Dave England, Jeff Tremaine, Bam Margera, Johnny Knoxville, And Chris Pontius

✧ dave england, jeff tremaine, bam margera, johnny knoxville, and chris pontius ✧

My Jackass girl headcanons

• Seriously the coolest person you will ever meet

• A real girl’s girl, and honestly prefers hanging out with women.

•“Do you see yourself as ‘one of the guys’, (name)?”

• “Ew. No.”

• Wouldn’t be dating any of the guys (That’s not to say that none of them have a crush on her) but probably has kissed most of them at some point for a dare or something , and has definitely seen all of their dicks and reminds them if they’re small during arguments

• If she’s dating anybody from that group, it would be someone on the outskirts, e.g Jess, Deron, CiG, Dico, Raab, VV, Mat Hoffman, Tony Hawk,, ...etc

• And if she’s into girls I can see her dating one of the guy’s sisters, which she will absolutely fucking rub in their face every chance she gets.

• Is probably in a Tampax ad that’s like “I can trust my tampons, even through the most extreme activities” *Rides a bike off of a fucking building*

• Definitely a sex symbol

•Tried to post a makeup tutorial on YouTube and the guys all fucking kept walking in and interrupting

• Does things like cook for the guys/ wash bedsheets/ sew holes in clothes in exchange for immunity from pranks for a couple of days. (Bam has never availed of this)

• “I wouldn’t promise that girl immunity from the COMMON COLD, even for a billion dollars”- Bam

• Was part of WildBoyz

• Because she’s an Animal lover

• “I know he’s pretty, (name), but you can’t cuddle with tigers.” - Tremaine

• T-SHIRTS WITH DUMB SHIT ON THEM.

• “They treat her like a baby sister 🥺” WRONG she gets the same treatment as everybody else, possibly even worse

• She lost her luggage once and had to wear different items of all the guy’s clothing for a week, far too large on her, saved by the grace of one of Bam’s belts.

•“Have we been sponsored by JNCOs or somethin’?”- Dunn

me and knox 🥊🥊

Me and my cowboy

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS

THE WAY I SCREAMED

he is so fine it actually hurts 😭

steve-o pls let me suck your dick omg

so real

Gotta stop calling grown men babygirl but it’s so fun. Like that’s my babygirl with huge arms and a full beard. Isn’t he so pretty?

kissing him

part of him (one-shot series), my masterlist

pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader

summary: You and Spencer are taking things slow, and kissing him might be your favorite thing in the world.

words: 700

warnings: kissing, anxious/sensitive reader, no y/n

a/n: a quick little thing I wrote when I woke up! a little treat! I'm imagining early seasons Spence but you do you! I'm not gonna yuck anybody's yum!

You and Spencer had been dating for a while. Your relationship was built on cute dates, always doing something fun—museums, bookstores, parks, movies. Whenever he was home, he made sure to spend as much time with you as he could. 

You both took things very slowly because Spencer knew how anxious you were about being in a relationship. Sharing your days and yourself with someone else was overwhelming, so he never pushed or rushed you. 

Most people who saw the two of you might have thought you were just friends. 

It wasn't until you found yourselves in a larger crowd that Spencer would strategically place himself behind you—1) to not lose you, and 2) to make you feel safer. He’d place his hand on your back, barely touching it, but you could feel it, and it made your stomach do cartwheels. 

You hated how sensitive you were. You wished you could be the opposite—bold enough to throw yourself at him and have a hot and heavy make-out session. But you weren’t. You needed time, and he wanted you to feel good with him.

The light touches gradually transformed into soft hugs and holding hands. If it was too hot outside, you’d hook your pinky around his, which he loved. It always made him smile, even though he tried to hide how giddy it made him feel. 

On the metro, you’d always hold hands, not just to avoid losing each other, but because Spencer knew how much you hated fast-moving crowds and the creeps who sometimes occupied the trains. So, he’d squeeze your hand whenever he sensed you feeling uneasy.

Your first kiss was something you still weren’t sure who initiated. Was it you, looking at his lips as you said goodbye after a movie date? Or was it him, noticing how you were looking at him and slowly closing the distance between your faces? Maybe it was both. In the end, it didn’t matter. The kiss was soft and sweet, just like you had imagined it. 

The moment his lips touched yours, you felt him shudder and inhale deeply, which made you somehow cling to him even closer. You often forgot that Spencer was as inexperienced as you were. 

Suddenly, his hands were on your waist, holding you gently, and your hands were on his cheeks. Then he slowly pulled away and looked at you. Oh god, the way he looked at you—as if you were the most divine creature in the universe. And he probably saw how you looked at him, dumbfounded, trying to process what had just happened. He smiled, kissed your cheek, and said goodnight with a promise to call tomorrow.

The kisses grew more casual and soon became a normal occurrence. Kissing Spencer became as natural as holding his hand (or hooking pinkies).

It took months for the two of you to have a proper make-out session. You were on his couch, and it might have been your fault—you couldn’t stop thinking about him, about kissing him. He even wandered into your dreams.

The movie was on, but you had no idea what it was because you kept glancing over at him, your heart racing. You tried to focus and just enjoy the evening, but you couldn't. He looked so pretty sitting next to you, completely absorbed in the movie with his brows furrowed. You were in such awe that you were startled when he turned and asked, "Why are you staring like that? Do I have something on my face?"

"No, no you don’t. Your face is... just... pretty," you replied.

He blushed and said, "Your face is pretty."

You didn’t know what came over you, but right then, as he said that, you pressed your lips against his. Before you knew it, your hands were in his hair, his hands were on your hips, and you pulled him onto you as you both fell back on the couch. He opened his mouth, letting your tongue in. 

He tasted so good, so sweet. 

You loved kissing Spencer. You had always wondered what kissing someone like that felt like. What was all the buzz about? It’s just kissing, and if you thought about it too much, it was frankly kind of gross, but now, with Spencer, you understood the buzz. This was your favorite place to be.