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I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 61

"Thanks for staying to help clean up, Mama." Jessie stated as she put the last of the clean plates up where they belong.

"No problem, dear. It was kinda our mess to clean up." Mama joked as she walked around the bar and over into the living room where they both found their husbands watching football.

"Alright, Tom, come on, let's go home." Maci demanded as she snapped her fingers and pointed to the door.

"Oh come on, mama, can't we just finish the game?" Tom whined. Rafe couldn't help but snicker, but he tried to hide it through putting his hand over his mouth and playing with his lips. Jessie knew the silly argument that was about to ensue. Tom loved his football.

"These kids are tired and ready to go to bed. Come on, let's go!" Mama insisted as she put on her shoes by the door. Tom merely groaned and got off the couch, making sure to give Rafe a firm handshake as if to say they would do this again sometime. He also gave Jessie a big hug before he put on his shoes as well.

"Thanks for the party, I... we really needed it." Jessie said, immediately thinking to correct her word choice to not raise any suspicions.

"Of course doll. And you know, if you need us, we'll come running."

"I know." Jessie nodded with a smile as she hugged the pair one last time before seeing them out the door. As she closed it she looked back at Rafe, the grin immediately gone, only leaving a scowl. Rafe leaned over the back of the couch and sighed, knowing exactly what it was about.

"I'm sorry, okay, Jess?"

"Don't call me that." Jessie replied with a straight face and a hand still comfortably on the door knob. It almost looked to Rafe as if she was contemplating leaving. Thank goodness Charley was safe and sound in bed upstairs. At her words Rafe just sighed and rolled his eyes, now glancing back down at the couch he was sitting on.

"Jessie, come on. It's not like I knew about the party, I was-"

"I don't care what you were doing Rafe! We open the door, are welcomed by family and you don't think to immediately hang up the phone? Hell, you don't even think to say a few parting words! You just close the damn door as if they're inconveniencing you!"

"Do you even realize the phone call I was on?"

"What, like it matters?"

"Jessie! I was closing a contract for our new apartment here! With Central Park Towers! If I were to hang up I would've lost the only spot available!"

"We're moving?! Already?" Jessie said a little too loudly through anger. She looked up the stairs suddenly remembering their daughter was fast asleep and didn't need to be woken up. Rafe did the same. To avoid yelling, he got up from the couch and now met Jessie closer to the door.

"Yes, Jessie! You knew this was coming! We talked-"

"Yeah, but... but I didn't realize it would be so soon!" Jessie was still heated, but she was trying her hardest not to yell at this hour.

"Well you're starting to sound like a... like a..." Rafe couldn't finish the sentence despite his scrunched up face and his clear train of thought. Jessie could tell he was holding back. She always hated when people did that. She was nothing if not honest, and she always appreciated when people did the same.

"A what, Rafe?" Jessie answered with her arms crossed and leaning in as if to hear him better. "Say it with your chest!"

Rafe couldn't take it anymore. He put his hands to his head and raked his fingers through his slightly longer hair and gritted his teeth.

"An ungrateful spoiled little brat!"

"Really?" Jessie said with a laugh that was anything but humorous. "Well you know what you're acting like?" Jessie retaliated way too quickly. Rafe didn't say anything, instead he replied by putting his hands on his hips and raising his eyebrows to silently implore his wife to go on. He could tell she struggled with her next sentence just as much as he did with his previous, which in an odd way, made him grateful. It showed that she was capable of understanding the weight of her words and for once might actually be trying to spare feelings.

"Your father!"

Well, so much for the spared feelings. Rafe's mouth hung open just slightly out of shock. He closed his mouth immediately and looked at the ground. He inhaled a deep breath and started nodding his head. It looked as if he was trying carefully formulate his words, but as he picked up his head to look at Jessie she realized it was really because he was trying not to let the tears fall. Rafe looked around the room, only playing with his lips and nodding his head. Jessie was too scared to say anything else. She felt like Rafe's behavior in that moment could either make him break down crying in her arms or make him start swinging. That fear was familiar. Rafe finally brought his wildly numb eyes back to his wife, staring at her intently for a couple seconds blinking back tears.

"How so?" He choked out, not out of sadness, but out of pure rage. His straight face gave that straight away. Still, Jessie thought it an odd question to ask at a time like this. She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked herself back to reality to try and form an answer. She feared that Rafe would snap any moment if she didn't respond quick enough.

"How many times did Ward miss a birthday... a recital... a football game... because of work? How many times was he there physically, but not mentally? How many times was Ward too busy to work through deep shit with you and Wheezie and Sarah? Hm? How many times did you feel like you were drowning and nobody even looked up?" Jessie could see her words cutting deep and opening a wound in Rafe's soul she never wanted to reopen. The pain in Rafe's face twisted the knife in her own heart, as she couldn't stand to see the love of her life so hurt, even if it was the truth. "I was willing to accept this a couple weeks ago. I knew this was gonna come with the territory of being your wife and the mother of your child. I knew this years ago when I married you, Rafe. And I'd do it again. But you have been more angry, more irritable, and less present for me and Charley to a point that I can't ignore. Last week it was just dinner, today it was just a few minutes of a surprise party thrown for us... next thing you know it could be Charley's first day of Kindergarten or our anniversary." A dark hush came over them, both contemplating the words spoken. With tear filled eyes, Jessie slowly walked her bare feet over to Rafe. She wrapped her arms around his neck, making sure to play with his hair. Rafe didn't reciprocate the gesture, only keeping his hands sewn to his hips and boring his angry eyes into hers. "You and I said long ago that the one advantage we have over our fathers is that we are determined to not be like them. I call you out because I love you, Rafe. I'll never stop loving you. But you have got get your priorities straight... for me... for Charley."

Rafe's eyes went from disgust to despair.

"You're wrong."

Jessie paused in bewilderment as she looked into the sad eyes that she loved so much. Despite his clear dejection written all over his face he still insisted on being tough, just like his father. She laughed at the realization, but her face didn't dare crack a smile. She released her arms from Rafe's shoulders and backed away nodding her head slowly. She didn't have to say anything else, she had proven her point, and sadly Rafe knew it. He was angry at himself for responding just like his father would have. Still, he watched as the love of his life grabbed her leather jacket, phone, and keys, and walked out the door, leaving him with only his thoughts and his daughter still sleeping soundly upstairs.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 62

Jessie shut the door behind her, leaning up against it ever so slightly and resting her head comfortably. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks and her throat tightening as she was trying to stifle her sobs. She felt the uncontrollable heaves of her rib cage up and down as she silently cried, now looking down and closing her eyes. She attempted to catch her breath so as to not let Rafe hear her on the other side of the already thin door. But she doubted he would come if he heard her. She doubted he was even still standing there.

Little did she know, he sure was. And in the same position against the door as she was, with his head hung low and tears flowing. The both of them cried uncontrollably just mere inches from each other. It's a wonder neither one of them heard the other.

Jessie just put her hand to her mouth to try once more not to make any noise, the other hand making its way to her knee for support. She felt her legs shake and buckle and she was convinced the stress was about to make her pass out. She had never felt this feeling before, not even when she found out she was pregnant. This time was different. This time she had a daughter who knew her father, and who thought he hung the moon. This time Rafe knew about his daughter, and was smitten with her. This time it was much more complicated. Four years ago Jessie was convinced that wasn't possible, but she proved herself wrong. She couldn't take the guilt, knowing she allowed the situation that just occurred and everything leading up to it. She should have never left the Pogues in the Bahamas, she should have never let them find the cross. She should have never let Rafe back into her life after she got the gold. She should have never even said yes to the stupid plan in the first place. She should've kept to herself. As frustrated as she was with the whole situation, she couldn't shake her biggest regret.

She shouldn't have ever lit up that first joint. She should have never offered it to Rafe. And she wasn't even thinking about the time in the hot tub just weeks ago. She couldn't stop thinking about that night she met Rafe for the first time, just the two of them on that lonely beach. She regretted it more than she could express. She knew she created the mess she was in, but how could she not when that's all she's ever known? Her father only taught her one way to cope, and she had tried so hard to break the generational curse, and she did... until Rafe walked back into her life. He was always her Achilles heal. Years of pent up rage and regret were coming out all in this moment. However, this time, she didn't want to do a line. She didn't want to smoke a joint. She didn't even want a beer. The idea of drugs and alcohol in her system made her sick to her stomach. The deep emotions she was feeling right now seemed to be enough to make her sober up indefinitely. She swore in her heart and mind that she would never touch the stuff ever again. Instead, she would find a familiar high, one that was not found in her husband or her old habits, but one that was found on the open road of Manhattan, coasting through the city streets on the bike she road away on years ago.

Rafe on the other hand, couldn't get away from the thought of drugs even if he tried, and of course, he tried. He slid down the door with his head in his hands. He then heard the distant foot steps of his Jessie walking down the hallways to god knows where to do god knows what. This time, he didn't want to run after her, he didn't have the energy. He was exhausted from the mental gymnastics he's been playing for weeks, in a constant game of chess trying to keep everyone just happy enough for him to make his next move. It wasn't a choice, it was a calling... the last few weeks made it feel like a curse.

Despite Rafe's uncontrollable crying, it only lasted for mere minutes before he picked his head up and looked over at the stairs. He imagined his sweet daughter walking down them, undoubtedly being able to hear the pitter patter of her feet before he ever saw her with her bed head, squinted eyes, and favorite blanket in her arm. The realization that his precious little girl could come down at any second and see her father crying on the floor with her mother nowhere to be found was enough to pick him up off the ground and dry his eyes. He changed his demeanor on a dime. He wondered if Jessie even would come back. After all, she's left before. Surely she wouldn't leave her daughter? Either way, Rafe devoted himself then and there to being the dad he needed to be for his little girl, whether it was for this night or for this life. But god the pain he was feeling couldn't be ignored. The stress he felt over work and trying to do right by his family. The anxiety he felt over Jessie being out on the streets of Manhattan alone at night. He knew she could take care of herself, but some things just shouldn't be done. He felt like a terrible husband for letting her leave. But he also couldn't overcome the anger he had towards her for her crass words. The tension was all too much. If he was going to truly forget and move forward for his daughter he knew what he had to do. He had to start by getting some sleep.

With that in mind, he turned off the TV, knowing Tom was probably pissed considering the score of the football game, turned out the lights and went upstairs, careful with his footsteps to not wake his daughter across the hall.

Rafe stripped down to nothing as he hopped in the shower, trying to make it quick in case Charley woke up from a bad dream or wanted a midnight snack. Despite the hot shower, Rafe still didn't feel any less stressed and angry. In fact, the only thing the shower did was make him reflect on it all more, making him even more anxious to just get in bed. He slipped on some boxers from his suitcase and got in the bed, pulling the covers over his shoulders to try and get good and comfortable to coax him into a deep sleep. Of course, to no avail. Rafe simply tossed and turned for an hour, only imagining his Jessie out in the city and not in their bed. No matter how hard he tried, sleep would not come. He leaned one way and all he saw was an empty, cold pillow, he leaned the other way and felt cold himself with Jessie not being right on top of him. He couldn't stand it anymore. There was only one thing he knew would put him to sleep.

Rafe slipped out of bed and over to his suitcase. He walked so carefully and rummaged through his belongings so tediously one would have thought he was hiding something despite nobody being in the room. However, Rafe felt like he needed to hide what he was about to do. He was ashamed. But he couldn't shake it. He finally found the plastic bag he was looking for and went back to his bedside table, but not before locking the door just in case a toddler decided to come in. Charley... that was the whole reason he was doing this. He was no good if he didn't get some damn sleep one way or the other. At least, that's what he convinced himself of. If her mother wasn't gonna be home tomorrow morning he had better be well rested and ready to make his daughter's favorite breakfast, and he definitely wasn't planning on showing an ounce of sadness, anger, or remorse in front of his child. He always tried his hardest to never let Charley see him upset, and this was just one way he could make sure that he came through on that promise.

As Rafe stared at the perfect line of coke on the wooden table, he contemplated what he was about to do, taking a deep breath of disappointment and pursing his lips.

"Shit." Rafe whispered under his breath. He was so annoyed with himself, but he had to do it. This time, not for the high, but for the mellow. He needed to chill the hell out. With one final groan of aggravation Rafe smacked himself as if to pull him out of his trance and snort the line without a second thought. With a few sniffles and deep breaths, Rafe sat on the edge of the bed with his hands on his knees trying to stabilize himself and let the drugs take over. Once he was ready, he went back to unlock the door and crawl back in bed.

Rafe still couldn't get Jessie out of his head, the anger, the worry, the confusion. But he knew he would fall asleep soon enough. He looked over at the clock to see that it was almost one in the morning. Damn he thought. Would he ever get to sleep? And where in the hell could Jessie be? Before Rafe could think anymore he heard the creaking of the door and an unmistakable angelic voice. He jerked his head towards the door, focusing his eyes on a moonlit face.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, princess?" Rafe asked barely above a whisper as he propped himself up with one arm and looked intently. He watched as Charley approached the bed.

"Can I sleep with you?"

Rafe let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and let out a small chuckle.

"Of course you can, baby." He replied as he sat up completely to grab his daughter and lay her comfortably on the other side. He laid back down with her and looked her in the eyes. She did the same.

"Where's mommy?"

The question broke Rafe's heart right in two. He held back tears as he wondered how many times Charley would have to ask that question in her lifetime. He hoped just this once.

"She's... she... went for a walk." Rafe didn't have the heart and say that she'd be back soon. He didn't know that for sure. And he couldn't lie to his little girl. He could see the confusion in Charley's face, but he dismissed it by cupping her tiny face with his hand.

"Is she coming back?" Charley asked innocently but clearly with an ounce of concern laced throughout. It broke his heart to know that she even knew how to be worried. Still, he couldn't bare to lie to her.

"I-I'm sure she is, baby. For right now it's just you and me." Rafe replied softly with a fake half smile. He tried to distract her from the previous conversation. "Why'd you wanna sleep with me, doll?"

"I don't know." She shrugged innocently. "I just missed you and mommy."

Rafe tried his hardest not to let the tears fall, but his lips sure did quiver. But he had to be strong, his daughter was not going to see him break, ever. To avoid the pitiful sight, Rafe simply scooped up the girl and laid her on his chest for a warm, safe hug. Charley loved lying on her father's chest so the act didn't seem unusual to her.

"I miss mommy too, princess."

Those were the only words Rafe could utter, yet his daughter's words rang in his ears like bells. She didn't know why she came in that room, but Rafe knew exactly why. He needed her, whether she realized it or not.

As the father and daughter drifted soundly to sleep, Jessie was still out riding her motorbike down 5th avenue, catching glimpses of the lively night clubs and the occasional person walking down the street. It was late enough to not be bombarded with people, and it helped that it was a week night so there was no outrageous noise or crowds. This was the one thing Jessie missed doing. After she had Charley it was pretty much nonexistent for her to be able to get up and go ride without a care in the world. Besides, this was her way of releasing after what had just occurred, and she thought Rafe should be grateful considering she was staying away from her old vices in doing so. The only reason Jessie for once felt comfortable with leaving and doing something like this is because she knew Rafe was there. Sure Rafe was unpredictable and emotionally high when she left, but she knew she could always trust him when it came to their daughter. Charley was safe, and she planned on thanking Rafe in the morning.

As Jessie came to a stop light, she looked around at the buildings that billowed around her. She became mesmerized by the lights of the neon signs. As she looked to her right she could see herself in the reflection of the glass of a store that was of course closed. She looked closer at herself. For the first time in a long time she noticed she looked different, and it was a difference that only she could see. She looked tired, not physically, but mentally. She could see the numbness behind her eyes and her lips sat in a frown. It was as if she lost her natural inclination to live freely and even her face showed it unintentionally.

For once, Jessie couldn't escape the noise in her head. She may have walked out physically, but Rafe walked out mentally. She could see the darkness consume his eyes and knew what that meant all too well. There's no reasoning with Rafe at that point. The point which she drove him to. Thats what killed her the most: the fact that she did it... again. The guilt ate away at her. She inevitably blew up the family she was trying to preserve when she left.

Although Jessie may have left for the night, she had every intention of coming back... she couldn't say the same for Rafe. She didn't know if he would ever come back from the man she saw just hours ago.

There was one other reason Jessie couldn't leave for good. Her own mother did the same to her. Left her as a toddler with her pothead father and never looked back. Jessie could never quite comprehend why. Now that she's older, she assumes it had everything to do with the man she was married to... Jessie understood, but she still could never justify abandoning her child. She knew she would come back, she just needed some time— some time to love the girl in the reflection more than she loved the father of her child.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 63

Around three in the morning is when Jessie finally decided to dawn the doors of her apartment. To her surprise, she didn't see a single light turned on downstairs, let alone a disassociated Rafe waiting up for her. She didn't expect him to. She was glad he was getting some sleep.

Jessie quietly set her keys on the kitchen table and took her jacket off to hang it on the rack and kicked off her boots right beside it. Feeling exhausted, she trudged up the stairs with her posture crumbling with each step.

She rubbed her eyes as she walked down the hall, noticing the moonlight coming from the open door of her bedroom. She also noticed Charley's door was open. Already she could tell the situation was even more off than when she left, and her heart raced at the idea that something could be wrong. She began to pick up the pace to get to her room. She swung through the door to see Charley sound asleep on Rafe's chest, who was also out like a light. She sighed in relief and held her hand to her chest as she was warmed by the sight. She knew Rafe would take care of her. The sight before her was enough to put her mind at ease in knowing that Rafe really was trying to do his best. She had to give him credit where it was due. Still, time would tell if he would keep that promise.

Not wanting to disturb their sleep, she quietly changed out of her clothes and walked back downstairs to sleep on the couch. She was sure Charley probably wanted to sleep with both her mommy and daddy, but Jessie wasn't ready to sleep in the bed with Rafe just yet. She wasn't one to act like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. She needed him to know that she meant business, so on the couch she stayed.

As she lay on the small knitted sofa she looked up at the popcorn ceiling. As she curled up with the warm blanket she kept in the basket in the living room she realized that she wouldn't be having too many more nights in this apartment. It was a bitter sweet reality. She remembered in Rafe's outburst him telling her that he had an apartment all lined up... in Central Park. She thought they might as well have stayed in the Plaza. Central Park Towers was one of the kookiest places someone could stay in Manhattan, and although she should have been excited... she just wasn't. This would be the first time she actually lived in such a lavish lifestyle... not vacation, not sneaking in and out of Tanneyhill... she was a permanent resident to the lifestyle she used to despise people over. The Pogues always wanted to go full kook, always wanting what the rich around them had, but not Jessie. To her it always seemed like a glass house or a fancy cage, and the more she got to know Rafe, the more she was convinced of that fact. Jessie wondered if there was a way she could somehow break the generational Cameron curse of perfect poise and prestige. She hadn't been able to do it yet, but she came pretty damn close a few times. Now that she was Mrs. Cameron, she thought maybe... just maybe... she could change the trajectory of a lineage that was always hell bound for destruction and greed. If she couldn't stop it all at once (and she figured she couldn't), she just had to slow it down... somehow. Regardless, she had to put the worry out of her mind and get some sleep. Who knew what tomorrow would hold?

- - -

Rafe awoke surprisingly before his daughter. He figured it was because Jessie still wasn't beside him and he knew it subconsciously. Through all his toss and turns even with Charley safe beside him he still felt that the bed was cold... empty.

When Rafe couldn't take laying in the bed wide awake anymore, he decided to gently lay the toddler over on her moms side of the bed, making sure to tuck her in extra tight so she'd stay warm and cozy. He gave a soft kiss to her forehead before he exited the room to make his way downstairs. He didn't bother with putting on a shirt or even sweatpants, opting for just boxers as he was a little hot from having a child sleep on top of him. Although he never complained. Rafe rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he thumped down the stairs, it wasn't until he made it down that he realized he should've been quieter, because there his wife was, sleeping soundly on the couch. Although Rafe wanted to be upset that she was not in bed with them, he couldn't help but feel relieved that she was even home. He didn't expect her to be. He creeped towards the living room to admire her further, seeing as she was dead asleep with her body curled up into as best a fetal position as she could manage being on the couch. She was cold. He couldn't bear the thought of her trying to warm herself with nothing but her own body heat and a thin blanket. Out of habit, Rafe scrambled to find another bigger blanket in the hall closet, quickly fanning it out to lay on top of her. He didn't want to wake her up, especially considering he was still mad at her. But god, he couldn't let her be cold. Thankfully, she didn't stir.

Rafe went back towards the kitchen for his original mission, which was to find something to eat. He opted for some muffins that Jessie always kept on hand for Charley's lunches. He had to admit, his kid had good taste. He grimaced at the fact that there was only four little muffins in the prepackaged bag, so of course he had one or two more. By the third bag Rafe lost all manners and ripped it open not nearly as quietly as he had been. Now making himself comfortable in an island chair scrolling through his phone, he opened the bag that would make enough noise to pull his wife out of her sleep.

Jessie heard something crinkle, but couldn't pinpoint if it was a dream she was having or if it was her unsupervised child ripping into something. Even half asleep her mom senses were tingling. She immediately opened her eyes and sat up to look behind the sofa, only to find an almost naked Rafe shoving muffins in his mouth two at a time. She was convinced he was about to choke. The thought made her get up, trying not to make a sound— or eye contact— as she walked to the fridge right in front of her husband. He took notice of what she was wearing, some old plaid pj shorts and a tank top. He assumed she dug the clothes out from the very back of her pajama drawer, bound and determined not to wear a sweatshirt of his to bed like usual. No wonder she was cold. He studied the back of her as she opened the fridge door to grab the milk, swinging herself over to him and looking him in the eyes as she silently poured a glass. Both of them had the same expression: calculated straight faces. It was just like they were back in the Bahamas when they reunited, both of them feeling each other out as if this was a game of chess. Jessie made the next move as she slid the cup over to Rafe for him to take. Rafe didn't dare pull his eyes away from the woman in front of him, only swallowing the rest of his food and giving her a suspicious side eye as he took the milk and brought it to his lips.

Jessie laid her hands on the counter in front of her, her eyes looking just as fiercely at the man in front of her. She tapped her nails against the granite and played with the skin on her lips, pulling them in between her teeth. It was clear neither one of them were going to break first, just like when they were kids... volatile as ever.

Just like old times, both of them were too angry to ever believe that they could have done something wrong. Once Jessie realized that Rafe really wasn't going to budge and speak to her, she took a deep breath, showing her clear annoyance for the situation and slunk around the counter to sit in the island chair beside him, no longer allowing him eye contact. However, she made sure to make herself a bowl of cereal before taking a seat. With that she plopped into the chair dramatically and hunched over her food as if to close Rafe off. Rafe picked up on the pouting, and looked over at his wife with judgement as he clicked his tongue and shook his head. He also couldn't help but let a chuckle escape his lips at how ridiculous she was being. Suddenly, the words escaped his mouth faster than he could catch them.

"Don't unpack anything... we're moving today."

Jessie looked up from her bowl and stared at the kitchen in front of her, for once at a loss for words. She slowly chewed the rest of the food that was in her mouth as she contemplated her words, trying very hard not to cause another blow up like yesterday. She still couldn't bare to look in Rafe's direction, so she let the spoon fall with a loud clank on her bowl. She rubbed her hands on her legs as if to give her mind and body something to do.

"I'm really trying to choose my words here." Jessie admitted with a timid tone, a new development for her. She had to make this work, no more running.

"Smart girl." Rafe sassed back as he looked down at his wife with a face and tone that showed he was fed up. Boy how the tables have turned. Suddenly Jessie found herself in the same position she was in four years ago, walking on egg shells so as to not piss Rafe off. She felt like he was ticking time bomb once again. Still, she got annoyed with his blatant disrespect and her face showed it.

"You're not making this any easier." Jessie retorted with venom. Rafe just shrugged as if he didn't care. Jessie was convinced he didn't. Still, she had to remain as neutral as possible. They had a daughter sleeping upstairs and even though they weren't on the same page about most nowadays, they always had the silent understanding they would never make their daughter listen to them fight. She sighed as she mustered up the courage for her next words.

"I feel like this is all happening way too fast. I really wasn't prepared to come back home and just move to a new building that's not surrounded by our family."

"Your family."

The allegation cut deep despite Rafe saying it with numb eyes and solid face.

"Rafe, they're not just my family. You know that. They wanted to visit with you yesterday just as much as they did me. You just won't give them the time of day unless it's convenient-"

"Convenient?" Rafe interrupted with raised brows. "Jessie, nothing about anything I'm doing right now is convenient! Did you think it was convenient when I dodged the rest of my calls yesterday to spend time with your family? Do you think it's convenient this morning for me to be ignoring my phone calls because you and Charley are sleeping? You don't know a damn thing about convenience."

Oh how wrong Rafe was. Jessie knew all about being inconvenienced the last four years. Hell, her whole life. But she didn't have the energy to fight, not when she knew Rafe wasn't ready to listen. They both would be talking to brick walls, and from experience that got them nowhere.

"It's not that I don't appreciate it Rafe it's just-"

"Really?" Rafe laughed, "cuz that's exactly what it sounds like."

"Rafe I just-"

"No ya know what? Save it, Jessie. I'm tired of the complaining. The least you could do is show a little support as I try and get all this figured out. And you-"

Rafe couldn't finish that sentence, his eyes got wide as he heard the subtle rumbling of little feet down the stairs. He swung his shirtless torso around to see his daughter slowly making her way down the steps. She seemed to be getting better at those every day as she wobbled less and less.

"Morning sweetie." Jessie exclaimed with a bright smile on her face, immediately getting up out of her chair to scoop her daughter up in her arms.

"Mommy!" Charley replied as she danced in place with her arms stuck in the air waiting to be picked up. Rafe couldn't ignore that smile on her face as she saw her mother. Even though he was beyond tired of Jessie's shit, he couldn't ignore their bond, having no choice but to be touched by it. Jessie may have her moments of being a terrible partner, but she was a damn good mom, and Rafe would never take that title away from her. He softened his stare as he looked over at his two girls. Jessie and Charley both looked at him as they embraced with huge smiles and giggles, clearly in their own little world.

"Good morning, princess." Rafe said softly with a fake smile that was not nearly as big as his wife's.

"Daddy, look, she came back! I told you!"

The accusation hurt Jessie. What hurt even more is not knowing what Rafe was saying to his daughter about her outing. Yes, she left abruptly... but did he really think she wasn't coming back? And did he really allow his three year old to think that as well? That was a whole different can of whoop ass that Jessie planned to unleash later. For now, she dismissed the rage and held her daughter tighter while swinging her back and forth.

"I will always come back, Charlotte. I'll never leave you. I will always come running if you need me, do you understand?" Jessie said rather seriously as she looked at her daughter with kind eyes. Charley nodded in understanding as she buried her head bashfully in her mother's neck and stuck the baby blanket she had in her mouth. Jessie looked at Rafe with a fierceness.

"And so will daddy." She said, not as a promise, but as a threat. Rafe only nodded with awkward pursed lips as if he felt just a tinge of guilt for possibly letting his daughter believe otherwise. He was technically still new to consoling a child... his child... especially under the duress he currently found himself under.

Rafe simply tried to ignore the piercing gaze of his girls as if they weren't boring into his soul with the same exact eyes and got up from his chair to make his way upstairs.

"I'm gonna go get ready for the day. Be ready at noon." Rafe responded with an oddly stable tone. As he said the last sentence he leaned down to Jessie to land a soft kiss to her cheek. Although the kiss didn't feel like one of love, not even of lust, but a kiss that was planted only in the name of saving face in front of their daughter.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 64

"Are you girls ready to go?" Rafe yelled up the stairs, now dawning a loose black button up and jeans. As he fixed the cuff of his sleeve he heard his wife yell back down.

"Coming!"

The two girls walked down the stairs to see what little luggage they had on hand already at the door.

"The rest of our stuff is already on the way to the penthouse." Rafe replied, managing the perfect amount of cold interest. Jessie squinted her eyes with a curious smile.

"Penthouse?" Rafe never mentioned anything about a penthouse. Then again, she never gave him the chance in between her protests and his defenses. He pursed his lips and raised his brows. Jessie could tell some serious sass was about to roll out of his mouth.

"Only the best for my girls." He snapped back with the prissiest smile on his face as he extended his arm for Jessie to wrap herself around. This was something Jessie was not used to... playing house. However, Rafe knew exactly what it meant to play the part of a loving, not at all stressed out husband who has his family perfectly in order and his life completely figured out... he learned from the best.

Despite Rafe playing the part so well, Jessie couldn't get the icky feeling out of her stomach as she walked down the hall of her old apartment arm in arm with her husband. She looked back at the wooden door as she watched it disappear in the distance. This wasn't Jessie. It was so unlike her to be fake. How long was she supposed to keep this up? It was already exhausting. No wonder Rafe is so overwhelmed. On the outside she seemed poised, but on the inside she was screaming.

As they made their way to the car out front the three of them piled in, Charley completely oblivious to the tension and merely just excited about the new adventure her parents told her about. Rafe on the other hand, was once again enraptured in his phone, furiously texting away as if he had only seconds to respond. Jessie gave a subtle side eye to not seem like she was staring, taking notice of Rafe's lip in between his teeth in thought and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He finally sent the novel he was typing and looked up at Jessie.

"The museum Pope chose now has the cross in their possession, and the transaction went through."

"Oh, well that's good." Jessie didn't know what else to say, still clearly at a stalemate with her husband. He simply nodded his head in response.

"Tomorrow Pope Hayward and the Pogues should be millionaires." Rafe said plainly looking out the window and up at the skyscrapers.

"I'll try to tell JJ not to spend it all in one place." Jessie attempted a joke to lighten the mood.

"What, like the liquor store?" Rafe reciprocated with a light smile. They both laughed a little and looked down, both of them suddenly becoming nervous at the fact that they just let their guard down a little. They were supposed to still be mad at each other, and yet the act was always so hard for them. Still, Jessie wasn't completely sure they would be able to get over this. Would time heal them? Rafe wondered the same. Yet neither of them were willing to take the blame, or at least willing to admit that they weren't who they used to be. Neither of them could tell who was truly at fault for that anymore.

Both of them played with the skin on their fingers awkwardly to avoid blowing any more holes in their angry facade. The car ride from then on was silent and the air was thick with tension and confusion.

"We're here." Rafe stated monotonously, not bothering to look at Jessie before exiting the vehicle. She noticed the extra force behind the pop of the door handle as he opened it. As Jessie unbuckled the toddler sitting in between them she heard her door open, revealing her husband holding the handle to her surprise. His face was still solid... immovable, yet she read him loud and clear. Even in his frustration, nobody else was going to open the door for his girls while he was around. Rafe was filthy rich, but he wasn't rude. He swallowed the lump in his throat and eyed Jessie as he waited for her to exit.

Not wanting to waste any more time, Jessie slipped out of the car with Charley on her hip. Charley smiled bashfully at her father as she watched him close the door, Jessie didn't crack the tiniest grin, feeling that this was all a game anyways.

"Mr. Cameron! So nice to finally meet you!" A stocky, clean shaven doorman greeted Rafe as he led the two up the marble stair case that was of course lined with red carpet. Jessie thought priceless marble and red velvet was a little much for an outdoor entry way... but hey... when in Rome.

Rafe plastered a smile on his face as he shook the doorman's hand.

"I'm Tony." The doorman introduced himself to Jessie by shaking her hand, he then turned his attention to the girl in her arms, giving her a friendly gentle wave with a wide smile. He seemed like a very sweet man.

"Hi, Tony, I'm Jessie and-"

"And this is Charley. Our daughter." Rafe finished the sentence for her with a bright smile that clearly was only used to annoy Jessie. And it worked, because she wanted to smack the smile right off of her husband's face right then and there for speaking over her... or for her. Rafe knew she didn't need anyone to speak on her behalf, yet he did, just to get under her skin a little more. All Jessie could seem to think is that Rafe was not doing a good job at proving that he wasn't like his father. Jessie remembered the fair share of complaints that came from a teenaged Rafe, specifically about his father always speaking for him. Still, she held her tongue— literally— and faked a smile towards the kind gentlemen.

"Well it's freezing out here! Let's get you inside!" Tony exclaimed with excitement as he rubbed his white glove clad hands together. The second Jessie stepped out of the car she felt the frigid cold temperatures and secretly wished she had the trench coat on that Tony did. Winter in Manhattan was much different than winter in outer banks. She couldn't wait to unpack their stuff.

Rafe guided his wife up the stairs with a hand on her back. Jessie didn't feel it was placed there out of love, but out of control, which she was growing increasingly aware of. Each tiny detail that Rafe was displaying was another tick on the time bomb of Jessie's rage. She physically squirmed at the attempt to control her, and of course, Rafe picked up on it. Oddly enough, he wasn't terrified of Jessie's anger anymore, he no longer felt like constantly walking on egg shells. That feeling was one that he hadn't felt in about four years when they called it quits. He could feel his own disregard for pleasantries coming on at any point as well, and although he should've been afraid, he wasn't. He liked how it broke her down, the same way she would break him down slowly. It was almost as if he was waiting... looking... for a fight.

"Mr. Cameron! Pleasure to meet you!" A prestigious looking man who introduced himself as Mr. Salimony greeted the family in the grand lobby, which was adorned with Christmas trees, live piano, and warm lights. It was then that Jessie just remembered it was almost Christmas. God, she needed to look at the calendar. What would she even buy Charley? Did she even have time? And how much money-

"Jessica?" Rafe waved his hand in front of his wife's bewildered face. He could see that although she was staring at the Christmas decor she was deep in thought about something else. She clearly didn't hear him introduce her to the man the first time, which in his eyes warranted the full name. She snapped her head back towards the conversation.

"Huh! Oh, I'm so sorry! My name's Jessie, it's so nice to meet you." She replied with a half smile. "I was just... amazed at the... beautiful decorations!" She wondered if that was what she was supposed to say. She had never been in a place so extravagant. All of it felt so fragile.

"Yes, well it is our busy season here in Central Park. But not to worry, you will have a private penthouse with your own elevator so as to not be disturbed by our other guests."

Disturbed. The very word made her laugh out loud. Jessie was already disturbed, and it was by the lack of freedom she felt from the place alone. A private elevator? She kind of wished she could do something normal with the rest of the public, especially something as simple as taking a damn elevator up to the right floor... her floor apparently. Every passing second that she learned more about this place seemed to be feeling like a trap... an expensive, prestigious trap.

"Look mommy! At the trees!" Charley finally exploded, not being able to take the excitement from all the things she had to look at. Jessie giggled as she pulled her hand down so as to not point. Apparently that's rude in a place like this. She could see her eyes fluttering wildly in between all the masterpieces. Oh how she wished to be that innocent and in love with beauty.

"Yeah, baby, I see it! Isn't it pretty!" Jessi replied with a joyous tone. Mr. Salimony admired the moment and couldn't help but lean over to Rafe.

"You have a beautiful family. If those girls need anything while you're here please do not hesitate to call me day or night." The owner whispered as he slipped Rafe his card from the chest pocket of his suit. Rafe nodded in understanding and patted him on the back to show appreciation for the sentiment.

"Well, let's get you up to your floor!" The bald man whistled over a bellhop, who of course came running right away.

"Right this way." The young man exclaimed as he lead the way to the private elevator. The walk towards the private hall seemed like a maze that Jessie would definitely have to get used to. Charley was still mesmerized by the beautiful, intricate detailing found everywhere, even in their elevator. As they went up to the top floor, which seemed to Jessie to take forever, Charley traced the fine print wallpaper with her fingers. Jessie could tell she wanted to treat it like a coloring book and scribble all over it with her crayons. She made a mental note to always have her arts and crafts supplies put away when they used the elevator, knowing just how quick Charley could be with her antics. The thought brought her to another question in her head: was this place even meant for a child to stay in? Surely Rafe had thought of that? Before Jessie could dive deeper into her questions the door was opened, revealing a gorgeous cream colored hallway, adorned with the finest carpet and the most warming lights.

The bellhop took them down to their door, opening it with the key to reveal what Jessie thought was an illusion. She expected fancy... but this...

Rafe walked through the door first, Jessie had to remind herself to pick up her now heavy feet. He could see she was struggling to comprehend the sight, and he could also tell his daughter was getting squirmy. He decided to take the toddler from her grasp and plant her on his hip, knowing she wasn't ready to be let loose in the house just yet. Rafe had to lay a few ground rules for the little girl.

"You'll find that all your luggage is here. Your things have been put away. Lunch is ready in the dining room when you are, sir."

"Thank you... Timothy." Rafe said kindly, taking a moment to read the young man's shirt before slipping him a twenty dollar bill. The man nodded his head with a closed mouth smile and shut the door quietly, leaving the family to themselves.

Jessie had no words, despite the bright white walls and floor to ceiling windows overlooking the vast New York City, she couldn't help but feel the walls were caving in. Even though Rafe and her still weren't on good terms, Rafe knew her inside and out, and could tell she was crumbling under the weight of it all from the swallowing in her throat to rapid eye movements. He watched her fingers fiddle with the hem of her dress, clutching it tighter and tighter as she slowly walked around the living room.

"What do you think?" Rafe broke the silence. Just like this morning, Jessie paused to choose her words carefully.

"It's... a... amazing." Jessie lied. Rafe knew it.

"What're you concerned about?" He asked, his face expressionless, not wanting to show anymore interest then he needed to for tactical reasons. He observed Jessie smoothing out the white fabric of the back of the couch, boring her soul into it as well.

"It's... it's a white couch."

"And?"

"We have a three year old."

"Well then she'll just eat in the dining room like she's supposed to."

Jessie didn't like that answer, suddenly forgetting her good graces and giving Rafe a look that said really? He couldn't help but look down and laugh at his Jessie coming out in that moment. There she was.

"Orrr we can get a new couch." He reasoned with a slight smile. He immediately bit his lip trying not to seem too overjoyed. He looked out at the city below him and brought his daughter to the glass. Charley immediately fell onto the window, allowing for all kinds of prints to be left on the once immaculate glass. Rafe just laughed as he watched her look down below with her face smushed up against the barrier that she wished wasn't there.

Jessie decided to take the opportunity to dismiss herself, suddenly feeling like she was about to throw up. She went to what she assumed to be the master bedroom, not paying it much attention as she zipped right past the California King to the master bathroom. Before she could lean over the toilet to puke she stopped in her tracks when she noticed all of her stuff meticulously placed in cabinets and shelves. She realized the bellhop wasn't kidding when he said they had put everything in its place... she got a closer look by rummaging through the drawers in annoyance, finding things like her hair dryer, medicine, and everything in between wrapped up perfectly in its place. She was disgusted at the thought. She imagined she would at least be able to rearrange the cage— or house— like she wanted it, but even that had been stripped from her. She suddenly darted back into the bedroom, sure enough finding all her clothes had been perfectly folded and put away how Central Park Towers must have thought it should be. She backed away from the dresser in confusion, eventually running into the bed and having no choice but to sit down on it. She took a deep breath to settle herself and put her head in her hands at a loss of words. Suddenly she realized that sweet Charley's room was probably in the same manicured state. Her eyes went wide and she plundered through the house, her shoes clicking on the true hard wood across the living room as she went over to her daughter's room. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Rafe looking her up and down in confusion at her reckless state. She disregarded it and opened the door to what she assumed was Charley's room, it wasn't. It was the office. She scoffed and went to another door to find the toddlers room, and yes, it was magically set up too. Her toys in a stupid little basket that didn't have her favorite princesses on it, her blankets neatly folded on top of her dresser instead of tangled up in her unmade bed like usual, and the bed was a big girl bed, one that did not match her previous island theme at all, one that was bland and was sure to bore her.

Jessie huffed and puffed and whizzed out of the room with fury written on her face and in her movements. She didn't get halfway out of the door before running into a brick wall that was her husband. She stumbled back.

"Woah, hey..." Rafe exclaimed as he tried to catch her with his one free hand. "What is up with you-"

"Why does my daughter's room look like it came straight out of a damn Sears magazine?" Jessie seethed with a stomp of her foot and point of her finger.

"Woah woah woah." Rafe tried to soothe as he set his child down to walk into her room and explore. He knew nothing was breakable in there. "What's wrong with it looking like that?" He asked innocently holding his hands out.

"It's ... its..." Jessie muttered as she frantically looked around for the words with narrowed eyes. "It's boring! Charley is not boring. And she's gonna get bored of a room that belongs in a black and white film!"

"Jessie, it's the first day... we can get her room rearranged how she wants it." Rafe tried to reason with a clearly softer tone than the one he had previously used. This was not the fight he was looking for today, and he did somewhat understand his wife's frustrations this time.

"Thats the problem, Rafe! They already did all the shit for me! I didn't even get the chance to get the house like I wanted! I just come in here and all my stuff is put away and there's lunch on the table like their..."

Rafe's face said it all. He wasn't quite understanding what the problem was. Jessie sighed as she looked at his confused eyes, knowing she was getting nowhere. Although this time Rafe seemed more receptive than he had been the last 24 hours, which was something she was grateful to see.

"I'm sorry, I'm really not understanding the issue here, Jess. I thought... I thought you'd appreciate one less thing for us to do? I know I sure do."

Jessie sighed again and put her hands up in defeat, clearly unable to articulate what's going on in her head.

"It's not..." Jessie grew frustrated, as she now tapped on her temples like her husband does when he's trying to think. She began to sway back and forth. "It's not that I don't like the idea of having things done for me... it's the principle... of coming into a new house that I didn't get to pick, that I didn't get to decide when we moved, and now I didn't even get to make it ours..."

"Is this really about control right now, Jessie?" Rafe asked now with more disbelief and annoyance in his tone. She grew visibly frustrated as she realized that she once again didn't convey the right message.

"No, it just... ugh... it just, feels like less of a new house and more of a prison sentence... I mean I can't even use the same damn elevator as everyone else like I'm some sort of celebrity!"

"But I thought you'd like the kook-"

"I never wanted full kook, Rafe! Everyone else did! I wanted you!"

The silence was loud between them, and Jessie began to tear up.

"I never fell in love with you because you were a kook! You know I hated that shit! Still do! All the Pogues wanna be kooks and that's fine but not me. That's why I wasn't afraid to leave all those years ago... being broke is what made me rich, Rafe."

Rafe took a step back and sighed in frustration. Jessie could see his jaw clinch as he scratched the back of his head and put the other hand on his hip. He finally looked up with sharp eyes.

"Rafe..."

"What."

"It's not that I'm not grateful," she whispered, "it's just that I wish we could have decided together. Then maybe this wouldn't feel so... transactional."

Rafe looked down and clicked his tongue, now shaking his head slowly in understanding.

"Okay," He replied in a hushed tone. "I hear you." He was still clearly trying to come up with a solution. "Look, Christmas is coming up in a couple of weeks. How about we get the pogues over here and spend Christmas with them. While they're here they can even watch Charley and we'll go Christmas shopping for her? Sound good?" Rafe asked, although he didn't move from his spot across from her. Despite his warm words, his tone and his body language was cold. Still, Jessie tried to take the win.

"Th- that'd be good." She uttered shakily, frantically looking at Rafe's body just to not look him in his disappointed eyes. She could take his sadness, his confusion, even his anger, but not his disappointment.

Rafe simply nodded and sniffled as if to get himself back together with a quick swipe of his nose and adjustment of his button up.

"Alright well..." Rafe cleared his throat, looking back at Jessie with a newfound poise. "Let's go eat."

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 65

"Princess," Rafe began to speak to his daughter who was sitting to his right at the dining table, his wife to his left watched intently. Charley's eyes buzzed with charisma as she looked up at her father waiting for more words. "Starting today you can only eat at the table, okay? No more eating in your room or on the couch."

Jessie didn't have the energy to protest, opting to raise her eyebrows as she ate her perfectly prepared lunch. It was clear by the look on the child's face that she didn't quite understand why the new rule was in place, but she didn't protest. Rafe didn't expect her to know immediately, but he trusted she would learn over time. He went back to eating.

"I've got some meetings later tonight after Charley goes to bed. You're welcome to wait up for me but I just want you to know it's gonna be a late night." Rafe thought he was being kind by giving Jessie a heads up, yet the words felt sharp, especially considering they were not accompanied by eye contact. She hesitated to speak, but she mustered an answer.

"Why're they so late?"

"Because they're in different time zones." Rafe responded quickly as he chewed his food, not seeming annoyed, just trying to keep it simple.

"Oh." Jessie exhaled the breath she didn't know she was holding and went back to eating.

"Daddy, can we play later?" Charley asked in her broken English as she played with the kids fork in her hand. Rafe was quick to correct her hand movement as he pointed the fork back down to the food gently.

"Not today, sweetheart. Daddy's got work to do."

Charley had no words, only a look that could make anyone melt. Her lip quivered a little as she looked down at her food that she was suddenly uninterested in eating. Rafe noticed, and he had to look away.

"I'll play with you, baby. Whatever you wanna play." Jessie answered with a conjured smile.

"But I wanted to play wrestllllle... only uncle JJ and daddy play thaaaat."

Charley was right, her father and uncle were always the best at "wrestling" with the toddler. They could always throw her around like a rag doll and she thought it was the best game ever. It didn't help that Charley of course missed her uncle, so she was leaning on her daddy especially more.

"I can wrestle just as good daddy!" Jessie said with a scoff as she pretended to be hurt. Charley laughed.

"Ain't that the truth." Rafe uttered under his breath as he quickly took a bite of his food. The sarcasm was dripping from his tone, knowing that he wasn't talking about physical wrestling. Touché Jessie thought.

"Maybe we can call uncle JJ later. Sound good, doll?" Jessie asked, to which Charley immediately gasped and nodded frantically with newfound bright eyes once again.

After a few hours of getting settled and playing around of course, Jessie got Charley tired enough to get ready for bed. The two girls hadn't seen much of Rafe since lunch due to him being shut away in his office. Although, from time to time they could certainly hear him.

As Jessie bathed her daughter she tried her hardest not to miss the man she wished was sitting next to her. She tried not to let the mental distance get to her. Jessie saw this as an opportunity to make her bond with Charley even stronger, feeling that once again her daughter was her strength... her reason to keep going. Although, this time around, the distance hit much harder. The rift between her and Rafe was no longer only thousands of miles apart, it was 18 inches apart from their head to their hearts, both breaking in two at the moment. This time the distance was much harder given that Jessie now had to balance an unhealthy family dynamic rather than just being a healthy single mom. This was her worst nightmare... and the whole reason she left. She could see Rafe turning into the emotionless man he once was. Although, she didn't let the worry show on her face and merely put her energy into taking care of her daughter like she always had.

Despite Rafe being busy, Jessie knew he wouldn't be too busy to tell his daughter goodnight. At least she'd hoped. With that, she took a freshly cleaned, pajama clad girl into his office, not before softly knocking on the door and poking her head in to hopefully take the brunt of whatever frustration he might have in the moment. She opened the door to see a disheveled man with papers strewn all over his desk and a pin tapping furiously in his right hand. He jerked his head up with wide eyes of curiosity when he heard the door open.

"Charley wants to say goodnight."

Rafe's face immediately went soft as he pushed his desk chair back to accept the impending snuggles.

"Well bring her in here." He replied quickly with a smile. For once Jessie could see that it was real, as he really could use a sweet distraction right now, or at least something to bring him back down to earth. Jessie cracked a smile and opened the door a little wider to reveal a shy little girl hiding behind her legs looking for approval to come running. Rafe caught on to her silent plea and opened his arms wide. Suddenly the toddler ran furiously to her father with hands swinging and giggles flying.

"Come herrrrre!" Rafe growled jokingly as he scrunched up his face and picked up his daughter to sit her in his lap as he bear hugged her, throwing her into a fit of more giggles. He then tickled her which sent her head backwards and feet flying aimlessly. He got up from his chair and spun her around the room.

"Daddy! Airplane!"

Rafe knew exactly what that meant. Jessie watched as he held Charley up out in front of him and she extended her arms like the wings of an airplane. He then made the plane noise with his lips and "flew" her all the way to her room across the hall, to which she couldn't help but laugh. He "crash landed" her right into her bed and sat himself comfortably beside her as he tucked her in. Jessie joined them quietly, trying not to disturb the moment Charley was getting with her father.

"Goodnight, baby. I love you." Rafe said softly as he swiped some hair out of his daughter's face and rubbed her cheek with his thumb.

"Yuv you too, daddy!" Charley replied with a grin as she buried herself shyly into the pillows. Jessie told her goodnight as well and brought some of her neatly folded blankets over to snuggle up with like she always liked. With that, they both went to the doorway.

"Ya know what I say, princess. If you need mommy or daddy, just yell..."

"Cuz you come runnin!" Charley finished the sentence, to which they both nodded and turned out the light and softly shut the door.

There the two adults stood across from each other, Rafe putting his hands in his front pockets and Jessie rubbing her hands together. They both inhaled sharply and looked at each other, not really sure of what to do or say.

Jessie was silently begging for Rafe to come around, to say something, anything, that had even a hint of emotion behind it. But the words wouldn't come, instead, she watched as her husband nodded his head and looked everywhere but his wife's eyes.

"Well..." Rafe hushed as he clapped his hands together. "I should uh... get back to work."

Jessie just nodded her head with a half smile, although Rafe definitely picked up on the defeated look on her face. He had to disregard it as he trudged behind her back to his office. Jessie looked back as she watched him hang his head low. She assumed he didn't know she was watching, but she of course caught on to his exhaustion. She took a deep breath trying to decide what to do next.

Jessie slowly walked back down the hallway, her bare feet now taking the time to feel the soft expensive carpet underneath her. Her toes curled up around it as she admired it for just a second before making her way over to the kitchen.

She looked around at the gold crusted faucets and handles. She ran her hand over the no doubt priceless marble island in the middle of the cream colored kitchen. It was simply her and the single warm light above the island to keep her company in the otherwise dark room. She took the opportunity to pretend like she was back in her old apartment... her old home... and opened the fridge as if she was sneaking a midnight snack. This time, the fridge was filled with the best fresh fruit and veggies, more cheeses than she knew existed, and any flavor of drink she could want— definitely not her old fridge, but it would work for what she wanted. She decided to make Rafe a sandwich, knowing he didn't bother coming down for dinner and was undoubtedly hungry even if he didn't say so.

This seemed to be the time she had most enjoyed today, considering the chef went home and the house was quiet. She streets outside were also quieter. She grabbed the plate full of food and walked out towards the living room, stopping to look out the large window. She looked down at the city below her, feeling like she was miles away from the life she once lived down there. She used to be right in the middle of the hustle and bustle, and now she was so far removed she felt sterile. She thought the city was quieter, but really, it was just her own home... her own mind. After all, New York never sleeps...

Jessie pulled herself away from the windows, deciding to take the long, heavy curtains and shut out the city below her, no longer being able to take the fear of missing out. She was not Jessie, she was Mrs. Cameron. And she convinced herself she needed to get used to that. Bringing her husband this sandwich was the first way to do that.

She knocked on the door ever so slightly before hearing a stern "come in". She popped her head through just like before to reveal a once again laser focused man. He looked up still with furrowed brows. Jessie laughed to herself as she realized Rafe couldn't fix his face even if he tried, and now that his daughter was in bed across the hall, he certainly was no longer trying. She was somewhat glad he let his guard down, even if it was to reveal imminent frustration towards her.

"Can I come in?" Jessie asked politely with innocent eyes and a half smile.

"Yeah." Rafe said more as a question than a statement as he sat back in his chair to try and stretch out his back.

"I, uh... I knew you didn't come around for dinner so... I made you a sandwich." Jessi replied as she set the plate down gently, feeling like the clack of the porcelain on the wood would have given Rafe a headache. He looked at the sandwich, it had everything he liked on it. Jessie remembered. It even had strawberries on the side, one of Rafe's favorites, cut in halves like he prefers. Not even a private chef could have made something so perfect.

He swallowed as he contemplated his next words, now looking Jessie in the eyes. However, he couldn't look for long, as even in her timid state she was still so captivating... so intimidating to him. He cowered at her attempt to get closer to him. He knew what this was. She missed him, but she couldn't say it with words. Neither could he. He blinked a few times to regain his thoughts.

"Thanks." He uttered through a crack in his voice, immediately clearing his throat and going back to his papers. Jessie didn't say anything else, she only nodded and walked slowly back towards the door, praying he would say something else. She tried to give him all the time in the world to do so without making it obvious. But of course, Rafe knew his Jessie inside and out, and what she didn't know is that he was watching her every move as she left, drinking in every detail until he felt drunk off of her presence. Her hand touched the doorknob.

"Jessie."

She swung her body quicker than either one of them anticipated with bright eyes and a smile Rafe hadn't seen in a while.

"Yeah?" She asked in anticipation. God, Rafe knew exactly where Charley got her excited eyes from. It killed him that they both hung on to his every word like this. He tried to play it cool as he allowed for a slight pause. He contemplated his words as his lips found his teeth in thought. He began to click the pin again furiously, looking down at the carpet.

"I've got some executives coming in tomorrow night for drinks and to discuss business, I'd like you to be there." Rafe said as more of an emotionless statement. Jessie's posture weakened and she exhaled.

"Okay." She simply said as she walked right back out with a stride that left no time to waste.

As soon as the door closed, Rafe groaned and put his head in his hands in defeat.

"Are you stupid?" He whispered to himself as he hit his head repeatedly with the palm of his hand. He reclined back in his chair as he exhaled deeply and closed his eyes to block out the painful memory of what just happened. All the words he could have said... all the words he wanted to say... and he said that. He shook his head as the words kept replaying over and over. More importantly, his wife's face... her look of rejection played in his mind on loop. He couldn't distract himself no matter how much work was on his desk and no matter how big of a meeting was coming up. Shit, the meeting. Rafe widened his eyes as he looked frantically at his watch. He only had a few minutes. He quickly put all the papers in their respective folders and tried to file them away in his desk. In his haste to look for his laptop charger, he opened his center desk drawer, where he found more than what he bargained for. Amidst the imported cigars and the felt pins, he found the bag of cocaine he slipped in the desk earlier that day. He hasn't touched it all day, yet suddenly he felt like he needed a hit to get him through this meeting, especially after he just embarrassed himself in front of his estranged wife. Unlike all the times before, it didn't take much convincing for Rafe to form a neat line right on the cherry oak and snort it in seconds. He had to have some relief from the war going on in his mind. As expected, he immediately began to feel better, now feeling as if he was awake and alert and ready for his coveted meeting.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 67

"Charley, I'm leaving!" Jessie called out as she adjusted her leather jacket while walking out of her and Rafe's shared room. The thud of her converse could be heard padding against the hard wood as she made her way to the Fourier. As she heard little footsteps she began to put on her knitted hat, scarf, and gloves. She bent down to meet the toddler dancing towards her, with Rafe following closely behind still in nothing but his sweatpants. Jessie knew he wasn't going to get any work done today, but that wasn't for her to worry about.

"Mommy, where you goiiiiing?" Charley asked innocently as she reached in for a hug.

"I'm going shopping!" Jessie said, not a lie, but she couldn't tell her the whole truth for obvious reasons.

"So just me and daddy?" Charley asked, this time with a beaming excitement as she looked up at her father and clapped her hands together.

"That's right, sweetheart. Just you and daddy." Rafe reiterated as he leaned down to get on the same level as his girls. Charley screeched in excitement and the two couldn't help but laugh at her. The mom and daughter exchanged hugs and kisses... Jessie and Rafe opted out.

"You have your card? The one I gave you last week?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, the driver should be out front when you get down there."

"Driver? I don't need a driver."

"Come on, don't be stupid." Rafe said nonchalantly as he shook his head. "Who else is gonna carry all the bags?"

"I... wasn't planning on getting enough stuff to where I would need help... Charley doesn't need that much... she's three."

The two of them both look at each other with looks that showed they were clearly not on the same page.

"What, we're not allowed to spoil her?" Rafe asked in an accusatory tone.

"She doesn't need to be spoiled. She's been perfectly fine with everything that she's gotten over the years, and she has had just enough stuff to play with." Jessie became defensive, thinking suddenly that maybe she didn't provide enough of the years of christmases for her daughter. But then again, she was doing her best, and the thought only made her angrier that Rafe didn't seem to understand that.

Rafe didn't feel like arguing. Instead he just pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head while looking at the floor with a hand on his hip.

"Ya know what? Fine. Just... take the car, okay? It's icy out there."

Jessie simply nodded her head, a little taken aback that Rafe showed some form of concern.

"I also need to buy for the Pogues too... since they're coming in... or have you already forgotten about that?"

"No." Rafe sassed with narrowed eyes and a mocking tone. "I did not forget thank you..." Rafe now looked out the window and then back at Jessie, making sure to look her up and down with judgement. "Did you forget that we have guests coming over tonight?"

Jessie cocked her head in reciprocated judgement.

"We don't have guests coming over... you have guests coming over. And no I didn't forget."

"Well they're our guests because I need you here, before dinner that way you have time to change."

Jessie looked down at her dark jeans and signature leather jacket.

"Why do I have to change?"

Rafe just laughed and played with his tongue in his cheek while looking out the window once more.

"Jessie, come on..." He said, expecting her question to be a joke. Once he realized the look on her face showed genuine confusion he decided to expound further. "These people are top executives of the company... they'll be dressed... nicer."

"Ok... and what does that have to do with me?"

Rafe just sighed and went back to pinching the bridge of his nose. Jessie implored him to go on as she brought her head forward a little bit and looked with sharper eyes.

"Jessie... it's about appearances. You're my wife and-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, noise noise, appearances, bullshit, what's new." Jessie sassed with a scoff as she layered more clothes on to keep her warm from the elements, now feeling like she could dismiss this conversation knowing it wasn't going anywhere. She clearly wasn't going to get her way.

"Look, just be back before dinner."

"Fine."

The silence was loud between them, as neither one of them had the strength for a loving goodbye. They both just looked at each other, Rafe now having his hands on his bare hips as he looked at his wife with pursed lips and wide eyes.

"Bye?" Rafe finally spoke up as he threw his hands in the air, not really understanding what Jessie was waiting for. She rolled her eyes and walked out of the door.

It took Jessie a moment but she finally found her elevator and used it accordingly, she still hated it just as much as yesterday.

She stepped outside of the building to be met with frigid temperatures and Tony of course coming to her beck and call.

"Good morning, Mrs. Cameron!" Tony interjected from across the steps as he hurried to extend his glove clad hand. Jessie noticed the redness in his cheeks, clearly he was cold.

"Good morning, Tony. Just call me Jessie." She replied as she took the sweet man's hand down the carpeted steps. She took it not out of need, but out of kindness... and obligation.

"Oh, best not to be doin that miss... Mr. Cameron has a protocol." Tony responded shyly. Jessie gave him a knowing look.

"What Mr. Cameron doesn't know won't hurt him, will it, Tony?" Jessie smirked with a mischievous side eye. Tony paused and rubbed his hands together nervously.

"Well I supposed if that's what you prefer... maybe just when Mr. Cameron's not around... for your sake, miss." Tony replied hesitantly yet still with a charm to him.

"I insist." Jessie said through a bright smile, to which Tony tipped his hat to her as he helped her into her black SUV.

"Where to, miss?" The driver, looking around the age of a retiree, asked.

"Umm... to Manhattan mall, please."

- - -

Jessie had been shopping for hours on end, of course taking a break for some lunch. She had managed not to call or text Rafe all day... and he had managed to do the same. She had hoped he would at least update her with a picture of their daughter or at least a quick text of what she was up to, but she didn't dare text first.

As Jessie made her way back out into the night air, she took notice of the beautiful Christmas lights lighting up the otherwise dark city. She knew it got darker much quicker this time of year, but she wondered what time it was.

Shit.

Jessie looked at her phone to see it was a little past seven, which meant a little over two hours since she should have been home and changed and ready to entertain. She quickly walked back to the chauffeur with her bags in hand, careful not to slip on the slick sidewalk.

"Mr. M! I need to go home right away!" Jessie demanded as she buckled her seat belt.

"Of course miss! But, I must tell you... Friday night in New York... especially before Christmas... always means traffic."

Shit. Jessie knew he was right. In her years of living here she never had to worry about such a thing, given that she always rode around on her motorcycle.

Motorcycle. That's just it! Jessie had an aha moment as she quickly pulled out her phone to call Mama.

"Hello?"

"Mama! It's Jessie! I really need a favor!"

- - -

"Thank you so much for the ride, mama. Rafe's already gonna kill me for being late for his meeting, I didn't need to add anymore time." Jessie said frantically as she hopped off the bike and gave the helmet back. She brushed herself off  and was about to turn around to go up the grand staircase before she heard mama speak up.

"Well that man can wait, babe. You've got your own schedule too, ya know? Where'd all those presents even go after I picked you up anyways?"

"Oh, Mr. M is gonna drop them off later, once he beats the traffic."

"Mr. M?" Mama said slowly conveying a tone of judgement.

"Mavis. I'm supposed to call everyone..." Jessie didn't want to finish that sentence, as she knew it would become even harder to explain in what little time she had to mama as to why she was under such strict guidelines. She could already tell mama was worried. "Well, it doesn't matter. He likes to be called Mr. M. Now, look I really appreciate the ride and I'd love to stay and chat but I really have to go." Jessie said as she gave mama a quick kiss on the cheek and a soft hug. With a smile, she quickly walked up the steps.

"Jessie." Mama called back, to which the young girl jolted her head back. "If you need us, we'll come running."

Jessie gave a half smile and a genuine nod of appreciation as she made her way up the steps with quickness.

Mama just watched, seeing the tension clear behind Jessie's eyes and movements and suddenly wondering why she was so adamant about being on time...

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 68

Jessie whizzed up to the top floor, uttering things under her breath about wishing that stupid elevator was faster.

As Jessie strutted down the hallways she attempted to compose herself with some slow breaths. Feeling put together enough, she opened the door slowly so as to not disturb the party that was going on in the living room. Despite her best efforts, the door opening did not go unnoticed, and suddenly she was met with the eyes of many men all different ages staring at her. Unlike Rafe, their stares were not ones of contempt, but one of curiosity and even joy.

"There you are, sweetheart!" Rafe exclaimed as he got up from the couch with a glass of whiskey and Coke in his hand. His words were disguised as ones of excitement, although Jessie knew better. He was anything but joyful behind his facade.

"Hi..." Jessie replied as sweetly as possible through a sheepish grin as she was met by the door by her husband who confidently strode over to her in khakis and a button down shirt. The smile on his face was haunting, as she could tell it was clearly fake.

"I was beginning to worry!" Rafe commented as he brought his wife's face up to his with a subtle pull of her jaw with one hand. His touch should have felt soft... maybe even sensual... but it felt stern as he pulled her in for a kiss. She reciprocated, although Rafe could feel the hesitance... no... the fear... on her lips. Their first kiss in days and it should have been filled with love... instead they had to fight the butterflies in their stomach and play the game. Rafe disconnected and looked her in her eyes with a jarring sense of control. "Go get changed." He said simply, barely loud enough for anyone to hear. To the other men it sounded like concern, to her it sounded like a command.

Rafe watched as Jessie rushed over to their room, making sure to give a polite subtle wave to the men on the couch that watched her leave. Rafe could see the dark looks in their eyes that they couldn't hide. He suddenly got possessive over the wife he was locked in a war with.

"Manhattan Mayhem huh?" One of the older gentlemen asked as he sipped on his brandy. He had modest gray facial hair and was dawning a white button up and jeans.

"Yeah, she uh... she's..."

"Part of a gang?" The man finished the obvious sentence for him with a laugh. "I could tell."

"She's not... involved with them anymore so..." Rafe tried to play it cool as he waved off any worries they could have and leaned back against the couch. To convey comfort, he then crossed his leg one over the other and took another sip of his mixed drink.

"Well, that's not necessarily a bad thing son... we might could use some hard asses in a job like ours." Another man spoke up jokingly. This man looked slightly younger than the previous, more clean cut in a suit jacket and jeans. Rafe just decided to take their laughs in stride and hoped that they would forget about the fact that his wife was a rather prestigious gang member. Although he did notice that the third man, the one closest to his and Jessie's age, was quiet about the fact.

Rafe heard the click of their door to reveal his wife in a red silk slip dress that he laid out especially for her. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't indulging himself by wanting her to wear that particular outfit, as it left little to his imagination... and to the others unfortunately. He didn't consider that. However, he was still grateful that she read his message he had left on the bed regarding the outfit. He felt he was owed this considering how much hell she was putting him through the past few days. If she wanted him to forget about his anger... this sure was a great way to do it.

Jessie sauntered over to the couch, every click of her heels an agonizing cry for Rafe as he had to contain himself for at least a few more hours.

"Gentlemen..." Rafe sighed as he stood up and meet Jessie half way and take her hand. She was cold. He brought her over to the couch. "You've heard me talk about my wife. This is Jessie. Jessie, this is Luca, Simon, and Fowler."

The men stood up promptly, fixing their shirts and coats and clearing their throats. Each extended their hands ceremoniously to shake hers. It seemed that with each handshake she could feel the grip Rafe had on her back getting tighter and closer to her butt. For the first time her smile was actually genuine as she knew that the attention from the men was getting to him. She intended to use that to her advantage. She could see the men picking her apart with their eyes, and she knew Rafe could too. The thought didn't intimidate her... it electrified her. As she sat down she only had one thing on her mind.

"Where's Charley?"

Rafe looked over at his wife, clearly having to remain focused as he completely forgot his child wasn't in the room.

"Oh, the nanny put her to bed early."

"The nanny?"

"Yeah. The nanny." Rafe reiterated, now with stern eyes begging... no... demanding that his wife not start an argument over the help she claimed to not need. The nanny he wouldn't have needed three hours ago if she had shown up on time. Well played, Rafe. Jessie simply nodded her head as she fixed the slit of her dress which she suddenly felt was running too far up her leg.

To cut the very visible tension, Luca, the oldest gentleman, decided to speak up.

"So, Jessie!" He exclaimed surprisingly very kindly. "As the top shareholders in Cameron enterprises, we were just discussing how wonderful it would be if we threw a party for all our investors and employees alike! All who could come!"

"Like a family holiday party." Simon, the second oldest man chimed in. Before Jessie could object she found a glass of red wine in her hand that Rafe had poured for her. Ever since a few nights ago when Rafe and Jessie had reached their boiling point she hadn't touched drugs or alcohol, and wasn't planning on starting now. She simply took the glass and held it in her hand as she looked at the men across from her. After all, she hated red wine and Rafe knew it. Yet another dig at his wife as he insisted that she fall in line with even the simplest of formalities.

"We think it'd be a good way to ease the mind of our investors given that the company just went under so many... major changes recently." Rafe explained as he closed the bottle and set it on the silver dish in front of him.

"Well... I uh..." Jessie began, still fiddling with the hem of the silk unsure of what to say. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea." She silently cursed herself for not having it together. She was always good at this sort of thing, but something about knowing her daughter was put to bed by a complete stranger, and one that Jessie had no say in choosing, really messed with her head. However, Jessie remembered she was also currently messing with Rafe's head just by her appearance alone, and that gave her a newfound confidence to take the conversation in stride. With that, she picked her head up just a little more, arched her back and stopped playing with her dress as she looked dead into the icy blue eyes of her husband to her left.

"How about a New Years Eve party?" Jessie inquired. "We could make it a family affair! It'd be a great way to mix business with pleasure." She smirked, now looking at the men across the coffee table.

"Well, ya know... I don't think it's the best idea to bring family into this, I mean-" Rafe was cut off.

"Well of course it is!" The oldest man interjected. "It gives the shareholders an opportunity to see the more vulnerable side of the business!"

"I don't particularly like the idea of shareholders seeing us as vulnerable, Luca." Rafe insisted as he poured himself another drink, clearly feeling like he needed one. The stress on his face was eminent.

"Well, maybe vulnerable is not the right word..." Jessie came to the man's defense. She scooted a little close to her husband and laid a delicate but intentional hand on his thigh, albeit a little higher up than Rafe would have liked considering the crowd. He paused and looked down at her ring clad hand and then back up at her. "Maybe just... more... human."

The word seemed to fall over the rest of the crowd perfectly, however, to Rafe, it was nothing more than a dig at his recent robotic behavior. He looked over at his wife with eyes that showed he wasn't in the mood to be trifled with, but Jessie stared back at him with the same look. Here they were, both trapped in their dance for control once again.

"And who would be the family that you invite, Mrs. Cameron?" The younger, red bearded gentlemen, Fowler, finally spoke up as he brought his glass to his lips with wide, numb eyes. Jessie picked up on his body language, and could tell that for some reason his question was pointed.

"Well I'd probably invite some family from around here, like Mama and Tom." Jessie said that last part more towards Rafe.

"No no no, absolutely not, we can't-" Rafe was once again cut off, this time by the man not much older than him, who had now shifted his position to lean in.

"And who is this... mama and Tom?" He asked with knitted brows and hands folded together on his knees. However, it was almost as if he already knew the answer.

"Oh, Maci and Tom are their real names. They were like parents to me when I moved here." Jessie kept it simple, she was used to not giving the full story on her family in New York. After all, now would not be the time to casually mention that she was the nonbiological daughter of the cofounders of one of the deadliest gangs in Manhattan.

"Maci and Tom huh? How did you meet them?" Fowler asked with feigned interest. Jessie cocked her head, now letting her smile slip into a solid line. Fowler must have picked up on her confusion because he went on to explain himself. "Could it have been through that gang you're apart of?"

"Ohhh..." Jessie smirked and nodded her head with a slight laugh. "So you saw the jacket."

"We all saw the jacket." The young man bantered. "Tell me, Mrs. Cameron? How does such a... fine... young lady like yourself get caught up in such a... nasty childish habit of gang violence?"

"I suppose the same way you get caught up in being congratulated on being a master of the universe, Mr. Fowler." Jessie said in a seductively hushed tone.

Rafe choked on his drink. The rest of the men laughed lowly at the embarrassment the young man had to have been feeling. Still, Jessie's glare remained hard and focused on the red head in front of her, patiently waiting for his response.

"It's Mr. Hartman."

"Oh I'm sure it is." Jessie snapped right back, dripping with sarcasm. "Are you insinuating that you don't appreciate the art of gang leadership, Fowler? Because you should know, there is nothing more impressive in your prestigious realm of whims and words than having an entire city bow at your feet just at the mention of your affiliation."

Rafe wanted to butt in, but he couldn't. One of the reasons is because the words were stuck in his throat from intimidation, another was because he missed watching Jessie work. God, she was perfect for a role like this, she just didn't realize it. The way she word vomited so eloquently and always seamlessly intimidated anyone she needed to... it was tailor made.

"I don't think mercilessly killing innocent human beings for crossing over your imaginary territory is an art, Mrs. Cameron."

Jessie turned her lips into a maniacal smile, now being able to put the puzzle pieces together. The men, including Rafe, picked up on her haunting shift.

"We don't kill innocent people, Fowler. We kill offenders. Offenders that had their fair share of warnings and knew just who they were dealing with. I'm sure being in this business you understand that sometimes your hand is forced to... eliminate... the competition." She whispered, by now having all the men in the room eat out of her hand looking for her next words.

"Well yes of course, Mrs. Cameron but... we always have a good reason, and are typically not near as trigger happy."

"Well, congratulations, I suppose... you have a much higher tolerance for bullshit than I do."

A silence fell among the party, although Lucas gave a look that clearly said oh shit as the words flew. It was almost comical. Rafe's eyes were wide as he couldn't figure out what to do.

"Speaking of bullshit, I think I'll dismiss myself. I don't prefer sitting at the same table as an enemy." Jessie explained surprisingly lighthearted as she popped up and smoothed out her dress. "Gentlemen, I do apologize for skipping out early, but I have most enjoyed my time with you this evening. I hope to see you all at the New Years Eve party." Jessie said calmly as she exchanged hugs and cordial kisses with each man, finally walking over to Rafe and putting her hands on his shoulders behind the couch. She leaned down as she felt his back tense up. She couldn't see the front of his face but she knew his lips were pulled tight and his eyes open wide. She could see him white knuckling his glass. "I'll be waiting." Jessie whispered just loud enough in Rafe's ear for him to hear. He tried his best to not let the shiver running down his spine show. He also tried very hard not to let something else show...

It wasn't less than an hour later before Jessie could hear the party die down as the men exchanged goodbyes and left. She laid on the bed reading a magazine still in her perfect little silk dress minus the uncomfortable shoes. She heard the heavy footsteps from her husband as he marched his way to the door and opened it harshly. As she suspected, there he stood in the doorway fuming.

"What the hell was that?" He asked, now closing the door and walking towards the bed to take his shoes off.

"That was the brother of the man I killed for my initiation." Jessie fired back, ready to spew that information for over an hour now. Rafe just looked confused.

"I-I thought your initiation was just that stupid tattoo..."

"Rafe..." Jessie laughed now throwing the magazine across the bed and sitting up. "You really think that was my initiation into the most respected gang in the state? We got our street cred for a reason."

"You're insane, you know that?" Rafe replied, now with his hands on his hips and pacing back and forth. He secretly loved it, but now was not the time. "And why the hell were you late? And where the hell is all the gifts?"

"I lost track of time shopping, I'm sorry. So to get back here quicker and avoid rush hour I called mama and had her pick me up and take me back. Mr. M will be back tomorrow with the presents."

Rafe stopped his pacing and showed panic.

"You called Maci?! Jessie, what the hell?!"

"What did I do wrong? I was trying not to waste any-"

"You can't call the MM anytime you're in trouble! They're not here to protect you anymore! I am! I wouldn't have been as angry if you had just been late!"

"Now you know that's a lie."

"No, it's not, Jessie! God, don't you get it? You've gotta start putting some distance between yourself and that damn gang! They're not good for our reputation!"

"I don't give a damn about our reputation... and you just don't like that I can still be independent!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rafe scoffed, now just plain annoyed.

"Oh don't act like I don't know exactly what you're doing! You're trying to keep me all primped and proper and not allowing me to lift a finger all so I can be your perfect little wife for your perfect little investors to run your perfect little business. Well I didn't sign up for that, Rafe Cameron!"

"Jessie, you're delusional! Can you not just take the help?!"

"Can you not just accept the fact that I want to find happiness in my own home and doing things my own way?!"

A silence fell between them, both of them looked helplessly at each other.

"God, Rafe! Don't you get it?! This house... it's not mine... it's not ours! The food we eat, the rooms we sleep in, there's no tv in the living room for us to watch our shows, our own daughter can't even eat on the damn couch because she can't spill anything on the exp-"

"I already said we would get a new couch!" Rafe yelled, thankfully they were far far away from their sleeping daughter's room.

"IT'S NOT ABOUT THE DAMN COUCH!" Jessie screamed. She brought her hands to her hair in frustration. Rafe watched as she tried to form more words. He couldn't help but notice she adopted his mannerisms as she paced back and forth.

"I wake up, the house is pristine. I go to the kitchen, there's strangers cooking me food I didn't even want. I go to my closet and find clothes that are worth more than my rent was! I go shopping, I get chauffeured around like I'm some doll! This isn't me, Rafe! And you know it! This isn't home. This is prison. And that's exactly what you wanted." Jessie said through tears as her voice became achingly low. Rafe's face was stolid, only playing with his lips out of anger.

"You're not a pogue anymore, Jessica. You're a kook."

"And since when did you wanna grow up and be a kook, Rafe?"

He knew his wife had a point, he looked down at her red dress clearly to contemplate her words. She stepped closer and looked him in the eyes, hers now filled with anger and confusion. She didn't dare touch him, he felt that if she did she would burn him with her rage or melt him with her love.

"What happened to not turning into our parents?" Jessie whispered. "What happened to all those nights we dreamed about becoming more... becoming better than our parents?"

Rafe stayed silent until he could find the words. What felt like hours was merely seconds as he finally met his wife's eyes.

"Grow up, Jessie. We don't get a choice. We just fooled ourselves into thinking we did."

It was then Jessie realized she had lost Rafe more than she had thought. Without hope there is no promise for the future. Jessie gave Rafe hope all those years ago, but she was also the one to take it away on more than one occasion. Jessie didn't know who Rafe had become, but she knew he wasn't the man she had seen deep down inside. Where was that man? The man who believed Jessie wholeheartedly when she told him that he didn't have to be like his father. The man who gleamed with excitement every time he got to see his Jessie, even if it was to do things his family would never approve of. The man who once begged for a chance to tell his father off when he demanded he never see Jessie again. This was a man who felt trapped, but by what? He now had more freedom than ever.

"Fine... maybe we don't... but it's been weeks and I haven't gotten your undivided attention once!" Jessie pleaded lower than before. She saw something grow dark behind Rafe's eyes, like his anger was now mixed with an uncontrollable lust.

"You couldn't handle my undivided attention right now." He growled. Jessie knew exactly what he meant by that, and suddenly she felt a familiar heat rise on her face and a weakness in her core. Rafe let out a deep chuckle as he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him to kiss her shoulders and neck. She melted immediately. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she couldn't help but give in when Rafe touched her like this, especially considering how touch starved the both of them had been. They ached for each other, this night being too much for them to handle. Jessie moaned as her head became weak. Thankfully, Rafe still remembered her queues, and found his large hand grasping her head to keep her from falling back.

"You missed me." Rafe said, this time no tone of questioning evident in his voice. Jessie was a mess, and she could only moan and clinch her fingers around her husband's shirt for stability. She knew they were both still angry, but they knew all too well that angry sex was one of their favorites, and something she felt was going to become a new normal for them.

"Rafe." Jessie moaned, unsure if she was trying to implore him to stop or keep going.

"Shh" Rafe cooed through sloppy kisses along her jawline. He unzipped the back of her dress painfully slow. "You think you're trapped? Fine... I'm going to love you like a hostage."

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 69

A week had gone by and Jessie and Rafe were still at a stale mate, and just in time for Christmas Eve too. After their one night stand with each other they both found it in their hearts to at least table the argument enough to get through the holidays, and then they would deal with what life would look like afterwards. Surprisingly, the agreement actually satisfied the both of them, and allowed them to put on genuine smiles and laughs as they went about their days and raised their daughter.

Of course, they still had their rifts, the main one for Jessie being that Rafe felt it was necessary for her to distance herself from the Manhattan Mayhem due to keeping up an image she didn't care about. The main rift for Rafe being that she didn't want the life he promised her... the life she was made for because of her upbringing. If he was honest, Ward himself would have wanted Jessie as his wife, considering how poised her words could be and how unashamed she was of conflict. Although she was a little rough around the edges, Rafe just figured she needed more time to get used to the role, so he stayed persistent despite her clear disappointment.

"Charleyyyy..." Jessie woke her daughter up from her sound sleep. "Guess what day it iiiiis." She whispered as she gently shook her daughter awake. She invited Rafe to help her, but he still struggled with waking his little girl from her sleep knowing how grumpy she got. The child groaned and rolled over away from her mother.

"Uncle JJ is coming in today!" Jessie finally spilled with excitement, to which the toddler flipped back over and gasped.

"Uncle JJ?!" She asked as she sat up with wide eyes and an unforgettable grin.

"That's right! Him and aunt Sarah and everyone else are coming in for Christmas!"

"Christmas?!" Charley asked once more. Jessie laughed because her and Rafe had discussed Christmas with her plenty of times this past week, yet she always forgot and was amazed all over again every time the idea was reintroduced. "Yayayayayay!" Charley rang throughout the house as she skipped out of her room and all the way into the kitchen with Jessie following close behind with a smile.

Charley rounded the corner to find her father standing at the kitchen counter.

"Daddyyyy!"

"Good morning, baby." Rafe replied with a smile as he stirred a cup of coffee in his hands. He gave his wife a smile as he walked over to her, handing her the mug and kissing her on the cheek softly. She was surprised at the gesture, but took it as a sign that they were getting better each day, little by little.

"Thank you." She cooed, but their little moment didn't last long as their daughter pulled on her father's sweatpants to get his attention.

"Daddy." She said once more.

"Yes, darling." He responded as he looked down at the toddler.

"I want breakfast."

"Well what do you want?" He asked, even though the both of them already knew the answer. Charley gave Rafe a shy smile and wild eyes. "Let me guess... the same thing you've wanted every morning this week?"

The child nodded her head frantically and began to bounce up and down out of excitement. Rafe laughed and pulled his daughter up to sit on his hip.

"Strawberry toaster strudels it is." Rafe answered his own question as he paraded around the kitchen with the toddler to get the toaster and the pastries out of the freezer. Thankfully, Charley had done her part in making sure her father knew she didn't need any professional chefs. Her palate was not near refined enough to need such fancy meals. Besides, to Charley, nothing could compare to the toaster strudel her father would make her each morning. Knowing the routine, Rafe went ahead and made a whole box for all of them.

"I've got the driver going to the airport today to pick up the Pogues." Rafe said as he stayed focused on the task at hand.

"Alright, sounds good, what time should we be expecting them?"

"How about right now!" Suddenly an unmistakable voice billowed through the kitchen as Jessie jerked her head towards the entryway, sure enough to see a tan, blonde haired, bright eyed boy strutting through with a jacket and bags in hand and the pogues in tow. Jessie gasped and immediately rushed to her brother.

"Oh my gosh, JJ!" Jessie screamed as she embraced the man in a hug that she had longed for more than ever nowadays. JJ picked up on her intensity, and didn't intend on letting go. As much as he was ready to hug his sister, he could tell... she needed to see him much more. He wasn't completely sure why, but he always had his suspicions. He looked over at Rafe with wide eyes that suddenly had some semblance of threat behind them, as if to silently conclude that his brother in law was the reason behind Jessie's unusually tight grip on him. Rafe didn't pick up on the narrowed eye contact, and if he did, he sure didn't let it show.

"I'm not gonna disappear, Jess." JJ joked, taking the opportunity to break the silence, although he also chose those words specifically to remind Jessie that he wasn't going anywhere for the time being. He felt his sister let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in through a slight laugh and finally break loose.

"I know, I just..." Jessie said quietly with tear filled eyes and a smile on her face. She cupped her brother's face, still trying to convince herself that he was real. "I just missed you."

JJ could tell she meant that, but she said it in a different tone than usual. He squinted his eyes to study her words further, but Charley didn't let him study for long as she broke in.

"Uncle JJ!" Charley yelled as she pranced right up to her favorite person. The tall man immediately squatted down and let go of his belongings to welcome the little girl into his arms.

"There's my Char Char!" JJ replied as he scooped the toddler up with a fake groan of agony.

"Oh my goodness, kiddo! You've already grown so much!" JJ poked at Charley with his fingers, to which she retracted into herself. "But you're still just as ticklish as your mommyyyyy." He finished as he began to tickle the girl, sending her into a fit of giggles. As JJ played with his niece, Jessie made a point to immediately hug the rest of her friends, missing them just as much as well. She, of course, gave an extra motherly hug to Wheezie, squeezing her face and giving her a look that silently communicated how proud she was of her.

"Good to see you man, I know my girls missed you." Rafe said with a smile as he patted his brother in law on the back and pulled him in for a quick hug. The blonde let his niece down and reciprocated the gesture.

"How did you guys get here so fast! I thought you weren't supposed to be here until later!" Jessie said, still in disbelief. All the pogues just looked at Rafe, who suddenly felt shy and stuck his hands in his pockets as he looked down at the floor. Jessie picked up on it and scoffed with a smile.

"Did you know about this?" Jessie asked her husband as she walked over to him. He looked up at her with a sheepish smile and a shrug of his shoulders as he took his hands out of his pocket to pull her into his chest.

"Know about it?" Sarah said with a chuckle. "Jessie, he planned it."

Jessie just looked at her husband and shook her head. She noticed his now shit eating grin.

"Do I still got it or what?" Rafe smirked as he looked down at his wife swinging mindlessly in his arms. The banter back and forth was refreshing for the both of them, considering the last week of their life certainly wasn't filled with it.

"Oh, whatever!" Jessie dismissed the comment as she heard the pogues laughing behind her.

"So what're we doing today? I mean, it is Christmas Eve." Wheezie finally spoke up. Jessie and Rafe both noticed that she seemed to have settled into her new role a little better, and she certainly looked much more confident. Luckily, the two parents had managed to successfully discuss exactly how they should celebrate this unusual Christmas. They both knew this would be a much different holiday for all of them. They came up with the perfect balance of old and new traditions.

"Weeeellll..." Jessie sing songed as she wiggled out of Rafe's arms. "Since this is our first Christmas... as a family..." Jessie tried to say those words with more confidence than hesitance as she looked back over at her husband. "Rafe and I were thinking we could all start by doing something fun! Like making gingerbread houses!"

"That's what we used to do back home..." Sarah chimed in, not with sadness, but with a soft smile on her face as she realized the intentionality behind the gesture. She looked at Rafe with soft eyes and he reciprocated, both of them understanding the sentiment.

"Yeah... it is." Rafe whispered, trying to keep it together for the sake of his sisters who were tearing up as well.

"And I also figured we could each open one present tonight, and then the rest in the morning!" Jessie interrupted with joy.

"That's what we used to do, Jess!" John B spoke up with excitement. Much like Sarah, he now understood exactly what Rafe and Jessie were trying to do. And it was working, as the Pogues now felt some sense of normalcy and had something to look forward to after the whirlwind of a year.

"Yeah..." JJ spoke up, now looking at the kitchen counter with evident sadness. "You guys always got Jessie and I more gifts than dad did."

Jessie remembered it well. Every Christmas Eve was spent with the Pogues, typically sitting around the Chat with Big John cooking up whatever he caught. Each kid would draw a name out of a hat and that would be the person they bought for. It wasn't much, but for Jessie and JJ, it was the only gift they got each Christmas, besides the gift they would get for each other regardless of what name they drew.

"Yeah... and I remember one year you were pissed when I drew your name out of the hat and didn't get you a separate gift." Jessie teased looking at her brother. JJ just looked down and laughed, a little embarrassed as he remembered exactly what she was talking about.

"So how about you guys go unpack and when you're done we will have everything ready." Rafe piped up. The Pogues nodded in agreement and were off to their respective rooms.

"Holy shit, Jess! This place is huge!" JJ billowed through the hall as she looked around in amazement at the vaulted ceilings and patterned carpet.

"I didn't even know a hotel could have literal houses within the building." Pope chimed in.

"I didn't either." Jessie jokes back with a laugh as she walked behind everyone.

JJ quickly claimed a room and plopped on the bed, disrupting the pristinely pressed white duvet.

"Don't put those dirty boots on the bed... the cleaning ladies will kill you." Jessie said only half joking as she propped herself up against the door frame work her arms folded.

"The cleaning ladies will kill youuuu!" JJ mocked in a high pitched voice and a scrunch of his face only he could master. His sister just laughed and looked down at the ground. "I always knew you'd make it here one day, sis." JJ replied as he sighed and placed his hands comfortably behind his head to pay down on the pillows and look up at the ceiling. Jessie rolled her eyes.

"No you didn't." She retorted as she squinted her brows.

"Well... that's true... I didn't. I always took you for a shack on the beach kinda girl."

"And that hasn't changed..." Jessie uttered under her breath as she kicked her foot against the doorway, clearly trying to avert her eyes from her brother. Despite the attempt, JJ picked up on her hesitancy. He knew she was off.

"Hey..." He responded as she got up to sit on the side of the bed. "What's up with you? You've got it made, Jessie."

Jessie just stayed silent for a couple seconds as she tried to form her words, she still managed not to make eye contact with her brother as she shrugged and just walked around the guest room.

"Doesn't this all seem just..." Jessie began, but she couldn't find the right word.

"Not you?" JJ completed the sentence for her. "Yeah, without a doubt... but Jess... this is what's best for you... and Charley. You two deserve this."

Jessie still didn't have a response. Despite her brother's words, she didn't want to let him in on how she truly felt about the arrangements. She knew if she did there's no way she'd be staying here... or that JJ would never leave. He wouldn't be able to if he knew how imprisoned she felt in her own home and in her own marriage.

"Jessie." JJ pulled her out of her thoughts, to which she darted her wide eyes over to him, waiting for his next words. "I know you might not wanna hear this... but you're made for this."

"Perfect for what?" Jessie asked with annoyance in her voice as she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, feeling defeated.

"This life! You're the wife of a millionaire whose soul earnings come from underground "sales". You're a gang member, you might as well be in the mafia! You know how to negotiate. You know how to read people better than anyone else in this world. You and Rafe have always been like Bonnie and Clyde. How do you not see this?" JJ asked in disbelief.

"It's not the job that I have a problem with, Jayj." Jessie whispered as she finally unfolded her arms and walked over to her brother to sit beside him. "It's the fact that the job comes with appearances and prestige. I'm not some prim and proper, clean cut, lady like, socialite. I'm just Jessie."

"And Rafe fell in love with Jessie..." JJ assured. "And he's not gonna want you be anything else other than that."

Oh how wrong JJ was. Jessie couldn't help but think if only he knew just who Rafe wanted her to be.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 70

Rafe couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation the two siblings were having. What started as genuinely trying to make sure everyone was settled in turned into calculating his breaths and trying not to creek the wood floor to give away his whereabouts.

"And he's not gonna want you be anything else other than that."

The words cut Rafe deep, but what twisted the knife was the fact that Jessie didn't refute it. He only heard an undoubtedly awkward hush come over the two siblings. Without even seeing his wife, he knew exactly what she was doing. She was looking down at the floor with her lips sewn together trying not to say what she really thinks.

Rafe knows what she thinks.

JJ was right, though. Rafe didn't want Jessie to be anything else other than herself... but what he needed her to be... well, that was a different story. The same went for Rafe, what he wanted to be was not the same as what he needed to be. Rafe wanted to be the present father that wasn't so damn wrapped up in work all the time. But he needed to be the business man his father created him to be. He needed to be the breadwinner for the family. He needed to give his girls the best life had to offer, as he felt like anything less was a disservice to them. Not to mention, anything less is something he didn't grow up to be proud of. The Cameron's were always the best in their class, no matter what that looked like. If he was going to carry out the life he was destined for, he was gonna do it right.

Rafe didn't want to be addicted to cocaine, yet he needed a hit now more than ever due to the sudden feeling of inadequacy he felt once again. It was a feeling that was becoming familiar to Rafe all over again. He'd like to think that the past week of a stalemate between him and his brooding wife would have helped him kick the habit, but it only sucked him in more, soon enough he found himself using the same amount as he did before Jessie left. The memory scared him more than he could explain... yet he couldn't stop. Rafe felt worse about the using this time around. This time around it felt like he was cheating on Jessie, as she still had no clue he had fallen into bad habits. Yet the cocaine suddenly became more tantalizing, more seductive. The drug now was doing better at making him happy than Jessie was. The thought killed him, but ironically, the only thing that could convince Rafe to stop thinking about the disappointment would be to hit a line. So that's exactly what he did. Christmas wasn't supposed to be like this... his life wasn't supposed to be like this. But suddenly he couldn't see any other way he could smile for the pictures and get through this day knowing what his wife thought of him behind closed doors.

Rafe creeped over into his office just a few doors down and managed to form a neat white line. The same white line managed to block out Jessie's long hair, perfect lips, and curves every time. Once he recovered from the high, he decided to sneak back out as if nothing had happened, even though he would feel the effects of his rendezvous for hours.

"What're we doing?" Rafe asked as he walked back into the kitchen. Of course, the question was rhetorical, as he could clearly see what was going on.

"Making gingerbread houses." Jessie replied as she set the icing down and looked over at her husband.

"Daddyyyy" Charley squealed.

"Yes, darling?"

"Mommy and me and you have to make one togetherrrrr."

Why the toddler insisted on all three of them making a gingerbread house together? Nobody really knew, but Rafe didn't dare deny his child's wishes.

"Alright, sweetheart. What can I do to help?"

"Well you can help me hold the house in place while I glue it together." Jessie stated, to which Rafe obliged. He took notice of how everyone had paired off... he raised his eyebrows at the flirting coming from JJ and Kiara... that was a new development. Or maybe it wasn't, and he just hadn't looked up long enough to notice. He also noticed that Sarah and John B had their own gingerbread house to make... leaving Pope all alone.

"Hey Charley." Rafe spoke up, to which his daughter turned her attention up to him.

"Uncle Pope is all alone, why don't you go help him make his house, yeah?"

Charley looked in between her father and Pope, who was now smiling from ear to ear at the thought of not being the seventh wheel.

"I could really use your help, Charley!" He exclaimed. Everyone could tell the toddler was seriously considering the offer. She looked back up at her father with determination behind her eyes and a point of her finger.

"Okay... but you have to help mommy!" Charley demanded as she pointed at her father with narrowed eyes. The threat somehow worked, and yet Rafe couldn't help but giggle. She was just like her mother. Everyone else snickered at the very same realization. Rafe simply held his hand to his chest and the other in the air, taking the threat rather seriously.

"I promise." He replied. Charley folded her arms and nodded her head and marched over to her uncle Pope. The two extra wheels ended up winning the contest for best gingerbread house...

- - -

"Alright, everyone! Gather around! We're all gonna open one gift!" Jessie yelled throughout the house as everyone made their way in the living room, getting comfortable on the couches and some sitting on the floor closer to the tree. Of course, the ones sitting closer to the tree were Charley and JJ, both for the same reason... pure excitement.

"Alright, Char Char..." JJ rubbed his hands together in angst as he leaned down to his niece. "So the way this works is we all get one present tonight, and then we'll open the rest in the morning. Got it?"

"Got it!" The toddler exclaimed, who was now bouncing up and down, clearly unable to contain her joy.

Rafe sauntered into the living room with a bottle of champagne and glasses, setting them down carefully and walking over to his wife with a smile. He wrapped an arm around her and she did the same. Show time.

"Alright, so I know you guys all came here with your gifts for each other... but Jessie and I wanted to do something a little different this year."

The pogues looked up intently waiting for his next words.

"Since this is our first Christmas together as a family... and Jessie and I's first Christmas... ever... we wanted to just give each of you guys a present from us for tonight."

"So each of you have a present underneath the tree, so go find it!" Jessie exclaimed. The couple watched as their friends dug through the presents, looking for the one that belonged to them, and ripping them open with fury. Despite this being Jessie and Rafe's first Christmas together... they could both agree on one thing: a free for all was necessary when it came to gift opening. They both hated the idea of everyone opening their gifts one at a time. Nobody in that room had the patience for that. Especially not their three year old.

A slough of oohs and ahs filled the room as everyone gawked at their presents, JJ got a new hat and a pack of beer, John B got a hat rack (since his hats were always thrown everywhere), Kie got a turtle themed skateboard, Sarah got some new sneakers she had been wanting, Pope got a new book he has also been eyeing, and Charley got a new treasure chest for her toys, one that was much more colorful than the one she had in her room currently.

"Mommy, look!" The toddler screamed as she pointed to her new toy and peddled her feet up and down. Her parents both smiled as her father went to go open the champagne.

"I see it, baby! How cool!" Jessie replied as if she hadn't seen it already.

"And guess what Charley?" Sarah spoke up as she crawled over to her niece with a mischievous smile. "Santa's gonna bring you more tomorrow morning!"

Charley erupted in cheers and applause as she ran around the living room, which caused everyone to laugh.

"I wanna go put toys in it nooooow!" She begged as she ran back over to her treasure chest.

"Well then let's get to it!" John B responded as he jumped up to grab the box. It was too big for one person to carry, but thankfully, JJ understood the assignment and helped him carry it out. Charley stood underneath it, her arms barely tall enough to touch the bottom of it to try and help. The boys let the box down just slightly so Charley could "carry" it as well. The Pogues all followed the little girl to her room to help her redistribute her toys, which would undoubtedly turn into show and tell.

Jessie and Rafe both laughed as they watched the scene unfold, and after everyone finally made their way out of the living room, Jessie turned back around to see Rafe standing there with two glasses of champagne in his hands. He extended one to his wife. Her smile faded just slightly as she remembered her new vow not to drink since that night at her old apartment when everything broke loose. She still didn't want to mess with any gateway drugs, even alcohol. Rafe picked up on the subtle change of demeanor as he watched his wife eye the drink in her hand.

"You don't have to drink it." He said simply. Jessie darted her eyes back up to her husband, feeling like her secret was out. Rafe just chuckled. "I know you haven't been drinking, Jess. Don't think I haven't picked up on it."

A silence feel between them and Jessie let an awkward laugh escape her lips.

"Do... you have something you want to tell me?" Rafe asked softly, trying not to intrude. But he couldn't ignore the fact that his wife had stopped drinking cold turkey. Whether she realized it or not, Rafe knew her inside and out. She looked up at the man in front of her with furrowed brows, now suddenly really confused.

"Like what...?" She trailed off. Rafe just shrugged and looked around the room, unsure of what to say. He stared at Jessie with an inquisition that gave away exactly what he was looking for. Jessie's mouth dropped open and she choked on the words trying to come out of her mouth.

"O-oh... I'm not pregnant." Jessie assured as she exhaled deeply and shook her head frantically. Rafe let go of the breath he was holding in too followed by a slight laugh.

"Well good... I guess." Rafe tried to joke. He would love to have more kids with Jessie, but he knew now sure as hell wasn't the time. Jessie laughed and looked down at the floor awkwardly, playing with the shaggy carpet underneath her bare feet.

"I just... uh... haven't been drinking since..."

"Since the fight..." Rafe finished the sentence for her, now looking at her with kind eyes and a soft smile. "Yeah... I know." He whispered, now taking his free hand and cupping her face. This is the first genuinely gentle touch Jessie had felt since everything happened. For the past week every touch felt motivated out of lust or manipulation. This time, Jessie knew Rafe had his guard down.

"It's just that... drugs and alcohol was kinda what got us in this mess in the first place and... I just don't wanna give me or you anymore chances to mess this up again."

Jessie had her guard down too, and Rafe could tell by her words. He nodded his head and swallowed the lump in his throat. Not being able to look her in the eyes knowing his secret, he let go of her face, his hand suddenly feeling cold and heavy. He looked down at the ground, only being able to look at her red painted toenails. He nodded his head slowly, managing the strength to look back up.

"Yeah... I know." That's all that he could manage to say. He had to divert the conversation. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath as if to internally recollect himself. Jessie could tell he was ready to move on from the potentially deep conversation, and she wasn't surprised. "So I know you've seen that big ass box wrapped behind the tree." Rafe said with a smile and a nod of his head in that direction.

"How could I not? I know I didn't buy whatever that is." Jessie joked right back, getting back into character like nothing happened.

"It's for you." Rafe replied with a chuckle. Jessie just looked at the long, thin box that came up to her waist in confusion. "Go on... open it." Rafe insisted as he stepped aside.

Jessie showed clear hesitation on her face but slowly began walking over to the present, carefully setting down her champagne she still hadn't taken a sip of. She carefully slid the box across rhetorical floor just enough to get it out from behind the massive tree. She looked at Rafe, who silently implored her to go on. She ripped open the beautiful dark green paper and revealed a box with bright colors printed on the front of it. She gasped, and couldn't help but kick her head back in laughter, joy now spread across her face as she looked at her sneaky sneaky husband.

"It's a TV... for the living room... so we can all watch our shows together." Rafe explained softly. What seemed like such an impersonal gift to outsiders was just what Jessie needed to see the human side of Rafe again. She could tell he had put thought into this one. She scoffed and shook her head as she walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You are unbelievable." She stated with a laugh as they swayed back and forth.

"Yeah, well... I figured we could give up the museum look anyways..." He joked back as he leaned down to kiss Jessie passionately. Through laughs, Jessie deepened the kiss, now bringing her hands to his face. Rafe smiled into the kiss as he realized what she was doing. He wrapped his arms tighter around her body, trying not to let her escape as he kissed her harder and began backing her up towards their room.

"I bet Charley's keeping them busy with her toys... we have a while." Rafe whispered in between kisses as he continued to walk his wife back. Despite clearly enjoying it, Jessie shook her head and moved her hands towards Rafe's chest to push him back.

"Uh uh." Jessie replied with a cheeky grin. "Just our luck they'll be out any minute wondering where we are." She said as she pulled away from his tight grip, sending him into a fit of groans. Jessie just giggled and walked back towards the living room, passing it and going towards her daughter's room.

"And fix your pants." Jessie hinted as she pointed down towards her husband's crotch.

"Well if you didn't make us all wear paper thin pajama pants we wouldn't have this problem now would we?"

Jessie just laughed and shook her head as he made her way to Charley's room to see her new set up.

The rest of the night was spent eating homemade cookies and watching Christmas movies. Jessie and Rafe managed to put Charley to bed, albeit it was extra difficult to get her to settle in given that her favorite people were still awake and Santa was coming. Eventually the Pogues turned into their rooms as well, leaving the couple to finally be able to set out the rest of the gifts for everyone. Of course, before they could even get one gift out, Jessie shushed her husband, as she heard the creak of a door and tiny little footsteps coming down the hall. She looked at Rafe with a smirk as she turned around to reveal none other than their daughter. Rafe watched as his wife stuck her hands on her hips with sass and gave his child a knowing look as she cocked her head.

"And what are you doing up, missy?" Jessie asked, already knowing the answer. She began to round the corner of the couch to get closer to her daughter. Charley of course had a shy smile on her face as she rocked back and forth. God, Rafe couldn't take the cuteness. Suddenly he thought maybe one more hour of staying awake with her wouldn't be so bad?

"I don't knoooooow." Charley replied as she retreated her face behind her hands.

"Yeah right," Jessie bantered. "You know you're not supposed to be up!" She said with feigned aggravation as she picked her daughter up and set her on her hip. Charley giggled, knowing her mother was just playing alone, and rested her head comfortably on Jessie's shoulder. Charley looked over at her father with her big doe eyes.

"You know I can't help you out of this one, princess." Rafe answered his daughter's silent plea as he stuck his hands in his pockets and shook his head. Charley looked up at her mother.

"I can't sleeeeeeep... Will you sing to me?"

"Of course I can, baby."

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 71

One thing Rafe never forgot about was Jessie's angelic voice. After all, her singing was what drew him in in the first place... how could he not remember that beautiful voice singing freely at the Island Club that fateful night? Rafe seemed to think his wife didn't sing enough. He always wished she was one of those girls that sang mindlessly throughout the house as she cooked or cleaned or one of those girls that sang ballads in the shower... but she wasn't. Jessie seemed to like to keep that party trick reserved most of the time, Rafe figured mostly due to fear of putting herself out there in that way. As bold as Jessie was, Rafe could never figure out why this was the thing she was hesitant to bring to light. She always seemed to need a good reason to sing, such as having too much alcohol or her sweet toddler asking her to do so. Rafe was grateful his daughter got to hear her mother's voice from time to time. He couldn't get the sweet picture out of his head. He loved how the bond between the two. Although he wanted to give the girls their privacy, he couldn't help but want to hear his wife sing just one more time.

Rafe crept down the hall, waiting mere moments for his wife to get settled into the white rocker in the corner of their daughter's bedroom. He didn't dare peek around the corner for too long, for fear that his wife would see him and suddenly get stage fright. From what he managed to see, it appeared that Jessie was now settled in the rocker with only her side profile visible. He noticed how she had Charley perfectly swaddled in the blanket of her choice, laying comfortably in her lap as she started rocking back and forth.

"You comfortable, baby?" Jessie asked as she finished tucking the blanket underneath the little girl. Charley nodded in silent response as she nuzzled in closer to her mother's side.

"What do you want me to sing this time?"

This time. She had been singing to Charley for god knows how long. The thought made Rafe's heart flutter. He teared up at the idea that Jessie might have sang to his child many a night. God how he wished he could've been there.

"Rainbow!" The toddler exclaimed, to which Jessie chuckled and nodded in understanding.

"When It rains, it pours, but you didn't even notice. It ain't raining anymore, it's hard to breathe when all you know is..."

There's that voice. The voice that Rafe had only heard in his mind for the past four years. The voice he heard in his dreams, and even in his every day interactions. It was impossible for him to get away from some days. She sounded like an angel then, and somehow she only got better over time. Years ago she sang like a free spirited girl, this time... she sang like a mother.

"If you could see what I see, you'd be blinded by the colors, yellow, red, orange, and green, and at least a million others."

Rafe rounded the corner, feeling it was safe to stay and watch for just a moment. He couldn't help himself. He watched as his daughter slowly closed her heavy eyes and fell to sleep. He noticed Jessie rocking back and forth as she simply looked at Charley with kind eyes and stroked her cheek with the back of her hand soothingly.

Jessie loved singing to Charley, but this song always had a special meaning for her and the child. It was the first song Jessie sang to her daughter when it was just the two of them alone in an endless New York hospital. It was the song she always sang when she had had a rough day at work or was a little extra home sick. It was the song she sang to Charley when she was robbed of sleep or hurt in anyway. It always seemed to soothe the both of them, sometimes for totally different reasons.

"Oh tie up the boat, take off your coat, and take a look around... everything is alright now."

Jessie always sang those words more to herself than to her daughter, and the song singlehandedly got her through more hard times than anything else could. In the midst of her fight with Rafe, she couldn't help but feel like this song once again met her where she was at in life like it always had managed to do so perfectly.

Despite being stuck out in the same storm again, Jessie sang this song to her daughter, knowing that a rainbow was always shining over the two of them, and no matter what happened, the two of them would always make it through. She had more strength now then ever to keep going with this new life, knowing that at the end of the day it really would all be alright, no matter what her relationship looked like with Rafe, or what her life looked like as a newfound socialite. Had the sky finally opened for Jessie? She wasn't so sure, but she knew that her and Charley would make it.

Rafe now couldn't help but bring himself into full view by the time the song was over, now planting himself on the doorway with his hands in his pockets and tears in his eyes. He wished he could stay right there forever, watching his girls feel safe enough to tune out the outside world and share such an intentional moment.

Jessie stroked her daughter's cheek, knowing that she was now sound asleep. She looked up and breathed a sigh of relief, also expressing a look that showed she felt that moment was grounding for her as well. She needed to sing that song to herself more than anything. Rafe could see that too. Jessie finally swayed the rocker just enough to face closer to the doorway, where she met Rafe's tearful eyes. She pursed her lips and exhaled, showing sympathy to her husband. Rafe was grateful she wasn't upset.

"I'm sorry for eavesdropping." Rafe choked out with a slight smile. Jessie just laughed slightly and shook her head.

"It's okay."

"You sounded beautiful."

Jessie was never able to take that particular compliment well, and even though Rafe knew his girl inside and out, he had never managed to figure why she was so guarded about her singing. Jessie looked down, clearly trying to collect herself, and looked back up with a half smile.

"Thanks." She simply replied. With that, she slowly arose from the rocker and laid their daughter softly in her new big girl bed, carefully tucking her in. Rafe went over to the corner to turn off the lamp and walked his wife out of the room. Once he had closed the door they both stood in the hallway looking at each other with soft expressions. Both of them were tired, physically and mentally, yet they couldn't deny the need for intimate moments like this. Their eyes gave that away, the both of them looking at each other with a love and desire that still burned so bright. The hope behind their soft smiles couldn't be ignored.

"Let's get these presents under the tree and get to bed." Rafe said sweetly as he took his wife's hand to lead her back to the living room.

- - -

JJ felt a sudden heaviness on his shirtless chest the next morning. In his sleep induced coma he couldn't help but think maybe all that smoking finally caught up to him? Wait, no, that was a child... it was Charley. He opened his eyes just enough to see the toddler sitting comfortably on his chest with her head bent down looking intently for any sign of life.

Once Charley saw her uncle's head move just slightly, she poked his cheek softly.

"Uncle JJ..." the child whispered with a sheepish grin. He opened his eyes a little more.

"What?" He groaned, the facade of the happy go lucky uncle clearly fallen when he was woken up. Charley didn't care.

"Time to wake uuuuup..." she cooed, still gently enough so as not to wake up the sleeping Aunt Kie right beside them. JJ tried not to get upset as he realized his niece was simply excited because it was Christmas. He opted to get up and take his niece out of the room.

"Hey Char Char... I've got an idea..." JJ said with a smirk on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows at the toddler on his hip. She smiled wide waiting for his answer.

"How about you go wake up mommy and daddy and I'll wake up everyone else, yeah? But you gotta promise me you will walk straight past the Christmas tree and go only to mommy and daddy's room, okayyyy?"

"Okayyyy..." Charley replied bashfully. JJ wasn't fully convinced the toddler could come through on such a big promise, and the doubt was clear on his face. After all, this was the spawn of Jessie and Rafe... did he really expect her not to get into the presents that would be right in front of her and only her? Yeah, right.

"Iiiiii will just walk you over there." He replied. "Cover your eyes!" He pointed with determination, to which the child obliged.

"I may have to cover my eyes too." JJ said with disgust as he walked closer to his sister's room, not knowing what in the world he would walk into. It wouldn't be the first time he walked into more than he bargained for with those two. Thankfully, Charley still had her eyes closed as well as he opened the door with one eye hesitantly opened. They were sleeping. Thank god. With that, JJ let the little girl down on the ground and silently motioned for her to go in there and do what she does best: disrupt their sleep. He closed the door and went back to do the same to the pogues. Any other day they'd be pissed that they were woken up so early, but the truth is, they all knew they wanted to wake up with Charley to open gifts with her... like a real family.

Charley's footsteps could be heard paddling against the carpet, and pretty soon Rafe felt a slight dip in the bed at his feet as he realized his daughter was trying to get up on the bed. When she realized the bed was too tall for her to get up on by herself, she went to the very end and used the cushioned seat to get a step up. Little did the toddler know her dad had put that there for that very reason. He felt her crawl in between him and Jessie, but she didn't lay down of course. She was too excited. He knew she would be. The next step was no surprise. Even though Rafe had his eyes closed, he knew exactly what his little girl was doing: eyeing him like a hawk, waiting for any sign of stirring, any quickened breath, any twitch of an eyelid, literally anything. She wouldn't find it this time, despite her father being wide awake unbeknownst to her.

The toddler stuck her tongue out and furrowed her brows, clearly thinking about her next move. She slowly leaned into her father, ready with her little finger to poke at his face like she always did. Right as her hand was mere inches from her father's face, she heard a voice that startled her.

"We're gonna have to work on your sneaking around, kid." The low raspy voice of her father finally muttered, now with one eye open and a smirk on his face. Charley jumped at the sudden noise and retreated backwards with her hands to her chest, hoping her father wouldn't have caught on to what she was planning on doing before he so abruptly woke up. She giggled at the man in front of her and buried her head in the crook of his neck looking for a hug. Rafe of course wrapped his arms lazily around his daughter and sat up in the bed with a groan. He set the girl comfortably on his lap.

"Merry Christmas, Charlotte." Rafe whispered with a kind smile and a kiss to her forehead.

"Merry Christmas, daddyyy." Charley replied with a slight lisp. The words were enough to draw Jessie out of her sleep as well, and the father and daughter both darted their eyes over to the woman of the hour stirring awake with an exaggerated stretch. She rolled over to see one of her favorite sights: her daughter fixed safely in her father's strong arms with a smile on both of their faces as they looked at her expectantly.

"Merry Christmas, mama." Rafe whispered to Jessie as he leaned in and locked eyes on her lips. She caught his drift and she cupped his face with a smile. The nickname always made her heart flutter.

"Merry Christmas." She replied softly as she kissed him deeply. By now Charley was up out of her daddy's lap and jumping on the bed.

"It's Christmas, mommy!" She exclaimed as she kept bouncing through excitement. Despite the couple only trying to deepen the kiss, the constant moving of the bed was making it very difficult.

"Mommy!" Charley protested once again, this time much louder and now with a fierceness to her tone. The toddler crawled towards her parents, clearly trying to get their attention. It worked.

"What?" Jessie sighed with a playful smile on her face, showing fake annoyance. At least Charley saw that it was fake. Rafe could tell it wasn't. But he was just as distracted, needing Jessie arguably more than she needed him in that moment, especially considering they never finished what was started last night after their little gift exchange. Rafe continued to pepper soft but intentional kisses along Jessie's jawline and down her neck, knowing that always got her.

"It's time to open presents! Daddy! Get off mommy!" Charley said in her broken English.

"Yeah, daddy..." A different but familiar feminine voice billowed through the door. It was none other than Sarah, with her arms folded, hip cocked, and eyebrow raised. "Get off mommy." She responded playfully. Her brother turned his head, now with actual annoyance written on his face, his hands still managing to find more of his wife's body by the minute. Jessie just snickered at the exchange between the siblings.

"Daddy's about to open his present." Rafe snapped right back at his sister, which earned a disgusted look from Sarah and a swift slap from his wife.

"You're ridiculous!" Jessie laughed as she got out of bed, earning a groan from her husband. She picked up Charley and took her to the living room, but not before stopping at the door with her sister in law.

"We'll be waiting." Sarah said obnoxiously.

"Yeah, well, you're gonna have to give me a minute." Rafe said nonchalantly as he rested his head on the headboard, clearly in no rush to get out from under the covers. Both Jessie and Sarah knew why.

"Oh god." Sarah scoffed as she rolled her eyes and walked the rest of the way out of the room to meet the Pogues by the tree. Jessie once again couldn't help but laugh. Rafe was too easily flustered sometimes.

"Hey Jessie, wait here?" Rafe asked before she could close the door.

"Rafe, I'm not-"

"That's not what I meant... I meant, I have something for you out in the living room but I don't want you to see it without me."

Jessie hesitated, feeling like this might definitely be a trap to get her back in bed, but she could tell he had a new plea on his face, a sincere one. So, she handed the toddler off to Sarah and waited for Rafe.

Once Rafe got out of bed and put his sweatpants on, he took Jessie's hand in his with a smile and led her out to the living room, where all the Pogues awaited. Of course, once again, Charley and JJ were seated perfectly by the tree Indian style waiting patiently. Jessie couldn't hold her focus on them for too long due to the obvious new addition in their living room. 

"Oh my gosh! Rafe!" Jessie gasped as she looked at the new sectional couch that replaced the stupid white cashmere one she hated. This one was much darker, and was a soft material that could withstand the whims of a three year old. Jessie laughed at the thought that her husband had put into the gift. Rafe beamed as he saw how excited she got.

"Why're you freaking out, Jess? It's just a couch?" JJ sassed, clearly not impressed and more so confused. The Pogues didn't want to admit it, but they were confused as well. It was just a couch... right?

Oh how wrong they were, much like the tv, this was another step in the right direction. Another chance for Rafe to prove that he was listening to his wife. Another reason for her to believe that she wasn't just some pawn in this game of business, but his partner in life. Jessie's face showed that gratitude. She shook her head in disbelief with a smile on her face as she pulled Rafe in for a passionate kiss. He accepted it by pulling her in by her waist. JJ couldn't help but let out a clear groan of disapproval.

"Get a room!" John B spoke up, now hopping on the bandwagon with his best friend. The couple laughed and looked at their daughter, who looked like she had ants in her pants. Jessie could tell she simply couldn't wait any longer, and the silence was killing the toddler.

"Go on Charley!" Jessie answered her child's silent plea, which resulted in her of course ripping into everything she saw like a tornado.

Jessie and Rafe took a seat on their brand new comfy couch as they watched their new family open all the gifts they deserved. For once in a long time, the two of them felt like they really were going to be alright. Even the magic of Christmas was able to mask the rift between them, at least for one day.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 72

Rafe looked in the mirror of the master bathroom as he adjusted his black tie against his white collared shirt, making sure it was just as tight and perfectly ironed as his father taught him. The time had finally come for this damn New Year's Eve party that the shareholders— and Jessie— insisted on having. What started out as a small intimate party that would be held in their new upper west side home was now a large event that had to be held in the grand Central Park hall on the first floor of the building. That was mostly thanks to Jessie inviting her overly extended family from the Manhattan Mayhem. That was a whole new argument that carried on the day after Christmas and lasted up until this very moment. Rafe clearly wasn't happy about the arrangement, mainly for fear of mixing too much business with pleasure, but Jessie insisted it would be a good way to mix her world and his.

"Charley!" Rafe heard the thundering voice of his wife through the bedroom as she walked into the bathroom to find her earrings she had left by the sink. There she stood, putting in her gold earrings. She was wearing a white, form fitted, strapless dress with matching silk gloves. Rafe couldn't deny that she looked stunning, but he peeled his eyes away from the girl in the mirror to focus back on himself. Like she had done most of the week, she dismissed him as she fixed her jewelry and put on his favorite perfume. God, she still was playing that game oh so well. She still knew how to break him down. Despite the two still not seeing eye to eye all week, they still didn't need words to say exactly what they were thinking... good or bad.

Suddenly he heard his favorite footsteps running down the hall and into their bedroom, stopping at the bathroom door to look up at her mother, waiting for further instruction.

"Come here, baby, I've gotta fix your hair." Jessie answered as she grabbed the toddler to set her up on the sink, getting the last few curls perfect. In the meantime, Rafe went to go grab his suit jacket, but not before giving a subtle but important reminder to his girls.

"We've gotta be downstairs in five minutes." He simply said as he walked out of the bathroom, not bothering to give his wife more than a glance. He heard Jessie mumble in simple understanding as he walked to his office. Before he could get there he ran smack into a blonde boy who clearly wasn't paying attention as he came out of Charley's room.

"Woah! Dude, sorry." JJ exclaimed with a small chuckle as he bounced off the slightly taller figure, adjusting the cuffs of his white button up and the hem of his black vest. To his behest, he was dressed to the nines as well. All the Pogues were. If they wanted to be apart of a black tie event, they had to be in dress code, and that was nonnegotiable.

"Watch it." Rafe seethed as he shuffled right past his brother in law.

"Easy dude." JJ snapped back, grabbing a firm hold of Rafe's arm to turn him around to face his serious expression. "I was looking for Charley because I heard Jess call for her... do you know where she is?"

"She's in the bathroom with Jessie."

"Ok good..." JJ replied, now having let go of the man in front of him. Rafe took his first trudge forward but was stopped again by the blonde's words. "Rafe... just because Jessie's on edge about this party doesn't mean you have to be. You guys have been walking on eggshells all week... give it up dude..."

Rafe simply rolled his eyes and exhaled, blowing off the suggestion and walking away. But of course, Maybanks always got the last word.

"Rafe..." JJ said once again, causing his brother in law to look back with a locked jaw out of annoyance. "Partying... it's what you and Jess do best..." He finished with a shrug of his shoulders and a sentiment behind his voice that showed he was hoping Rafe would lighten up and let loose. Rafe could tell JJ wanted to see the couple genuinely have fun tonight. But Rafe couldn't help but feel like partying was what him Jessie used to do best. Nowadays, they were anything but carefree. Nowadays there were far more secrets, endless responsibilities... and one special little girl to consider. Still, Rafe blew him off once again and marched to his office.

The wooden door opened with a squeak as he walked in and found his suit jacket lying comfortably on the back of his chair. He quickly put she rest of his ensemble on and reached for his desk drawer. As he opened the drawer he studied the contents of it intentionally... his keys... his wallet... ah, there it was. Rafe reached down to grab the black velvet box that he had stowed away so perfectly until the time was right.

* * *

The truth was, when Rafe had sold Tanneyhill, before he had the house all packed up, he looked through his mother's old stuff once more. He knew exactly where Ward used to keep her belongings. Even though Ward of course loved Rose, he still felt it was only right to hold onto some things that belonged to his first wife. After all, she was the mother of his children. As Rafe rummaged through all of his mom's things he found exactly what he was looking for... her wedding ring. He opened the modest box to find a pristine gold band with a single, perfectly placed, four prong square diamond right in the middle. As he looked at the ring that he hadn't observed in years, he was reminded how much of a simpleton his mom was, much like his wife. Classic, timeless, and of course not a scratch or smudge on the thing.

* * * The day that Jessie walked back into Rafe's life he couldn't get the thought out of his head. Frankly, even before the Bahamas he had always dreamed of one day giving her the ring she deserved. She still had no idea where the first ring came from, but this time he had every intention of telling her from where this one originated. He just knew the timing had to be right... no, it had to be perfect. Despite the disagreements between the two of them, Rafe was confident tonight would be a perfect night for Jessie to receive the gift that he had been so anxious to give her for years. He had high hopes that this would be yet another step in the right direction. He stuck the box securely in his pocket.

As he was about to shut the desk drawer, he couldn't ignore the coke sitting there... calling to him, like it had been for months now. But Rafe was proud of himself, he hadn't used all day. He had hoped to be completely sober minded for the first time in a long time as he looked into Jessie's eyes to give her that ring. He also hoped to be that way considering all the guests he would have to impress. Being strung out, no matter how good he was at hiding, wasn't exactly the ideal state for him to be in at such a high stakes event. He wanted to be alert and ready for whatever was to come, and with known gang members mixing with ruthless business men, who knows what could occur, right?

Still, as the stress of the impending night weighed down on him more with each breath, he couldn't stop staring at the little white bag of cocaine. He narrowed his eyes, pursed his lips, and clinched his fist so tight he could feel his fingernails digging into his palms. He currently had one foot in each camp at the moment, trying to determine if he could make it through this night without at least a little hit.

Rafe grew only more frustrated with himself as he waged the war inside of him. He set his hands on the desk and hung his head and closed his eyes, looking for some relief, but he wouldn't find it considering the tension in his back was impossible to release. He popped up in an instant and smacked himself on the cheek, trying to get himself back in the mental game. He needed to stay focused.

"Come on!" He whispered to only himself as he paced behind his desk. He put his hands on his hips and exhaled as he looked one last time at the coke in front of him. Without one more thought, he snatched the coke in his hand and shoved it straight into the other pocket of his pants and walked out the door. He almost did the motions quick enough to convince himself he never did it at all, but of course, he wasn't that good at fooling himself. He grabbed his keys and his wallet as well, stuffing them into the same pocket.

Rafe slammed the desk drawer shut out of anger and determination, allowing the contents to rattle around aimlessly, still telling himself that he wouldn't use the drugs, but he'd keep them close by just in case. He cleared his throat and wiped his face as he marched out of his office, somehow even more pissed than when he walked in.

He walked down the hallway to see his wife and daughter in beautiful white dresses. He also noticed all the Pogues were dressed handsomely and ready to go. As he laid eyes on them he attempted to calm himself down and keep his composure.

"We ready to go?" Rafe asked as he close his hands together with a half smile. Everyone turned to face him with smiles of their own, each pairing off with one another. Much like during the gingerbread contest, Pope held Charley on his hip and considered her his plus one for the night, seeing as he was the only one without a date. Jessie was secretly hoping to get him a girl tonight.

"Yep!" Jessie replied with enthusiasm. Rafe simply extended his arm, allowing Jessie to wrap hers comfortably through it and walk in step out the front door and down to the grand hall.

- - -

Hours had passed and the party was finally starting to get just a little bit looser, however, not too much, considering this was still very much a game of appearances. Rafe made it very clear this wasn't supposed to turn into the midsummers after party.

However, that didn't stop Sarah Cameron from having a good time.

Jessie walked up to the open bar, where she found the teenager utterly drunk and laying her head down on the high top. She pushed her brows together in concern as she touched her sister in laws back to try and alert her that she was there.

"Sarah? Are you okay?" Jessie asked with concern laced in her voice. Sarah snapped her head up in shock, but quickly head her forehead and tried to regain her focus. Jessie could tell the room was spinning for her. She gripped her shoulders and looked a little closer at her.

"Huh? What, y-yeah, I'm fine." Sarah mumbled as she tried to lay her head back down on the bar in front of her.

"Sarah!" Jessie snapped, just barely over a whisper so as not to alarm anyone. "Where's John B?"

"I think he went to go get me some more wine."

"Sarah..." Jessie said with raised brows with clear worry across her face at how shit faced this girl was. Sarah opened her eyes just a little bit more, waiting for Jessie's next words. "You are at the bar."

Sarah looked around and suddenly was amazed.

"Huh... I guess I am... well then I don't know where John B is." Sarah replied with a slight giggle. But Jessie found the situation anything but funny.

"Sarah! You've gotta sober up! Rafe is going to kill you if you embarrass him or ruin this for anyone!" Jessie demanded, but by the time she finished her sentence Sarah was already out like a light on the table once again. "I'm going to get you some water... don't move." Jessie scoffed, knowing Sarah wouldn't dare to go anywhere. If she did she'd end up on the floor in seconds. She looked frantically around the party, trying to steer clear of her husband and stay on her mission to find some water and maybe even some carbs to get the girl grounded. Unfortunately, she was pulled out of her thoughts by stumbling into a man in front of her.

"Oh!" Jessie cried, trying to stop herself from stumbling back. Luckily, Rafe wrapped his hands around her arms to stop her.

"Woah, there, babe. Watch where you're going." Rafe joked as he held his wife steady with a beaming smile.

"Sorry." She laughed awkwardly. She really wanted to stay on task, but she knew now she couldn't.

"I feel like I haven't seen you all night..." Rafe whispered kindly as he stepped closer to brush some hair out of her face. He brought her chin up for her gaze to meet his. He had a genuine love behind them that she hadn't seen in months. He seemed... more clear headed... than usual. Jessie didn't know what to say, for she was too wrapped up in her husband's beautiful blue eyes. They seemed especially piercing tonight, and this time, not out of an anger or passiveness that was fueled behind them. "Wanna dance?" He asked with a hope in his voice. Jessie hated to cut the moment short, but all she could think about was how Rafe was sure to blow a fuse if he saw his sister splashed out at the bar.

"Uh... w-where's Charley?" Jessie asked, trying to look for any reason to go do something else.

"She's with Pope... remember?" Rafe responded, suddenly with a little confusion as he looked deeper into his wife's eyes.

"Oh, yeah." She replied with a nod of her head and looking down at the floor, feeling like she had been caught. Rafe decided to brush it off.

"So may I have this dance?" Rafe said in a feigned British accent as he cleared his throat and "fixed" his tie. The exaggerated action made Jessie laughed, and she admired the man who now had his hand extended in invitation. She took it with gratitude.

"Of course you may." She replied.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Chapter 73

Rafe led his Jessie out onto the open floor, where people had been mindlessly swaying for hours to light contemporary music. They began to do the same, both gazing into the other's eyes with a warmth they hadn't felt in a while.

"It seems like the MM are doing pretty well here." Rafe spoke up, not letting go of the eye contact.

"I told you they would be just fine." Jessie replied with a soft smile. Rafe laughed and looked down, with a nod of understanding.

"You were right." He stated plainly. A little moment of silence elapsed before Rafe finally mustered up the courage to say what he had been waiting to say for years.

"Jessie..."

His wife waited patiently for his next words, raising her brows and leaning in a little more. He looked down and swallowed the lump in his throat, trying not to show his nerves. He looked back up at Jessie with a newfound seriousness that almost concerned her.

"I have something I want to give you."

Jessie knitted her brows together in clear confusion. The couple still managed to sway back and forth to the piano while Rafe carefully rummaged through his pants pocket. He eventually pulled out the tiny black box and carefully opened it, revealing the gorgeous ring that caught the warm mood lighting perfectly. Jessie's jaw dropped, but she was still confused... she already had a ring?

"This... is my mom's ring..." Rafe trailed off as he looked at his wife with hope behind his eyes. "And I want you to wear it."

"Rafe I can't-"

"She'd want you to, Jess... you're the girl she's always dreamed of for me. And if she were here right now I know she'd do the same."

Jessie choked on her words, suddenly feeling like the room was getting hotter and smaller. She looked around to see the pogues were now all standing comfortably at the bar with smiles on their faces watching the exchange. Oh god. This was not about to be pretty. She took a deep labored breath and looked back up at Rafe. However, her expression was not one of unbelief and gratitude like Rafe expected. Instead, she looked... conflicted... and a little distraught. He was now the one to wear the confusion across his face. Jessie shook her head slowly, trying to choose her next words carefully. Rafe suddenly was overwhelmed with fear of what she was going to say next. He could also feel the room getting tighter and tighter with each passing second. The ringing in his ears was too much to bear, but suddenly Jessie's voice cut right through it.

"Rafe." She spoke up just loud enough for him to hear. Her eyes were now locked on the man in front of her and her jaw was clenched. Shit. She was angry... but why? "I thought you would have come to me by now." She whispered in an eerily calm demeanor as she shook her head in disappointment.

"What do you mean?" Rafe asked, now with his brows furrowed. He was begging for her to elaborate.

"You really think I don't know?" Jessie spat, now playing with a neutral expression on her face. It looked as if she was hiding a smirk.

"Know what?" Rafe asked, clearly playing dumb. He wanted to let go of Jessie and back away slowly for fear of what was to come, yet suddenly he felt her grip tighten, as if to silently say that they were about to have this tough, ugly conversation in front of every one. She laughed as she looked down for a split second.

"About the coke." Jessie finally answered. Rafe still tried to play it off like he was clueless.

"W-what? Jessie? What coke?"

Jessie just laughed and bit her lip.

"Rafe... you really don't think I'm that stupid do you?"

She knew. Rafe realized there was no hiding it anymore. Tears began to fill his eyes and his lip began to quiver. Yet he still danced, for fear of what would happen if he stopped.

"H-how-"

"I've known for a long time now, Rafe." She interrupted. Yet her ability to never lose her cool was always what made Rafe so uneasy.

"B-but why didn't you-"

"I wanted to give you the opportunity to either fix your mistake or come to me about it... and seeing as you've done neither and clearly have no intention of telling me before putting your own mothers ring on my finger... I can't let it slide by anymore. I won't."

Rafe struggled to breathe. All he could utter were two simple words.

"How long?"

Ironically, Jessie's face still showed some sort of odd sympathy, yet Rafe knew it was all an act for the party going on around them. She cupped his face in her hand, which now felt ice cold to him, much like her calculated words.

"I've know the whole time."

Rafe still couldn't catch his breath, now just standing there with his mouth wide open and his eyes searching for any sign of understanding from the woman he loved. He wouldn't find any.

"I knew you were strung out the night we had dinner out on the patio at the Bahamas. I knew you were on coke the night we fought in my old apartment. I knew you were high the night of our little dinner party with the shareholders, and every time in between, Rafe."

Rafe was now shaking at the realization that Jessie was not bluffing. Then again, she never did. He couldn't find many words.

"H-how did you-"

"Rafe..." she interrupted, this time with a smirk that wasn't trying to be hidden. "I know you..." she whispered. God, she was right. Rafe thought how could he be so stupid, thinking Jessie couldn't see right through him this whole time? "I know you better than anyone in this world... I know you better than you know yourself... and that's always been what makes us and what breaks us."

Rafe felt like he was going to puke. Jessie was unpredictable... almost unreadable in the moment. Yet the party continued around them, with nobody having any clue what hell just broke loose between the matriarch and patriarch of this party.

"Rafe..." Jessie went on, toying with a grin. "This whole time you've felt the need to tell me how to play this game. Telling me how I need to act, what I need to say, and how I need to move strategically in order to give our family a shot at a better life ... you still think I'm some hot head who's always going to say what I think and not consider the consequences of my actions..." Jessie paused, licking her lips and allowing Rafe to hang on to her every word. She still swayed to the music in perfect frame. She pushed her eyebrows together as she locked eyes with her husband.

"I know exactly how to play this game. Don't you ever think for one damn second I don't know what it means to hold my tongue for the sake of someone I love." She said, this time her eyes shifted to a darkness he hadn't seen before. It was a rage that she had masked for god knows how long. Jessie had Rafe in the palm of her hand, and he could feel her starting to crush his facade slowly, all while maintaining hers. This. This moment right here, was exactly what her upbringing had prepared her for. Rafe had never seen anyone... not even him... not even his father... with the ability to read people like Jessie did. It was her sixth sense.

The words made Rafe's heart stop. He was convinced it actually would have if he hadn't still been somehow standing up. He felt Jessie finally drop his hand in the middle of the dance floor and walk away. He stood there with his feet planted on the floor as he watched Jessie slide right past the Pogues to get a glass of champagne from the bar like nothing had happened, the gentle sway of her backless dress now emphasized by her loose hips. There she was... still playing the game too damn well. She uttered a few words to her brother and whisked herself away. Rafe just watched as she calmly exited through the grand doors. He had no clue what to do.

The fact that Jessie just waltzed out of the room as if she hadn't just dropped a bomb on his life was the first thing that came to his numb mind. Suddenly, his insecurity turned to downright storm clouds behind his eyes. Although he needed to stay and entertain, he knew he wouldn't be able to, not with the anger that was impossible for him to hide. He seethed at the idea of her sauntering back into their home, feeling accomplished with the way she left him and him having to go on with the night and explain why she wasn't there. Now he was the one who felt like he was a pawn that his wife was clearly in control of. How the tables had turned.

He shouldn't have been as infuriated as he was considering that he had been keeping just as big of a secret— if not bigger— from his wife. Yet he couldn't ignore the burning in his chest and the fire in his brain. He took short breaths and clinched his fists together, trying his damndest not to let anyone there see him sweat. Not the Pogues, not the MM, and certainly not his shareholders. But god, he couldn't just stand there. Before he had the opportunity to be swept away by more mindless chatter from some random, he trudged past the crowd and walked straight out of the room, leaving the party without a host.

Rafe walked through the Fourier and towards his private elevator. He had assumed that Jessie had done the same just minutes before. As he was going up to the top floor he couldn't help but pace in that tiny box. Should he be upset? Should he be grateful? Should he take it out on Jessie? Who exactly was he upset with? He had no answers. Finally, the ding of the elevator rang through and the doors opened. He marched down to the last door and jingled his keys around to unlock it. He cursed Jessie under his breath for being petty enough to lock the door. He swung it wide open to reveal his wife sitting on the couch with a glass of champagne in her hand and her silk dress still on. Despite her looking rather comfortable, Rafe could tell she was anything but. She still had her shoes on, which meant she was prepared to leave at any moment. In fact, he noticed she changed into her dirty white converse. She wasn't just prepared to leave, she was prepared to run... or fight.

Even though the thud of the door swinging against the wall was loud enough to wake the dead, Jessie simply rotated her head achingly slow to see her seething husband at the entrance. His jaw was locked, eyes narrowed, nose flared, and chest bowed. She lived for it.

"What the hell was that out there, huh?" Rafe fumed, now walking in the living room, suddenly feeling like his tie was suffocating him and opting to loosen it.

"It was me confronting you." Jessie replied plainly— almost sarcastically— not daring to drop the eye contact as she took a sip of her champagne. She hated the stuff, but she needed a buzz.

"A-a-and you didn't think to do that shit in private weeks ago? You are unbelievable, Jessie Cameron!"

"How is this my fault?" Jessie sassed right back, now standing up. "You're the one that willingly hid your coke addiction from me for weeks!"

"I was gonna tell you-"

"Bullshit, Rafe!" A pause came over them as Rafe realized he had been called out once more. "The longer you hide it the easier it gets. I knew that! I saw the distance in your eyes weeks ago! I was going to confront you after the holidays but tonight... when you wanted to put that ring on my finger... I couldn't do it. Not when I knew you were lying to me. Your mother deserved better."

"Don't tell me what my mother deserves Jessica!" Rafe was now screaming from the top of his lungs. Jessie knew she made the right choice when she told JJ to keep Charley downstairs no matter what until she texted him. Jessie just paused, looking at the man in front of her with disgust.

"You're a monster." She said with disgust.

"You made the monster... twice."

Jessie sucked in a breath as she realized just what Rafe meant. Now she was the one being confronted with her own part in this disaster. The fact that she had introduced— and reintroduced— her husband to coke was the sin she couldn't forgive herself for even if she tried. And she had tried. She constantly told herself that it wasn't her fault that Rafe took his addiction too far. But she learned that two things can be true at the same time. Rafe hadn't seemed to understand that just yet. The words alone took the fire out of her breath and the fierceness out of her eyes. She now teared up at the scary reality that Rafe actually blamed her for this... and she did too.

"Rafe..." she squeaked out, still trying to hold onto her determination through short breaths. "You didn't deserve what happened to you... but neither did I." Jessie hoped those words were enough for Rafe to find his fault in this as well. Clearly Jessie had. The guilt of it had eaten away at her for years.

Rafe felt he had cast plenty of blame on himself all the way up until this point. Why he couldn't see past his rage? He didn't know.

"I'm having a hard time forgiving you this time..." Jessie said. Rafe laughed and put his hands on his hips as he looked down. He shook his head and clicked his tongue, clearly not believing what he was hearing. He popped his head back up with a fake smile.

"You know what, Jessie? I'm having a hard time forgiving you this time."

Jessie looked down at her husband's shoes and played with the skin on her lips. He noticed her posture deflate at his words. It seemed they were at an impasse. Jessie just looked around for the words.

"Well then I guess... neither one of us know where to go from here." She said as she threw her hands up in defeat. The words cut deep for both of them. A hush fell between them as they both realized what this meant.

"I guess it does." Rafe tried to say nonchalantly with a flustered shrug of his shoulders .

"Rafe..." Jessie continued, this time no longer masking the clear hopelessness in her voice and eyes. He watched her intently. "Were no good for each other. When we're together all we know how to do is be irresponsible. This isn't high school anymore. Besides ... neither one of us had any love to give in the first place... we both knew that."

Yet another reality check that stung a little too much for either of them to handle. Yet Rafe tried to keep his composure. He shrugged and blinked back tears.

"We didn't know how." He replied, with a nod indicating he understood. That was the sad reality neither one of them had voiced until this very moment. The couple once bonded over their warped perception of love... and yet now it was their downfall.

"So there's no fixing this." Jessie stated. "But I mean... we do have a daughter to raise."

Rafe looked beyond his wife to think of a solution. He couldn't find one.

"Jessie, you don't trust me... and I don't trust you. And like you said... all we do is tear each other apart. We know each other too well."

"Yeah... but our daughter trusts us. And I swore the second I found out I was pregnant that she would not be the child of drugged out father and a helpless mother... so until you can get this figured out... I'm taking Charley."

As if the conversation couldn't get any more earth shattering, Rafe realized that he was now losing his daughter too. His eyes grew wide and panic clearly set in.

"Woah woah woah woah... you're not gonna keep my daughter from me."

"Yes I am Rafe..." Jessie implored calmly as she walked over to their bedroom. Rafe followed her. "And it starts tonight... I'm going back to my old apartment." Jessie finished as she began to pack a small backpack.

"Wait wait wait, Jessie." Rafe pleaded now with wide eyes as he realized this conversation took a totally different turn that he wasn't prepared for.

"I didn't think you actually meant leaving me, I mean I though this was just another-"

"What the hell else am I supposed to do, Rafe? It's the only way you seem to get your shit together... but I'm not coming back... we're done."

"Jessie..." Rafe begged with tears in his eyes as he got closer. He knew she didn't throw out ultimatums unless she meant them. She meant it this time. He knew when she was done. He wanted to touch her so bad, at least find some way to bring her back to him, but he knew he couldn't.

"Rafe, you act like taking my child from you is easy! You don't think it's killing me? The thought of having to explain to her why she can't see you every morning? Why her mom and dad aren't sleeping in the same bed or living in the same house? I know the questions are gonna come... and I'm gonna have to answer them... for the rest of her life! This was exactly why I left in the first place! And now I'm forced to do the very thing I was terrified of... sharing our daughter."

"Jessie..." Rafe cried, trying anything to get her to stay and work this out.

"Rafe..." Jessie interrupted, now with just as many tears. "It's over." Her voice cracked.

As much as he didn't want to, Rafe understood. He swallowed the lump in his throat, now looking at Jessie with not a thought behind his eyes except for his own guilt and reconciliation. He choked on his next words, unsure of what to say to get her back.

"Look, Jessie, if it's not you it's not anyone... I tried for years to fill that void and I'm never going to find anyone else..."

Jessie laughed at the very idea. Rafe clearly was frantic and pulling at straws to figure out any other reason to convince her to stay.

"Rafe..." she rolled her eyes with a hopeless smile. "I'm not gonna be with someone else either... To be with anyone else is a crime... and just not fair to whatever pour innocent soul that could be. We're the only ones perfectly wrong for each other." She whispered as she looked dead on at the man she loved most.

The both of them knew that to be true, both equally as damned to ruin the next person if they ever came along. They reserved that right only for each other.

Jessie began to walk towards the front door, bag in hand to go downstairs and pick up Charley, and probably any other pogues that want to go with her. She couldn't bring herself to walk out without first turning around to look at her husband.

"Rafe."

No words were said, yet Jessie could tell he was hanging on every word. He stood just mere feet from her in the doorway with his hands on his hips trying to keep it together.

"I love you. Never forget that."

To hell with keeping it together, at that point all Rafe could do was look away and pinch his features together in an attempt to not let the waterworks fly. His lip quivered. He sniffled and took a deep breath, looking back at his wife.

"I love you too. And don't you forget this, Jessie Cameron..." He replied with a point of his shaky finger through tears. Jessie inclined her ear, imploring him to go on through tears of her own.

"If you ever need me... I'll come running."

It was in that moment, as the two star crossed lovers locked eyes with so much love yet so much hatred that this was the way it had to be, that they realized that maybe the only reason for their romance was for Jessie to make Rafe a little more wild... and for Rafe to make Jessie a little more cautious. If that was the case, they had served their purpose.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Epilogue

Jessie heard the knock of her apartment door, signaling that people were there— right on time. She threw the kitchen towel down that she was using to clean up the mess from the cake her and mama just decorated.

"Want me to get it sweetie?" Tom asked from the couch, not bothering to look up from his sports on the TV.

"That's okay, pops. I got it! Charleyyyy!" Jessie rang up the narrow stairs of her oh so familiar apartment. "You need to get down here, there's some people here to see you!"

Mama smiled as she watched the young woman practically dance over to the door. Jessie knew exactly who was behind that door. She opened it with the biggest smile on her face knowing exactly who she was going to get to see.

"Hellooooo!" JJ beamed. He was accompanied by other greetings and murmurings from the Pogues and Wheezie behind him, all of them had brightly colored presents in their hands as they entered into the apartment with excitement. Jessie couldn't hug her brother fast enough.

"Ugh! JJ! It's been too long!" Jessie exclaimed as she brought her brother in for a warm embrace, doing the same to the others.

"Four months and twelve days... but who's counting right?" JJ replied with a laugh.

"Charley still has no idea we're here right?" Sarah asked. They all were clearly anxious to see the little girl.

"That's right! She knows all her friends are coming for the birthday party... just not you guys. Oh, she's coming!" Jessie said, frantically moving out of the way to reveal the brand new four year old with a birthday crown already on her head and a sash already around her pretty new dress. She looked around the living room in confusion, but the second she laid eyes on the entryway she gasped.

"UNCLE JJAYYYYY!!!" Charley screamed as she ran up to the blonde haired boy. Like so many times before, JJ reached down to scoop up the little girl.

"Ohhhh my gosh Char Char! You've already grown so much since New Years! Gotta stop that now!" JJ insisted as he poked at the little lady in his arms.

"Someone's not a little girl anymore." Sarah said through happy tears as she looked over at her sister in law, embracing her with a hug. Jessie nodded in unfortunate understanding of the same reality.

"I know it." She responded with a tinge of sadness. Time truly was a thief. "And look at you, little lady!" Jessie said, now turning her attention to the teenager in front of her. "You have got stop growing! What's next? A boyfriend?!" Jessie joked as she held Wheezie's face in her hands like only a mother could. She couldn't help but feel like if she blinked her eyes Charley would be that old too. She distracted herself by averting her attention to the Pogues.

"Everyone else should be here shortly." Jessie said.

"Who all's coming?" Kiara asked, knowing exactly what answer her and the rest of the Pogues were looking for. Jessie read between the lines.

"Uh, some friends from school, some of the MM... and Rafe."

The room went quiet. The Pogues looked concerned, but Mama and Tom seemed to show a chip on their shoulder at the very mention of the man's name. The truth is, they had been taking the brunt of Jessie's whims the last four months, trying their best to get her back on her feet after such a messy split. Nothing was official yet, but they could see how tired Jessie was from trying to balance work and strained family dynamics across the board. Trying to help the Pogues in the Bahamas and raise her daughter with an unstable father was more difficult than she originally imagined. Yet she chose to still keep in touch and make things work the best she could. She figured Rafe deserved that. No matter what, he had a daughter that he now knew about and was undoubtedly attached to. The Pogues could see that too, and they had their own worry for the twenty-two year old. Yet, they found themselves more conflicted than Maci and Tom, mostly from the fact that they saw Rafe's side of things too. Regardless, today was not the day to pick a side and wage a war.

"Stop looking like that." Jessie sighed with a plea behind her eyes.

"Like what?" JJ asked stupidly, as if he didn't know exactly the look she was referring to.

"The look of guilt... the worry. I can't take one more look of sympathy." Jessie replied with slight annoyance. The Pogues felt their own sort of guilt from this mess... JJ still couldn't live with the fact that he had called Jessie to come get him out of trouble in the first place... if hadn't have done that... she wouldn't be in this situation. Yet Jessie still made it clear that it wasn't his fault time and time again.

JJ pursed his lips and looked down, trying his hardest to understand where Jessie was coming from. He was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of another knock on the door.

"That should be Sam and Treasure."

"Treasurrrrrre!" Charley squealed as she kicked her feet, begging for her uncle to let her down.

"Thats one of her friends." Jessie explained. "Char char, go ahead and let her in!"

Once her feet hit the ground again she ran to the door, frantically opening it. Jessie figured this was the perfect time to step aside with the Pogues and have a moment.

"Look guys... I know everything is still fresh... but today is Charley's birthday. Today is not a day to pick sides or start anything, alright?"

The Pogues could tell Jessie was serious, she almost came off as threatening. They nodded in understanding.

"I'm serious." Jessie reiterated, still not convinced they understood what this day meant.

Jessie and Rafe, although communication was minimal and strictly for Charley, managed to come to an agreement about days like this. Rafe was allowed to come over, but no conversation outside of what was necessary. It was harsh, but it was crucial to making sure that this day didn't turn into passive aggressive manipulation that both of them were so good at wielding. Jessie didn't even like being in the same room as Rafe right now... as she felt that he could attack her with just his smile and those longing eyes... no words needed. But she decided that for today, he had a right to celebrate his daughter.

Slowly but surely more people started to trickle in, resulting in a house full of friends and family that Jessie loved to mingle with. The sounds of kids running around, all the adults laughing, and music blaring was still not enough to fill the hole Jessie knew was there. It was blatantly obvious in her mind only that Charley's father still wasn't there. She wondered why. He said he was coming.

What Jessie didn't know is that Rafe thought he was coming to, yet he had been a bundle of nerves all day. He got no sleep the night before. He wondered if he was strong enough to celebrate something and someone so special to him with the girl he loved the most and act like she was only the mother of his child. How was he supposed to casually share his daughter when her mother was so incessant on hardly any contact? He played every possible scenario of how this day could go in his head over and over, which caused him to stop right as he touched the exit door of his penthouse, to take another lap around the block of Jessie's apartment building, and for him to stop dead in his tracks with his hand held up almost ready to knock on her door. He stopped every single time, contemplating if he was really ready for this. He had only seen Jessie these last few months in the small time it took to drop Charley off for little visits. Yet even in those short moments, he knew his Jessie inside and out. No amount of time could change that. She was keeping it short and sweet for the same reasons as he was... fear of falling. Still, he shook his head and whispered to himself to get it together, his next move being a swift knock to her front door before he could stop himself with his thoughts once more.

Jessie finally heard the only knock that mattered, knowing it could only be the one person that was left that still hadn't shown up. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard it, and she leaped through the crowd to get the door before anyone else had a chance. She opened the door to reveal none other than Rafe Cameron. She took a deep breath, one that Rafe could see due to her extended rib cage and look of concentration. He pursed his lips but quickly remembered that he needed to smile, so he did.

"Hi." Rafe whispered numbly as he flashed his pearly whites.

"Hi." Jessie exhaled with a fake smile plastered on her face as well.

The two stood there, for as long as their hearts would allow them. Even after months of little to no contact, their eyes still said everything they wouldn't allow themselves to say for the sake of accepting reality and keeping the peace. And as Jessie looked deep into those ocean eyes standing in her doorway, that was all the confirmation she needed to know exactly where to go from here.

I'll Come Running - R.C. - Author's Note

Please don't kill me. Haha!

I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for reading, voting, and especially for commenting. I have loved seeing you guys feel the same rollercoaster of emotion that I have as I wrote this book.

I know the ending is less than ideal, but I am hoping that you see the beauty in it. This is a book where it is not always crystal clear who the villain is. Both Jessie and Rafe have complicated dynamics and backstories that make them who they are and that make the give and take even more conflicting for the reader, which was exactly what I was going for. I know this type of story is not everyone's favorite, but I am never opposed to a story that is deeper than the "fairy tale" ending that we all would like to see. I hope you guys have read this book and have appreciated the ability for the sometimes grey area in the misunderstood, vulnerable characters like Rafe and Jessie. I, for one, am a sucker for the angst. Haha!

That being said, I am so open to continuing this story (and have quite a few ideas already actually) if that is what you guys want to see. Are you guys happy with Jessie and Rafe being done for good? Do you want to see them still try? Do you want to know how they make their new dynamic work? I would love to know!

Again... thank you guys for reading. I needed to write this more than you guys needed to read it, so thanks for being apart of the therapy session.

Depending on the responses, you may or may not be hearing from me in the near future regarding a sequel... love you guys!

JJ with Latina reader

Warnings: This is very short, suggestive content, reader is angry, and author is using google translate despite being Mexican

Tropes: Moodyxhappy, poguexpogue, angryxsunshine, golden retrieverxchihuahua.

Summary: JJ spills readers cup and she snaps.

Bree speaks: Hi! Thank you for reading, just answering some questions before I continue writing. I do take reqs, but I do have a busy life, so please bare with me. I don't know how to make a taglist, so if you do, please tell me omg. Also, my askbox is always open, and i love answering questions, so before you go, ask me something! <3 Thank you, any tips are helpful! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I AM ADDING THIS TO ALL POSTS, AND IF I FORGET IT @brokenwingsgalore WILL PUT IT IN THE COMMENTS. IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, DONT READ IT!!! Thank you again, I love you and make good choices.

(I STILL DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE A BOARDER)

Today was supposed to be relaxing.

JJ had already taken you out to the beach, letting you play with the water and find those seashells you loved.

When you and JJ came back to the chateau, you had decided- no demanded you make some birria tacos for dinner.

You were already on edge from finding out JJ was eating moldy bread. But you didn't let that ruin your day... yet.

So JJ sat on the couch with John B and Pope, ranting to them how you had the most perfect ass.

"Have you seen how round it is?" JJ groans and moans quite loudly. John B, who already had a girlfriend was tuning him out, making JJ sound like a white noise in his ear.

Pope simply walks away now.

JJ stands up and starts to walk to you. You were listening to music, swaying your hips to it as you chopped up some tomato for the salsa.

He snakes his arms around your waist giving you a sloppy kiss on your neck.

When you two first started dating, you would push him off and giggle. But its been a year since you both were in the honeymoon phase.

You sigh and let him pepper kisses on your neck, continuing to cook.

Everything seemed perfectly fine, nobody was yelling, John B was finally being quiet, not yapping about Ward.

Pope was doing something outside, nobody ever knew.

Until, JJ goes to kiss you and spills your birria sauce you spent an hour on onto the floor.

You and him look at each other at the same time. You clutch the kitchen towel that was on your shoulder. Narrowing your eyes at him, you take a deep breath and sigh.

He thinks he's off the hook, grabbing your chin and pecking your lips. You smile and slowly push him him away.

Then that's when everything snaps.

"¿Sabes qué, pequeño niño blanco? Estoy tan deprimido con tu pálido trasero." You yell and throw the towel at him.

"Crees que puedes conseguir cualquier cosa, ¿eh? ¡Pues no puedes! ¡Espero que te mueras por tu estúpido culo de comer pan mohoso! Morirías sin mí Maybank." You poke a finger into his chest and roll your eyes.

JJ currently has his hands up in defense. He has a tiny smirk on his face. And you fight the urge to smack him.

JJ knows you want to use physical force, you can't hide your facial expressions very well. And to him, they were quite cute, even if you wanted to murder him.

"Será mejor que borres esa maldita sonrisa de tu cara. Estamos en la cocina, hay cuchillos y no me quieres cerca de los cuchillos, JJ." You frantically run a hand through your hair. By now, Sarah and Kiara have entered the chateau finding you two like this. John B, Kiara, Pope and Sarah have all gathered around watching you basically ripping him a new asshole.

"Ni siquiera dios puede salvarte de mí. Oren para que después de tanto grito no se queme mi birria. Porque si así fuera, puedes despedirte de mi trasero." You deadpan. You wipe your hands on your jean shorts and smile. You wave at the girls, acting as if nothing had happened.

After a few seconds of silence, JJ speaks up.

"Is it a good time to say that turned me on?" JJ mumbles and grins at how you look at him.

"No." Everybody says in unison.

Rafe with autistic reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, innocent reader

Tropes: kookxpogue, sunshinexgrumpy

Summary: Reader is autistic.

Bree rants: Hi! So, I am only mildly autistic, so if I get any of this wrong I am deeply sorry. ALSO, if you're reading this, please help me work tumblr, I don't know how to make a taglist or boarders. Thank you- Also my askbox is always opened, so ask me random questions, I am always bored. Before I forget, I AM ADDING THIS TO ALL POSTS, AND IF I FORGET IT @brokenwingsgalore WILL PUT IT IN THE COMMENTS. IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, DONT READ IT!!! AND, if you want this to be a full oneshot, please tell me in the comments. I love you and enjoy reading!

(HOW DO I MAKE BOARDERS.)

Rafe! Who found you at his house in his party crying because everything was too loud.

Rafe! Who was about to yell at you but once he looked down, he felt soft and mushy.

Rafe! Who would continue to stare at you while you cry, not knowing what to do.

Rafe! Who finally speaks up and asks you if you need something. You shake your head no and he does not take that lightly. Instead grabbing you some water and sitting beside you.

Rafe! Who eventually finds out its because of how loud everything was and takes you up to his room. Topper whistles thinking Rafes getting lucky. Rafe tells him to shut up and you sit on his bed.

Rafe! Who would calm you down by dimming the lights and covering your ears. He thought this was childish but you seemed to have been calming down.

Rafe! Who would let go of your ears and ask you if you're okay.

Rafe! Who slowly finds out you suffer autism and your friend had brought you here to, "let loose." He would fight the urge to punch whoever that friend was.

Rafe! Who would yell at anybody who even talked near his room so you wouldn't have to panic anymore.

Rafe! Who would spend all night with you, letting you rant about your current hyperfixation just so you didn't have to pay attention to the loud party beneath you two.

Rafe! Who smiles at your little giggles and hand gestures. He hated when people would talk to him, but with you, everything you said sounded so luring. Even though you were talking about sharks.

Rafe! Who would drive you home and get your number.

Rafe! Who becomes obsessed with you after a week of getting to know you. Doing research on autism just so he could help you out like you helped him that night you met, he would've been fucking some girl he didn't like or smoke weed all night. Instead he found you.

Rafe! Who would ask you to be his girlfriend after two weeks.

Rafe! Who buys you anything you hyperfixate on. Legos? He's buying every set and listening you talk about the lego sets. Sharks? He'd buy you a mountain of plushies. Anything your autism liked for a few months or weeks, he would buy.

Rafe! Who never forced you to come to crowded places with. And if you do, he brings noise cancelling headphones or something for you to fidget with.

Rafe! Who practically almost murders anybody who says your too weird or something about your mental health.

Rafe! Who makes sure you eat all your meals, even if its krafts mac and cheese for the 5th time today.

Rafe! Who lets you sleep with him but gets annoyed when you have to put one of your shark plushies between you two. Though he would never tell you he was annoyed.

Rafe! Who ends up telling Barry random facts about the new movie you're obsessed with because that's all you talk about.

Rafe! Who loves you to death despite everything. He loves you and your hyperfixations. (maybe not the shark plushies though)

drew starkey🎀

guys idk what it is, but i watched hell raiser (2022) last night, and OH MY GOODNESS. drew starkey is so fine bro. like i acc wanna marry him

Coconuts

A/n: should I make this a series?

She smelled like coconuts, thanks to her signature shampoo, but that’s not what drew Rafe in..

She was seated at the country club bar, sipping on a pina colada. Rafe sat in the booth a few feet back with topper and kelce. “So you coming tonight Rafe?” Topper asked his friend. “What?” Rafe was clearly distracted, the root of his distraction? Her. He didn’t know her name or who she was, but he wanted too. “The party man, are you coming?” Kelce asked giving topper a look. “Oh yeah, whatever bro” Rafe scoffed.

He never enjoyed the parties, it was always an excuse to escape reality, do drugs, and hook up with random girls. But tonight might be different, she might be there.

“Yo top, whose that chick over there” Rafe nodded his head in her direction. “Oh that’s y/n. She’s fairly new here. Friends with Sarah or something” Rafes heart nearly leaped out of his chest. She knew his sister?

“Is the kook king whipped?” Kelce teased his friend. Rafe gave him a look that quickly shut him up.

“She coming tonight?” Rafe continued his interrogation. “I mean if you really want her there I guess I can ask Sarah to invite her” topper said. “No! That’s okay. I don’t need my bitch ass sister up in my business” Rafe knew that Sarah would not approve of him trying to hook up with one of her friends, she would claim that he would just corrupt her. But would it be a shame if he did? Maybe he didn’t want to just corrupt her, there was something about her. Something Rafe was drawn too.

Time jump to the party

Rafe sat on the couch, another bimbo in his lap. His hand on her waist as the group around him snorted coke, drank their beers and engaged in convo. Through the crowd he spotted her, he almost jumped out of his seat. He couldn’t believe she was actually here. Sure he had some hope she’d show up but it was small. “Guys let’s play a game!” The annoying girl on Rafes lap squeaked out. A small group gathered in the living room and people took seats and to Rafes surprise she was one of those people. She took a seat right across from him. He couldn’t help staring at her, the curves of her body, the soft features on her face, the innocent gleam in her eyes, oh how badly he wanted to strip her of that. Her eyes met his for a second and he quickly looked away, changing his demeanor to seem more relaxed and nonchalant.

“How about never have I ever?” A girl from the crowd suggested. Everybody agreed and the game begun, every so often Rafes eyes falling to her, the tight skirt she wore rising up every time she moved. Just barely exposing her pink panties, god this was painfully hard for him.

“Never have I ever been walked in on during sex”

A few people drank, implying that they have done it. Rafe watched as she took a sip of her drink, his eyebrow shooting up in surprise. She seemed so innocent.

“Never have I ever been arrested”

She took another sip, Rafes eyes still on her..

“Never have I ever been nude in public”

Another sip. Who was this girl? She seemed so innocent and yet this game is opening a new side of her. Maybe she wasn’t as innocent as Rafe had judged her to be.

The game went on for a few more rounds, once it finished she got up and headed to the kitchen to fix herself another drink. Rafe watched her moves intently, deciding that this was his chance. He pushed the girl off his lap and followed in her footsteps.

“Your new here” she jumped a bit at his voice. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya. Just saw you standing here alone. Thought I’d introduce myself, Rafe” he outstretched his hand. She took it happily and smiled up at him. “Y/n” her voice was soft and kind, not like the girls here who were always so high pitched and squeaky, laced with bitchiness. “Pretty name for a pretty girl” he winked as her face flushed red, clearly not used to being complemented. “Thank you” she brought the red solo cup up to her plump rosey lips and took a sip of her drink.

Rafe was so nervous, he normally wasn’t like this when it came to girls, what was she doing to him?

“So..” he clicked his tongue “are you? New here?” He couldn’t think of anything else to say, his mind going blank as her eyes looked into his, turning his brain to mush. “Yeah. I just moved here. Have made like one friend and she invited me out tonight. However, she ditched me as soon as she found her boyfriend” she laughed to herself. “Yeah Sarah can be a slut like that” Rafe rolled his eyes not realizing what he just said.

“Hey howd you know her name?” She gave him a confused look as she waited for a response. “Oh-uh-I- Sarah’s my sister” he babbled. “Hmm, still doesn’t explain how you knew she was my only friend” still giving him a confused look and awaiting a response. “Fine” he sighed “I’ve been asking around about you” he admitted. “Oh really?” She giggled.

What Rafe didn’t know was that she knew exactly who he was. She was warned about him, specifically by Sarah.

The two looked up at each other. A moment of awkward silence shared between them before they both tried speaking up “so-“ “I-“ both of them laughing at the situation.

“What made you ask around about me?” She asked. “You caught my eye” he came in closer, resting his hand on the counter behind her. Trapping her between him. She looked down, smiling. “Hey don’t hide that pretty smile from me, I’ve been wanting to see it up close all night” he lifted her face up by placing a finger under her chin. Her big eyes staring into his. His eyes darted between hers and her lips.

He leaned in, lips centimeters apart, “Rafe! Where did you go?” An annoying voice coming from the living room. Rafe rolled his eyes as the girl who was previously in his lap walked into the kitchen. He turned around to tell her to fuck off, but when he turned back around to continue with his girl she was gone..

tell me lies

WARNINGS: DUB-CON, themes of murder and grief, gaslighting, use of a gun, angst, betrayal, forced relationship, pregnancy, dark!rafe cameron x peterkin!reader

Summary: The murder of your mom leads to the downward spiral of your life. You couldn't have wished for a more supportive boyfriend to help you through it. Retrospectively you should have. l wc: 3.6k

Notes: I've been cravinggg this mf trope, i love when he reeks of desperation, what can i say? also the second section of this is lightly inspired by my sweet @softcoreparadise ifykyk.

18+ ONLY. MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

“Y/n what the- what are you doing?!”

Your heart races beyond compare at the given situation. Not in a million years would you have guessed that you’d be in a predicament like this.

The wet sleeve of your hoodie clings to your arm as your finger trembles over the trigger. Droplets of water trickle down the barrel, reminding you of just how lucky you were to dig it out of the water before he could catch up to you.

The road’s dark, aside from the light shining from his truck. You can feel subtle warmth along your backside, radiating from the engine, while his headlights cast a spotlight on him.

“Are you crazy?” He stares at you wide eyed. “You- you’re serious right now? You’re trusting Pogues over me now? You can’t see that they’re fucking lying to you y/n!? It’s what they do!” 

“Rafe please!”

He steps a foot closer and instinctually you straighten your arms out, tightening your grip on the barrel. You squeeze your eyes shut for a split second yet the warm droplets still manage to fall down your face. 

How could you have known that today would end like this? All because you happened to be picking up food from the wreck at the same time they were there.

You had been sitting at a table, patiently waiting for your order to be called out, when you were ambushed by the five of them. After a few preposterous sentences came from their mouths you were getting up out of your seat, and walking away from them with the purest look of disgust.

You didn’t know why they would go out of their way to say something like that to you. You didn’t have a problem with them. Your boyfriend did, but you had always been cordial to them. The jarring interaction with them had you understanding that they didn't even deserve that. What they said- no accused your boyfriend of was low even for them.

You’re well aware that Rafe isn’t an angel, but alluding to him being involved with your mom’s murder? It was more than foul. It was downright sick.

Later that evening, when you were at Tannyhill, Rafe could tell something was off with you. After enough of his prying you confessed what happened. Initially you didn't want to tell him because it's still a sensitive subject for you. It had only been a couple months and it was still hard to talk about her.

Your lashes batted uncontrollably and you sniffled softly as you told him. When your mouth shut, he entirely flipped out. Not at you of course, but at the fact that they would say some shit like that.

Immediately he grabbed his keys and left the room. You followed him out and tried to stop him from doing something he’d regret, but his mind was already made up. You had no power in stopping him so what did you do?

You hopped into the passenger and pleaded with him.

He wasn’t having any of it though. The streets were a blur as he sped down the road. At some point he had reached over to the glove compartment, in front of you, and pulled out his gun.

You fully anticipated him getting violent but that was a little too far.

He fiddled with what you vaguely remember as the magazine, checking to see if it was loaded. When you expressed your concern he responded to you in a way that let you know he was dead set on hurting someone. 

A big part of your heart appreciated that he was so willing to defend you, but at the same time you didn't want anyone getting seriously hurt. No matter what they said to you.

You had never seen him that upset. You hated that it crossed your mind but he honestly looked as if he were ready to kill each and every one of them.

You didn’t realize you were crying until his hand brushed your thigh.

“Why are you treating me like I’m the bad guy?” He brought his fingers to his chest, frantically looking away from the road at you. “They- they disrespected you. While you’re grieving at that. You think I’m just gonna let that shit slide?”

“Can we please just go back. I don’t want this.” 

He shook his head, “Nah.” 

“Don’t I have a say?! Like you said I’m the one grieving! Shouldn’t it matter what I want!” 

“Listen to me" He squeezed your thigh, "If you let a pogue disrespect you and do fuckin nothing about it, they’ll get real comfortable doing that shit again.”

You frowned at how hellbent he was.

“If they got the balls to say that bullshit to your face, think about who else they're telling this- this story to. What if they tell Shoupe, hmm? You know how that looks for me?”

“Who cares?! You understand that this wouldn’t exactly help your case right?! It’s clearly some sick joke for them to get under your skin. And it’s fucking working.”

“My case? My case?!” He repeated your words back to you, glancing between you and the empty road.

“Yes! Your case!” 

No matter how silly or outlandish. You’re certain that out of respect for your mom Shoupe would investigate every lead he got. Not that he would believe them.

However, it would be an entirely different story if Rafe attacked them tonight. 

Then that’s when it dawned on you. Why did he even care if they told the cops? It wasn’t like he didn’t have a solid alibi.

“You’re acting as if they’re right or something” the words fell from your mouth without a thought, simply out of frustration. You knew you didn’t believe that, but by the way the vehicle abruptly stopped you couldn’t say the same for your boyfriend.  

“Get the fuck out.”

You turned in his direction, and it was like a stranger was staring back at you. You frowned deeply at him, and he added on to his previous words. 

“Don’t ever say some shit like that to me. I’m trying to defend you and-and you take their fucking side?!”

“I didn’t mean it like that! You should know that Rafe! You’re so blinded by wanting to teach them a lesson that you’re not considering how I feel. Why do you even care this much? Why cant you just drop it.” 

You unbuckled your seatbelt, readying yourself to get out the car, even though you knew damn well that he really didn't want you to leave.

He let out a huff before putting the gun on the dash. He reached out to you, gently cupping your chin. You were hesitant but eventually leaned into his touch. His lips met your forehead, before he pressed his head to yours, your noses brushed each others, and you closed your eyes feeling ok in this little moment. 

“I care this much because I love you.” You parted your lips at his stubborn defense, ready to tell him that if he cared he’d leave it alone. You tried to pull back but before you could his lips were on yours. His hand tugged you in at your jaw overwhelming you with his passion.

When he pulled away you sighed, and he noted you in all your frustrated glory. 

You were struggling to contain a rogue sniffle, when you felt him set the cold gun in your lap, “Hold onto it if it makes you feel better. I can get my point across without it.”

He put the car back in drive and you don’t know why you said what you did next, maybe because he still hadn’t dropped it. 

“Where were you Rafe. Tell me again.” He reeled back and tilted his head at you in shock. You felt dumb for asking but couldn't help it, “M'not saying that I doubt you. Just need you to tell me again so I don't feel fucking crazy.”

You knew where he was that day, but something in you was itching to be reaffirmed. You needed it so bad for some reason. 

His lips slowly parted, “I was crashing at Barry’s. Remember 'cause my dad kicked me out?” 

Your lip curled downward, you swore he told you that he was hiding out at the Glisson’s beach house. Your fingers steadied the cold gun on your thigh.

“No, you told me you were at the Glisson’s. I remember because you mentioned that they were in Sun Valley at the time.” 

He looked at you, and you looked at him and for a split moment there was this glint in his eyes. 

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right I did stay there. I crashed earlier at Barry’s then went over there.”

Your mind began wondering then, replaying that look he gave you. 

“I guess that makes me feel… better” you tried to lie to yourself to feel better. It didn’t work though, specifically because you noticed how he let out a deep breath. Like it was a relief to hear you say that.

In that moment your mind wandered back to that glint in his eyes… 

That was when you put two and two together that maybe Rafe wasn’t so adamant on handling this because of you. Maybe it’s because he was really trying to protect himself. What if they were right, you thought.

That was when you looked at the lock, then the door handle. Without much further contemplation you swung it open and hurdled out the passenger side, clutching the gun in your hand. The ground hurt, and you definitely got some scrapes, but the adrenaline set in instantaneously. You got to your feet and ran into the brush, accidentally falling into a rain induced wetland. You lost the gun momentarily and retrieving it soaked the entirety of your sleeve in the process. 

Not far in the distance you heard him calling after you. Quick thinking had you praying that he left the truck running. You ran back to the road in hopes that he was too occupied with searching for you.

That’s how you ended up with Rafe now staring down the barrel of his own gun, at the hands of you. His girlfriend.

Tears trickle down your face.

“Did you kill her?” The words came out choked. Scared of what could be your reality.

“No! I didn’t kill her!” He exhales deeply, blue eyes frantically looking between yours. “C’mon this is ridiculous. Baby? Would you put the fucking gun down.”

“Why don’t I believe you.” You sniffled, voice uneven. “Make me believe you, Rafe.”

You love him, so why are you struggling so bad with the simple act of trusting his word. 

“These fucking pogues.” He mumbles under his breath, bringing his palms to his forehead as he begins pacing back and forth.

He turns his back to you with his hands on his head, and you continue to clutch the weapon. You guys stay still like this for a bit.

When he finally turns back around, you notice how his eyes are watery and he looks distraught. But worst of all he looks guilty.  

“No…”

"Listen you know that you mean everything to me, right? It- it was a mistake, it happened so fast.” Your stomach dropped beyond compare.

The click of the trigger was deafening, especially considering how no loud sound followed. 

Rafe’s eyes grew wide, then his brows immediately began to furrow. Anger washed over him as he practically lunged at you, trapping you between him and the hood of the vehicle.

He yanks the gun out of your hands, and immediately opens the mag releasing a heap of water and bullets onto the road.

His breaths were heavy but he managed to chuckle.

“If this didn’t happen to get wet, I would be laid out on the ground. You want to kill me y/n?” He was so serious now staring down at you as he caged you to the warm hood. “I tell you that you're everything to me, and you try to kill me.” He scoffs, "Didn't even give me a chance to explain, or-or fucking apologize?"

Your hand instantly connects with his face and you had no words aside from calling him a psychopath.

He touched you, held you, and took care of you as if he wasn’t responsible for your pain. 

“She was going to shoot my dad.” Your heart clenched at the full admission.

His hand gently grabs your face trying to get you to look at him, to force his perspective onto you. Your resistance is met with a much more harsh grip as he searches your eyes for god knows what. 

“I had to protect him” 

That broke you. Who’s he to say that protecting his father was worth taking your mothers life?

“Fuck you.” You choked out. You didn’t expect him to snake his arms around you in a hug, forcing you to sob into his chest.

You tried to push him off but too exhausted, and hurt and warn out you gave up. He held you for what felt like a painful eternity, then moved to cup your face. 

“I’m sorry. I am.”

“You disgust me. You...” You couldn't think of a word to describe how evil someone has to be to do this. It felt surreal.

“I love you” 

“You don’t love me.” You push at him feeling nauseous, but of course he doesn't move.

“I do. Come on y/n, you just attempted to kill me and here I am looking past it. Does that not show you anything?” 

“You killed my mom. Then played me for a fool. You lied to my face for months and pretended like everything was normal.” You couldn’t help the tears, and shakiness of your breath.

His lips brushed yours and you wanted to throw up. 

“I fucked up I know, but I’m gonna make-”

“You’re delusional and clinically fucking insane if you think that anything on earth could make this right. I want nothing to do with you.”

His jaw ticked at that, before nodding off to himself.

“That’s too fucking bad then.” He sighed before kissing your forehead and dragging you back to the passenger side. 

-

Five months later... 

“I’ve been patient haven't I?”

His ring clad hand encases your throat, while his other digs into the meat of your hip. He ruts into you like a man starved. “How much longer you gonna keep icing me out, hmm?” 

‘Icing out’ didn’t grasp the true gravity of your relationship, but of course he would describe it in such a way that reduces the gravity of everything that he'd done.  

You bat your eyes shut, at a particularly deep stroke, ignoring his dumb question.

Your monstrous hormones were to blame for the way you were dripping down onto the sheets. The bottom of your ass' damp with wetness as he pleases your walls. Even though you despise him, you can’t do anything about how well he knows your body. He cracked the code way before you knew he was a murderer.

He manages to bring you to an earth shattering release, for the second time tonight.

His hand moves from your hip to pin your hand near your head. His fingers intertwine with yours, but you don’t reciprocate the action. He buries his head between your neck kissing there, and sucking at the sensitive skin, likely leaving a mark as he slowly rocks into you.

“Why do you do that?” You groan, as he pulls away to look down at you.

“So everyone knows you’re mine” 

You roll your eyes at that and he brings his lips to your perked nipple, swirling his tongue against it.

You bite back a moan, “Everyone is well aware Rafe.”

He rubs the gold band that rests on your finger, before moving to spread his hand along your rounding belly. 

After that fated night, things changed within an instant. It was a blur honestly. Your hatred for Ward is level with the amount you hold for Rafe. Mainly, because he forced you to go to the courthouse with his son the day after the incident. Something about married couples not being able to testify against each other in court.

Rafe groaned at the feel of you sucking him in, “Can never be too sure”

The overstimulation was getting to you, like bad. His name slips from your mouth, a subtle plea for him to keep doing whatever the fuck he’s already doing down there.

“Can’t keep this shit up when the baby arrives.” His hand cradles your jaw, and his lips brush yours. 

“Good thing I have 5 more months.”

You whine out as his thumb connects with your bundle of nerves. His toying of your clit makes you become increasingly more vocal.

“Tell me you love me.” His lips ghost over yours and you tut out of annoyance, you hated when he did this.

You hadn't told him those three words since you found out what he did, and you had no plans on ever saying them again. You didn't even want to say it out of a lie, because that would be just enough for him, and he didn't deserve that kind of relief.

Often he would try to get you as vulnerable and fucked out as possible in some weird scheme to get you to say it. Like you'd slip up or something.

“Can you just fuck me, m’not in the mood for this Rafe.”

Your rejection only spurs him on, like usual, pace now calculatingly slow as he continues to stroke your bud with his thumb.

“That’s fine. You know why? Because somewhere in that cold heart of yours I know that you feel something for me.”

His hand caresses your stomach, and you’re all but seconds away from unraveling around him again.

“And if not, then at least you’re gonna love the little extension of me growing inside you.”

-

years later…

You can't lie, Rafe had changed a lot within these past two years. Bossed up and became a real man you could say. Would you give him that credit though? Absolutely not.

He made life as easy as it could be, given the circumstances. The only responsibility you have is being a mother. Which isn’t really a responsibility considering the fact that she’s everything to you. Your entire heart and soul. Sometimes you swore you could see hints of your mom in her.

You know that you’ll never forgive him, it was something you fully accepted and he still hadn’t. No matter how much things seemed perfect and domestic and ‘ok’, you still held her in your heart.

With that you wouldn’t classify him as a good man, but you can at least say that he is a good dad.

Sometimes things felt so normal that you momentarily forgot your situation. Other times he couldn’t help but remind you of his true nature, of being a persistent asshole. Like earlier this morning.

You’re sitting on the living room mat with your girl, watching her stack the colorful blocks. He comes into view, standing at the edge of the couch watching you two with the phone pressed to his ear.

Your toddler storms up and runs to cling to his leg, when she notices him.

“Daddy!”

“Figure it out, Its what I pay you for. If it's not handled by Monday I'm firing you. Got that?" He hangs up abrubdtly then picks her up in his arms, swaying her around. Before holding her against his chest.

He showers your daughter’s face with kisses, and the happy giggles coming from her bring a smile to your face.

“What were you and mommy doing angel?” he walks closer to you, as you knee up from the rug. Your hand naturally rests on your growing belly bump as you watch them.

“Building a castle!”

He looks down at it telling her that it was the best one he’s ever seen.

He rubs her cheek, “Are you excited to spend the weekend at granddad’s?”

She loudly expresses her sheer excitement following it up with, “Can you and mommy stay too!? It’s fun!”

You move closer to them, to fix one of her pigtails, “I wish baby”.

You really did mean that. You shot him a glare behind your daughter’s back. He sprung a trip on you this morning while you were brushing your teeth, saying that everything was already arranged.

“You see, mommy and I are celebrating this thing called an anniversary.”

“Ani-wha? what’s that?”

He chuckles brushing his hand over her hair “It reminds mommy and I how much we love each other. Isn’t that right?” he glances at you, and her head turns the same.

“Mhm, yeah.”

“Is it because daddy loves mommy more?”

You blink at that, shocked to hear that come from her, “Hey, where’d you get that idea missy?”

“Dunno” she stares back at you with a little pout.

Your rub her cheek, “There’s no need to think that baby”-and for the sake of your child, for the first time in forever did you say anything of the sort- “I love daddy. Don’t you worry princess.”

Her lips curl at that, and not wanting her to pick up on any hostility you give Rafe a soft kiss on the lips. Then a kiss to her cheek.

Immediately after you’ve dropped her off, you’re ripping him a new one.

“Did you put that in her head?”

“What? No.” He starts the truck.

You scoff, “I can’t believe you’d go that far to-“

“Hey! don’t accuse me for something I didn’t do. She’s two, she picks up on shit.”

“You’re saying this is my fault?”

“What I'm saying is that she’s got a brain of her own.”

You hum, at the realization that you were likely going to have to be more intentional, and play up your affections for her sake. She deserves a healthy environment. You huff out of irritation and his hand spreads over your belly.

"Relax, yeah? The stress isn't good for the baby. We’re gonna go on this trip, relax a little, and maybe you can get real familiar with the idea of loving me."

"Whatever"

"Hey, didn’t I tell you that you wouldn't be able to keep up with that shit forever.”

i'm so serious she will never love this man! she is stuck with him, that's it.

thanks for reading! I beg of you guys to leave some thoughts and feedback. they are highly appreciated and mean a lot + they encourage me to share more :(

stepbro rafe hcs!

Warnings: stepcest, dub-con, reader’s lowkey a bimbo, light smut, pervy behavior, DARK CONTENT, jealousy.

a/n: this is my first post so please be nice and as always mdni!

stepbrother! rafe who was always a little too touchy with you, holding your hips to move you out of his way, caressing your head when you did something right, placing his hand on your thigh as you sat next to him at family dinner, making you his personal eye candy at parties, making his friends envious, and making their shorts tighten at your cleavage as they watched you lean down and pick something up for Rafe.

You dismissed it as casual affection because you were just relieved that your intimidating big evil stepbrother liked you.

;;

A shiver ran through you as you felt Rafe’s fingers graze your spine as he pulls down the zipper, and you see him lick his lips at the sight of your boobs spilling out of your push-up bra.

You gasp when he unhooks it in one swift motion making it pool at your feet, and you bite your lip as his finger reaches out to brush over your hardened nipple.

stepbro! Rafe always carries drags you back to his room when you've had a little too much to drink, stripping you and changing your clothes so you can wear his, so you know better than to protest as his gaze hungrily travels down your half-naked body, swallowing roughly when your palms reach up to squeeze your boobs as a protection against the cold air and cock twitching when you look up at him through your lashes and whine for him to give you his shirt already.

;;

stepbro! rafe wrapped your lace panties around his hardening cock, getting off to your pictures, in his defense, you did ask him to take a good picture of you and perhaps he took a few extra for himself. You didn't mind because you were wearing the miniskirt he bought you as an act of reconciliation after he beat up that touron for talking to you, so it's not entirely his fault that he took a few in different angles. That's what a nice stepbrother does, right?

;;

stepbro! rafe who takes you shopping on the mainland where he buys you the skimpiest little skirts he can think of, skirts that he knows will undoubtedly hike up when you bend over, as well as some lace lingerie sets that would flash through your see-through shirts.

He usually follows you into the dressing room as you change, observing you with a hungry glare. He means well, of course; after all, who else is going to assist you in undressing?

;;

drunk or coked out stepbro! Rafe who slips into your room at night under the guise of just checking in on his stepsister, and before you know it he’s grinding against you,and being the good and obedient, step sister that you are, you grind back into him knowing that he just needs to relieve some tension. However, you squeeze your thighs together in an effort to stop him when he inserts his hand between them,

“Rafe …. but mom and dad?”

Sighing, he moves in closer and says, "Look, I just need you right now, okay?" and with that, he grabs your hand and presses it against his bulge. “This is what you do to me” he groans. You relent some not wanting to upset him he’s your favorite person after all and you just want to help him, it's what good stepsisters do right? And you let his hand make its way into your shorts, calloused fingers teasing your clit, “fuck so wet for me angel” he mumbles kissing you on the sweet spot right under your ear, and when you hear his belt unbuckle and hand snake his way around your throat you know you're in for a long night.