It's The Way Andreil Could Never Have Been Casual Or Just A Fling The Way Neil Makes It Out To Be. It

it's the way andreil could never have been casual or just a fling the way neil makes it out to be. it was never just physical. it was never just hate sex. because, they were literally in love with each other before they got together and them starting a relationship (or "nothing") doesn't actually change anything except sealing the deal and making it physical too. they actually know and understand each other maybe better than anyone else, and it might have just started out as physical attraction for andrew but you know that changed after he realised neil was more, neil was interesting, he trusted andrew despite everyone telling him not to. he took andrew at face value and was the first person to simply ask him. he respected andrew's boundaries and didn't consider andrew a monster or a psychopath for reinforcing them and protecting his loved ones. he kept his promises and fought in the face of all the odds stacked against him, all the monsters and abusers he's had to face on his tail and he refused to give up even though it might have been smarter to, safer to. and for neil, andrew is the first person to really understand him. even when neil gives his half-truth to andrew after that first trip to columbia, andrew doesn't flinch in the face of it. he doesn't look away, instead he looks at neil with "perfect understanding". andrew has felt the same desperation neil is feeling right then. he's been there, hanging on by a thread and sure he's going to die before he turns twenty, and he isn't scared of neil's past or the people after him. he tells neil to stay, and maybe that's the first time neil's ever heard anyone say that to him. andrew's the first person ever to really give neil a home, and if you think about it, he's also neil's first real friend (much as they'll both deny that they're friends). and also just andrew as a person: he is labelled as monstrous and out of control but neil knows what real monsters are, and andrew isn't one. andrew asks "yes or no?" and keeps all his promises, holds up all his deals, protects those he holds dear to him. he pretends not to care, but neil knows, he cares so much. how could anyone ever think they were casual.

something i think about all the time is genuinely how smart and perceptive of a person neil is. like obv it's a running in joke within the fandom that he's oblivious asf sometimes, esp about emotional and relational things but i feel like it's a pretty large part of his character just how much he sees people, especially the people he's close to. it's also what makes him so good with words, and how he always seems to know what to say, because he's so good at taking stock of situations and people. why did the riko roast (all 29390431 of them) land so perfectly and hit riko's sore spot so well? because neil could see right through riko. even though they didn't even know each other, neil knows about riko's inferiority complex, his family issues (esp regarding his father) and he goes right for the throat. obviously his conversations with andrew are also another focal point because the reason why andrew genuinely seems to enjoy conversing with neil isn't just because he has a crush on him (tho that's definitely a part of it) it's the fact that neil understands andrew as a person, and knows where to push and where to give ground in the conversation. he asks all the right questions and almost always comes to the correct conclusions with the information andrew gives him. he understands and sees andrew so profoundly and that's why so many of his words hit andrew harder than they would if it came from someone else. when he says "i want to see you lose control" it's him telling andrew that he knows andrew isn't the out-of-control psycho everyone paints him as. it's him telling andrew that he knows andrew keeps his emotions to himself, but he isn't afraid of them. when neil tells andrew "if it means losing you, then no" he's communicating to andrew that even tho andrew promised to protect neil, neil isn't willing for andrew to come to harm in his stead and in order to protect him. he cares more about andrew than he does about keeping himself safe, and that's probably the first time anyone's ever expressed that towards him (aaron probably feels the same way, only he's never vocalised it so clearly). and i think if you really want proof of just how smart neil is with his words and his understanding of the situations he's in, just go read the negotiation scene with ichirou. he's almost entirely honest during that scene and says everything he feels in the ice-cold manner of a wesninski, which is what he's trying to convince ichirou he is. while we don't know exactly what convinced ichirou, neil's persuasion definitely plays a part in it. he knows what ichirou wants, and he knows the right angle to push where he can just make it out alive and fine. even just the scene after baltimore when he thanks wymack for taking a chance on him, he just has a way with words, like he isn't a very emotional person, but he conveys all his feelings so well in the way he speaks and what he says. and despite everyone saying he's a pathological liar, i genuinely think he's one of the most honest characters in the series.

aaron saying "neil isn't family, not with the way you look at him" further cemented my STRONG belief that even tho andrew doesn't verbally express his feelings a lot and is described as being deadpan he has the BIGGEST heart eyes for neil "pretty boy pipe dream" josten.

aftg pjo au what is everyone's cabins. i feel like neil is ares, jeremy is apollo, kevin is nike, allison is aphrodite, renee is athena, aaron and andrew are nemesis, nicky is iris, jean is hecate, matt is demeter, dan is nike.

andrew is so real for thinking neil is a hallucination cos now that we have outsider pov on him it's actually insane that he's a real person. like this is neil josten: he's the prettiest boy you've ever met. he's the runaway son of a serial killer. he has a million dollars but is afraid of spending money. he folds his clothes a specific way so he can tell when someone's gone through his stuff. he keeps a stalker's journal on the two greatest exy players of all time. he wears coloured contacts and they're brown. he paid a busboy $100 to knock him out cold. he insulted a celebrity athlete on live tv after trying to keep a low profile. he says he's trying to stay alive while running towards death like it's a race. he mouths off to the mafia. he respects your boundaries and is the first person ever to take you at face value and not consider you an out of control psychopath. he orders hits on your abusers. he has the most electric blue eyes you've ever seen. he looks great in clubbing clothes but dresses like he's homeless. he insults someone for their "intricate and endless daddy issues" while his father is a convicted mobster and serial killer. he didn't give a fuck when his teammate was killed. everyone seems to like him even though it's clear he's hiding a million secrets. he doesn't catch on to the many many hints you're giving him. he calls you out not for being a danger to others but for being a danger to yourself. he thinks you should be protected as well as trusting you to protect him (and you think, how can someone be a victim and a protector?). he doesn't give a flying fuck what literally anyone thinks about him. he comes back from being waterboarded and tortured and abused for weeks (to protect you) and is still as feisty and bitchy as before. except now he's a redhead and has many more scars. he is possibly the first person to ever make the active decision to protect you. he's willing to put himself in harm's way again and again and again so he won't lose you. he always has a cigarette but he never smokes. he says "you're not actually a sociopath are you?" and "the next time someone calls you soulless i might have to fight them". even though he's messy and a little oblivious he's sees you. he might be the only person to ever want you off your drugs. he wants to see you lose control, is aware that you're not out of control, you're actually so controlled and restrained all of the time and he wants to see you feel something, he wants you to be angry, be angry at him. he riles you up on purpose to see you show emotion, feel something. he's a runner and yet he's still possibly the bravest person you've ever met. he gets kidnapped and comes back even more bruised and battered than before and he's still a mouthy little shit who bitches at the press and cuts deals with the yakuza. he's most of the reason why the worst team in the nation ends up winning championships. he shoves a guy clean off his feet because they body checked you. he punched celebrity athlete riko moriyama in public, for you. he threatens him, for you. he's almost killed on live tv. he mouths off to the fbi. he watches the (second) best exy player in the world get shot. he also watches his father, notorious serial killer and gangster, get shot in front of him. and he laughs. he smiles. he kisses you and is never gonna run again and he's free and he wants to be with you, he wants you.