Its Probable That The Most Pathetic, Rafal-core Thing One Can Do Is Pack Ones Black And Navy Shirts In

It’s probable that the most pathetic, Rafal-core thing one can do is pack one’s black and navy shirts in a suitcase before leaving because one has to let a small, open wound breathe without a bandage and can’t visibly seep blood all over the sleeves of good, white shirts. 0/10. Would not recommend.

Read both polls before voting to distinguish between what the questions are asking. The second poll is in the reblog.

See the reblog for the second poll.

I LOVE this so much! Do you think the same thing would happen if Rafal set foot in Gavaldon's church? /j

Also, fantastic comedic timing!

Since we were talking about how easily Rafal would burn in the sun, I decided to draw a little scenario where Rhian tries to convince him to step foot into the light, and he gets crisped.

MODERN AU: Rafal's reaction to Rhian getting into a car crash.

We all know this happened

Several days post-car crash:

Rafal: [hears the clink of porcelain in their mudroom and races into the hall to find Rhian holding an empty dish that once held his car key.]

Rhian: [incredulously] Rafal?

Rafal: [sternly] What. Why are you out of bed? It's 6 am. Your first class doesn't start until 9 and mine's at 3.

Rhian: I need to check my mail at the university. And before you say anything: I wasn't injured in the collision, and I can't fathom why you're treating me as if I were. Next thing I know, you will have strapped me down like I belong in a psych ward.

Rafal: [musing] ...not a bad suggestion.

Rhian: Rafal. Just give me my car key back.

Rafal: Which key?

Rhian: You know which one.

Rafal: Fine. [He hands a key to Rhian.]

Rhian: ...this is the key to my mailbox at the university.

Rafal: And you'll need it when you return. I'm not sure why you trusted your ex as a TA. In fact, I seem to recall that the last accepted call on your phone was minutes before you veered into the highway railing. And it was from Hook.

Rhian: Not funny, Rafal. I thought he would take me back.

Rafal: No, it's not funny at all.

Rhian: You know, I can't check my mailbox if I can't drive to campus.

Rafal: You're not going anywhere. If you set one foot out of this house, I will hack into your gradebook and fail every one of your Intro. to Chivalric Romance freshmen, and you'll be out of a job.

Rhian: [spluttering]

Rafal: I'm not finished. Then, next year, they'll all have to transfer to my intro. course, Regency Era Resurrectionists and Anatomists in Irish Lit., and I know your students don't want to discuss the phases of decay in my slides as they'd rather go weak in the knees over love, not exhumations.

Rhian: I could report you, lackwit. For poaching my students.

Rafal: You wouldn't.

Rhian: [sighs] What do I have to do?

Rafal: [gloating] Ah, I'm ever so pleased to hear that.

Rhian: [still looking distressed] What choice did I have?

Rafal: Let's see. First: Fire Hook. Second: Give me your phone and I'll give you your keys.

Rhian: Fine. [He takes a deep breath, hands Rafal his phone, swearing up and down to fire Hook the next time he sees the boy. Though, he plans to hand off a letter of recommendation to the boy when Rafal isn't watching.]

Rafal: [hands Rhian a keyring and promptly blocks Hook's number before deleting it from Rhian's contacts.]

Rhian: [examines the keyring.] Garden shed, back door, front gate, storage unit—oh, shouldn't have bought that chandelier in the end—paper shredder, garage doors, and no car key. [He glares at Rafal.]

Rafal: I didn't specify all of them.

Rhian: You. What do I have to do to convince you I'm a safe driver? I'm a grown man!

Rafal: [unperturbedly] One: You can't pretend [he pitches his voice up mockingly and waves his hands like Rhian does] that everything's all 'tickety-boo' when it's not. Two: You're getting worked up. Can you see it, or do you need a mirror? Intense emotions interfere with driving. You'll get your keys back the day you're not in love with someone or another.

Rhian: But—

Rafal: Shut it, or I'll rescind my offer to drive you.

You're welcome to explain below!

EDIT: The resultant discussions inspired this new post!