Nah Man- He Doesnt Wanna Start Fights- He Wants To Silently Laugh His Ass Off- He Is A Cat Sitting Next

Nah man- he doesn’t wanna start fights- he wants to silently laugh his ass off- he is a cat sitting next to a broken vase and acting innocent

I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.

I feel like all couples should paint something together as a form of connection and when they break up they must stab the canvas and if they get back together they must tape it back together. Each time it will get harder and harder to keep together and will put into perspective how their relationship has been. It would also help people who are blinded by concept of love to snap themselves out of their need to feel loved and see may not be healthy. This painting should then be displayed on their wedding day as a symbol of their connection.

So funny moment from dnd today:

The party gets off a ship into the land of the forgotten and approaches a man with a clipboard who is keeping track of those entering the island

We introduce ourselves to the man and he marks 5 of our names with red x’s

The man: “this is the land of the forgotten where people go to be forgotten and where criminals are sent to be gotten rid of. Some of you should be more careful as people will want you gone either for a bounty, your past, or your race”

The man points at the human sorcerer(idk why), goliath cleric (cult leader and runaway slave), high elf warlock (stole an ancient artifact and follower of the aforementioned cult), the tiefling artificer [me] (teifling typically have a bad rep and, from what I’ve heard, it’s even worse in this campaign), and I forgot the 5th person

We proceed to get jumped by bounty hunters, a gun is to the goliaths head and a knife is to our eladrin fighters throat

Everyone panics

…understandably so

People are yelling trying to talk the bounty hunters out of killing people, people are debating running, nothing is getting done

Like 5 minutes into this chaos I ask to make a perception check which causes a cutscene that literally just fixes everything as a level 20 npc (a mentor character) points a shot gun at the bounty hunters and tells them they messed with the wrong people (he is a comrade of the eladrin fighter and both are war heroes)

This was the dms plan

We panicked for nothing

FISH GODESS

kokomi <3

WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

Always an angel never a God

You mean a rubbery?

COMMENCE THE RUBBER DUCKIE INVASION!

Me: Listen, Brain, we need a creative and beautiful idea to draw

My Brain: