This Is Highly Important Information!

This is highly important information!

Thinking about programming my key fob to say this when I click the lock and unlock button.

I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off

Maybe I am a kobold?

If you tell some kobolds to hold the line they won't give it back.

Is there like a store where I can get them, or do I have to hunt them down like one might with mozzarella sticks?

It's dangerous to go alone, so you should take at least a dozen kobolds for company.

Dnd character idea. A human lore bard who is a used cart salesman. Hr can tell you everything about this history of a cart, who their owners were, and how many miles each cart has traveled. However, all of his car facts are lies! He's really a shyster trying to sell you lemons. He just uses the friends catrip and other enchantment spells to trick you into making deals before he leaves town. Then, if he ever gets caught, he blasts his way out wirh Eldritch Blast (either taken with multiclassing into archfey warlock or taking the magic initiate feat). He is, Mr. Breezy Keen.

So I was getting ready to let my students in for early morning extra help and this one 11 year old walked in with a limp. I asked them what's wrong. They asked me not to tell their parents and pointed to their ankle. It's swollen to the size of a golfball and I'm immediately dragging them to the nurse. Great way to start a morning. I love kids but dam do they have zero self preservation instinct.