When Do You Ever Feel Content With Your Chronic Illness? Because I Feel Like Im A Failure Because I Cant

When do you ever feel content with your chronic illness? Because I feel like I’m a failure because I can’t do basic stuff sometimes.

I just got back from a fun fair and I was on a ride sitting adjacent to this little boy. I was so intrigued by his demeanor. I will never forget how he made me so sad. He wasn’t excited about the ride, he was muttering to himself before the ride so I thought he was nervous. What stroke me was when the ride started, he had no grand reaction, no screaming, no facial expression, he was so serious and calm. More like he didn’t want to be there. I actually spoke to him after but he didn’t respond sand stored out. The other kids were going on and on about the ride, he was literally mute.

What could possibly steal joy out from a kid? I feel so sad for him, I wanted to give him a hug. I hope he heals from whatever he is going through.

Love should calm the storm inside of you, not provoke it.

k.b. // drowning, resurfacing: notes on heartbreak & healing by frankie riley

Do people just sit and reflect on how they might have hurt other people and actually reach out and apologize?

August 1st.

I must say, I’m very nervous about you August, your instant change of weather is my enemy of progress. I hope you can ease it out for me a little bit, I’ve been in a good productivity streak July set for me. Please go easy on me. I’m still just a girl.

It’s a chilly evening on July 31st and you’re comfortably snugged in your favorite clothes and a warm blanket. You suddenly realize that it’s been 7 months since this year started and there hasn’t been any big milestone you experienced so far. Either way, you’re swallowed by extreme feelings of contentment. All you can ever think is, I am doing my best. That’s enough. That’s what I call being at peace…

L. Mabaka