I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 70

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 70

Rafe couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation the two siblings were having. What started as genuinely trying to make sure everyone was settled in turned into calculating his breaths and trying not to creek the wood floor to give away his whereabouts.

"And he's not gonna want you be anything else other than that."

The words cut Rafe deep, but what twisted the knife was the fact that Jessie didn't refute it. He only heard an undoubtedly awkward hush come over the two siblings. Without even seeing his wife, he knew exactly what she was doing. She was looking down at the floor with her lips sewn together trying not to say what she really thinks.

Rafe knows what she thinks.

JJ was right, though. Rafe didn't want Jessie to be anything else other than herself... but what he needed her to be... well, that was a different story. The same went for Rafe, what he wanted to be was not the same as what he needed to be. Rafe wanted to be the present father that wasn't so damn wrapped up in work all the time. But he needed to be the business man his father created him to be. He needed to be the breadwinner for the family. He needed to give his girls the best life had to offer, as he felt like anything less was a disservice to them. Not to mention, anything less is something he didn't grow up to be proud of. The Cameron's were always the best in their class, no matter what that looked like. If he was going to carry out the life he was destined for, he was gonna do it right.

Rafe didn't want to be addicted to cocaine, yet he needed a hit now more than ever due to the sudden feeling of inadequacy he felt once again. It was a feeling that was becoming familiar to Rafe all over again. He'd like to think that the past week of a stalemate between him and his brooding wife would have helped him kick the habit, but it only sucked him in more, soon enough he found himself using the same amount as he did before Jessie left. The memory scared him more than he could explain... yet he couldn't stop. Rafe felt worse about the using this time around. This time around it felt like he was cheating on Jessie, as she still had no clue he had fallen into bad habits. Yet the cocaine suddenly became more tantalizing, more seductive. The drug now was doing better at making him happy than Jessie was. The thought killed him, but ironically, the only thing that could convince Rafe to stop thinking about the disappointment would be to hit a line. So that's exactly what he did. Christmas wasn't supposed to be like this... his life wasn't supposed to be like this. But suddenly he couldn't see any other way he could smile for the pictures and get through this day knowing what his wife thought of him behind closed doors.

Rafe creeped over into his office just a few doors down and managed to form a neat white line. The same white line managed to block out Jessie's long hair, perfect lips, and curves every time. Once he recovered from the high, he decided to sneak back out as if nothing had happened, even though he would feel the effects of his rendezvous for hours.

"What're we doing?" Rafe asked as he walked back into the kitchen. Of course, the question was rhetorical, as he could clearly see what was going on.

"Making gingerbread houses." Jessie replied as she set the icing down and looked over at her husband.

"Daddyyyy" Charley squealed.

"Yes, darling?"

"Mommy and me and you have to make one togetherrrrr."

Why the toddler insisted on all three of them making a gingerbread house together? Nobody really knew, but Rafe didn't dare deny his child's wishes.

"Alright, sweetheart. What can I do to help?"

"Well you can help me hold the house in place while I glue it together." Jessie stated, to which Rafe obliged. He took notice of how everyone had paired off... he raised his eyebrows at the flirting coming from JJ and Kiara... that was a new development. Or maybe it wasn't, and he just hadn't looked up long enough to notice. He also noticed that Sarah and John B had their own gingerbread house to make... leaving Pope all alone.

"Hey Charley." Rafe spoke up, to which his daughter turned her attention up to him.

"Uncle Pope is all alone, why don't you go help him make his house, yeah?"

Charley looked in between her father and Pope, who was now smiling from ear to ear at the thought of not being the seventh wheel.

"I could really use your help, Charley!" He exclaimed. Everyone could tell the toddler was seriously considering the offer. She looked back up at her father with determination behind her eyes and a point of her finger.

"Okay... but you have to help mommy!" Charley demanded as she pointed at her father with narrowed eyes. The threat somehow worked, and yet Rafe couldn't help but giggle. She was just like her mother. Everyone else snickered at the very same realization. Rafe simply held his hand to his chest and the other in the air, taking the threat rather seriously.

"I promise." He replied. Charley folded her arms and nodded her head and marched over to her uncle Pope. The two extra wheels ended up winning the contest for best gingerbread house...

- - -

"Alright, everyone! Gather around! We're all gonna open one gift!" Jessie yelled throughout the house as everyone made their way in the living room, getting comfortable on the couches and some sitting on the floor closer to the tree. Of course, the ones sitting closer to the tree were Charley and JJ, both for the same reason... pure excitement.

"Alright, Char Char..." JJ rubbed his hands together in angst as he leaned down to his niece. "So the way this works is we all get one present tonight, and then we'll open the rest in the morning. Got it?"

"Got it!" The toddler exclaimed, who was now bouncing up and down, clearly unable to contain her joy.

Rafe sauntered into the living room with a bottle of champagne and glasses, setting them down carefully and walking over to his wife with a smile. He wrapped an arm around her and she did the same. Show time.

"Alright, so I know you guys all came here with your gifts for each other... but Jessie and I wanted to do something a little different this year."

The pogues looked up intently waiting for his next words.

"Since this is our first Christmas together as a family... and Jessie and I's first Christmas... ever... we wanted to just give each of you guys a present from us for tonight."

"So each of you have a present underneath the tree, so go find it!" Jessie exclaimed. The couple watched as their friends dug through the presents, looking for the one that belonged to them, and ripping them open with fury. Despite this being Jessie and Rafe's first Christmas together... they could both agree on one thing: a free for all was necessary when it came to gift opening. They both hated the idea of everyone opening their gifts one at a time. Nobody in that room had the patience for that. Especially not their three year old.

A slough of oohs and ahs filled the room as everyone gawked at their presents, JJ got a new hat and a pack of beer, John B got a hat rack (since his hats were always thrown everywhere), Kie got a turtle themed skateboard, Sarah got some new sneakers she had been wanting, Pope got a new book he has also been eyeing, and Charley got a new treasure chest for her toys, one that was much more colorful than the one she had in her room currently.

"Mommy, look!" The toddler screamed as she pointed to her new toy and peddled her feet up and down. Her parents both smiled as her father went to go open the champagne.

"I see it, baby! How cool!" Jessie replied as if she hadn't seen it already.

"And guess what Charley?" Sarah spoke up as she crawled over to her niece with a mischievous smile. "Santa's gonna bring you more tomorrow morning!"

Charley erupted in cheers and applause as she ran around the living room, which caused everyone to laugh.

"I wanna go put toys in it nooooow!" She begged as she ran back over to her treasure chest.

"Well then let's get to it!" John B responded as he jumped up to grab the box. It was too big for one person to carry, but thankfully, JJ understood the assignment and helped him carry it out. Charley stood underneath it, her arms barely tall enough to touch the bottom of it to try and help. The boys let the box down just slightly so Charley could "carry" it as well. The Pogues all followed the little girl to her room to help her redistribute her toys, which would undoubtedly turn into show and tell.

Jessie and Rafe both laughed as they watched the scene unfold, and after everyone finally made their way out of the living room, Jessie turned back around to see Rafe standing there with two glasses of champagne in his hands. He extended one to his wife. Her smile faded just slightly as she remembered her new vow not to drink since that night at her old apartment when everything broke loose. She still didn't want to mess with any gateway drugs, even alcohol. Rafe picked up on the subtle change of demeanor as he watched his wife eye the drink in her hand.

"You don't have to drink it." He said simply. Jessie darted her eyes back up to her husband, feeling like her secret was out. Rafe just chuckled. "I know you haven't been drinking, Jess. Don't think I haven't picked up on it."

A silence feel between them and Jessie let an awkward laugh escape her lips.

"Do... you have something you want to tell me?" Rafe asked softly, trying not to intrude. But he couldn't ignore the fact that his wife had stopped drinking cold turkey. Whether she realized it or not, Rafe knew her inside and out. She looked up at the man in front of her with furrowed brows, now suddenly really confused.

"Like what...?" She trailed off. Rafe just shrugged and looked around the room, unsure of what to say. He stared at Jessie with an inquisition that gave away exactly what he was looking for. Jessie's mouth dropped open and she choked on the words trying to come out of her mouth.

"O-oh... I'm not pregnant." Jessie assured as she exhaled deeply and shook her head frantically. Rafe let go of the breath he was holding in too followed by a slight laugh.

"Well good... I guess." Rafe tried to joke. He would love to have more kids with Jessie, but he knew now sure as hell wasn't the time. Jessie laughed and looked down at the floor awkwardly, playing with the shaggy carpet underneath her bare feet.

"I just... uh... haven't been drinking since..."

"Since the fight..." Rafe finished the sentence for her, now looking at her with kind eyes and a soft smile. "Yeah... I know." He whispered, now taking his free hand and cupping her face. This is the first genuinely gentle touch Jessie had felt since everything happened. For the past week every touch felt motivated out of lust or manipulation. This time, Jessie knew Rafe had his guard down.

"It's just that... drugs and alcohol was kinda what got us in this mess in the first place and... I just don't wanna give me or you anymore chances to mess this up again."

Jessie had her guard down too, and Rafe could tell by her words. He nodded his head and swallowed the lump in his throat. Not being able to look her in the eyes knowing his secret, he let go of her face, his hand suddenly feeling cold and heavy. He looked down at the ground, only being able to look at her red painted toenails. He nodded his head slowly, managing the strength to look back up.

"Yeah... I know." That's all that he could manage to say. He had to divert the conversation. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath as if to internally recollect himself. Jessie could tell he was ready to move on from the potentially deep conversation, and she wasn't surprised. "So I know you've seen that big ass box wrapped behind the tree." Rafe said with a smile and a nod of his head in that direction.

"How could I not? I know I didn't buy whatever that is." Jessie joked right back, getting back into character like nothing happened.

"It's for you." Rafe replied with a chuckle. Jessie just looked at the long, thin box that came up to her waist in confusion. "Go on... open it." Rafe insisted as he stepped aside.

Jessie showed clear hesitation on her face but slowly began walking over to the present, carefully setting down her champagne she still hadn't taken a sip of. She carefully slid the box across rhetorical floor just enough to get it out from behind the massive tree. She looked at Rafe, who silently implored her to go on. She ripped open the beautiful dark green paper and revealed a box with bright colors printed on the front of it. She gasped, and couldn't help but kick her head back in laughter, joy now spread across her face as she looked at her sneaky sneaky husband.

"It's a TV... for the living room... so we can all watch our shows together." Rafe explained softly. What seemed like such an impersonal gift to outsiders was just what Jessie needed to see the human side of Rafe again. She could tell he had put thought into this one. She scoffed and shook her head as she walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You are unbelievable." She stated with a laugh as they swayed back and forth.

"Yeah, well... I figured we could give up the museum look anyways..." He joked back as he leaned down to kiss Jessie passionately. Through laughs, Jessie deepened the kiss, now bringing her hands to his face. Rafe smiled into the kiss as he realized what she was doing. He wrapped his arms tighter around her body, trying not to let her escape as he kissed her harder and began backing her up towards their room.

"I bet Charley's keeping them busy with her toys... we have a while." Rafe whispered in between kisses as he continued to walk his wife back. Despite clearly enjoying it, Jessie shook her head and moved her hands towards Rafe's chest to push him back.

"Uh uh." Jessie replied with a cheeky grin. "Just our luck they'll be out any minute wondering where we are." She said as she pulled away from his tight grip, sending him into a fit of groans. Jessie just giggled and walked back towards the living room, passing it and going towards her daughter's room.

"And fix your pants." Jessie hinted as she pointed down towards her husband's crotch.

"Well if you didn't make us all wear paper thin pajama pants we wouldn't have this problem now would we?"

Jessie just laughed and shook her head as he made her way to Charley's room to see her new set up.

The rest of the night was spent eating homemade cookies and watching Christmas movies. Jessie and Rafe managed to put Charley to bed, albeit it was extra difficult to get her to settle in given that her favorite people were still awake and Santa was coming. Eventually the Pogues turned into their rooms as well, leaving the couple to finally be able to set out the rest of the gifts for everyone. Of course, before they could even get one gift out, Jessie shushed her husband, as she heard the creak of a door and tiny little footsteps coming down the hall. She looked at Rafe with a smirk as she turned around to reveal none other than their daughter. Rafe watched as his wife stuck her hands on her hips with sass and gave his child a knowing look as she cocked her head.

"And what are you doing up, missy?" Jessie asked, already knowing the answer. She began to round the corner of the couch to get closer to her daughter. Charley of course had a shy smile on her face as she rocked back and forth. God, Rafe couldn't take the cuteness. Suddenly he thought maybe one more hour of staying awake with her wouldn't be so bad?

"I don't knoooooow." Charley replied as she retreated her face behind her hands.

"Yeah right," Jessie bantered. "You know you're not supposed to be up!" She said with feigned aggravation as she picked her daughter up and set her on her hip. Charley giggled, knowing her mother was just playing alone, and rested her head comfortably on Jessie's shoulder. Charley looked over at her father with her big doe eyes.

"You know I can't help you out of this one, princess." Rafe answered his daughter's silent plea as he stuck his hands in his pockets and shook his head. Charley looked up at her mother.

"I can't sleeeeeeep... Will you sing to me?"

"Of course I can, baby."

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 60

"Alright, that should be everything." JJ said as he loaded the last of the luggage in the car for Jessie, Rafe, and Charley. All the Pogues were now standing on the glorious front porch of the Bahamian villa with tears in their eyes as they watched the little family say their goodbyes.

Jessie took a deep breath and gave all the teens a sympathetic look. She could tell they were nervous despite their constant statement that they were adults.

"You guys will be just fine, I promise. Just because we're not here physically doesn't mean we aren't one phone call away." Jessie assured as she looked up at the group. They nodded their heads, yet some looked more convinced than others.

"I've got emergency response on speed dial if you guys need anything immediately." Rafe chimed in with just as much sympathy. "Sarah, you know where everything is." Sarah nodded in hesitant understanding as she swallowed the lump in her throat and held tightly to Wheezie.

"If you guys need anything... anything at all... you know we'll come running." Jessie said calmly, trying to be the voice of reason.

"No questions asked." Rafe reiterated.

Despite Jessie and Rafe's reassurance, the Pogues still held somber faces. Jessie looked up at her husband, both of them equally at a loss for words.

"Look guys..." John B piped up. "It's not that we're worried we're not gonna be able to take care of ourselves... we've done that for years... it's that... we're gonna miss you."

The words pierced through the couple like an arrow through flesh. They both could have sworn they felt their heart tinge and ache. Jessie deflated her posture and changed her face to one of sadness as well.

"I know guys..." Jessie said barely above a whisper as she went back up the steps to give even more hugs than they had previously. "But this isn't forever. We'll be coming back regularly and have you guys flown into Manhattan. We're gonna miss you guys even more. But we're gonna make it through this." Jessie said as she held Wheezie's tear stained face in her hands with a soft smile. The smile was clearly fake, but Jessie did her best to put on her mom face just like she did with Charley, even when her whole world was crashing and burning around her.

"Come on guys." JJ spoke up through a low tone as he walked back up the steps as well. "We gotta let them go."

With that, everyone backed away and let Jessie and Rafe and Charley get into the car. As the door closed Rafe looked over at Jessie with a close mouthed smile as he grabbed her hand and squeezed gently, silently trying to reassure her. It didn't work, as she finally let down her facade just enough to hang her head and look down at her lap.

"I can't look back." She choked out, not daring to look anywhere else.

"I can't either." Rafe admitted with a sigh.

They both knew the scene that was unfolding behind them, undoubtedly leaving their family in tears, worry, confusion, and everything in between. But they had to trust the process. And even more so, trust that they knew the plan.

Jessie remembered this gut wrenching feeling all too well, the same guilt she felt when she left JJ on her front porch four years ago. She thought in an odd way this time around it would be easier. Boy was she wrong. She couldn't determine which one stung worse. Before she could even register the tightness in her throat and the heat on her face, she felt Rafe wipe a stray tear from her cheek.

"It'll be okay, baby." He whispered as he leaned over the middle seat with her hand still in his. Jessie finally locked eyes with her husband, still seeing the same stress behind them she saw just a week ago when they first got to the island.

That was just it. Jessie didn't cry, and certainly not in big sappy moments like the one she was just apart of. Jessie wasn't crying because of what she was leaving behind. She was terrified of what she was bringing home. Throughout the past week the work calls didn't stop, they didn't even decline. Neither did the business meetings, which were always filled with yelling from Rafe's office. Inevitably, the bad attitude came along with it, whether Rafe meant for it to or not. It had just been one week and Jessie could already see that the stress was taking a toll on their relationship. And here she was about to try and build a life with this man and this company while also taking care of family halfway across the world. Jessie wasn't sure if it was a good thing that it had only been a week, maybe it wasn't enough time for things to subside just yet. That's what she chose to tell herself anyways.

She finally pulled herself far enough out of her racing thoughts to give Rafe a half hearted smile, although the sadness behind her eyes was still evident. Even though Rafe spent most of his week stressed out and a little tipsy, he still knew his Jessie, always had, and it didn't matter what he had in his system. Some things never change. He could tell she was holding back, for what reason he had no clue. After all, she was never one to hold back. Still, given the gravity of the day he just decided to let it go.

"Are you excited to see Mama and Tom?" Rafe asked. "I know they're ready to turn those phone calls into face to face visits. And hey! We're still gonna be in the same building as them until I can get us a place. And I'm already working on that!" Rafe tried to be reassuring, but the thought of one more move, especially one in an upscale glass house condo on the tip top floor of some swanky apartment complex that was on the complete opposite side of town from the Manhattan Mayhem was not at all what Jessie was prepared for. Still, she could see Rafe just trying to give the best to his girls, and she appreciated that. She tried to show that on her face. Before she could answer she heard Rafe's phone ring, and with a sigh he answered it. That thing always had the worst timing.

"Hello?"

Jessie could hear mingling on the other side of the line, and for once Rafe didn't seem irate or intensely focused on the other end. He simply nodded his head and murmured in understanding, voiced some gratitude and then hung up with a smile.

"Tanneyhill just sold!" Rafe exclaimed with a grin as he leaned further over to Jessie, looking her up and down. "And we are 7.2 million dollars richer." Rafe whispered seductively as he slowly planted a tantalizing kiss on his wife's cheek, to which she couldn't help but giggle. One thing that Rafe did manage to get done for them this week is merge their bank accounts. Suddenly the thought sunk in that she was about to have 7 million dollars in her pocket...

"What do you even do with that much money?" Jessie asked innocently as her mind raced. Rafe took notice of her wide eyes and big smile. He laughed at her adorable demeanor and cupped her face with his hand while running his thumb against her cheek.

"Whatever you want to do baby."

- - -

"Yeah if you could just have all of our stuff shipped to Central Park Tower that would be great." Rafe instructed with the phone in his hand and his suitcase in the other, not to mention a stray coat hanging off one arm and a laptop thrown into the mix. He clearly had his hands full walking down the tight hallway towards Jessie's old apartment. Jessie had her own struggle as well, as Charley insisted on being carried and she had her own luggage to tote down the awkward space. She disregarded yet another phone call that she wished Rafe wouldn't have been on. She wanted to tell him to get off the phone and help her but she knew he was simply helping in other ways.

The three of them finally reached the end of the hallway and Jessie set her toddler down to rummage through her jacket for her keys, eventually finding them. Due to all the other stuff she had in her hands she ended up dropping them amongst the luggage that was now sat on the floor for both of them. Unable to find them, Rafe finally got the hint and started looking himself as he continued talking on the phone. He finally found the keys and still through murmurs managed to unlock the door and swing the door open. Rafe was too enraptured in his phone call to notice what was happening right in front of him.

"Surpriiiiise!"

The yells rang through the tiny apartment and out into the hallway for all to hear. Jessie and Charley both gasped as they saw almost every member of the MM standing in her living room with joy filled faces and a banner that spread the width of the place. Balloons were everywhere, food on the table, and yet all Jessie could do was look over at Rafe as he awkwardly held an appreciative smile but was still clearly focused on his phone call. He felt horrible to say the least, and Jessie could see that, but boy did she wish he would just hang up the damn phone now. Rafe gave a slight wave in an attempt to be nice to everyone before him.

"Yeah, but I really need those papers sent today so I can sign them." Rafe explained a little quieter as he slowly shut the door. Of course it wasn't quiet enough considering everyone had gone silent from the awkward encounter. Jessie just tried to brush it off the best she could. Thankfully, Charley was oblivious.

"Pop pop!" The toddler screeched with the most excitement as she ran up to her grandparents. Jessie still couldn't believe the party they had thrown. Mama and Tom leaned down just in time to accept the hug Charley was about to give them. With a grunt Tom slowly got up off the ground and held Charley close.

"Hey baby doll, we sure did miss you!" Tom exclaimed. Maci simply looked toward Jessie with love as she stuck out her arms looking for a hug. Everyone else around them went back to bantering and laughing amongst themselves.

"How in the world did you guys manage all of this?!" Jessie asked with bright eyes and a beaming smile. "It's... it's perfect!"

"We couldn't stand not seeing you for one more second! Everyone else also wanted to meet Rafe..." Mama said with a smile. Although Jessie could see the joy on her face, she knew she was secretly wondering what had Rafe so distracted out in the hall. Jessie didn't dare speak about the last week she had had with her husband in front of Maci and Tom. She knew they would try to defend her and it would only turn into an argument. Besides, she could handle herself just fine and would most certainly be talking to Rafe about what just happened later.

"He's just... trying to tie up some loose ends. He'll be in in a minute I'm sure." Jessie replied with not as much confidence as Maci and Tom would have liked. They picked up on the hesitancy, and Jessie picked up on their facial expressions. Still, she chose to ignore it and walk around the party saying hello to the rest of her friends. Luckily, only a few minutes passed before Rafe sheepishly walked through the door with a guilty wide smile written all over his face. Jessie looked over to the doorway to see Rafe standing there awkwardly with his mouth open trying to figure out where his wife and daughter were. Jessie excused herself from the conversation she was having with a girl that was not much younger than her. She looked at her husband who now had one hand in his pocket and the other scratching the back of his neck.

"Hey! There you are!" Rafe beamed, trying to act as if nothing ever happened.

"Here I am." Jessie replied with a shrug of her shoulders and a half smile.

"What's wrong?" Rafe asked with furrowed brows. He was about to pull Jessie in for a hug but she dodged it by stepping back subtly. Although Rafe picked up on the minuscule act, he couldn't respond in time before he was met with a very loud shout from Maci from across the room.

"There he is!" Mama shouted as she made her way over to the tall man standing in the door. He then decided to close the door and give the blonde woman a large smile, one that was clearly fake. He bent down a little to give her a warm hug.

"How's my favorite son in law?" Mama asked with a shit eating grin as she poked at Rafe's chest playfully.

"I'm good I'm good." Rafe responded. "You guys really outdid yourselves! This place looks amazing! I'm sorry I was a little busy earlier I-"

"No need to apologize son." Tom butted in as he made his way over with the toddler in his arms. "We've had to handle business a time or two and haven't had a choice when we get to handle it."

Rafe gave Tom a half smile of appreciation. Jessie tried doing the same, but she wanted to scream. All she kept thinking was "if only you knew, Pop." This wasn't sometimes. Jessie would understand if it were. But this was all the time... at the worst times.

With that being said, they all decided to disregard the conversation and begin mingling around to all of Jessie's friends. She made sure to introduce Rafe to every one of them, and he quite enjoyed getting to see who had been taking care of his girls all these years. After an hour or so of small talk the both of them heard Maci yell over the crowd to get everyone's attention. The typical clanking of silverware against glasses would be far too fancy for the Manhattan Mayhem. Why be formal when you could scream?

"Alright everyone, listen up!" Mama said as everyone began to quiet down and look intently at the blonde at the front of the room. "I just want to take a moment to say how happy we are that you're home, Jessie."

Home. The word resonated with Rafe. All of a sudden Rafe understood why Jessie called this place home. Despite Rafe calling OBX home his entire life, in this last hour he felt more welcome than he ever had in that island paradise. No amount of banquets, no amount of midsummers, no amount of kind words from socialites and news outlets could have made Rafe feel more at home than this moment with these people in this tiny apartment. He knew Jessie felt the same way. Sure, she had the pogues... but OBX was never home to her for the same reasons as Rafe. Jessie and Rafe both saw right through the bullshit of figure 8, and they had for a long time, it was what brought them together in the first place.

"And Rafe..." Maci sing songed as she raised her solo cup. "We are so happy that Jessie has found you. Thank you for taking good care of her while she was away. We're proud to call you officially apart of our family."

Everyone raised their cup in agreement as they toasted to the reunion of the couple and of Jessie and Charley being back home. Rafe grabbed Jessie's shoulders as she stood in front of him and looked up at him with a genuine smile. He could tell she felt so loved in that moment... more loved in that moment than she had been in the past week by him...

Although Rafe should have continued to feel the warm fuzzies, all he could think about was the fact that he hadn't been loving Jessie right. He just couldn't quite figure out how to fix that just yet.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 58

"Well I don't care what you have to do to keep her! It's always cheaper to keep them than to replace them. If she won't move to New York, make it an offer she can't refuse." Rafe demanded over the phone as he walked through the kitchen the next morning. He leaned up against the counter to watch Jessie make breakfast for Charley, who was still fast asleep in the king size bed. Jessie whipped her head away from the stove long enough to put her finger to her lips to tell her husband to quiet down. It was way too early for him to be yelling, especially over work. He simply nodded his head with pursed lips and furrowed brows, clearly agitated but listening to his wife. She giggled at the sight as she went back to making breakfast.

The conversation continued for a few more minutes until Rafe abruptly hung up and flung his phone down beside him. He never moved from his spot on the counter, instead he folded his arms up, clearly in thought as he looked down at the ground. Jessie decided to lighten the mood as best she could by walking over to him and leaning on him with her arms wrapped around his neck.

"It's wayyy too early to be this frustrated." She simply said with a soft smile.

"Yeah well working out of three different time zones makes stuff like this kinda hard." Rafe explained through frustration. He wrapped his arms around Jessie's waist, albeit a little more aggressively than usual, looking at her soft eyes with stern ones. She dismissed the look, knowing it wasn't for her and kissed his lips gently.

"What's the problem now?" She asked, genuinely curious.

"My secretary doesn't want to move." Rafe simply stated through a short temper.

"So find a new secretary." Jessie replied as if the answer was obvious. Rafe just paused for a moment, trying to think of an appropriate explanation.

"She knows too much." Rafe responded with a guilty look. At that Jessie couldn't help but giggle a little. She then decided to pause to come up with a solution of her own.

"Well then you'll just have to kill her." Jessie joked with a shrug of her shoulders.

"That's a very real possibility." Rafe cracked a smile as he joked right along with her, to which she laughed. He brought Jessie closer to him to kiss her harder, this time getting a little more heated, until they were rudely interrupted.

"Oh god, okay, ya know what? It's sickening enough for me to be hungover and now I have to watch you two play tongue hockey!" JJ mumbled as he walked in the kitchen with squinted eyes. Jessie couldn't tell if that was due to the massive hangover or the fact that the two of them were making out right in front of him. "Seriously get a room." He sassed.

"Our room is occupied by a three year old little girl." Rafe sassed right back as JJ took a seat at the bar.

"And so your solution is to have sex in the kitchen? Seriously there's dozens of rooms in this house." JJ mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. The couple just couldn't help but laugh. Jessie dismissed his snide remarks and went to the fridge.

"Hey grab me a beer outta that." JJ said mindlessly pointing over that direction still holding his head.

"Seriously, Jayj? You know a beer is not gonna help." Jessie scolded as she opted for the milk.

"Yeah, and kooks don't typically drink this damn early." Rafe joked. JJ just groaned in annoyance as he laid his head on the cold marble counter. He looked quite comical they had to admit.

"You're getting toast instead." Jessie exclaimed as she went to grab the bread from the pantry. JJ knew better than to argue, especially when he was this hungover.

"Rafe will you go wake Charley up? I don't want her sleeping all day." Jessie asked. Rafe gave her a look that said he really didn't wanna do that. Jessie noticed.

"Oh come on, you're gonna have to be the bad guy at some point. She'll live." Jessie reiterated. Much like JJ, Rafe knew better than to argue. Instead, he marched back to their room.

Jessie slid the cinnamon sugar toast over to her brother, who's head was still laying on the counter. She figured he was asleep, so she snapped her fingers to get his attention. It worked, and he jolted his head up with eyes open, but not for long considering the pounding headache he just remembered he had.

"Eat up, I don't want you puking on the floor. This shit's probably priceless." Jessie joked as she pointed to the toast. She then brought him a glass of milk as well.

It wasn't but a few more moments until Rafe rounded the corner with a sleepy Charley clinging to his hip. Her head rested comfortably on his shoulder and Jessie could tell she was almost back asleep. She sleeps just like her uncle: anywhere at anytime. Rafe looked smitten as he just rubbed her back, wanting her to choose when to wake up. Unfortunately, he had to let go considering he got a call as soon he as he entered the kitchen. He huffed and gave Jessie a sympathetic look as he had to pass her off.

"What?" Rafe snapped as he walked out of the room. JJ watched as he marched away and looked back at Jessie.

"Does that not bother you?" JJ mumbled as he took another bite.

"What?" Jessie asked.

"The constant phone calls, the bad mood he's in, the stress?"

"That's all just a season. We're all going to find a new normal at some point and he won't be this busy." Jessie said dismissively with a head shake. JJ just shook his head in disbelief as he looked down at his food.

"How many times did you see Ward on the phone, stressed out, talking about business, and all that other shit?" JJ asked, allowing for a pause for his sister to think. "Right, a lot. Probably almost everytime you saw the man. That man had been running that company for decades and never got a break. The only time that man was ever off his phone was when he was entertaining all the other rich goons around him. You're kidding yourself if you think that's gonna change, sis."

Jessie just sighed deeply with an annoyed look on her face as if she knew a lot more about this situation than JJ did. She hated that he was so confident in his speculation. He decided to back off.

"Alright, alright..." JJ said as he held his hands up in surrender. "But all I'm sayin is... if I ran the same business he was running, I'd do hard drugs too."

JJ meant that as a joke, but to Jessie it was anything but. She didn't even want to think about the path her husband could go down if he didn't draw some boundaries and take a break every once and a while. But then again, Rafe had seen first hand the man that his father had become, so she liked to believe that he would be self aware enough to not let that happen. After all, he already revolved his life around Charley and her the second they came back into his life. She had to hold on to that truth to not let her mind run wild with doubt and fear.

Jessie was pulled out of her thoughts by a clearly flustered Rafe coming back into the kitchen, now breathing a sigh and scratching the back of his neck. He came to stand right beside his wife, putting his hands on the countertop and stretching his neck with his eyes closed. JJ noticed it too.

"You alright there, big guy?" JJ asked with knitted brows. Rafe just opened his eyes slowly to give JJ a subtle glare and brought his eyes over to Jessie, who had the same look of curious concern on her face.

"I'm fine." He muttered. "I'm going to get in the shower, if Pope comes down tell him I've got people coming at noon and he needs to be ready."

The siblings simply nodded their heads, trying not to push it.

"Do you need me to do anything?" Jessie asked with sympathetic eyes, genuinely trying to be of any assistance she could. Rafe picked up on her fragile tone and immediately shifted his attitude as best he could.

"No, baby, I'm fine, it's all gonna be fine." Rafe whispered as he cupped her face and gave her a reassuring look. He admired her beautiful face for just a moment, and took in his favorite sight of his two girls. He planted a sweet kiss to Jessie's lips and slowly peeled his fingers away. JJ tried his best not to ruin the moment by being disgusted with the public display of affection. With that, Rafe backed away and headed for their master bathroom. Jessie watched as his back muscles tensed as he clinched his fists on the way out. She could tell he was still deep in thought about anything and everything.

- - -

"Pope, I'd like you to meet Mr. Singh. Mr. Singh, this is Mr. Heyward." Rafe introduced the two men who were now standing in the grand living room, both dressed in collared shirts and perfectly ironed pants. Not Pope's preferred wardrobe, but he knew he had to dress to impress-- literally.

Rafe had his driver take the rest of the crew out for a day at the beach, with security standing back modestly of course.

The two men shook hands and exchanged nods of approval.

"So, Mr. Heyward." The man spoke up in a thick Bahamian accent. "I hear you have something of great value to me."

Pope had no idea what to say, after all, he'd never done this before. Pope's words got caught in his throat for fear of saying the wrong thing or giving off the wrong vibe. Despite Rafe's brief teaching before the meeting, Pope still forgot everything, now only looking at Rafe to rescue him. Thankfully, not too much awkward silence lapsed before Rafe quickly stepped in.

"That's correct, Mr. Singh." Rafe played it off as he rubbed his hands together and dawned a confident smile, making sure to look the man directly in the eyes. "It's a cross. Seven foot long made of pure gold and adorned with diamonds and other precious stones. Appraisers say it's priceless."

"Your father and I have been business partners for a long time now, Cameron. And although he hasn't screwed me yet, I would like to know... how did this young lad get involved?" Mr. Singh asked with furrowed brows in Pope's direction. He ran his hand mindlessly through his beard waiting for an answer. Rafe didn't waver.

"This cross— the cross of Santo Domingo— was found by this young man. And he wants to make sure that when this artifact is sold that it's sold to the right partner. Someone who's... going to appreciate it as much as he does. And of course I thought who better than you Mr. Singh?" Rafe calmly stated through a kind smile that Pope couldn't help but tell was fake. That's all these pleasantries seemed to be... fake. But Rafe told him it would be. These were negotiations, nothing more.

"Well that is a fair point but I still do not see how this man found you, Mr. Cameron? And if you found him then... why aren't you wanting this "priceless artifact" all for yourself?" The Bahamian asked with a knowing smirk. Rafe expected the man to always be looking to get under his skin.

"Well that's really none of your concern, Mr. Singh. Because what I have in front of you right now is much more important than any backstory you claim to need."

Pope just watched as the two men eyed each other up and down, clearly playing a silent game of dick measuring. He thought he was ready for this, apparently he wasn't. Still, he couldn't stand the thought of not saying something. He finally cleared his throat.

"It's worth at least 500 million dollars."

Rafe just pursed his lips just enough to keep himself from scolding Pope. No straight answers was what he was told, and yet here he was, spewing a cold hard number to this man. Luckily, Rafe was good at not letting anyone see that he was upset. Now was not the time to lose it.

Mr. Signh was visibly shocked that Pope spoke up. He raised his eyebrows and let out a slight chuckle as he leaned back in his chair, now feeling like he had the leverage.

"Well well well... he speaks!" Mr. Signh exclaimed as he clapped his hands together.

Rafe looked at Pope with a grin that he knew held so much sarcasm. Rafe decided against saying anything else, feeling like Pope needed to sort this one out now. Pope felt the judgement, and just decided to roll with it.

"Yeah I do..." Pope stated calmly, now inhaling deeply and rubbing his sweaty palms on his perfectly starched khakis. "And I want you to know that this cross isn't to be altered in any way if I sell it to you. I want this in a museum on display somewhere. I feel that that's what it deserves."

"Fair enough, Mr. Heyward..." The man leaned in once more with his hands folded together neatly, giving Pope an oddly genuine smile. "But I feel that Mr. Cameron has yet to inform you that... I'm more interested in... off the record purchases. One's that don't get put in museums but... ones that put 500 million dollars cash in your pocket today. Is that something you'd be interested in, Mr. Heyward?" He whispered. Pope looked over at Rafe, unsure of what to say or do. Rafe gave no physical indication of what to do. After all, this was his cross. Rafe's input or previous coaching clearly didn't matter to Pope.

"Well yeah but-"

"But what, Mr. Heyward?" Mr. Signh asked with harsh eyes and a tilt of his head. Pope just sighed.

"If it's not going in a museum or to a good cause... then I can't sell it to you." Pope said sternly, finally finding his voice. Mr. Singh looked down at the floor and tapped his freshly polished leather loafer against the expensive rug.

"Very well, Mr. Heyward. But just a word of advice." Mr. Singh said as he stood up from the couch and looked between the two men in front of him. "Mr. Cameron... doesn't do honest deals either."

With that, the man strutted out of the mansion with his goons in tow. Pope and Rafe both watched as he ominously walked out of the room. Suddenly, Pope whipped his head back around with fury as he looked at Rafe with narrowed eyes and a puffed chest. He looked like he was trying to control his breathing.

"What?" Rafe spat with arms slightly extended.

"What does that prick mean by not doing honest deals? You know what? Never mind, I know exactly what he meant by that! That guy's not from some museum! He's not a collector!" Pope fumed as he now paced around the room.

"Oh he's a collector..." Rafe corrected defensively. Pope had to physically stop and ball his fists in that moment to contain himself. He pursed his lips and let the pent up air out slowly through his nose. Suddenly the collared shirt he had on felt suffocating, and he hastily unbuttoned the top button.

"That's not what I meant, Rafe. He's a black market collector and-"

"And he'll make you more money than you ever thought possible if you give up the damn merit! Dude, I understand you're new to all this, but you gotta understand, I'm not... and I'm telling you... this is what gets you and your little friends to full kook just like you all wanted!" Rafe seethed as he now met Pope where he was standing, being sure to point a finger towards his chest.

Pope had to pause once again to contain his anger.

"My little friends are also your sister and your brother in law. God, Rafe, I thought you understood by now!"

"Understood what?!"

"... We're not friends... we're family... you're family. We all let you in on this despite having our reservations about you because we love Jessie and chose to trust her. You still don't get it! You're still trying to do things your way and you're not understanding that we can sell this cross to the right people, make money, and still keep the moral high ground! We may want to be kooks... but we're not gonna be sell outs to get there..."

"If you're gonna be a kook you're gonna have to-"

"What you just did was not treating me or anyone else like family. This is not just a transaction, Rafe."

Rafe matched Pope's demeanor, now eyeing the man in front of him up and down with fists planted firmly by his side and his chest slowly heaving up and down. Pope could tell he had so much left to say, yet he didn't. Instead he walked away still fuming. Despite everything that just happened, Pope had to admit he was impressed. Not a punch thrown, not a shove, not even one more venomous word.

Rafe marched back to his hidden room, planting himself firmly on the bed and rubbing his eyes furiously as if to try and forget the memory of what just happened. Rafe felt like he had been punched in the gut with all the family talk.

"This is not just a transaction, Rafe."

Rafe didn't understand family... he understood transactions. That was the problem, and it broke his own heart. After all, that's all he was ever taught. Life was not a journey, but a game, a game that his father taught him to win. Ward toured around as a "family man" but Rafe knew he was anything but. He couldn't help but wonder if he would ever view life as more than just transactions as well. He needed Jessie here to prove him wrong, but she wasn't. Rafe started to sob with his head in his hands as he grasped the weight of Pope's words. Jessie and Charley were clearly his family, but the Pogues? Maybe he wasn't as open minded as he thought. Years of hatred and a brainwashed narrative will do that to a person. Then again, he thought he was doing the right thing by Pope and the others by trying to make the most money, not giving much thought to Pope's true intentions. Maybe that was his problem, he was never taught to move morally, only strategically. The sudden rush of emotions and flood of childhood traumatic memories overwhelmed Rafe. He needed Jessie, but she wasn't there.

Before he could process what he was doing, he felt his legs move towards the pantry right outside his hidden door. His mind was numb, only processing what felt like weights around his feet weighing down his legs. He felt drunk and out of his mind and yet he had nothing in his system. He scoured the cabinets for anything he could find, of course, all the wines, champagnes and whiskeys one could possibly imagine were right where they were supposed to be. He quickly grabbed the closest whiskey he could find, not even bothering to grab a certain brand and downed one big swig. The burn down his throat still wasn't enough to drown out the pounding in his head. He held his eyes once more trying to forget. He stumbled back into his bedroom and towards the master bath, not from drunkenness, but from losing his senses altogether due to the overwhelming anxiety he felt. He managed to catch himself as he placed his arms on the marble sink, slowly looking up at himself in the mirror. He took notice of the blown out pupils and wet bloodshot eyes.

"Be a man, men don't cry!"

Rafe heard his dead father ring in his ears the same way he heard him when he was ten years old. He physically groaned at the thought and put his head down feeling like the weight could snap it right off. Given the migraine he was suffering from, he wished it would.

Speaking of migraines, Rafe remembered he was in the bathroom, and behind the mirror would be some medicine that could help. With that he sniffled, wiped his face and tried to pull himself together despite nobody being around to see. Suddenly the suit jacket he had on felt like a straight jacket, and he immediately pulled it off. He rummaged through the cabinet sure enough to find the bottle of pills he was looking for, but when he opened it up, it was not Tylenol he found. It was a plastic baggy of the all too familiar powder. God, why'd he have to hide that shit everywhere he wondered. Even after he decided to get clean he still couldn't seem to escape his former self who undoubtedly had the best hiding spots. Still he stopped in shock as he looked at the contents of the bottle. He expected to immediately throw the bottle down and run out of the bathroom out of fear. Instead, he gripped it tighter out of anger for contemplating his next move. He still felt drunk to his senses, yet now he was filled with rage. Rage that this bottle had so much control over him in the moment. He gritted his teeth at the thought of the cocaine undoubtedly taking his headache away... and all the other pain he was feeling. He needed his Jessie... but she wasn't there.

Finally unable to take the pressure that kept building in his skull and in his mind, he created the perfect line of coke that would carry him through until his girls got home.

can’t wait to tune in on october 10th to watch netflix fumble drew starkey’s talent for the 4th year in a row 😌

as a rafe apologist the only thing that i cant forgive him for is melting down that damn cross

PSA

I need all the Rafe x Thornton!reader everything. Tag. Me. In. Everything.