Johnny Knoxville - Tumblr Posts

WE ARE SO BACK

yo babe, wake up, the jackass community is back

HI! I absolutely loved your PJ headcannons! Do you think you could write something for him or luke castellan? Like maybe theyre lazily making out after smoking! If not i understand! Thank u 😘

yess this is amazing! I think I’ll do it for Luke castellan tho! I love him as a character and Charlie Bushnell is so 😍 thank you so much for the request 🙈

everyday i wake up and think about how fine Johnny Knoxville is. it’s truly taking over my life.

AND WHY IS THE FANDOM SO DEAD GUYS PLS

𝘪 🩷 𝘑𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘹𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦

my aesthetic + pj

i come to you. on my knees. begging for chris pontius fic and or headcanons

you ask and you shall receive 🫡

here you go bsf

THAT WILL DO IT

𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐁𝐨𝐲 - 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞

 ❀ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐗 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐗 𝐘/𝐍 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐗 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

 ❀ 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐄𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐠𝐞.

 ❀ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 𝟑.𝟔𝐊

 ❀ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝟏𝟖+, 𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐩, 𝐀 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐔𝐧𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐞𝐱, 𝐀𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲, 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, & 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐟𝐭.

 ❀ 𝐀/𝐍 - 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤.

“Are you getting changed PJ?” You call out to your boyfriend as you continue to finish your makeup. It’s Johnny’s 52nd Birthday and you’ve made plans to celebrate with his friends. “I guess.” He replies, leaving the bathroom with a sigh. 

You could tell he wasn’t happy, his face always gave that away. Brows scrunched up and short sighs leaving his lips, it was obvious that he wasn’t in the mood for tonight. You’ve been in a relationship for a few years and had moved in together not too long ago. It’s reached the point where you could read Johnny like a book, not like it was that hard to do anyway. 

“Do we really need to go out tonight? I’d rather stay in with you.” Johnny sighs from the end of the bed, tying up his iconic red converse. “It’s your birthday, we need to celebrate it and I promise we’ll stay in tomorrow & do whatever you like.” You smile affectionately, looking at him in the mirror. He offers you a small smile in return as he continues to tie his laces, grumbling at the occasional click of his bones.

Unfortunately this resistance of celebrating his birthday has only been building in the last few years. With his aging face and grey hair, Johnny can’t help but feel old. His body takes longer to recover after stunts and he can’t quite handle alcohol like he used to, it was seriously impacting his self esteem. 

But that has never changed how much you love him, truthfully you thought his grey hair made him look even sexier. It made you want him more. After applying the final touches to your make up, you stand up and admire the final product. You wanted to look put together but not upstage your boyfriend, even though it’s not entirely possible with his unique fashion taste. 

Your outfit was simple a mini black skirt with a relatively low cut white tank, a pair of gorgeous black leather boots and one of Johnnys old leather jackets. “You look so beautiful.” Johnny coos as you wander over to him, still sat at the end of the bed. His hands reach out for you as you step between his legs. “Thank you baby.” You mutter, kissing his plump lips gently. 

The pair of you stand in the mirror as you take a picture for your instagram story. A pair of blue Dickie trousers cling to his long legs paired with a white shirt and black sweater vest over the top, his converse stick out like a sore thumb but you don’t have the heart to tell him. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 

Unsurprisingly the bar is packed. With very little wiggle room, you all squeeze around a table, the majority of the others already drunk. “You look really beautiful tonight, Y/N.” Bam slurs drunkly into your ear. His eyes scanning your body like you’d vanish in any second. 

Johnnys arm instinctively pulls you closer into his body, practically glaring at Bam in the process. He has always been the jealous type, he knew you’d never do anything that would hurt him or jeopardise your relationship but it was everyone else that he didn’t trust. 

He is a good amount of years older than you, but you didn’t care. You’d been set up on a blind date by a mutual friend, “You’ll love him, he’s hilarious. A little bit strange but in an endearing way.” They said as they gave you the address to the restaurant. You were nervous at first, the idea of a blind date has always terrified you but something deep inside told you that you needed to go. And here you are. 

“Don’t piss your pants PJ, besides, I’ve got every single detail memorised up here.” Bam antagonises, tapping his temple. You can feel Johnny tense next to you, clenching his fist as if he was preparing to swing. “I much prefer men that aren’t fresh out of puberty.” You flash a cheeky grin, making the rest of the group laugh loudly. 

You felt Johnny soften next to you, picking up his bottle of beer and taking a sip. His energy makes it obvious that he didn’t want to come, or it did to you at least. But eventually as he drank more and more, he began to feel a little more at ease. 

As the rest of the group scatters around the bar, you find yourself alone with your boyfriend. “Are you feeling okay, baby?” You question, tracing small circles onto the top of his hand. “Yeah, I’m feeling a little better. Thank you for sticking up for me. I love you for that.” He chuckled softly, his big brown eyes peering down at you.

His head leans down as he presses his lips to yours, passionately and possessively. Johnny knew that other guys had been looking at on his arm and he wanted to make sure that everyone knew that you were his. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The night progresses and the drinks are flowing, you can see that Johnny is feeling a lot more comfortable as he plays darts with Bam and Ryan. “I just feel bad for him, I know getting older is affecting him but what can I say to help him?” You shrug, drinking your vodka and Coca Cola.

“Not much you can do I’m afraid.” Steve-o sighs, sipping at his glass of coke. You’ve always admired Steve-o and his willingness to commit to sobriety, you knew it couldn’t have been hard for him with the previous lifestyle he had but it warms your heart to see him doing so well. “Don’t look but there’s a guy coming over here.” Steve-o mutters, already feeling uncomfortable. 

You glance over your shoulder and just as Steve-o says, a guy is walking in your direction. He looks about the same age as you, dark brown hair with brown eyes, a slightly pointed face and looks a bit like a rat. “Hello beautiful.” He announces as he sits across from you, forcing Steve-o to slide into the middle. 

“Hi? Can I help you with something?” You question, secretly hoping it’s just a fan of Jackass or something. “I just wanted to say you’re looking incredibly hot tonight.” The strange man flirts, just by his actions you could tell he wasn’t sober. Whether it’s alcohol or drugs, something is definitely in this fuckers system because he is wired. “Thank you, my boyfriend thinks so too.” You smile softly, hoping he’ll get the hint and fuck off. 

“What are you drinking? I’ll love to buy you one.” He flirts again, your eyes flick over to Steve-o, he’s sat in silence and desperately trying not to laugh in this poor man’s face. “It’s actually not from here, I stole from a liquor store before I arrived.” You respond, starting to make up shit. “Oh really? Surely the police would be looking for you then?” The guy responds awkwardly. 

“Nope, killed the owners before they had a chance to call them.” You shrug, sipping your drink. The guy gets up slowly, looking horrified before heading back to his original table. “What a creep.” You remark as you finish the rest of your vodka. “Where the fuck did that come from?” Steve-o laughs astonishingly. 

“Practiced it a few years ago, you never know when you’ll need a story like that.” You raise your eyebrow and giving it a wiggle. “I’ll drink to that.” Steve-o laughs as he holds out his glass. The two of you cheers and Steve-o slides out of the booth, off to buy another round. 

You hadn’t noticed but your boyfriend was stood watching the entire interaction from the other side of the bar, just without sound. What he saw was a young and attractive man, flirting with his young and attractive girlfriend. His feelings of inadequacy and insecurity build inside him, Johnny can’t help but feel like he did before he left the house. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

After a few more hours, you return home in desperate need of some sleep. The journey home was quiet. You could tell that something is plaguing Johnnys mind but you can’t figure it out yet. Silence as he enters the house and silence as he walks into your bedroom. 

“You know I’m proud of Steve-o, he’s come a long way with his sobriety.” You announce from the bathroom. Taking off your jewellery and throwing your hair up into a bun. “Mhmmm.” Johnny says in response from the bedroom. The energy is weird. You know something is bothering him but you also know he won’t admit it. 

You walk into the bedroom and find your boyfriend partially dressed & sat at the end of the bed. Shoes and trousers gone with nothing but his top half and boxers still on. “Have I done something to upset you?” You question, wondering why his mood has changed again. 

“Why are you with me?” He breaks the silence. His brown eyes looking up from a spot on the floor, it looks like he is about to cry. “I’m getting older and grey but you’re young & beautiful. You have so much life ahead of you. I don’t want you  to feel obligated to waste it with me.” He exclaims, a few tears trickle from his eye but he wipes it with his shirt sleeve. Praying that you won’t notice. 

And then it clicks. The situation in the bar, he must’ve seen it and being so far away, completely misread the situation. “You saw that guy approach me, didn’t you.” You sigh, wanting to squeeze him tightly. “PJ, I promise you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” You mutter wandering over to your boyfriend. 

Skirt gone with nothing but the tank top and your underwear, you crawl onto his lap. Instinctively he wraps his arms around you, tightly. “It doesn’t bother you that I’m getting older and my hair is grey?” He questions, peering down at you. “Truthfully.” You smile, running your hand through his styled hair. “I think you couldn’t look any sexier, the grey hair does something to me.” You smile pecking his lips softly. 

“What about the guy in the bar? You looked like you were enjoying the conversation.” Johnny sighs, still hung up on the younger guy hitting on you. “PJ, people are going to approach me and that’s a part of life. I don’t particularly enjoy when other women flirt with you but I’m the one that gets to come home to you and get fucked by you. I win.” You remark, making him chuckle. 

Johnnys hand grabs you by the back of the neck and pulls you in, his lips collide with yours as they burn with passion. You can’t help but moan as his stubble gently scratches at your chin. Your hands fly into his hair as you desperately try to close the gap between you, you wanted him like you need water. 

He pulls away slightly, taking your chin between his long and nimble fingers. “Since you said that my hair does something to you….would you like to show me?” He questions, the words pronouncing his Tennessee accent deliciously. Johnny presses his crotch into your legs, his semi-hard cock jabs into you. You couldn’t decide if it was the pressure or the friction that made “Little PJ” appear but oh boy were you glad. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You stand up and use your knee to push his legs apart, creating enough space for you to squat down in front of him. Sitting down between the gap, you peer up at him through your eyelashes. Dragging your nails gently up and down his exposed flesh. “Fuck.” He whispers to himself as your hands reach up for his waistband. 

His eyes stare at you like a lion with its prey, gently sliding his boxers down to reveal his incredibly erect cock. Pre-cum already spilling from the tip as your nails stroke up and down it, teasing him as much as you possibly can. With trembling thighs, his big brown eyes peer down at you, pleading for some release. 

“Baby- please-.” Johnny begs, bucking his hips into your direction.  You spit into your hand and wrap it around his cock, “Oh my god!” He groans, head thrown back with his eyes squeezed shut. Gently pumping his cock, it’s not long before his hips as rising off the edge of the bed struggling to contain himself. 

You lay your arm over his hips, trapping him to the bed. “Fuck.” Johnny grunts, unable to do anything but watch. Nothing but a string of obscenities leave his lips, Johnny leans back on his elbows with his eyes clasped shut. Spitting on the tip, you wrap your mouth around it and sink lower until it touches the back of your throat. 

“You dirty bitch.” Johnny growls as you begin to bob up and down. Tears spilling from your eyes, smudging whatever makeup you have left on.  His hand grips your hair tightly as he tries to gain control, obscenities tumble from his lips as he can feel his climax building, “Jesus Christ.” He moans loudly, wishing he could lift his hips to fuck your throat. 

Spit drips down his cock and balls as you wrap your hand around his cock again, pumping and sucking as you go. “Are you gonna cum for me baby?” You tease, pulling yourself off the tip of his cock with a pop. He can’t say anything, not a single word comes out of his mouth just long and struggling moans. 

Wrapping your mouth around his cock again, you continue to suck relentlessly. Johnnys hips tremble under your arm as you can feel his cock start to twitch, you feel him twitch inside of your mouth until he spills inside of you. Warm cum trickles down your throat as you swallow every drop, wiping your mouth as you pull yourself off your boyfriend. 

“Wow.” Is all Johnny can get out, laying back onto your bed as he tries to catch his breath. You go to stand up and get ready for bed but Johnnys hand reaches out for you, stopping you in your tracks. “Get into bed, I’ll take care of you.” Johnny grumbles seductively. 

You crawl into bed and lay back into the pillows, watching as your boyfriend pulls his shirt and sweater off. His eyes are darker than usual clouded over with lust, Johnny crawls up the bed like you are his last meal on death row, in desperate need of a taste. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Johnnys fingers hook into your panties, dragging them down to reveal your glistening cunt. “All this for me?” He questions, his eyes looking up at you. Littering kisses and hickeys along the inside of your thighs, Johnny licks a stripe up your wet cunt. “PJ.” You moan softly, his stubble scratching against your soft skin. 

“Do you like this baby?” Johnny questions as he takes your clit into his mouth, sucking it harshly. His large tongue laps at your folds, diving deeper as it slips into your hole, fucking you with it. “Oh fuck- PJ- Please-.” You moan loudly, tightly grabbing at your boyfriend’s grey hair. 

Sucking at this thumb, Johnny presses it to your clit, pushing down on it tightly. Torturing it as he continues to tongue fuck you, his big brown eyes glance up as you unfold on his tongue, your grip tightening in his hair as your own orgasm gets closer. 

Johnny lines himself up, sucking and spitting on a finger before inserting it inside you. He starts off slow. Painfully slow. All the way up to the knuckle and then pulling it out all the way, the pleasure is sending waves throughout your body but you find yourself begging for more. 

“PJ.” You whimper pathetically as he stares at you, sucking two of his fingers and rubbing your wetness around. “Tell me what you want baby?” He teases, inches his fingers lower and not moving them. “PJ Please- I need you inside of me.” Without warning, he slides both fingers in. Curling them at your g-spot. 

As the speed increases, you feel your legs start to tremble. Pressure building inside of you like a balloon. The sound of your wet cunt squelches as your boyfriend fingers you at a violent pace, constantly smashing into your g-spot until you cum onto his fingers. “Oh fuck- PJ.” You groan as your legs go into spasm. 

“You taste fucking perfect.” Johnny peers at you from the end of the bed, licking his fingers like a melted ice cream. His large frame slides up the bed until he’s over you completely, arms either side of your head as he leans in. Passion and possession burns on his tongue as it fights for dominance in your mouth. You wanted him just as badly as he wants you. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Using his knee, he spreads your legs open wider, his hand drags the tip of his cock across your soaked cunt. Making you both let out a sound of deep pleasure, he glances up quickly at you asking for permission, with a quick nod his long cock slides into you. “Fucking hell, Y/N! You’re so fucking tight.” Johnny grunts into your ear as he fucks into you slowly. 

Johnny has always been a generous man, he believes that the best way for maximum pleasure is multiple orgasms. Only pussies and people who are inexperienced stop at one. Occasionally Johnny is only after helping himself, when he’s in the mood to punish you. But he loved watching you cum, the way your eyes roll back into your head, how your legs tremble violently and the way you scream his name. That’s the best part in his opinion. 

Kissing and nipping at your neck until his thrusts start to get faster and faster. Slamming his hips into yours at a tantalising pace. His hands grab your wrists and holds them above your head, lowering himself down to talk dirty in your ear. “I love the way your tight little pussy feels around my big cock.” Johnny groans, sucking and kissing on your neck. 

“I want to spend everyday filling you up with my cum.” He props himself up as his large hands grab your legs, holding them in the air allowing him to slide in deeper. You can see his cock protruding through your stomach, pushing at your cervix. “You feel so good PJ.” Your voice sounding raspy as you struggle to catch a breath. 

He spits on your cunt again, using his fingertips to swish it all around, applying ample amount of pressure to your clit. Sending you into overdrive. Johnny slips himself out and flips you over like a rag doll, “I want to hear my balls slap against your wet little cunt.” He groans in your ear.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Collecting spit in his mouth, he globs some on the tip of his cock before sliding in again, much deeper and much faster. “Do you like it, baby? The way my cock pounds into you?” Johnny groans as his large hands grip your hips tightly, the sensation is enough to drive you crazy but with his balls slapping against your clit, you didn’t know how much longer you had left. 

“Fuck PJ.” You moan pornographically. Johnny loved the sound of you moaning his name, it was entirely possible that this alone was enough to make him cum on the spot. “That’s it baby.” He coos. “Milk my big cock with your tight cunt.” That was it, the knot in your stomach grew tighter and tighter, his balls adding the perfect amount of stimulation to your clit. 

“Are you going to cum for me baby?” Johnny groans, feeling his own orgasm building himself. Your walls get tighter as they clench around his long cock, squeezing it for dear life. “Fuck.” He groans from behind you, feeling the heat start to rise. “Oh fuck- PJ- I’m gonna cum.” You whine as the familiar sensation starts to build and build. 

His large hand reaches around your waist, rubbing at your clit frantically like a DJ with a turntable. “Oh fuck!” Your legs tremble as you start to loose your balance. “That’s it baby!” Johnny praises, his voice starting to sound increasingly more trembly and raspy. It’s so fucking hot. “You take my cock so fucking good.” 

Your walls tighten as you throw your head back, spilling yourself over his long cock. Loosing your balance, you collapse onto the bed but Johnny still clings on, desperately chasing his own orgasm. “Jesus Christ.” He moans loudly, still hanging out of the back of you. His hips come to a halt as he spills into you, his warm cum filling you up. 

Johnny collapse on top of you, slowly trying to catch his breath. “Are you okay back there?” You question, turning your head slightly and peering at your boyfriend. “I think that’s the best birthday present I’ve ever had.” Johnny chuckles as he slides out of you. He disappears out of the bedroom, completely naked and vanishing into the house. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

With a two Gatorades in hand and some aspirin, he lays them on the side table. Collecting a damp wash cloth, Johnny rubs it across your body, cleaning the mess that he has made. “Thank you by the way.” He mutters pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “I know it shouldn’t bother me that people find you attractive, I don’t blame them at all. It just makes me feel old.” He chuckles awkwardly. 

You loved the passion and fire that comes with Johnny, the way that he can stir something up inside of you without even saying a word. But it’s the gentle side that made you fall in love with him. How he can fuck you senselessly and then treat you like a princess after. You turn your head to face him, gently placing your hand to the side of his face. 

“I love you PJ, I don’t want you any other way. Your grey hair truly does something to me and I don’t want you to change a thing.” You smile softly, pressing your lips to his. “I love you too.” He pecks at your lips. “And I promise you, I won’t be changing a thing.” Johnny’s arms wrapped your body as he pulls you into him tightly. 

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲'𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐣𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲. 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐬 - 𝐄𝐦 ♥

THIS IS SO SPECIAL TO ME

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE LOML

This might be weird... but do you think you could do some head cannons of Johnny, Ryan, and Bam dating a high maintenance girl/a girly girl/maybe even a bimbo? Like a girl who loves shopping, getting her nails done, the color pink and all that? If not I understand!

Johnny, Ryan, and Bam Dating a High Maintenance Girl!

a/n: Omg this isn't weird to me at all!!! Hell I have even thought about what they would be like dating a girly girl, so I'm sorry if this is a super long headcannons list... But in my defense it was the 2000s and being a high maintenance girl was the thing right?

prompt: Title!

warnings: Fem!reader, very light smut, fluff, partying/drinking

Johnny

You two met when Johnny had a photoshoot for a magazine and was told last minute that he was going to model with a female model

At first he was a bit mad, he didn't really want to shoot with another person let alone a girl he would have to do some sort of sexual poses with

But when you walked in the door in your pink crop top, low rise jeans, pink heels with fluff on the tips, and your white hand bag he fell in love

He tried to keep it as professional as he could while shooting with you

Was quick to ask you out after the shoot, which you happily said yes too.

And the rest is history!

He knows very well that your high maintenance but he really doesn't care cause he loves it

Like after he gets ran over by a bull he likes going home and listening to how you got your nails done today and how you got 'JK' on them while you cuddle with him

It really brings him down to earth

He would love to go shopping with you

Though at first you would fight with him about paying because you had enough money to buy your own things but soon just let it happen cause you knew he wouldn't change his mind

Plus who doesn't like to be spoiled?

Johnny would love when you tried things on for him he would call it his own mini fashion show

Even though he thinks you look great in anything he still is iffy about the length of things...

"Whatda think Knox?"

"Baby you look great, really, but that skirt is no longer than half a ruler-"

But he would love picking out clothes for you, his favorite things to pick out for you being low rise jeans and cropped tank tops

But going back to him spoiling you...

I'm talking flowers, chocolate, clothes, ANYTHING.

He just loves seeing how excited you get :((

Even while he is away filming he would buy you stuff to surprise you when he gets home

"Hey Steve-o do ya think Yn would like this?"

Also when he is away filming he calls you as soon as he is finished filming for the day and tells you everything he did and you happily listen for hours until you both fall asleep on the phone

Weird side note but I feel like he has you keep random things in your purse for him??

Like lighters, chapstick, his sunglasses, really random things

You two 100% would match during red carpet events

Johnny always lets you pick your dress before he picks his suit though

A lot of your red carpet looks have probably been super popular with the press

The headlines in magazines probably say "See the outfits Johnny Knoxville and Yn Yl stole the carpet in once again!" or "See Johnny Knoxville's and Yn Yl's eye-catching matching look!" and maybe even "Johnny Knoxville and Yn Yl, the best dressed couple!"

Omg when you two go out and party with the Jackass guys it's always a good time

Even though Johnny thinks there is no reason for you to start getting ready at 7:25pm when you guys are leaving for the party till 11:30pm

But either way he always thinks you look great

Johnny could always be found near you no matter where you are

Whether it's standing outside of the bathroom to wait for you, sitting next to you with an arm around you, or him just standing behind you while you order something from the bar

But you usually love to dance at parties which isn't Johnny's strong suit...

So he happily watches as you dance with Chris (nothing handsy though) or one of your friends from the booth you guys claimed

You will usually come back and take a seat on Johnny's lap and he'll kiss the back of your neck

"You looked so good out there dancing doll."

But if a guy is flirting with you so god help him.

"You're a real pretty thing baby."

"Yeah and that 'real pretty things' boyfriend is going to rip ya a new ass if you don't back off."

When Johnny gets to drunk he will get handsy with you

Maybe even put a hand up your dress and with a drunken blush on his face tell you his hot you are

But when you drink too much you can get mouthy, which has led to Johnny having to throw you over his shoulder and walk you out of the bar while holding your heels in his free hand to avoid you getting into fights with men 10x bigger than you

When you go on set with him Johnny makes sure no one is messing with you

If someone even dares to they will have the worst week of their life coming for them

The guys think you're a sweetheart though so they never mess with you

But they do find it funny how whipped Johnny is for you

"Knoxville would probably lick the bottom of Yn's pink heels if she asked." -Bam 100%

You don't mind being on camera at all either, Johnny often seen having his arm tossed around you

But when something gross happens and your on set the camera crew was told by Jeff to pan the camera wherever you are

You just have the best reactions and Jeff thinks it's funny how you shake your hands and turn your head away while gagging

"Ew that's totally gross! Why the hell would you ever even!?"

Johnny loves to kiss you, your cherry chapstick is addicting to him

But he totally hates when you wear lip gloss, it's sticky and gross to him

"I'm not kissin' you when you have that shiny stuff on your lips Yn!"

"But why not :("

You shower him with kissed and hugs all the time though lip gloss or not

Johnny loves that pda is ok with you too, he loves everyone knowing your his and he's yours

Overall he would love dating a girly girl.

Ryan

You two met back in high school

Ryan was pretty known throughout the school for doing dumb things with his friends but you were known for being the cheer captain and dating a football player

But when you got your new classes and were sat next to Ryan you ended up dumbing your boyfriend for Ryan, even telling your ex boyfriend that cause you didn't think it would matter you left him for Ryan

But Ryan walked the halls of his school with his guard up high for the rest of his high school life because he didn't want to get jumped by the football team.

This man would LOVE dating a high maintenance girl

Like he just loves it for some reason?

He probably calls you Barbie cause he thinks you act like a human version of her

From the purses, nails, clothes, and shoes

But he totally loves it all

I feel like if you two moved into somewhere together it would be more your stuff than his

Like he simply wouldn't care what you did with the place because he just doesn't care

As long as he has room in the closet he really doesn't care

But this has caused the boys to make fun of his new crib...

"Have you seen Ryans place? He lives in a Barbie house, everything is pink and sparkly!"

Ryan loves when you two get to sit on the couch and watch stuff though

Only because when he lays on your chest you scratch his head with your long nails

He also loves when you two do face masks, he doesn't really care for it while it's on but he loves when he gets to sit on the toilet with you between his legs while you apply it and take it off

You get beard burn from Ryan bad cause you always are giving him kisses

Ryan has a favorite lip balm you use and it's strawberry

He loves the way it feels on his lips and the way it tastes

Though Ryan loves your chapsticks and lip balms he hates your lipstick

There has been countless times where Ryan and you will be making out and you push him off cause you remember you're wearing your expensive lipstick

Always gets him frustrated but he's learned to just let it go

But Ryan usually doesn't like bringing you out to party because he just doesn't want you to have to deal with all the drunk guys

But when he does once in a while your the center of attention

All the guys talking to you asking you about girly things and you happily talk to them

But you sadly are sometimes blind to see that they are flirting with you

"I went shopping the other day and found these super cute pair of underwear!"

"Really? What color are they?" - Probably Steve-o with a dumb smirk on his face

"They're my favorite color." - Ryan while shooting daggers at Steve-o

When you get brought on set you are most likely on Ryan's lap or have your arms wrapped around his arm

No one messes with you, no one wants to feel the wrath of Ryan and possibly Bam

One time Steve-o jokingly threw your new heels in the water and when you started crying Ryan was pissed

Steve-o ended up getting shot with a paintball gun Ryan found in a van 14 times and even got a hard slap in the back of the head

Ever since then no one has even dared to mess with you

That doesn't mean Ryan doesn't mess with you though

You have found a couple of large spiders placed in your purses by him or been thrown into lakes by him while on set

You probably yell at Ryan all the time to shower

You insist he smells bad and if he won't take a shower you drown him in your floral perfumes

Ryan has been told by Jackass members, crew members, fans, family, and even strangers that he smells like a girl

He likes it though, it let's everyone know he's taken

Probably got a random tattoo on his arm that reminds you of him

Maybe a bow or your favorite flower

When you showed him you thought it was really cool and sweet which only made Ryan love it more

When you go shopping and bring Ryan along he gives you honest criticism on outfits

"It kinda clashes with the belt don't you think?"

"It's cute but not with those shoes."

"That would look good with that skirt you have."

But if you dare to bring him into the dressing room with you expect a very handsy Ryan

"Just making sure the fabric is good honey."

"But Ryan that's my underwear, not the skirt."

You two have had a couple of quickies in dressing rooms

But overall he treats you like a princess cause he thinks you're a real life one :)

Bam

You two met during cky when Bam was kicking footballs at cars, when Bam hit your car with a ball you had turned around to go back cause who does that?

Bam was expecting some old guy to get out of the car yelling but when you stepped out in a short dress and heeled boots him, Dico, Ryan, and Chris were all shell-shocked

Bam was quick to begin apologizing you even saying they are filming for a movie where they pull pranks and that he would even give you money to fix the non-existent dent

You laughed it off though telling them it was fine and as long as there was no damage it's ok.

Out of the four boys who all wanted your number Bam was the only one with the balls to ask, and when he did he surprisingly got your number

Bam dating a high maintenance girl makes perfect sense to me

Cause he is kinda high maintenance too right???

But he EATS UP having a hot girly girl girlfriend

He even funds basically all of your shopping trips

Hell he even joins shopping with you!

Though you two have very, very, different styles

"Babe you'd look smoking in this!"

"But Bam it's so... dull... and not colorful..."

But he will go into your stores with you cause you go into his

Though he doesn't enjoy it when you take super long and ends up messing around with things

But when it comes to you trying things on he will sit quietly and wait for you to come out of the room

He always says everything you wear is cute which is sweet but expensive

His favorite store you go to though is any lingerie store ever

He picks out some things for you to try on and loves seeing all of them

"Do a spin for me, I wanna see it from ever angle."

"God you're so hot."

"You're totally getting that right?"

But when it comes to his room he gets mad when your pink blankets are out cause his room is supposed to be 'dark' and 'badass'

Ape always tells him to stop whining over one pink blanket

Also Ape and Phil ADORE you

Ape loves going shopping with you and even just baking with you, your like the daughter she's always wanted

Phil loves you cause you always yell at Bam when he's mean to him, which no one has done before

"Bam you're being a total dick for no reason at all! Stop it!"

"Sorry babe."

While filming Viva La Bam you were on film almost every episode because Bam wanted the whole world to know you were his

You were also the host for many of their stupid game shows, Bam even going the extra mile and buying you those fancy dresses hosts wear

Dico, Chris, and Ryan frequently flirted with you which always resulted in Bam hitting them or doing whatever he could think of

Poor Chris one time caught more than several pies to the face just for saying you looked pretty one day :(

But Bam never and I mean NEVER would prank you no matter if it was on Jackass or Viva La Bam

He doesn't even let you on the Jackass set cause he says it's quote, "Literal hell."

So you only go to premieres and things like that with him

Always dressed to impress too

We all know Bam loves being a bit extra at red carpets too so one time he had you shower him in dark pink lipstick kisses

His favorite photo of him on a red carpet is you kissing his cheek while he already had at least twenty other lipstick marks on his face while his cheeks were pink and he had a goofy smile on his face

I feel like you would model his skateboards for him?

Like since they are pink Bam thought it would be cool to have you hold them for photos since you love pink

Bam ended up going all out for the shoot and the photos were so good he made posters of you with them

Which sold out SUPER fast

He would be so excited to tell you :(((

"Yn! Babe! Your posters sold out already!"

Bam also would be very affectionate behind closed doors

Kisses, hugs, cuddling he loves it all

He also likes being the little spoon, but he made you swore to never tell

He likes laying his head between your thighs and hugging your leg while sleeping :,)

He also loves making out with you

But like the sloppy making out, the kind that leaves your lipstick smeared on your face and his along with his hair becoming a mess

I think he tries giving you hickeys but you quickly shove him off saying you don't want the bruises on your neck cause they would look bad on camera

This totally would make him grumpy

But Bam loves being high maintenance with his high maintenance girl!!!

I HAVE LIKE 6 FICS THAT ARE ALMOST DONE BUT IDK HOW TO FINISH THEM UGHHHHH

I HAVE ONES FOR STEVEO, JOHNNY, CHAPPELL ROAN, STEVE HARRINGTON, AND DARYL DIXON

UGHHH

𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 - ᴊᴏʜɴɴʏ ᴋɴᴏxᴠɪʟʟᴇ

“𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘪’𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶” - 𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘪𝘯

description. | in which the boys go to film on a ranch, and knoxville can’t seem to keep his eyes off the girl in the cowboy boots.

warnings. | foul language. crude humor? idk man normal jackass shit.

notes. | if you enjoy pls like and reblog!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! MASTERLIST!!

Hot couldn’t even describe it.

Summers in the south were vicious. Some days the heat was enough to shelter you inside, not even the constant efforts of the ac units were enough to cool people down. Today was almost one of those days. Had it been just the tiniest bit hotter and not a single person would be out here running around.

Lucky for you though, your boss, Jim, decided that it wasn’t all that bad. So against several complaints, you and all your coworkers got sent in today. Jim made the argument that yall had “Special Visitors” coming in today, and he couldn’t afford not having a full staff.

You’re not exactly sure what you expected out of the visitors, but you definitely weren’t expecting to pull up to an entire film crew sitting up by the stables.

“God this is gonna be fun”

You were able to avoid the filming going on outside all the way until your lunch break, which was unusual considering Jim is usually up your ass. Deciding to go for a quick smoke break you headed out to your car, only to be stopped by the sound of hollering and something falling over.

The sound was loud and the boisterous laughter following soon after had you not only curious, but a little frightened. Naturally, the curiousity got the best of you. Finding the source of all the noise wasn’t hard considering the large crowd of people.

Spotting one of your favorite coworkers, you pushed your way to the front to see what all the commotion is about.

“Janae, what in the hell is going on up here” you asked with an amused tone.

All she could do was laugh and shrug. Clearly confused as well, but mostly entertained.

Finally turning around to look at the group causing all the ruckus, they were interesting, to say the least. There was a boy with short black hair and black clothes, a goofy looking guy with a slightly grown out buzz cut, a guy with shoulder length brown hair, a blonde man with a beard, and a taller guy wearing a red cowboy hat.

odd group.

Standing in a circle of sorts, the 5 men were talking to the camera. It wasnt easy to make out what they were saying but there was definitely something along the lines of “horse shit” thrown in there. They stood around and talked for a minute before the man in the cowboy hat laughed loudly and ushered them away.

As they were all walking to do whatever it was they had planned out, your eyes seemed to linger on the cowboy a little longer than necessary. Finally taking the time to analyze his appearance, you realized he’s actually really fucking hot.

He had on a pair of dark sunglasses, dirty red converse that matched his hat, a little facial hair, and amazing arms. The sleeves of his t-shirt were tight around his biceps, and god did he look good.

You weren’t sure if it was the muscles, the light tan, or the way he was covered in sweat, but it drove you crazy. For the first time in a long time, the heat of the south was on your side.

The way you were staring must of caught the man’s attention, cause when you looked up he was staring right back at you. He smiled at you, and sent a small wave.

You waved back, but kept your smile small, trying to play it cool even though he had definitely saw you staring . He laughed a little, looking oddly flustered, and turned back to his group.

“Oh god, Janae i’m out. I’m gonna go find something to keep me busy. Bye baby.” you muttered out, a mixture of embarrassed and nervous. “Bye honey”

Taking long strides, you made your way back to work. Your mind still filtered back to what happened, you never get that flustered over random men!

What you didn’t know was that Johnny had watched you walk off. He had planned on showing off to get your attention, but you had left before they could even start the stunt.

“Knoxville i swear if you don’t get your head out of your ass i’m gonna smack the shit out of you.” ahhh Jeff always had such a way with words.

“Sorry man, i’m focused i swear” he wasn’t.

“No you weren’t, you were too busy checking out “mrs cowboy boots” over there.” Jeff laughed. Johnny just laughed, knowing he couldn’t deny it now.

“Listen, just get through this stunt and you can go talk to her during your break, ok man?” he swore. “ ok ok, let’s get this over with” he agreed before clapping Jeff on the back.

They had just finished all their stunts and Johnny was itching to come find you. He had been counting down the minutes until he could get off.

“Hey Jeff, i’m gonna go on over there, i’ll be back in a minute” Johnny shouted. “ok man, have fun” he shouted back, chuckling.

Immediately after getting the ok from Jeff, he ran off to find you. He must’ve searched around outside for more than fifteen minutes, but there was absolutely no sign of you. Right as he was about to give up, he saw the woman you were talking to earlier.

“Hey! Hey ma’am im sorry to bother you but umm” he paused, not knowing how to go about this without seeming like a creep. “i noticed you were talking to this woman earlier, and ive gotta ask, what’s her name”

Janae paused, trying to think of who he could be referring to. Once it finally hit her she smiled “Oh! was she wearing a white shirt and boots?”

“Yeah! yeah she was. What’s her name?” Johnny was almost bouncing he was so excited. “Yeah her names y/n, real sweet girl. She’s right inside that door over there if you want to go talk to her.”

Johnny swore at this moment that this woman was an angel. “Thank you so much, have a nice day!” he exclaimed, already turning around to go see you.

Once he finally got up to the door, he took a deep breath, making sure to collect himself. He opened up the door and walked inside, relieved to feel the cool air on his damp skin. He looked around for a quick minute before his eyes finally landed on you.

You were faced away from him, looking at some kind of paper. He took a second to admire you. A clean white shirt, a pair of dark jeans, and some roughed up cowboy boots.

God you were gonna be a problem, he could already feel it. He knew it as soon as he saw you outside, but seeing you up close made it so much worse. There was absolutely no reason for a woman to be so damn beautiful.

“Excuse me ma’am.”

Hearing another person in the once empty room startled you. You whipped around and took a second to catch your breath. Realizing it was the cute guy from earlier, you straightened yourself out and walked towards where he was standing.

“Oh gosh i’m so sorry, have you been standing there long? i was in my own little world over here” you admitted. “No, no i just got here, sorry to spook you.”

“No baby you’re fine, i should’ve been paying attention!” it was then that Johnny noticed your accent, and he could’ve sworn his knees almost buckled.

god she has a pretty smile.

shit he was staring.

“Ok, i’m just going to try to be straight forward here doll, i asked your friend outside where i could find you.” he admitted sheepishly. “I saw you out there while we were filming, and i was gonna come talk to you but you ran off before i could get the chance!”

All you could do was laugh. “Yeah i kinda dodged you a bit huh… my nerves got the best of me” you laughed. “So what’s your name cowboy?” you joked, motioning to his obnoxious red hat.

“Johnny, it’s nice to meet you.” he held his hand out for you to take. “Y/n, nice to meet you too.”

Feeling how much bigger his hands are than yours had you a little flustered. it was then you realized just how much bigger than you he really was. He had to be over 6 foot, and his wide shoulders added to the look.

“Well y/n, how would you feel about going out some time. I’m in town for a few more weeks if you’re interested.” Johnny questioned nervously.

Honestly you were shocked. There was absolutely no way this man who was not only handsome, but apparently pretty well known, was asking you out.

Your silence had Johnny worried, “If you don’t want to i understand completely, absolutely no pressure.”

“No, i’m sorry! i would love to!” you answered frantically, worried you had made a bad impression. “Why don’t you give me your number, and we can talk about getting together? I know some good places around here!”

Johnny let out a sigh of relief and smiled at you. God there was no way you were getting over that smile anytime soon.

“That sounds great doll”

THIS LITERALLY SUCKS IM SO SORRY!

IM HAVING SUCH BAD WRITERS BLOCK 😭 I HOPE YALL ARENT DISAPPOINTED 🙏

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WOULD MAYBE LIKE A PART 2?!?

tags: @vaporub4ever @maddieeb3 @stplvrr @ilovewhiteboyz

my man my man my man my man

me and knox 🥊🥊

Me and my cowboy

so real

Gotta stop calling grown men babygirl but it’s so fun. Like that’s my babygirl with huge arms and a full beard. Isn’t he so pretty?

SOMEONE SEND ME SOME FIC IDEAS PLEASE!! IM WRITING FOR

- CHAPPELL ROAN !!

- HARRY POTTER UNIVERSE

- THE JACKASS CREW !!

- PJO CAST/CHARACTERS !!

- STRANGER THINGS !!

- TWD !!

and maybe k-pop idols 😖 IDK THO

and i’m open to more!

i have been SO busy with school starting back omg 😭 but i’m back on my grind 🙏 SEND SOME REQUESTS PLS

smoking pt1

smoking pt2

I dont know where to collect my jackass stuff and I need to buy some stand idk

BREAKING NEWS: HE FELL FOR THE SOUP

keep it cooling baby

chappell roan x jackass