Chan Imagines - Tumblr Posts

Paring: Dino x fem!reader
Requested: no
Genre: angst, fluff
Warning(s): cheating, angst, sadness, mentions of pregnancy (do inform me if there's more)
Summary: You were the light guiding Chan for the most of his life. now that you are not there anymore, he cant help but feel your absence as he reminisces his past and all those times you were there to ground him no matter what.
Word count: 6k
Other works
disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.
special thanks to @spamgyu for helping me out đ
a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask.
[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, donât fill the form otherwise]

Chan's life was determined before he had a chance to consider it. His family wasn't well-off. They struggled from early on to get food on their plates. He knew from when he was a child that he had to support his siblings because his parents refused to do so.
So thatâs exactly what he did. He got into SNU with a full scholarship, secured a good job, and built a stable life with six figures coming in annually to his bank account, providing enough money to support his siblingsâ dreams.
But what did it all get him?
Nothing!
He sacrificed his teens and his twenties because his father felt the need to be a raging alcoholic, and now he stands in the middle of Gangnam in his beautiful flat with its polished floors. But he lacks the most important thing in life: happiness.
To be truthful, he lacks a lot of things, but happiness takes the cake. If someone asks him, he lacks friends too. But our dearest Boo Seungkwan would like to disagree about that. In Chanâs defense, friends are absolutely not equal to friend (just a difference of âsâ, as our dear âKwanieâ said. Plus, his multiple personalities make up for the said lack of âsâ, which further raises the question as to why the man does not go for a checkup, as it seems he has self-diagnosed DID. We shall never know).
Chan is happy about his brothers doing what they like, though. Itâs not that hard to not be happy when he literally raised them. Sacrifices need to be made, he has realized; some just make more than others, and there is nothing one can do about that. He accepts that he is indeed grateful for the friend he has made, the one who has stayed with him and accepted him as he is.
Now, it may sound sappy, and Chan swears he will never tell this to Seungkwan, but he has indeed helped him through the thick and thin of life. All those late-night drinking sessions and ugly crying have brought him to this stage in life where he thinks of the boy as more of a family than anyone else. He helped him when Chanâs life was falling apart, and he also was there to scold him back to the right track when no one believed in him, not even himself.
Although he lacks happiness, he is fine with that (he at least has Boo Seungkwan). He can live with being sad; he already has!
This is where you came in, the reason for Chanâs genuine smiles, from back in college to five years ago. It was a pretty serious relationship that you both had. Chan loved you. He had plans of making you his wife. For Godâs sake, he was in a relationship with you for almost ten years! But somewhere along the way, he messed up. He became the exact thing he had hated all his life.
He became a person like his father.
You, being the nice kind, tried your best to stop him from spiraling down the rabbit hole of bad habits. But alas, it takes two to tango, and if he didnât want to be better, no one, not even God himself, could do it for him.
It took losing you to realize how messed up his life had become.
--
âChan, Iâm heading out. Dinnerâs in the fridgeâplease actually eat it this time. We donât need two meal skippers in this household,â you quipped, watching as Chan chuckled and gave you a quick giggle inducing peck before returned his attention to the document heâd been typing for the past hour.
âSure thing, Your Majesty. Your command shall be dutifully followed!â he exclaimed with a mock salute, drawing out another laugh from you. With a playful ruffle of his hair and another peck on his cheek, you left the apartment to begin your night shift at the hospital.
Chan, unlike you, has just started his new job after completing his MBA. Itâs been tough, but heâs persevered, and soon enough, you both will be able to enjoy the luxuries he could only dream of growing up.
Your fifth anniversary is approaching faster than ever, and now Chan finally has the means to fulfill your dream of a trip to Europe. The pressure of this new job is more than the last one, but getting those tickets would be a walk in the park now.
Quickly finishing his document and mailing it to the head of the department, he immediately goes to check those flight ticket prices and hotel prices. He releases a happy sigh the minute he realizes that itâs exactly what he had expected the prices to be. So, without wasting a single moment, he buys those tickets. He knew this gift would make you happier than ever.
The next month, you had been notified about the expensive purchase only because you had to get a leave from your job, and you obviously canât disappear for two weeks unannounced. He, in reality, had no plans to inform you about anything, but he couldnât interfere with your job either.
But at the end it was worth it, the look on your face the minute you were informed about the trip. Oh, if only Chan could frame it and keep it away from the world, only if he could keep you near him and never let you go. But he didnât think of that then. No, he was happy he had told you earlier.
The happiness radiating off you as you kept going on and on about the clothes you needed to buy, all the foods you were going to try once there. It was what helped him keep going throughout the day, even though the work became tiring with every passing minute.
If only he could have stopped time and lived in that moment forever.
â
One thing he never realized is how demanding his job would be once he got into a higher position. The calls kept him up at night; they came at the most ungodly of times, and Chan was expected to pick them up, because he always did.
You never complained; it was fine by you. If anyone understood him, it was you. Both of you had highly demanding jobs, and nothing could beat the expectations your colleagues had on you both.
But what he had not counted on was those calls interrupting your trip. During the entirety of your anniversary, he was glued to that phone of his, never once able to leave it. It was one problem at the office or the other.
Again, you kept your mouth shut, enjoying your own company as your boyfriend busied himself with work in the hotel room.
That was the last trip you both had gone on. You figured that it was too much to ask from someone who had so much work to do. But still, you understood his hunger to do better in life. You understood that someone had to compromise in the relationship and wholeheartedly accepted that it had to be you.
Coming to think of it, it was not supposed to be like this. Never! Both of you were supposed to communicate and figure out what your relationship was supposed to mean. But somewhere along the line, it just became regular sex and nothing else. When you talked about this with your friends, all of them had the same reaction.
âLeave him!â they had told you, âhe wouldnât change, he prefers his job more than you.â
It was a regular thing now. But you were scared. All the years you had invested in the relationship, you never wanted it to become what it had. You had held out hope that one day Chan would notice you. He would realize he had a girlfriend who also needs his attention as much as his job.
It didnât take too long for those dreams to come true, though.
â
One night, you sat down with the man, asking him about the changes in his life. You begged him to look your way beyond the times he made love to you. It was an intense conversation, filled with words that neither of you actually meant, but hurt you both equally.
That night brought you both another few years, or thatâs what you think. It became better, both your lives and the relationship. You both would talk more, spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and go about your days with lovesick smiles on your faces. Although none of your jobs became less hectic, it still was as painstaking as ever, but the scenery in your shared home was peaceful. It was both of your comfort zones.
What neither of you realized, this peace that you both had brought back into your lives, was fickle. In order to keep it like that, both of you had to put in some effort.
â
It slowly became visible to both of you how much more effort this relation of yours needed. Both of you saw the way your paradise was crumbling down bit by bit. Nights became lonely for you. Chan, being the perfectionist he is, would be stuck up in his office until the rays of sun hit the glass windows, reminding him of the fact that he indeed had stayed the night in his office. The hectic job took everything away from him. It stripped him of his identity, and slowly it was also stripping his happiness and sanity away. It was like the darker times had hit both of you again.
It was then that he suddenly passed out on the streets due to extreme fatigue and was brought immediately into the nearest hospital, which was the one you worked at. Lo and behold, you were the nurse on emergency room duty that day. This was the first time you saw the love of your life in that state; you saw what this new job had done to him. How it had taken this happy and healthy person you knew and turned him into this sick, unhappy, and overworked person. Your helplessness mocked you in your face. At night, you stayed by his side after the doctors had given their verdict about him being too overworked. You took care of him like never before, making sure to make him take an ample amount of rest.
Sadly, the industry is ruthless. As soon as the employers became aware that their once highly valuable employeeâs usefulness had diminished, they ultimately opted to terminate him. Although Chan claims there were some more internal politics involved in this sacking, there was no way he could have evaded it.
Both of you soon realized it was the best thing that could have happened to him. While being the worst experience he could ever go through in his corporate career.
You stayed by his side through every hurdle though. You never once let him feel the need to be more than what he already was. But life was giving both of you a hard time.
It took Chan another month to get a new job. But only this time, it was a better, more important position in a better company. This is when life took off for both of you again. With Chan back on track, equipped with the newfound knowledge of not working more than necessary, he was on a roll. Almost unstoppable.
This change also affected your relationship, but positively this time. Chan and you would go on constant dates and enjoy each otherâs company way more than ever.
â
It was nearing your seventh anniversary. Both of you had talked about getting married and starting a family enough times for him to know this was the perfect time for him to propose.
So, on the day of your seventh anniversary, he had planned to take you to this fancy Italian place. He claimed that you deserved only the best. No one could ever argue with him about that. You, along with Seungkwan, had been by his side for so long that he had forgotten the time when he didnât have you both. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would change that fact. With that it brought him to the most important question of that year.
âBut what ring do I buy her?â the stressed boy asked his best friend.
âWow, I wasnât informed about the fact that y/n suddenly had become my girlfriend!â Seungkwan exclaimed sassily.
âDude, you can calm down. She is still my girl, ainât no way you are getting her. Find a girl of your own,â the shorter boy retorted back.
Why am I being asked about her preference for a ring then, huh?â
âBecause she said, and I quote, âif you buy me an expensive engagement ring that I canât even wear out because it looks too expensive, I will castrate youâ,â Chan said seriously, bringing out a seal-like laugh from the back of Seungkwanâs throat.
âDo something meaningful for her then, you dumb fuck,â making Chan almost cringe at the scolding. Without letting the boy talk, his best friend continued, âPut in some effort and do something that shows you care, without having to spend a copious amount of money. I have no idea what you should do, but bro, if it were up to me, a girl would for sure get a ring no matter what!â
Now, this made him think. It made him think hard. But even after all that thinking, he couldnât come up with a good idea for an alternative for an engagement ring.
It was not until the next Saturday when he was sitting on the couch waiting for you to choose a movie for the weekly movie night, did he stumble upon the perfect idea for a ring? Like any usual person, the man was scrolling through TikTok when he found out that one could make rings out of clay.
Perfect!
If you didnât want a diamond ring, you shall get a clay ring. For you might catch the sun lacking one day, but not Chan, never Chan!
â
This kick-started the learner phase of Chanâs life once again. He would visit the pottery classes every week because he needed to excel at the art to mold the perfect ring. One suitable for daily wear and also because this hobby brought him more peace than ever.
He made some friends here; they were fun to hang out with. You had met all these new people flooding into his life. He would parade about the with his hand on you showing you off proudly.
âWho wouldnât?â he would ask whenever someone pointed it out. This question had the power to make him start ranting about you at any given point. So much so that after a point, people stopped asking him about you, no matter the context.
Because, oh boy, was he in love.
--
It took him one year and some friendships to finally complete learning everything there was to learn about pottery. In the course of that time, he had littered your shared house with his creations.
Oh, you wanted to buy a new bowl because you saw it on Instagram? No fear, Chan shall make it this instant. Oops, your favorite coffee mug broke? Chan has come to your rescue with a better, scientifically cute, usable, and overall better mug for you.
The creative spark of the boy never dimmed down, nor did his extroverted nature. Every other day, he would be out with his new friends, so much so that even Boo Seungkwan noticed. You both had chats with each other about the changes in Chanâs life over a cup of tea whenever Seungkwan would come over.
To say that you both were happy about him enjoying life would be an understatement. You had seen the pain the man had gone through in his life. It only made sense for him to have the best of the best experiences when he had the opportunities.
But again, as people say, one should do everything in moderation. It seems that Chan could do nothing in moderation. He would work himself half to death. In this case too, he started drinking and partying himself half to death. The outings that were done to unwind after a long hard day became parties that were making the day even longer.
The friends that helped him overcome the pressuring environment of his office became the ones who would pressure him to go way out of his comfort zone, all for the wrong reasons. People say twenties are times when people experiment with their life and gain new experiences.
The same was applicable for Chan too, the only difference being he was learning different ways of spiraling down holes that are hard to climb up from. The hilarious part being, these were the holes that he had carefully dug out himself.
Itâs not like you never stopped him, because you did. The minute you realized these new friends were pushing Chanâs limits in the wrong way, you didnât waste a second to tell him.
âI think you should calm down with this partying and stuff. Itâs unbelievably bad for your health,â you had told him one night when he had come home drunk out of his wits.
âI know how to have fun, not my fault you donât!â
The boy had shouted at you before collapsing on the couch. Realizing it was a waste of time to even try and talk to him in this state, you tried again the next day when he was far more sober.
âDo you remember what happened yesterday?â you ask Chan, to which he shakes his still-hungover head and winces. Sighing, you continue, âChan, you canât let them get to you like this. Moderation is the key here. Please donât overdo anything, I beg you!â You hugged him, trying to coax him to understand where you were coming from. He obviously hugged you back and promised you to keep your advice in mind the next time they asked him out.
He didnât. He swears he tried to. But the peer pressure got to him. Before he could even back off, they had already hauled his ass to the bar. He never wanted to disappoint you. So he chose to accept the most coherent plan his drunk mind could formulate: the plan to lie to you.
â
Your seventh anniversary had come and gone a year ago. The only gifts he could provide you that day were a fancy dinner and a solid promise that he would indeed get you the greatest ring you will have ever seen in your whole life. Now the time had come. The time to prove his skills. Those skills he spent an entire year honing.
During this cute date at home, he produced a small wooden box from his pocket. After you had enjoyed the homemade meal he had whipped up for you and you both were cuddling on the balcony, he proposed to you with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart.
He shocked you with the ring. Like your relationship, it was delicate, yet made with lots of love and care. You obviously said yes without hesitation. After all, you loved this man, and he loved you too. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever go wrong if he was with you.
--
It seems that no matter how hard you try, life always seems to have other plans for you.
The month right after you accepted his proposal, you received an invitation for a two-year-long workshop in Germany. Such opportunities donât come every day, so you were elated.
Without wasting any time, you called Chan, informing him about the opportunity you had received. But like every coin, this great opportunity had its drawbacks too.
With the prospect of studying and learning under some of the greatest doctors and nurses came the hardship of leaving your fiancĂŠ behind. Chan didnât like this one bit. He could barely stand to be away from you for a second, let alone two years.
But seeing the excitement on your face and hearing the joy in your voice, he couldnât bring himself to ask you to stay back. He knew you had sacrificed a lot for him, compromised at times when you could have been happy if he hadnât made decisions that ruined his life.
--
So he put on a happy smile and told you that if you didnât take this opportunity, he would pack your bags himself and kick you out of the house. This assurance gave you the confidence you needed. Without wasting any time, you sent an email accepting the proposition to join the workshop.
The next five months passed in a whim. During this time, he had asked you to marry him before you went away, but with a peaceful and determined smile, you had told him, âI will marry you once I come back, like that, we wonât have to spend too much time as newlyweds. Plus, I will be smarter than you too.â
âYou are always smarter than me. I can never surpass you,â was the answer you had received, along with a sweet kiss, making your heart swell like a balloon.
Life was starting to feel better again.
Chan had finally made his boundaries very clear. The boy felt extremely guilty for lying to you, though he never confessed to you about doing so. He made sure his actions proved his redemption. He ensured to let these new friends of his know that going out too much with them was affecting him in ways that he didnât appreciate. Although they did sometimes win against him and force him to go out, it was not as bad as it was before.
â
Soon the day came when you had to fly away to Germany. To say that Chan was sad would be an understatement. He was devastated when he saw you off at the airport with Seungkwan. He had cried the whole way home, making Seungkwan scold him as if he were a baby.
âNow if you keep behaving like this, do you think she would be happy?â the older boy questioned him.
âNo, but I miss her already,â Chan replied in a whisper while wiping his tears harshly.
âBe nice, be happy for her. You can talk to her all the time. Itâs not the Stone Age,â Seungkwan said with an exasperated sigh, making the younger one stop his sad boy antics at once.
But it was not like Chan was okay. He started working overtime at the office, desperately waiting for you to call him when you got free. And call you did, religiously at six oâclock in the evening.
You both made the decision to talk at that time, regardless of any circumstances. This went on for six months. He tried his best to follow the routine of overworking himself before you would call and save him from killing himself with work.
But with all these works, his willpower also started to crumble down. The old ways came back to him. Before he realized it, he became a party animal. He made new friends at these clubs and bars he started frequenting. He thought you wouldnât pick up. But you did. You saw how your boyfriend was slowly changing. It was not that obvious at first, but slowly you realized he was getting drowned with work.
Being the lovely girlfriend you were, you asked Seungkwan to take care of him. The boy tried his best to do so. But alas, he was not that successful.
It seemed to both of you that Chan had spiraled back into his overworking session. What you both were unaware of was that it was more than that.
Chan was not just overworking; he was over-drinking and over partying too.
â
One faithful night; he met Eva, his pottery class instructor. She was pretty. They talked the whole night, catching up like old buddies and having fun.
She brought a change to his life again. She started being there for him during times when he would lose himself. She was a great friend, so great that in no time you had the chance to meet her.
You had come back for a weekâs vacation. Seungkwan thought it was important for all the friends to meet up because it had been a long time since he had seen you. This meeting was supposed to consist of only you, Chan, and Seungkwan. But Chan asked to bring in another friend he would like you to meet. It was Eva.
You liked her; she was nice. You wanted to be friends with her. Her sweet personality was something no one could resist, a great example of a sweetheart through and through.
For once, you were actually proud of your boyfriendâs choices in life. Your visit was over even before it had started. Suddenly, the week was over, and you were packing your bags to return to Germany.
This time, Chan was not as scared of things going downhill anymore. He knew that within a few more months, you would come back, and he could happily start the wedding preparations. He also knew he had a solid group of friends to have his back. Most importantly, he had learned the art of living without you. Not that it was happy, but now he could enjoy spending time by himself.
â
Time flew faster than ever. In no time, it was Chanâs birthday. Your program would finish that same month, so sadly you couldnât visit him. All you could do was video call him that morning and congratulate him for hitting thirty before you, to which he grumpily replied, âYour birthday is in six months; Iâm gonna make it hell for you.â
âWhatever, old man, get dressed. Donât you have a job to go to?â You laughed at his grumpy face while teasing him even more.
âI miss you,â Chan suddenly called out, pouting.
âYou will meet me next month, Channie. Donât be this sad now.â Although that did make him happy, the thought of spending yet another birthday without you was saddening. But itâs not like it was going to last. You would be back in no time.
That thought put a smile on his face. Soon enough, he was skipping around the house cooking breakfast and answering numerous calls from his friends and family for being a thirty-year-old now.
Seungkwan and Eva had also planned a not-so-surprise party for him. It consisted of meeting in front of his office and dragging his ass to the bar to drink and have fun. Although the day was spent slaving away in front of the computer, that night he had a lot of fun. He talked to Seungkwan and Eva for hours, and the three of them were pretty intoxicated when they left.
The only thing he remembered from that night was the fact that Eva, being the one out of the three with the most alcohol tolerance, was the one who had made sure that all of them returned home safely.
There was just one slight problem. Eva started to avoid him. Now, in any other situation, he would not have noticed it, but the text the next morning asking him if he remembered anything from the night before had him confused. When he asked her what it was all about, she refused to answer him, opting to ignore him instead.
He had no recollection of the night before, and Seungkwan didnât either, so it was a mystery to both of them. But then again, his gut told him the problem was bigger than what he thought it was and might come to haunt him if not solved now.
So he did the most sane thing he could think of: He asked her to talk to him about it. He knew the wedding preparations would start the minute you came back, so he wanted to make sure to fix any problem that might affect you both before it blasted out of proportion.
â
âYou kissed me,â was the first thing Eva told him after sitting down, making Chanâs heart drop to his stomach.
âHuh, but I donât remember anything,â Chan retorted.
âItâs not about you remembering or not, it really happened, Chan, and I hate it,â she said, her voice almost breaking.
âHey, calm down. We were both intoxicated, and we didnât do it on purpose. Any other time and we wouldnât have done it,â this seemed to have little to no effect on improving the girlâs mood.
On the other hand, Chanâs blood pressure was rising. The last thing he needed was a big mistake from which he could never turn back. With you coming back from Germany in less than a week, he needed everything in his life to be sorted out, especially something that could jeopardize a relationship with so much love in it.
âChan, I think I like you. Iâm not sure when it happened, or how it did. But I like you. So please donât tell me I wouldnât have done it if we werenât intoxicated.â
The impact of this statement was so immense that it completely shattered his world, leaving him in disarray. It was true that he liked Eva. What kind of feelings he actually held for her was a mystery to him.
So, in the spur of the moment, he kissed her.
Just a few minutes ago, it was bothering him, but once he took the step, he didnât feel what he was supposed to. He didnât feel the disgust and hatred towards himself he should have. It felt like sneaking out of his house when he was not supposed to. It made a rush of excitement run through his body. He could feel the adrenaline rush through him.
He felt alive. maybe it was the feeling of doing something forbidden or it was something else, he didnât know.
But, that night, they did more than kissing.
â
Once you were back, it was all sunshine and rainbows in the first few weeks. You both were happy, spending all your time together and having fun relishing in each otherâs presence.
But it didnât take you long to notice the changes. He would be stuck late at the office but come back home surprisingly lively, or those random texts from his brother late at night asking him to come over, or even the most obvious of them all, the vibrant smell of floral perfume that you never wear.
But you held out. You had promised to give him a chance to explain himself if he came clean to you. But that day never came. You asked him about these odd behaviors, but somehow he would always evade the topic altogether.
All those questions of âwhere were you last nightâ, âwhen will you come homeâ, or âshall we go on a date sometime soonâ, all went unanswered.
He outright ignored your presence at home. But this didnât stop the wedding preparations. Because his siblings and your parents alike loved him, they had taken the responsibility to take care of the wedding plans.
Before he could continue with his little escapades, Seungkwan caught and confronted him. Not by you but by Seungkwan. The older boyâs disappointment was beyond words. He screamed at him for an hour straight and then he had sat Chan down and calmly said,
âEither you tell her or I will.â
âBut I canât; she will leave me if I ever tell her.â
âThen she will be right in doing so.â
âChan, I love you to death, but either you stop this and tell your girlfriend the whole truth, or I will take matters into my own hands. She has put up with enough of your shit. Donât hurt her more,â he had said.
âGive me some time; I will do it as soon as possible,â the younger one had strained out, fisting his hair.
âShe better know about it all before the wedding,â Seungkwan had warned him before seeing himself out.
â
Chan had cut off Eva after that. He tried to change everything before actually marrying you. Then, being the kind person you are, you tried to understand your boyfriend. You really did. But this was the first time in ten years you considered leaving him.
This relationship didnât make you happy anymore. But you had gone through so many troubles together. The effort to hold each other upright was taking a toll on you.
But you were a fighter. You had fought many battles with him by your side. You couldnât give up on those years either. Your internal dilemma was killing you. But all of this came to a halt one day when you had come back from your night shift, only to find your boyfriend and the girl he oh so diligently claimed to be his good friend, talking in the living room.
It was not like they were trying to be quiet because you could hear every single word spoken by them.
âChan, itâs yours.â
âEva, I have a fiancĂŠ. I will never leave her. I already told you, I love her.â
âOh, so you didnât think about that before fucking meâ
âIt was a mistakeâ, Chan shouted.
âNo, it wasnât, we both were very soberâ, came another shout
The conversation hit you like a truck, and with each sentence, you felt your heart shattering. The decision suddenly seemed a bit too easy to make.
You walked out of the chaos, leaving the ring behind on the shoe rack. That night, you stayed at your friendâs place.
Following that event, you called Seungkwan, informing him that you wonât talk to Chan anymore. He simply asked if you wanted any help moving out, to which you answered with a simple no.
That was the end of the relationship for you. You refused to talk or see Chan ever again.
â
Now, five years later, Chan is to be married again. Not with you; no, he missed his chance. It's with Eva. They figured the best way to raise Minhan was to be together. In a county like theirs, it wasnât the best idea to raise a kid with two unmarried parents.
Chan loved Minhan to death. But he could never show the same love for Eva. Looking at her reminded him of the mistakes he made in life. It reminded him of the happiness he could have attained, but he lost due to his own faults.
He is happy Seungkwan is still beside him. He knows he doesnât deserve a friend like him, so the fact that Seungkwan stayed beside him makes him feel grateful.
He knew that his wife and child would move in with him soon, but he didnât have the courage to let them into the house yet. The house that held both your memories was a bit too precious to let go of so easily.
The next day came faster than he anticipated. As Chan stood there waiting for his bride, he saw a face that he had been longing to see for the last five years.
He saw your face, sitting there on the benches, a sad smile adorning your face. Your eyes filled with emotions and stories of the years you had spent together.
Oh, how badly Chan wanted to abandon everything and run to you. Apologize a hundred times and ask you to take him back. But he couldnât; he had children to take care of and shoes to fill.
As he stood there saying his vows, hoping itâs you he saw walking down the aisle and itâs you he kissed, but they are called dreams for a reason. And not all dreams come true.
As he kissed his bride, he saw a glimpse of your teary eyes amongst the crowd, and a tear of his own fell. Wishing for a future he was never destined to have.

the end

Paring: Dino x fem!reader
Requested: no
Genre: angst, fluff
Warning(s): cheating, angst, sadness, mentions of pregnancy (do inform me if there's more)
Summary: You were the light guiding Chan for the most of his life. now that you are not there anymore, he cant help but feel your absence as he reminisces his past and all those times you were there to ground him no matter what.
Word count: 6k
Other works
disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.
special thanks to @spamgyu for helping me out đ
a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask. Moreover, if you loved it, don't forget to reblog and help me reach a wider audience.
[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, donât fill the form otherwise]

Chan's life was determined before he had a chance to consider it. His family wasn't well-off. They struggled from early on to get food on their plates. He knew from when he was a child that he had to support his siblings because his parents refused to do so.
So thatâs exactly what he did. He got into SNU with a full scholarship, secured a good job, and built a stable life with six figures coming in annually to his bank account, providing enough money to support his siblingsâ dreams.
But what did it all get him?
Nothing!
He sacrificed his teens and his twenties because his father felt the need to be a raging alcoholic, and now he stands in the middle of Gangnam in his beautiful flat with its polished floors. But he lacks the most important thing in life: happiness.
To be truthful, he lacks a lot of things, but happiness takes the cake. If someone asks him, he lacks friends too. But our dearest Boo Seungkwan would like to disagree about that. In Chanâs defense, friends are absolutely not equal to friend (just a difference of âsâ, as our dear âKwanieâ said. Plus, his multiple personalities make up for the said lack of âsâ, which further raises the question as to why the man does not go for a checkup, as it seems he has self-diagnosed DID. We shall never know).
Chan is happy about his brothers doing what they like, though. Itâs not that hard to not be happy when he literally raised them. Sacrifices need to be made, he has realized; some just make more than others, and there is nothing one can do about that. He accepts that he is indeed grateful for the friend he has made, the one who has stayed with him and accepted him as he is.
Now, it may sound sappy, and Chan swears he will never tell this to Seungkwan, but he has indeed helped him through the thick and thin of life. All those late-night drinking sessions and ugly crying have brought him to this stage in life where he thinks of the boy as more of a family than anyone else. He helped him when Chanâs life was falling apart, and he also was there to scold him back to the right track when no one believed in him, not even himself.
Although he lacks happiness, he is fine with that (he at least has Boo Seungkwan). He can live with being sad; he already has!
This is where you came in, the reason for Chanâs genuine smiles, from back in college to five years ago. It was a pretty serious relationship that you both had. Chan loved you. He had plans of making you his wife. For Godâs sake, he was in a relationship with you for almost ten years! But somewhere along the way, he messed up. He became the exact thing he had hated all his life.
He became a person like his father.
You, being the nice kind, tried your best to stop him from spiraling down the rabbit hole of bad habits. But alas, it takes two to tango, and if he didnât want to be better, no one, not even God himself, could do it for him.
It took losing you to realize how messed up his life had become.
--
âChan, Iâm heading out. Dinnerâs in the fridgeâplease actually eat it this time. We donât need two meal skippers in this household,â you quipped, watching as Chan chuckled and gave you a quick giggle inducing peck before returned his attention to the document heâd been typing for the past hour.
âSure thing, Your Majesty. Your command shall be dutifully followed!â he exclaimed with a mock salute, drawing out another laugh from you. With a playful ruffle of his hair and another peck on his cheek, you left the apartment to begin your night shift at the hospital.
Chan, unlike you, has just started his new job after completing his MBA. Itâs been tough, but heâs persevered, and soon enough, you both will be able to enjoy the luxuries he could only dream of growing up.
Your fifth anniversary is approaching faster than ever, and now Chan finally has the means to fulfill your dream of a trip to Europe. The pressure of this new job is more than the last one, but getting those tickets would be a walk in the park now.
Quickly finishing his document and mailing it to the head of the department, he immediately goes to check those flight ticket prices and hotel prices. He releases a happy sigh the minute he realizes that itâs exactly what he had expected the prices to be. So, without wasting a single moment, he buys those tickets. He knew this gift would make you happier than ever.
The next month, you had been notified about the expensive purchase only because you had to get a leave from your job, and you obviously canât disappear for two weeks unannounced. He, in reality, had no plans to inform you about anything, but he couldnât interfere with your job either.
But at the end it was worth it, the look on your face the minute you were informed about the trip. Oh, if only Chan could frame it and keep it away from the world, only if he could keep you near him and never let you go. But he didnât think of that then. No, he was happy he had told you earlier.
The happiness radiating off you as you kept going on and on about the clothes you needed to buy, all the foods you were going to try once there. It was what helped him keep going throughout the day, even though the work became tiring with every passing minute.
If only he could have stopped time and lived in that moment forever.
â
One thing he never realized is how demanding his job would be once he got into a higher position. The calls kept him up at night; they came at the most ungodly of times, and Chan was expected to pick them up, because he always did.
You never complained; it was fine by you. If anyone understood him, it was you. Both of you had highly demanding jobs, and nothing could beat the expectations your colleagues had on you both.
But what he had not counted on was those calls interrupting your trip. During the entirety of your anniversary, he was glued to that phone of his, never once able to leave it. It was one problem at the office or the other.
Again, you kept your mouth shut, enjoying your own company as your boyfriend busied himself with work in the hotel room.
That was the last trip you both had gone on. You figured that it was too much to ask from someone who had so much work to do. But still, you understood his hunger to do better in life. You understood that someone had to compromise in the relationship and wholeheartedly accepted that it had to be you.
Coming to think of it, it was not supposed to be like this. Never! Both of you were supposed to communicate and figure out what your relationship was supposed to mean. But somewhere along the line, it just became regular sex and nothing else. When you talked about this with your friends, all of them had the same reaction.
âLeave him!â they had told you, âhe wouldnât change, he prefers his job more than you.â
It was a regular thing now. But you were scared. All the years you had invested in the relationship, you never wanted it to become what it had. You had held out hope that one day Chan would notice you. He would realize he had a girlfriend who also needs his attention as much as his job.
It didnât take too long for those dreams to come true, though.
â
One night, you sat down with the man, asking him about the changes in his life. You begged him to look your way beyond the times he made love to you. It was an intense conversation, filled with words that neither of you actually meant, but hurt you both equally.
That night brought you both another few years, or thatâs what you think. It became better, both your lives and the relationship. You both would talk more, spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and go about your days with lovesick smiles on your faces. Although none of your jobs became less hectic, it still was as painstaking as ever, but the scenery in your shared home was peaceful. It was both of your comfort zones.
What neither of you realized, this peace that you both had brought back into your lives, was fickle. In order to keep it like that, both of you had to put in some effort.
â
It slowly became visible to both of you how much more effort this relation of yours needed. Both of you saw the way your paradise was crumbling down bit by bit. Nights became lonely for you. Chan, being the perfectionist he is, would be stuck up in his office until the rays of sun hit the glass windows, reminding him of the fact that he indeed had stayed the night in his office. The hectic job took everything away from him. It stripped him of his identity, and slowly it was also stripping his happiness and sanity away. It was like the darker times had hit both of you again.
It was then that he suddenly passed out on the streets due to extreme fatigue and was brought immediately into the nearest hospital, which was the one you worked at. Lo and behold, you were the nurse on emergency room duty that day. This was the first time you saw the love of your life in that state; you saw what this new job had done to him. How it had taken this happy and healthy person you knew and turned him into this sick, unhappy, and overworked person. Your helplessness mocked you in your face. At night, you stayed by his side after the doctors had given their verdict about him being too overworked. You took care of him like never before, making sure to make him take an ample amount of rest.
Sadly, the industry is ruthless. As soon as the employers became aware that their once highly valuable employeeâs usefulness had diminished, they ultimately opted to terminate him. Although Chan claims there were some more internal politics involved in this sacking, there was no way he could have evaded it.
Both of you soon realized it was the best thing that could have happened to him. While being the worst experience he could ever go through in his corporate career.
You stayed by his side through every hurdle though. You never once let him feel the need to be more than what he already was. But life was giving both of you a hard time.
It took Chan another month to get a new job. But only this time, it was a better, more important position in a better company. This is when life took off for both of you again. With Chan back on track, equipped with the newfound knowledge of not working more than necessary, he was on a roll. Almost unstoppable.
This change also affected your relationship, but positively this time. Chan and you would go on constant dates and enjoy each otherâs company way more than ever.
â
It was nearing your seventh anniversary. Both of you had talked about getting married and starting a family enough times for him to know this was the perfect time for him to propose.
So, on the day of your seventh anniversary, he had planned to take you to this fancy Italian place. He claimed that you deserved only the best. No one could ever argue with him about that. You, along with Seungkwan, had been by his side for so long that he had forgotten the time when he didnât have you both. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would change that fact. With that it brought him to the most important question of that year.
âBut what ring do I buy her?â the stressed boy asked his best friend.
âWow, I wasnât informed about the fact that y/n suddenly had become my girlfriend!â Seungkwan exclaimed sassily.
âDude, you can calm down. She is still my girl, ainât no way you are getting her. Find a girl of your own,â the shorter boy retorted back.
Why am I being asked about her preference for a ring then, huh?â
âBecause she said, and I quote, âif you buy me an expensive engagement ring that I canât even wear out because it looks too expensive, I will castrate youâ,â Chan said seriously, bringing out a seal-like laugh from the back of Seungkwanâs throat.
âDo something meaningful for her then, you dumb fuck,â making Chan almost cringe at the scolding. Without letting the boy talk, his best friend continued, âPut in some effort and do something that shows you care, without having to spend a copious amount of money. I have no idea what you should do, but bro, if it were up to me, a girl would for sure get a ring no matter what!â
Now, this made him think. It made him think hard. But even after all that thinking, he couldnât come up with a good idea for an alternative for an engagement ring.
It was not until the next Saturday when he was sitting on the couch waiting for you to choose a movie for the weekly movie night, did he stumble upon the perfect idea for a ring? Like any usual person, the man was scrolling through TikTok when he found out that one could make rings out of clay.
Perfect!
If you didnât want a diamond ring, you shall get a clay ring. For you might catch the sun lacking one day, but not Chan, never Chan!
â
This kick-started the learner phase of Chanâs life once again. He would visit the pottery classes every week because he needed to excel at the art to mold the perfect ring. One suitable for daily wear and also because this hobby brought him more peace than ever.
He made some friends here; they were fun to hang out with. You had met all these new people flooding into his life. He would parade about the with his hand on you showing you off proudly.
âWho wouldnât?â he would ask whenever someone pointed it out. This question had the power to make him start ranting about you at any given point. So much so that after a point, people stopped asking him about you, no matter the context.
Because, oh boy, was he in love.
--
It took him one year and some friendships to finally complete learning everything there was to learn about pottery. In the course of that time, he had littered your shared house with his creations.
Oh, you wanted to buy a new bowl because you saw it on Instagram? No fear, Chan shall make it this instant. Oops, your favorite coffee mug broke? Chan has come to your rescue with a better, scientifically cute, usable, and overall better mug for you.
The creative spark of the boy never dimmed down, nor did his extroverted nature. Every other day, he would be out with his new friends, so much so that even Boo Seungkwan noticed. You both had chats with each other about the changes in Chanâs life over a cup of tea whenever Seungkwan would come over.
To say that you both were happy about him enjoying life would be an understatement. You had seen the pain the man had gone through in his life. It only made sense for him to have the best of the best experiences when he had the opportunities.
But again, as people say, one should do everything in moderation. It seems that Chan could do nothing in moderation. He would work himself half to death. In this case too, he started drinking and partying himself half to death. The outings that were done to unwind after a long hard day became parties that were making the day even longer.
The friends that helped him overcome the pressuring environment of his office became the ones who would pressure him to go way out of his comfort zone, all for the wrong reasons. People say twenties are times when people experiment with their life and gain new experiences.
The same was applicable for Chan too, the only difference being he was learning different ways of spiraling down holes that are hard to climb up from. The hilarious part being, these were the holes that he had carefully dug out himself.
Itâs not like you never stopped him, because you did. The minute you realized these new friends were pushing Chanâs limits in the wrong way, you didnât waste a second to tell him.
âI think you should calm down with this partying and stuff. Itâs unbelievably bad for your health,â you had told him one night when he had come home drunk out of his wits.
âI know how to have fun, not my fault you donât!â
The boy had shouted at you before collapsing on the couch. Realizing it was a waste of time to even try and talk to him in this state, you tried again the next day when he was far more sober.
âDo you remember what happened yesterday?â you ask Chan, to which he shakes his still-hungover head and winces. Sighing, you continue, âChan, you canât let them get to you like this. Moderation is the key here. Please donât overdo anything, I beg you!â You hugged him, trying to coax him to understand where you were coming from. He obviously hugged you back and promised you to keep your advice in mind the next time they asked him out.
He didnât. He swears he tried to. But the peer pressure got to him. Before he could even back off, they had already hauled his ass to the bar. He never wanted to disappoint you. So he chose to accept the most coherent plan his drunk mind could formulate: the plan to lie to you.
â
Your seventh anniversary had come and gone a year ago. The only gifts he could provide you that day were a fancy dinner and a solid promise that he would indeed get you the greatest ring you will have ever seen in your whole life. Now the time had come. The time to prove his skills. Those skills he spent an entire year honing.
During this cute date at home, he produced a small wooden box from his pocket. After you had enjoyed the homemade meal he had whipped up for you and you both were cuddling on the balcony, he proposed to you with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart.
He shocked you with the ring. Like your relationship, it was delicate, yet made with lots of love and care. You obviously said yes without hesitation. After all, you loved this man, and he loved you too. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever go wrong if he was with you.
--
It seems that no matter how hard you try, life always seems to have other plans for you.
The month right after you accepted his proposal, you received an invitation for a two-year-long workshop in Germany. Such opportunities donât come every day, so you were elated.
Without wasting any time, you called Chan, informing him about the opportunity you had received. But like every coin, this great opportunity had its drawbacks too.
With the prospect of studying and learning under some of the greatest doctors and nurses came the hardship of leaving your fiancĂŠ behind. Chan didnât like this one bit. He could barely stand to be away from you for a second, let alone two years.
But seeing the excitement on your face and hearing the joy in your voice, he couldnât bring himself to ask you to stay back. He knew you had sacrificed a lot for him, compromised at times when you could have been happy if he hadnât made decisions that ruined his life.
--
So he put on a happy smile and told you that if you didnât take this opportunity, he would pack your bags himself and kick you out of the house. This assurance gave you the confidence you needed. Without wasting any time, you sent an email accepting the proposition to join the workshop.
The next five months passed in a whim. During this time, he had asked you to marry him before you went away, but with a peaceful and determined smile, you had told him, âI will marry you once I come back, like that, we wonât have to spend too much time as newlyweds. Plus, I will be smarter than you too.â
âYou are always smarter than me. I can never surpass you,â was the answer you had received, along with a sweet kiss, making your heart swell like a balloon.
Life was starting to feel better again.
Chan had finally made his boundaries very clear. The boy felt extremely guilty for lying to you, though he never confessed to you about doing so. He made sure his actions proved his redemption. He ensured to let these new friends of his know that going out too much with them was affecting him in ways that he didnât appreciate. Although they did sometimes win against him and force him to go out, it was not as bad as it was before.
â
Soon the day came when you had to fly away to Germany. To say that Chan was sad would be an understatement. He was devastated when he saw you off at the airport with Seungkwan. He had cried the whole way home, making Seungkwan scold him as if he were a baby.
âNow if you keep behaving like this, do you think she would be happy?â the older boy questioned him.
âNo, but I miss her already,â Chan replied in a whisper while wiping his tears harshly.
âBe nice, be happy for her. You can talk to her all the time. Itâs not the Stone Age,â Seungkwan said with an exasperated sigh, making the younger one stop his sad boy antics at once.
But it was not like Chan was okay. He started working overtime at the office, desperately waiting for you to call him when you got free. And call you did, religiously at six oâclock in the evening.
You both made the decision to talk at that time, regardless of any circumstances. This went on for six months. He tried his best to follow the routine of overworking himself before you would call and save him from killing himself with work.
But with all these works, his willpower also started to crumble down. The old ways came back to him. Before he realized it, he became a party animal. He made new friends at these clubs and bars he started frequenting. He thought you wouldnât pick up. But you did. You saw how your boyfriend was slowly changing. It was not that obvious at first, but slowly you realized he was getting drowned with work.
Being the lovely girlfriend you were, you asked Seungkwan to take care of him. The boy tried his best to do so. But alas, he was not that successful.
It seemed to both of you that Chan had spiraled back into his overworking session. What you both were unaware of was that it was more than that.
Chan was not just overworking; he was over-drinking and over partying too.
â
One faithful night; he met Eva, his pottery class instructor. She was pretty. They talked the whole night, catching up like old buddies and having fun.
She brought a change to his life again. She started being there for him during times when he would lose himself. She was a great friend, so great that in no time you had the chance to meet her.
You had come back for a weekâs vacation. Seungkwan thought it was important for all the friends to meet up because it had been a long time since he had seen you. This meeting was supposed to consist of only you, Chan, and Seungkwan. But Chan asked to bring in another friend he would like you to meet. It was Eva.
You liked her; she was nice. You wanted to be friends with her. Her sweet personality was something no one could resist, a great example of a sweetheart through and through.
For once, you were actually proud of your boyfriendâs choices in life. Your visit was over even before it had started. Suddenly, the week was over, and you were packing your bags to return to Germany.
This time, Chan was not as scared of things going downhill anymore. He knew that within a few more months, you would come back, and he could happily start the wedding preparations. He also knew he had a solid group of friends to have his back. Most importantly, he had learned the art of living without you. Not that it was happy, but now he could enjoy spending time by himself.
â
Time flew faster than ever. In no time, it was Chanâs birthday. Your program would finish that same month, so sadly you couldnât visit him. All you could do was video call him that morning and congratulate him for hitting thirty before you, to which he grumpily replied, âYour birthday is in six months; Iâm gonna make it hell for you.â
âWhatever, old man, get dressed. Donât you have a job to go to?â You laughed at his grumpy face while teasing him even more.
âI miss you,â Chan suddenly called out, pouting.
âYou will meet me next month, Channie. Donât be this sad now.â Although that did make him happy, the thought of spending yet another birthday without you was saddening. But itâs not like it was going to last. You would be back in no time.
That thought put a smile on his face. Soon enough, he was skipping around the house cooking breakfast and answering numerous calls from his friends and family for being a thirty-year-old now.
Seungkwan and Eva had also planned a not-so-surprise party for him. It consisted of meeting in front of his office and dragging his ass to the bar to drink and have fun. Although the day was spent slaving away in front of the computer, that night he had a lot of fun. He talked to Seungkwan and Eva for hours, and the three of them were pretty intoxicated when they left.
The only thing he remembered from that night was the fact that Eva, being the one out of the three with the most alcohol tolerance, was the one who had made sure that all of them returned home safely.
There was just one slight problem. Eva started to avoid him. Now, in any other situation, he would not have noticed it, but the text the next morning asking him if he remembered anything from the night before had him confused. When he asked her what it was all about, she refused to answer him, opting to ignore him instead.
He had no recollection of the night before, and Seungkwan didnât either, so it was a mystery to both of them. But then again, his gut told him the problem was bigger than what he thought it was and might come to haunt him if not solved now.
So he did the most sane thing he could think of: He asked her to talk to him about it. He knew the wedding preparations would start the minute you came back, so he wanted to make sure to fix any problem that might affect you both before it blasted out of proportion.
â
âYou kissed me,â was the first thing Eva told him after sitting down, making Chanâs heart drop to his stomach.
âHuh, but I donât remember anything,â Chan retorted.
âItâs not about you remembering or not, it really happened, Chan, and I hate it,â she said, her voice almost breaking.
âHey, calm down. We were both intoxicated, and we didnât do it on purpose. Any other time and we wouldnât have done it,â this seemed to have little to no effect on improving the girlâs mood.
On the other hand, Chanâs blood pressure was rising. The last thing he needed was a big mistake from which he could never turn back. With you coming back from Germany in less than a week, he needed everything in his life to be sorted out, especially something that could jeopardize a relationship with so much love in it.
âChan, I think I like you. Iâm not sure when it happened, or how it did. But I like you. So please donât tell me I wouldnât have done it if we werenât intoxicated.â
The impact of this statement was so immense that it completely shattered his world, leaving him in disarray. It was true that he liked Eva. What kind of feelings he actually held for her was a mystery to him.
So, in the spur of the moment, he kissed her.
Just a few minutes ago, it was bothering him, but once he took the step, he didnât feel what he was supposed to. He didnât feel the disgust and hatred towards himself he should have. It felt like sneaking out of his house when he was not supposed to. It made a rush of excitement run through his body. He could feel the adrenaline rush through him.
He felt alive. maybe it was the feeling of doing something forbidden or it was something else, he didnât know.
But, that night, they did more than kissing.
â
Once you were back, it was all sunshine and rainbows in the first few weeks. You both were happy, spending all your time together and having fun relishing in each otherâs presence.
But it didnât take you long to notice the changes. He would be stuck late at the office but come back home surprisingly lively, or those random texts from his brother late at night asking him to come over, or even the most obvious of them all, the vibrant smell of floral perfume that you never wear.
But you held out. You had promised to give him a chance to explain himself if he came clean to you. But that day never came. You asked him about these odd behaviors, but somehow he would always evade the topic altogether.
All those questions of âwhere were you last nightâ, âwhen will you come homeâ, or âshall we go on a date sometime soonâ, all went unanswered.
He outright ignored your presence at home. But this didnât stop the wedding preparations. Because his siblings and your parents alike loved him, they had taken the responsibility to take care of the wedding plans.
Before he could continue with his little escapades, Seungkwan caught and confronted him. Not by you but by Seungkwan. The older boyâs disappointment was beyond words. He screamed at him for an hour straight and then he had sat Chan down and calmly said,
âEither you tell her or I will.â
âBut I canât; she will leave me if I ever tell her.â
âThen she will be right in doing so.â
âChan, I love you to death, but either you stop this and tell your girlfriend the whole truth, or I will take matters into my own hands. She has put up with enough of your shit. Donât hurt her more,â he had said.
âGive me some time; I will do it as soon as possible,â the younger one had strained out, fisting his hair.
âShe better know about it all before the wedding,â Seungkwan had warned him before seeing himself out.
â
Chan had cut off Eva after that. He tried to change everything before actually marrying you. Then, being the kind person you are, you tried to understand your boyfriend. You really did. But this was the first time in ten years you considered leaving him.
This relationship didnât make you happy anymore. But you had gone through so many troubles together. The effort to hold each other upright was taking a toll on you.
But you were a fighter. You had fought many battles with him by your side. You couldnât give up on those years either. Your internal dilemma was killing you. But all of this came to a halt one day when you had come back from your night shift, only to find your boyfriend and the girl he oh so diligently claimed to be his good friend, talking in the living room.
It was not like they were trying to be quiet because you could hear every single word spoken by them.
âChan, itâs yours.â
âEva, I have a fiancĂŠ. I will never leave her. I already told you, I love her.â
âOh, so you didnât think about that before fucking meâ
âIt was a mistakeâ, Chan shouted.
âNo, it wasnât, we both were very soberâ, came another shout
The conversation hit you like a truck, and with each sentence, you felt your heart shattering. The decision suddenly seemed a bit too easy to make.
You walked out of the chaos, leaving the ring behind on the shoe rack. That night, you stayed at your friendâs place.
Following that event, you called Seungkwan, informing him that you wonât talk to Chan anymore. He simply asked if you wanted any help moving out, to which you answered with a simple no.
That was the end of the relationship for you. You refused to talk or see Chan ever again.
â
Now, five years later, Chan is to be married again. Not with you; no, he missed his chance. It's with Eva. They figured the best way to raise Minhan was to be together. In a county like theirs, it wasnât the best idea to raise a kid with two unmarried parents.
Chan loved Minhan to death. But he could never show the same love for Eva. Looking at her reminded him of the mistakes he made in life. It reminded him of the happiness he could have attained, but he lost due to his own faults.
He is happy Seungkwan is still beside him. He knows he doesnât deserve a friend like him, so the fact that Seungkwan stayed beside him makes him feel grateful.
He knew that his wife and child would move in with him soon, but he didnât have the courage to let them into the house yet. The house that held both your memories was a bit too precious to let go of so easily.
The next day came faster than he anticipated. As Chan stood there waiting for his bride, he saw a face that he had been longing to see for the last five years.
He saw your face, sitting there on the benches, a sad smile adorning your face. Your eyes filled with emotions and stories of the years you had spent together.
Oh, how badly Chan wanted to abandon everything and run to you. Apologize a hundred times and ask you to take him back. But he couldnât; he had children to take care of and shoes to fill.
As he stood there saying his vows, hoping itâs you he saw walking down the aisle and itâs you he kissed, but they are called dreams for a reason. And not all dreams come true.
As he kissed his bride, he saw a glimpse of your teary eyes amongst the crowd, and a tear of his own fell. Wishing for a future he was never destined to have.

the end

Paring: Dino x fem!reader
Requested: no
Genre: angst, fluff
Warning(s): cheating, angst, sadness, mentions of pregnancy (do inform me if there's more)
Summary: You were the light guiding Chan for the most of his life. now that you are not there anymore, he cant help but feel your absence as he reminisces his past and all those times you were there to ground him no matter what.
Word count: 6k
Other works
disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.
special thanks to @spamgyu for helping me out đ
a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask. Moreover, if you loved it, don't forget to reblog and help me reach a wider audience.
[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, donât fill the form otherwise]

Chan's life was determined before he had a chance to consider it. His family wasn't well-off. They struggled from early on to get food on their plates. He knew from when he was a child that he had to support his siblings because his parents refused to do so.
So thatâs exactly what he did. He got into SNU with a full scholarship, secured a good job, and built a stable life with six figures coming in annually to his bank account, providing enough money to support his siblingsâ dreams.
But what did it all get him?
Nothing!
He sacrificed his teens and his twenties because his father felt the need to be a raging alcoholic, and now he stands in the middle of Gangnam in his beautiful flat with its polished floors. But he lacks the most important thing in life: happiness.
To be truthful, he lacks a lot of things, but happiness takes the cake. If someone asks him, he lacks friends too. But our dearest Boo Seungkwan would like to disagree about that. In Chanâs defense, friends are absolutely not equal to friend (just a difference of âsâ, as our dear âKwanieâ said. Plus, his multiple personalities make up for the said lack of âsâ, which further raises the question as to why the man does not go for a checkup, as it seems he has self-diagnosed DID. We shall never know).
Chan is happy about his brothers doing what they like, though. Itâs not that hard to not be happy when he literally raised them. Sacrifices need to be made, he has realized; some just make more than others, and there is nothing one can do about that. He accepts that he is indeed grateful for the friend he has made, the one who has stayed with him and accepted him as he is.
Now, it may sound sappy, and Chan swears he will never tell this to Seungkwan, but he has indeed helped him through the thick and thin of life. All those late-night drinking sessions and ugly crying have brought him to this stage in life where he thinks of the boy as more of a family than anyone else. He helped him when Chanâs life was falling apart, and he also was there to scold him back to the right track when no one believed in him, not even himself.
Although he lacks happiness, he is fine with that (he at least has Boo Seungkwan). He can live with being sad; he already has!
This is where you came in, the reason for Chanâs genuine smiles, from back in college to five years ago. It was a pretty serious relationship that you both had. Chan loved you. He had plans of making you his wife. For Godâs sake, he was in a relationship with you for almost ten years! But somewhere along the way, he messed up. He became the exact thing he had hated all his life.
He became a person like his father.
You, being the nice kind, tried your best to stop him from spiraling down the rabbit hole of bad habits. But alas, it takes two to tango, and if he didnât want to be better, no one, not even God himself, could do it for him.
It took losing you to realize how messed up his life had become.
--
âChan, Iâm heading out. Dinnerâs in the fridgeâplease actually eat it this time. We donât need two meal skippers in this household,â you quipped, watching as Chan chuckled and gave you a quick giggle inducing peck before returned his attention to the document heâd been typing for the past hour.
âSure thing, Your Majesty. Your command shall be dutifully followed!â he exclaimed with a mock salute, drawing out another laugh from you. With a playful ruffle of his hair and another peck on his cheek, you left the apartment to begin your night shift at the hospital.
Chan, unlike you, has just started his new job after completing his MBA. Itâs been tough, but heâs persevered, and soon enough, you both will be able to enjoy the luxuries he could only dream of growing up.
Your fifth anniversary is approaching faster than ever, and now Chan finally has the means to fulfill your dream of a trip to Europe. The pressure of this new job is more than the last one, but getting those tickets would be a walk in the park now.
Quickly finishing his document and mailing it to the head of the department, he immediately goes to check those flight ticket prices and hotel prices. He releases a happy sigh the minute he realizes that itâs exactly what he had expected the prices to be. So, without wasting a single moment, he buys those tickets. He knew this gift would make you happier than ever.
The next month, you had been notified about the expensive purchase only because you had to get a leave from your job, and you obviously canât disappear for two weeks unannounced. He, in reality, had no plans to inform you about anything, but he couldnât interfere with your job either.
But at the end it was worth it, the look on your face the minute you were informed about the trip. Oh, if only Chan could frame it and keep it away from the world, only if he could keep you near him and never let you go. But he didnât think of that then. No, he was happy he had told you earlier.
The happiness radiating off you as you kept going on and on about the clothes you needed to buy, all the foods you were going to try once there. It was what helped him keep going throughout the day, even though the work became tiring with every passing minute.
If only he could have stopped time and lived in that moment forever.
â
One thing he never realized is how demanding his job would be once he got into a higher position. The calls kept him up at night; they came at the most ungodly of times, and Chan was expected to pick them up, because he always did.
You never complained; it was fine by you. If anyone understood him, it was you. Both of you had highly demanding jobs, and nothing could beat the expectations your colleagues had on you both.
But what he had not counted on was those calls interrupting your trip. During the entirety of your anniversary, he was glued to that phone of his, never once able to leave it. It was one problem at the office or the other.
Again, you kept your mouth shut, enjoying your own company as your boyfriend busied himself with work in the hotel room.
That was the last trip you both had gone on. You figured that it was too much to ask from someone who had so much work to do. But still, you understood his hunger to do better in life. You understood that someone had to compromise in the relationship and wholeheartedly accepted that it had to be you.
Coming to think of it, it was not supposed to be like this. Never! Both of you were supposed to communicate and figure out what your relationship was supposed to mean. But somewhere along the line, it just became regular sex and nothing else. When you talked about this with your friends, all of them had the same reaction.
âLeave him!â they had told you, âhe wouldnât change, he prefers his job more than you.â
It was a regular thing now. But you were scared. All the years you had invested in the relationship, you never wanted it to become what it had. You had held out hope that one day Chan would notice you. He would realize he had a girlfriend who also needs his attention as much as his job.
It didnât take too long for those dreams to come true, though.
â
One night, you sat down with the man, asking him about the changes in his life. You begged him to look your way beyond the times he made love to you. It was an intense conversation, filled with words that neither of you actually meant, but hurt you both equally.
That night brought you both another few years, or thatâs what you think. It became better, both your lives and the relationship. You both would talk more, spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and go about your days with lovesick smiles on your faces. Although none of your jobs became less hectic, it still was as painstaking as ever, but the scenery in your shared home was peaceful. It was both of your comfort zones.
What neither of you realized, this peace that you both had brought back into your lives, was fickle. In order to keep it like that, both of you had to put in some effort.
â
It slowly became visible to both of you how much more effort this relation of yours needed. Both of you saw the way your paradise was crumbling down bit by bit. Nights became lonely for you. Chan, being the perfectionist he is, would be stuck up in his office until the rays of sun hit the glass windows, reminding him of the fact that he indeed had stayed the night in his office. The hectic job took everything away from him. It stripped him of his identity, and slowly it was also stripping his happiness and sanity away. It was like the darker times had hit both of you again.
It was then that he suddenly passed out on the streets due to extreme fatigue and was brought immediately into the nearest hospital, which was the one you worked at. Lo and behold, you were the nurse on emergency room duty that day. This was the first time you saw the love of your life in that state; you saw what this new job had done to him. How it had taken this happy and healthy person you knew and turned him into this sick, unhappy, and overworked person. Your helplessness mocked you in your face. At night, you stayed by his side after the doctors had given their verdict about him being too overworked. You took care of him like never before, making sure to make him take an ample amount of rest.
Sadly, the industry is ruthless. As soon as the employers became aware that their once highly valuable employeeâs usefulness had diminished, they ultimately opted to terminate him. Although Chan claims there were some more internal politics involved in this sacking, there was no way he could have evaded it.
Both of you soon realized it was the best thing that could have happened to him. While being the worst experience he could ever go through in his corporate career.
You stayed by his side through every hurdle though. You never once let him feel the need to be more than what he already was. But life was giving both of you a hard time.
It took Chan another month to get a new job. But only this time, it was a better, more important position in a better company. This is when life took off for both of you again. With Chan back on track, equipped with the newfound knowledge of not working more than necessary, he was on a roll. Almost unstoppable.
This change also affected your relationship, but positively this time. Chan and you would go on constant dates and enjoy each otherâs company way more than ever.
â
It was nearing your seventh anniversary. Both of you had talked about getting married and starting a family enough times for him to know this was the perfect time for him to propose.
So, on the day of your seventh anniversary, he had planned to take you to this fancy Italian place. He claimed that you deserved only the best. No one could ever argue with him about that. You, along with Seungkwan, had been by his side for so long that he had forgotten the time when he didnât have you both. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would change that fact. With that it brought him to the most important question of that year.
âBut what ring do I buy her?â the stressed boy asked his best friend.
âWow, I wasnât informed about the fact that y/n suddenly had become my girlfriend!â Seungkwan exclaimed sassily.
âDude, you can calm down. She is still my girl, ainât no way you are getting her. Find a girl of your own,â the shorter boy retorted back.
Why am I being asked about her preference for a ring then, huh?â
âBecause she said, and I quote, âif you buy me an expensive engagement ring that I canât even wear out because it looks too expensive, I will castrate youâ,â Chan said seriously, bringing out a seal-like laugh from the back of Seungkwanâs throat.
âDo something meaningful for her then, you dumb fuck,â making Chan almost cringe at the scolding. Without letting the boy talk, his best friend continued, âPut in some effort and do something that shows you care, without having to spend a copious amount of money. I have no idea what you should do, but bro, if it were up to me, a girl would for sure get a ring no matter what!â
Now, this made him think. It made him think hard. But even after all that thinking, he couldnât come up with a good idea for an alternative for an engagement ring.
It was not until the next Saturday when he was sitting on the couch waiting for you to choose a movie for the weekly movie night, did he stumble upon the perfect idea for a ring? Like any usual person, the man was scrolling through TikTok when he found out that one could make rings out of clay.
Perfect!
If you didnât want a diamond ring, you shall get a clay ring. For you might catch the sun lacking one day, but not Chan, never Chan!
â
This kick-started the learner phase of Chanâs life once again. He would visit the pottery classes every week because he needed to excel at the art to mold the perfect ring. One suitable for daily wear and also because this hobby brought him more peace than ever.
He made some friends here; they were fun to hang out with. You had met all these new people flooding into his life. He would parade about the with his hand on you showing you off proudly.
âWho wouldnât?â he would ask whenever someone pointed it out. This question had the power to make him start ranting about you at any given point. So much so that after a point, people stopped asking him about you, no matter the context.
Because, oh boy, was he in love.
--
It took him one year and some friendships to finally complete learning everything there was to learn about pottery. In the course of that time, he had littered your shared house with his creations.
Oh, you wanted to buy a new bowl because you saw it on Instagram? No fear, Chan shall make it this instant. Oops, your favorite coffee mug broke? Chan has come to your rescue with a better, scientifically cute, usable, and overall better mug for you.
The creative spark of the boy never dimmed down, nor did his extroverted nature. Every other day, he would be out with his new friends, so much so that even Boo Seungkwan noticed. You both had chats with each other about the changes in Chanâs life over a cup of tea whenever Seungkwan would come over.
To say that you both were happy about him enjoying life would be an understatement. You had seen the pain the man had gone through in his life. It only made sense for him to have the best of the best experiences when he had the opportunities.
But again, as people say, one should do everything in moderation. It seems that Chan could do nothing in moderation. He would work himself half to death. In this case too, he started drinking and partying himself half to death. The outings that were done to unwind after a long hard day became parties that were making the day even longer.
The friends that helped him overcome the pressuring environment of his office became the ones who would pressure him to go way out of his comfort zone, all for the wrong reasons. People say twenties are times when people experiment with their life and gain new experiences.
The same was applicable for Chan too, the only difference being he was learning different ways of spiraling down holes that are hard to climb up from. The hilarious part being, these were the holes that he had carefully dug out himself.
Itâs not like you never stopped him, because you did. The minute you realized these new friends were pushing Chanâs limits in the wrong way, you didnât waste a second to tell him.
âI think you should calm down with this partying and stuff. Itâs unbelievably bad for your health,â you had told him one night when he had come home drunk out of his wits.
âI know how to have fun, not my fault you donât!â
The boy had shouted at you before collapsing on the couch. Realizing it was a waste of time to even try and talk to him in this state, you tried again the next day when he was far more sober.
âDo you remember what happened yesterday?â you ask Chan, to which he shakes his still-hungover head and winces. Sighing, you continue, âChan, you canât let them get to you like this. Moderation is the key here. Please donât overdo anything, I beg you!â You hugged him, trying to coax him to understand where you were coming from. He obviously hugged you back and promised you to keep your advice in mind the next time they asked him out.
He didnât. He swears he tried to. But the peer pressure got to him. Before he could even back off, they had already hauled his ass to the bar. He never wanted to disappoint you. So he chose to accept the most coherent plan his drunk mind could formulate: the plan to lie to you.
â
Your seventh anniversary had come and gone a year ago. The only gifts he could provide you that day were a fancy dinner and a solid promise that he would indeed get you the greatest ring you will have ever seen in your whole life. Now the time had come. The time to prove his skills. Those skills he spent an entire year honing.
During this cute date at home, he produced a small wooden box from his pocket. After you had enjoyed the homemade meal he had whipped up for you and you both were cuddling on the balcony, he proposed to you with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart.
He shocked you with the ring. Like your relationship, it was delicate, yet made with lots of love and care. You obviously said yes without hesitation. After all, you loved this man, and he loved you too. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever go wrong if he was with you.
--
It seems that no matter how hard you try, life always seems to have other plans for you.
The month right after you accepted his proposal, you received an invitation for a two-year-long workshop in Germany. Such opportunities donât come every day, so you were elated.
Without wasting any time, you called Chan, informing him about the opportunity you had received. But like every coin, this great opportunity had its drawbacks too.
With the prospect of studying and learning under some of the greatest doctors and nurses came the hardship of leaving your fiancĂŠ behind. Chan didnât like this one bit. He could barely stand to be away from you for a second, let alone two years.
But seeing the excitement on your face and hearing the joy in your voice, he couldnât bring himself to ask you to stay back. He knew you had sacrificed a lot for him, compromised at times when you could have been happy if he hadnât made decisions that ruined his life.
--
So he put on a happy smile and told you that if you didnât take this opportunity, he would pack your bags himself and kick you out of the house. This assurance gave you the confidence you needed. Without wasting any time, you sent an email accepting the proposition to join the workshop.
The next five months passed in a whim. During this time, he had asked you to marry him before you went away, but with a peaceful and determined smile, you had told him, âI will marry you once I come back, like that, we wonât have to spend too much time as newlyweds. Plus, I will be smarter than you too.â
âYou are always smarter than me. I can never surpass you,â was the answer you had received, along with a sweet kiss, making your heart swell like a balloon.
Life was starting to feel better again.
Chan had finally made his boundaries very clear. The boy felt extremely guilty for lying to you, though he never confessed to you about doing so. He made sure his actions proved his redemption. He ensured to let these new friends of his know that going out too much with them was affecting him in ways that he didnât appreciate. Although they did sometimes win against him and force him to go out, it was not as bad as it was before.
â
Soon the day came when you had to fly away to Germany. To say that Chan was sad would be an understatement. He was devastated when he saw you off at the airport with Seungkwan. He had cried the whole way home, making Seungkwan scold him as if he were a baby.
âNow if you keep behaving like this, do you think she would be happy?â the older boy questioned him.
âNo, but I miss her already,â Chan replied in a whisper while wiping his tears harshly.
âBe nice, be happy for her. You can talk to her all the time. Itâs not the Stone Age,â Seungkwan said with an exasperated sigh, making the younger one stop his sad boy antics at once.
But it was not like Chan was okay. He started working overtime at the office, desperately waiting for you to call him when you got free. And call you did, religiously at six oâclock in the evening.
You both made the decision to talk at that time, regardless of any circumstances. This went on for six months. He tried his best to follow the routine of overworking himself before you would call and save him from killing himself with work.
But with all these works, his willpower also started to crumble down. The old ways came back to him. Before he realized it, he became a party animal. He made new friends at these clubs and bars he started frequenting. He thought you wouldnât pick up. But you did. You saw how your boyfriend was slowly changing. It was not that obvious at first, but slowly you realized he was getting drowned with work.
Being the lovely girlfriend you were, you asked Seungkwan to take care of him. The boy tried his best to do so. But alas, he was not that successful.
It seemed to both of you that Chan had spiraled back into his overworking session. What you both were unaware of was that it was more than that.
Chan was not just overworking; he was over-drinking and over partying too.
â
One faithful night; he met Eva, his pottery class instructor. She was pretty. They talked the whole night, catching up like old buddies and having fun.
She brought a change to his life again. She started being there for him during times when he would lose himself. She was a great friend, so great that in no time you had the chance to meet her.
You had come back for a weekâs vacation. Seungkwan thought it was important for all the friends to meet up because it had been a long time since he had seen you. This meeting was supposed to consist of only you, Chan, and Seungkwan. But Chan asked to bring in another friend he would like you to meet. It was Eva.
You liked her; she was nice. You wanted to be friends with her. Her sweet personality was something no one could resist, a great example of a sweetheart through and through.
For once, you were actually proud of your boyfriendâs choices in life. Your visit was over even before it had started. Suddenly, the week was over, and you were packing your bags to return to Germany.
This time, Chan was not as scared of things going downhill anymore. He knew that within a few more months, you would come back, and he could happily start the wedding preparations. He also knew he had a solid group of friends to have his back. Most importantly, he had learned the art of living without you. Not that it was happy, but now he could enjoy spending time by himself.
â
Time flew faster than ever. In no time, it was Chanâs birthday. Your program would finish that same month, so sadly you couldnât visit him. All you could do was video call him that morning and congratulate him for hitting thirty before you, to which he grumpily replied, âYour birthday is in six months; Iâm gonna make it hell for you.â
âWhatever, old man, get dressed. Donât you have a job to go to?â You laughed at his grumpy face while teasing him even more.
âI miss you,â Chan suddenly called out, pouting.
âYou will meet me next month, Channie. Donât be this sad now.â Although that did make him happy, the thought of spending yet another birthday without you was saddening. But itâs not like it was going to last. You would be back in no time.
That thought put a smile on his face. Soon enough, he was skipping around the house cooking breakfast and answering numerous calls from his friends and family for being a thirty-year-old now.
Seungkwan and Eva had also planned a not-so-surprise party for him. It consisted of meeting in front of his office and dragging his ass to the bar to drink and have fun. Although the day was spent slaving away in front of the computer, that night he had a lot of fun. He talked to Seungkwan and Eva for hours, and the three of them were pretty intoxicated when they left.
The only thing he remembered from that night was the fact that Eva, being the one out of the three with the most alcohol tolerance, was the one who had made sure that all of them returned home safely.
There was just one slight problem. Eva started to avoid him. Now, in any other situation, he would not have noticed it, but the text the next morning asking him if he remembered anything from the night before had him confused. When he asked her what it was all about, she refused to answer him, opting to ignore him instead.
He had no recollection of the night before, and Seungkwan didnât either, so it was a mystery to both of them. But then again, his gut told him the problem was bigger than what he thought it was and might come to haunt him if not solved now.
So he did the most sane thing he could think of: He asked her to talk to him about it. He knew the wedding preparations would start the minute you came back, so he wanted to make sure to fix any problem that might affect you both before it blasted out of proportion.
â
âYou kissed me,â was the first thing Eva told him after sitting down, making Chanâs heart drop to his stomach.
âHuh, but I donât remember anything,â Chan retorted.
âItâs not about you remembering or not, it really happened, Chan, and I hate it,â she said, her voice almost breaking.
âHey, calm down. We were both intoxicated, and we didnât do it on purpose. Any other time and we wouldnât have done it,â this seemed to have little to no effect on improving the girlâs mood.
On the other hand, Chanâs blood pressure was rising. The last thing he needed was a big mistake from which he could never turn back. With you coming back from Germany in less than a week, he needed everything in his life to be sorted out, especially something that could jeopardize a relationship with so much love in it.
âChan, I think I like you. Iâm not sure when it happened, or how it did. But I like you. So please donât tell me I wouldnât have done it if we werenât intoxicated.â
The impact of this statement was so immense that it completely shattered his world, leaving him in disarray. It was true that he liked Eva. What kind of feelings he actually held for her was a mystery to him.
So, in the spur of the moment, he kissed her.
Just a few minutes ago, it was bothering him, but once he took the step, he didnât feel what he was supposed to. He didnât feel the disgust and hatred towards himself he should have. It felt like sneaking out of his house when he was not supposed to. It made a rush of excitement run through his body. He could feel the adrenaline rush through him.
He felt alive. maybe it was the feeling of doing something forbidden or it was something else, he didnât know.
But, that night, they did more than kissing.
â
Once you were back, it was all sunshine and rainbows in the first few weeks. You both were happy, spending all your time together and having fun relishing in each otherâs presence.
But it didnât take you long to notice the changes. He would be stuck late at the office but come back home surprisingly lively, or those random texts from his brother late at night asking him to come over, or even the most obvious of them all, the vibrant smell of floral perfume that you never wear.
But you held out. You had promised to give him a chance to explain himself if he came clean to you. But that day never came. You asked him about these odd behaviors, but somehow he would always evade the topic altogether.
All those questions of âwhere were you last nightâ, âwhen will you come homeâ, or âshall we go on a date sometime soonâ, all went unanswered.
He outright ignored your presence at home. But this didnât stop the wedding preparations. Because his siblings and your parents alike loved him, they had taken the responsibility to take care of the wedding plans.
Before he could continue with his little escapades, Seungkwan caught and confronted him. Not by you but by Seungkwan. The older boyâs disappointment was beyond words. He screamed at him for an hour straight and then he had sat Chan down and calmly said,
âEither you tell her or I will.â
âBut I canât; she will leave me if I ever tell her.â
âThen she will be right in doing so.â
âChan, I love you to death, but either you stop this and tell your girlfriend the whole truth, or I will take matters into my own hands. She has put up with enough of your shit. Donât hurt her more,â he had said.
âGive me some time; I will do it as soon as possible,â the younger one had strained out, fisting his hair.
âShe better know about it all before the wedding,â Seungkwan had warned him before seeing himself out.
â
Chan had cut off Eva after that. He tried to change everything before actually marrying you. Then, being the kind person you are, you tried to understand your boyfriend. You really did. But this was the first time in ten years you considered leaving him.
This relationship didnât make you happy anymore. But you had gone through so many troubles together. The effort to hold each other upright was taking a toll on you.
But you were a fighter. You had fought many battles with him by your side. You couldnât give up on those years either. Your internal dilemma was killing you. But all of this came to a halt one day when you had come back from your night shift, only to find your boyfriend and the girl he oh so diligently claimed to be his good friend, talking in the living room.
It was not like they were trying to be quiet because you could hear every single word spoken by them.
âChan, itâs yours.â
âEva, I have a fiancĂŠ. I will never leave her. I already told you, I love her.â
âOh, so you didnât think about that before fucking meâ
âIt was a mistakeâ, Chan shouted.
âNo, it wasnât, we both were very soberâ, came another shout
The conversation hit you like a truck, and with each sentence, you felt your heart shattering. The decision suddenly seemed a bit too easy to make.
You walked out of the chaos, leaving the ring behind on the shoe rack. That night, you stayed at your friendâs place.
Following that event, you called Seungkwan, informing him that you wonât talk to Chan anymore. He simply asked if you wanted any help moving out, to which you answered with a simple no.
That was the end of the relationship for you. You refused to talk or see Chan ever again.
â
Now, five years later, Chan is to be married again. Not with you; no, he missed his chance. It's with Eva. They figured the best way to raise Minhan was to be together. In a county like theirs, it wasnât the best idea to raise a kid with two unmarried parents.
Chan loved Minhan to death. But he could never show the same love for Eva. Looking at her reminded him of the mistakes he made in life. It reminded him of the happiness he could have attained, but he lost due to his own faults.
He is happy Seungkwan is still beside him. He knows he doesnât deserve a friend like him, so the fact that Seungkwan stayed beside him makes him feel grateful.
He knew that his wife and child would move in with him soon, but he didnât have the courage to let them into the house yet. The house that held both your memories was a bit too precious to let go of so easily.
The next day came faster than he anticipated. As Chan stood there waiting for his bride, he saw a face that he had been longing to see for the last five years.
He saw your face, sitting there on the benches, a sad smile adorning your face. Your eyes filled with emotions and stories of the years you had spent together.
Oh, how badly Chan wanted to abandon everything and run to you. Apologize a hundred times and ask you to take him back. But he couldnât; he had children to take care of and shoes to fill.
As he stood there saying his vows, hoping itâs you he saw walking down the aisle and itâs you he kissed, but they are called dreams for a reason. And not all dreams come true.
As he kissed his bride, he saw a glimpse of your teary eyes amongst the crowd, and a tear of his own fell. Wishing for a future he was never destined to have.

the end
âYouâre perfectâ
Pairing: BangchanXfem!reader
Genre: Smut/fluff
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: Breast worship. Self hate. Body negativity. Insecurities. Soft Dom Chan𼺠[hopefully i covered everything]
Requested: @coffeechangbeanie
A/N: Ahhh my first piece of writing that Iâm publishing in over a yearđ I had to make sure this was as perfect as I could get it. Thank you so much for the requestđ¤ I hope this is okay!

Chan softly opened the door to your apartment after you had texted him to come over and help you with something. He had been with the boys but dropped everything the second you asked. He had been your best friend for 8 years and unknown to you, was insanely in love with you. You shouldâve noticed the way his eyes never left you, the way he dropped everything for you, the way he got jealous any time you mentioned another man, but you never did. As he walked into your apartment he heard mumbling coming from your bedroom.
âY/N?â He shouted for you as he approached the door. âYah, in here.â chan immediately heard how stressed you were and panic set in as he opened your bedroom door to be welcomed by your entire wardrobe of clothes on your floor and you on your hands and knees in amongst it all.
âY/N what happened? Did a bomb go off in your closet?â He let out a chuckle but quickly stopped once your tired eyes reached his. âNot funny chanâ you stood up and threw yourself onto your bed, huffing as you did so. Chan slowly approached the bed and sat softly next to you.
âI canât help, if you donât tell me whatâs going onâ he gently rubbed your shoulder as you sat up and faced him. âI was invited to a party tonightâ you sighed looking down at your watch, realising you had less than 2 hours to get ready and meet your friends who had begged you to go.
âOkay... so whatâs so bad about that?â Chan was confused by the whole situation as you sucked in a harsh breath. âBecause, I was going to wear a new dress I got but it just doesnât....look....rightâ you mumbled the last part as you looked down and played with your hands. âWhat do you mean?â You looked up and let out a sigh at your very oblivious best friend.
âNone of my clothes fit right. They all sit funny, every girl in our year at school has the perfect figure and then thereâs me. They all have hourglass bodies and I look like a pre-pubescent boy, I canât even wear a dress without looking like a boy trying on his mums clothesâ chan watched as tears littered your cheeks. Before you could wipe them away chanâs hand was on your cheek softly caressing your skin.
âOkay first of all, half the girls âhourglass bodiesâ arenât even real, we all know they stuff their bras, and secondly, you are perfect the way you are. Now how bout you go put the dress on and Iâll tell you my honest opinion okay?â You smiled and him and nodded. Chan always had a good eye for fashion so you trusted his opinion.
After a couple of minutes you slowly emerged out of the bathroom in the black dress that pulled in all the right places and stopped just above the knees. Chan watched as you walked to the mirror and examined yourself, he could see the way your hands ran up your sides but he also didnât miss the grimace on your face when you turned to the side, your eyes immediately landing on your breasts, or lack thereof.
Chanâs eyes widened as he finally realised what you meant by it didnât âlook right.â You thought that because your breasts were on the smaller side, that the dress didnât look good on you. Well in chanâs eyes, you couldnât be more wrong. He watched in awe as you turned towards him but his smile dropped when he noticed the tears threatening to spill onto your cheeks.
He stood up and slowly walked over to you. He placed his finger under your chin forcing you to look into his eyes. âThe dress, looks perfect on youâ your cheeks immediately reddened at the sudden compliment.
âYou donât think it looks...weird?â You smoothed out the dress with your hands . âWeird in what way? Why do you think it looks weird? Tell me everything thatâs going through that pretty head of yours right now.â You turned back to the mirror and chan stood next to you as you picked apart your body.
âIt isnât supposed to be this long, itâs supposed to be sexy but...â your fingers played with the hem on your chest as you hid from chanâs gaze. âDresses like this are made for girls with bigger erm....â your voice became almost a whisper as embarrassment set in. You and chan were close and had seen each other at your highest and lowest but this was different.
âBigger boobs?â Chan questioned as his eyes met yours. You nodded as your cheeks glowed red.
Chan took your hands in his. âListen to me Y/N, you are perfect the way you are. This dress looks absolutely incredible on you and anyone who thinks different is obviously blind. Your figure alone is enough to make a man weak in the knees. The way your hair falls so nicely on your shoulders, the way the dress makes your legs look so long and elegant. The way it pulls in at your perfect little waist. You look perfect.â Chan stopped himself when he saw the look of shock on your face.
Nobody had ever spoken about you in this way, not even ex boyfriends. Your mind was going a million miles a minute and then it hit you. You didnât care what anyone else thought. Only chan. Chan looked at you waiting for a response but none came to mind. The only thing on your mind right now was how close chan was to you, his grip on your wrists, the smell of his cologne and the way his lips slightly parted, ready to be kissed.
So thatâs what you did, within a heartbeat your lips were on his. At first chanâs body stiffened but he quickly leant into the kiss, pulling you closer to him as though you would disappear if he didnât. When you both pulled away you were breathless. âYou really mean all of that?â You questioned. Chan looked up at you with dark eyes.
âY/N, from the minute you walked out in that dress, all I could see was beauty. All I could think about was how good you looked in the dress and how I didnât want you to go to the party because I wanted to be the only one to see how good you look right now.â He placed his hand on your waist gently almost asking for permission.
You pulled him in to kiss you again, his hands immediately went to your chest, massaging gently. You were both walking back till your legs hit the bed and you fell backwards with chan falling on top of you. You both chuckled into the kiss before pulling away.
âLet me show you how beautiful I think you are?â Chan asked as he kissed down your neck. You let out short staggered breaths and a hum in response to his question. As chan reached the hem of your dress you instinctively held your breath. Chan noticed and pulled his head up, making eye contact with you.
âIf youâre not comfortable with anything just tap me twice okay, weâll stop I promiseâ you nodded as he placed your hands in his hair. âFor now, just lay back beautiful and let me make you feel good okay?â You nodded and chan returned his lips to their previous place as he gently pulled the dress down to reveal your bra.
He hummed as he placed gentle kisses around the edges of the material. He placed his hands at your side before gently pulling your body into his and reaching to undo your bra. He kissed down your arms as he pulled the bra off you. His eyes landing on yours in a silent confirmation that you were still okay with what was happening. As you both smiled he placed his lips against the skin of your chest slowly leaving marks against your skin.
His lips grazed against your left nipple and he heard you suck in a sharp breath and your grip on his hair tightened. âSo beautiful babyâ he murmured against your skin. His hand constantly massaging at the skin his mouth wasnât currently paying attention to.
He left marks everywhere his lips landed and the quiet murmurs coming from your mouth every couple of seconds told him everything he needed to know. He sat up grinning and admiring his work as he noticed your eyes drift down to the marks littered all over your chest. Your lips burst into a smile and your eyes lit up.
As he leaned in to kiss you his hands once again found home on your chest, gently squeezing at the skin.
âGod you drive me crazy. You really have no idea how perfect every inch of you is, do you?â His words caused a giggle to erupt from your throat.
He let his hands fall to your legs. âI love your legs...â
His hands drifted up and fell against your hipbones âYour hips...â
His hand came to rest in the place it has been the most. âYour boobs...â
Finally his hand came up to rest against your cheek. âYour face...I guess what Iâm trying to say is...I love you...all of you.â
He sheepishly bit his lip, waiting for your reaction. You grinned and pulled his lips against yours once more. âI love you to Chan.â He peppered your face in excited little kisses before leaning back to look at you.
âYou know if weâre being honest right now. I think your boobs are my favourite part of your body. Theyâre just so..â he hummed as he played with your chest. âSo perfect.â His fingers traced invisible patterns against your chest as his eyes confirmed everything he just said.
Just from looking at him you could tell he loved you and when his eyes drifted over your breasts causing his eyes to darken and lips to part slightly, you knew he wasnât lying when he said he loved your boobs the most.
enjoy the party! ; bang chan
genre: fluff and a tiny bit of angst if you squint really hard
word count: 0.8K
warnings: none i think, lmk if i missed something!

you watched as chan laughed with one of his make up artists, minhee, that now wasn't dressed in her staff attire, but in a beautiful black dress.
you rolled your eyes as you took a sip from your champagne.
"i saw that."
you looked up to see changbin sitting down on a chair beside you.
"your eyes will fall out of their sockets if you roll them too much, you know," he then chuckled making you smack his shoulder.
"i didn't roll my eyes."
he looked at you with a funny expression and you let out a sigh, "hey, can you blame me, though? i was supposed to visit my family today but chan begged me to come along to this party, so i canceled on my family, only to now sit alone the entire night."
changbin frowned, "okay, yeah, i get your annoyance."
"thank you."
"but are you sure that's the only reason you're upset?"
you looked at him but his eyes was focused straight ahead. you followed his gaze and saw minhee who laughed at literally everything that was coming out of chan's mouth.
you felt annoyance bubble up again.
"perhaps not."
changbin gave you a kind smile.
"you should go to him. you know how oblivious that man can be sometimes. i am sure he doesn't even notice the way she's flirting with him," changbin said, nudging your shoulder.
"so you agree that she's flirting with him? okay, good, because i thought maybe i was just being too possessive," you sighed.
"go to him," changbin repeated.
you looked at chan, whose smile made his eyes turn into crescents and you felt your own eyes soften at the sight.
"alright."
changbin gave you a thumbs up and you smoothened down your dress before making your way to your boyfriend.
both chan and minhee looked up when you walked up to them and went to stand next to chan. chan's eyes lit up as he wrapped an arm around your waist immediately making pride bubble up inside of you as you felt minhee's eyes on you.
"hey, beautiful," chan smiled before planting a kiss on your cheek.
"hi, chan" you responded before turning to minhee, giving her a smile and wave, "good to see you."
minhee gave you a forced smile, "yeah."
"do you want something to drink?" chan asked, his face close to yours as a lazy smile painted his lips.
you nodded and chan turned to minhee.
"we're going to grab something to drink. enjoy the party!" he smiled before grabbing your hand and leading you towards the counter of the bar, leaving an annoyed minhee behind.
"took you some time," chan whispered in your ear making you frown.
"wait, what do you mean?"
chan smiled, shaking his head. "i was trying to get away from her but i couldn't find a nice way to do so, so i hoped you would get me out of there but you took your sweet time."
you let out an unbelieving laugh. "because i thought you were having a good time! i didn't want to make you uncomfortable with my jealousy," you exclaimed.
a look of surprise could be seen on chan's face for a second before it morphed into something else, something way too smug for your liking.
"you were jealous?" he grinned as he leaned against the counter.
you pursed your lips, looking away. "no?"
he grabbed your waist with his right hand, pulling you closer to him. "are you sure?"
you didn't reply, letting out a scoff mixed with an unbelieving laugh.
he placed a finger under your chin, forcing you to look at him. "were you?"
you hated the way your cheeks were heating up and you really did not want him to get the satisfaction of flustering you. so you decided to play his game too, and beat him in it as well.
looking him boldly in the eyes you spoke up, "and what if i was? maybe i just didn't like the way she was looking at my man," you spoke, your voice low.
chan blinked a few times, forcing the smug smile to not fade from his face, but you saw the way the corners of his lips nervously twitched.Â
a smirk formed on your lips as you got the reaction from chan you hoped to get.
you leaned in closer so your lips were almost brushing against his. "because you're mine, you know?"
chan swallowed as his eyes averted to your lips.
"you drive me kind of insane, do you know that?" his voice was slightly hoarse and you smiled.
"it's what i'm best at."
chan tightened the grip on your waist. he tilted his head and leaned in, wanting to connect your lips with his as quickly as possible.
you turned your head before his lips could touch yours and he let out a disapproving noise, making you chuckle.
"there are people around, chan," you grinned before grabbing your drink from the wooden surface of the counter and giving chan a wink.
"enjoy the party!" you smiled innocently, mirroring chan's earlier words to minhee, before turning around to make your way back to your table, leaving a very flustered chan behind.

masterlist
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE@??]%=âŹ{¢=¢{<,âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸đžđđđđżđđđđđŤđŤđ°đ°âĽď¸đđđđđđżđĽ´yet again the most beautiful writing EVER
Wait for me
Pairing : Bang Chan x reader
Genre : Angst and I mean ANGST
Warnings : hospitals, mention of terminal illness, it is implied that reader has cancer, death, talk about death, grief.
Summary : Chan loves you -when you are here and when you aren't.
A.N: Feedback is highly appreciated, i read and respond to each one of your comments and reblogs <3 they are what keeps me going!
-------------
When Chan vowed that he would love you through sickness and health, in life and in death, he meant those words with every part of his being. He just never imagined that the bad parts of his promise would arrive so soon.
But here he was, sat on a chair near your hospital bed. He can't remember the last time you both went home. Those depressing white walls are all he has seen for the past few months.
He hated hospitals, the smell of alcohol, the lingering dread in everyone's hearts, the shrill cries that echoed from time to time in the long corridors. But most of all, he hated what this place did to you.
He could do nothing but helplessly watch as the life was slowly sucked out of you. You tried so hard to stay positive, to reassure him that you would be fine; but no treatment seemed to be working, and the doctor's tone grew more desolate after each test.
And you? You've grown weaker. Your hands started to shake each time you attempted to caress Chan's cheek. And they became so cold, it scared him at times. Because the hands of someone alive aren't supposed be that cold. So he held them in his large ones, blowing on them in a useless attempt to warm them up. Because he couldn't heal you, so the least he could do is warm up your hands. But his efforts were fruitless. Your hands remained cold, and your body remained sick.
Breathing felt like a chore to you, your body was giving up on you when you still had so much life within you. And on days where your voice particularly betrayed you and you couldn't bring yourself to speak, Chan would talk for you. He would tell you stories, new ones and old ones you've learned by heart. His voice would crack and waver but he'd still speak, and you'd still listen.
Music always played in your room- to fill the empty silences and to conceal Chan's sobs in the bathroom. He never cried in front of you, he wanted to appear strong, for the both of you. But his puffy eyes and reddened cheeks always betrayed him.
You couldn't blame him for hiding himself, because you cried too when Chan fell asleep.
Or so you thought, because Chan never slept at night. He was afraid if he closed his eyes, you wouldn't be there when he woke up the next morning. So he stayed silent, as your tears dampened his shirt. He allowed you this moment of vulnerability. Because that is what the night does to you. It forces you to face the fears that you avoided during the day. Because when the sun is streaming through your curtains, and the birds sing outside of your window, you can't bring yourself to think about death.
But one night, you could no longer bare this weight alone. So you called out to him, and your painful sobs felt like a knife stabbing through his heart time and time again. âI'm so scared Chan. I try to act strong but I'm so scared. I donât want to goâ, you admit, clutching onto his arms tightly. You hoped that if your time had come, it would wait upon gazing at you and Chan. Wouldn't it be cruel to take someone's life when they are embracing their lover?
âYouâre here, youâre still here. Youâre not going anywhereâ, he reassures, kissing your forehead gently. You still felt butterflies when he kissed you. You were still alive, you tried to remind yourself.
âPlease donât let me goâ, you sob, and Chan smiles at you, his hand grazing your cheek softly. âWhere will you go, darling, hum? Youâre staying with me, I promise".Â
That night, you both knew that Chan made a promise he was bound to break. But at that moment you didn't care, sometimes white lies feel better than the truth.
----------
The doctor told you three days ago that your body is rejecting the chemotherapy. "How long?", you asked and he smiled sadly, "a couple of weeks, at most".
What are a couple of weeks in the grand scheme of things? Nothing. They are fleeting, like a breeze that ruffles your hair for a second then quickly leaves you be.
You bitterly think back to the times when you had wished the weeks would pass by faster, not knowing that one day they will be your remaining lifetime.
-----------
Chan hated when you spoke about death. How your "if I die", turned into a "when I die". He didn't want to face it, so he shut you off each time with a kiss. "Later. We will talk about it later", he says, and you nod; although later feels much closer than it did yesterday.
Chan tries his best to ignore it, the impending doom awaiting you. He ignores death as it lazily walks up the hallway, as it enters your room, and sits right beside you. He ignores the dark shadow she casts on your face because he's afraid if he ever faces her, she would snatch you away from him.
But you can't let this go any longer, so one night, you turn down the music and pat the spot beside your bed. "Come here", you say.
Chan almost bolts out of the room. He didn't want to have this conversation with you. Because if he did, it would only be a matter of time before you left. He wanted to lie to himself; he wasn't strong enough to face reality.
Still, he sits besides you, because he loves you, and your smile renders him putty in your hands.
"I need to tell you something, Chan. But you won't stop me, promise me".
"Yn, I-", you cut him off, "Please, if you love me, you'll listen to me".
"Okay... Okay", he surrenders.
"I am dying", you say, tone firm. It felt weird to not whisper those crude words, to carelessly throw them like this in the open. But you wanted them to echo through the room. You needed Chan to accept them.
"It's okay. It's the truth, we can't change it", you smile sadly and Chan shuts his eyes forcefully, shaking his head left and right.
You gently hook your finger under his chin, urging him to look at you. "But you don't have to die with me, yeah? I don't want your life to stop because I am not near you".
Chan thinks that you weren't meant to be separated. Two people who love each other this much shouldn't be separated. They should live together happily and pass away in the same bed. A gentle death, a token of the soft love they once shared.
"When you'll... when you'll bury me", his sob cuts you off and you take in a deep breath. The word felt heavy on your tongue. It lingered in the air, stilling everything around you. He will bury you, there was no doubt in it. And you needed to say this while you still could.
"I want you to remember that it is only my body under the earth. I, the person you love, will still be with you. Here", you place your hand on his heart, "and here", you tap his temple with your finger. "I will live in there for as long as you have me".
Chan imagines that this is what it feels like to drown, to have your lungs slowly be filled with water with no means to escape. Because this is what your words did to him. They filled up his lungs, choking him from within. He could no longer breathe and you were still here, next to him. So how will it be when you are gone? How much more pain can a single human heart bare?
"And I want you... I want you to love again. To feel again".
"Don't", he manages to utter through his tears, "I will never... I will never love anyone the way I love you".
"Your heart is so big my Chan, don't close it off for my sake, please".
"Stop! Stop talking like this! Like you are already gone, I- I don't want you to go. Fight more, please. For us, for me. Don't give up on me", he begs, chest heaving from the sobs that ripple through him.
Chan buries his head in your chest and although it hurts, you let him. You try your best to thread your fingers through his hair, to make your hold feel safe and gentle. Because tonight, Chan needs you to be strong. Chan needs you to comfort him.
--------
The couple of weeks passed by. Each day filled with more pain than the last. You couldn't bare it anymore. All you felt was hurt and you hated it.
"I'm so tired", you confess one rainy night, and Chan looks up at you, dark circles adorning his face. "I know, my love".
"Will you be mad at me? If I go?", you ask in a quiet voice, eyelids slowly closing.
The look on your face haunts Chan. He wants to tell you that yes, he wanted you to stay for a little longer. But loving someone isn't about what you want, loving someone is putting them first. And right now, he needed to let you go.
"I won't. You can rest now, honey". You've always found Chan's voice soothing, but it is particularly gentle this night. His voice reminds you of honey, of walking barefoot on the beach, of the first snow of the year. His voice is everything good in this world. It will stay with you, his voice, long after it lulls you to sleep.
"Thank you, Channie. For loving me in this lifetime", you whisper and Chan smiles, although you don't see it, "I will find you in every lifetime and love you in each".
"You promise?".
"I promise".
"Okay. I'll wait for you".
That night, Chan snuggles against you in the tight hospital bed. As he brings your body to his, he wishes there was a way he could intertwin himself with you, this way wherever you went, he'll be there.
------------
Your body is frail, and your skin is so pale he can see the veins protruding on your face. But you still look so beautiful. No one could ever rival you.
"Hi this is yn! I'm sorry I can't answer you right now. Please leave a message after the beep".
* 3 days after the funeral
"Hey, baby. I'm bringing home the soup you like. Love you".
* 1 week later
"I- I broke down sobbing in the street today. I think it just hit me, that you are gone. That all I have left of you is this prerecorded message. It hurts, it hurts so bad, yn. And you aren't here to make it feel better. I want to go back to when I brought home your favorite meal, and I- I convinced myself you were just in the other room and you'll come eat it soon".
* 2 weeks later
"I can't do this anymore- Why did you leave? Why did you leave me here alone. I can't- I can't breathe without you, yn. It's too much, too much. Why did it have to be you? What about the plans we had, huh? The house we wanted to build together and the places we still haven't visited because we thought we had time? What am I supposed to do with all the 'what if's' you left behind? I- I wish it was me who died that day".
* 3 months later
"I didn't- I didn't call for a while. You are not mad at me, are you? I'm sorry, for being angry last time. I wasn't angry at you, you know? I could never. It's just... my heart hurts yn, it feels heavy, so heavy to carry alone. And I cry, I cry a lot. I think I may have ruined our sheets from how much I cried in them (chuckles). But, today I smiled. I thought of you, and I smiled. That has to count as something, right?".
* 5 months later
"It's your birthday today. I bought you roses, your favorite. But I don't think I will water them, you used to do that and I... I can't even take care of myself, yeah... I didn't- I didn't go to your grave to wish you a happy birthday, because you said that you are here with me. I just whispered it to myself, did you hear it, baby? You'll tell me all about it when we meet again, right?".
* 8 months later
"I forgot- I forgot how your laugh sounds. I woke up today and I couldn't remember it, and I- I don't want to forget, I'm so scared I'll forget because if you don't live in my memory then where are you? I'm still- I'm still hiding under the covers, I don't want to go out and face a world where I don't remember the sound of your laugh".
* 1 year and a half later
"It's been two years since we got married. But we've been together for five years now, isn't that amazing? I... I have something to tell you. I came to realize that although only one body was buried, two people have died that day. And I'm okay with it. I only exist to wait for when my time comes, and then I'll see you again. Wait for me".
* 2 years later
"I got the promotion I've been dreaming of baby. I think you already know that because it rained so hard as soon as I got out of work. It reminded me of the way your hugs felt, or how I think they felt. I don't really remember them. My therapist said it's how our mind copes with grief. But, I know that they felt safe and gentle. So I stood under the rain for 10 minutes, and now I caught a cold (chuckles). If you were here, you would have scolded me. You were always so protective of me, so sensitive and sweet. That's why I take back what I said a long time ago. Do you even remember? I don't wish it was me who passed away that day. I would never want you to go through the pain of losing me".
* 3 years later
"My heart still feels heavy, yn. It may sound silly, but I like it. Don't judge me (laughs). I just remember when you told me that you'll be with me, in my heart. So I imagine that the weight on my chest is the weight of my love for you. Pretty cool, right? You're everywhere with me. And I miss you. I miss you, a lot. I miss you so much. I- I can't wait to see you again. My pretty angel".
* 3 and a half years later
"It's my birthday, today. As a gift, I bought myself your perfume. I know, I know, I still have two full bottles but I'm taking precautions. I don't want to run out of it. Our friends are used to me smelling like you. Some of my coworkers even bought your perfume because they liked it so much. And now wherever I go, I smell you. It's funny, how they never knew you, and yet your life intertwined with theirs. You are everywhere, you aren't forgotten, baby. Someone like you could never be forgotten".
* 5 years later
" Hey, my love. Seungmin got married a month ago. I know, no one was expecting him to do it first. It was a beautiful ceremony, but not as beautiful as ours, but don't tell him that (giggles). Do you remember when you told me that you wanted me to love again? I think I did. I think I'm starting to love life again. I woke up and breathing felt easy. I heard the birds chirping right outside our window and I didn't hate them. I realized that I've hated them for the past five years because they were so alive and I wasn't. But I'm starting to live again. I just had some oranges and they didn't taste bland. And I think- I think I'm ready to live, for the both of us".
* 62 years later
"I think I might see you soon, my yn. You've been waiting for me, haven't you? Just like we promised".
{5:59pm} imagine... cuddling with Chan in bed at night and him pulling you in as close as possible, burying his face into your neck with a sigh and whispering sweetly "I sleep so much better with you here"
THEY DEVOURED. I KNEW NUMBER 8 WITH CHAN WOULD GO SO SOO WELL đ¤§đ¤§ HAD A GREAT DAY TODAY DUE TO THIS đŠ

NUMBER 8 WITH CHAN PLEASE??????????
Oh my fffgggrrrrr the instant I read this ask, a dozen thoughts kept flooding my mind because I KNEW I was gonna enjoy this one.
SMUT WARNING MDNI
"Are you sure? I mean, I'm okay with it but I just- it's so... new? It's not something we've done yet and I get that we're a couple now and trying things is good. But, y'know I just-"
"Chan, please. Don't overthink it too much, if we don't like it, we can just not do it again like we've discussed before."
"Its just a side of me you haven't seen yet, and I'm worried you don't like it," The concern, and possibly even insecurity, is evident in Chan's voice as he looks at you from across the elevator on your way to his apartment.
Such a simple suggestion to add to your sex life, yet so much preparation, compassion and thought has already gone into this.
"Channie," You say in a gentler voice, stepping closer to him and wrapping your arms around his neck which he instantly welcomes with his own around your waist, "I've been wanting to watch you, for so long," You whisper into his ear, his breath shuddering delightfully.
"Just let me watch, I promise I'll be good."
A simple, yet out if your comfort zone, suggestion - watching Chan jerk off while you're forbidded to provide any relief.
You've seen glimpses of a rougher Chan, his dominant side poses to be way different than any side you'd ever seen, but it's clear that Chan aims to please - even in bed - and if more dominant is what you want, dominant is what you'll get.
You find yourself nervous to experience Chan's dominant side, curious to test the waters and possibly even push boundaries, but mostly excited. You know he's strong, takes what he wants but he's also extremely giving so it's pure excitement coursing through your veins to see him like this.
This is going to be fun.

The sound of wet, sloppy, gradual movements fill the air of the bedroom. Chan's fist wraps tightly around his cock as he lifts and lowers it to his liking.
You wish you hadn't suggested that you weren't allowed to help or react in any way, and sitting on your dressing table's little stool feels too far away from him. The need to touch him feels way more than the ache between your legs at this point, but your thighs draw near anyway.
He looks beautiful even like this, his button up shirt open but still over his arms, straining against the size of his muscles especially when he flexes to speed up. His hair shrivelled and messy, bottom lip pink from biting it, he's a fucking masterpiece.
"Fuck," He groans, "Wi-wish it was you milking me this good baby."
You're close enough to not only hear his cock slipping in and out of his fist, but also see how it glistens with spit and lube, the tip raging red from all the stimulation, twitching every once in a while when he lets it fall against his belly.
This whole time he's had his eyes glued to his cock, watching with fascination, just like you. The occasional moan or whimper and tip of his head back onto the pillows sends shivers down your spine every single time.
"Ah m'gosh, I can feel it building, get-ting so close baby," He warns. But your body can't stand it anymore, your thighs being pressed against each other just doesn't feel enough anymore. A hand reaches for your nipple, tugging on it gently over your shirt as you watch with anticipation.
"Aw, are you getting needy, princess?" He coos, his voice steadier than before and grabbing your attention where you were about to get lost in the feeling. You nod, a small mhm slipping past your lips.
"Do you wanna touch yourself, love? Is it getting too much watching me?"
A whimper slips at his condescending tone, talking so normally as if he isn't stroking his cock and keeping eye contact while he does.
His hand stops, and he gets up with a sigh, walking closer until he places himself right in front of you, on the edge of the bed but just too far for you to reach forward and touch him.
"I bet you're leaking all over that chair, baby. You can't even handle your own suggestions, look at you. You wanna touch so badly, don't you?"
"Fuck," You close your eyes, your legs rubbing repeatedly against each other, "I really, really wanna touch myself, Channie."
His face erupts into a smile, lightening his demeanour but it almost seems like a trap. He leans back onto one hand, the other hand wrapping around his throbbing, heavy cock.
"Open your legs for me, baby. I wanna see you."
It was also your suggestion to be bottomless while this goes down. You just wanted to see if you could handle it which, looking back now, you clearly can't.
"Come on, don't make me wait pup. Lemme see if you're truly struggling or not. Wanna see if you're as good as you claim to be."
âdad!chanâ â hcs



â¸â¸ŕ Ë. fluff . head-cannons . dad au
â pairings : dad!chan/dino x f!reader â note : the day dino becomes a father, I'll be a proud grandmother (I'm younger than him) đˇ [âŞâŞâŞ] ¡ love, maybe by secret number (pls read slowly đż)

đâ. dad!chan who, despite being clueless, tries to help you out in every way possible.
â changing diapers? He won't let you lift a finger. Feeding the baby? He's already sat beside the baby to do so.
đâ. dad!chan who feels guilty when he messes things up, but quickly regains your trust (with the help of his hyungs)
đâ. dad!chan ; and if someday he couldn't help you with the baby, he'll do the chores instead. He just wouldn't let you do everything yourself.
â because, why would my wife suffer when I'm right HERE? - he tells himself.
đâ. dad!chan who loves getting matching items for the baby and him. Everyone has to know that the cute little kid is his, and yours of course.
đâ. dad!chan who'll start rapping with excitement when the baby does even a bit of movement that looks like a dance move.
â (let's not blame him guys, his love for dancing is unmatched)
đâ. dad!chan who loves to gently take the baby's tiny hands in his and peck it before he goes for practices or tours - he considers the sweet giggles that leave the baby's lips after, as a good luck.
đâ. dad!chan who becomes stressed over his own random 3AM thoughts that he might be giving all his love to the baby, and making you feel neglected when he doesn't intend to do so...
â and when he apologizes to you out of nowhere, you'd burst into laughter and he'd just stare at you, confused, like 'are you not mad at me?'




tipsy nights đ
tags/warnings: boyfriend! chan, female! reader, alcohol, mentions of a finished dinner, lots of kissing, lots of touching and feeling each other up, reader praises chan, chan gets kinda shy, dry humping
word count: 1.9k
notes: thank you to @duhnova for helping me with the idea for this drabble! this has been a recurring thought in my mind - getting tipsy with chan, making out, and getting handsy 𼺠the dingo tipsy live is also one of my favorite chan looks ever (and the inspiration for this drabble), itâs so boyfriend coded đŠ anyways, enjoy besties!
chan stretches out his body, groaning out in satisfaction as you wash the dishes from your meal. âseriously babe, youâre such a great cook! that tteokbokki was one of the best iâve ever had.â
you blush at chanâs words, a smile making its way on your lips. âthanks chan, iâm really glad you liked it!â you dry your hands with a towel as you join him on the couch, resting your head on his shoulders as your legs move into a mermaid position. chan puts his hand on your knee and begins rubbing your skin in a circular motion.
âyou take such good care of me,â he admires, looking in your eyes, feeling as if he could get lost in them forever. âyouâre always making sure iâm eating, making sure iâm well, i donât deserve you..â
âi donât deserve you, chan,â you emphasize, holding his hand. âthe things youâve done for me and the way you take care of me too? youâre the greatest boyfriend ever.â
you share a quick kiss, resting your head on chanâs shoulder when you separate. having a partner that not only understood you, but wanted to know more about you, flaws and all is one of the best feelings youâve experienced.
after a few minutes of silence, you eye the bottles of soju and other alcohol on the table in front of you. plates of snacks and fruit were also laid out, your eyes turning back to your boyfriend. âready to start drinking?â
chan smirks as he grabs a soju bottle, causing you to sit up for a moment. he pops the top off fashionably and he pours halfway to your shot glass, while pouring to the top for his. you reach for your liquor as you both say cheers, clinking your glasses and taking your shots. you hiss at the strong taste of the alcohol, the slightly bitter taste of regular soju wasnât your favorite, but it was tolerable.
chan laughs at your reaction, shaking his head, âstill getting use to the taste huh?â
âthe flavored one taste so much better to me!â you defend. âi dunno how you take down almost three bottles of this,â you take the bottle as you pour another shot, stopping halfway again.
âbut yet, youâre getting another drink of it,â he chided and you playfully, lightly hit him on his shoulder. âi never said i didnât like it, yâknow,â you pop a chip into your mouth, swallowing it. âi just prefer other tastes.â
thirty minutes pass by and a pleasant feeling overtakes your body and brain. youâre not completely drunk, but you definitely could say you werenât sober either. what was the word you were looking for?
âare you tipsy, baby?â chan smiles at you leaning his head back on the couch, hand covering his face, chuckling to himself. while his tolerance was way higher than yours, he had already downed two and a half bottles of soju - and is probably more intoxicated than you are.
âmmmhmm,â your slowly slur, leaning forward but stopping yourself so you wouldnât fall over. âit feels good though, not gonna lie,â you giggle, shifting yourself to sit closer to your boyfriend. you rest your head on his shoulder again, hand holding on his forearms. you stare at the wall in front of you, but you look up at him when he takes another swig of alcohol, biting your lip watching his adamâs apple move with each swallow, how his lips looked so soft and pillowy.
you tap his arm twice and it brings his attention back to you, chan humming in response to your gesture. âi dunno if told you this but you look really hot today.. i mean you always look hot, but right now?â you stop to bite your lip, legs pressing together tightly, âgod, i need you inside of me, on top of me, maybe even underneath me.â
chan blushes profusely at your words, his bright smile making one also spread across your face. you kiss his cheek twice, but something inside you is encourages you to go further and your lips trail down his cheek to the left side of his neck. his breath hitches at the sensation, your moist, wet lips doing something to him.
âi didnât think my outfit today would have such an effect on you,â he muses, looking down at the long sleeve brown top he matched with some jeans. he hadnât intended on making you feel a certain way when he puts this together, but he mentally pats himself on the back for it because look where it got him. his favorite girl in the world, tipsy and kissing his neck ever so tenderly.
you chuckle, moving your body to sit on top of his left thigh, praising and thanking all the high powers for convincing you to wear shorts today. you maneuver yourself closer to him, lips diving into his neck again, but this time alternating between kisses and small, light bites. this clearly arouses chan and his hands make their way to the small of your waist, softly gripping the skin.
âmmm channie,â you moan softly as your hands make their way down to his chest and stomach, fingertips tracing the line of his abs. âyouâre so handsome and stunning.. everything about you is so attractive. youâre an amazing performer, a hard worker, so patient and understanding.. not to mention funny and insanely talented, youâre like the complete package.â
you momentarily pause as your hand goes inside his shirt, now tracing the lines of his skin. your fingers slowly dance their way down to chanâs zipper, his breathing becoming quicker. âjust wanna show you how amazing you are my love, wanna shower you with you all the compliments i can think of,â you kiss his forehead as you tease him by rubbing your fingers lightly against his crotch.
chan leans his head back as he whines from all the praise he was getting. âbaby, youâre making me red,â he says a little above a whisper, and you canât help but smile at how cute he is right now. normally he would be one to take compliments to his advantage, use them to dirty talk you until you were leaking all over him. but tonight was different. there was something in the air chan couldnât define, but whatever it was, he just wanted to let you take the lead in this moment.
deciding that it was time to switch things up, you begin to slowly grind on your boyfriendâs thigh, the feeling of your shorts and his jeans on your crotch has you immediately moaning. chanâs mouth opens in awe as he lays his eyes back on you, the expression on your face and the way you bite down on your lips has him starting to form a wet spot on his boxers.
chan tenses the muscles in his thigh and it has your chest falling forward, causing you to release a louder moan. âshit, channie,â you whine, a doe like look spread across your face. âplease do that again, please,â you beg breathlessly, never stopping your enticing motions on his leg.
chan smirks at how affected you are and fulfills your request, tensing his muscles again and moving his leg side to side to add extra excitement to your folds. you whimper as your body continues to heat up, chanâs movement and groans tightening the coil in your stomach. before you think youâre about to burst, chan taps the back of your thigh twice, bringing all of your movement to a stop.
âthereâs two things i want you to do for me pretty girl,â he bites his lips as he eyes you up and down, noticing how your nipples got perky and were peeking through your shirt. âyes baby?â you respond, pushing some of your hair back that got in your face.
âfirst, stand up and take your shorts off for me. let me see your cute little panties,â he smirks, now eyeing the lower half of your body as you get up from his leg. four eyes dare not leave chanâs as you find the button to your shorts, then you work the zipper down, pulling them down slowly as he groans when theyâre completely off your legs, kicking them off to the side.
âlike what you see?â you tease, already knowing the answer. chan licks his lips and beckons you to come closer with his index finger.
âsecond thing, you think you can ride me but sit on my lap this time? i wanna feel your pretty little pussy on my dick.â
âthink?â you playfully roll your eyes as you maneuver your body and gingerly sit on his lap, you crotch pressing against chanâs. âi know i can, i wanna feel you too channie,â you moan already feeling his hard on touch the material of your underwear.
âhow are you so hard already?â you geniunely question as chan wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest. ânot that iâm complaining or anything!â
your boyfriend smiles as he seals your lips in a long, drawn out kiss, guiding your body to grind against him. âthatâs all you baby,â chan laughs as you hold on to his shoulders, feeling up his arms. âyou feel so good rolling your hips into me like a good girl.. i can feel how wet you are too, soaking these adorable panties you have on,â his fingers lightly touch your clit from the outside and it has you mewling, craving for more - chanâs name and more higher pitched moans than the others you let out earlier consistently coming out your lips.
âchannie,â you beg, moving down on him with a bit more pressure. âi need you so bad, need you to fuck me here on the couch after i come.. please tell me youâll fuck me,â your eyes looking like they were watering. chan tilts your chin up as he pushes his hips up to thrust into you, making sure you kept your eyes on him. âi fuck you just how you want baby, iâll make sure iâll have you screaming for me on this couch, have you begging even more than you are now. you want that baby? want me to have you screaming my name?â you pace has sped up as you nod frantically, the coil in your stomach becoming tighter and tighter.
âchan! chan! cha-â you loudly whine as your body becomes undone, slumping into your boyfriendâs chest as you come all over his boxers, making an even bigger mess on his clothes. your breathing is ragged, but you love the state youâre in right now, chan continuing to hold you by the waist as he rubs your back.
âthink youâve sobered up a bit?â chan asks as he helps you sit up. âcause i know i have,â he chuckles, brushing his hair back. you nod, agreeing with him. âyeah, i think so too.â
after a few beats of comfortable silence, you call out your boyfriendâs name, looking up at him. âcan you still take me down on the couch? i still havenât felt you inside me yet,â you fake pout as he smugly smiles, switching your position, and pressing you down on the couchâs material.
âjust you wait, iâm gonna leave you wanting my touch for a very long time.â
đđđđđđŠđđ¤đŁ! [1đ đźđžđ đžđťđđşđđđđ] - part. 1: the destination
![! [1 ] - Part. 1: The Destination](https://64.media.tumblr.com/656cf676fbb669b7e93eccf6d2fc21c9/43b55b4b7ee14a8d-8c/s500x750/041d8507cd60646d434f013a1151d045162c4e92.png)
synopsis: you and your boyfriend have been working nonstop. performances on his end and endless meetings on yours. when you both finally get a break, he proposes you two get away for a few days. little do the both of you know that this âbaecationâ will provide physical, emotional, and sexual healing.
general tags/warnings: smut, pwp, female! reader, boyfriend! chan, non-idol! chan (professional dancer! chan), vacation/baecation getaway, lots of teasing, lots of dirty talk, lingerie on reader, hotel room sex, balcony sex, pool sex, basically chan and reader are just horny lovebirds
this partâs tags/warnings: cooking and food, kissing, tinges of suggestive material, mentions of the beach, waterfronts, etc.
word count: 2.6k
notes: well, sheâs finally here! baecation is ready for you all to consume and i really hope you all like it! 𼚠thank you again for 1k, it still feels very surreal and iâm so lucky to do one of the things i love and share it with you guys. now before i get too sappy, letâs get into it shall we?
taglist will be reblogged!
ââ
quite frankly - youâre over it.
for the past month and a half, youâve been pushing your limits at your job. your boss designated you as the lead of a project and on top of that, you had to put in overtime to ensure that the project workload AND your individual load were still up to standards. while you knew things would be worth it in the end (your project commissions and overtime would give you an extra $2,500 dollars on your paycheck), you would be lying if you said your mental and physical health were starting to deteriorate.
today especially, you realized things were going to get worse before they got better. as you shut down your workspace, you felt ounces of your energy leave your body. too much happened for your liking - your teammates argued about the projectâs direction, your boss complained about the most minute details in a presentation you were to give in a few days, and to culminate the day, your company laptop malfunctioned while you were working and it had to be sent to i.t. for it to get fixed. at this point, you were ready to head home, wrap yourself up in your covers, and forget about everything and everyone.
youâre not sure if you heard people say goodbye to you as you left the office, but if they did, you were too tired (and too agitated) to care and respond back. as you enter into the parking deck of your office building, you fish for your phone and see some missed texts from your boyfriend, chan.
channie â¤ď¸: hey, just wanted to check on you
channie â¤ď¸: iâll probably be over later tonight
channie â¤ď¸: so much is going on, and i really want to see you
you breathe a sigh of relief at seeing your boyfriendâs name appear on your screen, but you also canât help but worry. your boyfriend chan was a professional dancer - and a damn good one. heâs been dancing since he was three, and itâs his first love. he teaches at three of the most popular dance studios on a weekly basis, drawing in huge crowds of avid and eager learners. his instagram comments are always flooded with words of praise - handsomeness and talent catching the eyes of millions. his sharpness, keen eye for detail, and flawless execution made him the target for entertainment companies and he was often called in to be a backup dancer or choreograph for popular idol groups. currently, heâs preparing to dance with a popular boy group after their latest comeback broke records.
he did mention that his rehearsals were getting a bit more intense, especially since this group in particular were about to start their promotion period. there were days where he complained that his body ached and times that you helped take care of him, so you just had to pray and hope that today wasnât as harsh on him.
you and chan have been together for a year and a half after meeting at party hosted by a mutual friend. you werenât sure that you two were a good match for each other, but after a few meet-ups and intriguing conversations you realized that you two had more in common than you thought. whatever one of you might have lacked, another made up for in actions or words. you two complemented each other and you had each otherâs backs. even through some rough patches, you both realized that there was no one else you wanted to be with. there was no going back.
as you started your car engine, you shoot a quick text back to chan, thanking all higher powers you would at least have some better solace this evening.
babe đ: you too? i guess we can talk about later when you come by. see you in a bit, love ya â¤ď¸
the drive after work feels somewhat longer than normal, the traffic almost making you reach your limit. but you finally find yourself back in the comfort of your apartment, kicking your shoes off to the side and dropping your bag and blazer to the floor. you breathe a huge sigh of relief as you enter your bedroom, take off your bra, and flop onto your bed, letting the sweet scent of your bedsheets fill your nose.
you find yourself drifting into dreamland a few minutes later, but the grumbling of your stomach and the fact that you still had the rest of your work clothes on brings you back to reality. despite some opposition from the rest of your body, you get up and grab some loungewear from your dresser and head for the shower, hoping to relax your tense muscles.
after you come out the shower and change, you head to the kitchen to start on dinner. you decide on chicken fried rice - one of you and chanâs favorite meals to eat together. you pull the ingredients from the fridge and the seasonings from the cabinet, asking your smart home device to play serene, chill music. the instrumentals fill your space, and you get to work - washing the chicken first.
as you finish garnishing both plates, you hear your doorbell ring. you check your camera, and smile as you see your boyfriend come into view. you quickly wash your hands and answer the door, embracing chan in a tight hug before he can even say anything to you.
heâs surprised at how you rush at him, but it quickly melts into a soft smile as he wraps one hand around your waist and one on the back of your neck. he gently sways you back and forth, rubbing the small of your skin. after nearly eight hours of rehearsal, all he wanted to do was spend the rest of the day with you with no worries.
âhey you,â he whispers, glowing smile still on his perfect features. you finally make eye contact with him, a smile coming on your face, beaming at the fact that you were finally with your love. âhey,â you respond, going up on your toes to press a kiss to his soft cheek. chan takes the opportunity to place his hand on your chin and places a kiss on your lips. he quickly realizes he missed this wonderful feeling, and he deepens his movements, smirking when you can feel yourself lose all control and give into his desires.
you have to force yourself to come off him, knowing that if this continues dinner would be long forgotten. âcâmon babe, i made your favorite!â you take his hand and he drops his bags by your door, the familiar blending of seasonings wafting through his nose. âyou made chicken fried rice?!â chan beams, entering the kitchen, his mouth nearly drooling at the plate full of goodness. âman, i really needed this today, thank you baby,â he places a kiss on your cheek this time as he goes to wash his hands. you canât help but blush as you take the plates to the table, taking your seat as chan follows behind you.
âiâll eat deliciously,â he affirms you, toasting your fork to you, taking his first bite and nodding in agreement at your cooking. you give him a minute to eat before you ask him anything.
âhow have rehearsals been?â
âin one word, crazy,â he sighs. âi had to come in early to teach one of the members since he had an overseas schedule when the group had practice. then we had to rework some formations and drill the choreo over and over to get ready for filming tomorrow. iâm excited for filming and all, but im just tired.â
you sigh, shaking your head in agreement. âthatâs understandable, things at the office have been crazy too. i love what i do, but this overtime is driving me crazy. i canât wait to be finished so i can get this big bonus.â
âyouâve got this through. and when that check comes, itâll all be worth it. just make sure you take care of yourself in the meantime. you know iâm proud of you right?â he rubs your back, his hand softening your tight muscles.
âthanks,â you respond shyly, smiling at your lover. âyou know iâm proud of you too. youâre living out your dream everyday and youâre having fun doing it. your hard work is paying off too, chan. if i havenât told you lately, youâre doing amazing. but you also need to make sure youâre taking care of yourself too, okay?â
he nods in agreement. âitâs only fair cause i asked you to do the same. i promise iâll take care of myself.â
time passes by pleasantly, empty plates now in the dishwasher, conversations continuing from the kitchen table to the couch. your head rests on chanâs shoulders, your right hand on his leg.
âso when do you guys film the performance video?â
âtomorrow, and itâs supposed to last two days. then we have promotions with the group, but they divided us into two groups, so i only have to perform at music shows during the second week.â
an idea pops into your head, imaginary lightbulbs flashing rapidly. even though you were working overtime, you were scheduled for absences on friday and monday and your boss hadnât rescinded on your days off. if chan only had to work until thursday, that would mean for once - both of your schedules would align.
âwait.. so that means you have a break after the music video?â you question. âeven if itâs a short one?â
âyeah, what are you getting at?â
you sit up from your boyfriendâs shoulder realizing that the planning you completed in your head might have actually worked. âchan,â you exclaimed, âi actually have a break too! i get friday and monday off! chan, do you know what this means? we finally have the chance to spend more time together!â
your excitedness makes chan swoon, but it also brings a tinge of sadness. you were right - you two have been so busy that you had limited time together. between him dancing and teaching and with your work project, moments like these where you two could get away for a minute were rare.
âwe should do something special then baby! we could go to dinner,â he gasps coming up with a new idea, âand iâve always wanted to take you on a night boat ride! remember when i sent you those pictures from japan?â
earlier in the year, chan went overseas for another performance opportunity and during his time off, he and some of his other dancer friends took a boat ride with the city lights gleaming over the large body of water, waves that could lull anyone to sleep with their calming effect. it was a sight to behold, even through a 7 inch phone screen.
âyeah i do! those pictures were gorgeous,â you admire, thinking how back them you wished you were with chan on that boat, head resting on his shoulders like you did earlier, taking peeks of your boyfriend every now and then. he would be staring into the distance, somehow managing to look more handsome than anyone else.
âactually, i kinda want to do something grander than a date night though..â you hint, playing with your hair as you temporarily avoid eye contact. âiâve been seeing this idea on insta for a while, and now i dream of doing it with you, chan. why donât we take a trip together babe?â
âlike a day trip?â
âmmm, i was thinking more like for the weekend. and it doesnât have to be somewhere ridiculously far either, not like bali or anything! matter of fact, thereâs a beach that i found right off the coast and the city is stunning!â you pull out your phone and type in the name of the beach in the search engine. you pass your phone to chan, images of beautiful blue water and white sand flooding his lenses.
âah, crystal beach!â chan recognizes the name. âsome of my friends have been there before, they said it was really nice! they said thereâs a waterfront hotel right in front of the beach, and from the right floor you can get the perfect view.â
suddenly, you can envision the two of you on the fifteenth floor, sunrise glistening through the windows as you sleep in chanâs arms, legs wrapped around his waist, head on his chest. nothing else would matter in that moment expect for you two. no work, no projects, no eight-counts - just you, your lover, and the gentle ocean breeze.
âso, what are you thinking? should we go for it?â you ask.
âletâs do it babe! weâve never done something like this before, and we can make some great memories out of it! and from the looks it, we could both use some time away from all of this,â he gestures towards the windows, overseeing the big city that encased you two.
âyeah,â you nod in agreement. âi think some time away is long overdue. and itâll be good for us! honestly, i was thinking about us waking up together, and now i canât wait to get out of here!â you both share a quick laugh as you head comes to the familiar space of chanâs shoulders.
you two share a few moments of silence before chan taps your leg twice as your eyes look into his, âdo you wanna leave friday morning? we can get there by the afternoon, chill for a bit, and then get dinner or something.â
âmâkay, that sounds good to me. do you want me to reserve the room or do you wanna do it?â you ask, rubbing his shoulder.
âi can reserve the hotel room! donât worry about it babe.â you kiss chanâs cheek as a thank you, fingers intertwining with his. chan pulls out his phone, typing in the hotel name, leading him to the website. he then locks his phone, already making plans to make this the best trip for you both.
some more time passes, you and chan watching random youtube videos, laughing at funny moments. but soon it comes time for chan to leave, he has an early morning because of the music video filming.
you walk with him to the door, handing him his bags. you go on your toes to kiss his cheek one more time before he leaves. âgood luck on filming, iâll see you on friday!â
he bends down to press a gentle kiss on your lips, hand caressing your jaw to deepen the feeling. you return his passion, tongues moving together like choreography. when you separate, his lips form in a smirk - he loves the feeling of leaving you breathless.
âif i get out early on thursday night iâll text you. if i do, can i spend the night?â
âof course, baby,â you smile at him, biting your lip. âiâll see you soon, okay? you need to get some rest.â
âokay, okay, love you baby,â he says leaving one more kiss on your lips.
âlove you too, text me when you get home!â you respond as he opens the door, waving you goodbye, signaling with his fingers that he would affirm he got home safely.
chan closes the door as he walks to the elevator, hearing your door lock, making sure you were safe. he quickly gets out his phone, the hotelâs website coming back into view. he chooses the dates, chooses two people to occupy the space, and it takes chan to the room selection. he scrolls until he find the perfect room - one with a king size bed, and a balcony view, hopefully one that would overlook the beach.
before he reserves the room, he texts one of his friends that stayed at the same hotel.
hey yeonjun, i need a favor.
which exact floor were you on when you went to that hotel at crystal beach?


đ Main role
⤡ Lee Chan (Dino) x reader
đ Honorable mentions
⤡ Wonwoo (Seventeen)
đ Genre
⤡ drunk!dino, angsty(?)
đ Warnings
⤡ mentioned alcohol and its consumption, the reader is tired and annoyed (just slightly)
⢠If I miss something, let me know ⥠(p.s. English is NOT my first language, thank you)
âŞď¸âŞď¸âŞď¸âŞď¸âŞď¸ -> masterlist
"Chan?" you raised your eyebrows in surprise when you saw your best friend behind a door he was impatiently knocking on. Soon, your expression went from surprised to annoyed, slightly angry too. "You were drinking again?"
"Wonwoo came back!" he said cheerfully and a big smile was seen on his face after mentioning his hyung he hasn't seen for a while. "He took me out."
"Of course, he did." you let out a small sigh and fight with your inner self to roll your eyes at him. "But why did you come here, Chan? It's 2.15 in the morning." as soon as you told him the time (which was probably pointless), your mouth let out a big yawn.
"Oooh, cute~" he cooed at your tiredness.
"Chan!" you crossed your arms over your chest and shook your head a little. You were truly tired from work the previous day and also were not feeling really good, so this was something you didn't want to deal with. Not now at this hour.
"What? I'm... I'm not at home?" he suddenly asked very confused and you just had to close your eyes and take a deep breath. "I thought I was going home..."
After his last sentence, you gave him a small smile and took him inside, closing the door right after him. "You are home." you tried to tell him with a sweet hint in your voice and pushed all the negative energy aside.
You took Chan to your room, which was quite a journey but luckily, he did not fall down the stairs and you managed to catch him all the time. In your room, you didn't even bother to do anything else and then just put the drunk boy to bed and lay down next to him. "Stop drinking so much, will you?" you mumbled to yourself and stroked his hair with a small sad smile.
In the morning it will be very awkward but that was expected. You just couldn't let your bestie wander around the town with alcohol in his system; not when you have special feelings for said bestie.

this is so cute
my heart just got bigger âĽď¸đâĽď¸
SKZ Reaction - You Refer to Him as Your Husband
bf!skz x reader
Contents: mention of drinking
You think it'll be cute to introduce your bf as your husband instead.
Chan
Makes him weak in the knees. The man nearly drops to the ground upon hearing the word âhusbandâ pass your lips. Nevermind the fact that he already refers to you as his spouse in his mind and has been for months now. In that moment he wonders if you can read his mind, or maybe heâs been talking in his sleep? He will be a mushy, lovestruck mess for the rest of the day, clinging to you and grinning and taking it as an opportunity to start introducing you as his spouse to everyone. When youâre cuddling in bed that night he will ask if you mean it and he will start planning the wedding in his head the moment you say yes.
Minho
A cat-like smirk would turn up the corner of his lips but otherwise he gives nothing away. Well except for the red tinting the tops of his ears. His arm would pull you just a little closer and you know him well enough to tell from that that he liked it. He wonât say a word about it but it did make his heart race in the best way possible and heâll give you a little more affection all day. In quiet moments just between the two of you he starts referring to you as his spouse from here on out, always with the same, cute grin.
Changbin
Itâs so so incredibly obvious that he wasnât expecting it. Thereâs a moment of shock before a massive smile spreads across his face. He practically squeals while he wraps you in a tight hug, very much confusing the person you just introduced him to. He doesnât care. Literally nothing else matters. Heâs your husband now and thereâs no going back. He will refuse to respond to you if you try to call him anything else. If you ever introduce him as your boyfriend again he will cry.
Hyunjin
Pure shock. He's staring at you with wide eyes as you act like you didnât just say the most life altering phrase heâs ever heard. He loves the way the word husband sounds coming off you lips. Itâs perfect actually, like it was meant to be. When he finally comes back to his senses he gives you the same treatment, telling everyone that youâre his spouse and enjoying the way it makes you just as flustered as it did him.
Jisung
It honestly scares the shit out of him. Heâs racking his brain for any memory of getting married. Did you two do something on a drunken night that he canât remember? Did he somehow forget his own wedding?? Youâll have to pull him aside and ask him if heâs okay because he looks so incredibly stressed and he asks if he forgot about marrying you. Itâs honestly so cute and you just kiss him and tell him you were just being cute. When he recovers though he will mumble that he kind of liked it and you can do it again if you want.
Felix
Literal instant heart eyes. Such a big smile graces his face but otherwise he tries to remain as chill as possible while inside heâs giggling, kicking his feet, screaming into a pillow. Literally cannot stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. He will not let you go and he will be stopping on the way home at a jewelry shop and telling them youâre engaged just to see how the rings look on your finger and which one he should get for you when he really does pop the question.
Seungmin
Heâs so smug about it. Plays along but as soon as you two have a moment to yourselves and he's chuckling at you and calling you a simp as if heâs not just as whipped. Even if he wonât admit it though he absolutely loved it and it made him all soft inside. Much later when youâre cuddling and he thinks youâve already fallen asleep heâll mumble to you about how nice the word âhusbandâ sounds when you say it and promises to make you his spouse one day.
Jeongin
He wants to be so cool and tease you about it but you caught him off guard. His face blushes crimson and he gets all shy and giggly about it, squeezing your hand and asking why you said that. Heâs literally so soft over it and he canât hide it. Even when he tries to tease you about being obsessed with him heâs giving you the most love struck gaze youâve ever seen and he stumbles over his words. Late that night he asks you so quietly if you really wanna marry him and literally melts when you tell him yes.
Iâ oh đľâđŤđĽ
Why am I dizzy?
need channie who edges.
ever since you decided on riling him up earlier today, he made sure to keep you up that night in the bedroom, fat mushroom tip bumping your slit then moving on to your engorged clit, swollen and puffy from his earlier rubbing.
youâve been at this for hours, unable to think straight, only thinking of his cock.
one strong holds your legs up, all pretty n spread for him while he admires your glossy pussy helplessly squeezing and those sweet little noises each time he stops.
definitely rubs the gentlest of circles on that sensitive bundle of nerves, loving the way your legs shake, chest heaving to catch your breath.
so when you finally start begging for him, begging for this downright torture to end so you can cum, the sharp smack on to your lips earns a squeak.
âbut you caused this, so now you have to deal with the consequences bunny,â heâd tut, brows raised expectantly.
and of course, at this point all you wanna be is good for him, be his good girl and let you cum, and so you do deal with the consequences, letting his nudge that perfectly gummy spot with his long fingers then retreating back at the last second, your cunt all drooly and weepy with desperate release when he instead returns to teasing your heat with his flushed head.
youâre babbling at this point, and between high pitched moans and incessant tears you manage out a âplease let me cum, âm sorry,â before he grins, hands grabbing your face to look at him.
âtongue,â he instructs.
and you do, sticking out your tongue for him to spit on before pressing his thumb down on it and slowly easing his fat cock into your cunt.
your body automatically reacts, making sure youâre all spread for him, lips parted in a heavy mewl of absolute relief.
he feels the same way by the tight knit of his brows, adoring your warm cunt squeezing him in, stuffing his pretty bunny full just how she likes.
so as he bottoms out, pushing your knees to your chest, channie ensures he pulls out just enough to coat your swollen nub in his cum to lick off later and listen to you cry before letting you milk him dry.
blurboki, july 2023 Š
comforting | bang chan

pairing: chan x gender neutral reader
genre: angst, fluff
warnings: depression, overall âsadnessâ talk
word count: 774Â
summary: in which youâre not feeling like yourself, but chan is there to help you
a/n: i havenât been feeling the best, so i wrote this chan drabble to help myself feel better. i hope this helps you, whoever you are, if youâre not feeling like yourself, too

you: can u come over?
chan: yeah. something up?
you: no. just wanna hang
doorâs unlocked
iâll be in the living room
it only took chan fifteen minutes to make it to your apartment, finding you buried in a blanket atop your couch. your eyes were on the television, but you didnât seem very interested in what was going on. he could tell from your blank expression.
âhoney, iâm home,â your friend sang with a smile, not gaining much of a reaction from you other than a nod. chan sighed slightly, pursing his lips at your form. something was clearly wrong.
âmind if i get in on this blanket action?â chan asked, earning a hum from you. he watched as you struggled to sit up, fixing the blankets so he could sit with you. chan kicked his shoes off, placing them by the front door before making his way to you.
you had expected him to sit beside you, but he picked you up instead, sitting down and having you lay on his body. his back sat against the couch arm as his legs sprawled out across the cushions. he wrapped the blankets around the two of you, hugging your body close to him.
âso...â he trailed off, watching as you lazily rested your head against his chest. your eyes were on the television again, not really watching the show that was playing. âwhatâs got you down in the dumps?â
âiâm not⌠in the dumps,â you mumbled, but you knew that chan was smart. he was observant, and he cared. sometimes you wish he didnât care as much as he did.
âreally? hm, i guess youâre right. i mean, this is the happiest youâve ever looked,â he stated sarcastically, eyes peering down at you. you sighed, looking away from the television. you stared at the floor, eyes tracing the lines of the wood.
âfine... iâm not okay,â you admitted, even though you knew he already knew that. âi donât know why, though. it sucks when this happens. i hate feeling like this, especially when i donât know why iâm feeling this way.â
âwell, youâve been going through a lot. itâs probably just catching up to you now,â chan reasoned, one of his hands starting to run up and down your back. it felt comforting, and you nearly let your eyes close at the relaxing feeling. you wrapped your arms around chan, sighing again before speaking.
âi just wish i couldnât feel anything,â you sighed, furrowing your eyebrows as you glared at the ground.
âi understand,â chan sighed with you, his hand now running through your hair. âbut these feelings we have... they remind us that we are alive. i know that sounds like bullshit a therapist would say, but itâs true.â
âyou said it, not me.â
âoh, whatever!â chan shook his head and chuckled softly at your words, holding you tighter as he continued. âanyway, iâve had feelings like yours too - iâve told you about them. they last from a few hours to a few months - to a few years, sometimes. but i keep living; i keep going on because i have a life to live. and so do you.â
âi know that, but... sometimes i wish i could just... press pause,â you explained, earning a nod from your friend. âit gets too much sometimes... i just need a break, you know?â
âi know,â he reassured you. you believed him. chan had come to you with his similar feelings many times before. you felt comforted to know that you werenât alone in your feelings.
âthank you for being here.â you hugged chan tightly, closing your eyes when you felt them grow wet with fresh tears.
âiâm always here for you.â he liked to remind you this a lot. it was comforting, having someone to be by your side during these times. âhey, we can put life on pause for now, okay? whatâs say you and i go to your room and take a nap until dinner?â
âchan... itâs one in the afternoon.â
âfive hour nap. sounds good to me. you in?â
you smiled for the first time that day, sitting up and nodding your head. you followed chan into your room and for the rest of the evening, you and your best friend slept soundly. for dinner, chan ordered takeout from your favorite restaurant, and the pair of you watched your favorite show as you munched on your food. life seemed to get a bit better with chan, and you were grateful to have him by your side.
these feelings are worth feeling, and this life is worth living. thank you, bang chan, for being a friend during these difficult times.
.・シďžďžď˝Ľ Seventeen
ăžChoi Seuncheol loading・・・ ăžYoon Jeonghan loading・・・
ăžHong Jisoo loading・・・
ăžWen Junhui loading・・・
ăžKwon Soonyoung Tiger Love(a?,f) âł established relationship, idol!au, idol!oc, possibly series
Summary: The lifestyle of an idol was hard, even more so when relationships were involved within public knowledge. But, maybe, you two were just lucky
ăžJeon Wonwoo loading・・・
ăžLee Jihoon loading・・・
ăžXu Minghao loading・・・
ăžKim Mingyu loading・・・
ăžLee Seokmin loading・・・
ăžBoo Seungkwan loading・・・
ăžChoi Hansol loading・・・
ăžLee Chan loading・・・
BANG CHAN MASTERLIST

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! 18+ content warning
Multiple
Stray Kids on your Weddingday! (HYUNG LINE)
[2:01pm] ây\n, y\n,â you hear your boyfriend call your name, drawing out the last syllable. although youâre not sure if you can call him your boyfriend anymore considering heâs intentionally trying to wake you up from a heavenly nap. your legs are spread out over your boyfriendâs lap and the rest of you is curled into the corner of the couch.
ây/n wake up sleepyhead,â and itâs like you can hear the kissy emojis in his voice. you peek one eye open, trying to convey your annoyance. your boyfriend, chan, instead of apologizing straight away and bowing down to you like you wanted him to, chooses to laugh at your sleep ridden face. his response aggravates you even more.
âchan, i swear to god, if you ever wake me up from a nap again, i will not hesitate to break your nose. and that is a promise not a threat,â you mumble into your couch corner. your insane âboyfriendâ just laughs harder and you start to think he actually wants to be hurt.
after a couple minutes of suspicious silence chan starts to rub up your tummy, lifting your shirt up. before you can open your mouth to question him, his lips connect to your stomach and he starts blowing raspberries into it. you automatically jerk up but his hands hold you down, making it impossible to squirm out of his grip.
trying to wiggle out of his grasp, you howl out, âchan no stop!â
he chuckles against your upper belly and switches to leaving feathery kisses up your stomach. he trails up to your neck and finishes with a sloppy, wet kiss on your lips. you let out an annoyed groan but return the kiss. he pulls away and shoves his face into your shoulder.
âwhy did you wake me up? what did you want anyway?â you ask him.
âoh I was just bored and wanted your attention,â he mumbles, grinning against your neck.
âI hate you,â you say but you both know you donât mean it.
[6:58pm] a metallic click sounds throughout the empty hallway, created by the lock on your apartment door. you fingers wrap around the knob, twisting and pushing until the door gives way and melodies of soft acoustic music fill your ears. you step into your apartment and shut the door behind you, before releasing a soft sigh. you tiptoe towards the orange glow coming from your kitchen and peek your head into the door, giggling at the sight before you. your boyfriend, chan, shakes his hips to the soft beat of the music, oblivious to your silent entrance. trying to make as little noise as possible, you place your bags down on the table next to you, slide over to where chan shamelessly dances and wrap your arms arounds his middle.
âwhatcha making, baby?â you chin rests on his shoulder and when you speak, your lips barely brush against the shell of your boyfriendâs ear.
chan jumps up, obviously frightened by your suprise entrance. when he realizes that itâs you behind him he relaxes, leaning into your touch.
âIâm making my favorite person ever some dinner,â chan says, turning his head towards yours and giving your lips a quick peck.
you unlatch your arms from his waist and hoist yourself up onto the counter, swinging your feet back and forth. chan follows your body, placing himself between your knees and looking up at you through his eyelashes. you flatten your palms against his chest, a small smile appearing on your face.
âhey uh y/n,â chanâs voice comes out a whisper and his gaze shifts to the ceiling, â I really really love you.â
you pause, trying to work out if there was something deeper to what your boyfriend was saying, âi love you too honey, is something wrong?â
chan is quick to notice your worry, and calms your tense body by rubbing the tops of your thighs, âno! nothingâs wrong. I just wanted you to know that im so appreciative to wake up next to you and be able to call you mine. i just canât imagine where i would be now if i had never met you. I just really love you.â
âchannie i love you too. you donât have to imagine where you would be without me and you will never have to imagine me not being here for you. Iâm always going to be yours chan,â you hold both his cheeks in your hands, making sure he knows your telling the truth.
you press your lips against his in a chaste kiss but you donât make it far before heâs pulling you back in for another kiss. you feel his lips form a smile against yours and you pull away again, choosing to rest your head against his chest. his arms wrap around you, keeping you tied to him.
âchan is something burning?â
can't wait
Â°ę° the thing between roommates âââ b.chan & h.hyunjin. ęą



| pairing: chan x reader, hyunjin x reader
| warnings. contains smut, mentions of watching porn, f and m rec ( includes blowjobs, fingering, etc ), teasing, and more which will be in the actual fic.
| words. tba
| synopsis. one's your roommate and the other is his best friend. you've been holding off for so long. but what happens when they hear you, and want to have their fun?
| preview | let me know if you want to be tagged !!

"you misheard me."
"no one mishears a whine, doll. now tell me what you were doing before i caught you," chan whispers as he leans against the doorframe of your room and looks at you. your eyes stare back at the figure in front of you, while still being on the bed, acting like nothing actually happened.
"i'm telling you, i didn't whine," you start to protest, a sigh leaving your tired body as you try to sit up straight. "it must've been something else." chuckling, chan walks into the room and sitting down on the bed next to you. "then you're watching porn and wishing it was you instead that was being fucked that good?" he raises an eyebrow at you, watching you squirm in your place, his eyes following the movements of your thighs pressing together at the mention of 'being fucked that good.'
it was fun teasing you like this, he thought to himself. knowing what words get to you, what actions he does makes you groan inwardly and he's seen it before. no matter how much you tried to hide it from him, or even his best friend hyunjin, who was always over - they noticed it. all of it.
"i didn't say that -"
"yet you didn't deny it, did you?" chan pokes.
"would you rather i bring hyunjin in here and get you to open that pretty mouth of yours? such a brat aren't you?" chan sighs, shaking his head a little before tilting his head to look at you, his body is almost close to yours, you realize - closer than you ever thought you could get. sure, meaningless hugs and cuddles from chan when you got drunk didn't count. it never did. but this? this was a whole new level for you, even for the boys.
"i'm not being a brat, stop calling me that," you reply, clearly frustrated by him and also because you were stopped mid-orgasm when you were so close. another minute and you would've gotten out of the room. it was all because of that leather jacket he wore. why did he have to look so good? why did he have such attractive friends, which made it so much harder for you to focus on work, making you mix up orders?
"oh, i never called you that. i'm merely just observing your..." chan pauses, taking a minute to soak your expressions, posture, and movements, before letting his eyes rest on your face, a smirk forming on his lips. "...reactions to my words. seems like you want to be called a brat. you'd like it, hm? being called a brat. i wonder what else you'd like, pretty thing."
chan stands up, adjusting his sweats before turning around to look at you. "i suggest you come up with some answers quickly before i get back home. maybe even watch that dirty little porn you were watching," he looks around a little, finding your laptop tucked under your pillow, which was hastily pushed to the side. a smile rests on his face, thinking in his head that he in fact knew what you were doing. "maybe touch yourself a little, hm? play with that pretty little cunt of yours before hyunjin and i have our turn, yeah?"
when chan said that sentence, it shouldn't make your core throb in the way it did just now. it shouldn't have made you want him even more - maybe want both hyunjin and chan at the same time.
"thinking about our fingers inside you already?" chan says, interrupting your thoughts, making you look at him in embarrassment. "go ahead, pup. i won't stop you. tell us about that porn, use your words, and we can make your wet dreams come true, yeah?"

â taglist. @hwajin @starlostseungmin  @chrisbahng @niinjo @chvnnie @lixhues @joonszn @janvibutbetter @cherryhanji @blueberry-chan @dnadoublefelixx @ethereallino @stuckwithaphobiaa @chewryy @bangchanbabygirlx @zizis-world12 @aimeexx @whatudowhennooneseesyou @seobinniesshi @nightlychans @americanokisses @katieraven @h0neydewmoon @hwan-g