[3] Expendable Hearts (Levi X F!Reader)

[3] Expendable Hearts (Levi x F!Reader)

Chapter 3: Ten Things I Hate About You

WC: 7,455 Chapter Warnings: flashback, drinking, college sassy levi, fluff? Summary: Everyone in Levi's life knows he only ever dated one girl and that she left him wrecked, bitter, and heartbroken. Many years later, she's back in his life and he doesn't know what to do. Note: Let's all pretend the update didn't take a year. I think this chapter can be read as a stand alone if you want to read college Levi. ^^

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You had a plan. 

College means endless possibilities. College means that you’re free from your family. College means that you can finally focus on yourself. College means that you could finally make friends. To set this plan of making lifelong friendships in motion, you figured that the first step was to attend an actual party. A messy party with booze, beer pong, and unsupervised new adults like the ones you see in movies. The thought of  it was enough to make you feel uneasy and dizzy enough to actually vomit before even stepping a foot inside the horrible place. But hey, it wouldn’t be so bad, right? 

You’re in the middle of drinking (or at least pretending to) with a few fellow freshmen girls you met. They looked pretty. Really pretty. With luscious hair, long lashes, and glossy lips that were in contrast to the extent of how much you could fix yourself with a brush, a lip and cheek tint, and an eyebrow pencil. 

You weren’t really following the conversation very much, just chiming in with a few words and chuckle here and there. They were talking about boys, a topic you were not excited for. You’re only here to make friends, you can’t fathom jumping to getting acquainted to testosterone-filled human beings so soon. That hasn't even crossed your mind. 

A call to your name snapped you out of your worries. Your heart beats faster. Oh shit. They were gonna ask you something. Your relationship history, maybe? It’s fine. You can just say you haven’t dated anyone. It won’t be weird. A lot of people actually stay single throughout high school. So what if you’re a virgin? That’s a social construct. It’s fine. Yeah. Just act chill.

“What about you? What’s your type?” 

Oh. 

You chuckled awkwardly, eyes frantic and you held your canned beer tighter. You didn’t expect that question. This entire situation is beginning to feel like a job interview. Fuck. What is your type? Even you yourself don’t know that. Fuck. They’d find me weird if I say I don’t know or I haven’t thought about it, right? 

You look around, looking at the men to decide right then and there what attracts you the most. 

For fuck’s sake, just pick anything or anyone, you tell yourself. 

And then you spot someone familiar. He’s standing against the wall, holding a cup to his chest, chatting with a guy much taller than him. From the looks of it, he isn’t enjoying the party that much. He was probably dragged along into it. 

For reasons you don’t even know yourself, you panic and point to the steel-eyed man with the undercut. 

“Him,” you raise your voice a little to make them hear you beyond the booming top hits music. 

Levi Ackerman. 

He was from your highschool. A famous slacker with high grades. Well, not as high as yours but given his misdemeanor and laziness, it’s actually commendable how he got into this university. You don’t actually like him like that. You barely even spoke to him. Just call it a moment of weakness—you panicked and pointed to the first familiar person you saw and that was him. 

“Hm. He’s hot. A little on the shorter side but very hot.” One of the girls nodded and winked at you. You chuckled as a response and chugged down your beer in frustration. The alcoholic drink is bitter on your tongue. You don’t like it very much and you don’t understand the hype around the bitter drink but due to the lie you just spat out, you couldn’t help but feel thirsty. 

Feeling someone’s eyes burning holes behind your head, you turned your head back in Levi’s direction. He was looking at you and your companions. From the looks of it, he had heard what your conversation was about. He pushed himself off the wall and you wondered what he’d do. Maybe he’d walk over to you and confront you about it? 

Well, he didn’t do that. Instead, he did the most ridiculous thing. 

Levi, that motherfucker, flipped you off and intentionally walked out of your sight with a pointed glare.

Fortunately, your potential friends didn’t see, having been too caught up in their next topic that you weren’t able to follow. Your mouth gaped open, shocked and offended at Levi’s reaction. A wave of embarrassment runs through you. Did you just get harshly rejected by that asshole? Was he like this to everyone who he hears has a crush on him? No wonder you didn’t hear anything about him dating back in high school. What an arrogant prick. 

The rest of the first semester of University was easily spent out of the sight of the steel-eyed man. The university was big enough for the two of you not to cross paths. It wasn’t until you found a job in the middle of the semester as a server in a restaurant in Paradis that fate decided that Levi was to be thrusted into your life again. 

Kuchel’s used to be a small restaurant famous in Paradis City.

Kuchel, the kind woman who owns it, was kind enough to hire you and treat you like her daughter. The work was tasking but it paid you enough to live well. Your grandmother’s savings could only take you so far and you had food, school supplies, and commute fees to worry about. Yes, you still lived with your grandmother. That was a choice. Your stupid father up and went when you started high school, disappearing to god knows where, leaving you in your grandmother’s care. Your grandmother was living well enough, not quite rich but had enough to be living in a small house in Paradis. She’s lived here all her life, generations of your family owning that lot and home. Even if she insisted that you try out the dorms, you still wanted to check up on her and just commute every day. 

You loved your grandmother’s food but holy shit… Kuchel is amazing. Her food is to die for. A lot of big people in Paradis would come by and give pretty good tips. 

The first time you saw Levi there, he greeted you with an insult to your cleaning. 

“So, you’re the new hire. Ma should be thinking twice before hiring incompetent college students.” He said. He glanced under the counter of the cashier where you just finished cleaning, swiping his two fingers there. He then frowned at the thin layer of dust that coated the pad of his fingers, showing them to you after. 

You froze by the doorway of the supply room but not because of his disappointment or his unprovoked insult. He had always been rude to you for some reason. You don’t know why and it bothered you to the core for some reason. 

“Levi Ackerman,” you nod at him, intentionally ignoring his words. You got back to working, doing inventory of the supplies like you’re supposed to. 

He states your name back and you were a bit surprised he knew it. You guessed it was because you were always top of the class. Still, he has a good memory, doesn’t he? 

“You should know how to clean better.” He retracted back to his opening statement. You huffed, eyes only on your checklist. 

“Duly noted, Ackerman,” you replied impassively, not sparing him another glance. 

He didn’t reply after that, leaving to greet his mother inside the small staff room. His mother had warned you about this happening. She said Levi is unbelievably strict about cleanliness and if he ever comes by, he will definitely have something to say about your cleaning. You can get past him calling out your cleaning skills but to call you an incompetent college student? That’s just below the belt. 

To make it short, the first few interactions you had with Levi Ackerman didn’t set you two up for friendship, much less a relationship.

It was only when you met Hange Zoe, the star-eyed girl from the Science department who often stopped by Kuchel’s to eat dinner. She’s one of your classmates in Philosophy class that would ask the most ridiculous (but valid) questions to the professor that never fails to make the class either curious or laugh. 

Hange Zoe was a curious delight and you were only thankful that being friends with her only mainly requires listening to whatever she was working on at the moment. And you did… most of the time. What can you say? You were a good listener. In a short amount of time, you found yourself gravitating next to her more than the other people you were hanging out with. Hange just made you feel safe and content. The others were nice but with others, you felt like you were always on your toes, just constantly adjusting your personality to relate with them. 

Hange began to have dinner with you during your break at Kuchel’s and if you two had time after, you’d study together too. Unlike you, Hange comes from a province with dreams of being a biologist. You never would’ve guessed as she seemed to be more adapted to city life than you who lived there all your life. When you told her that, she told you that she would often travel to  see some few friends here way before college started. 

Imagine your shock when the said friends dropped by one night at the restaurant.

Levi Ackerman and Erwin Smith sat in front of you at a booth one night, the former scowling at the confirmation that the girl Hange was meeting every night in his mother’s restaurant was indeed the annoying new hire. When Hange sensed the tension, she immediately nudged you and motioned to the two of you.

“Do you two know each other?” Hange asked, raising a brow excitedly. 

Levi scoffs, as if offended. “No.”

“Yes,” you reply at the same time as him. 

The tension only grew, the two of you glaring at each other like there were no other people sitting in your booth. There was no other person that ticked you off like the boy who had a perpetual scowl on his face. You still didn’t know why he’s so pissed at you since that incident at the party. Was it because your companions called him short? That wasn’t your fault. And it was kind of true, anyway. Not that you would say that to his face. His height, or anyone’s height, is the least of your concerns.

Smirking, you continued to piss him off. “He’s my crush.” 

Hange gasped and Erwin, the tall blonde stranger, stared at Levi in amusement. 

“Shut up.” Levi almost raised his voice in a rush to shush you. His face became red at his friends’ stare as he sent a dagger to your face while leaning a little bit, making you softly get out a short laugh.

“I’m kidding. Not anymore. He rejected me.” You tease him further, spewing some half-truths to keep them intrigued. 

“What? Levi!” Hange reached over to smack his arm lightly. Erwin was laughing now, shaking his head. Even in amusement, you realize poise is instilled in him.

“I said shut up,” Levi repeated, an embarrassed blush tinting his cheeks as he crossed his arms. “Tsk,” he adds, looking away from you.

You shrug. “Well, it’s fine. Really,” you tell the other two at the table. Levi grunted and turned his head to the side, muttering something inaudible to anyone. You paid it no mind, wanting to chat up the other guy at the table. 

“So, Erwin,” you change the topic to learn more about the blonde who had an incredibly straight posture. Seriously, the moment he sat down, towering over you even when seated, your body felt the urge to snap your spine into a straight line and correct your irreparable slouching.

With one question, you had Erwin talking about his academics and achievements. You were instantly captured by how he presents himself. He’s everything you wanted to be. Confident, smart, and approachable. You couldn’t help but be like a moth drawn to a flame. You wanted to know more about him. You wanted to be just like him. 

Before you knew it, the dinners with Hange and her best friends included lunches too. Then, it extended to hang outs in and outside campus. Eventually, the four of you were inseparable. The newest member of the university-wide student council, the crazy biology student, the short handsome grumpy campus crush, and you. 

“Levi!” Hange hollered, skipping while hand in hand with you.

“Babe!” You waved at Levi who was already scowling at the sight of you two. The crush thing eventually became an inside joke in your friend group with you constantly flirting with Levi in hopes of seeing his flushed but annoyed face. 

The university Christmas celebration is an end-of-the-semester celebration. It’s a tradition that the school is famous for. The hottest artists in the country are invited, booths of food and stores are invited in, and the best thing? It’s exclusive to the students and alumni of Paradis University only. 

The first Christmas festival at Paradis University, you spent it with your new friend group. 

When the two of you reached the pair, Erwin wrapped his arms around you in a friendly manner when he greeted you while Hange forced Levi into a hug. You don’t do the same. Only Hange can do that to Levi because literally no one can stop the girl. You give Levi a nod when you pull away from Erwin’s hug. 

“Hey, babe. Looking good.” You greeted Levi while your eyes went over his outfit. He wore a long sleeved turtle neck, a gray flannel, and slacks. 

“Tch.” He looks away uncomfortably, pink tinting his cheeks and the tip of his nose caused by the cold and your teasing.

The festival was as fun as the upperclassmen said it would be. You tried the fake tattoos, the snacks, and even got glow sticks as bracelets. (Hange had to force the bracelet on Levi’s wrists.)

As the night fell, the four of you were cramped with the other students in front of the stage because Hange insisted that she just had to see her favorite band nearby, much to Levi’s protests. 

You could easily be relaxing on a picnic mat still on the field but a little further away from the stage. Instead, you and Levi are squished together, no space between the two of you as the most awaited local pop band starts their set. Erwin and Hange were somewhere in front of the two of you, the taller two of your friend group probably had worked their way to the front of the crowd much easier. They unintentionally left you and Levi together amidst Hange’s effort to push herself through the crowd while using Erwin as a blocking sled. 

Somewhere at the start of the set, you notice Levi’s irritation. He isn’t really enjoying the lack of space. A little bit concerned, you leaned over to his ear. 

“Hey! You alright?” You asked, raising your voice so he could hear you over the booming music of the speakers. He turns his head, flinching to find your face so close to his but he calms immediately. 

“I’m fine,” he responds though his nostrils are flaring and his eyes are frantic, looking around the crowd. The rock band was starting to play their best streamed song and before they did, they asked the people to jump to the music when they asked to. 

You looked around, there was more crowd coming and you were near the stage already. Leaving now would be impossible. 

“Loosen up! It’s gonna be fine,” you tell him so he could relax. It was simple advice from a friend to a friend, if that’s what you two even are. 

Without thinking too much about it, you grabbed Levi’s hand. “Hey! Jump with me so we won’t lose each other.” You tell him, closing your fingers around his palm. He stares at you with wide eyes but the crowd screamed, distracting you to look at the stage before you can say anything else. 

He didn’t protest and clasped his hand around yours too. As the chorus part of the song came on, you found yourself jumping with the crowd while holding Levi’s hand. It was a fun mess. You haven’t had fun like that ever. You moved with the crowd, not even minding that Levi wasn’t jumping with you. 

In the back of your mind, you feared that you’ve gone too far by holding his hand. But you were having too much fun and if he didn’t want to, he could easily let your hand go. Besides that worry, there’s also this warmth creeping from your stomach to your cheeks as you raved with the crowd, singing along to the song. You couldn’t look at Levi. You don’t know why. You spared him a few glances but he was only staring ahead, a small smile on his face. He doesn’t seem to be as uncomfortable as earlier. 

When the band finished the song, the adrenaline dwindled down and you were heaving. You laughed and finally worked up the courage to look at your companion to check on him, your hands still clasped together. Just as you turned your head, ironically, the band started playing their famous slow love song and as the first line of the lyrics dropped, your eyes landed on him. 

He was already looking at you. 

His stare held yours in place, making you freeze in time. 

Side by side, you stand next to each other. The first thing you noticed is how his silver eyes sparkled under the moonlight and the glowing lights. The next thing is how his face uncharacteristically softened and relaxed, the creases on his forehead were absent and his mouth was no longer pressed into a thin line. Instead, his pink lips were slightly parted. 

Everyone around you seemed to blur. The loud music from the speakers was drowned out in your brain. You could only stare at him. It’s as if you two are actually seeing each other for the first time. And you are. 

Your cheeks heaten up as the weird feeling in your stomach is something you finally identify as butterflies. 

“Y-you okay?” You leaned to his ear as you were finally able to gather yourself. 

When you look back into his eyes, he doesn’t say anything. He only nodded, clearing his throat and looked back at the stage. 

As the band continued their set, he never let go of your hand. You didn’t either. Even when the band moved on to their livelier songs, you moved with the crowd with Levi still holding your hand. Even when the crowd loosened up, the two of you never moved away from each other, keeping the small distance between the two of you.

When the set of the band came to an end, Hange and Erwin quickly found you two. And as if there was a gravitational pull, it was like the two of you never shared an odd moment of intimacy. 

Glancing at Levi as Hange spoke about how the lead vocalist shook her hand, you take a glance at Levi who was doing anything to avoid your eyes. He’s looking around again. Probably to see if he can squeeze his way out of the crowd now. 

“Oh—oh! There you two are! We should take a picture!” Hange jumps in excitement, not even noticing the tension between the two of you. She had already put up her camera, waiting for the three of you to pose. 

You looked up and threw up a peace sign, smiling sweetly. Hange was in front, holding up the camera. Erwin was behind her a little. To compress, you shift closer next to Levi who was next to Erwin. When Hange was one second away from clicking, Erwin took it upon himself to wrap his humongous arm around the two of you, his hand landing on your shoulder and pulling you even closer to Levi, making your face squish to Levi’s. 

As the picture clicked, Levi wasn’t subtle with his protests, his palm pushing up Erwin’s chin to push him away and letting the two of you go. 

“Nobody cares about fucking personal space out here,” he muttered. You only chuckled, looking over Hange’s shoulder to see the picture. 

The picture that came out was funny. Levi was clearly uncomfortable with how your cheeks are squished together. He was in the middle of cringing, face scrunched up in disgust. On the other hand, your eyes are wide in surprise and about to gasp. Hange and Erwin were grinning wide and unbothered. You liked it but you wouldn’t admit that.

“What the hell. Let’s take another one! I look like shit,” you complained. 

You took another one with the four of you. This time, it was simple. Erwin held up the camera, making the angle much further than the last. There was no need to squeeze together. (Not like there was a need earlier. Erwin’s just a dick.)

“That’s better,” you say. You can’t wait to show it to your grandmother. 

“Yeah, only if someone would wipe that frown from his face.” Hange side-eyed Levi. 

And then an idea popped into your head. You can take pictures with them individually. That would be fun to show to your grandma. She’s been dying to get to know your friends.

“Hange, we should take a picture!” You ask her and Hange squealed a yes, pushing Erwin to take the picture for you who happily obliged, even holding up Hange’s camera like a father with both hands on the horizontally angled device, leaning forward with his ass in the air. 

Hange put her arms around you and you did the same. You pressed the side of your foreheads together. With your free hands, you both put up a thumbs up. Then a heart. Then a peace sign. 

After multiple pictures with Hange, you asked for one with Erwin too. The taller man put his arm around your shoulder and you slid your arm around his waist. As you successfully dragged the two to a picture with you, your eyes shifted to Levi who was watching by the side. You give him a look.

“Fuck no.” Levi told you, moving away when you got closer to him.

You frowned, grabbing his arm to pull him back. “Come on! Consider it my Christmas gift from you.” 

“I wasn’t planning on giving you anything,” he grumbled. 

Hange was already ready to take the picture. Realizing it’s better to be over with it before Levi runs away again, you posed. You don’t put your arms around him or pull him closer, afraid that he might not appreciate the lack of personal space. Instead, you decided to stick with smiling and forming half a heart with your hand. Levi doesn’t complete it, of course. He crossed his arms, glaring at the camera when it clicked. 

That photo was the first photo you had with Levi Ackerman. And that same photo was framed and is now somewhere in a box that’s hidden deep in your closet. 

As you get ready for work the next morning, you stare at the stack of boxes in your closet. Right at the bottom of it lies a memory lane you haven’t traveled in forever. You couldn’t. Not anymore. 

With a heaving sigh, you close your closet door and head over to work. 

Work was okay enough. You can definitely see yourself working with ODM for a long time. If you can patch things up with Levi, maybe you can accept the regularization offer without any guilt. If that doesn’t happen, you can just ignore each other or go back to Trost. You’re sure you can work something out to have Vanessa accept you again. 

You do not like Levi Ackerman. 

How could you? He’s grumpy. He’s rude. He’s lazy unless he’s cleaning. He doesn’t have any dreams. How could you like someone like him? 

However, ever since you got home after the christmas university event, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. You couldn’t stop thinking about how he looked under the moonlight. The way it hit his gray eyes and how his cheeks looked so soft. You couldn’t stop thinking about him and how the two of you never spoke about that moment you shared back there. There was definitely something different in the air that night. Yeah. That must be it. It was probably the lack of space and oxygen that made you believe the funny feeling in your stomach are butterflies. 

So, no, you do not like Levi Ackerman. Not like that anyway. Maybe you’re finally seeing him as a friend? Besides, if you’d have a crush on a friend, it’d be Erwin. 

“Whatcha thinking of, Greenie?” Hange asked as she plopped herself on the couch next to you, handing you a cup of a drink they mixed. You’re at some party hosted in a club a little bit away from campus. You should probably be doing better things than attending a christmas frat party but somehow, Hange dragged the three of you along “for the experience,” as she said. 

“Nothing,” you reply, sipping from the red cup. You immediately winced, contemplating whether to spit the drink out or swallow it. You went with the latter but not without making a disgusted face. “Fuck. What’s in this?” 

“I mixed it,” Hange laughed maniacally. 

Your mouth parts as you look at her and you nod. That makes sense, you think. You look down at the color of the drink, unable to identify just what color it is under the lighting of the party. “This shit’s fucking poisonous, Hange. Were you planning to kill me?” 

“Yeah, drop that. Here.” 

Levi suddenly appears with Erwin, standing next to you and handing you a can of a fruit flavored beer. 

Like a dumbass, your mouth gaped and your cheeks heated up, realizing that he’s finally here. You accept the cold beverage, not missing how your fingers lightly grazed his. 

“Thank god,” you grumbled, setting down the cup on the side table of the couch. 

“Hey, there was a free table of alcohol! Sorry, I got too excited.” Hange says and drinks from her cup, somehow finding it bearable, knowing her, maybe even delicious. You cringed at the sight until Levi pushed her forehead up with a finger, pulling her mouth away from the drink.

“This is a frat party, Hange. God knows what they put in there. Only get your own sealed drinks. Preferably bought by our group.” Levi scolded and snatched the cup away from Hange. He picked up yours too and walked away. 

Hange pouted beside you and stayed silent. No one said anything because it wasn’t too long until Levi came back, no longer holding the cups. He must’ve thrown them away properly. 

You feel that odd feeling in your stomach again. He might’ve looked annoyed—maybe even belittling but the worry in his face is evident. There’s this… safety that you feel the more you hang out with him. A feeling of being cared for that made you feel comfortable, a state that you find both refreshing and uneasy. 

Suddenly, Levi pushed you sideways, forcing you to scoot and let him sit. You glared at him but gave him space, anyway. He sits down, the space only enough for your thighs to touch. His denim pants are rough against your bare legs that were exposed by the skirt you were wearing. 

“Hello to you too,” you told him off and he ignored you, looking around the club. Erwin perched his ass down at the edge of the couch right on the hand rest, loosely wrapping an arm around Levi’s shoulders.

“Should we do shots?” Erwin asked suddenly, looking at the three of you. You shake your head. 

“I saw the menu. One bottle of vodka is my salary at Kuchel’s for a damn week.” You’re not gonna waste your money on alcohol. Though you have to admit that it’s one thing you want to try at least once in your life. 

“It'll be my treat,” Erwin suggested and Hange immediately hollered and shouted a yes to Erwin. You couldn’t reject it anymore. 

Erwin ordered for the four of you. A little later, he comes back with the bottle of tequila along with four shot glasses, some lemon and salt. Honestly, why did the four of you go here if you’re just going to drink with one another? You could’ve easily done this somewhere quieter where you don’t have to watch the girls eyeing Erwin and Levi like a hawk.

You couldn’t blame them. They looked dashing. When Hange told you that she got an invite to the club, she pressed that all of you should dress up. 

Erwin wore a simple long sleeve white shirt with a few buttons opened at the top paired with washed blue  jeans. His hair is subtly gelled, only messed up in a way that looks good but still evidently styled. Levi wore something similar with a darker shade, a long sleeved black shirt and black jeans. Only two of his buttons are opened, showing off his collarbones and the soft pale skin underneath the material of his shirt. His hair is fixed the same way he always does. But his undercut never failed in any look. 

You heard a few girls giggling when they passed by your table. Some even winking at your male companions. Some even at Hange (who winked back delightly). She looked both beautiful and handsome at the same time.

Three shots after, you were definitely feeling the alcohol in your system. The lights in the club do nothing to help the state of your head. You decide to slow down, refusing any shot offered to you. 

A few people Hange, Erwin, and Levi knows approach the table. You’ve already known them to be Miche and Nanaba but you never really hung out with them before. They were there to ask if the four of you wanted to join them on the dance floor and rave along with them. 

“I’m fine here,” Levi rejected the invitation. You look at him. Hange and Erwin already agreed and went. That leaves you and Levi together, still being persuaded by the new pair. 

“Oh, come on, grumpycakes. It’s almost your birthday! Let loose!” Nanaba whined and your eyes widened, staring at her.

“Birthday?” you asked then looked at Levi. “It’s your birthday?” 

Levi groaned and threw his head back. “Look what you’ve fucking done, Nanaba.” He then looks at you and deadpanned. “No. It’s not today.” 

“It’s on Christmas!” Miche chimed in, laughing and patting Levi on the back. 

Your mouth dropped at the information. “Your birthday is on the 25th?” 

“No.” 

“Yes.” Miche answered for him.

“Levi here hates celebrating his birthday. He thinks it’s awkward and unnecessary.” Nanaba adds. 

“Wow.” You couldn’t help yourself but say it, grinning. “You literally have the same birthday as the lord and savior himself and yet you don’t have a single kindness in your body.” 

The entire table laughs. Miche pats you on the head. “I knew I liked you, Greenie. You sure you don’t want to hit the dance floor with us?” He invites you.

Before you could reply you hear Nanaba try and persuade Levi again to get off his ass. 

“Come on, Levi. Petra’s there.” 

You froze, your head turning to your left where Levi sat. His eyes are wide and his lips are parted, redness tinting his cheeks. Then, he sees you staring and his face drops, his expression clearly showing he’s uncomfortable. Whoever this Petra is, he’s not fond of you knowing about her. But why? And who is she? 

“Oh! Yes! I saw Petra too. You have a crush on her, don’t you?” Miche adds in. 

“F-Fuck you.” Levi could only stammer out, looking away from your gaze as you look at him with a bewildered expression. If you were in an unfazed state, you would’ve already said something to annoy Levi. But for now, all you could do was try to get the words you heard past the alcohol and into your system. 

Crush. He has a crush. 

A sinking feeling rambled in your chest and you got the urge to grasp at your chest. Oh. Fuck. Why do you feel like crying? Why is there literal and physical pain in your heart right now? 

You tuned out anything they say, only seeing Nanaba point at someone in the middle of the club. She’s pretty. Short haired and ginger. She’s with her girl friends, singing and dancing along to the music with them. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Jealousy. 

Shit. 

You like Levi?

Oh, fuck. 

You like Levi. 

It was getting suffocating. You didn’t know what to do. So you stood up. 

You don’t say anything. You just downed another shot of tequila, got on your feet, and headed over to where Hange is. Hange cheered when she saw you and spun you around. The crowd wasn’t as suffocating as the realization of your feelings for Levi—your unrequited feelings for Levi. 

You went along with whatever Hange was doing, screaming along the lyrics of whatever was playing. Closing your eyes and letting the alcohol and flashing lights lose your senses, moving your hips to the rhythm. 

As you were dancing, your mind drifts back to the concert and how intimate it felt to you. To you. How stupid were you to give meaning to something so… nothing?

As you try your best to distract yourself, you bump into someone. He’s tall and you laugh and say sorry. He looks down at you and smirks, lightening up when he sees your face. 

“No. It’s my fault. Sorry!” He replied, shouting and leaning to your ear so you could hear him over the music.

“It’s fine!” you shout back at him and flashed him a smile. 

“You from Paradis U?” He shouts again and you nod. 

“Yeah. You?” He nods. 

You exchanged names. His name is Gian and he’s a second-year engineering student. He’s good looking and tall, definitely more than 6 feet. Fair skinned with long dark hair tied up in a manbun, revealing the multiple piercings on his ears. He’s wearing a simple and fitted black shirt and jeans, showing off the muscles of his biceps. Everything is telling you that he’s bad news but you don’t seem to care at the moment. Besides, he might not be interested in you anyway. 

You introduce him to Hange and he happily gets to know her. Somehow, Nanaba and Miche but without Levi. You badly want to look at the table you left, eyes always seeming to look for him everywhere. However, you know better than to see he’s not there and already spending time with the redhead he has a crush on. 

“Hey,” Gian leans into your ear again. “You have a boyfriend or something?” 

A little shocked and curious why he would ask that, you leaned in to ask. “What?” you shout over the music.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Gian repeated, louder this time with his face over yours after he said the words so he could see your reaction. It seemed to please him when your face flushed red. 

“Oh! Yeah. I mean, no. No. I’m single.” You curse yourself at your stammering response. 

Great, I must have looked like a total loser when I opened my mouth.  

A little panicked because this is the first time someone showed their interest to you this way, your eyes looked for Hange for help. When you do, you see her throwing you a thumbs up while Nanaba silently cheers you on with her fists. You even see her mouth what seems to be like a ‘Go get it, girl!’.

He pulls himself closer to you and leans into your ear, this time he doesn’t shout because his lips were close enough to kiss your ear but not quite touch.

“That’s good because I think you look really hot in your skirt,” he whispered, lips almost kissing your ear. His voice, rough and deep, sent chills down your spine and parted your lips in anticipation for the attention he’s giving you. 

The back of your mind is screaming a name, hoping you would see him—hoping he would see you. But you know that now, it’s impossible. He doesn’t want you like that. 

So you pull yourself closer to the named stranger, your bodies flush against each other. A stray hand presses down on your back, sliding down to your behind where it squeezes, making you gasp. 

“Oh!” You didn’t really expect that he would touch you like that. 

Gian’s hand inches away from you in less than a second like it was scorched by fire, face laced with embarrassment and apology. “Sorry, too far?” 

You were unfamiliar with being touched like that but everyone around you seemed to be getting it on. Looking around, the people on the dance floor were doing worse. It’s a place where people go to do things like this, you should let loose. 

“No, no,” you answer quickly. “It’s fine. Just surprised me s’all.”

The man in front of you let out a breath of relief and continued roaming his hands around your body, his face buried in your neck. You were relaxing into it, trying to appease yourself in this type of closure. 

“Greenie.” 

Your head whipped around to the deep voice calling you. Levi stands there, not too close but even your company could feel the threat looming in his impassive cold stance. It was enough to make you keep a distance with Gian as if you were doing something wrong.

“Levi,” it came out more of a whisper. You weren’t even sure if Gian even heard it. 

The silver-eyed man steps closer this time, maybe so you can hear him. “Erwin is not feeling well. I think we should go. Where’s Hange?” He looks around the crowd, looking for Hange. Or avoiding your eyes because of the lie. 

You found that hard to believe because it’s Erwin. That man never gets sick. His daily vitamins and supplements are scheduled and he holds his alcohol really well. Maybe the best drinker out of the four of you. 

“Oh,” you choose to believe anyway. “I guess we should. Uhm…” You face Gian. “I’m sorry. This is my friend, Levi.” 

Gian doesn’t hide the disappointment in his face but smiles anyway. “Don’t even worry about it. Sup, bro? I’m Gian.” 

Levi only nods in acknowledgement, nothing ill-mannered when it comes to him. He always acts this way with every new person he meets. 

“I guess I’ll see you around, Gian.” You smile up at him. Before he can respond, the crowd fills up more as the DJ puts on a popular club song, pushing Levi to you. Discomfort creeps into Levi’s face and unconsciously, he reaches for your wrist for some familiarity.

“Let’s go,” he says with an irritated look on his face. 

“Wait.” Gian places a hand on your shoulder. “You’re on Facebook, right?”

You nod and before you can say anything else, Levi was already dragging you out of the crowd. You hear Gian shout out a follow that he’ll find you there before looking at the man ahead of you, holding your wrist tightly but not so much that it hurts. 

As you follow Levi, you pass by your table where you see a very much sober-looking Erwin who stared into your eyes knowingly with a smirk and his arm around a girl’s shoulder you don’t know. Hange can’t be found anywhere. Miche and Nanaba as well. It didn’t look like the group was getting ready to leave at all.  

You try and tug your hand out of his grip, protesting as you walk through the night club. When you finally reach the outside of the club, the cold air hits your skin, setting goosebumps all over. Levi finally lets go, his back still turned to you. 

“What the hell is going on, Levi?” There’s a slight shiver to your question, your arms coming up to protect yourself from the cold. 

He doesn’t turn around, standing still in front of you. 

“Hey—” 

“Let’s go home.” He turns without looking at you, attempting to walk off without even uttering an explanation as to why he insists that the two of you go home. 

Unwilling to accept his orders, you huff and grab him by the shoulder, halting his steps. “I am not going home! What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Then go back inside. Fuck!” He shrugs your hand off his shoulder, glaring at you for a second before looking away again. This is a mood from Levi you can’t read. You’ve seen him annoyed. You’ve seen him irritated. You’ve even seen him happy. But this one, you can’t understand. And you have a feeling that it’s because of you. And that sets an uneasy feeling in your chest. Levi and you always fight but he was still a friend.

“What’s gotten into you, Levi?” Your voice softens, as if cowering. It must be the alcohol (or that poison drink Hange gave you) in your system that had your walls down for a moment. Levi has also never seen you like this. It’s without doubt that his sudden attitude scared you. 

“It’s…” He paused. The thought of scaring you made him clear his thoughts a little. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into him. “Nothing.” 

You weren’t satisfied with his answer, you made sure he gets that with your answer. “It’s not nothing.” 

“Why do you hate me so much?” The softness of your voice surprised him, it’s far from your usual behavior with him. It’s like you were baring yourself, the alcohol you guess is doing the work. 

There is deafening silence for a few seconds, the cold doing nothing to help the situation. He takes a step closer, brows furrowed and a frown painted on his face. 

“I don’t hate you.” He hissed, as if you said something offensive to him. 

Your jaw clenched, biting your words in frustration. “You do!” You keep the distance closer. “You hate me because I’m not well off. Like I’m not fucking worthy of your time because I don’t come from money like you.” 

“That’s not at all true,” he argues, equally frustrated now. “Is that what you think of me? A pompous elitist?” 

No, I don’t think that. Maybe at first… but not anymore. 

“Yes.”

“Well, you’re fucking wrong,” he blanks. “You know what? I do hate you.”  

“I fucking hate you,” he repeats. “I’ve hated you since high school. It was awful. Seeing you try so hard, not making friends, and ignoring everyone who tries to get close. It was fine, really. I didn’t care. That’s your shitty life. And then you get here. And suddenly you’re in my life trying to be someone else. You get to my mom, my friends, my home. It’s so fucking annoying.” 

You’re stunned. Somewhere, somehow, you hear your heart breaking from a distance. For the second time that night, your chest tightens, but for a different type of pain. A pain that didn’t feel good as realized earlier.

“I fucking hate you.” As if it wasn’t enough, he repeats it. 

“I…” He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “I fucking hate that you’re in my head. All the fucking time.”

“You’re making me so insane that I just wish that you would stay away from me,” he ranted, eyes still closed so tight that his brows furrowed and forehead wrinkled. You can see how his cheeks and ears are red, blazing from intense cold or emotion. You weren’t sure. 

“But I… don’t really want you anywhere else.” 

The sound of your phone buzzing pulls you back to reality. Why now of all times were you reminiscing about how you and Levi came to be? At corporate lunch time at that. 

You reached for your phone, seeing a text from Hange. She was trying to schedule you with a tailor to have the bridesmaid dress of the girl who canceled refitted to your body. You send her your schedule, not having a lot of time left on both the wedding and your time availability. 

After a few minutes, you received a text back from Hange. 

Great! I scheduled you on Sunday, 10AM! Levi will pick you up and come with you. Love ya! 

Oh, Hange. I’m gonna fucking kill you.

© levisolace. please do not copy, translate, claim any of my works. my works are cross-posted only on my ao3 account. thank you.

[6] Expendable Hearts (Levi x F!Reader)

Chapter 6: Busy Nights

WC: 6664 Chapter Warnings: just angst again Summary: Everyone in Levi's life knows he only ever dated one girl and that she left him wrecked, bitter, and heartbroken. Many years later, she's back in his life and he doesn't know what to do. Note: Levi POV in this chapter !! ^^ Oh, and unfortunately, there will probably no update until after the 17th of October. I have uni exams and my study schedule is clashing with work so I probably won't time have time to write until then. See you until then! (We're gonna get more angsty and a little steamy(?) when I come back, I promise.) check out the expandable hearts playlist here!

story masterlist | prev chapter > next chapter

Over the next few days, you found yourself checking your phone more than usual, a small flicker of anticipation stirring each time you saw a new message. On Wednesday afternoon, Kuchel finally texted you the details of the dinner, and to your surprise, it wasn’t at the restaurant.

Would dinner at my place this Thursday be good? 7PM. Just us. Don’t bring anything—just yourself. See you then. —Kuchel

You stared at the message for a moment, blinking. Kuchel’s home? You hadn’t expected something so personal, but it made sense. After all, this wasn’t just any casual dinner. It was a reunion, an intimate moment to reconnect outside the hustle and noise of her now-bustling restaurant.

A mix of emotions bubbled up as you responded with a quick response.

Sounds perfect. I’ll be there.

As the dinner date drew closer, you found yourself thinking about Kuchel more than you expected. Memories from the time you worked at her small, then unassuming restaurant resurfaced—late nights closing up, chats over coffee while you helped her organize orders, Levi’s rare moments of humor in between his sharp instructions. It all seemed so distant now, like a chapter of your life that belonged to someone else.

A couple of minutes after confirming the dinner with Kuchel, another message buzzed on your phone, pulling you from the stack of legal documents you’d been reviewing. You glanced at the screen and saw Hange’s name pop up and you remember she has been pestering you about her bachelorette party. She kept sending the same message everyday for the past week.

Heyyy! Guess what? You’re invited to my bachelorette party! 🎉🎉 It’s going to be WILD. Be there, or I’ll hunt you down!! This Saturday at 8 PM. The details are attached here. Can’t wait to see you!!

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you read the message. Hange hadn’t changed one bit. She always had this vibrant energy that could light up any room, and apparently, she was bringing that energy to her bachelorette party. The thought of attending the event tugged at something inside you—an old camaraderie, a time when things were simpler, messier, but undeniably fun.

The idea of being surrounded by familiar faces again—of slipping back into that old rhythm—both excited and unsettled you. But Hange’s invitation was impossible to refuse. She had a way of pulling people into her orbit, and you knew this wouldn’t be any ordinary night. Besides, Levi won’t be there anyway.

As the day unfolded, the prospect of Kuchel’s dinner and Hange’s bachelorette party loomed closer, each event pulling you back into the life you once had here. It felt as though the city, with all its memories and relationships, was welcoming you back in layers—one familiar face at a time. And you don’t even know if you deserved it. 

—

When the evening finally arrived, you made your way to Kuchel’s home, which was tucked into a quiet neighborhood just a few blocks away from the restaurant. The walk there felt almost surreal, the streets of Stohess now familiar yet filled with memories. When you arrived, you found the house just as warm and inviting as the woman who owned it.

Kuchel’s home was modest, but there was a charm to it—plants lining the windowsills, warm lights glowing from inside, and the faint scent of cooking wafting out the front door. You took a deep breath and knocked.

The door swung open almost immediately, and there she was, smiling as though no time had passed at all.

“You made it,” Kuchel said, her voice bright as she stepped aside to let you in. “Come on in, the food’s almost ready.”

You stepped inside, taking in the cozy, lived-in feel of the space. Photos lined the walls, some of Levi as a boy, and others of what seemed to be old family gatherings. The warmth of the place wrapped around you, instantly putting you at ease.

“I haven’t been here in so long,” you said softly, looking around.

Kuchel smiled as she led you into the kitchen, where a simple but delicious-smelling meal was simmering on the stove. “I figured it’d be nice to have dinner somewhere quiet. We can talk without the restaurant noise, and besides, I’ve been meaning to catch up with you for a long time.”

As you took a seat at her kitchen table, Kuchel poured you a glass of wine, her movements graceful and familiar. “It’s been too long. You’ve done so much since you left, and I want to hear everything.”

You smiled, settling into the moment. “There’s a lot to catch up on,” you admitted. “But I want to hear about you, too. Kuchel’s has grown so much—I couldn’t believe it when I saw how busy it was the other night.”

Kuchel laughed softly as she joined you at the table. “Levi deserves most of the credit for that. He’s been the driving force behind the expansion. I never imagined we’d get this far, honestly. But enough about work—for tonight, let’s treat each other like the old times.” 

You took a sip of your wine, feeling the warmth of the room and the comfort of Kuchel’s presence sink in. “It’s been a whirlwind,” you began, knowing that this evening would be one of reconnection, not just with Kuchel, but with the parts of yourself that you’d left behind when you moved away. You began to tell her what happened like how you tell it to everyone, how you left the city, moved your grandma, went to law school, how your grandma died, and how you began to work in Trost. 

And as the night unfolded, with laughter and stories shared over a lovingly prepared meal, you realized how much you had missed this—missed her, and the sense of home that Kuchel had always provided.

As the dinner with Kuchel neared its end, the conversation had drifted from light-hearted reminiscing to more personal territory. You both shared a bottle of wine, laughter mixing with memories, but there was a point where the ease of the evening gave way to something deeper. Kuchel, always observant, seemed to notice the way your smiles didn’t quite reach your eyes, the way you hesitated before answering certain questions.

She set her glass down, her expression softening as the last bit of warmth from the meal filled the quiet space between you. “I’m really glad you’re back,” she said, her voice gentle but with an edge of seriousness. “You were with someone else when I first saw you but it’s been plaguing my mind so I came to ask you to meet me. I’m sorry, dear… I have to ask, how are you really doing?”

You looked down at your plate for a moment, the weight of the question settling in. Kuchel had always been able to read you, even when you didn’t want to be read. She wasn’t one for surface-level small talk—not with you.

“I’m fine,” you started, instinctively offering the answer you’d given everyone else. But Kuchel’s eyes didn’t waver, and the sincerity of her gaze made you pause. She wasn’t letting you get away with that.

She leaned forward slightly, resting her elbows on the table, her voice a little softer now. “I know it’s been a long time, and I don’t expect you to spill everything right now… but I can see it. You’ve been through something. So, how have you really been?”

The words hung in the air, and for the first time all night, you felt exposed. You hadn’t planned on opening up—not tonight, maybe not ever—but something about Kuchel’s quiet persistence, her maternal presence, made you feel safe enough to let the guard down.

“You know—and don’t tell Levi I told you this but… when the breakup happened, Levi didn’t take it well. And I never got to talk to you about it. But if Levi experienced that… it was probably bad for you too, wasn’t it?” She reached for your hand across the table, placing a comforting hand on yours, and caressing it with care and love of a mother. 

It took all of you to control your emotions right there and then. For Kuchel to say this, the curiosity of what Levi endured during those times that you broke things off and what happened to everyone after you left only became stronger, accompanied with greater guilt that you have always been carrying. You look away and take a deep breath, setting your own glass aside. “I… it was hard for me too, I admit.”

Kuchel nodded, not interrupting, just listening in that patient way of hers. It encouraged you to continue.

“When I left, it was all I could think of doing. But it feels like I just ran. Away from here, from everything. And now that I’m back, it’s like… all of it is catching up to me, and I don’t know what to do with it.”

You hadn’t meant to be so honest, but once the words started spilling out, it was hard to stop. Kuchel listened intently, her eyes filled with understanding, but she didn’t say anything right away.

“I knew there was more under the surface,” she said softly. “You’ve always been strong, but sometimes it’s okay to stop carrying it all alone. I can see it’s hard to tell what really happened and I—we can wait. There’s still people that love you here. You can find your way back to them.”

Her words hit deeper than you expected, and for the first time in a while, you felt a small sense of relief—a release of the tension you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. It was comforting, having someone like Kuchel, who knew you before the layers of adulthood and responsibility piled on.

“Thanks,” you whispered, your voice barely above a murmur. “I guess I just needed to hear that.”

Kuchel smiled warmly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. But don’t keep it bottled up either. You’ve got people here who care, people who are still part of your life—whether it’s me, or Hange, or whoever else. Don’t be a stranger.”

You nodded, feeling the sincerity in her words settle over you like a warm blanket. There was something about the way she said it that made you believe it.

The evening ended on a note of quiet understanding, Kuchel walking you to the door with a promise to see each other again soon. As you stepped out into the night, the weight on your shoulders felt just a little lighter, knowing that at least here, in this corner of your past, you had someone who understood—someone who saw through the cracks and cared enough to reach out.

—

After saying your goodbyes to Kuchel and leaving her cozy home, the cool night air greeted you as you stepped out of the cab in front of your apartment. The streets were quiet, only the occasional flicker of distant headlights passing by, the buzz from your dinner still lingering in your mind. Kuchel's words played over and over in your head—her gentle insistence that you didn’t have to carry everything alone. You felt lighter, as if some invisible weight had been lifted, but also heavy with the realization that coming back to the city meant dealing with more than just the people from your past. It meant facing the reality that this is the present–your current situation, something you can no longer run away from. 

As you rounded the corner of your street, something caught your eye—a familiar silhouette, leaning casually against the building. At first, you thought you were imagining it, the streetlights casting long shadows that distorted the figure. But as you approached, the figure became clearer, the unmistakable stance of someone you hadn't expected to see, but somehow weren’t surprised by.

Levi.

He stood there, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his expression as unreadable as ever, but there was a tension in his posture that told you this wasn’t just a casual visit. His dark eyes flicked up as you approached, locking onto yours with the same intensity you remembered. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you heavy with unspoken words.

“What are you doing here?” you finally asked, your voice quieter than you intended, but firm enough to mask the sudden rush of emotions swirling inside you.

Levi pushed off from the wall, standing straighter as he took a few slow steps toward you. 

"How was the dinner?" he asked, the words falling out more out of habit than genuine curiosity. He didn't need to know about the dinner, not really. He just needed to say something.

“You knew?” You blinked, surprised that he even knew about it. Then you remembered, of course—Levi was always aware of things, especially when it came to Kuchel. He probably knew you'd be seeing her tonight even if she didn’t tell him. 

"It was nice," you said, carefully, as if you were trying not to give too much away. "Kuchel’s doing well."

Levi nodded, his gaze shifting for a second, as though considering whether to say something more. But instead, he settled on something simple. "Good."

Another silence stretched between you, longer this time. It was clear he wasn’t going to explain why he’d really come. Maybe you didn’t need to ask—maybe it didn’t matter. But the tension between you felt thick, almost suffocating. The years apart hadn’t erased anything. You can still feel the immeasurable amount of love he has for his mother. In honesty, you’d expected him to be angry that you reconnected with Kuchel. But of course, this was Levi. If it’s mother’s happiness or want, he would never question or fault her for it. 

Levi nodded, staring down at the ground for a beat, shoving his hands back into his jacket pockets. There was no reason for him to stay, but he lingered, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The streets were quiet, save for the distant hum of the city around you both.

"You didn’t have to come all the way out here," you said, breaking the silence, your voice soft but carrying a note of hesitation. You didn’t ask him outright why he was there, but it was implied.

Levi shrugged, his eyes meeting yours briefly before drifting off again. "Maybe I did."

You swallowed, not sure how to respond to that. For all of Levi’s usual bluntness, there was always something deeper that he never quite let show. Something that made it impossible to fully walk away from him, even when you thought you had. 

“Get some rest,” Levi said after a moment, his voice quieter now, almost softer. “You look awful.”

He gave you a curt nod and turned to walk away, leaving you standing there, feeling like something had just shifted between you. Something unspoken, unresolved, and maybe destined to remain that way.  

—

The night of Hange’s bachelorette party arrived with the kind of energy that made the air feel electric. You stood outside the venue, a trendy rooftop bar in the heart of the city, the neon lights of Stohess Street reflected in the glass walls behind you. The place had been transformed—streamers, lights, and enough champagne to fill a small pool. You took a deep breath before stepping inside, knowing that wherever Hange was, chaos was sure to follow.

As you entered, you were immediately hit by a wave of laughter, music, and the unmistakable sound of Hange’s voice ringing out over the crowd. The space was filled with friends, both familiar faces and new ones, all gathered to celebrate. You spotted her almost immediately—Hange was at the center of the room, a crown of flowers on her head and a glass of champagne in hand, already in full party mode.

“There she is!” Hange’s voice rang out as she spotted you from across the room, her face lighting up as she waved you over. She was wearing a sash that read “Bride-to-Be” in glittering letters, and her energy was contagious. “I thought you’d never make it! Come here!”

You smiled, weaving through the crowd of partygoers to reach her. Before you could say a word, Hange pulled you into a tight hug, nearly spilling her champagne in the process.

“I told you it’d be wild!” she laughed, stepping back to take you in. “Look at you! You clean up well.”

“Thanks, Hange,” you said, unable to help but smile at her infectious enthusiasm. “This is… a lot.”

“Only the best for my bachelorette!” she declared, spinning around to show off the venue. “We’ve got drinks, food, and games—oh, and don’t forget the karaoke later.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Karaoke?”

Hange grinned wickedly. “Oh yeah, it’s happening. And you will sing, my friend.”

Before you could protest, Nanaba appeared beside you, already holding a glass of champagne for you. “She’s not kidding about the karaoke. Start thinking of your song now,” she teased, handing you the glass. “Long time no see, girl.”

You took it, laughing softly. “Oh my god, Nanaba,” you greet her with a hug. She hugs you back.

Everyone began to greet you. Out of all the attendees, you only knew Nanaba who thankfully treated you kindly like it hasn’t been years since you’ve last seen each other. Tonight, it will all be about Hange, that’s what she said. 

The party was in full swing, with drinks flowing and people chatting in every corner. You settled into the crowd, reminiscing about college days with Nanaba and meeting new girls, but the chaotic energy of the evening was starting to grow on you. Every time you glanced at Hange, she was in the middle of some new adventure—whether it was a game, making an impromptu speech, or trying to rope someone into a dance-off.

As the night went on, you found yourself at the bar, taking a moment to breathe. That’s when Hange sidled up beside you, a mischievous glint in her eye. “So,” she started, leaning on the bar, “I heard you and Levi ran into each other recently.”

You froze for a second, surprised she’d brought it up. Of course, Hange would know. “Yeah… he returned something I forgot in his car,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Hange raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying your casual tone. “Oh, just a handkerchief? Interesting.”

You gave her a look. “It was nothing. We barely talked.” While we were having dinner, that is, you thought. 

“Sure,” she said with a teasing grin. “Well, just so you know, I mixed that drink myself.”

You stared at her, caught off guard. “Of course you did.”

She laughed, clearly enjoying your reaction. “What? It’s my party! I want everyone to have fun. Besides, it’ll be fun for everyone to let loose. Don’t worry, it’s not as dangerous as the ones I made from college. I’ve practiced a lot over the years.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. Hange always had a way of stirring the pot, even when she didn’t mean to. Before you could respond, she was pulled away by a group of friends, leaving you to your thoughts for a moment.

The night wore on, and as promised, karaoke eventually took over the party. You found yourself dragged into a group rendition of some 90s throwback song, with Hange leading the charge and everyone laughing so hard they could barely keep up with the lyrics. It was chaotic, messy, and exactly what you’d expected from a night like this.

As you looked around at the familiar faces, the laughter, and the whirlwind energy of the party, you felt a strange sense of belonging—a feeling you hadn’t realized you’d missed until now. It was like stepping back into a part of yourself you’d left behind, and for the first time in a while, you felt like maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to be back. Or maybe that was the alcohol in your system. You feel like you’re about to crash out soon. 

The party didn’t start winding down until the early hours of the morning, when even Hange began to show signs of exhaustion. You were one of the last to leave, standing on the rooftop as the city stretched out beneath you, barely alive with the hum of nightlife. The reason you didn’t leave yet is because your alcohol tolerance betrayed you. You fear that if you go home alone, you’d pass out on the street and wake up god knows where.

Hange caught up to you once more as you stood, leaning on the tall railings. “Hey,” she said, her tone more serious now, though still light. “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me, you know? Having you back here.”

You smiled, feeling the sincerity in her words. “I wouldn’t have missed it.”

“Good,” she said, giving you a lopsided grin before pulling you into one last hug. “Now get home and sleep. We’ve got more partying to do at the wedding.” 

“Actually, can you grab me a cab? I don’t think I can book a ride on my phone at my state.” Your words are slurring off with a soft laugh as you talk, trying to pull out your phone out of your pocket only to find it empty. “Oh, other pocket,” you murmured incoherently as you finally had your phone in your hand.

You look up to already see Hange grinning at you, her cheeks flushed with the excitement of the night. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Already taken care of.”

You furrowed your brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

Hange gave you a look that was somewhere between mischievous and knowing, her eyes twinkling with that signature glint she always got when she knew she was meddling in something. “I called someone to pick you up.” 

Your stomach dropped, and a sense of foreboding crept into your drunken haze. “Who?” you asked, dreading the answer. 

“For fuck’s sake, Hange.” 

For one good second, you sobered up, chills filling your entire body when you heard his voice. You look in his direction, already walking up to the two of you. He’s wearing a black jacket and jeans, his hair a little tousled by the windy air of the rooftop. 

“I thought you’d know better than drinking Hange’s mix,” he directly spoke to you now, arms crossed in disappointment. Him standing in front of you hit you like a splash of cold water. You blinked a few times, as if you don’t believe what you’re seeing in front of you. 

“Levi? You called Levi?” is what you would’ve said if you could even make some words out of your drunken mouth. You let out a long sigh, feeling the weight of the situation settle in your already tipsy mind. The way Levi is seeing you right now—drunk, disoriented, and in this state—is too humiliating, but it was too late to argue. Hange had made her decision without consulting you, and there was no undoing it now, with him already standing in front of you.

Hange laughed, patting you on the back. “Welp, here’s your designated driver. Moblit’s on his way to fetch me so you two go on ahead.”

With that, Hange left the two of you alone by the railings. The two of you stood there in silence. The long-sleeved shirt you wore does nothing for the chilly night, you wrap your arms tightly around yourself as the cold night air sobered you up just enough to feel the awkwardness building. Your heart pounded in your chest as you leaned on the railing, trying to steady yourself.

He approached you closer, his usual unreadable expression giving nothing away. “You good to go, or do I need to carry you to the car?” he asked, his voice dry but not unkind.

You blinked, trying to pull yourself together, but you could still feel the alcohol buzzing in your system. “I can walk,” you muttered, feeling heat rise in your cheeks despite the cool air.

Levi’s lips twitched ever so slightly at your response, a ghost of a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “Sure you can.”

You huff, trying to walk away from him. You swayed slightly on your feet, your mind racing with a mixture of embarrassment and dread as you head to the elevator. Levi followed closely behind you. Whenever you feel like you’re about to lose your stance, you’d feel a slight graze of a hand on your back. He never touches you. But you’re awfully aware of his presence behind you. 

The two of you waited in front of the elevator in silence. You don’t look at Levi. You feel like your face is going to be redder than it already is if you look at his handsome face. And what was he wearing? Did he go somewhere? Why does he look like that? It’s so unfair. He’s so hot. The all black fit always hits you differently, the alcohol is not helping either. 

Just as the elevator doors open, something draped on your shoulders. Levi’s jacket. “Wear it. You look like you’re gonna freeze to death.” 

As the two of you go in, due to actually feeling like you’re going to freeze to death, you don’t complain and wear his jacket. The smell of his cologne fills your nose and you bury yourself in the warmth of it. 

"You look like you’ve had a rough night," he said, his voice flat but with a hint of dry amusement.

You huffed out a breath, leaning your elbows on the railing again. “It wasn’t supposed to end with you showing up.” You paused for a moment. “Thanks for coming… but you didn’t have to. I could’ve called a cab.”

Levi shrugged, glancing over at the view of the city in front of you. “You were drunk, and she called me. Simple as that.”

You sighed, realizing there was no point in arguing with him. “Yeah, I guess.”

He glanced at you, taking in the way you leaned a little too heavily against the wall, the faint pink flush on your cheeks. As the two of you stood there, the awkward silence between you grew. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but there was an underlying tension—one that neither of you wanted to acknowledge.

You made it to the lobby  and then outside of the building, the cool air of the outside world hitting you like a fresh wave of another cold. Levi led the way to his car parked just outside, and you hesitated for a moment, feeling a strange mix of gratitude and reluctance.

When you reached the car, Levi opened the passenger door for you, motioning for you to get in. You do as he says, slipping into the passenger seat.  The ride was quiet, the hum of the engine the only sound between you as he drove through the city streets, which had quieted down in the late hours. You stared out the window, watching the lights of the buildings blur as you passed by. 

Levi finally broke the silence, his voice soft but steady. “Hange said you were having fun tonight.”

You let out a small laugh, still feeling the god-awful drink swirling in your veins. “Yeah, I was… surprisingly”

He glanced at you briefly. “Parties weren't really your thing.”

“Neither are late-night rescues,” you replied, shooting him a half-smile.

Levi’s lips twitched, the closest thing to a smile you’d seen from him all night. “Could’ve fooled me.”

The rest of the ride passed in comfortable silence, the weight of the night settling over you as your eyelids grew heavy. The rhythmic hum of the car and the gentle motion of the drive lulled you into a deeper state of relaxation. The alcohol in your system had finally caught up with you, and despite your best efforts to stay awake, your eyes grew heavier with each passing minute. You leaned your head against the cool window, the blur of city lights fading as your consciousness began to slip.

You barely registered Levi glancing over at you from the driver's seat. His expression, ever unreadable, softened slightly as he noticed your slow, even breathing. He kept driving for a few more minutes, but when he pulled up in front of your apartment building and turned off the engine, you didn’t stir.

—

Levi sat there for a moment, staring at you, your body curled up in the passenger seat, completely oblivious to the world around you. The faint rise and fall of your chest was the only sound in the quiet of the car. He let out a small sigh, looking around the area of your building as he considered his options. There were still some people outside in the streets. The underground never slept, filled with drunktards and no-good doers. 

After a moment of hesitation, Levi made his decision. Getting you inside your apartment, trying to find your keys, and getting you up the steep and unpaved stairs—all of it seemed like too much for someone in your condition. 

Without another word, Levi drove off your apartment and to his own home where you’ll be more comfortable. After he parked his car, Levi got out of the car and came around to your side. He opened the passenger door quietly and leaned down, carefully sliding one arm beneath your legs and the other around your back. You stirred slightly as he lifted you, your head resting against his chest as he effortlessly carried you out of the car. The smell of alcohol fills his nose but it didn’t bother him one bit.  His movements were slow and deliberate, making sure not to wake you as he adjusted your weight in his arms. 

You murmured something incoherent, your head shifting slightly as you nestled closer against him. Levi froze for a second, his gaze flickering down to you, but when you didn’t wake, he continued walking toward his building.

Once inside, Levi carried you up the stairs to his apartment. It was quiet and dark, the only light coming from the street lamps outside. He shifted you gently in his arms to open the door, then stepped inside, closing it behind him with a soft click. He made his way through the familiar space, heading toward his bedroom.

Levi laid you down carefully on his bed, pulling back the covers as he positioned you comfortably on the mattress. You stirred again, this time more aware, your eyes fluttering open briefly as you tried to figure out where you were. Your vision was blurry, your mind still fogged with sleep and alcohol, but you recognized the familiar scent of Levi’s apartment. 

"Levi?" you mumbled, your voice hoarse with sleep.

He was already adjusting the blanket over you, making sure you were covered and comfortable. “Yeah, it’s me,” he said quietly, his voice unusually soft. “Go back to sleep.”

You blinked a few times, trying to make sense of the situation, but exhaustion pulled at you like a weight. Your body relaxed into the bed, the warmth of the blankets lulling you back to the edge of unconsciousness. “This isn’t… my place…” you muttered, but even as you said it, your eyes were closing again.

“I know,” Levi replied, stepping back slightly as he watched you. “You fell asleep in the car.”

You didn’t have the energy to argue. Instead, you let out a soft sigh, sinking deeper into the mattress. “Yeah…” you mumbled, your voice barely audible as sleep finally overtook you.

As Levi carefully tucked the blanket around you, making sure you were comfortable, he turned to leave the room. But just as he was about to pull away, he felt a gentle tug on his arm.

In your half-conscious state, your fingers had wrapped around his wrist, holding him in place. He froze, staring down at you, his heartbeat quickening unexpectedly. Your eyes were still closed, your breathing slow and steady, but your grip was firm—gentle, yet desperate, as though some part of you, even in sleep, didn’t want him to leave.

“Stay… please…” you whispered, your voice barely audible but enough to make Levi’s breath catch.

He wasn’t sure if you were dreaming or fully aware of what you were saying, but the soft plea reached him. You shifted slightly, your hand sliding up his arm as you pulled him closer, nestling into the blankets. “hold me…” you murmured, the vulnerability in your voice tugging at something deep inside him.

Levi’s body went rigid, his mind torn between his instinct to distance himself and the raw emotion in your voice. He had never been good with moments like this—moments that demanded more than what he was used to offering. But the way you clung to him, even unconsciously, made it difficult to simply pull away. It reminded him of old, easier times. 

With a quiet sigh, Levi gave in. He gently sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb you too much. His movements were slow, uncertain, but deliberate. He stretched out beside you, keeping a small distance at first, though your hand never let go of him.

As you sensed his presence closer, you relaxed, instinctively shifting so that your head rested lightly against his chest. The tension in your body melted as you let out a soft, contented sigh, your hand still gripping his shirt as if afraid he might disappear.

Levi lay there, still and silent, staring up at the ceiling, his heart beating faster than usual. He didn’t know what to do with his free arm, but eventually, he let it settle around your shoulder, holding you with a gentleness that surprised even him. The scent of your hair and the warmth of your body against his was oddly calming, despite the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in his mind.

The room was quiet, save for your slow, steady breathing. Levi glanced down at you, watching the peaceful expression on your face, the way your brow had unfurled and your lips parted slightly in sleep. You looked vulnerable, and yet completely at ease.

For a brief moment, Levi allowed himself to relax, too. He wasn’t sure what this meant—this sudden closeness but as you snuggled into him, your body warm against his, he let himself be present in the moment.

Just for tonight, he told himself. Just for now.

As the minutes passed, Levi found himself unable to tear his gaze away from you. Your face was serene in sleep, the tension from the day and the alcohol completely dissolved. He hadn't seen you like this in a long time—peaceful, unguarded. There was something deeply comforting in watching you like this, something that stirred memories he had long buried. Only now was he able to stare at your face without fearing he’d crumble in front of you. The darkness under your eyes tells everyone that you’re tired but the years have painted a maturity in your face that didn’t take away your beauty. 

His eyes traced the familiar lines of your features—the way your lashes rested softly on your cheeks, the subtle rise and fall of your chest as you breathed. The room was quiet, save for the faint sound of your breathing, and Levi’s thoughts seemed to drift along with it. He wasn’t one to dwell on the past, but here, beside you, he couldn’t help but think of everything that had happened between you two—what you had been, what you could have been.

He wasn’t sure when it happened, but a deep, unspoken longing began to rise in his chest, a feeling he had been trying to ignore ever since the night he had shown up outside your apartment without a reason. The closeness of you, the way you had unconsciously reached for him, pulled at something deep inside him.

His gaze softened, lingering on your parted lips, the way your hair spilled across the pillow, framing your face. Slowly, as if drawn by some invisible force, he found himself leaning in closer. His heart began to pound louder, an unfamiliar rush of emotions building within him, making his movements feel almost inevitable.

He told himself to stop, to pull back before he crossed a line. But as his face hovered just inches above yours, he was overwhelmed by the quiet intimacy of the moment. The warmth of your breath brushed against his skin, and his pulse quickened. You were so close, and for a brief moment, he allowed himself to imagine what it would feel like—to close that final distance, to press his lips against yours once again. 

He hesitated, his breath hitching as his eyes traced your sleeping face. You looked so peaceful, so trusting, curled up against him. And yet, in that moment, the weight of what was unsaid between you—the unresolved tension, the memories, the regrets—hung in the air. 

Levi’s hand, which had been resting lightly on your shoulder, twitched as he fought the urge to touch you, to run his fingers through your hair, to let his guard down completely. But just as he was about to give in to the moment, he stopped himself.

A faint sigh escaped him as he pulled back, his forehead creasing with conflict. He couldn’t do it—not like this. Not while you were asleep and unaware. It wouldn’t be fair to you, and he knew better than to act on fleeting impulses, no matter how strong they felt in the moment.

With a deep breath, Levi settled back onto the pillow, keeping his arm around you but maintaining the distance between your faces. He stared up at the ceiling, his mind racing, the weight of the unspoken emotions pressing heavily on his chest.

As you shifted slightly in your sleep, your hand still clutching his shirt, Levi closed his eyes, trying to push away the longing that had nearly overtaken him.

But the truth lingered, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it: after all these years, he had never really let you go. 

He ran a hand through his hair, a mix of concern and something else flickering in his eyes before he carefully stood up from the bed, turned and quietly walked into his bathroom. He got two things, a cleanser and some cotton. 

He walked back to the bed, seeing you sleeping soundly. Gently, he sat down beside you and began to wipe the makeup off your face. He’s careful not to wake you, not applying too much pressure. He’s seen you do this back in college, telling him that makeup should always be removed before bed. If he could change your clothes he would as well. But you looked comfortable enough in his jacket. 

Levi walked back into the living room when he was done, his mind oddly restless despite the quiet of the apartment. He sat down on the couch, staring out the window at the city lights outside, knowing that tonight had been different. He didn’t know why he had brought you here instead of waking you up or why he had come to fetch you in the first place. He didn’t know why he didn’t refuse Hange’s call knowing that you were together. He didn’t know why he even dressed up and ran to your side without question. There were a lot of things he didn’t know and didn’t understand. Most of all, he doesn’t understand how you still have a hold of him like this all over the years you were gone. And to be honest, it angered him but mostly, it scared him. 

But as the minutes passed and the apartment remained still, he figured maybe it didn’t matter. And whatever questions you have, he'll figure it out tomorrow. For now, you were safe. And that was enough.

© levisolace. please do not copy, translate, claim any of my works. my works are cross-posted only on my ao3 account. thank you.

is it gonna be hange's wedding next chapter?? 😩💗💓

Not yet. But it will be Hange’s Bachelorette Party and more! 🫶

what day are you gonna upload??? I can't waittt ACKKKK

It's up now! <3

taglist: @carries-blenders-and-stuff @kyr0k0 @heartsforlevi @thvunaise @thecrowestnest13 @queenofthepieraids @l0velymia @halibanana @manicur3d @hiqhkey @topmeyelena @domfikelover911 (i know it's been so long idk if u guys still wanted to be tagged but i had the taglist so i'm dropping it just in case <3)

[3] Expendable Hearts (Levi x F!Reader)

Chapter 3: Ten Things I Hate About You

WC: 7,455 Chapter Warnings: flashback, drinking, college sassy levi, fluff? Summary: Everyone in Levi's life knows he only ever dated one girl and that she left him wrecked, bitter, and heartbroken. Many years later, she's back in his life and he doesn't know what to do. Note: Let's all pretend the update didn't take a year. I think this chapter can be read as a stand alone if you want to read college Levi. ^^

story masterlist | prev chapter > next chapter

You had a plan. 

College means endless possibilities. College means that you’re free from your family. College means that you can finally focus on yourself. College means that you could finally make friends. To set this plan of making lifelong friendships in motion, you figured that the first step was to attend an actual party. A messy party with booze, beer pong, and unsupervised new adults like the ones you see in movies. The thought of  it was enough to make you feel uneasy and dizzy enough to actually vomit before even stepping a foot inside the horrible place. But hey, it wouldn’t be so bad, right? 

You’re in the middle of drinking (or at least pretending to) with a few fellow freshmen girls you met. They looked pretty. Really pretty. With luscious hair, long lashes, and glossy lips that were in contrast to the extent of how much you could fix yourself with a brush, a lip and cheek tint, and an eyebrow pencil. 

You weren’t really following the conversation very much, just chiming in with a few words and chuckle here and there. They were talking about boys, a topic you were not excited for. You’re only here to make friends, you can’t fathom jumping to getting acquainted to testosterone-filled human beings so soon. That hasn't even crossed your mind. 

A call to your name snapped you out of your worries. Your heart beats faster. Oh shit. They were gonna ask you something. Your relationship history, maybe? It’s fine. You can just say you haven’t dated anyone. It won’t be weird. A lot of people actually stay single throughout high school. So what if you’re a virgin? That’s a social construct. It’s fine. Yeah. Just act chill.

“What about you? What’s your type?” 

Oh. 

You chuckled awkwardly, eyes frantic and you held your canned beer tighter. You didn’t expect that question. This entire situation is beginning to feel like a job interview. Fuck. What is your type? Even you yourself don’t know that. Fuck. They’d find me weird if I say I don’t know or I haven’t thought about it, right? 

You look around, looking at the men to decide right then and there what attracts you the most. 

For fuck’s sake, just pick anything or anyone, you tell yourself. 

And then you spot someone familiar. He’s standing against the wall, holding a cup to his chest, chatting with a guy much taller than him. From the looks of it, he isn’t enjoying the party that much. He was probably dragged along into it. 

For reasons you don’t even know yourself, you panic and point to the steel-eyed man with the undercut. 

“Him,” you raise your voice a little to make them hear you beyond the booming top hits music. 

Levi Ackerman. 

He was from your highschool. A famous slacker with high grades. Well, not as high as yours but given his misdemeanor and laziness, it’s actually commendable how he got into this university. You don’t actually like him like that. You barely even spoke to him. Just call it a moment of weakness—you panicked and pointed to the first familiar person you saw and that was him. 

“Hm. He’s hot. A little on the shorter side but very hot.” One of the girls nodded and winked at you. You chuckled as a response and chugged down your beer in frustration. The alcoholic drink is bitter on your tongue. You don’t like it very much and you don’t understand the hype around the bitter drink but due to the lie you just spat out, you couldn’t help but feel thirsty. 

Feeling someone’s eyes burning holes behind your head, you turned your head back in Levi’s direction. He was looking at you and your companions. From the looks of it, he had heard what your conversation was about. He pushed himself off the wall and you wondered what he’d do. Maybe he’d walk over to you and confront you about it? 

Well, he didn’t do that. Instead, he did the most ridiculous thing. 

Levi, that motherfucker, flipped you off and intentionally walked out of your sight with a pointed glare.

Fortunately, your potential friends didn’t see, having been too caught up in their next topic that you weren’t able to follow. Your mouth gaped open, shocked and offended at Levi’s reaction. A wave of embarrassment runs through you. Did you just get harshly rejected by that asshole? Was he like this to everyone who he hears has a crush on him? No wonder you didn’t hear anything about him dating back in high school. What an arrogant prick. 

The rest of the first semester of University was easily spent out of the sight of the steel-eyed man. The university was big enough for the two of you not to cross paths. It wasn’t until you found a job in the middle of the semester as a server in a restaurant in Paradis that fate decided that Levi was to be thrusted into your life again. 

Kuchel’s used to be a small restaurant famous in Paradis City.

Kuchel, the kind woman who owns it, was kind enough to hire you and treat you like her daughter. The work was tasking but it paid you enough to live well. Your grandmother’s savings could only take you so far and you had food, school supplies, and commute fees to worry about. Yes, you still lived with your grandmother. That was a choice. Your stupid father up and went when you started high school, disappearing to god knows where, leaving you in your grandmother’s care. Your grandmother was living well enough, not quite rich but had enough to be living in a small house in Paradis. She’s lived here all her life, generations of your family owning that lot and home. Even if she insisted that you try out the dorms, you still wanted to check up on her and just commute every day. 

You loved your grandmother’s food but holy shit… Kuchel is amazing. Her food is to die for. A lot of big people in Paradis would come by and give pretty good tips. 

The first time you saw Levi there, he greeted you with an insult to your cleaning. 

“So, you’re the new hire. Ma should be thinking twice before hiring incompetent college students.” He said. He glanced under the counter of the cashier where you just finished cleaning, swiping his two fingers there. He then frowned at the thin layer of dust that coated the pad of his fingers, showing them to you after. 

You froze by the doorway of the supply room but not because of his disappointment or his unprovoked insult. He had always been rude to you for some reason. You don’t know why and it bothered you to the core for some reason. 

“Levi Ackerman,” you nod at him, intentionally ignoring his words. You got back to working, doing inventory of the supplies like you’re supposed to. 

He states your name back and you were a bit surprised he knew it. You guessed it was because you were always top of the class. Still, he has a good memory, doesn’t he? 

“You should know how to clean better.” He retracted back to his opening statement. You huffed, eyes only on your checklist. 

“Duly noted, Ackerman,” you replied impassively, not sparing him another glance. 

He didn’t reply after that, leaving to greet his mother inside the small staff room. His mother had warned you about this happening. She said Levi is unbelievably strict about cleanliness and if he ever comes by, he will definitely have something to say about your cleaning. You can get past him calling out your cleaning skills but to call you an incompetent college student? That’s just below the belt. 

To make it short, the first few interactions you had with Levi Ackerman didn’t set you two up for friendship, much less a relationship.

It was only when you met Hange Zoe, the star-eyed girl from the Science department who often stopped by Kuchel’s to eat dinner. She’s one of your classmates in Philosophy class that would ask the most ridiculous (but valid) questions to the professor that never fails to make the class either curious or laugh. 

Hange Zoe was a curious delight and you were only thankful that being friends with her only mainly requires listening to whatever she was working on at the moment. And you did… most of the time. What can you say? You were a good listener. In a short amount of time, you found yourself gravitating next to her more than the other people you were hanging out with. Hange just made you feel safe and content. The others were nice but with others, you felt like you were always on your toes, just constantly adjusting your personality to relate with them. 

Hange began to have dinner with you during your break at Kuchel’s and if you two had time after, you’d study together too. Unlike you, Hange comes from a province with dreams of being a biologist. You never would’ve guessed as she seemed to be more adapted to city life than you who lived there all your life. When you told her that, she told you that she would often travel to  see some few friends here way before college started. 

Imagine your shock when the said friends dropped by one night at the restaurant.

Levi Ackerman and Erwin Smith sat in front of you at a booth one night, the former scowling at the confirmation that the girl Hange was meeting every night in his mother’s restaurant was indeed the annoying new hire. When Hange sensed the tension, she immediately nudged you and motioned to the two of you.

“Do you two know each other?” Hange asked, raising a brow excitedly. 

Levi scoffs, as if offended. “No.”

“Yes,” you reply at the same time as him. 

The tension only grew, the two of you glaring at each other like there were no other people sitting in your booth. There was no other person that ticked you off like the boy who had a perpetual scowl on his face. You still didn’t know why he’s so pissed at you since that incident at the party. Was it because your companions called him short? That wasn’t your fault. And it was kind of true, anyway. Not that you would say that to his face. His height, or anyone’s height, is the least of your concerns.

Smirking, you continued to piss him off. “He’s my crush.” 

Hange gasped and Erwin, the tall blonde stranger, stared at Levi in amusement. 

“Shut up.” Levi almost raised his voice in a rush to shush you. His face became red at his friends’ stare as he sent a dagger to your face while leaning a little bit, making you softly get out a short laugh.

“I’m kidding. Not anymore. He rejected me.” You tease him further, spewing some half-truths to keep them intrigued. 

“What? Levi!” Hange reached over to smack his arm lightly. Erwin was laughing now, shaking his head. Even in amusement, you realize poise is instilled in him.

“I said shut up,” Levi repeated, an embarrassed blush tinting his cheeks as he crossed his arms. “Tsk,” he adds, looking away from you.

You shrug. “Well, it’s fine. Really,” you tell the other two at the table. Levi grunted and turned his head to the side, muttering something inaudible to anyone. You paid it no mind, wanting to chat up the other guy at the table. 

“So, Erwin,” you change the topic to learn more about the blonde who had an incredibly straight posture. Seriously, the moment he sat down, towering over you even when seated, your body felt the urge to snap your spine into a straight line and correct your irreparable slouching.

With one question, you had Erwin talking about his academics and achievements. You were instantly captured by how he presents himself. He’s everything you wanted to be. Confident, smart, and approachable. You couldn’t help but be like a moth drawn to a flame. You wanted to know more about him. You wanted to be just like him. 

Before you knew it, the dinners with Hange and her best friends included lunches too. Then, it extended to hang outs in and outside campus. Eventually, the four of you were inseparable. The newest member of the university-wide student council, the crazy biology student, the short handsome grumpy campus crush, and you. 

“Levi!” Hange hollered, skipping while hand in hand with you.

“Babe!” You waved at Levi who was already scowling at the sight of you two. The crush thing eventually became an inside joke in your friend group with you constantly flirting with Levi in hopes of seeing his flushed but annoyed face. 

The university Christmas celebration is an end-of-the-semester celebration. It’s a tradition that the school is famous for. The hottest artists in the country are invited, booths of food and stores are invited in, and the best thing? It’s exclusive to the students and alumni of Paradis University only. 

The first Christmas festival at Paradis University, you spent it with your new friend group. 

When the two of you reached the pair, Erwin wrapped his arms around you in a friendly manner when he greeted you while Hange forced Levi into a hug. You don’t do the same. Only Hange can do that to Levi because literally no one can stop the girl. You give Levi a nod when you pull away from Erwin’s hug. 

“Hey, babe. Looking good.” You greeted Levi while your eyes went over his outfit. He wore a long sleeved turtle neck, a gray flannel, and slacks. 

“Tch.” He looks away uncomfortably, pink tinting his cheeks and the tip of his nose caused by the cold and your teasing.

The festival was as fun as the upperclassmen said it would be. You tried the fake tattoos, the snacks, and even got glow sticks as bracelets. (Hange had to force the bracelet on Levi’s wrists.)

As the night fell, the four of you were cramped with the other students in front of the stage because Hange insisted that she just had to see her favorite band nearby, much to Levi’s protests. 

You could easily be relaxing on a picnic mat still on the field but a little further away from the stage. Instead, you and Levi are squished together, no space between the two of you as the most awaited local pop band starts their set. Erwin and Hange were somewhere in front of the two of you, the taller two of your friend group probably had worked their way to the front of the crowd much easier. They unintentionally left you and Levi together amidst Hange’s effort to push herself through the crowd while using Erwin as a blocking sled. 

Somewhere at the start of the set, you notice Levi’s irritation. He isn’t really enjoying the lack of space. A little bit concerned, you leaned over to his ear. 

“Hey! You alright?” You asked, raising your voice so he could hear you over the booming music of the speakers. He turns his head, flinching to find your face so close to his but he calms immediately. 

“I’m fine,” he responds though his nostrils are flaring and his eyes are frantic, looking around the crowd. The rock band was starting to play their best streamed song and before they did, they asked the people to jump to the music when they asked to. 

You looked around, there was more crowd coming and you were near the stage already. Leaving now would be impossible. 

“Loosen up! It’s gonna be fine,” you tell him so he could relax. It was simple advice from a friend to a friend, if that’s what you two even are. 

Without thinking too much about it, you grabbed Levi’s hand. “Hey! Jump with me so we won’t lose each other.” You tell him, closing your fingers around his palm. He stares at you with wide eyes but the crowd screamed, distracting you to look at the stage before you can say anything else. 

He didn’t protest and clasped his hand around yours too. As the chorus part of the song came on, you found yourself jumping with the crowd while holding Levi’s hand. It was a fun mess. You haven’t had fun like that ever. You moved with the crowd, not even minding that Levi wasn’t jumping with you. 

In the back of your mind, you feared that you’ve gone too far by holding his hand. But you were having too much fun and if he didn’t want to, he could easily let your hand go. Besides that worry, there’s also this warmth creeping from your stomach to your cheeks as you raved with the crowd, singing along to the song. You couldn’t look at Levi. You don’t know why. You spared him a few glances but he was only staring ahead, a small smile on his face. He doesn’t seem to be as uncomfortable as earlier. 

When the band finished the song, the adrenaline dwindled down and you were heaving. You laughed and finally worked up the courage to look at your companion to check on him, your hands still clasped together. Just as you turned your head, ironically, the band started playing their famous slow love song and as the first line of the lyrics dropped, your eyes landed on him. 

He was already looking at you. 

His stare held yours in place, making you freeze in time. 

Side by side, you stand next to each other. The first thing you noticed is how his silver eyes sparkled under the moonlight and the glowing lights. The next thing is how his face uncharacteristically softened and relaxed, the creases on his forehead were absent and his mouth was no longer pressed into a thin line. Instead, his pink lips were slightly parted. 

Everyone around you seemed to blur. The loud music from the speakers was drowned out in your brain. You could only stare at him. It’s as if you two are actually seeing each other for the first time. And you are. 

Your cheeks heaten up as the weird feeling in your stomach is something you finally identify as butterflies. 

“Y-you okay?” You leaned to his ear as you were finally able to gather yourself. 

When you look back into his eyes, he doesn’t say anything. He only nodded, clearing his throat and looked back at the stage. 

As the band continued their set, he never let go of your hand. You didn’t either. Even when the band moved on to their livelier songs, you moved with the crowd with Levi still holding your hand. Even when the crowd loosened up, the two of you never moved away from each other, keeping the small distance between the two of you.

When the set of the band came to an end, Hange and Erwin quickly found you two. And as if there was a gravitational pull, it was like the two of you never shared an odd moment of intimacy. 

Glancing at Levi as Hange spoke about how the lead vocalist shook her hand, you take a glance at Levi who was doing anything to avoid your eyes. He’s looking around again. Probably to see if he can squeeze his way out of the crowd now. 

“Oh—oh! There you two are! We should take a picture!” Hange jumps in excitement, not even noticing the tension between the two of you. She had already put up her camera, waiting for the three of you to pose. 

You looked up and threw up a peace sign, smiling sweetly. Hange was in front, holding up the camera. Erwin was behind her a little. To compress, you shift closer next to Levi who was next to Erwin. When Hange was one second away from clicking, Erwin took it upon himself to wrap his humongous arm around the two of you, his hand landing on your shoulder and pulling you even closer to Levi, making your face squish to Levi’s. 

As the picture clicked, Levi wasn’t subtle with his protests, his palm pushing up Erwin’s chin to push him away and letting the two of you go. 

“Nobody cares about fucking personal space out here,” he muttered. You only chuckled, looking over Hange’s shoulder to see the picture. 

The picture that came out was funny. Levi was clearly uncomfortable with how your cheeks are squished together. He was in the middle of cringing, face scrunched up in disgust. On the other hand, your eyes are wide in surprise and about to gasp. Hange and Erwin were grinning wide and unbothered. You liked it but you wouldn’t admit that.

“What the hell. Let’s take another one! I look like shit,” you complained. 

You took another one with the four of you. This time, it was simple. Erwin held up the camera, making the angle much further than the last. There was no need to squeeze together. (Not like there was a need earlier. Erwin’s just a dick.)

“That’s better,” you say. You can’t wait to show it to your grandmother. 

“Yeah, only if someone would wipe that frown from his face.” Hange side-eyed Levi. 

And then an idea popped into your head. You can take pictures with them individually. That would be fun to show to your grandma. She’s been dying to get to know your friends.

“Hange, we should take a picture!” You ask her and Hange squealed a yes, pushing Erwin to take the picture for you who happily obliged, even holding up Hange’s camera like a father with both hands on the horizontally angled device, leaning forward with his ass in the air. 

Hange put her arms around you and you did the same. You pressed the side of your foreheads together. With your free hands, you both put up a thumbs up. Then a heart. Then a peace sign. 

After multiple pictures with Hange, you asked for one with Erwin too. The taller man put his arm around your shoulder and you slid your arm around his waist. As you successfully dragged the two to a picture with you, your eyes shifted to Levi who was watching by the side. You give him a look.

“Fuck no.” Levi told you, moving away when you got closer to him.

You frowned, grabbing his arm to pull him back. “Come on! Consider it my Christmas gift from you.” 

“I wasn’t planning on giving you anything,” he grumbled. 

Hange was already ready to take the picture. Realizing it’s better to be over with it before Levi runs away again, you posed. You don’t put your arms around him or pull him closer, afraid that he might not appreciate the lack of personal space. Instead, you decided to stick with smiling and forming half a heart with your hand. Levi doesn’t complete it, of course. He crossed his arms, glaring at the camera when it clicked. 

That photo was the first photo you had with Levi Ackerman. And that same photo was framed and is now somewhere in a box that’s hidden deep in your closet. 

As you get ready for work the next morning, you stare at the stack of boxes in your closet. Right at the bottom of it lies a memory lane you haven’t traveled in forever. You couldn’t. Not anymore. 

With a heaving sigh, you close your closet door and head over to work. 

Work was okay enough. You can definitely see yourself working with ODM for a long time. If you can patch things up with Levi, maybe you can accept the regularization offer without any guilt. If that doesn’t happen, you can just ignore each other or go back to Trost. You’re sure you can work something out to have Vanessa accept you again. 

You do not like Levi Ackerman. 

How could you? He’s grumpy. He’s rude. He’s lazy unless he’s cleaning. He doesn’t have any dreams. How could you like someone like him? 

However, ever since you got home after the christmas university event, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. You couldn’t stop thinking about how he looked under the moonlight. The way it hit his gray eyes and how his cheeks looked so soft. You couldn’t stop thinking about him and how the two of you never spoke about that moment you shared back there. There was definitely something different in the air that night. Yeah. That must be it. It was probably the lack of space and oxygen that made you believe the funny feeling in your stomach are butterflies. 

So, no, you do not like Levi Ackerman. Not like that anyway. Maybe you’re finally seeing him as a friend? Besides, if you’d have a crush on a friend, it’d be Erwin. 

“Whatcha thinking of, Greenie?” Hange asked as she plopped herself on the couch next to you, handing you a cup of a drink they mixed. You’re at some party hosted in a club a little bit away from campus. You should probably be doing better things than attending a christmas frat party but somehow, Hange dragged the three of you along “for the experience,” as she said. 

“Nothing,” you reply, sipping from the red cup. You immediately winced, contemplating whether to spit the drink out or swallow it. You went with the latter but not without making a disgusted face. “Fuck. What’s in this?” 

“I mixed it,” Hange laughed maniacally. 

Your mouth parts as you look at her and you nod. That makes sense, you think. You look down at the color of the drink, unable to identify just what color it is under the lighting of the party. “This shit’s fucking poisonous, Hange. Were you planning to kill me?” 

“Yeah, drop that. Here.” 

Levi suddenly appears with Erwin, standing next to you and handing you a can of a fruit flavored beer. 

Like a dumbass, your mouth gaped and your cheeks heated up, realizing that he’s finally here. You accept the cold beverage, not missing how your fingers lightly grazed his. 

“Thank god,” you grumbled, setting down the cup on the side table of the couch. 

“Hey, there was a free table of alcohol! Sorry, I got too excited.” Hange says and drinks from her cup, somehow finding it bearable, knowing her, maybe even delicious. You cringed at the sight until Levi pushed her forehead up with a finger, pulling her mouth away from the drink.

“This is a frat party, Hange. God knows what they put in there. Only get your own sealed drinks. Preferably bought by our group.” Levi scolded and snatched the cup away from Hange. He picked up yours too and walked away. 

Hange pouted beside you and stayed silent. No one said anything because it wasn’t too long until Levi came back, no longer holding the cups. He must’ve thrown them away properly. 

You feel that odd feeling in your stomach again. He might’ve looked annoyed—maybe even belittling but the worry in his face is evident. There’s this… safety that you feel the more you hang out with him. A feeling of being cared for that made you feel comfortable, a state that you find both refreshing and uneasy. 

Suddenly, Levi pushed you sideways, forcing you to scoot and let him sit. You glared at him but gave him space, anyway. He sits down, the space only enough for your thighs to touch. His denim pants are rough against your bare legs that were exposed by the skirt you were wearing. 

“Hello to you too,” you told him off and he ignored you, looking around the club. Erwin perched his ass down at the edge of the couch right on the hand rest, loosely wrapping an arm around Levi’s shoulders.

“Should we do shots?” Erwin asked suddenly, looking at the three of you. You shake your head. 

“I saw the menu. One bottle of vodka is my salary at Kuchel’s for a damn week.” You’re not gonna waste your money on alcohol. Though you have to admit that it’s one thing you want to try at least once in your life. 

“It'll be my treat,” Erwin suggested and Hange immediately hollered and shouted a yes to Erwin. You couldn’t reject it anymore. 

Erwin ordered for the four of you. A little later, he comes back with the bottle of tequila along with four shot glasses, some lemon and salt. Honestly, why did the four of you go here if you’re just going to drink with one another? You could’ve easily done this somewhere quieter where you don’t have to watch the girls eyeing Erwin and Levi like a hawk.

You couldn’t blame them. They looked dashing. When Hange told you that she got an invite to the club, she pressed that all of you should dress up. 

Erwin wore a simple long sleeve white shirt with a few buttons opened at the top paired with washed blue  jeans. His hair is subtly gelled, only messed up in a way that looks good but still evidently styled. Levi wore something similar with a darker shade, a long sleeved black shirt and black jeans. Only two of his buttons are opened, showing off his collarbones and the soft pale skin underneath the material of his shirt. His hair is fixed the same way he always does. But his undercut never failed in any look. 

You heard a few girls giggling when they passed by your table. Some even winking at your male companions. Some even at Hange (who winked back delightly). She looked both beautiful and handsome at the same time.

Three shots after, you were definitely feeling the alcohol in your system. The lights in the club do nothing to help the state of your head. You decide to slow down, refusing any shot offered to you. 

A few people Hange, Erwin, and Levi knows approach the table. You’ve already known them to be Miche and Nanaba but you never really hung out with them before. They were there to ask if the four of you wanted to join them on the dance floor and rave along with them. 

“I’m fine here,” Levi rejected the invitation. You look at him. Hange and Erwin already agreed and went. That leaves you and Levi together, still being persuaded by the new pair. 

“Oh, come on, grumpycakes. It’s almost your birthday! Let loose!” Nanaba whined and your eyes widened, staring at her.

“Birthday?” you asked then looked at Levi. “It’s your birthday?” 

Levi groaned and threw his head back. “Look what you’ve fucking done, Nanaba.” He then looks at you and deadpanned. “No. It’s not today.” 

“It’s on Christmas!” Miche chimed in, laughing and patting Levi on the back. 

Your mouth dropped at the information. “Your birthday is on the 25th?” 

“No.” 

“Yes.” Miche answered for him.

“Levi here hates celebrating his birthday. He thinks it’s awkward and unnecessary.” Nanaba adds. 

“Wow.” You couldn’t help yourself but say it, grinning. “You literally have the same birthday as the lord and savior himself and yet you don’t have a single kindness in your body.” 

The entire table laughs. Miche pats you on the head. “I knew I liked you, Greenie. You sure you don’t want to hit the dance floor with us?” He invites you.

Before you could reply you hear Nanaba try and persuade Levi again to get off his ass. 

“Come on, Levi. Petra’s there.” 

You froze, your head turning to your left where Levi sat. His eyes are wide and his lips are parted, redness tinting his cheeks. Then, he sees you staring and his face drops, his expression clearly showing he’s uncomfortable. Whoever this Petra is, he’s not fond of you knowing about her. But why? And who is she? 

“Oh! Yes! I saw Petra too. You have a crush on her, don’t you?” Miche adds in. 

“F-Fuck you.” Levi could only stammer out, looking away from your gaze as you look at him with a bewildered expression. If you were in an unfazed state, you would’ve already said something to annoy Levi. But for now, all you could do was try to get the words you heard past the alcohol and into your system. 

Crush. He has a crush. 

A sinking feeling rambled in your chest and you got the urge to grasp at your chest. Oh. Fuck. Why do you feel like crying? Why is there literal and physical pain in your heart right now? 

You tuned out anything they say, only seeing Nanaba point at someone in the middle of the club. She’s pretty. Short haired and ginger. She’s with her girl friends, singing and dancing along to the music with them. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Jealousy. 

Shit. 

You like Levi?

Oh, fuck. 

You like Levi. 

It was getting suffocating. You didn’t know what to do. So you stood up. 

You don’t say anything. You just downed another shot of tequila, got on your feet, and headed over to where Hange is. Hange cheered when she saw you and spun you around. The crowd wasn’t as suffocating as the realization of your feelings for Levi—your unrequited feelings for Levi. 

You went along with whatever Hange was doing, screaming along the lyrics of whatever was playing. Closing your eyes and letting the alcohol and flashing lights lose your senses, moving your hips to the rhythm. 

As you were dancing, your mind drifts back to the concert and how intimate it felt to you. To you. How stupid were you to give meaning to something so… nothing?

As you try your best to distract yourself, you bump into someone. He’s tall and you laugh and say sorry. He looks down at you and smirks, lightening up when he sees your face. 

“No. It’s my fault. Sorry!” He replied, shouting and leaning to your ear so you could hear him over the music.

“It’s fine!” you shout back at him and flashed him a smile. 

“You from Paradis U?” He shouts again and you nod. 

“Yeah. You?” He nods. 

You exchanged names. His name is Gian and he’s a second-year engineering student. He’s good looking and tall, definitely more than 6 feet. Fair skinned with long dark hair tied up in a manbun, revealing the multiple piercings on his ears. He’s wearing a simple and fitted black shirt and jeans, showing off the muscles of his biceps. Everything is telling you that he’s bad news but you don’t seem to care at the moment. Besides, he might not be interested in you anyway. 

You introduce him to Hange and he happily gets to know her. Somehow, Nanaba and Miche but without Levi. You badly want to look at the table you left, eyes always seeming to look for him everywhere. However, you know better than to see he’s not there and already spending time with the redhead he has a crush on. 

“Hey,” Gian leans into your ear again. “You have a boyfriend or something?” 

A little shocked and curious why he would ask that, you leaned in to ask. “What?” you shout over the music.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Gian repeated, louder this time with his face over yours after he said the words so he could see your reaction. It seemed to please him when your face flushed red. 

“Oh! Yeah. I mean, no. No. I’m single.” You curse yourself at your stammering response. 

Great, I must have looked like a total loser when I opened my mouth.  

A little panicked because this is the first time someone showed their interest to you this way, your eyes looked for Hange for help. When you do, you see her throwing you a thumbs up while Nanaba silently cheers you on with her fists. You even see her mouth what seems to be like a ‘Go get it, girl!’.

He pulls himself closer to you and leans into your ear, this time he doesn’t shout because his lips were close enough to kiss your ear but not quite touch.

“That’s good because I think you look really hot in your skirt,” he whispered, lips almost kissing your ear. His voice, rough and deep, sent chills down your spine and parted your lips in anticipation for the attention he’s giving you. 

The back of your mind is screaming a name, hoping you would see him—hoping he would see you. But you know that now, it’s impossible. He doesn’t want you like that. 

So you pull yourself closer to the named stranger, your bodies flush against each other. A stray hand presses down on your back, sliding down to your behind where it squeezes, making you gasp. 

“Oh!” You didn’t really expect that he would touch you like that. 

Gian’s hand inches away from you in less than a second like it was scorched by fire, face laced with embarrassment and apology. “Sorry, too far?” 

You were unfamiliar with being touched like that but everyone around you seemed to be getting it on. Looking around, the people on the dance floor were doing worse. It’s a place where people go to do things like this, you should let loose. 

“No, no,” you answer quickly. “It’s fine. Just surprised me s’all.”

The man in front of you let out a breath of relief and continued roaming his hands around your body, his face buried in your neck. You were relaxing into it, trying to appease yourself in this type of closure. 

“Greenie.” 

Your head whipped around to the deep voice calling you. Levi stands there, not too close but even your company could feel the threat looming in his impassive cold stance. It was enough to make you keep a distance with Gian as if you were doing something wrong.

“Levi,” it came out more of a whisper. You weren’t even sure if Gian even heard it. 

The silver-eyed man steps closer this time, maybe so you can hear him. “Erwin is not feeling well. I think we should go. Where’s Hange?” He looks around the crowd, looking for Hange. Or avoiding your eyes because of the lie. 

You found that hard to believe because it’s Erwin. That man never gets sick. His daily vitamins and supplements are scheduled and he holds his alcohol really well. Maybe the best drinker out of the four of you. 

“Oh,” you choose to believe anyway. “I guess we should. Uhm…” You face Gian. “I’m sorry. This is my friend, Levi.” 

Gian doesn’t hide the disappointment in his face but smiles anyway. “Don’t even worry about it. Sup, bro? I’m Gian.” 

Levi only nods in acknowledgement, nothing ill-mannered when it comes to him. He always acts this way with every new person he meets. 

“I guess I’ll see you around, Gian.” You smile up at him. Before he can respond, the crowd fills up more as the DJ puts on a popular club song, pushing Levi to you. Discomfort creeps into Levi’s face and unconsciously, he reaches for your wrist for some familiarity.

“Let’s go,” he says with an irritated look on his face. 

“Wait.” Gian places a hand on your shoulder. “You’re on Facebook, right?”

You nod and before you can say anything else, Levi was already dragging you out of the crowd. You hear Gian shout out a follow that he’ll find you there before looking at the man ahead of you, holding your wrist tightly but not so much that it hurts. 

As you follow Levi, you pass by your table where you see a very much sober-looking Erwin who stared into your eyes knowingly with a smirk and his arm around a girl’s shoulder you don’t know. Hange can’t be found anywhere. Miche and Nanaba as well. It didn’t look like the group was getting ready to leave at all.  

You try and tug your hand out of his grip, protesting as you walk through the night club. When you finally reach the outside of the club, the cold air hits your skin, setting goosebumps all over. Levi finally lets go, his back still turned to you. 

“What the hell is going on, Levi?” There’s a slight shiver to your question, your arms coming up to protect yourself from the cold. 

He doesn’t turn around, standing still in front of you. 

“Hey—” 

“Let’s go home.” He turns without looking at you, attempting to walk off without even uttering an explanation as to why he insists that the two of you go home. 

Unwilling to accept his orders, you huff and grab him by the shoulder, halting his steps. “I am not going home! What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Then go back inside. Fuck!” He shrugs your hand off his shoulder, glaring at you for a second before looking away again. This is a mood from Levi you can’t read. You’ve seen him annoyed. You’ve seen him irritated. You’ve even seen him happy. But this one, you can’t understand. And you have a feeling that it’s because of you. And that sets an uneasy feeling in your chest. Levi and you always fight but he was still a friend.

“What’s gotten into you, Levi?” Your voice softens, as if cowering. It must be the alcohol (or that poison drink Hange gave you) in your system that had your walls down for a moment. Levi has also never seen you like this. It’s without doubt that his sudden attitude scared you. 

“It’s…” He paused. The thought of scaring you made him clear his thoughts a little. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into him. “Nothing.” 

You weren’t satisfied with his answer, you made sure he gets that with your answer. “It’s not nothing.” 

“Why do you hate me so much?” The softness of your voice surprised him, it’s far from your usual behavior with him. It’s like you were baring yourself, the alcohol you guess is doing the work. 

There is deafening silence for a few seconds, the cold doing nothing to help the situation. He takes a step closer, brows furrowed and a frown painted on his face. 

“I don’t hate you.” He hissed, as if you said something offensive to him. 

Your jaw clenched, biting your words in frustration. “You do!” You keep the distance closer. “You hate me because I’m not well off. Like I’m not fucking worthy of your time because I don’t come from money like you.” 

“That’s not at all true,” he argues, equally frustrated now. “Is that what you think of me? A pompous elitist?” 

No, I don’t think that. Maybe at first… but not anymore. 

“Yes.”

“Well, you’re fucking wrong,” he blanks. “You know what? I do hate you.”  

“I fucking hate you,” he repeats. “I’ve hated you since high school. It was awful. Seeing you try so hard, not making friends, and ignoring everyone who tries to get close. It was fine, really. I didn’t care. That’s your shitty life. And then you get here. And suddenly you’re in my life trying to be someone else. You get to my mom, my friends, my home. It’s so fucking annoying.” 

You’re stunned. Somewhere, somehow, you hear your heart breaking from a distance. For the second time that night, your chest tightens, but for a different type of pain. A pain that didn’t feel good as realized earlier.

“I fucking hate you.” As if it wasn’t enough, he repeats it. 

“I…” He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “I fucking hate that you’re in my head. All the fucking time.”

“You’re making me so insane that I just wish that you would stay away from me,” he ranted, eyes still closed so tight that his brows furrowed and forehead wrinkled. You can see how his cheeks and ears are red, blazing from intense cold or emotion. You weren’t sure. 

“But I… don’t really want you anywhere else.” 

The sound of your phone buzzing pulls you back to reality. Why now of all times were you reminiscing about how you and Levi came to be? At corporate lunch time at that. 

You reached for your phone, seeing a text from Hange. She was trying to schedule you with a tailor to have the bridesmaid dress of the girl who canceled refitted to your body. You send her your schedule, not having a lot of time left on both the wedding and your time availability. 

After a few minutes, you received a text back from Hange. 

Great! I scheduled you on Sunday, 10AM! Levi will pick you up and come with you. Love ya! 

Oh, Hange. I’m gonna fucking kill you.

© levisolace. please do not copy, translate, claim any of my works. my works are cross-posted only on my ao3 account. thank you.

taglist: @carries-blenders-and-stuff @kyr0k0 @heartsforlevi @thvunaise @misera-libera

[6] Expendable Hearts (Levi x F!Reader)

Chapter 6: Busy Nights

WC: 6664 Chapter Warnings: just angst again Summary: Everyone in Levi's life knows he only ever dated one girl and that she left him wrecked, bitter, and heartbroken. Many years later, she's back in his life and he doesn't know what to do. Note: Levi POV in this chapter !! ^^ Oh, and unfortunately, there will probably no update until after the 17th of October. I have uni exams and my study schedule is clashing with work so I probably won't time have time to write until then. See you until then! (We're gonna get more angsty and a little steamy(?) when I come back, I promise.)

story masterlist | prev chapter > next chapter

Over the next few days, you found yourself checking your phone more than usual, a small flicker of anticipation stirring each time you saw a new message. On Wednesday afternoon, Kuchel finally texted you the details of the dinner, and to your surprise, it wasn’t at the restaurant.

Would dinner at my place this Thursday be good? 7PM. Just us. Don’t bring anything—just yourself. See you then. —Kuchel

You stared at the message for a moment, blinking. Kuchel’s home? You hadn’t expected something so personal, but it made sense. After all, this wasn’t just any casual dinner. It was a reunion, an intimate moment to reconnect outside the hustle and noise of her now-bustling restaurant.

A mix of emotions bubbled up as you responded with a quick response.

Sounds perfect. I’ll be there.

As the dinner date drew closer, you found yourself thinking about Kuchel more than you expected. Memories from the time you worked at her small, then unassuming restaurant resurfaced—late nights closing up, chats over coffee while you helped her organize orders, Levi’s rare moments of humor in between his sharp instructions. It all seemed so distant now, like a chapter of your life that belonged to someone else.

A couple of minutes after confirming the dinner with Kuchel, another message buzzed on your phone, pulling you from the stack of legal documents you’d been reviewing. You glanced at the screen and saw Hange’s name pop up and you remember she has been pestering you about her bachelorette party. She kept sending the same message everyday for the past week.

Heyyy! Guess what? You’re invited to my bachelorette party! 🎉🎉 It’s going to be WILD. Be there, or I’ll hunt you down!! This Saturday at 8 PM. The details are attached here. Can’t wait to see you!!

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you read the message. Hange hadn’t changed one bit. She always had this vibrant energy that could light up any room, and apparently, she was bringing that energy to her bachelorette party. The thought of attending the event tugged at something inside you—an old camaraderie, a time when things were simpler, messier, but undeniably fun.

The idea of being surrounded by familiar faces again—of slipping back into that old rhythm—both excited and unsettled you. But Hange’s invitation was impossible to refuse. She had a way of pulling people into her orbit, and you knew this wouldn’t be any ordinary night. Besides, Levi won’t be there anyway.

As the day unfolded, the prospect of Kuchel’s dinner and Hange’s bachelorette party loomed closer, each event pulling you back into the life you once had here. It felt as though the city, with all its memories and relationships, was welcoming you back in layers—one familiar face at a time. And you don’t even know if you deserved it. 

—

When the evening finally arrived, you made your way to Kuchel’s home, which was tucked into a quiet neighborhood just a few blocks away from the restaurant. The walk there felt almost surreal, the streets of Stohess now familiar yet filled with memories. When you arrived, you found the house just as warm and inviting as the woman who owned it.

Kuchel’s home was modest, but there was a charm to it—plants lining the windowsills, warm lights glowing from inside, and the faint scent of cooking wafting out the front door. You took a deep breath and knocked.

The door swung open almost immediately, and there she was, smiling as though no time had passed at all.

“You made it,” Kuchel said, her voice bright as she stepped aside to let you in. “Come on in, the food’s almost ready.”

You stepped inside, taking in the cozy, lived-in feel of the space. Photos lined the walls, some of Levi as a boy, and others of what seemed to be old family gatherings. The warmth of the place wrapped around you, instantly putting you at ease.

“I haven’t been here in so long,” you said softly, looking around.

Kuchel smiled as she led you into the kitchen, where a simple but delicious-smelling meal was simmering on the stove. “I figured it’d be nice to have dinner somewhere quiet. We can talk without the restaurant noise, and besides, I’ve been meaning to catch up with you for a long time.”

As you took a seat at her kitchen table, Kuchel poured you a glass of wine, her movements graceful and familiar. “It’s been too long. You’ve done so much since you left, and I want to hear everything.”

You smiled, settling into the moment. “There’s a lot to catch up on,” you admitted. “But I want to hear about you, too. Kuchel’s has grown so much—I couldn’t believe it when I saw how busy it was the other night.”

Kuchel laughed softly as she joined you at the table. “Levi deserves most of the credit for that. He’s been the driving force behind the expansion. I never imagined we’d get this far, honestly. But enough about work—for tonight, let’s treat each other like the old times.” 

You took a sip of your wine, feeling the warmth of the room and the comfort of Kuchel’s presence sink in. “It’s been a whirlwind,” you began, knowing that this evening would be one of reconnection, not just with Kuchel, but with the parts of yourself that you’d left behind when you moved away. You began to tell her what happened like how you tell it to everyone, how you left the city, moved your grandma, went to law school, how your grandma died, and how you began to work in Trost. 

And as the night unfolded, with laughter and stories shared over a lovingly prepared meal, you realized how much you had missed this—missed her, and the sense of home that Kuchel had always provided.

As the dinner with Kuchel neared its end, the conversation had drifted from light-hearted reminiscing to more personal territory. You both shared a bottle of wine, laughter mixing with memories, but there was a point where the ease of the evening gave way to something deeper. Kuchel, always observant, seemed to notice the way your smiles didn’t quite reach your eyes, the way you hesitated before answering certain questions.

She set her glass down, her expression softening as the last bit of warmth from the meal filled the quiet space between you. “I’m really glad you’re back,” she said, her voice gentle but with an edge of seriousness. “You were with someone else when I first saw you but it’s been plaguing my mind so I came to ask you to meet me. I’m sorry, dear… I have to ask, how are you really doing?”

You looked down at your plate for a moment, the weight of the question settling in. Kuchel had always been able to read you, even when you didn’t want to be read. She wasn’t one for surface-level small talk—not with you.

“I’m fine,” you started, instinctively offering the answer you’d given everyone else. But Kuchel’s eyes didn’t waver, and the sincerity of her gaze made you pause. She wasn’t letting you get away with that.

She leaned forward slightly, resting her elbows on the table, her voice a little softer now. “I know it’s been a long time, and I don’t expect you to spill everything right now… but I can see it. You’ve been through something. So, how have you really been?”

The words hung in the air, and for the first time all night, you felt exposed. You hadn’t planned on opening up—not tonight, maybe not ever—but something about Kuchel’s quiet persistence, her maternal presence, made you feel safe enough to let the guard down.

“You know—and don’t tell Levi I told you this but… when the breakup happened, Levi didn’t take it well. And I never got to talk to you about it. But if Levi experienced that… it was probably bad for you too, wasn’t it?” She reached for your hand across the table, placing a comforting hand on yours, and caressing it with care and love of a mother. 

It took all of you to control your emotions right there and then. For Kuchel to say this, the curiosity of what Levi endured during those times that you broke things off and what happened to everyone after you left only became stronger, accompanied with greater guilt that you have always been carrying. You look away and take a deep breath, setting your own glass aside. “I… it was hard for me too, I admit.”

Kuchel nodded, not interrupting, just listening in that patient way of hers. It encouraged you to continue.

“When I left, it was all I could think of doing. But it feels like I just ran. Away from here, from everything. And now that I’m back, it’s like… all of it is catching up to me, and I don’t know what to do with it.”

You hadn’t meant to be so honest, but once the words started spilling out, it was hard to stop. Kuchel listened intently, her eyes filled with understanding, but she didn’t say anything right away.

“I knew there was more under the surface,” she said softly. “You’ve always been strong, but sometimes it’s okay to stop carrying it all alone. I can see it’s hard to tell what really happened and I—we can wait. There’s still people that love you here. You can find your way back to them.”

Her words hit deeper than you expected, and for the first time in a while, you felt a small sense of relief—a release of the tension you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. It was comforting, having someone like Kuchel, who knew you before the layers of adulthood and responsibility piled on.

“Thanks,” you whispered, your voice barely above a murmur. “I guess I just needed to hear that.”

Kuchel smiled warmly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. But don’t keep it bottled up either. You’ve got people here who care, people who are still part of your life—whether it’s me, or Hange, or whoever else. Don’t be a stranger.”

You nodded, feeling the sincerity in her words settle over you like a warm blanket. There was something about the way she said it that made you believe it.

The evening ended on a note of quiet understanding, Kuchel walking you to the door with a promise to see each other again soon. As you stepped out into the night, the weight on your shoulders felt just a little lighter, knowing that at least here, in this corner of your past, you had someone who understood—someone who saw through the cracks and cared enough to reach out.

—

After saying your goodbyes to Kuchel and leaving her cozy home, the cool night air greeted you as you stepped out of the cab in front of your apartment. The streets were quiet, only the occasional flicker of distant headlights passing by, the buzz from your dinner still lingering in your mind. Kuchel's words played over and over in your head—her gentle insistence that you didn’t have to carry everything alone. You felt lighter, as if some invisible weight had been lifted, but also heavy with the realization that coming back to the city meant dealing with more than just the people from your past. It meant facing the reality that this is the present–your current situation, something you can no longer run away from. 

As you rounded the corner of your street, something caught your eye—a familiar silhouette, leaning casually against the building. At first, you thought you were imagining it, the streetlights casting long shadows that distorted the figure. But as you approached, the figure became clearer, the unmistakable stance of someone you hadn't expected to see, but somehow weren’t surprised by.

Levi.

He stood there, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his expression as unreadable as ever, but there was a tension in his posture that told you this wasn’t just a casual visit. His dark eyes flicked up as you approached, locking onto yours with the same intensity you remembered. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you heavy with unspoken words.

“What are you doing here?” you finally asked, your voice quieter than you intended, but firm enough to mask the sudden rush of emotions swirling inside you.

Levi pushed off from the wall, standing straighter as he took a few slow steps toward you. 

"How was the dinner?" he asked, the words falling out more out of habit than genuine curiosity. He didn't need to know about the dinner, not really. He just needed to say something.

“You knew?” You blinked, surprised that he even knew about it. Then you remembered, of course—Levi was always aware of things, especially when it came to Kuchel. He probably knew you'd be seeing her tonight even if she didn’t tell him. 

"It was nice," you said, carefully, as if you were trying not to give too much away. "Kuchel’s doing well."

Levi nodded, his gaze shifting for a second, as though considering whether to say something more. But instead, he settled on something simple. "Good."

Another silence stretched between you, longer this time. It was clear he wasn’t going to explain why he’d really come. Maybe you didn’t need to ask—maybe it didn’t matter. But the tension between you felt thick, almost suffocating. The years apart hadn’t erased anything. You can still feel the immeasurable amount of love he has for his mother. In honesty, you’d expected him to be angry that you reconnected with Kuchel. But of course, this was Levi. If it’s mother’s happiness or want, he would never question or fault her for it. 

Levi nodded, staring down at the ground for a beat, shoving his hands back into his jacket pockets. There was no reason for him to stay, but he lingered, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The streets were quiet, save for the distant hum of the city around you both.

"You didn’t have to come all the way out here," you said, breaking the silence, your voice soft but carrying a note of hesitation. You didn’t ask him outright why he was there, but it was implied.

Levi shrugged, his eyes meeting yours briefly before drifting off again. "Maybe I did."

You swallowed, not sure how to respond to that. For all of Levi’s usual bluntness, there was always something deeper that he never quite let show. Something that made it impossible to fully walk away from him, even when you thought you had. 

“Get some rest,” Levi said after a moment, his voice quieter now, almost softer. “You look awful.”

He gave you a curt nod and turned to walk away, leaving you standing there, feeling like something had just shifted between you. Something unspoken, unresolved, and maybe destined to remain that way.  

—

The night of Hange’s bachelorette party arrived with the kind of energy that made the air feel electric. You stood outside the venue, a trendy rooftop bar in the heart of the city, the neon lights of Stohess Street reflected in the glass walls behind you. The place had been transformed—streamers, lights, and enough champagne to fill a small pool. You took a deep breath before stepping inside, knowing that wherever Hange was, chaos was sure to follow.

As you entered, you were immediately hit by a wave of laughter, music, and the unmistakable sound of Hange’s voice ringing out over the crowd. The space was filled with friends, both familiar faces and new ones, all gathered to celebrate. You spotted her almost immediately—Hange was at the center of the room, a crown of flowers on her head and a glass of champagne in hand, already in full party mode.

“There she is!” Hange’s voice rang out as she spotted you from across the room, her face lighting up as she waved you over. She was wearing a sash that read “Bride-to-Be” in glittering letters, and her energy was contagious. “I thought you’d never make it! Come here!”

You smiled, weaving through the crowd of partygoers to reach her. Before you could say a word, Hange pulled you into a tight hug, nearly spilling her champagne in the process.

“I told you it’d be wild!” she laughed, stepping back to take you in. “Look at you! You clean up well.”

“Thanks, Hange,” you said, unable to help but smile at her infectious enthusiasm. “This is… a lot.”

“Only the best for my bachelorette!” she declared, spinning around to show off the venue. “We’ve got drinks, food, and games—oh, and don’t forget the karaoke later.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Karaoke?”

Hange grinned wickedly. “Oh yeah, it’s happening. And you will sing, my friend.”

Before you could protest, Nanaba appeared beside you, already holding a glass of champagne for you. “She’s not kidding about the karaoke. Start thinking of your song now,” she teased, handing you the glass. “Long time no see, girl.”

You took it, laughing softly. “Oh my god, Nanaba,” you greet her with a hug. She hugs you back.

Everyone began to greet you. Out of all the attendees, you only knew Nanaba who thankfully treated you kindly like it hasn’t been years since you’ve last seen each other. Tonight, it will all be about Hange, that’s what she said. 

The party was in full swing, with drinks flowing and people chatting in every corner. You settled into the crowd, reminiscing about college days with Nanaba and meeting new girls, but the chaotic energy of the evening was starting to grow on you. Every time you glanced at Hange, she was in the middle of some new adventure—whether it was a game, making an impromptu speech, or trying to rope someone into a dance-off.

As the night went on, you found yourself at the bar, taking a moment to breathe. That’s when Hange sidled up beside you, a mischievous glint in her eye. “So,” she started, leaning on the bar, “I heard you and Levi ran into each other recently.”

You froze for a second, surprised she’d brought it up. Of course, Hange would know. “Yeah… he returned something I forgot in his car,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Hange raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying your casual tone. “Oh, just a handkerchief? Interesting.”

You gave her a look. “It was nothing. We barely talked.” While we were having dinner, that is, you thought. 

“Sure,” she said with a teasing grin. “Well, just so you know, I mixed that drink myself.”

You stared at her, caught off guard. “Of course you did.”

She laughed, clearly enjoying your reaction. “What? It’s my party! I want everyone to have fun. Besides, it’ll be fun for everyone to let loose. Don’t worry, it’s not as dangerous as the ones I made from college. I’ve practiced a lot over the years.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. Hange always had a way of stirring the pot, even when she didn’t mean to. Before you could respond, she was pulled away by a group of friends, leaving you to your thoughts for a moment.

The night wore on, and as promised, karaoke eventually took over the party. You found yourself dragged into a group rendition of some 90s throwback song, with Hange leading the charge and everyone laughing so hard they could barely keep up with the lyrics. It was chaotic, messy, and exactly what you’d expected from a night like this.

As you looked around at the familiar faces, the laughter, and the whirlwind energy of the party, you felt a strange sense of belonging—a feeling you hadn’t realized you’d missed until now. It was like stepping back into a part of yourself you’d left behind, and for the first time in a while, you felt like maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to be back. Or maybe that was the alcohol in your system. You feel like you’re about to crash out soon. 

The party didn’t start winding down until the early hours of the morning, when even Hange began to show signs of exhaustion. You were one of the last to leave, standing on the rooftop as the city stretched out beneath you, barely alive with the hum of nightlife. The reason you didn’t leave yet is because your alcohol tolerance betrayed you. You fear that if you go home alone, you’d pass out on the street and wake up god knows where.

Hange caught up to you once more as you stood, leaning on the tall railings. “Hey,” she said, her tone more serious now, though still light. “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me, you know? Having you back here.”

You smiled, feeling the sincerity in her words. “I wouldn’t have missed it.”

“Good,” she said, giving you a lopsided grin before pulling you into one last hug. “Now get home and sleep. We’ve got more partying to do at the wedding.” 

“Actually, can you grab me a cab? I don’t think I can book a ride on my phone at my state.” Your words are slurring off with a soft laugh as you talk, trying to pull out your phone out of your pocket only to find it empty. “Oh, other pocket,” you murmured incoherently as you finally had your phone in your hand.

You look up to already see Hange grinning at you, her cheeks flushed with the excitement of the night. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Already taken care of.”

You furrowed your brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

Hange gave you a look that was somewhere between mischievous and knowing, her eyes twinkling with that signature glint she always got when she knew she was meddling in something. “I called someone to pick you up.” 

Your stomach dropped, and a sense of foreboding crept into your drunken haze. “Who?” you asked, dreading the answer. 

“For fuck’s sake, Hange.” 

For one good second, you sobered up, chills filling your entire body when you heard his voice. You look in his direction, already walking up to the two of you. He’s wearing a black jacket and jeans, his hair a little tousled by the windy air of the rooftop. 

“I thought you’d know better than drinking Hange’s mix,” he directly spoke to you now, arms crossed in disappointment. Him standing in front of you hit you like a splash of cold water. You blinked a few times, as if you don’t believe what you’re seeing in front of you. 

“Levi? You called Levi?” is what you would’ve said if you could even make some words out of your drunken mouth. You let out a long sigh, feeling the weight of the situation settle in your already tipsy mind. The way Levi is seeing you right now—drunk, disoriented, and in this state—is too humiliating, but it was too late to argue. Hange had made her decision without consulting you, and there was no undoing it now, with him already standing in front of you.

Hange laughed, patting you on the back. “Welp, here’s your designated driver. Moblit’s on his way to fetch me so you two go on ahead.”

With that, Hange left the two of you alone by the railings. The two of you stood there in silence. The long-sleeved shirt you wore does nothing for the chilly night, you wrap your arms tightly around yourself as the cold night air sobered you up just enough to feel the awkwardness building. Your heart pounded in your chest as you leaned on the railing, trying to steady yourself.

He approached you closer, his usual unreadable expression giving nothing away. “You good to go, or do I need to carry you to the car?” he asked, his voice dry but not unkind.

You blinked, trying to pull yourself together, but you could still feel the alcohol buzzing in your system. “I can walk,” you muttered, feeling heat rise in your cheeks despite the cool air.

Levi’s lips twitched ever so slightly at your response, a ghost of a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “Sure you can.”

You huff, trying to walk away from him. You swayed slightly on your feet, your mind racing with a mixture of embarrassment and dread as you head to the elevator. Levi followed closely behind you. Whenever you feel like you’re about to lose your stance, you’d feel a slight graze of a hand on your back. He never touches you. But you’re awfully aware of his presence behind you. 

The two of you waited in front of the elevator in silence. You don’t look at Levi. You feel like your face is going to be redder than it already is if you look at his handsome face. And what was he wearing? Did he go somewhere? Why does he look like that? It’s so unfair. He’s so hot. The all black fit always hits you differently, the alcohol is not helping either. 

Just as the elevator doors open, something draped on your shoulders. Levi’s jacket. “Wear it. You look like you’re gonna freeze to death.” 

As the two of you go in, due to actually feeling like you’re going to freeze to death, you don’t complain and wear his jacket. The smell of his cologne fills your nose and you bury yourself in the warmth of it. 

"You look like you’ve had a rough night," he said, his voice flat but with a hint of dry amusement.

You huffed out a breath, leaning your elbows on the railing again. “It wasn’t supposed to end with you showing up.” You paused for a moment. “Thanks for coming… but you didn’t have to. I could’ve called a cab.”

Levi shrugged, glancing over at the view of the city in front of you. “You were drunk, and she called me. Simple as that.”

You sighed, realizing there was no point in arguing with him. “Yeah, I guess.”

He glanced at you, taking in the way you leaned a little too heavily against the wall, the faint pink flush on your cheeks. As the two of you stood there, the awkward silence between you grew. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but there was an underlying tension—one that neither of you wanted to acknowledge.

You made it to the lobby  and then outside of the building, the cool air of the outside world hitting you like a fresh wave of another cold. Levi led the way to his car parked just outside, and you hesitated for a moment, feeling a strange mix of gratitude and reluctance.

When you reached the car, Levi opened the passenger door for you, motioning for you to get in. You do as he says, slipping into the passenger seat.  The ride was quiet, the hum of the engine the only sound between you as he drove through the city streets, which had quieted down in the late hours. You stared out the window, watching the lights of the buildings blur as you passed by. 

Levi finally broke the silence, his voice soft but steady. “Hange said you were having fun tonight.”

You let out a small laugh, still feeling the god-awful drink swirling in your veins. “Yeah, I was… surprisingly”

He glanced at you briefly. “Parties weren't really your thing.”

“Neither are late-night rescues,” you replied, shooting him a half-smile.

Levi’s lips twitched, the closest thing to a smile you’d seen from him all night. “Could’ve fooled me.”

The rest of the ride passed in comfortable silence, the weight of the night settling over you as your eyelids grew heavy. The rhythmic hum of the car and the gentle motion of the drive lulled you into a deeper state of relaxation. The alcohol in your system had finally caught up with you, and despite your best efforts to stay awake, your eyes grew heavier with each passing minute. You leaned your head against the cool window, the blur of city lights fading as your consciousness began to slip.

You barely registered Levi glancing over at you from the driver's seat. His expression, ever unreadable, softened slightly as he noticed your slow, even breathing. He kept driving for a few more minutes, but when he pulled up in front of your apartment building and turned off the engine, you didn’t stir.

—

Levi sat there for a moment, staring at you, your body curled up in the passenger seat, completely oblivious to the world around you. The faint rise and fall of your chest was the only sound in the quiet of the car. He let out a small sigh, looking around the area of your building as he considered his options. There were still some people outside in the streets. The underground never slept, filled with drunktards and no-good doers. 

After a moment of hesitation, Levi made his decision. Getting you inside your apartment, trying to find your keys, and getting you up the steep and unpaved stairs—all of it seemed like too much for someone in your condition. 

Without another word, Levi drove off your apartment and to his own home where you’ll be more comfortable. After he parked his car, Levi got out of the car and came around to your side. He opened the passenger door quietly and leaned down, carefully sliding one arm beneath your legs and the other around your back. You stirred slightly as he lifted you, your head resting against his chest as he effortlessly carried you out of the car. The smell of alcohol fills his nose but it didn’t bother him one bit.  His movements were slow and deliberate, making sure not to wake you as he adjusted your weight in his arms. 

You murmured something incoherent, your head shifting slightly as you nestled closer against him. Levi froze for a second, his gaze flickering down to you, but when you didn’t wake, he continued walking toward his building.

Once inside, Levi carried you up the stairs to his apartment. It was quiet and dark, the only light coming from the street lamps outside. He shifted you gently in his arms to open the door, then stepped inside, closing it behind him with a soft click. He made his way through the familiar space, heading toward his bedroom.

Levi laid you down carefully on his bed, pulling back the covers as he positioned you comfortably on the mattress. You stirred again, this time more aware, your eyes fluttering open briefly as you tried to figure out where you were. Your vision was blurry, your mind still fogged with sleep and alcohol, but you recognized the familiar scent of Levi’s apartment. 

"Levi?" you mumbled, your voice hoarse with sleep.

He was already adjusting the blanket over you, making sure you were covered and comfortable. “Yeah, it’s me,” he said quietly, his voice unusually soft. “Go back to sleep.”

You blinked a few times, trying to make sense of the situation, but exhaustion pulled at you like a weight. Your body relaxed into the bed, the warmth of the blankets lulling you back to the edge of unconsciousness. “This isn’t… my place…” you muttered, but even as you said it, your eyes were closing again.

“I know,” Levi replied, stepping back slightly as he watched you. “You fell asleep in the car.”

You didn’t have the energy to argue. Instead, you let out a soft sigh, sinking deeper into the mattress. “Yeah…” you mumbled, your voice barely audible as sleep finally overtook you.

As Levi carefully tucked the blanket around you, making sure you were comfortable, he turned to leave the room. But just as he was about to pull away, he felt a gentle tug on his arm.

In your half-conscious state, your fingers had wrapped around his wrist, holding him in place. He froze, staring down at you, his heartbeat quickening unexpectedly. Your eyes were still closed, your breathing slow and steady, but your grip was firm—gentle, yet desperate, as though some part of you, even in sleep, didn’t want him to leave.

“Stay… please…” you whispered, your voice barely audible but enough to make Levi’s breath catch.

He wasn’t sure if you were dreaming or fully aware of what you were saying, but the soft plea reached him. You shifted slightly, your hand sliding up his arm as you pulled him closer, nestling into the blankets. “hold me…” you murmured, the vulnerability in your voice tugging at something deep inside him.

Levi’s body went rigid, his mind torn between his instinct to distance himself and the raw emotion in your voice. He had never been good with moments like this—moments that demanded more than what he was used to offering. But the way you clung to him, even unconsciously, made it difficult to simply pull away. It reminded him of old, easier times. 

With a quiet sigh, Levi gave in. He gently sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb you too much. His movements were slow, uncertain, but deliberate. He stretched out beside you, keeping a small distance at first, though your hand never let go of him.

As you sensed his presence closer, you relaxed, instinctively shifting so that your head rested lightly against his chest. The tension in your body melted as you let out a soft, contented sigh, your hand still gripping his shirt as if afraid he might disappear.

Levi lay there, still and silent, staring up at the ceiling, his heart beating faster than usual. He didn’t know what to do with his free arm, but eventually, he let it settle around your shoulder, holding you with a gentleness that surprised even him. The scent of your hair and the warmth of your body against his was oddly calming, despite the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in his mind.

The room was quiet, save for your slow, steady breathing. Levi glanced down at you, watching the peaceful expression on your face, the way your brow had unfurled and your lips parted slightly in sleep. You looked vulnerable, and yet completely at ease.

For a brief moment, Levi allowed himself to relax, too. He wasn’t sure what this meant—this sudden closeness but as you snuggled into him, your body warm against his, he let himself be present in the moment.

Just for tonight, he told himself. Just for now.

As the minutes passed, Levi found himself unable to tear his gaze away from you. Your face was serene in sleep, the tension from the day and the alcohol completely dissolved. He hadn't seen you like this in a long time—peaceful, unguarded. There was something deeply comforting in watching you like this, something that stirred memories he had long buried. Only now was he able to stare at your face without fearing he’d crumble in front of you. The darkness under your eyes tells everyone that you’re tired but the years have painted a maturity in your face that didn’t take away your beauty. 

His eyes traced the familiar lines of your features—the way your lashes rested softly on your cheeks, the subtle rise and fall of your chest as you breathed. The room was quiet, save for the faint sound of your breathing, and Levi’s thoughts seemed to drift along with it. He wasn’t one to dwell on the past, but here, beside you, he couldn’t help but think of everything that had happened between you two—what you had been, what you could have been.

He wasn’t sure when it happened, but a deep, unspoken longing began to rise in his chest, a feeling he had been trying to ignore ever since the night he had shown up outside your apartment without a reason. The closeness of you, the way you had unconsciously reached for him, pulled at something deep inside him.

His gaze softened, lingering on your parted lips, the way your hair spilled across the pillow, framing your face. Slowly, as if drawn by some invisible force, he found himself leaning in closer. His heart began to pound louder, an unfamiliar rush of emotions building within him, making his movements feel almost inevitable.

He told himself to stop, to pull back before he crossed a line. But as his face hovered just inches above yours, he was overwhelmed by the quiet intimacy of the moment. The warmth of your breath brushed against his skin, and his pulse quickened. You were so close, and for a brief moment, he allowed himself to imagine what it would feel like—to close that final distance, to press his lips against yours once again. 

He hesitated, his breath hitching as his eyes traced your sleeping face. You looked so peaceful, so trusting, curled up against him. And yet, in that moment, the weight of what was unsaid between you—the unresolved tension, the memories, the regrets—hung in the air. 

Levi’s hand, which had been resting lightly on your shoulder, twitched as he fought the urge to touch you, to run his fingers through your hair, to let his guard down completely. But just as he was about to give in to the moment, he stopped himself.

A faint sigh escaped him as he pulled back, his forehead creasing with conflict. He couldn’t do it—not like this. Not while you were asleep and unaware. It wouldn’t be fair to you, and he knew better than to act on fleeting impulses, no matter how strong they felt in the moment.

With a deep breath, Levi settled back onto the pillow, keeping his arm around you but maintaining the distance between your faces. He stared up at the ceiling, his mind racing, the weight of the unspoken emotions pressing heavily on his chest.

As you shifted slightly in your sleep, your hand still clutching his shirt, Levi closed his eyes, trying to push away the longing that had nearly overtaken him.

But the truth lingered, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it: after all these years, he had never really let you go. 

He ran a hand through his hair, a mix of concern and something else flickering in his eyes before he carefully stood up from the bed, turned and quietly walked into his bathroom. He got two things, a cleanser and some cotton. 

He walked back to the bed, seeing you sleeping soundly. Gently, he sat down beside you and began to wipe the makeup off your face. He’s careful not to wake you, not applying too much pressure. He’s seen you do this back in college, telling him that makeup should always be removed before bed. If he could change your clothes he would as well. But you looked comfortable enough in his jacket. 

Levi walked back into the living room when he was done, his mind oddly restless despite the quiet of the apartment. He sat down on the couch, staring out the window at the city lights outside, knowing that tonight had been different. He didn’t know why he had brought you here instead of waking you up or why he had come to fetch you in the first place. He didn’t know why he didn’t refuse Hange’s call knowing that you were together. He didn’t know why he even dressed up and ran to your side without question. There were a lot of things he didn’t know and didn’t understand. Most of all, he doesn’t understand how you still have a hold of him like this all over the years you were gone. And to be honest, it angered him but mostly, it scared him. 

But as the minutes passed and the apartment remained still, he figured maybe it didn’t matter. And whatever questions you have, he'll figure it out tomorrow. For now, you were safe. And that was enough.

© levisolace. please do not copy, translate, claim any of my works. my works are cross-posted only on my ao3 account. thank you.