Random Person: Aight So Who Wears The Pants In The Relationship

Random person: aight so who wears the pants in the relationship

Race: OH so just because we're gAy We have to WeAr PAnTS? HOmOPHoBic baSTarD

Spot, wearily: honey please put your pants back on

Jack: if I run and jump at Davey, he'll catch me

Davey: no no no I'm holding coffee--!

Davey: *drops coffee, grabs Jack*

Jack: see?

when the quarantine ends we gotta get rid of capitalism for real. i’m not even being like a funny relatable commie teenager for the memes or whatever. capitalism is literally destroying the human spirit. i believe in the goodness of humanity!! i rlly do! but capitalism has built a society that values profit and productivity over human lives and connection. fuck elections that don’t mean anything fuck american oligarchy we gotta value each other and help each other

Know what's pretty?

Girls

Girls with chubby bellies and legs and arms and cheeks, they're so soft and you just wanna hold them forever and kiss 'em wherever you can

Girls with dreadlocks and buzzcuts and big curls and long hair and short hair and no hair, just wanna cradle 'em and kiss their foreheads and cheeks

Girls who tower above you or can look into your eyes or can barely reach your chest, because they're all so cute and huggable and warm

Girls with freckles, scars, mottled skin or acne because it all shows where they've been and tells part of their story

I love girls so much 😢

Bucky: wait what if it were

Bucky: Corvid 19

Steve: ..

Bucky: just like

Bucky: just like a bunch of crows y'know

Steve:...

Sam: yES

How DARE Indigenous protestors (*checks notes*) mildly inconvenience Canadians by demonstrating against (*checks notes again*) an illegal invasion of unceded Wet'suwet'en land in support of an industry that's (*checks notes a final time*) actively working to kill all life on Earth!