Hob Looking At Dream: He Is So Big And Mysterious And Dumb And One Day I'm Gonna Top Him

Hob looking at Dream: He is so big and mysterious and dumb and one day I'm gonna top him

I like to think that in the hope au (or at the very least my version of it) Hope and Morpheus would have had more frequent meetings than just every century, that is until "The Jesus Incident" in which our good friend Hope makes one slip-up after another and trips his way into trouble only a faked death could (kinda) solve

Hey who wants a Star Wars/Bridgerton crossover? Too bad, you're getting one because I finished S2 the other day and I'm having Thoughts about "Regency but actual historicity only matters when it gives us cause for drama" and, of course, Ahsoka Tano.

(You probably don't need to have watched Bridgerton to understand this.)

We take some post-war no-66 AU Disaster Trio+Padme-and-the-twins And have them do a 'diplomacy' visit to a rather old-fashioned planet that was hit by Separatists (mostly they set up a base in Antarctica, but a few ships did get shot down over populated areas so...) and the sapient population is mostly humans that have been cut off from the rest of the galaxy for so long that they didn't know other planets were even inhabited, let alone so widely.

Now that they know, they'd like to trade, etc. The safest way to do that, in order to do things like 'acquire spaceships and not be raided by space pirates' is to reach out to the recovering galactic republic.

For the purposes of plot, we'll say that Earth (Terra) does have some raw materials that are useful for whatever reason. IDK. Space needs all the coal they can get for raw carbon to make bacta or some similar nonsense.

Obviously, they need to be assessed to see if they can abide by Republic law in order to be viable to trade with and gain ship access etc. This is complicated by the fact that there is not a singular planetary government, but many, many, many fractured ones. Most of the bigger ones appear to have gotten that way through imperial conquest, which is... not great. The solution is to send some senators and jedi to make overtures to multiple governments, convince them to hold some sort of global congress (proto-UN) in order to set up at least a representative body that the Galactic Republic can interact with, in order to do things like Make America (and many others) Stop Doing A Slavery.

Padme, bringing along her former-Jedi husband Anakin (and through him, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, who are there as The Jedi, since Anakin isn't officially a Jedi anymore, because he has a wife and children, and also some clones there as support, and a few handmaidens), is the Senator chosen to go to Regency England.

Who, since the king is... not well (he's old and has days where he thinks he's forty or thirty or twenty again, due dementia or Alzheimer's or something), is ruled primarily by Bridgerton's interpretation of Queen Charlotte, who dresses a few decades out of style purely to be dramatic and extra af in 1800s court dress, and is also mixed race, which has led to Bridgerton-the-show's England being racially egalitarian, even though the classism is still a huge issue.

Anyway, this is Queen Charlotte:

The core of the awkward plot is that in order to get the queen to work with them, they have to play by her rules and engage with London's court games, with all the ballroom dances and promenade, etc.

Since Ahsoka is Of A Marriagable Age, she has to attend things, and dance with people, and she can't just tell people that Jedi Don't Marry (and she's a Jedi again, she's finishing her padawanhood with Obi-Wan, the war is over and she's back and she is going to be a knight, dammit) because that would ruin Queen Charlotte's fun, so she has to play along for at least a few weeks.

There is a lot of Hot Gossip about how she's... well, she's not human, sure, but her brother seems to be wealthy, so maybe the dowry is good? And for anyone who wants to explore, marrying her would be a ticket off planet! Ahsoka at one point tells everyone that any man who wants to marry her needs to beat her at fencing, arm wrestling, or straight up brawling. Anakin and Obi-Wan and Padme all approve, and the Queen thinks it's hilarious so nobody can like... stop her.

Much drama is had about her wanting to just bring along one of the troopers as her socially-necessary escort to things, because those are men! Who could take advantage of a young lady like herself! Someone does try to get her alone for an entrapment plot but when people walk in on them as planned, she's got him in an armbar and refuses to explain why but. Whatever was happening, it wasn't that kind of inappropriate.

Eventually the Queen deliberately lets slip that actually, Jedi can't marry, and all of the money in Skywalker's hands is actually Amidala's (there might be some switcheroos going on where people don't realize that Padme's the senator instead of Anakin, because gender things in Regency England, and also she's definitely swapping out with the handmaidens to get servant secrets), and so if anyone wants a dowry, it'll have to be by getting her good favor, not just Skywalker and Kenobi's.

Something something "but you're a general, Kenobi, shouldn't you be a man of wealth and taste, like all of our great military leaders?" "...we're monks." (Various marriage-minded mamas try to get their daughters into his affections. They do not succeed. Anakin eventually drops a joke that if Obi-Wan was very going to marry, it would have been to Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalore, who is definitely still alive here, and who has basically proposed to him twice, and the instances were twenty years apart, and since that hasn't happened, Obi-Wan definitely isn't marrying, ever.)

Someone asks Ahsoka whom she would marry if she did have to follow Regency England rules, where she's got to marry Up, and she lists off just. Boys that she's managed to save the lives of, since apparently she can only marry a boy with these rules.

1. Lux Bonteri (Anakin counters that she's too good for him)

2. The Prince of Mon Cala (shot down because togruta and Mon Calamari can't procreate, and an heir is necessary for Regency rules, which they are required to follow here)

3. Korkie Kryze (Anakin decides this is the least objectionable option)

Ahsoka finishes by saying that if she had to marry but didn't have to follow Regency Rules, she'd just marry, like, Rex or something. Rex gives her a fist bump for this declaration.

"Whaddaya say, Rexter, you wanna get hitched?" "Well, I don't have anything else on my schedule for tomorrow. Senator Amidala can probably officiate. Think I can get a lightsaber if I'm married to a Jedi?" "Worth a shot!"

(They don't actually get married but man do I love Rex and Ahsoka being Absolute Besties.)

There are also Bridgerton-character-specific plots in my head that probably don't make sense unless you've seen the show but I'll describe a few with hopefully enough detail to work for the people who are only here for Star Wars.

This is Colin Bridgerton. He is the third son of a Viscount (though his father died, so now the Viscount is his eldest brother), and his big thing was that he wanted to go traveling. He did a trip to Greece and greatly enjoyed it. His primary role in the show is as a potential love interest for two young women, Marina Thompson and Penelope Featherington. He would be interested in Ahsoka possibly due to the opportunity to See The Stars. He's a much more genial kind of guy than most of the men we see, though there's still some casual Rich Boy moments. He's generally polite, kind, and even funny.

This is Penelope Featherington. She is secretly the author "Lady Whistledown," who anonymously pens a gossip column that the ton reads religiously. She is young (mid teens, though the actress is mid-thirties) and clever, but she's a wallflower who currently has no marriage prospects. She'd be invested in the opportunity to enter a society where she can earn money etc. without it causing her to lose her status and possibly being able to do things like Inherit, which she can't in Regency England.

Eloise Bridgerton! Colin's younger sister (she's the fifth child of eight) and Penelope's best friend (until an incident late in the second season), a budding activist. She's very 'baby's first step into feminism,' and she gets into a decent amount of trouble in the second season by 'consorting with political radicals' who advocate for women's emancipation, etc. She'd be very interested in Padme and the handmaidens, and learning that Padme is the chosen representative (either directly elected, or picked by an elected queen) of an entire sector.

Benedict Bridgerton (second son) is an art student who is... you know what Gil's like in Paris? Like that, but for real. I don't think he has any interest in leaving the planet or marrying one of the SW cast, but he is probably pretty interested in scoring with a Nabooan handmaiden.

Genevieve, the modiste. She's a dressmaker by trade, pretending to be French because the ton is fickle and people won't buy if she admits she's English. I feel like she'd strike up a friendship with Padme's team on the basis of providing guidance on what the Rules Of Propriety are in this period to the wardrobe team.

The Prince (whose name I forget), a Prussian royal that is Queen Charlotte's nephew. She keeps trying to set him up with an English noblewoman so he spends more time in the country instead of going back to the continent. I don't think she'd try to set him up with a star wars person, but I do think it would be very funny if he falls for one of Padme's girl gang.

Portia Featherington, Penelope's mother. Her family's fallen on some hard times (her now-dead husband gambled away most of their money, including the dowries), and she's very conniving and scheming and all such things in order to get her family back to a good place. She's a bitch about it, but she's also usually right, and S2 ends on a note that has her putting her daughters before everything. I'm not sure what her exact plot would be here, but getting one of the girls married off to a Star Wars person probably features.

The Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton (the mother of the aforementioned Bridgertons) and THE BITCH HERSELF, Lady Danbury.

They like to matchmake (they've twice gotten one of Violet's kids married off to Lady Danbury's... charges? Her godson, and then a family she was 'sponsoring' due to a scandal from twenty years earlier).

Lady Danbury is also something of a friend? Ish? To the Queen, and one of the only people that gets to talk back and get away with it. She is magnificent.

Anyway, I think they'd be delighted with the idea of like. Joining forces with Padme and Anakin to matchmake local girls who want to Get Out Of Here with one of the clone troopers.

wenclair brainrot anyone? dress designs by @tanuki-pyon

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