Life Tip #18

Life Tip #18

if you feel bad about yourself, just know that the bar for 2018 has been set so low that you could wish somebody a nice day and be praised as a god for not being a complete dick. you’re doing amazing sweetie ;))

Life Tip #14

stay alive during finals week by imagining your teachers falling into your demonic void that curses them to bad luck for just long enough to not have a fun New Year’s Eve if they don’t give you a good grade

Life Tip #6

unsure of how to flirt? learn to yodel so you can impress all of your prospective partners through the power of your mating call

Life Tip #20

start making a paper star for every day of your life and store them secretly around your house, and only tell people about it in your will. when it comes for your funeral, have someone release all your paper stars into the crowd of mourners. the next person to make a speech must tearfully wipe their eyes and mention how you were always starry-eyed. the person that laughs must drown in the stars bc that shit’s disrepectful

Life Tip #19

too tired to throw out or take down a fake/real Christmas tree? buy one that easily fits through your door and just push it outside every year and bring it back indoors during the Christmas season so your fake tree will act like a decoration while your real tree dies and sets up a creepy forest right in your own backyard!! exciting!!

Life Tip #1

not the most popular person in your school? spread rumors about those who are and watch triumphantly as their social status crumbles from underneath them and you alone are left standing