@oneaboveallovervoid

@oneaboveallovervoid

I don’t have enough room to explain this in a reply so I’m writting a full response.

This isn’t to attack you directly (its mostly a vent) but just to speak on why what you said isn’t true.

How can you say to use your imagination when almost all reader inserts say “your face turned red as a tomato” “your hair fell down your shoulders in waves” “he ran his fingers through your hair” “your beautiful (gem color) eyes” “your pale slender shoulders” “you ran your fingers through your silky hair”??? Your comment shows you don’t have to think about this. As a person of color, specifically an unambiguous black person (afro-caribbean and afro-latina), the things listed above immediately rule me out. I won’t blush and turn red. My skin is as brown as the soil that gives the world around me life. My hair doesnt fall down my shoulders in waves. Its defies gravity and ascends to the universe like a cloud. My eyes can’t be described as something as simple as a “beautiful gem color” either, we all know the person who writes that thinks of blue, green, and hazel color eyes. Not my deep dark brown eyes that almost look black, undauntingly taking in the racist world around me.

So how can I, an unapologetic black girl from New York City, use my imagination in reader inserts when I’m not even in the imagination of the writer?

Just fucking look at Lord of the ring! Not a single black person is in it. Technically the first black person I saw was in the hobbit… Specifically when they got to laketown and it was just 2 random extras that talked amongst the crowd, debating on whether or not the mountain should be reclaimed. And because they are there for about a minute with no major role they might as well not be there at all. It would make no difference either way. The only reason why they were put there is for publicly sake. Just think about that. Think about that for a second. Rewatch ALL of the movie and you’ll see everyone is either white or white passing. There is no represention in it. Poc are not included in fandoms or movies UNTIL THERE IS BACKLASH or UNTIL WE MAKE OUR OWN SPACE. And yet when we are put in its based on stereotypes.

This is why I write exclusively for brown and black people. Because if I don’t write for us who will? A random person that only has stereotypes to base their character off of? A person that would only write their character as the [insert any poc group here] best friend that’s sassy, has no dad, a tiger mom, constantly switches between languages mid-sentence(for example spanglish), and is over-critical over everything around them?

So to say that reader inserts shouldn’t be specified based on race shows that you’re used to seeing yourself in them. I don’t have that luxury. My brothers don’t have that luxury. My friends don’t have that luxury. My sisters don’t have that luxury.

We. Dont. Have. That. Luxury.

So once again. I write exclusively for those that are black and brown people. Because nobody else writes for us.

And yet despite of all this, I am aware of the language I use and do try to be vague. I’m not stopping anyone from reading my stories. I’m just allowing those who are used to not being seen to feel heard and appreciated.

So to anyone else that is upset that poc make their own spaces after being excluded from/forgotten by fandoms, mind your business or make the fandom more accessible. We wouldn’t have to write for each other if others wrote for us.

Signed,

Black and Brown writers.

Change Your Tune

requested by × anonymous

I stared at the patterns on the ceiling in my room, my hands clench and unclenches the sheets as Tommy thrusts inside me grunting in my ear. My eyes shift from the roof to the vanity mirror across from me, I frowned softly staring at myself trying to figure out why on god green earth was I here.

"Am I boring you?" I snapped my head to looked up at Tommy not noticing he stopped and was staring down at me with a unamused look.

"No, I was just..." I trailed off sensing he didn't really want a answer, so i just shook my head.

"Nothing, I'm sorry." He stared at me for a few seconds, before his hand moved from my thigh to my neck turning my head the opposite way of the mirror. His mouth licked and bite at my skin causing my body to react, he started thrusting inside me again but harder and faster. His rough thrust caused the bed to knock against my dresser causing littler trinkets to fall to the floor.

His hand tighten around my neck causing me to close my eyes and let tommy continue fucking me, after a couple more thrust I squeezed around him tensing making tommy came inside me groaning well burying his face in my shoulder. I groaned mentally at tommy heavy body going limp on top of me, I can only imagine the looks on my father face if he find me like this now. He probably be disgusted by me if he known men did this me...well a man, tommy shifted on top of me making me snap back to reality as he gets up off the bed. I covered my body with my thin blanket before turning on my side to watch tommy put his cock back in his pants and fix his trousers, he moved over to my dresser where his jacket was pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

He put one in his mouth before glancing at me offering me one, I shook my head I didn't like the taste of them and they kinda made my lungs feel funny. He shrugged litting his cigarette and putting on his jacket, I shifted sitting up on the bed my back leaning against the wall. I looked over at tommy as he holster his gun in his back waistband before looking back on the dresser, he backed up looking on the floor for something making me move to the edge of my bed. I bended over checking under my bed to find a golden ring not too far from my reached, I lifted myself up and looked over to tommy and held out my hand.

"Thanks." He mutters taking the metal out of my hand and sliding his wedding ring on his finger, I wondered watching him look at his ring if he felt gulity for being here after lizzie forbide him from coming to this place.

He was my first and only client on the account of him being the leader of the peaky blinders, which meant I didn't have to deal with some of the pricks who go through here like the other girls. I'm not an idiot I know tommy wanting me to himself doesn't mean he gives a fuck about me, he may not say it but he makes it clear that I'm just another hole that he can stick his dick inside whenever he wants.

"It's not proper to stare." My eyes averted from his gazed when he spoke up making me look down at my bedsheets.

"I'm sorry." I heard him move towards my bed before sitting down, I felt his fingers grab my chin lifting my face up to look at him.

"You want to ask me something. Ask." He stared into my eyes as I stared into his thinking if I should ask.

"Do you ever feel gulity coming here even though lizzie told you not too?" His face was unfazed by the question, but his eyes grew hard as his hand moved from my chin to grab my jaw making me wince as he held it tightly.

"Not that its any of your business, but no I don't. Why? You getting tired of me fucking you." He said calmly.

"N-no." I shook my head in pain.

"Good." He said letting go before he stood up heading towards the door, i rubbed my jaw moving it as I scowled him with his back to me.

"Because it be a shame to found out they switch you to a different brothel, where the men could be so much worse." I looked at him startled by his threat, tommy glanced halfway over his shoulder bidding me a goodnight before opening and shutting the door with a loud bang.

I sinked back into my bed pulling my blanket tighter around me, now that tommy is mad i wonder if he going to make good on his threat. I buried my face in my pillow trying not to think about it, I threw all my thoughts about tommy away and started imagining I was back in my home in my comfortable bed and my old room with clothes all over the floor and the window that looks out to the backyard where I sit to be alone. My body started to relaxed as I imagine my old life with my friends and family, and finally fell asleep.

My brain was awake before my body as the banging on my door signal that it was time to get up, I opened my eyes staring at my reflection in the mirror seeing the hickies all over my neck and shoulder.

I groaned pushing myself up before crawling off the bed, I put on a dress shirt and some underwear from my dresser before heading towards the door.

"Hi." I looked up from closing my door to see my next door neighbor.

"Hi, blondie." The blonde smiled at me like she always do as she follows behind me down stairs.

"The madam want to talk to you." A red hair girl said walking up to me, I nodded walking towards the room where the madam would be at this time.

"Come in." I stepped in looking around before standing in front of her desk.

"Do you have your earnings?" She asked putting down her pen and looking at me, I nodded digging in my shirt pocket and pulling out a couple of pounds.

"30 pounds?" She looked impressed before putting them in bra for safe keeping.

"You can go back to your room, now." My brows knit togther.

"But I haven't eaten breakfast yet."

"Only girls who satisfy their clients get to eat." I frowned.

"But I–"

"Mr.Shelby told me about last night, he said you were distracted and gave him lip...so dismissed." I clenched my teeth watching her pick up her pen and start filling out paperwork again.

I walked out and headed towards the stairs back to my room, I sighed flopping on my back and staring at the ceiling patterns. I only hope the food I had yesterday would be enough for me, and I still have chores around the house that I had to do to get lunch so it isn't too bad. But the worst was to come when tommy didn't show up that night or the next day or the next day or the next day having to depend on doing a good job on my chores to eat, I guess this was tommy way of punishing me.

I was reading a book blondie gave to me a well back to keep me entertained, I heard two knocks from my door making me hide my book under the mattress before standing up and looking at the door as the madam and an unfamiliar man walked through the door.

" (Y/N) meet Mr. Solomon his a friend of Mr. Shelby." I looked over at the larger man before plastering on a small smile.

"Hi." I said softly, he look me up and down before looking around the room.

"Mr. Shelby instructed that you take special care of Mr. Solomon tonight. " Madam hummed giving me a look, I nodded with a smile.

"Good girl." She says before glancing at the man as she walked out the door, I turned my gaze to the man as he sat his cane against the dresser.

"How long have you been fucking?" He asked looking at the tinklets on my dresser, I hesitated to speak not knowing if I should or he grow mad like tommy and do something to me.

"Come on don't be shy spit it out, girly." He huffed turning in my direction.

"Only a few months." I said looking at him, he nodded grunting as he took a seat on my bed. He massaged his knee grunting before unbutton his white shirt, I watched as he grabbed my pillow from beside him and put it behind as he moved to lay down putting his arm under his head.

"My knee is givin me 'rouble so you gonna 'ave to do mos' ov the work, girly." He says unbutton his trousers and taking out his cock, I nodded again reaching under my dress and pulling my panties down making them drop to my feet. I kicked them to the side and make my way to him, I sighed mentally before putting him in my mouth.

He was a bit bigger than tommy by length and girth which is good it means it won't hurt as much like the first time I did it, I looked up to see his eyes closed and him biting his bottom lip.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed under his breathe, his hand grabbed a fist full of my hair as he bobbed my head further as his cock it the back of my throat. I moaned around him feeling his cock twitch in my throat, I wiped the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand before going to straddle him.

His hands cralwed up to my upper arm sliding the straps from my dress off making my breast fall out, we made eye contact for millisecond before I glanced away down at his tatted chest. I rubbed his hard cock a few more times before rubbing his tip against my folds making me become wet, I grunt lowly slowly sliding my body down on his cock.

I closed my eyes as I started to ride him rolling my hips making him groan softly, I felt his hand slide up from my waist and grab hold of my breast rolling my nipple between his thumb and index finger well squeezing causing a moan to slip out. I stop my movement feeling his thumb rub against my clit, he smacked my ass making me tense at the weird new feeling that shot through me.

"Come on, love. I'm not paying ya to sit and look pretty. " He said gruffly, I gave him a shy apologetic look before moving again. His thumb went back to my clit making the feeling in my stomach tighten and pussy to get wetter, I bite the bottom of my lip moving my hands on to his board chest. His hand left my breast slide down back to my waist as he thrust hips into me making me whimper, he held tightly in my waist as we fall into a rhythm.

I was getting close and so was he, he moved his hand again between my breasts and towards my neck squeezing it lightly as he fuck into me a bit harder with his thumb still circling my sensitive clit. I couldn't help the small cry out as the orgasm vibrated through my whole body, he pulled me down by my neck as he kissed me sloppily well I still rocked my hips against his cock. His other hand moved from my clit to my ass squeezing it as he came inside me with a low groan.

I couldn't help but slumped against him with my breast flash against his chest, I could feel dick still inside me twitching. I slowly slide off of him sitting on the other side of my bed, I moved to put my straps back on my shoulder before glancing at him as he fixed his trousers and button up his shirt.

"Fuckin hell." He grunts rubbing his bad knee, I frowned softly at his pain remembering people I helped with the same problem.

"May I?" I asked, he looked over at me as I pointed at his knee.

"...knock yourself out." He said gruffly laying back down watching me closely, I moved at the of the bed facing him before digging my thumbs into his thighs massage the muscles. He grunted in pain before going reflex when my hands moved down to his knee carefully massaging the side to try ease the muscles.

"Does that feel better?" I asked still massaging his thigh.

"Yeah...where you learn to do that?" He asked curious, I looked up at him for a second before shrugging.

"France." He hummed before moving off the bed, he went over to the dresser to grab his hat and cane.

"I'll be back tomorrow." I suppress my surprise and nodded.

"Same time, Mr.Solomon?" He looked over at me before nodding.

He left a couple pounds on my dresser before tipping his hat toward me and walking out the room, I buried my face into the pillow as I brought my cover to my chest feeling exhausted. I sighed as my mind was too tired to think about anything, but my mind did slowly drift to the man who

I haven't seen tommy since our last encounter but I have been seeing the sweet brute name alfie around more often, the second time he came back I was sorta surprised he didn't want to have sex. Instead, he wanted me to do what I did the day before with his leg and he started up a conversation.

"What's your name?" He asked, I looked up well massaging his thigh.

"Whatever you want my name to be." He shook his head.

"I want your real name." I looked at him a bit taken back, I hesitate for a minute before telling him my name.

"That's a pretty name." He hummed leaning back watching me work on his calf.

I asked for his name feeling a bit confident and he told me his name was alfrie...not alfred he made it clear how much he dispised being called alfred...he told me I could just call him Mr. Solomon if I was more comfortable with that.

"Or daddy." He winked at me causing me to chuckled lowly before smiling at him.

"I'll keep that in mind."

That was our routine he would come in tell me what he wanted to do and we do it, and at the end he tell me he see me tomorrow. One night, alfie came back he asked me a peculiar question.

"How do a smart girl like yourself end up here..." alfie asked as he rubs my feet and vise versa, this is one of those times alfie stay a extra longer to talk with me. I wasn't hesitant to tell alfie anything anymore now that he consider me his friend.

"My half-brother owned a debt to arthur shelby, he couldn't pay it so he drove his car into the canal." I said flat, I barely knew him and when my father introduced us he didn't want anything to do with me unless he needed money.

"Did they find the body?" I nodded.

"Yeah, my dad called me to identify if it was him and it was..."

"Must have been hard for your family." I shrugged, my dad was the only one broken up by his son's death well everybody else knew he was manipulative thief.

"I can't found sympathy for the bastard who put me in a 2,400 dollar debt." I threw a quick smile to alfie before going blank, I could be finishing school getting a real career and making something of myself but I'm here getting fucked for money.

"2,400 isn't that much." Alfie mused looking off to the side, I looked back back at him with a look.

"maybe not you, Mr. Camden Gangster," I smirked making him laugh, "...but to us common folks it's a lot of fucking money." I could feel his hand wrapped around my ankle dragging me slightly from my spot, I looked at to see me giving me those "fuck me" eyes.

I moved from my spot and sat on his lap with both legs on either side so im straddling him, alfie lay his hands on my side looking at me.

"what if I pay your debt?" He mutters, I smiled down at him shaking my head.

"you dont have to–" He cut me off as his hand slide to my ass pinching it making me glare softly at him.

"why not, huh? I have the money if you worried about paying me back–" I kissed his lips stopping him from talking I didn't want to talk about it anymore the thought of leaving here felt like a pipe dream, my hand brushed against his cock feeling how hard felt beneath his trouser.

"looks like someone ready for round 4. " I giggled, my lips kissed down his neck before leaving love bites. Alfrie held my wrists with both hands making me grin at him.

"stop trying to distract me, luv." I sighed as he gave me a look.

"tommy told me the same thing a couple months ago, but he changed his mind saying my pussy was too good to let go." I furrowed my brows back then I thought it was vigor what he said, but now I'm kinda flattered.

"I can't argue with that but do you think I go back on my word like shelby?" He asked a bit offended.

"Can you blame me? I got dragged into something that had nothing to do with me." I rubbed my forehead with back of my hand.

"And now if I leave I won't have no place to go my father won't allow me back if he founds out what I been doing for the past year and half. I can't go back to school. I cant get a job. I'm stuck here debt or not." I closed my eyes to stop the tears from forming, I spent most of my days waiting for the day my debt would be clear. Now, I dread for that day to come knowing I have no home and no money to fed myself knowing I would come back crawling begging to be let back in.

"All I know is this life now, why not just accept it." I shrugged looking back at him I couldn't help but admire his tatted chest and move my fingers across his chest.

"Now, can we go back to what he were doing and forget you say me at my lowest." I joked trying to bring up the mood again, i didn't want ruin a nice mood.

Alfie gave me a small smirk nodding before pulling bsck for a kiss, he flipped me on my back now hovering over me.

"Alfie. Your knee.' I said worried.

"Don't worry it doesn't hurt much right now. Now turn on your side." He motion his head as I turned on my side facing the mirror in front of me, I heard shuffling with his pants. I laid my head on my arm waiting for him, I felt him placing kisses up and down my neck and shoulder before his hand came around and started rubbing my clit.

"aw, alfie." I moaned putting my leg bending my leg up giving him more access, alfie's cock played in my folds making me wet teasing me ever so slightly. He held my breast as he thrust into me causing me to moan out his name again, his other hand hook under my leg spreading me wider. My finger rubbed my clit as pleasure shoot through my body, alfie beard tickled my neck as he left wet kisses and bites marks.

He groaned feeling me clench around him, he pulled my hair to turned my hair before his tongue explore my mouth. The sweet tightness of pleasure building up in my stomach bust, my body vibrated against alfie as he continued to fuck me from behind soon coming inside me with a huff before kissing my shoulder.

That was week ago. I haven't seen or heard from him since, I didn't take it personally I kinda hoped he leave. I couldn't start falling for this man...alfie had responsibilities to his gang and to people who counted on him, we wouldn't work out he comes here to blow off steam from the underworld and to have me in his life 27/4 would just cause both of us to be unhappy.

I turned my head yawning opening my eyes, I see aflie sitting on the end if my bed with his cost and hat still on.

"Hey, you. What time is it?" I stretched out my legs and back before settling back in bed.

"10:30." He asked watching me, I frowned sitting up.

"Fuckin hell." I whispered to myself before looking back at him.

"Did you just get here?" He shook his head no.

"Got here at 9 to found you sleep."

"An hour and a half, alfie. Why didn't wake me up. " I groaned making him chuckled.

"You look pretty when your sleeping." I gave him a look.

"You were watching me sleep." He shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

"You my dear friend are a proper weirdo." I said moving over to him and kiss him on the cheek.

"Can you use a type writer?" He asked, I stopped midway putting my cover over my shoulder before nodding.

"Uhhh, yeah." A bit thrown off by the question, he nodded.

"Can you cook?"

"Yes."

"Can you do laundry?"

"Yes?"

" can you drive?"

"Yeah."

"Can you clean?"

"What is this? I feel like I'm being interview to be your wife." I giggled, I could see a slight blush come across his face.

"You didnt answer the question."

"Yes, alfie. I can clean. What is this about?" I asked smiling confused.

"I have a proposition for you." He said matter of factly with both hands on his cane.

"...okay." I said curious.

"You work for me as my secretary/assistant, and come stay with until you can get enough money to find a new place." He said, i looked at him with unbelievable expression.

"I cant just leave I still have to pay–"

"Already paid in full." He stood up, I stared into his eyes trying to figure why he doing this for me.

"No time to think. Just yes or no." I looked around my room before looking back at him.

"Yes."

The drive to alfie's home was not long as I looked outside at the buildings and the people walk to or from home, we finally pulled up to his home getting out.

Alfie pulled out his keys as I looked around to see some people out and about, I see a old couple giving me a look making me hold up my hand with a small smile.

"Oh, shit. I forgot to warn I have–" before alfie could finished his sentence a bark came from down the hall and a big dog rushed towards us.

I yelped as the heavy dog's paws pushed me into the door as it stand on its two feet sniffling me.

"Oi, Cyril. Get." Alfie tried to wave the dog away as he got down and started nudging my leg with his nose.

"Oh, what a cute baby." I smiled rubbing his head and snatching behind his ear, the dog, cyril, tail wagged as I scratched his stomach.

"You like dogs?" Alfie asked.

"Like? I love dogs. Oh, I can tell me and him are gonna be good friends." I smiled as the dog started to lick my face, I got up looking around the house before looking back at alfie to see him staring at me.

"Let me show you around." I nodded as he took me around the living room and the kitchen, we soon went up the stairs where he showed me the bathroom and my room. He pointed down the hall at his door.

"That's my room. If you need anything and i mean anything my door is always open." He said with a hint of a deviant glint in his eyes, I leaned closer to him smiling at him feeling his hand go to my hip.

"I'll keep that in mind." He smirked as I leaned in giving a heated kiss.

"I know it's your first night here, but why don't we get you settle in my bed for tonight." He asked huskily.

"I'm already liking it here." I grabbed his hand pulling him towards his room, he used one hand to unbutton his shirt before kicking the door close behind us.

Hi, could you write John shelby seeing his first love again after so many years. And you it be black reader. Thank you 💜

Hi could please write one for John shelby it doesn't really matter what it is. And could you make it a black reader.

Thank you ❤

Back Again

Requested by × @shyjellyfish1

John sat lumped in his chair as Thomas talked, his eyes bore around the room not really paying attention to his brother. His mind wondered to a memory that he been frequently visiting lately, one of his special memories of his sweet beauty.

John pulled his lover over to the ferris wheel, he looked over to see (y/n) glancing up at the wheel.

"What's wrong? Scared of heights." He grinned making (y/n) glare at him.

"Shut up, Jonathan." John scrowl at the mention of his full name, she knows how much he hates to be called it making it easy to get under his skin.

"Don't be lashing out on me, because you too much of a pussy–" She slapped the back of his head.

"Shut up. I'm not scared and I'm not a pussy." He glared at her rubbing his head as they took another step, she suddenly felt nauseous noticing they were almost to the front.

"I-I'm just a bit timorous." she gulp feeling a lump in her throat, John raised his eyebrow confused.

" Timorous?" she smiled faintly looking at him.

"A feeling of nervousness, fear, or lack of confidence." He looked awed nodding in understanding.

"Right, right, right." He says, John smirked glancing at (y/n) noticing his girlfriend was a bit at ease. One of the reason, (y/n) loved about John he could make her feel better without even trying.

"Next!" (y/n) felt her blood run cold as she glanced up at the wheel, john gave the tickets to the operator whispering something to him before turning to her and reaching for her hand.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. I'm right here." He whispered bringing her hand to his lips, she nodded before he helped her onto the car.

He slide right next to her as the operator closed the small door and locked the latched, John squeezed her hand caress her hand with his thumb. (Y/N) jolted moving closer to John making him smirk, she held his arm as the ride creaked.

"What was that?" She asked scared, he chuckled kissing her forehead.

"It's fine it just the machine, babe." She nodded quickly burying her face in his chest, they were on the top when the ride jerk to the stop causing (y/n) to looking around and look over the car.

"What the fuck just happend? Did this thing just break down?" She said freaking out, John chuckled with arm around her.

"It's fine, babe–."

"The fuck it is." She said looking down at the crowd forming.

"Babe. It's fine." He tried assuring her, the ride jerked again causing her to cling to him.

"oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." She repeated.

John looked over the car to see a crowd, before glancing at his girl.

" (Y/N). Your fine." He said again, (y/n)'s eyes were closed.

"If you say it's fine one more time I'm going to punch you in the fucking throat." She said through clenched teeth, she could hear him chuckled rubbing her back pulling her closer.

"It's beautiful tonight." He moved a strand of curl behind her ear making her open her eyes, she looked up starry night sky before looking over at John.

"Yeah, it is." She smiled up at him, he looked down at her with a smirk before leaning towards her pressing lips to hers.

John couldn't resist exploring her mouth tasting cotton candy and beer they had earlier, his hand squeezed her hips as his other hand went under her dress.

"Ever fucked on a ferris wheel before?" He mumbled against her lips, she moaned feeling his hand gazed her inner thigh.

"No, and I'm not gonna start today. " He pulled back face all red with a frown, (y/n) smiled pulling him back by his collar.

"But, I could do you one better for now." She purred, her hand rubbing his member through his pants causing him to moan and lean his head back making her kiss his neck.

The ride jerked again causing her to pull away and John to look annoyed, the wheel started moving again making people on the ride cheer. (Y/N) sighed in relief before looking over at John who wore a irritated look, she glanced at his pants as he shifted in his seat.

The wheel stopped making the operator open the door to the car, (y/n) stood not before feeling John's crotch against her back as they look for another ride to get on.

"You owe me a little something when we get back to the house." He whispered in her ear before tickling waist making her giggled.

"John? JOHN?" John looked up looking around the room before his eyes landed on Tommy.

"Wha." He looked boredly at Tommy making Arthur shook his head, well Tommy looked irrited at him.

"I said how are the numbers coming along." John sighed before telling him the rates and the money flowing through

"Alright." He said moving along to other business making John roll his eyes, after the meeting john went for a drive. He didn't feel like like going to the garrison for a drink or home for that matte, he wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

He was in London when he parked his car couple of blocks away from her shop, he would walk by it looking through the window trying to get a glimpse of her even for a second. It been couple of years since (y/n) left for paris for school that was two years before the war, after John got drafted he went looking for her when she stopped sending letters. He looked everywhere around her school and apartment she was staying with her roommates, and couldn't find her he believed she was died.

Until the war was over, a year later he found out that she somehow made it back to london. John wanted to go to her but he was different and he could tell that she was the same girl....the same beautiful woman he fall in love with and he didn't want to ruin that by coming back into her life.

He walked to her Cafè looking through the window and to see her counting money behind the cashier register, he hesitated for minute before walking through the door.

"I'll be right with you." I said hearing the bell ring, I finished counting the money and sitting it back in the register.

"Welcome to Heaven on Earth. The greatest bakery in West–" I stopped looking at John, he took off his cap.

"Hello, my love." John says walking closer to me, I stared stunned at him.

We stood there staring at each other for a moment before he spoke up again, "I know I should have come sooner, but I didn't want to intrude and–" I rushed around the counter and jumped into John's arm burning my face in his neck.

"shut up, dummy." I muttered feeling his arms wrapped around my waist, he kissed along my cheek before kissing my lips.

"I missed you." He mumbled against my lips.

"I missed you, too." He pulled away leaning his head against mines breathing heavy.

"I'm sorry...I'm so fucking sorry." John shook his head making me grab his face.

"You don't have to apologize, john. I understand why you did it..." he buried his head in my neck.

"I moved on...I was married...I had kids...fuck..." I could feel him shaking against my shoulder as he cries.

"I wish it was you...I wish they were yours."

"Oh, John. It's not like it's the end of the world, we have can do all of it." He looked at me.

"You still want to be with me?" I laughed nodding my head.

"There's nobody I rather be with than you. " He smiled pulling me in for another kiss.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, johnny."

Time After Time

requested × @paisholotus

I sighed moving around the room stepping over broken glass to get over to John passed out on our bed, my eyes glanced down at him before moving towards lizzy sleepy form. I nodded to myself before walking out of the room towards the hallway bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror surprised that I was so calm about this all. I don't know if I'm tired from it or I haven't registered what I just saw, either way that doesn't stop me from stomping back in the room and throwing a bucket of water on them.

"Oi, what the fuck." John shouted waking up looking around confused, lizzy gasped in surpised sitting up in bed drenched in water.

"Get out." I said calmly looking at lizzy, she looked over at John before crossing her arms and giving me a distasteful look.

"If he wants me to leave I leave." She said with a smug smile, I stepped closer making her smile drop and back up.

"Johnathan tell your whore to get out, before I throw her out this fucking window." I kept my eyes trained on her, she looked scared looking between me and John.

"Fuck off, Lizzy." He says tired not even casting a glance at her as he looked through his draws, she looked shocked at John.

"You heard him Elizabeth fuck off back to the gutters you belong." I said waving my hand shooing her away as she picked up her clothes and rushed passed me.

"Where the kids?" He asked litting a cigarette, I turned back to him with a blank look.

"With Mrs.Stone." I held the metal bucket in my hand still contemplating if I should throw it at his head or not, he hummed staring at me with a look of knowledgment something I barely see anymore.

"20 minutes." I said.

"What."

"I been gone for 20 minutes and all I asked was for you to look after the childern...just for a little bit..." i rest my free hand against my forehead feeling a headache coming on.

"They were running amuck I couldn't control them, you should known better to leave them alone with me." He snapped back, I laughed covering my face before looking back at him.

"I was gone for 20 fucking minutes." I launched the bucket at him causing to duck as the bucket crashed through the window.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" He shouted.

"You could have called anyone...your sister, polly, hell even fucking arthur." He ducked again as I threw a book resting on the vanity desk at him.

"For fuck sake–"

"But, NO you decided to get high and fuck lizzy fucking stark rather than watch your childern." He slammed me against the wall holding my wrist stopping from hitting him again.

"You need to calm the fuck down." He grits through his teeth his face red.

"Calm down!?!? Calm the fuck down!?!? How am I supposed to calm down when our daughter almost got hit by fucking car." I shouted at him, he looked taken back.

"W–W–What? Is she okay is she hurt?" I snatched my wrist out of his grip shoving pass him putting some distance between us.

"She's fine. I got her in time before the driver could could stop." I gulped remembering the fear that course through my body as I saw her run into the street after her ball, It felt like my world was about to shattered when I heard a car horned I was so grateful that I got there in time.

I felt a pair of hands squeezed my shoulder, "Baby, I'm so sorry I–" shrugged his hands off me.

"No, not this time. You can't apologize your way out of this you made your bed now fucking lay in it." I walked past him hearing him following behind me downstairs.

"What are you doing?" He asked as I gathered my bag from the couch, before turning to him.

"I may not be able to divorce you, but I can sure as hell get us away from you." I hissed turning towards the door, he pulled my arm causing me stop.

"Your not going anywhere neither are my kids." He growled.

"Call lizzie. I bet she be very happy to hear from you again." I stepped towards the front door turning the knob only for John to slam it back.

"Please..." he whispered wrapping his arms around my waist keeping from leaving, he rest his head on my shoulder pleading from not to leave him alone.

"I can't–I can't be here alone you know I can't please...I can't be left alone you know how me head play tricks." He begged hugging me from behind tighter, I couldn't resist leaning my body back against his warm skin. He left kisses on my neck and shoulder.

"...please...don't leave me." He whispered again, I closed my eyes trying to decide if I should stay or leave. I sighed deeply unwrapping his arms from around me, my original plan to leave sudden got thrown out knowing if I left John alone I might not like what I see when I come back.

"Go take a bath and change the sheets. I go get the kids and start on dinner" I sighed rubbing my eyebrow with the back of my hand, he gave me a small smile leaning in to kiss but dodge his lips as they landed on my cheek. I patted his bare chest leaving to receive the kids from the neighbors, they hurried out the old lady's house saying goodbye.

I picked up my baby girl as she sleep on the couch, i planted kissed on her face making her stir. I said my thank you's and goodbyes before heading back next door to deal with my little monsters, I walked in to found the boys and the girls in the living room either drawing or playing with their wooden cars. I locked the door and slide the bolt that the childern couldn't reach before walking up stairs to lay my baby down, I stayed with her for a moment before I left out thr room with the door wide open.

I peaked in my room to see the glass on the floor was gone and my bed covered with towels as steam came out of the bathroom, I walked down the stairs hearing the television from the living room. I sighed in relief knowing that would keep them busy until they realize its too quiet and start rasing hell, I walked around the kitchen grabbing ingredients as music plays from the radio.

I was almost finished mushing the potatos in the when I heard heavy footsteps come down the stairs, I set the bowel of bread down on the table before grabbing the pot of green beans and started scooping them onto our plates. I looked up to see John in a under shirt with suspender keeping his trousers up, he smiled at me taking a seat at the head of the table.

"Can you cut the meatloaf and separate them." I asked setting the meatloaf in front of him, he nodded making me walk out towards the living room.

"Mama." They complain at once as I shut off the tv set.

"Dinner's ready. If yall behave I let you have one more hour of tv and that's it." The all got up nodding heading towards the kitchen, I went up stairs to check on my little girl to found her just waking up.

"Hi, pudding. You hungry?" She yawned nodding rubbing her eyes, she blinked a couple of times before looking at me with her brown doe eyes. I smiled at her playing with her curls before kissing her brown skin.

"Ew, mama." She giggles as I kissed her chubby cheeks.

"Ew? You don't like mommy's kisses anymore." She shook her head as I picked her up off her bed and carried her out the room.

"Oh, man. I guess I have to find someone else to give my special kisses to now." I said sighing looking away from her in thought.

"...hmmm maybe baba would like my special kisses." I shrugged walking into the kitchen I walked over to her brother and sisters giving them a kiss on the head. Her brows furrowed in anger and her nose scrunched up.

"No." Her daughter snapped covering my mouth to stop me from giving out kisses.

"...mine special kisses." I laughed before giving her a couple kisses before setting her down down next to me.

"Dad?" John's oldest looks over at him in question.

"Yea."

"I was wondering if I can get a new bike, since Katie wants my old one." John swallowed his food and looked at me before looking at him.

"Yeah, sure. I take you tomorrow." John's son smile before going back eating his food.

"Can Katie and I get new dresses." John smiled shrugging.

"Sure. Maybe new shoes as well." Both girls smiled at each other excited about going new stuff.

"How about you, darling. Do you want something." He asked our daughter.

" I want a new doll." She says excited.

"Your wish is mine command." He smirked clapping his hands togther, I wanted to badly to go across this table and punch him.

"How about you, mama bear. How about a new set of diamond earrings." I gave him a tight smile before shaking my head.

"No, thank you. I'm fine." I says looking back down at my plate missing John's small frown, the phone ringed making him get up and answer it. I tried hearing him talk on the phone as the childern talk amount each other, after about a couple minutes of talking to whoever it was he hunged up.

He took a seat back glancing up at me for a quick second before continuing eating his meal, we all finally finished our dinner when I gave the childern pound cake for dessert. Katie and her brother watched over the younger ones as me and John clean the dishes.

"I'm going to leave soon. Tommy called a family meeting." I looked over at him with looked concerned.

"At this hour?" He nodded.

"He said it's important."

"Okay, do you know how long you be." He shake his head.

"Okay, I'll fix you a plate just in case you get hungry again." I said cleaning the last dish and heading over to the stove to make John a plate.

"Thank you." He said placing it on the counter.

"My offer still stands about the jewelry." I glanced at him with a look.

"I'm good, Johnny." He sighed moving closer towards me as I bumped into the counter near the sink as he pushed his body up against me.

"I'm really am sorry for what happened today." He said squeezing my waist.

"I know you are." which is why I know you do it again because you know I forgive you for you infidelity.

I leaned up kissing the corner of his mouth, "I love you." I whispered.

"I love you, too." He planted a kiss on my head, he grabbed his plate as I walked him towards the door, he gave a quick kiss on my cheek before heading towards his car.