When I Was First Trying To Figure Out What The Fuck Was Wrong With Me I Initially Googled Like. Bpd.

when i was first trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me i initially googled like. bpd. and was like oh this kind of sounds like me but i also dont feel enough for it.

and then i googled aspd and was like oh this kind of sounds like me but i care too much for it.

and then i didnt look any fucking further like a dumbass

me tryna figure out which pd i have

image id: the meme with the guy that has a detective board and looks crazy

One of the worst possible things about having bpd is having no sense of self.

Imagine going through life tied down to a total stranger. I am constantly changing, not knowing what I like or don’t like. I base my value on other people around me. Isn’t that so fucking pathetic? And there’s nothing to do that can change it.

I am a stranger to myself and nobody hates the way I am more than I do.

npd culture is not caring about the consequences of your actions on others. if i did you wrong, i will apologise and change the best i can but do not expect me to feel anything for you. i do care and never will, especially for someone like you.

.

I asked a friend who is a sociopath (diagnosed with ASPD, he refers to himself as a sociopath which is why I’m calling him that) what love feels like to him and how he knows when he loves someone.

I loved his answer. He said “Routine. If they are a part of my routine and feel familiar and comfortable and I would feel like something is missing if they weren’t there, then I think I love them.”

I have bpd with ASPD traits and I think his answer was so cute. I think that is what love is like for me too but I’ve never heard it so succinctly explained, perfect summarization.

my anhedonia is eating me alive so i’m making these mental illness memes to cope