Neil "either Way, We're Not Alone / I'll Find A New Place To Be From / A Haunted House With A Picket

neil "either way, we're not alone / i'll find a new place to be from / a haunted house with a picket fence / to float around and ghost my friends / no, i'm not afraid to disappear / the billboard said "the end is near" / i turned around, there was nothing there / yeah, i guess the end is here" josten

andrew's such a fake idgafer no way anyone ever thought this man was apathetic or soulless like...he cares so fucking much??? he beat up four grown men trying to hurt nicky (as a teenager, btw). he enrolled them all in psu so aaron could become a doctor. he threatened nicky at knifepoint not to hurt or touch neil (and this wasn't about neil specifically this was because he's been there, he's been a victim, and he wouldn't want anyone else, even this strange know-nothing kid who he finds suspicious, to experience it). he says "spoil the ending for me, did you kill him?" when renee told him about the man who raped her and she can tell he cares about her answer; he cared to know if she escaped the man who abused her even though he barely knew her at all at the time. he punched matt (a guy like twice his size) for hitting kevin. he nearly choked allison to death for slapping aaron. he freaked out so badly when neil was kidnapped; he literally strangled kevin, lapped the campus multiple times, went through his bag and phone, checked hospital records, felt fear for the first time in years...and everyone's still just like "oh yeah he doesn't have a soul." what??? he yells at someone for the first time when bee has a heart attack. he didn't tell bee about neil even though he told her about so much else because he didn't want to risk her disapproval. he had to sit in silence for a few minutes just processing how easily aaron and bee accepted his relationship with neil. he said "everyone knows now, bee" after they all found out about dr*ke's assault because he couldn't stomach the fact that he thought his loved ones wouldn't trust him to protect them now that they thought he couldn't protect himself. he bought neil armbands to match his so he wouldn't have to see the scars his father's people made on his arms. he ran to neil like all of hell was at his heels when riko threatened him. who the fuck ever thought he was apathetic or soulless.

neil is so much of an instigator that he causes problems in order to fix them.

i think some people need to understand that saying a character is an objectively terrible person is not robbing a character of nuance.

it's the way andreil could never have been casual or just a fling the way neil makes it out to be. it was never just physical. it was never just hate sex. because, they were literally in love with each other before they got together and them starting a relationship (or "nothing") doesn't actually change anything except sealing the deal and making it physical too. they actually know and understand each other maybe better than anyone else, and it might have just started out as physical attraction for andrew but you know that changed after he realised neil was more, neil was interesting, he trusted andrew despite everyone telling him not to. he took andrew at face value and was the first person to simply ask him. he respected andrew's boundaries and didn't consider andrew a monster or a psychopath for reinforcing them and protecting his loved ones. he kept his promises and fought in the face of all the odds stacked against him, all the monsters and abusers he's had to face on his tail and he refused to give up even though it might have been smarter to, safer to. and for neil, andrew is the first person to really understand him. even when neil gives his half-truth to andrew after that first trip to columbia, andrew doesn't flinch in the face of it. he doesn't look away, instead he looks at neil with "perfect understanding". andrew has felt the same desperation neil is feeling right then. he's been there, hanging on by a thread and sure he's going to die before he turns twenty, and he isn't scared of neil's past or the people after him. he tells neil to stay, and maybe that's the first time neil's ever heard anyone say that to him. andrew's the first person ever to really give neil a home, and if you think about it, he's also neil's first real friend (much as they'll both deny that they're friends). and also just andrew as a person: he is labelled as monstrous and out of control but neil knows what real monsters are, and andrew isn't one. andrew asks "yes or no?" and keeps all his promises, holds up all his deals, protects those he holds dear to him. he pretends not to care, but neil knows, he cares so much. how could anyone ever think they were casual.