Ladies With 7th House Planets But Born In Conservative Societies?

Ladies with 7th house Planets but born in Conservative Societies?

Oh! To have planets in the 7th house but born in conservative society that abhors premarital relationships, casual relationships or even meeting of boy-girl before marriage. To be born in societies that encourage arranged marriages fixed by families and strictly against male-female friendships except those allowed by blood relations.

On one hand, you have an important 7th house and on the other hand your environment restricts one of the important purposes of your life, that is to learn to navigate life through relationships and to find yourself through one upon one relationships. Not every 7th houser ends up in a happy marriage.

If these ladies try to fulfill their destiny by dating someone in their younger years secretly from their parents and if their parents find out - all hell breaks loose! How dare you disrespect our family image and dignity? How dare you have emotions and feelings for someone and try to date someone like that? How dare you try to take a decision in your life that is not controlled by us?

I have seen ladies with moon in 7th house, jupiter in 7th house, sun in 7th house trying to date someone in their teenage or young adult years, only to end up badly for them that fills them with shame and guilt for going against their family traditions. They impulsively jump into relationship by way of projecting their fantasy and later regret for a lifetime that they are bad person for doing a "dirty" thing. Oh, to have feelings is a dirty thing?

I find it sad that 7th houser ladies are born in conservative societies because it strictly restricts their purpose in life and also fills them with shame and self-doubts because of their desires to find themselves through romantic relationships. Wherever planets are placed in a chart is where the native will feel an insatiable drive to fulfill the needs of that house. Someone with planets in 7th house will instinctively feel the desire to form companionship with a boy and to be completed by someone else.

Often the families are not aware of astrology and blame the native for going against family traditions, rather than simply use their mind that the native's destined path goes through 7th house, something they didn't decide but are naturally motivated for. Native does eventually end up marrying because they cannot escape their destiny but it is always a topic of wonder how their natural desires to deeply invest in a romantic relationship is shunned and criticized in their environment.

"You cannot live without getting into trouble, cannot think, cannot feel; you can do nothing without getting into trouble. For trouble is what we are all looking for; we all hate it—we want to be perfectly nice and frank—but we are looking for trouble."

— Carl Jung, Nietzsche's Zarathustra

8th house Relationship Needs

It's absolutely hilarious how you can get distracted from your own natural needs and desires based on how your equivalent of this energy most commonly manifests in an average person or relationships you have been in. I realised today that I have been unaware of my 8th house desires and perceptions of human relationships, because most people tend not to handle the 8th house well themselves...so it hit me by proxy and made me blind for a long time to my actual preferences, because I thought other people's low behaviour was the norm, and so I must also be low myself. Then I realised I was in pain precisely because I don't like these lower dynamics at all, and that is what brought me so much suffering. Go figure.

I have made posts on the 8th house before, so you know of my intuitive understanding of it's energies. But somehow I have underestimated how these needs translate into my own emotional and practical life...because from my experience they tended to manifest into something toxic that I never actually wanted to begin with.

When you have energies of the 8th house related to your chart ruler, and your chart ruler is Venus, which is linked to your relationships, there is a natural craving for a high level of deep bonding and high intensity of that bond in your life. This can also manifest strongly if any of your main luminaries or Lagna Lord is in the 8th house as well. Even though I only have one 8th house placement, since it's linked to the ascendant lord I relate to it very strongly. Yet it took me so many years to be able to determine the actual functioning of its energies an how it translates into what I want in my life.

The 8th house is very powerful, but it is a difficult spot in the zodiac wheel. It's not for the faint of heart. When people have placements that are difficult for them...it often turns out to be only too easy to succumb into the lower nature of its expression.

I could simplify things and just label the 8th house as dark, dangerous, bad, prone to toxicity, all the things commonly said about it in Astrology circles. I tried to do that in the past, even trying to tell myself I'm ok with such a classification. But deep in my heart I can't agree with that, and I don't want to. I was born with a pure understanding of 8th house energies through my South Node talents for a reason, and the realisation of my desires relative to experiencing the 8th house energies reflect this purity of understanding.

Say what you want about an 8th houser, but I don't like toxic, controlling or unhealthy relationships. I never liked them, and I never wanted them, and I was always unhappy being part of any toxicity. I desire the most refined, pure version of what the 8th house connection can offer. I want deep intimacy without entrapment. I want passion and intensity without heartbreak. I want transparent communication without issues of control, deception and unleashing of unconscious negativity. I want to be able to achieve even more intimacy by talking through this negativity in a civil way when it already comes up. I want that raw emotional experience, that only two people who are completely bare with each other can provide, without needing to feel like it's part of an unhealthy dynamic.

You have to be conscious of and discuss each other's shadow side in order to achieve intimacy in a relationship. That's true. It won't always be perfectly pretty as emotions can run high when triggered, and that is true as well. But it is perfectly possible to have this experience of going to the bottom of the abyss together and returning more whole each time without delivering low blows and doing and saying things below the belt out of fear of vulnerability. Sadly, most people when touched that deeply, tend to try to unleash anger or manipulation and control mechanisms. But it is possible to explore the depths of the mind, heart and soul of another without being destructive in a way that serves no purpose, and can even sabotage the whole intimacy of the connection. It is possible to work through it, even if it's hard. It is possible to have a stable connection even with all these intense energies, without trying to "get out" of the bond due to some triggers or trying to keep side options to avoid the transformation the 8th house requires of us. It is possible, and if I did all of the above, others can do it too.

I have been told many times that it's my fault that I have had relationship difficulties, when people have yet again acted with me in questionable ways, simply because I was not afraid to approach potentially "dangerous" territory...simply by being honest and uncompromising and demanding something truly meaningful for myself. I don't believe in aiming for perfection, but I believe it is possible to have something real without it being completely messed up, even if you have to examine each other's dysfunctions. And that is the only type of relationship I wanted to sign up for to begin with.

Lessons of Saturn in Romance?

I have seen in life of Leo risings (Aquarius in 7th house), Saturn placed in or aspecting 7th house, Saturn in angular houses (1/4/7/10), even Saturn in 5th house (aspects 7th house in vedic) that there is a strange thing that happens. Contrary to the idea of romance that it has to be love and display of emotions, these natives are living a relationship of responsibilities, duties, transactions, hard work. Their relationship is not unconditional, that you are "loved" because you are so cute and pretty and creative and funny; you are "loved" because of your usefulness, reliability and capacity to work hard.

A native I know who went into marriage hoping for dinner dates, singing, dancing, romantic evenings, luxury and aesthetics; but instead their marriage is all about work, work, work. Life keeps throwing challenges at the couple in one way or the other. "I have never relaxed in this marriage, there is always something happening" - the native said to me. I notice native watching movies and listening to romantic song, perhaps daydreaming how an alternate reality would be like, one where things were easy and they did not have to work so hard to keep the relationship going.

A native I know who lived in a lot of imaginations of marriage had to learn the hard way that marriage is not about looking pretty and doing romance, it is rather about you being helpful and useful to your partner, learning things to keep your brain sharp, putting intellectual effort into marriage. Intellectual effort is not easy, it is too hard work to read and learn and understand. Their relationship will only work if the native puts mental and intellectual hard work and also be disciplined because you cannot read and learn at your leisure.

What I mean to say is that some natives have it easier where they get married and travel, hang out, post pics on social media, chat with each other and they do not really challenge each other or put too much effort into relationship. After wedding, they set into their roles and adjust to it, it is a kind of leisurely marriage. On the other hand, Saturnian couples are the ones whose married life is all about discipline, hard work, challenges, figuring things out. Their life path is such that unexpected challenges keep happening all the time. Life keeps pushing them to the challenges even if they do not want to fight.

These natives even wonder why their reality is so different from that of other people they see around them or on media. Since they are not aware of Saturnian impact, they live with a sort of "grass is greener on the other side" feeling. Many natives do not know about astrology and their birth chart, they are caught up in the sociocultural norms but keep resentment because rather than being fun and lighthearted, their romance is all about emotional control and challenges. Maybe they just have too many financial, social, career problems or the partners themselves are too demanding and have high expectations that they have to keep working to fulfill them.

Lessons of Saturn are hard to figure out. Even the internet communities suggest that "love should be unconditional, you do not need to work hard for love, if they cannot love you for yourself then go find someone else". But we know that in real life, it is not so easy to go find another partner just like that. We know that even in the new relationship we will face the same challenges because we have not resolved them. And life is not really that full of opportunities that everywhere you go you find single people looking to date you.

Saturnian couples are the ones who are faced with so many challenges that they start disgusting at love. They cringe at the idea of it, they might even be repulsed by the idea of love because they realize that all this is mere fantasy, childish, narcissistic desires. It is strange, isn't it, how the romantic love is not the same for every couple depending upon their planetary placements? These natives are not necessarily born cold hearted but with age and life experience, they gain maturity and eventually realize that their life path is more challenging than the average.

Emotions associated with Saturn are that of guilt, shame, heaviness, tiredness, discipline, monotony, feeling trapped, feeling stressed and feeling restricted in expressing their desires out of fear that they will be shunned or that life is already so challenging then how can they desire fun and adventures.

There must be some value in hardships; unfortunately society and media do not talk about Saturnian relationships, they are rather seen in philosophical discussions.

Ego battles for Sun in 7h

While it is fruitful to have Sun in 10h/11h for career and public life, the public perception and how you appear in workplace; it is, at the same time, detrimental to have Sun in 7h for relationships both romantic and otherwise.

From 7h, Sun also aspects the 1h, thus giving a personality where the native is ego sensitive, demands a lot of respect and authority. These natives are always looking for respect whether it is their personal relationship or professional, they are insecure if not being given a lot of importance by people in their surroundings.

At the same time, they may have a lot of "self-respect" which is a double edged sword -- 1. on one hand, self respect means that you have standards for how you ought to be treated by others, that you do not tolerate insults and teasing from others even as a joke and 2. on the other hand, it means that you are too egoistic to take help from anyone, you want to do everything yourself and seeking help from anyone feels like incompetence.

This applies to both Sun in 1h and 7h but mostly for 7th housers the problem is that ego works everywhere except in relationships. Whether it is your parents or partner, ego ruins relationships. These are the people who matter to you regardless of their shortcomings, they stand with you through thick and thin. So, we adjust our egos to better settle with the egos of our important people.

In the same way, according to the principle "like attracts like" that I like to use in astro relationships, the partners they attract have similar demands for authority, respect, pride and self-respect. If 7th houser is not consciously aware of their egoistic expectations, it is definitely going to cause problems for the people. So, here the choice is to adjust the need to be "I am right" or "respect me unconditionally" and to understand that it is your expectation that is too high. People cannot respect you all the damn time like you are some royalty. Even if you are a royalty, there will be people who gossip about you behind your backs, can you control them?

Moreover, where does this demand for excessive respect come from? If we explore this demand deeply, we find its roots in the relation to our father which is also indicated by Sun in astrology. In relation to father being excessively hero type or being too cold, we are either too demanding of respect overtly or covertly. For sun in 1h, they act too much like their father who himself was a grandiose type personality who liked to be in limelight. For sun in 7h, they are covertly demanding the limelight, father was likely a figure to be feared and intimidating authority. In any case, the personality of 1st houser and 7th houser Sun are similar.

Difference lies in the area of life; whereas the 1st houser will focus on self image but the 7th houser will focus on other image. The goal is to find respect and recognition.

The 8th House.

“No more the victory of spirit over matter and definitely not the victory of matter over spirit – the next stage is not one overcoming the other, but a merge.”

— Frederick Nietzsche

Shrouded in mystery, the 8th house continues to riddle those who refuse to consciously plunge into it’s depths. This house belongs to scorpio and pluto, who take no prisoners. This is the area between life and death, the transcendental void where all possibilities exist. The 8th house contains within it, hidden treasures and guarded secrets of the occult mysteries. Those who superficially seek it’s riches for power are lured into it’s dark waters where they are led to a spiritual imprisonment of their own demise. The knowledge attained here is sacred and those who happen to stumble upon such information without first establishing proper spiritual maturation and discernment are forewarned. Prematurely eating from the fruit can come with a high cost and dissolution of the “veil of ignorance” must not be rushed by the ego. This house is not concerned with affairs of the flesh but rather total dissolution, purification, and transformation. Natives with heavy 8th house placements are learning lessons of surrender and the proper use of power. It’s only through facing ones darkest, innermost demons that the shadows of the past are finally brought into the light of awareness and the shackles that have bound us to these unforgiving cycles are finally released. Through sacrifice and dedication, those who brave the unforged path to self mastery are awarded the ultimate gift of spiritual liberation. True wisdom is only attained through experience.