Don't Be Shy, Give Someone A Wedgy They Have To Take Their Pants Off To Fix.
Don't be shy, give someone a wedgy they have to take their pants off to fix.
My husband: you're a monster
Me: el cucuy checks it's closet for me at night
More Posts from L0r3ll3
My husband and I seeing Star Wars: episode 1, the phantom menace
Him: the pod racing is gonna be super loud
Me: if the pod racing scene doesn't make you go deaf, have you even seen star wars episode 1 tpm
Took everything I had not to stand up and shout "Predator" when Padme met little Anakin
My husband confiscated my pocket movie snacks that I tried to smuggle in
Should've tucked a slim jim under my left tiddy, that way I could accuse him of going for my heart, mortal combat style if he reached for it
I was afraid sweat would cause it to fall out and then people would think I shit myself when they see the slim jim on the ground, it's little meaty eyes staring up at me in shock and audacity
Can I copy off your homework?
Sure, just don't make it too obvious🙄
My husband used to ask what was on my mind
I asked him why he doesn't do that anymore and he told me its because ive traumatized him
That I'm the reason the boogeyman checks under his bed and sleeps with a night light on
He was worried something was wrong and now he worries he will develop telepathy and be forced to check himself into a padded room
All I asked him was if he thought wet farts talked in cursive compared to regular farts
