I Feel Like I Have That Kind Of Face That'd Stare Back At You With This Smug Expression, From A Pastel

I feel like I have that kind of face that'd stare back at you with this smug expression, from a pastel blue toilet bowl, it might have just been the water, after you've done a massive dump.

Then as horror tickles your left arm, the shackles of your knees yank you into the vent above. As you ascend, the room elongates and time slows. From the room you existed for what seemed like eternity, you are torn.

The light, that you now understand were Lay's Classic chips, ceases. In it's place was nothing, not the absence of something, just nothing. Despite how they always meant the same thing, they never did. How have you just now noticed? How have you just now made sense? It didn't matter. Nothing matters anymore, solely because, nothing is left.

Nothing except-

You jolt awake to the deafening silence. Ringing screams into your ears and blood races through your veins. You feel. For the first time in forever. You exist again. As you brain returns to reality, it slaps with the realization: it was all a dream.

But wait. what is this feeling? your bowel....it begs you...for relief

My roommate just gave me a plate of food and told me to eat. Little do they know a strand of their hair was on it. You know what that means. :]

guess who gets to add Doritos Locos Tacos to "Things I Have Accidentlly Snorted List"

No Cap

Person: Gets decapitated Me: No cap The murderer: What Me: What

My child, one day you will look back and realize just how many things knowledge has robbed you of.

Wow, I used to be funny, interesting, and pRODUCTIVE??????? I USED TO HAVE PERSONALITY!?!?!??? 'M so mad rn. so mad.