Post-canon Sect Gatherings Are About To Be Wild. Listen. Jin Guangyao Is Dead, Lan Xichen Is In Seclusion,

Post-canon sect gatherings are about to be wild. Listen. Jin guangyao is dead, lan xichen is in seclusion, jin ling is jin ling, and we haven’t met any other competent sect leader ever. Post-canon sect gatherings are p much all on jiang cheng and huaisang to manage. And sure huaisang could help but. He’s a little shit. If it ain’t a qinghe nie problem, he’s not here for it!!! The second sect leader yao opens his mouth, huaisang is halfway out the door! He has no reputation to save and hasn’t slept in over 10 years!!! He doesn’t care! And jiang cheng! Is Jiang Cheng!

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jiang cheng: and where do you think you’re going?!

nie huaisang, leaving the meeting: stress is bad for the baby

jiang cheng: what baby?

nie huaisang: me. I’m baby

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jiang cheng: are you taking shots?!

nie huaisang: yeah want some?

jiang cheng: ………..yes give it here

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nie huaisang: this is the best way to go about this

other leaders: we don’t believe you

nie huaisang, really doesn’t care what they do anymore this meeting has been going on for 5 hours: that sounds like a you problem

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nie huaisang seeing off those sect leaders who refused to listen to him: bye! I trust in your ability to handle this your way!!!

nie huaisang: there’s a 30% chance they’re all gonna die

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jiang cheng: slices a table in half

jiang cheng, throwing some money at the broken table: I’ll pay for that

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other sect leaders: is this… a liability waiver?

nie huaisang: yeah I had some written up after sect leader jiang broke that guy’s legs last meeting? anyways everyone sign one before going in please

other sect leader: maybe…. sect leader jiang could stop injuring people at meetings instead?

nie huaisang: hahaha No. don’t forget to date your signature.

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jiang cheng: either we start agreeing or I’m gonna get the whip

nie huaisang: diplomacy at its finest

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nie huaisang: everyone, welcome to the banquet! the unclean realms welcomes all its allies!

jiang cheng: wei wuxian is sucking face with lan wangji right behind you

nie huaisang: this ain’t about them

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nie huaisang: sorry I’m late. I ran into a problem on the way

jiang cheng: what problem?

nie huaisang: not wanting to come

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nie huaisang: we need to do something about your temper. how about you just do what I do?

jiang cheng: which is?

nie huaisang: every time sect leader yao talks I imagine shoving my fist down his throat and watching him choke on it slowly, clutching at his neck, as his face turns blue and he dies.

nie huaisang: really puts me in a much better mood :)

jiang cheng: …. noted

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jiang cheng vividly imagining killing sect leader yao: oh hey

nie huaisang: what did I tell you?

#when your sibling says literally anything

Piece I done for the cute @mdzsfashionzine ! Little A-Ling picking Lotus with Purple uncle 💜

and if there’s a reason i’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died

Jiang Cheng for @lanzhanss

Breathtaking. 

Jiang Cheng: I'm sad

Wei Wuxian: Whenever I am sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead

Jiang Cheng*purple lightning insensify*: My goodness what an idea! Why didn't I think of that?!

Nie Huaisang smirking behind his fan: I was in bed with both of them once