I Am Neither Child Friendly Nor Friendly To Child. Which, Kind Of Makes Me A Prick, But Maybe I Wouldn't

I am neither child friendly nor friendly to child. Which, kind of makes me a prick, but maybe I wouldn't be so bad with them if people stop making me participate in their plays. They're children's plays. I'm tired of those adorable little gremlins making me so their dirty work. They're bones are elongating and fusing together at horrifying speeds as their flesh strains to prevent a series of mutilated muscles. In time they will tower over me as my mortal form crumbles.

To which their own

Their face of stone

The heart liquifies

If you can plug it in and it turns on, IT'S NOT DEAD. Okay? Coma, they go into COMA(going dormant is also acceptable).

Please, do not let them mislead you.

My roommate just gave me a plate of food and told me to eat. Little do they know a strand of their hair was on it. You know what that means. :]

This is Philip and he is my son. Today I gave him a blanket. He is very happy.

No Cap

Person: Gets decapitated Me: No cap The murderer: What Me: What

I have a freshly washed dog on me. My lap has been moistened. I don't mind though, because I love them very much.