Actually

actually

being aroacespec is wonderful

i enjoy being alone, w/o a partner of any kind

but that doesn’t mean im lonely, i have my friends and hobbies and isnt the sun in the morning the most beautiful thing????? the sound of rain??? laughing at a funny post until your stomach hurts?? isnt this community we built absolutely amazing????

i am not cold-hearted, im not a robot & most importantly, im happy this way

i just wish that little me wasnt fed so much crap growing up about finding “the one”; i wish someone told me sooner that i dont have to have relationships to complete me, that there were others like me, that im not wrong for feeling the way i do, that theres different ways of being & experiencing the world

but i have more of life to live & places to see & things to obsess over; theres always more

Something that’s always bothered me about being chronically ill is how my parents don’t try to listen

they pat my legs and ask me when I’m getting rid of my wheelchair, like never Zoe I can physically only cope for 15 minutes a day without pain walking

The researched my condition and told me I don’t have it really, that I don’t look the part, my body is falling apart and my family are waiting for me to get better

I’ll never get better that’s the thing that they don’t understand

[check out the gofundme in my pinned post to help me get a new wheelchair!]

As a disabled wheelchair user something that has always annoyed me about the x-men fandom is how they ignore and “fix” Charles disability

Either people write that the bullet missed him or he got better or they just completely ignore the fact that he is a paralysed wheelchair user

Like why is him being disabled so much more difficult to write then him being able bodied

Why does Charles have to be able bodied in order to be in a romantic relationship

Why does fan art cut out his wheelchair

Why does no one want to see a disabled person being represented

https://gofund.me/a21f9a21 [please consider donating to help me fund my medical expenses]

Okay so for context I was told I don’t have pots right

But I’m hooked up to a heart rate monitor and my sitting bpm is around 75 (sometimes it dips to 44 but that’s a separate issue)

When I stand up it gradually goes up to sit in the 120-30 bpm but if I don’t stand up carefully it can go to 160 bpm

I don’t know what to do about this because either I’m in a cold sweat bc my heart rate is 45 or I’m shaking bc it’s 160

At this point I’m a little scared (I thought I was dying for a hot minute when my bpm stayed at 140-60 for a whole hour (I watched the entire x men movie in this time)

Any advice would be appreciated

Somebody get him a new X-Men movie before he starts killing Marvel execs