Change Chapter 2

Change   Chapter 2

The next morning Merlin lay abed, his thoughts racing. Maybe Gaius was right, he should do nothing and trust Gwen, but his first instinct was to protect Arthur and his interests. In the past few years that had meant protecting Gwen, but was she now going against what Arthur would want? He grabbed at his hair in frustration, this was all so confusing. He sat up in hopes of clearing his head. He came to the decision that all he would do for now was observe Gwen and Sir Leon, perhaps his assumptions were wrong.

A few days later Merlin passed Leon in the courtyard. Leon carried his arms loosely by his sides, but in one hand he grasped a small bouquet of flowers. Merlin decided to follow him. Leon entered through a gate into the small walled garden. Merlin stayed at the gateway, partially hidden behind a wall.

Merlin could see Gwen inside the garden, and Leon was heading straight towards her. Merlin made a fist with his hand, and his eyes flashed. The flower stems bent and the flowers withered.

"For you." Leon said to Gwen, presenting the flowers with a flourish, having no idea of their changed condition. Merlin tried not to laugh. Gwen took the blooms hesitantly.

"Thank you, but I have no idea what this means." It was then that Leon realized the state of the flowers.

"I am so sorry" he said, clearly embarrassed "they were fine when I picked them earlier."

"Never mind, it is the thought that counts" she said. giving Leon a smile. They than began to converse in hushed tones. Merlin was trying to decide if he should retreat, when he saw Leon reach towards Gwen, he either meant to touch her shoulders or hug her. Without thinking Merlin gently waved his hand, his eyes flashing again. Sir Leon stumbled backwards, catching himself before he could fall.

"Leon" called Gwen, sounding worried "are you alright?" Grabbing his arm to steady him.

"Yes. I lost my balance for a moment. It felt almost like I had been pushed."

"Really? That is most strange" Gwen replied as she looked around the garden. Merlin ducked behind the wall.

"Come" he heard her say "let us get you inside." Their footsteps faded away as they made their way towards the castle door that opened into the garden.

(chapter 1)

She needed a hero, so that’s what she became.

The loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest, the most damaged people are the wisest, all because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.

(insp)

Choices    Chapter 1

Note: I am saving this here because of issues at AO3

He was awake, but he chose to lay still. The early morning sun filtered in through the tent flaps. He could hear the sounds of the camp awakening, people moving and talking in hushed voices, horses neighing for their breakfast, the smell of meat being fried.

She moved in the bed next to him. She rolled unto her side facing him, smushing her face into the pillow, eyes still closed in sleep.

He still wondered how she came to be his bed partner. She was the opposite of what he was normally attracted to, dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, and yet they had traveled half of Essos together.

She had been a Khaleesi once, than a member of the Dosh Khaleen. when Daenerys had returned to Vas Dothrak, amassing a great khalasar, she had offered to bring her west with her. Karcia, still being young, agreed.

That is how Jorah met her, just one of many new faces surrounding his Queen. Daenerys had forgiven him, and allowed him to become a member of her Queensguard. However, things were not the same, he was no longer her most trusted adviser and she often did not heed his counsel. She was constantly surrounded by men vying for her attention. He had often seethed with frustration.

One night, after an irritating council meeting he found Karcia alone by the fire. He found himself telling her his thoughts, about his mistrust of the council members, his resentment of his position and his unrequited love for Daenerys. She had comforted him, and that night they shared a bed for the very first time. The next day she moved her things into his tent.

They were moving in a great mass of humanity across Essos, Daenerys' mighty horde, a strange mix of Dothraki, Unsullied, sellswords and freedmen, plus hundreds of women and children. When she had decided to leave Meereen behind, Daenerys had said any who were able to make the journey were free to join her. It had taken many weeks, but soon they would reach Pentos, meeting Daenerys' ships, that would take them across the Narrow Sea, that would take him home.

Karcia stretched in bed, than opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Jorah the Andal." She said giving him a quick kiss. She almost always called him that, like the Dothraki did. The only time she slipped, and called only by his first name, was in moments of passion.

She crawled out of bed, and began to dress.

"I will see about getting us some food." She returned a short time later with a plate heaped with meat and bread.

"You are still abed?"

"I find myself reluctant to leave it this morning."

"Then we shall break our fast in bed." She slide across the bed offering him first choice of the food.

"Do not worry, Jorah the Andal, soon we reach Pentos, and then you go home." He gave her a wistful smile. They ate in silence for a while.

"Tell me about your home, Jorah the Andal."

"I have told you many times."

"No" she insisted "you have told me about Westeros. I want to know about your home, where you grew up, Bear Island I believe you call it."

"Bear Island is wild, but welcoming, cold, but beautiful. I lived in Mormont Keep, a castle" she gave him a confused look "a building like you would find in Meereen or Pentos, but not nearly so grand. Bear Island was a good place for a boy to grow up. I learned how to hunt, fish, sail" he sighed "I only wish I had appreciated it more. When I was a young man I dreamed of going south, of adventure in far flung places."

"It is only natural for a son to want to see more than his father, to venture further a field."

"Perhaps, but now all I want is to return to a home where I might not be wanted." She thought about it for a moment.

"Even if you never see Bear Island again, it must be nice to know you had a home, and it will always be there. The only home I ever knew was my parents tent."

"What about the Khal's tent?"

"No" she said adamantly "that place was never a home." He had thought as much. She rarely talked about her time as a Khaleesi, and she never mentioned the Khal.

"I have know few enough places to call home, only my parent's tent ... and this one" she quietly added. She considered being with him at home? Before he could think how to respond, she had taken the plate and exited the tent.

Where do you go when home is people who are not here anymore?

(insp)

Change   Chapter 5

After his meeting with Gwen Merlin walked the castle grounds for a time, thinking about all she said, before returning to Gaius. Gaius was seated, supposedly reading, but he looked up as soon as Merlin entered.

"How did it go?" Gaius inquired.

"You were right. She noticed my strange behaviour, and the magic I thought I had hidden so well." Merlin told Gaius everything they had discussed, Gaius nodded frequently, but did not interrupt until he was finished.

"Gwen is turning out to be an astute Queen for one so young and with all the trails she has had to face."

"But, is she right?"

"About Sir Leon or Arthur?"

"Either." Gaius sighed.

"Merlin death is never an easy thing. When someone dies it can feel like the world should stop, but life continues, the crops must be harvested, animals need to be feed, the sick must be tended to, and finding love is part of life."

"But, Arthur isn't dead, not in the true sense."

"We are all aware of the dragon's prophesy, but we can not suspend our lives waiting for it to occur. Arthur himself had to deal with death, he had to continue on after his father passed, he had to adapt to a new life. Do you really think that if Arthur came back today that he would be angry at Gwen for living?" Merlin didn't answer Gaius, but he thought long and hard about what he said. That night when they were preparing for bed Merlin asked

"How are you so wise?" Gaius allowed himself a small smile.

"Wisdom comes from age and experience. You are a great deal wiser than when we first met, and someday when you are my age you will know things beyond my comprehension." He gave Merlin's shoulder a squeeze, and headed to his bed. Merlin walked towards his room, but stopped on the threshold and turned.

"Thank you, Gaius."

"For what?"

"For always being there for me."

"It's been an honour Merlin, it truly has."

From that day forth Merlin no longer interfered between Gwen and Sir Leon. Actually, he made sure that the servants and members of the court gave them the privacy they required. It was not always easy, he often doubted himself, but then he would think back to that conversation with Gaius. He knew the answer to Gaius' question, Arthur would not be angry at Gwen, he would want her to live and find joy. Also, by helping Gwen he came to realize he himself wasn't living a full life, he had been living a partial life, a suspended life, waiting on Arthur's return. It was time for him to make some changes, if Arthur would want happiness for Gwen, he would want the same thing for Merlin too.

The End

(chapter 1) (chapter 2) (chapter 3) (chapter 4)