[ Bang Chan Hard Thought ] -

[ Bang Chan Hard Thought ] -

18 + Content & Fluff

[ Friends to Lovers ]

Masterlist

I think we can agree that Chan is a pleaser - if he can do something for someone, he will. So you’re close friends with the group, but particularly Chan and let’s say that isn’t always easy being best friends with someone as attractive, and lovely, as Chan himself, but you get by keeping all feelings and any desire to jump his bones to yourself. Occasionally there is a little tension - on the day's Chan is feeling stressed or needy you sometimes wonder whether you ought to throw caution to the wind and finally make a move like Hyunjin has been telling you to for weeks. Recently the unspoken tension seems to have increased threefold - maybe it’s because he’s leaving the country soon, maybe it’s because you’re in love with him and spend an unhealthy amount of time fighting off thoughts that you definitely shouldn’t be having about your best friend. It comes to a head a couple of days before Chan is due to fly to the US and this is how it goes:

First, maybe Chan invited you to just hang out at the dorm whilst he finishes packing his suitcase. You’re just lounging on his bed, silently admiring him as he fiddles about in his wardrobe as if every single item isn’t the same shade of black. It’s quiet, as it always is before he flies halfway around the world, the atmosphere is stuck somewhere between excitement for the upcoming tour and sadness for him having to leave the city and you. After a while he stands and walks to the bed with a hoodie in hand and you assume he’s about to pull it on, but instead he offers it to you.

‘What is that for?’ You ask, furrowing your brow.

At first Chan is a little quiet, his gaze on the floor as he replies: ‘I just thought, because I’m going away.’

As soon as he begins, he starts to backtrack. The first thought that flashes through your mind is that maybe he feels the same way about you as you do him and it stuns you into silence until you hear the sudden insecurity in his voice. Then you immediately move closer to him and reach for the hoodie and it takes great willpower to firstly, not melt over just how cute he is, and secondly, pull him to your side. ‘Chan,’ you manage, faintly aware of the tears gathering at the edges of your eyes, ‘I’ll miss you so much.’

You’re not sure who moves, but suddenly you’re wrapped tight in Chan’s arms, your nose tucked into the crook of his neck, your bodies pressed close together. Chan can feel his t-shirt bunched in your fists and he tries to hold you even closer and he knows his heart is pounding in a way that betrays just how he feels. He tells you just how much he’s going to miss you too and it almost hurts when he sees your watery eyes as he pulls away. He isn’t thinking as he leans closer, bowing his head slightly, his thoughts are in a whirr because you’re giving him the softest, most adoring look and he’s in love. His mouth is gentle against yours - the movement of someone slowly testing the waters, someone cautious of sending their best friend running a mile if this is all a misunderstanding. When he feels your fingers press into his back to keep him close, he finally begins to relax into the kiss.

It’s soft and gentle and sometimes you break apart to catch your breath, but your foreheads press together and Chan’s grip around your waist is enough to express his determination to keep you close. He allows you to take the lead - deepening the kiss, your fingers daring to slip beneath his t-shirt and he slowly pushes you to the duvet, taking his time to hover over you so you can ask him to stop at any moment. It’s quiet as you carefully peel clothing from one another - t-shirts, trousers and even when you’re almost naked, when he is achingly hard against your thigh, Chan doesn’t speed things up. He waits for you to make the final step and you do, as he places kisses along your collarbone, you thread your fingers through his hair and sigh quietly, ‘Chan, please.’

He lifts his head to catch your eye and when you nod, he finally slips your underwear down your thighs. He finds your mouth again and mutters against your lips, ‘I’m going to take care of you.’

All you can do is nod again and hold onto his broad shoulders in an effort to keep yourself grounded because this is Chan, your best friend, the one you’ve been in love with for you don’t remember how long and he’s just beautiful and gentle. He looks to you again before he lines himself up, a final demand for consent and when you start to feel a stretch, your fingernails press crescent shapes into his back. Chan’s breathing is heavy as he stills, torn somewhere between wanting to fuck you in the way he’s been thinking about for months and trying to hold it together. He furrows his brow and triple-checks whether you’re okay and even when you nod and say yes, he can see tears in your eyes once more and it’s only when you tug at the ends of his hair and sigh that he realises why they’re there. ‘It feels so good,’ you manage and Chan responds by gently moving his hips against your own.

This isn’t something Chan wants to rush, in fact, he wants it to last a lifetime. The closeness has you both softly sighing as your head falls deeper into the pillow, Chan’s forehead resting on your shoulder as he savours the warmth and the way you squeeze him just right. The feeling of you wrapped around him has his head spiralling and he is sure, he will come undone soon. He rolls his hips and draws a whimper from your mouth and the noise prompts him to move again, quicker, deeper, if only to hear that noise again.

It is gentle even when you finish – your name falls from Chan’s mouth as his movements still and he places a grounding hand on your thigh as he feels your shaking legs around his waist. His retreat is slow, reluctant, and he does not move far, moving to your side and tugging you into his chest. His touch is soft and meant to slowly draw you back to him and for a while, neither of you speak. Eventually, you shift to look at his face, one hand caressing his cheek and for a moment you stumble over your words because Chan is looking at you as if you’re his entire world. It’s sort of like, ‘Chan, I – ‘ and that’s it, even though you want to tell him you’re in love with him.

Even though you can’t quite finish, Chan nods his head and replies, ‘I know, me too.’

[ Moments NCT 127 Realise They’re In Love With You ] -

AFAB Reader

Masterlist

➳ Taeil -

When you’re content with spending time with him, even with eight tag-alongs. Johnny and Jungwoo are in the centre of the living room making a fuss about something and it is enough to make everyone laugh. A quick look at you and Taeil realises that you’re already glancing his way and the fleeting moment your eyes meet is enough to cause warmth to swell in his chest. He knows he is one of the quieter members of the group and he often has nothing to say and yet, you look to him even in a room full of people. 

When you’re moving through a hoard of people and he feels your fingers cling to his as if you might get swept away if you let go. He takes great pride in knowing that you trust him to protect you, to care for you. He can tell you he loves you a hundred times over and it is still not enough. He’ll push through every crowd and gently guide you to his inside whenever you walk beside a busy road, all whilst holding your hand as if you might fly away. 

➳ Johnny -

When he wakes in the morning, the bed is empty. A quick check of his phone and he realises that it’s already ten o’clock and he’s suddenly grateful for you letting him have a lie-in. When he finally peels himself from the bed, he sees you sitting in the kitchen, nursing a coffee as you read through a magazine. You’re swamped in a hoodie that very much belongs to him and he can’t help but pause at the sight.

When you visit the SM Building to meet him, and his group mates, for a coffee. He sees you standing in the sunshine, wearing your prettiest sundress, happily chatting away to Haechan and the sight brings a definite smile to his face. You look so happy and so beautiful and for a moment, he falters. He’s faintly aware of someone, Mark probably, calling his name, but he’s unmoving, feeling soft for the scene ahead of him. 

When you’re curling yourself into his side and Johnny realises that Haechan has been slipping you extra drinks all evening. You’re tucked into the crook of his neck, entirely uncaring for the restaurant surroundings. You’re muttering something and when he leans closer to listen, he realises that you’re telling him just how much you love him. It’s with tired eyes that you look at him and he is unable to resist wrapping you beneath his arm, all he wants to do is take care of you. He’ll bundle you up in his jacket soon and guide you home. 

➳ Taeyong -

When he finally pries himself from the studio a couple of hours after midnight. He’d last received a reply from you half an hour ago and he assumes that you’ve long since fallen asleep. He stumbles through the dorm already half asleep, briefly acknowledging Doyoung in the kitchen, before he makes for his bed. It’s only when he flicks on the bedside light that he realises that you aren’t in your own apartment, but are curled up beneath his duvet. The sight immediately makes him pause because you’re just so soft and he hadn’t realised just how much he’d been silently wanting to see you and you seemed to know without him mentioning anything. 

When you agree to meet in the studio just to spend time together. He has a track to be working on and you are happy to just be in his company without disturbing him. This in itself is more than enough to bring a shy sense of appreciation from him. But, when you walk into the studio, two iced coffees in hand, his laugh is light and airy because he has two identical coffees sitting on his desk, one for each of you. He suddenly realises just how similar you are, how well you complement each other. 

➳ Yuta -

When you spend half an evening in the kitchen, pouring your heart into cooking his favourite dish from Japan. He offers to help and you politely decline, (probably for the best), insisting that he takes the time to rest instead. It’s when he takes the first bite and it’s as if he’s sat at his mother’s dining table and when he asks whether you had spoken to his family for the recipe, you flush slightly and turn your head away with the worry that you hadn’t replicated it too well. He insists that it’s just as wonderful.

When he’s deep in conversation with Taeyong and his friend warmly asks how you’re doing. Yuta appears to come alive as he discusses you, even sharing the story of the dish you’d spent so much time preparing for him. He tells Taeyong that it tasted just like home, and he suddenly realises that home isn’t a place after all. Maybe you’re home. 

➳ Doyoung -

When you seem to pick up on how he’s feeling before he’s even realised himself. After a hectic week of promotion, practice and everything else in-between, Doyoung is tense. When you place a hand on his shoulder, you feel his tight muscles. When he talks with Yuta, you hear the slight bite behind his words. Doyoung doesn’t realise until you’re forcing him to rest his head on your lap so you can run your fingers through his hair, and he suddenly feels drained. It’s a quiet conversation about your day to ground him in something other than his own work and it’s when his eyelids feel heavy that he turns to place a kiss on your wrist as a silent thank you.

➳ Jaehyun -

When you’re at a bar with Jaehyun and a few friends, some being his group mates. Jaehyun had been caught up in conversation - he’d been reluctant to leave your side given that you had only just been introduced to some of his closest friends. When he finally looks up from his conversation, however, he sees you across the space, your head tipped back with laughter at something Jungwoo has just said and Jaehyun is overcome with the feeling that maybe, this might just work out. You seemed to slip into the group as if you had known them as long as he had and you were kind, and confident, and friendly, but not too friendly. 

When he slowly opens the door to the bedroom he shares with Jungwoo. His roommate is out for the evening and Jaehyun had occupied himself with whatever Haechan had been watching in the living room whilst you freshened up with a shower. It’s after a soft knock that he opens the door. He sees you, dressed all in his clothing after his last minute persuasion to have you stay the night. There is music playing and you’re slowly moving around the little space, folding the clothes he’d thrown on the floor, even straightening Jungwoo’s duvet, and he almost doesn’t want to disturb you, let you know he’s there. He thinks of how wonderful a mother you would make. 

➳ Jungwoo -

When it is an ordinary Wednesday, nigh eight o’clock. The rain that has threatened all day has finally arrived, washing the city in grey. Jungwoo goes to the apartment building entrance to let you inside and when he opens the door, he sees you half-drenched but still smiling. You have thrown your jacket over your head, but your shirt is sodden. When Jungwoo reaches for you, the bare skin on your arms is cool to the touch and even so, you do not complain. In fact, you seem happier than ever, soaked through. He welcomes you inside and it is all laughter and doubling over. There is a teasing glint in your eye as you wrap yourself around him and when he laughs and half-heartedly tries to push you away, he figures that this is what love feels like. 

➳ Mark -

When you both collapse onto the bed at your apartment after a busy day exploring Seoul. It is early evening and the windows in your apartment allow golden sunlight to filter inside. They are open and a gentle breeze comes through. Mark knows that his schedule is full for the coming weeks and yet, spending time with you seems to make him completely forget about it. He looks at you, basking in the golden light and it is as if he has nowhere to be, but here. The feeling in his chest is warm, like the air, and time is irrelevant. He does not speak for a while and neither do you, content with carding your fingers through his hair.

When you finally turn to him, you trace your thumb over his cheek and the sensation has him closing his eyes if only to savour the feeling. For a while, it is as if he is only Mark, not Mark of NCT. Sometimes, the thought of ordinary is nice. When it is time for him to go, (he does share a room with a manager after all), you are gentle with your goodbye, as if the softness of the evening is clinging to the moment. You kiss his cheek as your final parting and send him on his way with a firm reminder of just how much you’re in love with him.

➳ Haechan - 

When he finds you sitting at the piano he so much likes to play. He sees your bowed head, your lower lip pulled beneath your teeth, as you try and replicate the ditty he had played for you earlier in the day. There is a knit in your brow and when you play a wrong note, you backtrack with the same determination that he does. Even when he moves to your side and you make enough space on the piano stool for him to share, you do not stop trying to play. At least until he offers to show you once more and it is when he finishes and looks at you that he sees your eyes, wide with awe. He lets the moment pass by teasing you a little, something about being with him for his talented fingers. Inside he knows he is young and he has an entire lifetime ahead of him and he wonders if he is spoilt for having found this feeling so soon. 

[ Jealous Chan Headcanons ] -

Pairing: Chan x (fem) reader

(Featuring Namjoon, the other loml)

Warnings: Reference to 18 + Themes & Swearing

Masterlist

Summary: Sort of an au where you're a celebrity hosting an awards show

A/N: Maybe this doesn't qualify as 'headcanons' as it's long, but I'm just too lazy to fill the gaps to turn this into something longer

- It was the annual Golden Disc Awards and as a popular figure within society, you were invited as a host to present the award to whichever successful musician won your assigned category

- When you received the proposal, you weren’t certain who was more excited between yourself and Chan - you were honoured to be considered for the role and Chan was overjoyed for several reasons

- First, the sight of your happiness was more than enough to bring a smile to his face

- Second, he felt as though you were being recognised for your own success and the invitation paid homage to just how adored you were by both your fans and professionals within the community

- Finally, he was excited for entirely selfish purposes - given that your relationship was completely private, meaning that he couldn’t bring you as a guest, it meant that you would attend the event and he wanted nothing more than to share the experience with you, even from afar

- The group were as pleased to know you were going - there would be a bunch of people attending who they were unfamiliar with, so they felt like they had someone on the inside in you who might introduce them to others

- Trying to find an outfit was significantly more difficult than you had anticipated and Seungmin proved to be an unexpected help - you had been inundated with catalogues from several designer companies and narrowing down your choices seemed impossible

- You had arrived at the dorm before Chan had returned from the studio and to pass the time, had pulled up the catalogues, the selection date in only a matter of days and as you sat on the sofa in the dorm living room, Seungmin noticed the stress pretty much radiating from you and immediately offered to help

- Eventually, you agreed on something and Chan spent the next three weeks, (the entire lead-up to the show), trying to find out what you had chosen, but you refused to spill, determined to keep it a secret so you might surprise him

- Unfortunately, as host, you were required to get ready on-site which meant that you were unable to check in with the group, including Chan, before everything began

- It also came as a last-minute bombshell that you would be responsible for presenting the ‘Album of the Year Award’, which definitely didn’t feel like the sort of information to be shared an hour before the guests took their seats, but what could you do

- To little surprise, BTS took the prize and as the seven members filed onto the stage, you joined the audience in applause for their success

- It wasn’t your first time encountering the group and as Namjoon took the microphone, he was quick to compliment his host, you, in his speech

- After he finished, handing the microphone to Suga to continue, he moved to your side

- He was generous and humble, anyone who had ever met him could vouch for that and he made you laugh as you listened to his group

- When he received the microphone again, he directed more praise your way, even placing a friendly hand on your shoulder as he bowed, before leading the group from the stage once more

- Chan was obviously watching the entire scene from his seat and part of him was pleased – he agreed with Namjoon and you certainly earned the praise that he had offered

- Namjoon was also one of his greatest role models and he’d decided long ago that if he could be half the leader that Namjoon had been, he would be content

- But equally, that was his girlfriend

- Namjoon might be his inspiration, but that was his girlfriend

- He liked to think that he wasn’t the jealous type, particularly when it came to you receiving acclaim that you wholeheartedly deserved, even more so from someone so well-respected as the leader of BTS, but he’d been a little hot under the collar since he’d first laid eyes on you in that dress and he was pretty sure that he wasn’t the only individual in the room who’d taken note of just how good you looked

- Were you and Namjoon acquainted, he knew the answer was yes, and how was the leader to know that you were dating when everything was so hush-hush – he knew all the answers, but it didn’t help his feeling of envy ease in the slightest

- After witnessing what had happened on stage, Chan’s group could practically feel the tension emanating off their leader – for the remainder of the evening he couldn’t seem to sit back in his seat and relax. He leant forward, elbows on his knees, and if anyone looked close enough, he would have looked as if he wasn’t enjoying himself, as if his constantly tapping foot was a sign of his desperation to get out of there because it had been an unpleasant evening.

- Felix had turned to him with genuine worry and asked whether he was feeling okay, whether he needed some air, or to loosen his tie. Hyunjin, however, after hearing Felix’s concern, was quick to interject: ‘He’s fine, aren’t you Chan?’ He suggested, before pinching Chan’s thigh and raising his eyebrows

- Chan realised that, perhaps, he wasn’t acting very professional – if the cameras panned to him at any point, he didn’t want to be seen looking quite so frustrated, uncomfortable, a little angry, any of the above

- When you were permitted to leave the backstage area and join the table of your choice, the group thought that Chan might start to ease up, but boy, were they wrong

- Management, whilst agreeing to have you seated at the Stray Kids table, for positive publicity and blah blah, agreed on the condition that you would be purposefully seated at the opposite side of the round-table to Chan to ensure that he didn’t forget himself after a flute or two of champagne

- As you took your place between I.N. and Changbin, Chan’s smile was genuine, but his shoulders were pinned with tension and Hyunjin and Han snickered

- Honestly, you were a little oblivious to Chan’s body language, the minutes spent on stage had been an absolute whirlwind and you were simply relieved to have not messed up

- As the evening continued, you caught Chan staring at you from across the table on more than one occasion, but passed it off as him simply wanting to speak after not having seen each other for most of the day

- When the show finally drew to an end, you were almost a little disheartened, given how much fun you’d had and you were expressing your sadness to I.N. as you meandered through the corridors and to the exit, when Chan risked edging his way closer

- I.N., on seeing the stern expression across his leader’s face, made his departure from your side quick – even if he wasn’t the maknae, Chan’s rare display of frustration was enough to send anyone scurrying from your hip

- Chan ventured to place an arm around your waist and you sent him a surprised glance – as much as you hated hiding your relationship, rules were rules and you weren’t one to damage either of your prospects by slipping-up

- Chan wasn’t looking at you, however, his line of sight was across the way and as you followed it, you saw him staring at the members of BTS as they too took their leave

- Huh, you thought, deciding not to shake his arm away, Namjoon’s flirting must have been more obvious than you initially thought, if Chan’s furrowed brow was anything to go by

- (Not to mention the tightening of his fingers into your hip as the leader of BTS appeared to scan the crowd for you)

- When it came to your relationship, Chan was as respectful as he could possibly be when around the group – as both the eldest and the leader, he had a certain responsibility to present himself in an upstanding manner, especially when it boiled down to the more intimate details of your relationship

- The same went for you – the last thing you wanted was to embarrass yourself, or have to stare into seven faces knowing that they knew exactly what you and Chan had been up to behind the closed door of his bedroom

- That was generally the case, anyway

- Seeing anyone flirt with you put Chan a little on edge, but seeing Namjoon, leader of the biggest fucking group of all time, flirt with you struck something a little deeper

- The moment Chan had closed the front door to the dorm behind whoever entered last, (he wasn’t paying the slightest bit of notice), he grabbed your hand, almost pulling you over as you started unbuckling your heels

- He was vaguely aware of Minho asking whether you were both hungry and he shook his head, choosing to ignore Han’s subsequent inappropriate comment about something else being on the menu for their leader

- (Not to say you weren’t feeling a little embarrassed, but something about Chan’s sudden desperation was more than distracting)

- Once in the relative safety of Chan’s bedroom, he was peeling your dress from your shoulders and ready to remind you just who you came home to

- That night, every member, even from their position in the living room, heard things, but quite frankly, after seeing someone else test the waters, Chan was more than happy to remind everyone that you were his and only his

Pairing: Johnny x AFAB Reader

Warnings: 18 + Content & Swearing, Nickname ‘Kid’ 

Masterlist

Johnny slowly tips his head in Mark’s direction as soon as the conversation about dating comes up as if it is a habit. You suppose that he really believes you’ll end up together eventually. He doesn’t tell you that it is Mark, always Mark and only Mark he points to because he doesn’t trust the other members of his group to not fall in love with you. Mark knows too much about him, about how he feels, to look at you in any way that isn’t friendship. But still, Johnny is unable to bring himself around to the idea of suggesting himself, as much as he wants to, as much as it pains him not to. So Mark is a safe alternative and he can continue playing the game, gently asking about your dating situation, before teasingly pointing out Mark as if it were the reason he asked in the first place. 

The same thought passes through your mind on every occasion. Mark is just, well, Mark. He’s attractive, you can say that with some certainty. And sweet, and soft, with a mean streak you’re sure arises at just the right times. He really is everything anyone should ever want for in a relationship and sure, he’s one of your closest friends. But, he isn’t Johnny. 

When you lift your eyebrows and shake your head, before diverting your attention to something else, the cycle begins again. Johnny does it all as if there isn’t a photograph of you tucked into his wallet, as if everyone does not know he is fighting off his feelings for you, except you. He watches as you turn away, he runs a hand through his hair and wonders how much longer he can continue like this, how much longer will you wait for him. 

When it is time for Johnny to leave, he stands, ruffling a hand through your hair and the movement is a stark reminder of the invisible line that is drawn between you. He says, ‘Hey Kid, I’ll see you later.’

He leaves with a heaviness in his heart that has become uncomfortably familiar. He tries to keep himself in check, telling himself you’re a friend he cannot afford to lose. Just a friend who doesn’t know what she wants. As he walks through the hallway, he hears you laughing at something and he steels himself. Mark, it should be Mark. 

It is three days later that he next sees you and it is three days too long. Between his busy schedule and your own, it is only when he finds a spare afternoon that he is able to invite you to tag along for coffee. You agree to meet outside the SM building, just as you have a million times before. As Johnny’s group slowly filter out from practice, he watches you through the glass, chatting to Haechan as if nothing in the world might disturb you. For a moment he wonders if he ought to nudge Haechan toward you, he’s a good one too and he would treat you just how you deserve. Something about the thought doesn’t sit right though and he quickly lets it go. He is faintly aware of Mark calling his name and he turns to meet him. 

‘Johnny, come on,’ Mark sighs with a shake of his head and a smile, ‘Just ask her out man.’ 

Johnny sighs too. Before he can protest, Mark is holding the door for him and he follows him into the sunshine, hearing your laugh. When you walk along the street, the curling of Johnny’s arm around your waist is too natural to be comfortable and if he hadn’t done it a hundred times before, it would stir butterflies in your stomach. 

At the coffeehouse, you insist on collecting the order from the countertop. Johnny’s line of sight follows you across the space, taking in the picture of you in the pretty periwinkle dress you save for when the weather is warm. He watches as the barista catches you in conversation and whilst you wait for the coffees, it is all laughter and friendly chatter. Johnny is familiar with the feeling that inches its way along his spine, pinning his shoulders. He wants to be angry with himself, how can he allow himself to feel such jealousy when he daren’t take the step he so wants to. 

When you return to the table, taking three trips to carry the coffees, Johnny gestures to the barista left behind. ‘He seemed nice,’ he mutters, the cheeriness to his tone entirely fabricated. 

‘Who?’ Is your reply, as if you hadn’t so much as noticed the guy, let alone his flirting.

Johnny’s laugh is genuine as he listens to you. ‘That guy. The one who just tried to get your number for fifteen minutes.’ 

‘Oh, right,’ You half-heartedly shrug, ‘Sure, he was.’ 

When Johnny glances at you, he realises that you are already looking at him. There is an almost unreadable expression across your face, but Johnny can almost read your mind, cursing him out for not making the move you’ve been silently begging for all this time. He shakes his head to dislodge the thought, ‘Not to worry Kid, there’s always someone else.’

Part of him wonders if he’ll ever push you far enough to confront him directly, but you brush off his comment with a soft smile and take a mouthful of your coffee. Just as the question of your dating situation, the moment falls away and Johnny is left with the same feeling of emptiness as before. As much as you laugh and lean together over the table, he is weighted by the simmering feeling that you aren’t really his. 

After leaving the coffeehouse, he is insistent on walking you to your apartment building. He has an answer for every one of your protests - he doesn’t care that it is the middle of the day, that there are a hundred other people moving along the street. He isn’t ready to say goodbye yet. He doesn’t tell you that he might never forgive himself if he simply waves and watches you step into the crowd, he thinks someone might fall in love and whisk you away. So he carries your cardigan over his shoulder and his hand hovers over your waist whenever people brush by until you are nearly home. 

He follows you into your apartment, grateful for the relief that the air-con provides. You immediately make for the refrigerator to pour two glasses of water and Johnny leans against the countertop. He’s told you a million times how much he likes your apartment and you can only suppose it’s because it is blissfully quiet in comparison to his shared bedroom with Haechan. 

‘It’s so hot,’ Johnny sighs, peeling the back of his shirt from his skin. He goes to say something more but catches sight of the hem of your dress flitting dangerously high against the back of your legs as you reach upwards for a glass. The picture casts any thought from his mind. 

He thinks back to the coffeehouse. Maybe it is because the city is sweltering, maybe the sight of an inch of extra skin, but he presses the matter. ‘That guy was into you, why don’t you give someone a chance?’

He hears you scoff as you hold a glass out to him, ‘I’m not dating Mark, Johnny.’ 

Johnny smiles at you, but his tone is serious, desperate. ‘I wasn’t going to suggest Mark. But, you know, you deserve to find someone.’ 

‘Johnny.’

The mention of his name is meant to serve as a warning, he knows and he stays quiet. As he watches you, he realises that you look tired, not physically, but tired of the sticky, complicated situation you share. He thinks about taking his leave, but you seem to read his mind and speak as to stop him. 

‘Johnny, you know why.’

It is quiet again, save for the sounds filtering through the open kitchen window. Johnny meets your eyes and sees that your gaze is firm, unmoving, daring even. The expression is in contrast to your periwinkle dress, the laughter and the friendly affection he associates with you. He hears you acknowledge a million different moments all at once - the longing glances, the touches too familiar for friendship, the unspoken commitment to one another.

‘Kid,’ Johnny manages after a while, ‘You don’t know what you’re asking.’

Johnny is faintly aware of a shift in the atmosphere. He watches your easy-going manner twist into something more serious. The laughter that meets his ears is light and airy. 

‘No, Johnny,’ You protest, turning away from him in the small space. ‘I do.’

He watches as you step away, putting a few extra paces between you, a hand running through your hair. He can see your pinned shoulders and hear the waver of your voice. After a moment, you turn and make for him and he wonders how long this has been brewing.

‘You always do this Johnny, call me Kid and push me away,’ the words are punctuated by the press of your finger into his chest. 

Johnny looks to your face, but you seem unwilling to meet his eye. You are standing dangerously close. Your hand has fallen to your side in defeat and he can almost feel the heat burning across your cheeks, hot enough to cut through the summer air. He sighs heavily and for a second he panics the movement might cause you to flee, but you seem frozen. Slowly, cautiously, Johnny raises a hand to your cheek and gently guides you to look at him. He finally sees the tears that have gathered at the edges of your eyes and the sight causes his heart to lurch.

‘Kid,’ He murmurs, thumb softly moving over your skin. Your eyes are wide and waiting and Johnny sighs, ‘Fuck. I can’t break your heart.’ 

For a second you wonder if Johnny is going to do just that, whether you ought to have stuck with the silly unspoken game of before. But the sudden pull of his hand is slow, but firm, as if certain you might fly away if he lets go. His mouth is desperate against yours and strong and his other hand ghosts over your waist, bunching the material of your dress in his fingers. Before he can begin to question himself, you stumble forward until your chests are almost touching. It is a messy affair of clashing tongues and desperate fingers, at least until you break apart to catch your breath and then the reality of the situation seems to seep in. Johnny is standing closer than he has ever before, almost pressing you against the kitchen cabinet and his chest is lifting with each inhale of breath. 

You force yourself to speak first, but only manage a quiet whisper of his name. Johnny winces, ‘Y/N, this isn’t how I wanted this to go.’ 

Johnny sighs when he feels your mouth barely scratch over his neck and he slowly guides you against the countertop. The press of his hips against your own is slow, giving you time to slip away if you want to. The soft noise of appreciation that escapes from your chest at the first experimental roll of his hips is enough for him to continue. His hand moves from your waist, trailing to the top of your thigh to feel the bare skin beneath your sundress and as he shifts, you’re able to feel the growing hardness beneath his jeans. 

He is able to feel the lift of your mouth into a smile and he draws back to glance at your face. The smile across your features sends Johnny’s blood rushing southwards quicker than any amount of kissing and he finally allows himself to relax a little. Something about the seriousness of the earlier situation, of your firm tone and the sight of you moving away from him had set him on edge. 

This time it is him who trails his mouth against the sensitive skin of your neck, relishing the sudden exhales of breath each nip of his teeth draws from your throat. He is conscious of your wandering fingers, slipping beneath the hem of his t-shirt, slowly moving against his abdomen, daring to shift beneath his belt buckle. As much as he wants you to continue, the feeling sobers him and he pulls himself away, the loss of contact elicits a whimper from you that almost fractures his resolve. 

‘Y/N,’ Johnny smiles softly, his thumb tracing shapes on your hip, ‘I just don’t want to mess this up with you.’

His words cause your heart to flutter. If only you might tell him just how head over heels in love with him you are. ‘Johnny, I know. Why do you think I never said anything. I’d rather have you as a friend than not at all.’ 

Johnny’s smile grows a little wider. ‘Right. I just worry about you, about being with an idol and -.’ 

The gentle press of your hand against his chest breaks his train of thought. ‘Johnny, stop thinking.’

It is with something between adoration and absolute desire that he looks at you as you approach. He desperately tells himself to ingrain the image of you into his mind, standing in your kitchen, awash in the sunshine pouring through the window. Johnny’s hands reach for your waist and threaten to move beneath the hem of your dress and he is shameless as he presses himself against you. Your hands find purchase beneath his t-shirt, fingernails raking over his bare skin and it feels different touching Johnny like this, but better than you might have imagined. 

Johnny is soft and gentle, letting you guide him to your bedroom by his hand. At the foot of your bed, you look at him in an unspoken plea and he silently takes control, pushing you toward the duvet before settling himself between your thighs. He moves slowly, but with great purpose - grazing his teeth beneath your ear, spreading his hand on your thigh and forcefully pressing his hips against your own. The press of your nails into his shoulder blade and the breathy whines leaving your mouth drive him on, pushing him to pull the t-shirt from his back. His fingers slip beneath the straps of your summer dress and as he fiddles with them he pauses, ‘We can stop at any point, Y/N.’

He hears your huff and feels the tug of your fingers against the ends of his hair. When he finally removes your dress, he sighs against your neck and you relish in the feeling of bare skin against bare skin. Johnny raises himself onto his hands to have himself a shameless glance of your figure, ‘Kid,’ he mutters, shaking his head with a smirk playing at the edges of his mouth. 

He kisses along your stomach, on the inside of your thighs, dangerously close to your underwear. The movement riles you up exactly as he desires and he feels you fidget beneath him, whining his name. He hooks a finger beneath the waistband, but does not immediately move, giving you time to push him away, but you only stutter his name once more. Johnny is slow as he slips your underwear along your thighs, taking great enjoyment in the motion before he throws it to the side. He, at last, places his mouth where you most want him, smirking as he feels your hands move through his hair as his tongue flattens and rolls between your thighs, his breath fanning against your heat. His hand splays against your stomach to keep you in place and for a while, he is captivated by the sound of his name falling from your mouth and the tremble of your thighs. 

Slowly, steadily, he draws you to the edge, responding to each pull of his hair and jerk of your hips, until your thighs shake against his shoulders. He only stops when your fingers slip to his jaw and gently pull him away and he finally takes in your appearance. Johnny knew you were beautiful, but something about the sight of you, wide-eyed and needy for him strikes something a little deeper. He is aware of your fingers scooting along his abdomen, fiddling with the buckle of his belt. 

Johnny is big in every sense of the word - big as he nestles between your thighs, but even bigger when he lines himself up at your entrance. ‘Johnny,’ you mutter between kisses. 

At the mention of his name, he looks to your face and pauses, faintly aware of how achingly hard he is against your thigh. You look at him with hooded eyes, ‘It’s been a while.’

At first, Johnny just nods, before he lets out a breathy chuckle and his head falls forward to your shoulder, ‘I guess that’s my fault.’ 

Your laughter is a firm reminder of just how much he wants this, how much he wants you, the sex and the laughter. When he starts to slip inside, slowly because he wants to take the utmost care of you, he can feel your nails pressing crescent shapes into his shoulder. Part of him thinks he ought to be worried about someone seeing them, part of him wants everyone to know that you’re his, maybe he’ll walk around the dorm shirtless just to show Haechan, Mark, and everyone, that you’re only his. 

Johnny winces as he bottoms out, the feeling of you squeezing him making him want to curse himself for waiting so long to give in to his feelings. He furrows his brow and makes certain that you’re comfortable before he moves and you nod desperately, whilst pulling at his shoulders, searching for something to ground yourself with. Johnny smirks against your skin, moving with a little more force, reaching so deep that it feels as though he’s rearranging your insides. The feeling is so overwhelming that Johnny’s name falls from your mouth over and over again whilst you helplessly hold onto him. 

It is quiet as you finish, Johnny’s thumb tracing over your cheek, his breath fanning against your neck and he is slow to move away. He shifts to lie on his back and pulls you close, resting your chin on his chest as his fingers trail along the skin of your back. ‘Hey, Y/N,’ he murmurs, drawing your attention to his face, ‘Can I take you on a proper date tomorrow? Wine and dine, even though we’ve done things out of order.’

Johnny’s heart tightens at the sincerity behind your smile. There is a pause before you sigh, ‘I was actually thinking of asking Mark out tomorrow.’

Johnny immediately groans and fidgets beneath you, pressing his fingers into his eyes. ‘You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?’

Whilst you shake your head just to agonise him a little more, the sound of your laughter is enough - he can take a lifetime of teasing if it means he can grow old hearing it. 

[ Friends to Lovers with Kihyun Headcanons ] -

Pairing: Kihyun x reader

Warnings: None

Masterlist

You’d worked alongside enough companies, alongside enough idols, to be well acquainted with the general idea of the dating ban. As far as you were concerned, it prevented any unwanted situations. They were constantly under scrutiny and you were quite content working from behind the scenes. 

Starship Entertainment had recruited you to join their writing programme and it had just so happened that Monsta X were in the process of producing material for their upcoming comeback

That had been almost an entire year ago, the comeback had been and gone, and you’d stuck around to start on the next album

In that time, you’d grown close to the group, spending hours at a time cooped-up in the studio, sometimes passing what little free time you had together, getting food, occasionally shopping

It hadn’t been intentional, but you’d naturally gravitated toward Kihyun, who was generous, and hard-working, and attractive. There was little denying the fact that he was easy on the eye, but he was an idol, and the three-whip bylaw never strayed far from your mind - he was off-limits. 

It didn’t seem that he was deterred, however, and you wondered whether he was simply affectionate with every one of his friends - leaning a little too close for comfort when you sat at the mixing-desk, placing a firm hand on your waist whenever he needed to brush-by, allowing barely an inch between your bodies when you queued for coffee

After a while, you began to pick-up on his habits - placing a hand on his shoulder, close to the crook of his neck, when he was sat at the mixing-desk and seeking the warmth of his thigh against your own when he insisted on you squeezing onto the too-small sofa, rather than standing

When you were alone, his hand would move to your knee, the threat of it slipping higher ever present, and if he were slouched in the producer’s chair, your fingers would card through the hair at the nape of his neck

That was it, right?

You certainly hadn’t shared a conversation about anything to do with feelings

But, you weren’t in a position to date anyone else and part of you hoped that he felt similarly 

(One morning, on your way to the studio, you met to grab a coffee and when the barista started to shamelessly flirt with you, Kihyun’s arm moved around your waist as if to tell the world that you were his)

Kihyun’s closest friends had actually been on at him for a couple of months and your relationship was a touchy subject - at least once day, they asked whether you were dating and when he evaded the question, as was typical, they were quick to tease -

Changkyun had commented something along the lines of, if Kihyun wasn’t going to make a move, he was - Kihyun’s glare almost sent him running and he quickly dropped the matter

Shownu, with slightly more tact than his friends, pointed out that friends didn’t act quite the way he’d seen Kihyun and you act

For a while, you carried on as you were - toeing the line somewhere between friendship and something more and sure, the tension was virtually palpable (Hyungwon actively refusing to enter the studio on one occasion, convinced that he would find two people in varying states of undress inside), but you didn’t want to be the one reading into something that, perhaps, wasn’t there

(It was) (Kihyun felt much the same and he’d been dropping hints for weeks)

After a particularly drawn-out day in the studio, Kihyun insisted on getting dinner and you were more than happy to join him, sharing a couple of beers and winding down for a day off. Just like any other time, you did the very same things that you both knew a couple would - holding out food for one another and snapping too-cute photographs of each other

Kihyun offered (more like demanded) to walk you home and naturally, you invited him inside, as would any friend, but in a moment of bravery, you asked if he would like a glass of wine

A couple of close friends enjoying a drink together on a Friday evening? No big deal

Seeing that it you were both lucky enough to have a day or two off, Kihyun couldn’t see a reason to say no, so you chatted a while in the kitchen of your apartment, about work, about family and friends, and flirted a little

Maybe it was the wine, you weren’t certain, but you were laughing along with each other, before you were suddenly standing closer than before and it was cool, you’re friends, until you suddenly weren’t because he had leant nearer to kiss you and you supposed friends didn’t do that

Glasses of wine forgotten, Kihyun had placed his hands on your waist after you’d placed a hand just below his ear to let him know that this was exactly what you wanted and he deepened the kiss, his mouth moving against yours in a way that told you he had thought about this very situation before

When you withdrew to catch your breath, he didn’t allow you to slip very far and the faint blush visible across your features was temptation enough for him to ask for more

[ Bang Chan Hard Thought ] -

18 + Content

Masterlist

Okay, so Chan is absolutely the sort to shy away from doing anything unless you explictly ask. I’m talking, you’re making out on your bed and it’s hot and heavy and anything but innocent. He’s moving down your neck, nipping at your most sensitive spots and maybe he’s smirking when he tugs a particularly desperate noise from your mouth. His hands have found purchase beneath your shirt, fingers running along your waist, constantly threatening to move higher. And he’s achingly hard against your thigh. Your hands are moving along his back, beneath his black t-shirt and the slight press of your nails against his skin is enough to encourage him to press his hips tighter against your own. When you press your thigh against his waist, he moves against you to create friction and he’s desperate, but he won’t do anything more until you’re tugging at the ends of his hair and sighing and pulling away from him just long enough to say, ‘Chan, please fuck me.’ 

And then, well. 

He’s smirking, but inside, he’s screaming at himself to keep it together. As much as he wants to tear your clothes off, he’s desperate to be respectful, so it’s delicate fingers pulling at the hem of your shirt until it’s over your head. He falters for a moment when he sees you shirtless, exposed to him and he suddenly remembers just how hard he is. You catch him staring, even though it is just for a second and you can see the conflict behind his eyes. His hair is tousled and he just looks so big settled between your legs and his trousers really aren’t doing much to conceal what is supposed to be hidden beneath. And you know that he is trying to be a gentleman, so this time you tug at his t-shirt, drawing him down to you and when he is close enough, you sigh just beside his ear, ‘Chan, I said fuck me.’