Sometimes I Just Smile And Think About Andrew Being Helplessly Charmed By Neil's Messiness. His Tendency

sometimes i just smile and think about andrew being helplessly charmed by neil's messiness. his tendency to run his mouth at the worst times to the worst people. picking fights and booking it immediately. telling people exactly what he thinks of them. turning andrew's own words against him. his witty wordplay and easy back-and-forth with andrew, when andrew is usually so slow to converse with anyone. just. andrew being in love with neil.

andrew "i'll drive you home / you drive me crazy / but that's not gonna stop me / i'll call you out / you call me "baby" / but that's not gonna stop me / from lying to my therapist" minyard

andrew is so real for thinking neil is a hallucination cos now that we have outsider pov on him it's actually insane that he's a real person. like this is neil josten: he's the prettiest boy you've ever met. he's the runaway son of a serial killer. he has a million dollars but is afraid of spending money. he folds his clothes a specific way so he can tell when someone's gone through his stuff. he keeps a stalker's journal on the two greatest exy players of all time. he wears coloured contacts and they're brown. he paid a busboy $100 to knock him out cold. he insulted a celebrity athlete on live tv after trying to keep a low profile. he says he's trying to stay alive while running towards death like it's a race. he mouths off to the mafia. he respects your boundaries and is the first person ever to take you at face value and not consider you an out of control psychopath. he orders hits on your abusers. he has the most electric blue eyes you've ever seen. he looks great in clubbing clothes but dresses like he's homeless. he insults someone for their "intricate and endless daddy issues" while his father is a convicted mobster and serial killer. he didn't give a fuck when his teammate was killed. everyone seems to like him even though it's clear he's hiding a million secrets. he doesn't catch on to the many many hints you're giving him. he calls you out not for being a danger to others but for being a danger to yourself. he thinks you should be protected as well as trusting you to protect him (and you think, how can someone be a victim and a protector?). he doesn't give a flying fuck what literally anyone thinks about him. he comes back from being waterboarded and tortured and abused for weeks (to protect you) and is still as feisty and bitchy as before. except now he's a redhead and has many more scars. he is possibly the first person to ever make the active decision to protect you. he's willing to put himself in harm's way again and again and again so he won't lose you. he always has a cigarette but he never smokes. he says "you're not actually a sociopath are you?" and "the next time someone calls you soulless i might have to fight them". even though he's messy and a little oblivious he's sees you. he might be the only person to ever want you off your drugs. he wants to see you lose control, is aware that you're not out of control, you're actually so controlled and restrained all of the time and he wants to see you feel something, he wants you to be angry, be angry at him. he riles you up on purpose to see you show emotion, feel something. he's a runner and yet he's still possibly the bravest person you've ever met. he gets kidnapped and comes back even more bruised and battered than before and he's still a mouthy little shit who bitches at the press and cuts deals with the yakuza. he's most of the reason why the worst team in the nation ends up winning championships. he shoves a guy clean off his feet because they body checked you. he punched celebrity athlete riko moriyama in public, for you. he threatens him, for you. he's almost killed on live tv. he mouths off to the fbi. he watches the (second) best exy player in the world get shot. he also watches his father, notorious serial killer and gangster, get shot in front of him. and he laughs. he smiles. he kisses you and is never gonna run again and he's free and he wants to be with you, he wants you.

neil "either way, we're not alone / i'll find a new place to be from / a haunted house with a picket fence / to float around and ghost my friends / no, i'm not afraid to disappear / the billboard said "the end is near" / i turned around, there was nothing there / yeah, i guess the end is here" josten

andrew's such a fake idgafer no way anyone ever thought this man was apathetic or soulless like...he cares so fucking much??? he beat up four grown men trying to hurt nicky (as a teenager, btw). he enrolled them all in psu so aaron could become a doctor. he threatened nicky at knifepoint not to hurt or touch neil (and this wasn't about neil specifically this was because he's been there, he's been a victim, and he wouldn't want anyone else, even this strange know-nothing kid who he finds suspicious, to experience it). he says "spoil the ending for me, did you kill him?" when renee told him about the man who raped her and she can tell he cares about her answer; he cared to know if she escaped the man who abused her even though he barely knew her at all at the time. he punched matt (a guy like twice his size) for hitting kevin. he nearly choked allison to death for slapping aaron. he freaked out so badly when neil was kidnapped; he literally strangled kevin, lapped the campus multiple times, went through his bag and phone, checked hospital records, felt fear for the first time in years...and everyone's still just like "oh yeah he doesn't have a soul." what??? he yells at someone for the first time when bee has a heart attack. he didn't tell bee about neil even though he told her about so much else because he didn't want to risk her disapproval. he had to sit in silence for a few minutes just processing how easily aaron and bee accepted his relationship with neil. he said "everyone knows now, bee" after they all found out about dr*ke's assault because he couldn't stomach the fact that he thought his loved ones wouldn't trust him to protect them now that they thought he couldn't protect himself. he bought neil armbands to match his so he wouldn't have to see the scars his father's people made on his arms. he ran to neil like all of hell was at his heels when riko threatened him. who the fuck ever thought he was apathetic or soulless.

i think some people need to understand that saying a character is an objectively terrible person is not robbing a character of nuance.