Pots Syndrome - Tumblr Posts
The friend finally randomly replied.... with the typical conversation occurring of
Me: *reaches out*
Her: *leaves on read for a few days then replies* I was distant because I thought you should reflect on your actions.
Me: What actions??
Her: The fact you dont even know is why I distanced.
Me: I'm sorry. You didnt tell me something upset you so how would I know? People dont always know something they do or say upsets you. Thats something you have to communicate so we can clear the air/work on it.
Her: Here we are again with you simply not knowing youre wrong. It's all here in our chat.
Me: You. Didnt. Tell. Me. But also it's in the chat? You mean the chat where I told you that you upset me with how you spoke to me? The chat where I bared my heart and mind about having pots and being neurodivergent? About how you treated my medical issues and mental struggles as character flaws instead of what they are, medical conditions? How you spoke to me in a very ableist manner repeatedly when I tried in vain to explain that I wasnt blowing you off xyz times because I didnt care but that because I was having flare ups in symptoms? THAT chat? Because you getting upset that I was honest with you about how you made me feel and why is your problem not mine.
You being a neurotypical, indirect, ableist, holier than thou, MEANIE, is your problem not mine. I was sitting here grieving the loss of a long-time friendship for 2 months because you couldn't be bothered to communicate with me like an adult. I literally do not understand people. I dont understand how you think the way you're treating me is totally okay. I was depressed as fuck but now I'm just more hurt and angry.
Angry that you refuse to accept that someone you were friends with for years decided to confide in you that they were autistic+adhd+pots. Officially verbalizing it. To you. And you just.... shut me out like I was trash. How fucking dare you. How absolutely fucking dare you.
I'm heartbroken, still. Which you don't deserve. I'll miss you terribly. Which you dont deserve. My kids will miss your kids, which is depressing for them as I have a total of 3 mom friends with kiddos their age which is now only 2 I guess. (Not including my new tumblr mom bestie who we havent actually chatted chatted cuz, I'm shy as fuck in the beginning of friendships. But I digress.)
I just.... I'm so hurt. I am so hurt. She doesn't.... even understand how hurtful she is and that's worse. Fucking ironic considering I communicate with her clearly about what upsets me and why and yet it simply doesnt sink in what I'm saying. She simply COULDNT be the reason I'm upset and hurt.
I can't even think anymore right now. This is too much. Honestly I was starting to accept the no contact and her replying with more ableist shit just reopened the wound.
YEP
Does anyone else with POTS get a really upset stomach when you’re having an episode? Also when it’s hot/too warm (probably related to episode-having)? Like it’s so fuckin embarrassing to be shitting into the nth dimension and also being on the brink of passing out, like nah I won’t call for help actually lol I will simply die in this toilet stall
But yeah is this a common experience with POTSy people?
Well that friend and I are officially over with. She successfully got me to be the one to end it. So she doesn't feel in the wrong.
I'm over it. I'm over being on the recieving end of purposeful miscommunication. I'm done feeling like my pots and audhd are character flaws.
I'm done BEGGING to be spoken with clearly and effectively whenever there's been a tiff. I'm just done. I'm done. I wish you and your family the best. But we cannot be friends anymore.
I'm going to grieve for a while, for sure. But. It has to be done for my peace. (And clearly for yours too)
My kids are still young enough that they'll get over the loss of friendship with your kids pretty quickly. For that I am thankful.
I just want peace and respect from my future friendships to come. As I'm still hopeful there are more to come.
You're never to old to lose a friend. You're also never to old to make new ones either. Despite how it feels or seems sometimes.
My chronically ill, always in pain ass, just got two toddlers and myself, showered. Husband helped during wiggly moments. While I'm now in physical HELL..... I still feel accomplished.
My entire back/shoulders are shot with pain. My chest is scratched up either because of the hair clip my youngest held as a distraction, or his nails I forgot to trim before the shower vs after.
Siiiigggghhhhhh
That's it. That is our/my activity of the day. There will be no more. We are relaxing the rest of the evening.
Only thing I'm not looking forward to is laying in bed. We lost most of our sheets when we moved, somehow, so we have 2 sheet sets. One has gone missing recently. The other is on the bed and currently nearing needing washed. The only sheets that don't agitate my skin are like $54 here 🫠🫠
Another thing I think a lot of people take for granted. Not having to have specific bedding that doesn't agitate their skin.
Best friend hosted a yard sale today. I barely did anything and yet my entire body is wrecked. Full body severe aching and pain. My hands for some reason are the worst of it??? Not sure why or how.
I took a shower and a nap when I got home but I am still barely able to move. My body is stiff from overheating and pain. We're doing the sale again tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be better!! I'm debating bringing a change of clothes. I was drenched in sweat the few hours I was there which caused my whole body to break out in a rash. (Idk why this happens when I sweat, my skin hates my sweat, and rashes out real bad if I dont immediately shower)
So I realized my body was done in by the set up and tear down of the first day of the sale. (Day before yesterday) which granted was a lot of work. But. This isnt normal. I shouldn't be trainwrecked from one day of what is considered mild to moderate activity.
I've had migraines since Thursday, too. Felt full body aches and deep pains 5x my every day levels. (Which should be zero if i was healthy/normal, but it isnt. I'm constantly at a 2-4 it seems especially lately, and thats the low/baseline)
I have got to get an appointment with my doctor scheduled..... my best friend is coming with me for support/advocating reasons. I just am so tired of feeling like shit literally 24/7.
Best friend hosted a yard sale today. I barely did anything and yet my entire body is wrecked. Full body severe aching and pain. My hands for some reason are the worst of it??? Not sure why or how.
I took a shower and a nap when I got home but I am still barely able to move. My body is stiff from overheating and pain. We're doing the sale again tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be better!! I'm debating bringing a change of clothes. I was drenched in sweat the few hours I was there which caused my whole body to break out in a rash. (Idk why this happens when I sweat, my skin hates my sweat, and rashes out real bad if I dont immediately shower)
Vent
We have someone coming to look at the house tomorrow and preparing for it is a stark reminder that I'm not able bodied and haven't been for years.
It wouldn't be as stressful had I been able to work on stuff the whole weekend. But my new meds basically made me comatose the entire weekend from how sick they made me so nothing got done. At all.
Stuff that ableds can easily maintain, are things that I'm festering in. Our dishwasher broke, and with my husband working himself to death and my pots and audhd and tbd fibro, I just can't. I can't keep up.
We just threw away so many dishes because they weren't salvageable. I just filled the bathtub with dishes that were, to soak and scrub later this morning. My entire body is screaming in pain from scrubbing one stack of plates. One. Stack. Of plates. That's like, maybe a dozen?
My hands are cramping up and soon I won't be able to use them for a bit until they unlock. My entire back/shoulders are locking up as I speak.
I hate this. I fucking hate this. We even use disposable a lot but there are times disposable is too flimsy for the meal we have. Or it requires bowls that are sturdy.
I am getting laundry put away, but immediately refilling the baskets with the dirty. The washing machines are going nonstop. But sitting and folding hurts my entire body so much. Hands and back/shoulders mostly.
If we could afford a weekly cleaner/some laundry help we would. In a heartbeat. But we can't. We aren't even paycheck to paycheck. We're always having to shift stuff around and with the year we've had? Big ticket items of the house breaking and multiple illnesses on top of chronic illness.... we just can't.....
I hate it so much.... we need help. But there is no help right now.
I'm an idiot.
So tachycardia and high pulse pressure feel about the same to me. I felt this, and assumed I was tachycardic. Collapsed on the couch and husband grabbed my meds to slow down my heart.
Low and behold, my heartrate was actually slow but with high pulse pressure. So because I panicked and didn't check my pulse in my haze before taking my meds, husband will now have to keep a close eye on me for the next while.
I reiterate. I'm an idiot.
(I didn't get any sleep last night and usually when that happens my tachycardia hits a loootttttttttt for the 24 hrs after an insomnia all nighter.)
CHECK YOUR VITALS. NEVER ASSUME.
HR has consistently been 56 all day.
Very thankful it's husband's day off. He's been holding down the fort while I was out cold until just a lil while ago.
I'm an idiot.
So tachycardia and high pulse pressure feel about the same to me. I felt this, and assumed I was tachycardic. Collapsed on the couch and husband grabbed my meds to slow down my heart.
Low and behold, my heartrate was actually slow but with high pulse pressure. So because I panicked and didn't check my pulse in my haze before taking my meds, husband will now have to keep a close eye on me for the next while.
I reiterate. I'm an idiot.
(I didn't get any sleep last night and usually when that happens my tachycardia hits a loootttttttttt for the 24 hrs after an insomnia all nighter.)
CHECK YOUR VITALS. NEVER ASSUME.
I know that POTS isn’t a very serious diagnoses. A lot of people have it much worse. But I’m still struggling with the diagnosis, and it’s a weird feeling acknowledging that this is how it’s going to be from now on. That I’m just going to have to play life a bit safe. That there are things I struggle with. That there’s no pill to take or surgery to do.
My life is just a little trickier than I thought it would be. And that’s tough.
Isnt it unfair how you can grow up with the luck of having a working body, getting used to everything working the way it should, being happy, being healhty, just for it all to be ripped away as you get older. Having to get used to the idea of never doing the things you loved again, and people expecting you to be okay throughout it all.
having a restrictive eating d!sorder while also being chronically I'll and disabled is so hard. cause on one hand I want to be SUPPERRRRR skinny and not eat anything, but on the other, I need to eat breakfast every day, I need to get enough sodium, or I'll pass out every two fucking minutes. all the ed girls talk about liking felling dizzy but Everytime u git dizzy it means something completely different. ND being skinny will just make my disability worse.
GOD I HATE THIS
into of my blog :3
I'm a minor ☺️🔪
I post about my relationship, my life, my disability(s) ,and my @norex!a
if you don't like that don't report just block
I will sometimes use the tag #prøana or something like that, I am not pro ana, I just don't want to recover
thank you guys for the support up untill now and in the future<33
hey guys, sorry I've been gone for so long.
I recently got my official diagnosis of POTS and hEDS.
dieting and losing weight has been so hard for the past few weeks and I've ended up gaining. I'm currently 90 kg/ 207 lbs give or take.
I'm gonna try to start losing again by reducing my intake, eating more fiber and protein, taking longer to eat, and drinking more water.
please be kind as I can't exercise so I can't lose as quickly as I used to :(
all my mobility aids are gonna be pink 🐱
I hated pink as a kid
look at me now
dating with chronic/terminal illness feels impossible sometimes.
Okay so for context I was told I don’t have pots right
But I’m hooked up to a heart rate monitor and my sitting bpm is around 75 (sometimes it dips to 44 but that’s a separate issue)
When I stand up it gradually goes up to sit in the 120-30 bpm but if I don’t stand up carefully it can go to 160 bpm
I don’t know what to do about this because either I’m in a cold sweat bc my heart rate is 45 or I’m shaking bc it’s 160
At this point I’m a little scared (I thought I was dying for a hot minute when my bpm stayed at 140-60 for a whole hour (I watched the entire x men movie in this time)
Any advice would be appreciated
⭐Vitamin Cheat Sheet⭐
Vitamin A: Vision, immune system, skin health.
Vitamin B1 (Thiamine): Energy metabolism, nerve function.
Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin): Energy production, skin health.
Vitamin B3 (Niacin): Cellular energy production, skin health.
Vitamin B5 (Pantothenic Acid): Metabolism, hormone production.
Vitamin B6: Brain function, mood regulation.
Vitamin B7 (Biotin): Healthy hair, skin, and nails.
Vitamin B9 (Folate): Cell division, DNA synthesis.
Vitamin B12: Nervous system, red blood cells.
Vitamin C: Immune system, collagen synthesis.
Vitamin D: Bone health, immune function.
Vitamin E: Antioxidant, skin health.
Vitamin K: Blood clotting, bone health.
Calcium: Bone and teeth health, muscle function.
Iron: Oxygen transport, energy production.
Magnesium: Nerve function, muscle relaxation.
Zinc: Immune system, wound healing.
Potassium: Fluid balance, nerve function.
Iodine: Thyroid function, metabolism.
Selenium: Antioxidant, thyroid health.
It's been so long since I've had to worry about my body being all weird on me and making me pass out and stuff, I forgot how scary it was lol. I got up to go throw something away and halfway out of my room, I got overwhelmingly lightheaded, my head started to hurt, my vision when almost completely black and I lost all strength in my legs, collapsing right there on HARD WOOD FLOOR. Ouch!!
I guess it's kind of my fault because I haven't been doing my exercises and stuff like I was supposed to be. I've gone so long without these problems I thought "Hey I don't need these anymore" and then BOOM. The physical therapist told me to do them for a reason😭😭