Life Tip #37

Life Tip #37

always stock up on soap you can store in your bags so that way, if somebody particularly repulsive stands to close to you or tries to talk to you, you can just dump it on them! 

pros: they now smell nice, have to find water to wash it off and get away from you, it’s not inconveniencing enough to be charged with assault, and it’s relatively cheap. 

cons: ??

Life Tip #43

with halloween growing closer and closer, it’s time to pull out the list of amazing fun-filled family-friendly classic halloween movies! choose from titles such as:

1. the nightmare before christmas - the heartwarming story of a guy who stepped out of his comfort zone and ruined everything! truly inspiring!

2. mickey mouse’s house of villains - classic disney villains learn that if at first you don’t succeed, try again! and fail again!

3. it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown - heartbreaking! a kid reserves a seat for a giant pumpkin and he fails to show up. you hate to see this kind of thing.

4. hocus pocus - trying to impress your crush goes terribly wrong. a big fucking mood.

Life Tip #33

learn to wear high heels because not only will you be able to boost your height, but it makes amazing clack clack noises when you walk on solid floors and cute squishy noises when you step on the feet of your enemies!!

Life Tip #26

is someone creepy asking for directions! give it to them! the directions to the nearest ditch. so they can fucking die in it. 

Life Tip #48

entertainment doesn’t save lives but it does save hearts. get out there and show the universe what your creative minds and fervor are made of.

r.i.p. stan lee, the man who carved the pathway for inspiration, hope, and imagination. thank you for making our favorite comic book heroes and for making the heroes of the next generation.

we are human, as well as super.

may the universe treat you well.

Life Tip #35

struggling to unscramble all your problems and get yourself sorted out? well fear no more, because it’s the 21st century and there are multiple websites where you can enter in your problems and it’ll rearrange them for you! ex. procrastinate becomes aristocrate so all i have to do to solve that problem is find a rich person who really likes boxes. i’m a fucking genius :))