She Needed A Hero, So Thats What She Became.

She needed a hero, so that’s what she became.

Change   Chapter 1

Note:  I am saving this here because of issues at AO3

The council meeting was over, and he was one of the final few to exit the room. At the last moment he had a thought, and turned. He saw Sir Leon with his hand upon Gwen's shoulder, and she had placed her hand over his. It was a small gesture, but a telling one. He left, his thought unexpressed.

He made his way to Gaius' quarters. He still lived, part of the time, with Gaius. Gaius was getting older, and often needed his assistance. The remainder of his time was spent in the abandoned crofter's cottage, he had made over into his own home. He often retreated there when he wished to experiment with magic, or needed solitude. He was no longer a longer a servant, although he did still serve the Queen. She had made him a member of her council. Some still looked down upon him or feared his skill with magic, but Gwen appreciated his abilities.

"Merlin" called Gaius, as he entered the room " I hadn't expected you back so early." Gaius was bent over a book, instructing young David. David was a lad from the lower town Gaius had taken on as apprentice, to teach him the way of the healing arts. When Merlin didn't return Gaius' greeting he must have seen something on Merlin's face. He turned to dismiss David.

"I think that is enough studying for today, why don't you head on home." David gathered his things, wished them a good evening and left. After the door closed shut, Merlin began to pace.

"Is something wrong, Merlin?"

"No, yes, maybe?" Gaius gave him a exasperated look.

"Have you noticed something different about Gwen and Sir Leon lately?"

"In what way?"

"A couple of weeks ago I thought I saw them holding hands, but I was a distance away, and I thought I was imagining it. However, today after the council meeting I clearly saw Sir Leon touch her shoulder, and Gwen touched his hand."

"So, what of it? Gwen and Leon have been friends for years. They were friends before she married Arthur." Merlin sat down across from Gaius.

"But, what if they are more than friends? what if they have feelings for each other, romantic feelings?" he emphasized.

"Well, I'm not convinced, but I could hardly blame them if they did. Gwen has been ruling on her own for quite some time, it must get very lonely."

"She is Arthur's wife."

"She was Arthur's wife. I know part of him still lives on the island of Avalon, but in this world he is gone."

"I don't like this. This can't be the way things are supposed to be." He said, as he got up and headed towards his room.

"Merlin" Gaius called "I would stay out of this. You are hardly an expert on matters of the heart. You must trust Gwen's judgment, and know she wouldn't make a rash decision." Merlin turned and entered his room.

The loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest, the most damaged people are the wisest, all because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.

(insp)

GLIMPSE OF AFTER

She was finally feeling better, and her head was clear. Then they told her about Glen's death.

"When?"

"A few days ago. We didn't want to tell you right away, to give you time to recover"

"No" she said, cutting Rick off "when exactly did Glen die?" Rick and Daryl exchanged looks.

"Five days ago" answered Daryl. Five days, the timing was right, but it wasn't real. Rick kept talking, but she wasn't listening, her thoughts were in a different place.

__________________________________________________________

Over the next few days she started making forays out of bed. Rosita said she needed to take it easy, but she couldn't stand to sit still for so long. When she ventured out Daryl would hover, afraid she would get hurt again. She did laundry, which turned out to be more exhausting than it should have been. Daryl made her sit on the couch afterwards, he sat on the chair near her, the two of them sharing the silence.

Maggie entered the room. It was the first time Carol had seen her. She looked terrible, there were dark circles under her eyes, she was pale and she seemed to radiate a profound weariness.

"I'm so sorry, Maggie." Maggie nodded her head in acknowledgment, and eased down on the other side of the couch. Carol knew what it was like to be without words.

"Why did you ask when Glen died?"

"Maggie..."

"Rick said you wanted to know specifically when Glen died, why?" Carol sighed.

"It's going to sound strange, I don't want to burden you with it."

"I want to know" Maggie stated, looking at her intently. Carol didn't know how to begin to explain, but she had to try.

"When I was out, I was having this dream. I was in this peaceful meadow, and Sophia was there, she was so beautiful" her voice cracked, and Daryl reached over and grabbed her hand. "The girls were there too, Lizzie and Mika, all three of them pulling me along. Sophia was talking, telling me everything was okay now, that I could stay there with them. In the distance I could see people sitting at picnic tables, they were laughing and smiling, like they were having a party. I saw Merle," she smiled at Daryl, "Dale, Andrea, Lori, Beth and your Dad." She continued, looking at Maggie.

"Suddenly Glen was there, standing next to me. I knew that wasn't right, that he shouldn't be there. He said to Sophia 'Your Mom's not ready, yet. You need to let go', they released my hands, everything started to fade away, and then I woke up." Carol brushed the tears from her cheeks, Maggie was doing the same.

"What day was this? That you had this dream."

"The same day Glen died." Maggie broke down then, sobbing. Carol wrapped her left arm around Maggie as she cried on her shoulder. Daryl still tightly held her right hand. The three of them stayed there a long time, riding the wave of grief.

(A03)

Where do you go when home is people who are not here anymore?

(insp)

Change   Chapter 4

Merlin entered Gwen's quarters following the guard. Gwen was sitting on the window seat, the light shone like a halo around her.

"Your Grace, I have brought Merlin, as requested" announced the guard.

"Thank you, you may leave us." Gwen got up and walked over to the table. She indicated that he should take the seat at her right, while she sat at the head of the table.

"Merlin, we're friends are we not?"

"Of course."

"Have I done something to offend you, or that you have disliked?"

"No."

"I see, and what of Sir Leon, is he your friend?"

"Yes."

"Has he offended you, or abused your trust in anyway?" Merlin hesitated for a moment.

"No."

"Merlin, strange things have been happening to Sir Leon and myself, magical things. Would you happen to know anything about that?" Merlin studied his hands, tracing a pattern on the table.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Let me give you a few examples, gifts Sir Leon means to give me are inexplicably damaged before I can receive them, when he tries to be close to me he feels like he is being pushed back by an unseen hand, the other day it felt like I had some sort of invisible shield around me, I could not touch anyone and no one could get close to me." Merlin hide a small smile, that last one he was particularly proud of, although it had not been easy to maintain over a long period of time.

"I remember years ago when similar things used to happen, we would write them off as strange occurrences, until we learned who was responsible." Merlin was silent. "Please, there is no use trying to deny it, it must be you. Unless some strange sorcerer has found his way into the castle, which I think you would have noticed since you have spent everyday by my side." There was no use trying to hide his actions any longer.

"Yes, it was me."

"Why Merlin?"

"Because you and Sir Leon are more than friends." It was Gwen's turn to fidget.

"I thought as much, but I had hoped it was something else, that others hadn't noticed."

"I don't know about the others, but I noticed, and Gaius knows."

"I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Merlin, what is it about Sir Leon and I being together that disturbs you so much? Why did you feel you had to go to such lengths to separate us?"

"Arthur. I have always protected Arthur, and furthered his interests, and you're Arthur's wife."

"I was Arthur's wife. He's gone."

"But, he will come again." She sighed.

"I know the words of the dragons prophesy as well as you do, but it has been five years. Five years where I have been sorely tested by our enemies, and our friends. There were many times when I looked for him to come, many trails where I have thought this must be a signal of his return. But, there is nothing but silence from the isle of Avalon, and I have come to realize that he must be needed for a time other than my own, and I do no want to spend the rest of my life alone."

Was Gwen correct? Was Arthur truly gone? He wanted to scream at her that she was wrong, that Arthur would return within their lifetimes. But, maybe she was right, Arthur might be needed by a future and distant Camelot. Was it fair to expect Gwen to wait for an event that may never occur? A great sadness filled Merlin the more he thought upon the matter. Something must have shown on his face, because Gwen placed her hand over his.

"I did not mean to make you angry or sad, and I am sorry if I have caused you distress, but your magical interference needs to stop." Gwen began to rise from her chair, as if to signal an end to their conservation.

"Do you love him? Sir Leon?" Gwen collapsed back into her chair.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" asked Merlin, incredulous.

"It is still so new. Leon has been there for me through one of the hardest periods of my life. He has been my defender, adviser, confident and friend, but it only recently that I realized he cold be more."

"What changed?"

"A couple of months ago, when the group of you went to deal with the brigands on the northern boarders, and Leon was badly injured."

"But, I healed him."

"And I thank you for that, but it scared me, and my heart hurt at the thought of him not being part of my future. Afterwards, when things were clam and he was well, I told him how I felt, and surprisingly he felt the same way, but he never spoke to me, because I was the Queen. We decided to quietly spend time together, to make sure our feelings were true, before we told anyone. Or at least that was the plan."

"Until I ruined it."

"Yes. You know I had worried about the opinions of many people, the council, the other knights, but I never worried about you. You and I have been friends for many years, we were even friends before Arthur. I thought if anyone would wish for my happiness it would be you."

"I do want you to be happy, Gwen. Things just got mixed around in my head. I made a judgement about what was best for you, and I was just trying to protect you. Being a wise sorcerer is not as easy as it seems" he said giving her smile, she gave him one in return.

"No, I guess it's not, but next time something is worrying you, just come talk to me about it."

"Alright, no more invisible shields or dying flowers, but if he hurts you, or you change your mind..."

"I know where to find you." Merlin rose to take his leave. As he headed towards the door Gwen called to him.

"Merlin, I won't change my mind." Merlin nodded and left the room.

(chapter 1) (chapter 2) (chapter 3)