Do You Remember Summer 09?

do you remember summer ‘09?

do you remember summer ‘09?

intro: singularity: drinking red wine from a penthouse suite, looking down at the busy streets and staring at the night skyline. the city that never sleeps.

fake love: climbing a mountain in the morning, but the paths are rough. rocks dig into your shoe, but you push onwards; the peak never seemed so far away.

the truth untold: listening to the man playing the piano at a restaurant. each press of his finger against the board sounds reminiscent of something you can’t quite remember.

134340: going on a road trip with no destination in mind, you just keep going. the sun is setting, but time drips like honey. you roll the window down, and the breeze beats itself gently across your face.

paradise: dancing with a partner you had just met at the bar. they dance in circles around you, and you barely keep up. the buzz in your bones pushes you on and on.

love maze: taking off in a plane, going to a place you had only read of in books. you know you’re going to get lost, but that’s part of the fun, isn’t it? 

magic shop: watching the ones you love succeeding all around you, all of their faces stretching with happiness. they take the last few steps up the podium, and the shutter of your camera resounds in the auditorium. everything is illuminant.

airplane pt 2: walking through a crowded night market somewhere in south america, the heat enveloping you in a semi-uncomfortable blanket. your lover takes you by the hand, a grin on their face dripping with mischief and adventure.

anpanman: dancing without any real rhythm, surrounded by friends. they laugh with you, watching as your arms flap around you like a bird. in that moment, you think that you could have reached the sky if you tried.

so what: meeting someone new in a place you have always called home, they take you by surprise with their unrelenting curiosity. they point and stare at things you had always called ordinary, and suddenly the world seems so big again.

outro: tear: walking through an abandoned building, and you are existing in a place that shouldn’t be real. everything is surreal and you feel the air force itself down your throat. there’s a sense of urgency where there shouldn’t be. something’s about to end.

️alone 

jimin had to keep on living, he had to stop thinking, he had to stop getting hurt. he did some shit yeah, but doesn’t mean he has to be ghosted by his old and much dearest to his heart friends. they left him, they left him to feel rotten and broken, the words of “i’ll be here no matter what happens” rings onto his mind, realizing that that one was just a lie. he wanted out, he didn’t what to feel not anymore, he was lonely and desperate. his “friends” assuming he was okay, going to yoongi instead, caring much more for him than for himself. he hated it, he felt left out, abandoned, and he wanted to cry. but he wouldn’t. nothing was worth crying anymore. Not his friends, not yoongi. -

jimin returned to what once upon a time made him break, this time, maybe adding a few more stuff, drugs, alcohol and the same old same lust he looked for pleasure, he looked for stuff that could fill in the hole that yoongi left when he decided to leave him out to dry. he needed something. every night regretting the things he’d done and remembering the arms of the one he really wants to feel. fuck, jimin was so fucked up, he couldn’t stand life anymore, he couldn’t find any purpose to living it, other that the memories he held from him and his old lover. to the point where the only thing he thought about was yoongi, yoongi, yoongi, yoongi his mind kept screaming yoongi. he needed him he couldn’t live without him. there was a breaking point, he was broken once again, but not in the same way as he was before. he didn’t care, not anymore, he now let’s people just toy with his body, make him introduce substances having no clue of what they are and being aware that he was being destroyed. he destroyed himself for him.

-

he didn’t believe in love, he couldn’t, he was suffering so much. it hurt he was hurting; he couldn’t get out of the cycle he was in. he wanted to rot nothing yet again made sense. as in for yoongi, he knew jimin was having it rough but he didn’t know he was destroying himself. till one day he saw him, he was there sitting on a club, with probably more than one boy next to him. jimin was letting them touch him, kiss him, he let them do whatever they wanted, jimin was alone now, that’s what yoongi was thinking. he saw jimin stand up from his sit, being really touchy with one of the guys that were insinuating themselves for him. and that broke yoongi, even though he did the same every night, seeing jimin’s dead eyes follow that dude to what seemed redemption, he felt something on the inside pinch and explode. he then realized he was the one who hurt him. He was the one that even though he knew jimin was watching his every move he broke him letting him see whatever he was doing with other people. and at that moment he knew, jimin didn’t want to be saved anymore. but then again he wanted to save him.

-

but then again, life is unexpected. it wasn’t a surprise anymore when yoongi left  15 missed calls on jimin’s phone, he felt regetful, that’s a first. when jimin picked up, shit was rough yoongi couldn’t stand what jimin wanted to say to him. he couldn’t stand the fact that jimin felt regretful for whatever he did, he didn’t want it to be true, he didn’t want to be hating jimin for nothing. but that was all he had hatred on his body.

jimin knew yoongi fucked he fucked up. yet still he was wiling to be forgiving, it’s hard to let go when in the first place you didn’t even want to. 

yoongi messed things up again, and that was were this unending cycle begun.

‘the best of me’

cr — tw; tinymojis