I Realised I Turned Into My Mom When It Made Me Happy To See Fabric Softener And Detergent In A Combo

I realised I turned into my mom when it made me happy to see fabric softener and detergent in a combo offer. #adultingsucks

“There are times when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship.”

— Franz Kafka, Letters To Felice

Into the deep still waters of the night

I can still hear the ocean tides

Raging against the storm,

I don't know if that is right or wrong.

The chaos that follows me everywhere, winks

Standing under millions of stars tucked in sky,

Out in the cold, in silence when she begins

Breaking down my life in front, asking me why?

Many say we sync in thoughts

Say that I am not alone,

That they understand my why-nots

Why I talk like my life's not my own.

But I think you don't, nobody does

I sense a misunderstanding of all time.

When I realise who I am

I'm worried your disappointment,

Would be more than mine.

You mistake me for human

I can see where it went wrong.

But I might be a ghost lost her heaven

Searching for purpose,

Long after its gone!

Into the deep still waters of the night

I can still hear the ocean tides,

I am used to these noises now,

I'd pick the thunderstorms over pause

Cause I can't say, what'll happen to me if it stops.

All these positive notes and reminders keep telling us to live, and not to survive. Not to just merely exist with routine and be sad at the end of the day. But isn't it also a part of living? Isn't it part of being human to be exhausted ?! Why should I be made guilty of a normal human emotion? I survived today. Not happy. What's wrong with it? I'll live tomorrow!! Let me survive today without guilt.

Do you think we'll

Ever find those northern

Lights together?

Four hands to form a

Question mark—

Two quiet mouths

Where do you start

When silence is a bruise

Screaming in the dark?