Tolerate It

Tolerate It

Pairings: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Summary: How long can someone keep going when their love is being tolerated?

| Masterlist |

Part 2: Happiness

When had this become your life? When did you become the person that wake up and watch as the person you loved breathed with his eyes close, before faking falling asleep again as you feel him start moving to leave you once again?

You take a deep breath as soon as you hear the front door close, letting you know he left, before sitting up. You feel a weight in your chest, making the simple act of breathing hard. You close your eyes.

Breathe, you remind yourself. Inhale, exhale.

It’s not that hard. It shouldn’t be. It’s a necessity, something your body does on its own as a reflex just to stay alive. You shouldn’t have to remind yourself to do it. Why did you feel the need to remind yourself of it now?

How was it that you were still alive but barely breathing?

Shaking your head, you open your eyes. One last reminder to breathe: inhale, exhale. And then you’re up. Getting ready to start your day.

Alone.

You had a routine. You showered, dressed up, cooked your breakfast, clean the house, and then left to Jujutsu High where you help train the second years. It had been your life since you graduated that same place. Since you decided to make your life along Satoru’s.

Suddenly your food feels dry. Was the reminder of your current life what had taking its tastiness away? You didn’t know, but you truly didn’t wanna bother yourself by thinking about it.

With a sigh, you stand up for where you sat and went to place the dishes on the sink. You didn’t even have the strength to clean them, or to finish your routine whatsoever. So, grabbing your bag you leave the house, feeling as if one more second there would suffocate you.

Breath, you reminded yourself once again

You got to the school, promising yourself you would let this feeling go. But how could you let go of something when you didn’t even know where it had come from?

No. You were letting it go. It was messing you up too much.

“Sensei!”

Panda’s voice makes you snap out of your thoughts, a smile gracing your features as soon as you see your three students looking at you with excitement.

You felt your shoulders slumped in relief and a smile overtaking your beautiful features. Everything felt better once you could see your students, your kids, even when you felt the whole Yuta left. At least he tried to call you every week.

“Hey! Ready to start today’s training?”

You’re greeted with many excited nods, and soon you start the class. You feel your breath become lighter, easier, as the minutes you spend with them grow. There’s something that warms your heart every time you see them become stronger. You feel proud of them.

But then you feel the air around you drastically change and your whole body tenses.

You could recognize his curse energy anywhere.

An arm settles itself around your tensed shoulders, your smile dimming drastically as his loud voice greets your students happily.

Breathe.

“What a great sensei you are, sweets!” He smiles at you.

When was the last time he had smiled that brightly towards you? When was the last time you cared enough to want that smile directed to you? Was it months ago when you last waited for him by the door of your shred home, all dressed up with dinner ready, just to fall asleep on the couch and throw everything away the next day? Was it even before then, when you used to welcome him home after missions by jumping into his arms and proclaiming how much you had missed him?

When was the last time you had actually missed him?

The thought hits you like a truck. Knocking your breath away. Even going as far as making you take a step back, your knees faltering.

He doesn’t seem to notice the way your eyes widen or the way your hands shake, instead his smile grows. It’s as if he took your reaction as a positive one. But he couldn’t be farther away from the truth.

When was the last time you had missed him? Felt his absence?

Had you really become numb to it? To how many nights you’ve had to fall asleep alone, without his warmth beside you? To how many times you had been left waiting with a fancy dinner and his favorite dessert, only to throw it away the next day?

How many time had you had to wake up alone and cold after he left you? How many times had you tended to his every need just for him to brush it off without even a thank you? How many times had your ways of loving him been disregarded for you to not even do them anymore and it not be acknowledged?

Suddenly, you remember how to breathe. As if your body had finally found the reason for the burn in your lungs.

The ongoing conversation between your lover and your students becomes a white background noise as your vision blurs. The arm on your shoulders feels like a weight pulling you down as you try to swim towards the surface.

You had to be wrong. You had to have it all wrong.

Gojo Satoru was the love of your life. Had been since you were a teenager. It had been a friendship at first, but it had blossom into so much more. He had become the air you breathed everyday. In a world of grey he had been the color. Everybody had left you both, even Shoko who was still there with you wasn’t truly there, but him.

But… this would mean he had already left. Or maybe you already had.

No. You had to be wrong.

You looked at him with tears in your eyes, almost pleading for him to turn towards you and take all the weight in your chest away with his warm gaze.

But he didn’t turn away from your students.

For a week you analyze the sudden revelation, wanting it to not be true.

But, oh, how cruel could having hope truly be.

In that week you realized how absent Satoru truly was. How late he got into bed and how early he would leave. How many texts went unanswered and dinners were spent alone. How many I love you’s were missing.

When had been the last time you had proclaimed your love for the other? When was the last time you had eaten together? Cuddled and laughed until you both fell asleep together?

When was the last time you had ever been with each other?

But you refused to let yourself lose what you had with Satoru. You had lost too much already. But was it harder to adjust to his absence or to adjust your needs? Did you really deserve to feel as if all the love you had given him, still were giving him, was only being tolerate it by him? What it truly what you wanted to beg for the rest of your life for the footnotes in the story of his life?

You had to decide.

<< Y/N: I’m preparing your favorite dinner tonight. Including dessert!

Satoru: ooohhh! What’s the occasion?

Y/N: just because. You’re getting home early tonight, right?

Satoru: Yep! Almost done here. See you soon, sweets! >>

One last try. One last chance. That’s what you decided.

You love him. He was worth it.

You prepared a fancy dinner, set the table, put on his favorite dress you owned, did your hair and makeup. And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Your mascara felt sticky as it rolled down your cheeks with your tears. Every breath felt like it was suffocating you.

You checked your phone to find no messages on it. No excuse, no apology.

With all the strength you still had on you, you stoop up and went to get ready for bed. Not even bothering to clean up all your hard work.

You laid down on your bed, feeling all your strength leave your body as soon as your head rested on your pillow. You were tired. There was no more fight in you.

Your eyes closed and you fell asleep. Two hours later the door to your home opened, Satoru coming in with a bouquet of your favorites flowers and a guilty smile, only for his face to display agony as his sight goes to the cold dinner awaiting him.

He curses under his breath. Wishing every single one of those higher ups would disappear. He wasn’t ignorant to how many times he had failed you so far and, even if he hadn’t voice it yet, he was thankful for your patience.

Maybe he should tell you that.

He goes to your shared room, sighing in defeat as he sees your sleeping figure. Oh, how he wished he could’ve fallen asleep with you. How he wishes he could always wake up with you too.

He had to make it up for you.

For the first time in a long time, Satoru turns off his phone, determined to wake up with you in his arms the next morning.

Only for him to wake up alone.

Nobody could understand or comprehend the panic he felt in that moment. He had never sat up as fast as he did then. His racing heart calming down once the sound of the moving kitchen utensils reaches him.

He breathes a sigh of relief before standing up, going fast to the bathroom so he could join you sooner.

You’re truly a sight for his sore eyes. Already ready for the day as you make breakfast. His heart beats rapidly in his chest and a warm envelops his whole body. It doesn’t take him more than ten seconds to be hugging your waist from behind, hiding his face in the crooked of your neck.

He had missed this.

Except he felt you tense as soon as he enveloped you. His heart stopped. His smile faded.

“Good morning, sweets” he murmurs, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his chest.

You just had to greet him back and then he would know everything was okay. He just needed you to let him know everything was fine. He just needed you to take away this uncomfortable feeling that overcame him.

But instead you pulled away from his arms.

“Breakfast ready” you said without looking at him.

And then you turned away from him.

“Sweets?” No answer. He panics, “Y/N”

The air leaves his lungs when you turn towards him. Your gaze speaks volumes to him. You’re tired and he swears he feels like a dagger stabbed him in the chest, right through his heart.

“Sweets?” He whispers.

But your silence is enough to confirm your fears. He was too late in realizing he had to do something, say something.

How could he come back from this now?

Part 2????

Video 0.1

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next >

“… know how this works”

Thump. Thump.

“Pretty sure you’ll break it like that”

“Oh, shut up, Shoko!”

A groan. A male laughter.

“Have you checked if it’s on?”

“Of course I have! How stupid do you think I am?”

Silence.

“I need new friends”

Laughter. Three in total.

“ Y/N, look on the bright side, you’re smarter than Satoru!”

“Hey!” Calls out another voice, “I’ll let you know I’m ver—”

“AHA!”

The blackness fades from view, everything becoming a blur because of the sudden light. Then the focus is on a video game console in someone’s hands, a Digimon game being played on it.

‘G A M E O V E R’ is written on big red letters on the screen.

“Did you just record me losing?!” An indignant voice exclaims at a close distance.

“Hey! It’s not my fault I finally figured out how this thing works” the voice, your voice, behind the recording device calls out, “It’s not like you ever really win anyways”

“HEY!”

The camera is grabbed abruptly and moved towards the source of the sound, a shriek leaving your lips from the sudden motion.

A white haired handsome (really tall) teenage boy with pale skin and dark circular glasses comes to view.

“To whoever sees this in the future: I ALWAYS WIN”

“Oh, get over yourself, Satoru”

An arm settles itself on Satoru’s shoulders, a tall handsome teenage boy with dark hair styled in a bun and purple eyes joins the panorama.

The pair of boys that sorta remind people of the yin and yang, personality and physical characteristics wise, start to bicker with one another making you sigh.

You decide to turn the camera around in your hands so you can come into view, making sure to turn the screen towards you so you can see yourself as you record. You sigh with a slight roll of your eyes and a small smile.

“Ignore them” you voice, “Once they start there is no stopping them”

The volume of their voices growing seems to support your argument.

“Anyways, I’m Y/L/N Y/N. If things go out well then you probably are my future children, but you never really know as a Jujutsu sorcerer so…” you shrug your shoulders, “I bought this videocamera to record our daily lives so that someday we can look back and laugh once more at Satoru!”

“HEY!”

You hadn’t even noticed the bickering had stopped making you jumped in your place at Gojo’s loud voice.

A female laughter is heard close and soon a beautiful short haired brunette with a beauty mark on her left cheek comes to view, a small smirk adorning her features.

“Please make sure you gift me a copy of all his stupidest moments for my birthday”

“HEY!” Satoru calls once again.

Ignored once again too.

“Of course, Shoko” you smile at her before looking once more at the camera, “This is Ieiri Shoko, my best friend EVER”

The black haired boy joins your other side, smiling with mischief.

“Well, well, Y/N, now you’re breaking my heart” he sighs faking sadness, “I haven’t even been properly given some screen time by you yet”

You laugh, “Now, ladies, get ready to be mesmerized! Or horrified… This is the better half of the pair of idiots I also call my best friends, Geto Suguru”

“Ouch. Not sure if i should be offended or… forget it, I’m offended”

You roll your eyes but soon let out a shriek as you stumble forward, not falling because of the pair of arms holding your waist tightly from behind.

“I WANT AN INTRODUCTION TOO”

A sigh.

“Gojo Satoru, better known as the other half of the pair of idiots I call my best friends”

“Ajem” he fake coughs.

You ignore it.

“Ajem” you ignore it, “Ajem! AJEM”

Shoko and Suguru try to stifle their laughters as much as they can.

“What, Satoru?”

“You didn’t introduce me well!” He whines, “You had to mention how I’m the strongest sorcerer and how you’re madly in love with me!”

“EXCUSE ME?!”

The camera’s view changes dramatically as it is lowered abruptly, showing only the white converse with Digimon characters on the side and the black combat boots.

Until Shoko grabs the videocamera and focuses it on Suguru and her for a second, signaling for silence with their fingers to their mouths, before turning it to focus once again on you and Satoru.

You who’s reprimanding the white-haired sorcerer, and him who’s looking at you with an adorable smile on his face.

It would sure be a series of interesting recordings.

𝕷𝖚𝖐𝖊 𝕻𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓 ⌘

Masterlist ✞

𝑂𝑁𝐸 𝑆𝐻𝑂𝑇𝑆:

♪ One Step at a Time

♪ All I Want

♪ 140160 Hours

♪ I Think About You

♪ Your Biggest Fan

♪ It Kinda Makes Sense

𝑆𝐸𝑅𝐼𝐸𝑆:

♪ Not A Fan [Discontinued]:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

the sun was shining. the birds were chirping. yuji had an onigiri and some weird snacks with takada photocards (courtesy of todo’s weekly packages) right next to him.

life was good.

“mind if i join you guys?” yuji peeked an eye open from where he was leaning against the tree, breaking into a grin at the familiar voice.

gojo satoru was the strongest man on earth but yuji considers him the busiest too. he barely caught a glimpse of the white haired man nowadays and if he wants to spend time with him now, who was yuji to refuse?

nobara seemed to think otherwise though, “do you not have any friends?”

“of course i do!” gojo huffs, long legs somehow managing to manspread on grass, “but nanami is busy managing my taxes and suguru has a spa day with the twins. so i decided to check up on my favourite students.”

yuji gives him a bright smile, “we’re your favourite?!”

“of course!” he ruffles the boy’s hair before leaning back, “where’s megumi?”

“he’s getting his lunch,” yuji says, “wait, do you get food from here too or do you cook?” that’s a sight he’s never imagined.

“sensei? and cooking?” nobara bursts out in laughter before she abruptly pauses. “wait, do you though?”

“i used to until my wife banned me from the kitchen when the smoke alarm went off.”

“what were you cooking?”

“boiling water.”

the duo blinks in confusion before gojo pulls out some cover with a cheerful “let’s eat!” he uncovers it to a bento and steam wafts into their faces. when the delicious scent clears, the duo’s mouths water at the sight, looking as pretty as it probably tastes.

“aw, look! my son drew a picture,” satoru picks up the sticky note of three stick figures, showing it off with a pride that shouldn’t exist at the clear absence of artistic skills in the family.

“there’s a note too,” nobara squints at the handwriting, “for my favourite menace to society. p.s. get milk from the store or have all your white laundry turn to pink <3”

“ahh, true love.”

yuji and nobara share a side glance. should he be sounding that gleeful?

thankfully, they don’t have time to ruminate over gojo’s masochistic love life as he waves over megumi.

megumi sighs and sits down next to the trio with a defeated face when he realises that his attempt to go unnoticed from the white haired sorcerer failed. why does the most irritating person in the world have to have six eyes?

“so, megumi, have you looked at my lunch tod—”

gojo’s attempt at bragging gets cut off with a gasp when megumi opens his own bento. a smiley was drawn on with ketchup on the mouth-watering omurice, rice decorated like a panda and juicy fruits cut up into various shapes. but what took everyone by surprise was the note he lifted up.

hope you enjoy the lunch! i made enough to share with your friends. remember to take breaks and stay hydrated <3

megumi’s face has a small, pleasant smile plastered on while gojo gapes, looking at the bento like it’s a ticking time bomb. yuji rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and nobara bursts into cackles at the sight.

“seems like you’re not your wife’s favourite after all, sensei.”

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Haibara Yu was sweet. He was an innocent teenage boy, barely seventeen. One that wanted more than anything to help everyone he could, to save everyone.

So, how come no one saved him?

You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs and yet you couldn’t, not when you felt your throat close itself up. Not when breathing itself was proving a hard task to do.

Your baby brother was dead. Gone.

And it was all their fault.

You break free from Mei Mei’s arms, hating the way her once warm touch burned you now. She was one of them, she’d always be one of them as long as money was involved.

“Y/N/N?”

You ignore her soft call and keep walking, you wanted to get as far away from that school as you could. You couldn’t be there any longer, not after what happened.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Y/L/N” you halt, annoyance burning inside you, “How are you doing in this fine day?”

Fine day?

Without thinking, you turn in your heel faster than ever, hand outstretched as one of your grade 3 curses appeared ready to attack the blue-eyed sorcerer.

Gojo wasn’t expecting it by the widening of his eyes, but nevertheless the curse didn’t even get to breathe near him.

“HEY! What was that for?” He screams, annoyed.

“FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE!”

Gojo frowns, not truly understanding what you mean. He had just come back from a mission after all, but the sadness in your eyes stops him from asking more.

You were hurt. He wasn’t used to seeing you hurt. Not you with your witty comebacks and your usual roll of pretty E/C eyes every time he tried to stop you from training with Suguru. This was a different side of you, one he didn’t think he’d ever see.

And one that hurt him to see. No matter how much you two fought each other, he still considered you a friend.

“Hey… are you okay?”

Groaning in frustration, you turn around to leave without answering. You weren’t in the mood to have another of your childish fights with Satoru Gojo.

Not when you had just seen your brother’s pale face, his once bright eyes now lifeless. Not when you felt how cold the hand that once held yours tightly felt. What did it matter if you were a grade 1 when you couldn’t even be there to protect the one who truly mattered to you? What was the point of being strong then?

< Let’s always do the best we can, sis! >

Your knees wobble and soon meet the grass under them. When had you even come outside?

“You okay?”

Your hands are pulled from your ears, you hadn’t even noticed you had moved them to stop the noise inside your head.

“Geto?”

“I’m sorry about your brother” he softly states, “I really am”

You sigh and stay quiet. You don’t really know what to say to that. You appreciate he’s sincerity, yet can’t find it in yourself to care much about it. Not when the person you loved the most is gone.

“We should train together” he continues making you frown, “you look like you need to let go of some steam”

Your frown slowly disappears as you find truth in his words, there is nothing you want more now than beating the crap out of something or someone.

So, you stand up and allow him to guide you.

The first time of many in which you would follow him. And that was proven in September of 2009 when you were both assigned to a mission to exorcise a curse spirit thought to be the deaths and disappearances in a small village.

Yet as soon as you both arrived, you were guided to a secluded room. A secluded room that had a prison where two little girls, beaten up, were locked.

Your hands start shaking as you hear the explanation of the ignorant lot.

Suguru’s hand grabs your own, stopping it from shaking. One look, that’s all you needed to accept whatever fate laid in your future. His eyes were a dead giveaway of what he was about to do, and you’d follow him.

You had never stopped following him since Haibara’s death, and you wouldn’t stop now.

“Hey, you guys” Suguru calls out to them, “Come outside with me for a second”

He lets go of your hand and you let him.

As soon as the door closed behind him and the screams start, you destroy the lock on the door and grab the girls’ hands in yours.

Giving them the sweetest smile you could muster with the anger burning through you, you try to transmit your warmth to them. You wanted them to know they were safe.

“You don’t have to worry anymore, okay girls? It’s gonna be over soon” you smile “Everything will be better from now on, just trust him”

“Him?” One of them, the brunette, ask softly.

“His name is Geto Suguru” you explain, “he’ll keep you safe, we both will. He’s someone worth having faith in”

Unlike everybody else in the Jujutsu society, you think. Unlike Satoru Gojo.

You had never truly hated the white haired guy, not really. He was childish and annoying, yes, but he was also someone with the weight of the world on his shoulders. So you never hated him. You even thought you were kind of friends in a rivalry-kind-of-way.

But then your brother died. And Gojo didn’t care.

So he was no longer someone you relied on to have your back when needed. He was just another puppet controlled by the elders, nothing else.

“You promise?” The blonde one weakly asks.

“I swear” you answer, “You two are not stuck with me forever”

“Like best friends?” The brunette asks; hope shining in her eyes.

“I’d need your names first”

“I’m Hasaba Nanako” the blonde answer, “This is my sister, Mimiko”

“Nice to meet you, girls. I’m Y/L/N Y/N…”

Your voice falters as you hear the door behind you open, the familiar curse energy warming your heart.

Geto’s hand rests on your shoulders. You side eye him, rolling your eyes as you see the blood smeared on his white shirt.

“And I’m Geto Suguru” he smiles, eyes crinkling, “What you girls think about getting out of here and leaving these monkeys behind?”

Even though his sight is set on the girls, the tightening of his hand on your shoulder lets you know he is asking you too.

He is letting you know you can turn around. He is giving you a choice to leave him behind and go back.

“If the girls are down, then I’m too” you wink at the girls, “We’re best friends after all”

The girls giggle happily and soon you’re both carrying one of them, not looking back as you decide to leave the world you’d always known behind.

Leaving the world you’d always known as a sorcerer behind. The world your brother never stopped fighting for. The world that killed him.

And, geez, was it worth it as you stared at the family you were now building.

Unfortunately, Gojo was right? Everybody did forget about him...there's no mention of him anywhere to the lead up of 271 and even when there was a single mention about him it wasn't about anything grand he has done or how funny of a man he was ...it was all simply as to what he has done in the fight against sukuna

So him asking yuuji to please remember him for he also has dreams and love as well is so ..

Depressing

I would never stop saying this, but he deserved better