Nct Johnny - Tumblr Posts

why are thEY LIKE THIS AHDKNQ

{nct!moodboard}   ❝ arcadian ❞

{nct!powerpuffgirls!aesthetic}  ❝ sugar, spice and everthing nice ❞ 

requested by a friend;

I was already in love with Johnny Suh but this work of art right here made me fall even more. This story was so beautifully written especially with the poems. If I had the time I would read this everyday.

Had me like this the entire time.

i’ll send all my loving to you | jh.s

💌  part of the OF FIRST SNOWS AND SOULMATES collaboration with @ppangjae​, @smoll-tangerine​, and @jeongvision​ 

💌 SYNOPSIS: When your collection of unsent love letters and heart-wrenching poems becomes a best-seller, you are left with the pressure of releasing another collection that is better than the last. In search of inspiration, you return home for the holidays only to run into Johnny Suh– the very man who broke your heart, and discover a variety of letters convincing you to change your fate.

So, riddle me this: if you had a chance to change your fate, would you take it?

💌 WORD COUNT: 24.8k+ 💌 GENRE: holidays!au, college!au, soulmate!au, friends-with-benefits!au,  friends-to-lovers!au, romance, angst, fluff, humor, slow burn 💌 PAIRING: photographer!johnny suh x (female) poet!reader

💌 WARNINGS: cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of sex and divorce, odd references to sci-fi shows and movies

💌 PLAYLIST. lover by taylor swift • for life - english version by exo • unless it’s with you by christina aguilera • i don’t wanna see you cryin’ anymore by adam melchor • love letters by juris • sick of losing soulmates by dodie clark • best friend by jason chen • popo (how deep is our love?) by yerin baek • sun&moon by nct 127 • i’ll like you so much you’ll know it by wan junqi • if by juris • anyone else by joshua bassett • hate everything by golden

Keep reading

my camera roll omg

ALSO I GOT A SCREENSHOT WHEN JAEHYUN APPEARED AND IT WAS SUCH A CLOSE UP VIEW OF HIS FACE

Omg I was so excited when I got the notif that johnny went live aaaaah

MY MOM JUST CALLED JOHNNY JIMMY ADASJK

Jaehyun: When I said “Bring me back something from the beach,” I meant like a seashell.

Johnny: *struggling to hold onto a seagull* Well you didn’t fucking say that.

Honestly speaking,NCT Johnny gives me riverdale Sweet Pea feels...... am I the only one?

NCT 127 enneagram types

warning: this is kind of long but i researched so much about enneagrams for this :)

++ i love these boys with all my heart. this is just how i see them as personality types (strengths, psyche, and flaws)

one: the perfectionist

JAEHYUN - 1w2 (but i want to say 1w3) i think jae is a one or a three, but i placed him in one because his perfect image is what he wants to actually become and project to others. jaehyun has most of the qualities of a one: a big perfectionist, responsible, honest, and improvement-oriented. he probably self-condemns when he doesn’t achieve the results he wants, and works to become the perfect image of himself. he holds himself to a very high standard, and most likely holds others to relatively high standards as well, especially if they affect his way to perfection. i think he tends to hold his anger in through silent resentment. jaehyun has a dominant two-wing. he’s aware of the needs of others and strives to fulfill them in the hopes that they’ll need him in their lives. he seeks love and affection. 

++ i really want to say he has a three-wing, though a 1w3 isn’t a thing, since he’s high-achieving, image-conscious, competitive (comparing with others), and enthusiastic.

DOYOUNG - 1w9 doyoung is a member who’s hard to read but i think he’s a 1w9. as a one, doyoung is also a perfectionist, but may be a bit less of a perfectionist than jaehyun. he is honest, responsible, and improvement-oriented. he makes very practical decisions, and tends to follow his head instead of his heart, weighing the pros and cons of each choice. he probably thinks back on past mistakes and continuously regrets them, working hard to not make the same mistake again. doyoung is very aware of how others perceive him; he desires love and admiration from others. what makes doyoung and jaehyun really different, though, are their corresponding wings. doyoung’s nine-wing allows him to be more rational than jaehyun, who may think more emotionally/subjectively. (doyoung definitely places importance in his emotions, though, especially as they play a great role in his singing capabilities.) doyoung would also undertake greater costs to stay at harmony with others than jaehyun.

two: the helper

JUNGWOO - 2w3 wow! a BIG BIG two. jungwoo loves taking on the role as caretaker. he mostly acts on his emotions but also considers the practicality of his actions in regards to how they will affect other people’s well-being. he seeks acceptance and accomplishment, like taeyong (3w2), but the difference is that jungwoo seeks accomplishment in relationships with others (forms of love). jungwoo is easily adaptable and understands what people want in relationships. he fears that if people are not dependent on him for his care and love, he will become worthless (pride that he is indispensable in relationships). setting boundaries might be hard for him, and he may feel that he is not loved for himself but for what he does for others sometimes. he’s really good at being affectionate and encouraging others, and is well-liked.

three: the performer

TAEYONG - 3w2 (i had research on him bc i’m a three) i’m almost completely positive taeyong is a three; i’m a three (w2 also hehe) myself and i definitely see him as one too. he’s image-conscious, a high achiever, driven, organized, and overworked. he speaks enthusiastically and encourages himself and others to succeed - an important quality as a leader. earning recognition and social networking seem important to him. taeyong is good at naturally sensing who holds the “power” in a room. he is probably more impressive and charismatic when on stage or talking to a large group of people than he is one-on-one. to be completely honest, taeyong is not a natural leader but a person who has developed his leadership qualities in order to reach the success he craves. i think taeyong also has a big two wing; he strives to be loved by others (it’s important that everyone likes him).

four: the romantic

[no one - probably because fours are really introverted and don’t tend to become celebrities.]

five: the observer

MARK - 5w6 mark is a five. mark is a bit of an introvert, might be stingy at times (i also just remembered doyoung said he never saw mark’s wallet before the sudden bag reveal vlog LMAO ily mark), and likes to process things. he has an intellectual side to him and wants to master his interest (music). as a five, mark is really uncomfortable with touch. (tbh as soon as richard rohr (the author) said fives don’t like touch, i was like, “mARk!) he places importance in privacy and freedom, but he also feels isolated because of it. he seeks a balance between his private life and social life. understanding and expressing his emotions might be a challenge to him. as a person with a 6 wing, mark is loyal and loves the people he defines as “his community.” mark is subconsciously cautious of people, though, and it takes time for him to open up. he worries a lot - too much, sometimes. rules are important to him, and he likes making agreements. [edit may 2020: i now strongly suspect he might also be a 1]

six: the loyal skeptic

WINWIN - 6w5 wow i had such a hard time figuring winwin out that i said i didn’t know his enneagram type in my first post but now i think he’s obviously a 6w5. he might also be a 5w6, but he seems to give me more of a six vibe than a five vibe. as a six, sicheng desires support and guidance from the people he trusts. it is hard to get sicheng to emotionally open up - i think that with his shy side as a five and his distrustful side as a six, winwin might be the most difficult member to truly get close to in all of nct. i think that nct 127 - besides the language barrier - is a healthy environment for winwin because nct 127 absolutely adores him. winwin is arguably the bias of every member in nct 127, from yuta (who is not afraid to tell winwin that he is absolute love) to mark (who is slightly shy about expressing it but loves winwin so much). winwin’s lovable energy is his natural disposition, but i also think that he subconsciously maintains it beacuse of his desire as a six to be accepted and supported by others. through his lovable energy, winwin is able to feel stable and reassured in his social networks, thereby eliminating all of winwin’s potential social insecurity inside the group. as a six with a five wing, winwin obviously does not love being touched, kissed, or hugged most of the time. he is a bit introverted, and is the type to become completely immersed in a subject he’s interested in (ex. his dancing); he wants to master it completely. winwin also values his privacy.

YUTA - 6w7 okay so: yuta is really confusing though he’s also one of my favorites. i had a hard ass time trying to figure him out, and i edited this post in february 2020 to move him from 8 to 6. yuta seems to be emotionally distant from others to an extent - due to a classic 6 fear that he’ll lose security or be hurt if he easily opens up emotionally. he is loyal and very expressive to the people he trusts and knows won’t hurt him, though (ex. winwin, sicheng, wayv’s ‘97 baby... ). maybe he likes winwin so much because he sees his six side in winwin (but in a slightly different way). i used to think he was a bit of a three because he places great importance on how people see him (ex. his written goal in nct life was to become a man who everyone would see as accomplished), and because he hold bit of arrogance in the image he desires as a “masculine” man. now i think those are his classic six desires to fight against his insecurity and to be supported through his “masculine” image, though. his seven wing seems to show in the way that he does love to socialize with people, though, especially the ones he actually trusts (as a six), and in the way that he naturally brings energy to groups. 

seven: the epicure

(LMAO i had to)

HAECHAN - 7w6 haechan is a seven. he’s positive, extroverted, spontaneous, fun-loving, and always seeking an adventure. he’s a quick thinker - which contributes to his funny, clever comments. he reads people very well, like taeyong. i think the difference between a seven and a three’s social networking, though, is that while a seven enjoys social networking in itself, a three enjoys it because it can help them reach success. haechan fears “missing out” on events, is not too efficient in dealing with the “bad” side of things (denies pain), and is a bit impatient and impulsive. he may get bored of things quickly. he wants to have fun in life with others. haechan seems to have a dominant 6 wing; he’s very loyal to the people he considers important in his life. he questions rules, but also follows the ones he believes in. as a 7w6, he does doubt the intentions of the ones he is not very close with and seeks safety and comfort.

nine: the mediator

JOHNNY - 9w8 (johnny took me literally 3 minutes, what a king) AN 9w8 ALL THE WAY! i really hope no one disagrees with me on this one. johnny is an amazing people-person (9), and a natural leader (8) who doesn’t feel the necessity to lead. (basically, he has the qualities of a leader but he would rather help harmonize with others than aggressively lead.) he speaks assertively (as a w8) but with regard for other opinions, maybe in the form of adding an “i think so” or a laugh at the end. he’s not too concerned with regulations unless it impacts relationships with others or he thinks they are fair. fairness is very important to him - a classic quality in an 8. he can be extremely stubborn if he genuinely believes in his point, and assertively does his best to defend the person he believes is “right” in an argument while trying to come to an agreement. johnny wants to be at peace with himself and others, and is afraid of being separated from the world. maybe he is a bit ambivalent inside. i think people who are 8w9 and 9w8 are very interesting because the types 8 (assertive leader) and 9 (neutral harmonizer) almost contradict each other. johnny is the perfect balance, a natural leader in the shadows who loves to create harmony.

TAEIL - 9w1 (taeil actually didn’t take me that long, ily taeil) taeil definitely seems like a nine to me. he seeks harmony and avoids conflict with others. he’s accepting, fair, and seems a bit dispersed (not in a bad way). he doesn’t seem to like when someone comes off too strong. he probably has occasional eruptions but usually avoids anger through passive aggression. taeil is also such a 9w1. he strives for perfection in what he does, is honest, and is responsible. he places importance in feeling connected to others (but also values his private life).

[10:48 PM]

seconds after a short text, johnny is already at your side.

you’re already sobbing when he pulls you into his arms. you close your eyes and sob even harder as he cups your face in his hands so gently that you barely feel it. you look into his soft brown eyes, unstoppable tears streaming down your flushed cheeks.

“oh dear,” he murmurs as he pulls you closer and lets your tears wet his light blue hoodie. “who hurt you?” his face is overwhelmed by concern for you and he strokes your swollen cheek with one hand. 

you don’t respond but clench onto the fabric by his waist tighter as you burrow inside what seems like a perfect paradise, safe and separated from the rest of the world. you’re shaking and sobbing and everything in-between, and johnny wraps his strong arms around you quietly.

“i-i can’t do this,” you say, your voice cracking as you speak the words. you’re looking at him, into his eyes that almost seem to reflect the hurt you feel. 

he listens.

you tangle your fingers with his, using all four clasped hands to wipe your tears. “i need to run away so bad.”

“i’d love to take you with me,” he breathes, “but you know i can’t.”

you would smile, but you can’t. “i know.” you know too well. you lean back into his chest as he leans his head on yours, and wrap your arms around his waist firmly - as if he’s a lifeline. “i know.” 

johnny presses a kiss to your head and gently pats your back as you continue to sob, each choked cry shattering his heart even more.

2.9.2020

[happy birthday johnny, i love you]

you can never forget johnny - because of his big heart, yes, but also because of all the little things he’d do.

he’d constantly show up with small gifts at your door because he remembered something random you said one time - like the time you told him that you watched a lot of dora as a kid and that boots was your favorite character, and he bought you a mini-boots plushie at the airport months later because it reminded him of you. 

he’d send you videos of him kissing the camera repeatedly when he missed you, spamming your phone with “i love you so much” texts until you were giggling hysterically at his persistence in getting you to say it as many times as he was saying it. 

he’d be so eager to model for your photography or art, although you knew he probably wanted to be away from the camera on days he was off. johnny claimed that you taking a picture of him was different somehow - he loved to see how you saw him.

he’d slip one hand into your hair as you kissed, careful that you wouldn’t strain your neck because he was so much taller than you, and he’d wrap the other arm around your waist.

he’d bow deeply to your parents and would help them wash the dishes after each meal - although they told him not to since he was a guest - conversing smoothly with them until all of them were laughing at his stories. the true highlight, though, was slipping your hand into his clammy one at the end of the day as he confessed how nervous he’d been in case he slipped up in front of your parents. you would giggle, tippy-toe to press a kiss to his cheek, and tell him that wouldn’t happen. your parents adored him.

he’d drum his fingers in a specific pattern whenever he thought of you; the pattern that the both of you later found out was morse code for “my love.” johnny had the faintest memory of memorizing morse code in middle school, but hadn’t realized that it was still embedded in his subconsciousness. 

you had loved him all the more.

[10:47 pm]

“kiss me like you love me,” you breathe as you lean into johnny, his warm breath brushing over your lips as his hands gently take hold on your waist.

johnny’s eyes seem to kiss your eyes just as passionately as his lips kiss your lips - until your eyelids flutter shut under his insatiable dark brown gaze. his hands have made their way up your torso and are entangled in your hair, his long fingers softly holding your head as he leans down to meet his lips with yours. johnny’s mind pleads with him to savor this moment with slow, tender kisses upon your lips, but his heart races so fast that he can barely think.

johnny has been dreaming about this very moment since sophomore year of high school: the year he realized he did love his best friend. he had dreamt about this very moment every time you tucked your hair behind your ear; every time your mutual friends teased the two of you for bickering like an old married couple; every time you introduced johnny to your new boyfriend with a cute giggle and a peck johnny always wished was for himself; every time you wore his oversized light blue hoodie for heartbreak sleepovers, wrapped in his arms and crying over a movie and your breakup as he ran his hands over your hair comfortingly.

johnny has dreamt about this moment so often that he doesn’t understand how you can tell him to kiss you like he loves you - how you can be so oblivious to the fact that he’s loved you and your endearing, pink-cheeked smile for years on end.

johnny swallows back the three words clawing at his throat - begging to be let free just to be shattered into pieces - as he pulls you closer. “kiss me like you love me,” he repeats in a breath, and hopes you didn’t hear his voice cracking ever so slightly.

[11:05 am]

every time you and best friend!mark break into laughter at another stupid joke, both of you subconsciously smack best friend!johnny’s shoulder, causing johnny to playfully shout “ow!” as he leans back from the both of you.

[7:38 pm]

you and best friend!johnny watch the orange-pink sunset from the roof of his house, your head leaning on his chest. you’re sitting by his side, your legs across his lap and his arms resting on your legs. the two of you are enveloped by the fluffy grey blanket johnny stole from your house years ago and “accidentally” took back to korea. soft music plays from his phone a few feet away, the sound fading into the orange sky.

you haven’t done anything like this with johnny in years - much less even seen him in person in a while - because of johnny’s busy schedule and constant practice. so when johnny had finally gotten his first long vacation in years, he had decided to come see you. (to be fair, it was also to see his parents, but he promised you were big part of the reason he decided to come back to chicago rather than travel france with the rest of his members.)

johnny missed you more than you can imagine. johnny has always been an amazing listener, especially for his members - he is the one all the members go to if they have a problem they want to rant about. but whenever johnny needs to rant, he always calls you. and you listen to johnny, whether it’s 2 am or 2 pm - and he loves to do the same for you despite his busy schedule.

to johnny, you’re his best friend and favorite listener - his partner in crime, his go-to call for winter ice cream, his cooking buddy for messy aftermaths and ugly cakes, his most feared enemy in snowball fights, his favorite person to crack inside jokes with, his best human pillow for daytime naps.

and as johnny rests his head on yours, absentmindedly toying with your fingers as he murmurs whatever comes to mind, he knows that you’re genuinely listening to him and he feels as if he is finally, truly home.

[6:04 pm]

boyfriend!johnny’s hands wrap around the back of your neck as he kisses you, his thumb grazing the bottom of your ear and the tips of his fingers supporting your head. butterflies churn in your stomach, threatening to explode through your beating heart, and you can barely think even after your lips separate from his, looking up at him with blank, lovestruck eyes. johnny laughs his signature chuckle that makes his pretty brown eyes curve into crescent moons, and gently pulls you to him, large hands on your waist. he leans down to whisper, “i love you,” by your ear and laughs as your ears turn red - but his cheeks turn even redder when you swiftly peck his cheek with a starry-eyed smile.

[12:11 am]

johnny’s always been a great listener, and he’s always been there for you. you sob into his chest as he rubs circles into your back, murmuring “it’s okay, it’s okay” into your hair. 

“oh dear, who hurt you?” his eyes are filled with concern as he cups your face gently, his large warm fingers wiping away the fat teardrops that fall from your eyes as if they have a mind of their own. you don’t tell him, but johnny can tell from the look in your eyes. “it’s okay, you’re with me now. no one’s going to hurt you,” he murmurs, and you know it’s true. 

you hiccup and hug him tighter. johnny lets you soak his sweater with overflowing tears. you heave breaths as you try to suppress your tears, suddenly feeling bad that you’re putting this burden on johnny. “j-johnny, i-i’m sorry.” you hiccup again as tears flood your eyes.

“why are you apologizing? hey,” johnny says, trying to get your attention. he gently places his hands on both of your shoulders. “hey. look at me.” you break into a sob as soon as you meet his eyes. “come here,” he says, pulling you back into a hug. you feel so safe, so loved, so complete in his arms. you want to stay forever.

“i love you,” he says softly, warm hand wiping your tears. “i love you.” it’s so genuine, so real. you can’t stop crying, but you know you don’t have to stop in front of johnny. “you’re safe with me. i love you.”

[9.15PM] taeyong wishes that he could see you now.he misses your giggles whenever he did some weird shit,he missed your eyes full of wonder,your beautiful smile,and damn,just everything about you.he misses you even though you just left him from his apartment a few minutes ago,to go on your date with johnny,someone who he wished was him.

-🖇Johnny

[ Moments NCT 127 Realise They’re In Love With You ] -

AFAB Reader

Masterlist

➳ Taeil -

When you’re content with spending time with him, even with eight tag-alongs. Johnny and Jungwoo are in the centre of the living room making a fuss about something and it is enough to make everyone laugh. A quick look at you and Taeil realises that you’re already glancing his way and the fleeting moment your eyes meet is enough to cause warmth to swell in his chest. He knows he is one of the quieter members of the group and he often has nothing to say and yet, you look to him even in a room full of people. 

When you’re moving through a hoard of people and he feels your fingers cling to his as if you might get swept away if you let go. He takes great pride in knowing that you trust him to protect you, to care for you. He can tell you he loves you a hundred times over and it is still not enough. He’ll push through every crowd and gently guide you to his inside whenever you walk beside a busy road, all whilst holding your hand as if you might fly away. 

➳ Johnny -

When he wakes in the morning, the bed is empty. A quick check of his phone and he realises that it’s already ten o’clock and he’s suddenly grateful for you letting him have a lie-in. When he finally peels himself from the bed, he sees you sitting in the kitchen, nursing a coffee as you read through a magazine. You’re swamped in a hoodie that very much belongs to him and he can’t help but pause at the sight.

When you visit the SM Building to meet him, and his group mates, for a coffee. He sees you standing in the sunshine, wearing your prettiest sundress, happily chatting away to Haechan and the sight brings a definite smile to his face. You look so happy and so beautiful and for a moment, he falters. He’s faintly aware of someone, Mark probably, calling his name, but he’s unmoving, feeling soft for the scene ahead of him. 

When you’re curling yourself into his side and Johnny realises that Haechan has been slipping you extra drinks all evening. You’re tucked into the crook of his neck, entirely uncaring for the restaurant surroundings. You’re muttering something and when he leans closer to listen, he realises that you’re telling him just how much you love him. It’s with tired eyes that you look at him and he is unable to resist wrapping you beneath his arm, all he wants to do is take care of you. He’ll bundle you up in his jacket soon and guide you home. 

➳ Taeyong -

When he finally pries himself from the studio a couple of hours after midnight. He’d last received a reply from you half an hour ago and he assumes that you’ve long since fallen asleep. He stumbles through the dorm already half asleep, briefly acknowledging Doyoung in the kitchen, before he makes for his bed. It’s only when he flicks on the bedside light that he realises that you aren’t in your own apartment, but are curled up beneath his duvet. The sight immediately makes him pause because you’re just so soft and he hadn’t realised just how much he’d been silently wanting to see you and you seemed to know without him mentioning anything. 

When you agree to meet in the studio just to spend time together. He has a track to be working on and you are happy to just be in his company without disturbing him. This in itself is more than enough to bring a shy sense of appreciation from him. But, when you walk into the studio, two iced coffees in hand, his laugh is light and airy because he has two identical coffees sitting on his desk, one for each of you. He suddenly realises just how similar you are, how well you complement each other. 

➳ Yuta -

When you spend half an evening in the kitchen, pouring your heart into cooking his favourite dish from Japan. He offers to help and you politely decline, (probably for the best), insisting that he takes the time to rest instead. It’s when he takes the first bite and it’s as if he’s sat at his mother’s dining table and when he asks whether you had spoken to his family for the recipe, you flush slightly and turn your head away with the worry that you hadn’t replicated it too well. He insists that it’s just as wonderful.

When he’s deep in conversation with Taeyong and his friend warmly asks how you’re doing. Yuta appears to come alive as he discusses you, even sharing the story of the dish you’d spent so much time preparing for him. He tells Taeyong that it tasted just like home, and he suddenly realises that home isn’t a place after all. Maybe you’re home. 

➳ Doyoung -

When you seem to pick up on how he’s feeling before he’s even realised himself. After a hectic week of promotion, practice and everything else in-between, Doyoung is tense. When you place a hand on his shoulder, you feel his tight muscles. When he talks with Yuta, you hear the slight bite behind his words. Doyoung doesn’t realise until you’re forcing him to rest his head on your lap so you can run your fingers through his hair, and he suddenly feels drained. It’s a quiet conversation about your day to ground him in something other than his own work and it’s when his eyelids feel heavy that he turns to place a kiss on your wrist as a silent thank you.

➳ Jaehyun -

When you’re at a bar with Jaehyun and a few friends, some being his group mates. Jaehyun had been caught up in conversation - he’d been reluctant to leave your side given that you had only just been introduced to some of his closest friends. When he finally looks up from his conversation, however, he sees you across the space, your head tipped back with laughter at something Jungwoo has just said and Jaehyun is overcome with the feeling that maybe, this might just work out. You seemed to slip into the group as if you had known them as long as he had and you were kind, and confident, and friendly, but not too friendly. 

When he slowly opens the door to the bedroom he shares with Jungwoo. His roommate is out for the evening and Jaehyun had occupied himself with whatever Haechan had been watching in the living room whilst you freshened up with a shower. It’s after a soft knock that he opens the door. He sees you, dressed all in his clothing after his last minute persuasion to have you stay the night. There is music playing and you’re slowly moving around the little space, folding the clothes he’d thrown on the floor, even straightening Jungwoo’s duvet, and he almost doesn’t want to disturb you, let you know he’s there. He thinks of how wonderful a mother you would make. 

➳ Jungwoo -

When it is an ordinary Wednesday, nigh eight o’clock. The rain that has threatened all day has finally arrived, washing the city in grey. Jungwoo goes to the apartment building entrance to let you inside and when he opens the door, he sees you half-drenched but still smiling. You have thrown your jacket over your head, but your shirt is sodden. When Jungwoo reaches for you, the bare skin on your arms is cool to the touch and even so, you do not complain. In fact, you seem happier than ever, soaked through. He welcomes you inside and it is all laughter and doubling over. There is a teasing glint in your eye as you wrap yourself around him and when he laughs and half-heartedly tries to push you away, he figures that this is what love feels like. 

➳ Mark -

When you both collapse onto the bed at your apartment after a busy day exploring Seoul. It is early evening and the windows in your apartment allow golden sunlight to filter inside. They are open and a gentle breeze comes through. Mark knows that his schedule is full for the coming weeks and yet, spending time with you seems to make him completely forget about it. He looks at you, basking in the golden light and it is as if he has nowhere to be, but here. The feeling in his chest is warm, like the air, and time is irrelevant. He does not speak for a while and neither do you, content with carding your fingers through his hair.

When you finally turn to him, you trace your thumb over his cheek and the sensation has him closing his eyes if only to savour the feeling. For a while, it is as if he is only Mark, not Mark of NCT. Sometimes, the thought of ordinary is nice. When it is time for him to go, (he does share a room with a manager after all), you are gentle with your goodbye, as if the softness of the evening is clinging to the moment. You kiss his cheek as your final parting and send him on his way with a firm reminder of just how much you’re in love with him.

➳ Haechan - 

When he finds you sitting at the piano he so much likes to play. He sees your bowed head, your lower lip pulled beneath your teeth, as you try and replicate the ditty he had played for you earlier in the day. There is a knit in your brow and when you play a wrong note, you backtrack with the same determination that he does. Even when he moves to your side and you make enough space on the piano stool for him to share, you do not stop trying to play. At least until he offers to show you once more and it is when he finishes and looks at you that he sees your eyes, wide with awe. He lets the moment pass by teasing you a little, something about being with him for his talented fingers. Inside he knows he is young and he has an entire lifetime ahead of him and he wonders if he is spoilt for having found this feeling so soon. 

Pairing: Johnny x AFAB Reader

Warnings: 18 + Content & Swearing, Nickname ‘Kid’ 

Masterlist

Johnny slowly tips his head in Mark’s direction as soon as the conversation about dating comes up as if it is a habit. You suppose that he really believes you’ll end up together eventually. He doesn’t tell you that it is Mark, always Mark and only Mark he points to because he doesn’t trust the other members of his group to not fall in love with you. Mark knows too much about him, about how he feels, to look at you in any way that isn’t friendship. But still, Johnny is unable to bring himself around to the idea of suggesting himself, as much as he wants to, as much as it pains him not to. So Mark is a safe alternative and he can continue playing the game, gently asking about your dating situation, before teasingly pointing out Mark as if it were the reason he asked in the first place. 

The same thought passes through your mind on every occasion. Mark is just, well, Mark. He’s attractive, you can say that with some certainty. And sweet, and soft, with a mean streak you’re sure arises at just the right times. He really is everything anyone should ever want for in a relationship and sure, he’s one of your closest friends. But, he isn’t Johnny. 

When you lift your eyebrows and shake your head, before diverting your attention to something else, the cycle begins again. Johnny does it all as if there isn’t a photograph of you tucked into his wallet, as if everyone does not know he is fighting off his feelings for you, except you. He watches as you turn away, he runs a hand through his hair and wonders how much longer he can continue like this, how much longer will you wait for him. 

When it is time for Johnny to leave, he stands, ruffling a hand through your hair and the movement is a stark reminder of the invisible line that is drawn between you. He says, ‘Hey Kid, I’ll see you later.’

He leaves with a heaviness in his heart that has become uncomfortably familiar. He tries to keep himself in check, telling himself you’re a friend he cannot afford to lose. Just a friend who doesn’t know what she wants. As he walks through the hallway, he hears you laughing at something and he steels himself. Mark, it should be Mark. 

It is three days later that he next sees you and it is three days too long. Between his busy schedule and your own, it is only when he finds a spare afternoon that he is able to invite you to tag along for coffee. You agree to meet outside the SM building, just as you have a million times before. As Johnny’s group slowly filter out from practice, he watches you through the glass, chatting to Haechan as if nothing in the world might disturb you. For a moment he wonders if he ought to nudge Haechan toward you, he’s a good one too and he would treat you just how you deserve. Something about the thought doesn’t sit right though and he quickly lets it go. He is faintly aware of Mark calling his name and he turns to meet him. 

‘Johnny, come on,’ Mark sighs with a shake of his head and a smile, ‘Just ask her out man.’ 

Johnny sighs too. Before he can protest, Mark is holding the door for him and he follows him into the sunshine, hearing your laugh. When you walk along the street, the curling of Johnny’s arm around your waist is too natural to be comfortable and if he hadn’t done it a hundred times before, it would stir butterflies in your stomach. 

At the coffeehouse, you insist on collecting the order from the countertop. Johnny’s line of sight follows you across the space, taking in the picture of you in the pretty periwinkle dress you save for when the weather is warm. He watches as the barista catches you in conversation and whilst you wait for the coffees, it is all laughter and friendly chatter. Johnny is familiar with the feeling that inches its way along his spine, pinning his shoulders. He wants to be angry with himself, how can he allow himself to feel such jealousy when he daren’t take the step he so wants to. 

When you return to the table, taking three trips to carry the coffees, Johnny gestures to the barista left behind. ‘He seemed nice,’ he mutters, the cheeriness to his tone entirely fabricated. 

‘Who?’ Is your reply, as if you hadn’t so much as noticed the guy, let alone his flirting.

Johnny’s laugh is genuine as he listens to you. ‘That guy. The one who just tried to get your number for fifteen minutes.’ 

‘Oh, right,’ You half-heartedly shrug, ‘Sure, he was.’ 

When Johnny glances at you, he realises that you are already looking at him. There is an almost unreadable expression across your face, but Johnny can almost read your mind, cursing him out for not making the move you’ve been silently begging for all this time. He shakes his head to dislodge the thought, ‘Not to worry Kid, there’s always someone else.’

Part of him wonders if he’ll ever push you far enough to confront him directly, but you brush off his comment with a soft smile and take a mouthful of your coffee. Just as the question of your dating situation, the moment falls away and Johnny is left with the same feeling of emptiness as before. As much as you laugh and lean together over the table, he is weighted by the simmering feeling that you aren’t really his. 

After leaving the coffeehouse, he is insistent on walking you to your apartment building. He has an answer for every one of your protests - he doesn’t care that it is the middle of the day, that there are a hundred other people moving along the street. He isn’t ready to say goodbye yet. He doesn’t tell you that he might never forgive himself if he simply waves and watches you step into the crowd, he thinks someone might fall in love and whisk you away. So he carries your cardigan over his shoulder and his hand hovers over your waist whenever people brush by until you are nearly home. 

He follows you into your apartment, grateful for the relief that the air-con provides. You immediately make for the refrigerator to pour two glasses of water and Johnny leans against the countertop. He’s told you a million times how much he likes your apartment and you can only suppose it’s because it is blissfully quiet in comparison to his shared bedroom with Haechan. 

‘It’s so hot,’ Johnny sighs, peeling the back of his shirt from his skin. He goes to say something more but catches sight of the hem of your dress flitting dangerously high against the back of your legs as you reach upwards for a glass. The picture casts any thought from his mind. 

He thinks back to the coffeehouse. Maybe it is because the city is sweltering, maybe the sight of an inch of extra skin, but he presses the matter. ‘That guy was into you, why don’t you give someone a chance?’

He hears you scoff as you hold a glass out to him, ‘I’m not dating Mark, Johnny.’ 

Johnny smiles at you, but his tone is serious, desperate. ‘I wasn’t going to suggest Mark. But, you know, you deserve to find someone.’ 

‘Johnny.’

The mention of his name is meant to serve as a warning, he knows and he stays quiet. As he watches you, he realises that you look tired, not physically, but tired of the sticky, complicated situation you share. He thinks about taking his leave, but you seem to read his mind and speak as to stop him. 

‘Johnny, you know why.’

It is quiet again, save for the sounds filtering through the open kitchen window. Johnny meets your eyes and sees that your gaze is firm, unmoving, daring even. The expression is in contrast to your periwinkle dress, the laughter and the friendly affection he associates with you. He hears you acknowledge a million different moments all at once - the longing glances, the touches too familiar for friendship, the unspoken commitment to one another.

‘Kid,’ Johnny manages after a while, ‘You don’t know what you’re asking.’

Johnny is faintly aware of a shift in the atmosphere. He watches your easy-going manner twist into something more serious. The laughter that meets his ears is light and airy. 

‘No, Johnny,’ You protest, turning away from him in the small space. ‘I do.’

He watches as you step away, putting a few extra paces between you, a hand running through your hair. He can see your pinned shoulders and hear the waver of your voice. After a moment, you turn and make for him and he wonders how long this has been brewing.

‘You always do this Johnny, call me Kid and push me away,’ the words are punctuated by the press of your finger into his chest. 

Johnny looks to your face, but you seem unwilling to meet his eye. You are standing dangerously close. Your hand has fallen to your side in defeat and he can almost feel the heat burning across your cheeks, hot enough to cut through the summer air. He sighs heavily and for a second he panics the movement might cause you to flee, but you seem frozen. Slowly, cautiously, Johnny raises a hand to your cheek and gently guides you to look at him. He finally sees the tears that have gathered at the edges of your eyes and the sight causes his heart to lurch.

‘Kid,’ He murmurs, thumb softly moving over your skin. Your eyes are wide and waiting and Johnny sighs, ‘Fuck. I can’t break your heart.’ 

For a second you wonder if Johnny is going to do just that, whether you ought to have stuck with the silly unspoken game of before. But the sudden pull of his hand is slow, but firm, as if certain you might fly away if he lets go. His mouth is desperate against yours and strong and his other hand ghosts over your waist, bunching the material of your dress in his fingers. Before he can begin to question himself, you stumble forward until your chests are almost touching. It is a messy affair of clashing tongues and desperate fingers, at least until you break apart to catch your breath and then the reality of the situation seems to seep in. Johnny is standing closer than he has ever before, almost pressing you against the kitchen cabinet and his chest is lifting with each inhale of breath. 

You force yourself to speak first, but only manage a quiet whisper of his name. Johnny winces, ‘Y/N, this isn’t how I wanted this to go.’ 

Johnny sighs when he feels your mouth barely scratch over his neck and he slowly guides you against the countertop. The press of his hips against your own is slow, giving you time to slip away if you want to. The soft noise of appreciation that escapes from your chest at the first experimental roll of his hips is enough for him to continue. His hand moves from your waist, trailing to the top of your thigh to feel the bare skin beneath your sundress and as he shifts, you’re able to feel the growing hardness beneath his jeans. 

He is able to feel the lift of your mouth into a smile and he draws back to glance at your face. The smile across your features sends Johnny’s blood rushing southwards quicker than any amount of kissing and he finally allows himself to relax a little. Something about the seriousness of the earlier situation, of your firm tone and the sight of you moving away from him had set him on edge. 

This time it is him who trails his mouth against the sensitive skin of your neck, relishing the sudden exhales of breath each nip of his teeth draws from your throat. He is conscious of your wandering fingers, slipping beneath the hem of his t-shirt, slowly moving against his abdomen, daring to shift beneath his belt buckle. As much as he wants you to continue, the feeling sobers him and he pulls himself away, the loss of contact elicits a whimper from you that almost fractures his resolve. 

‘Y/N,’ Johnny smiles softly, his thumb tracing shapes on your hip, ‘I just don’t want to mess this up with you.’

His words cause your heart to flutter. If only you might tell him just how head over heels in love with him you are. ‘Johnny, I know. Why do you think I never said anything. I’d rather have you as a friend than not at all.’ 

Johnny’s smile grows a little wider. ‘Right. I just worry about you, about being with an idol and -.’ 

The gentle press of your hand against his chest breaks his train of thought. ‘Johnny, stop thinking.’

It is with something between adoration and absolute desire that he looks at you as you approach. He desperately tells himself to ingrain the image of you into his mind, standing in your kitchen, awash in the sunshine pouring through the window. Johnny’s hands reach for your waist and threaten to move beneath the hem of your dress and he is shameless as he presses himself against you. Your hands find purchase beneath his t-shirt, fingernails raking over his bare skin and it feels different touching Johnny like this, but better than you might have imagined. 

Johnny is soft and gentle, letting you guide him to your bedroom by his hand. At the foot of your bed, you look at him in an unspoken plea and he silently takes control, pushing you toward the duvet before settling himself between your thighs. He moves slowly, but with great purpose - grazing his teeth beneath your ear, spreading his hand on your thigh and forcefully pressing his hips against your own. The press of your nails into his shoulder blade and the breathy whines leaving your mouth drive him on, pushing him to pull the t-shirt from his back. His fingers slip beneath the straps of your summer dress and as he fiddles with them he pauses, ‘We can stop at any point, Y/N.’

He hears your huff and feels the tug of your fingers against the ends of his hair. When he finally removes your dress, he sighs against your neck and you relish in the feeling of bare skin against bare skin. Johnny raises himself onto his hands to have himself a shameless glance of your figure, ‘Kid,’ he mutters, shaking his head with a smirk playing at the edges of his mouth. 

He kisses along your stomach, on the inside of your thighs, dangerously close to your underwear. The movement riles you up exactly as he desires and he feels you fidget beneath him, whining his name. He hooks a finger beneath the waistband, but does not immediately move, giving you time to push him away, but you only stutter his name once more. Johnny is slow as he slips your underwear along your thighs, taking great enjoyment in the motion before he throws it to the side. He, at last, places his mouth where you most want him, smirking as he feels your hands move through his hair as his tongue flattens and rolls between your thighs, his breath fanning against your heat. His hand splays against your stomach to keep you in place and for a while, he is captivated by the sound of his name falling from your mouth and the tremble of your thighs. 

Slowly, steadily, he draws you to the edge, responding to each pull of his hair and jerk of your hips, until your thighs shake against his shoulders. He only stops when your fingers slip to his jaw and gently pull him away and he finally takes in your appearance. Johnny knew you were beautiful, but something about the sight of you, wide-eyed and needy for him strikes something a little deeper. He is aware of your fingers scooting along his abdomen, fiddling with the buckle of his belt. 

Johnny is big in every sense of the word - big as he nestles between your thighs, but even bigger when he lines himself up at your entrance. ‘Johnny,’ you mutter between kisses. 

At the mention of his name, he looks to your face and pauses, faintly aware of how achingly hard he is against your thigh. You look at him with hooded eyes, ‘It’s been a while.’

At first, Johnny just nods, before he lets out a breathy chuckle and his head falls forward to your shoulder, ‘I guess that’s my fault.’ 

Your laughter is a firm reminder of just how much he wants this, how much he wants you, the sex and the laughter. When he starts to slip inside, slowly because he wants to take the utmost care of you, he can feel your nails pressing crescent shapes into his shoulder. Part of him thinks he ought to be worried about someone seeing them, part of him wants everyone to know that you’re his, maybe he’ll walk around the dorm shirtless just to show Haechan, Mark, and everyone, that you’re only his. 

Johnny winces as he bottoms out, the feeling of you squeezing him making him want to curse himself for waiting so long to give in to his feelings. He furrows his brow and makes certain that you’re comfortable before he moves and you nod desperately, whilst pulling at his shoulders, searching for something to ground yourself with. Johnny smirks against your skin, moving with a little more force, reaching so deep that it feels as though he’s rearranging your insides. The feeling is so overwhelming that Johnny’s name falls from your mouth over and over again whilst you helplessly hold onto him. 

It is quiet as you finish, Johnny’s thumb tracing over your cheek, his breath fanning against your neck and he is slow to move away. He shifts to lie on his back and pulls you close, resting your chin on his chest as his fingers trail along the skin of your back. ‘Hey, Y/N,’ he murmurs, drawing your attention to his face, ‘Can I take you on a proper date tomorrow? Wine and dine, even though we’ve done things out of order.’

Johnny’s heart tightens at the sincerity behind your smile. There is a pause before you sigh, ‘I was actually thinking of asking Mark out tomorrow.’

Johnny immediately groans and fidgets beneath you, pressing his fingers into his eyes. ‘You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?’

Whilst you shake your head just to agonise him a little more, the sound of your laughter is enough - he can take a lifetime of teasing if it means he can grow old hearing it.