I Laughed So Fucking Hard At This

I laughed so fucking hard at this

Arthur “I’ve only had Rory for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself” Kenzie and Rory “I’ll seduce you with my italian vocabulary” Brodigan

“Spellbound” by Allie Therin

Yeah yeah Garak is an intensely selfless person who has as strong a sense of nobility as any character I’ve seen and I wonder daily what he could have accomplished if Enabrain Tain wasn’t his father and if the nation he was born into wasn’t rotten to its core and ready to pass its poison onto him. What’s it to you?

On the topic of humans being everyone’s favorite Intergalactic versions  of Gonzo the Great: Come on you guys, I’ve seen all the hilarious additions to my “humans are the friendly ones” post. We’re basically Steve Irwin meets Gonzo from the Muppets at this point. I love it. 

But what if certain species of aliens have Rules for dealing with humans?

Don’t eat their food. If human food passes your lips/beak/membrane/other way of ingesting nutrients, you will never be satisfied with your ration bars again.

Don’t tell them your name. Humans can find you again once they know your name and this can be either life-saving or the absolute worst thing that could happen to you, depending on whether or not they favor you. Better to be on the safe side.

Winning a human’s favor will ensure that a great deal of luck is on your side, but if you anger them, they are wholly capable of wiping out everything you ever cared about. Do not anger them.

If you must anger them, carry a cage of X’arvizian bloodflies with you, for they resemble Earth mo-skee-toes and the human will avoid them.

This does not always work. Have a last will and testament ready.

Do not let them take you anywhere on your planet that you cannot fly a ship from. Beings who are spirited away to the human kingdom of Aria Fiv-Ti Won rarely return, and those that do are never quite the same.

Basically, humans are like the Fair Folk to some aliens and half of them are scared to death and the others are like alien teenagers who are like “I dare you to ask a human to take you to Earth”.

Hahahah this is such a great depiction of that scene.

Arthur “I’ve only had Rory for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself” Kenzie and Rory “I’ll seduce you with my italian vocabulary” Brodigan

“Spellbound” by Allie Therin