Don't Fucking Interrupt Me When I'm Reading My X Reader Fics It's Rude

don't fucking interrupt me when i'm reading my x reader fics it's rude

Soulmates with Oni Kirishima

Oni Kirishima x Fem Reader

Context: Everyone has a soulmate. You just never thought yours would be the leader of the Onis attacking your village.

Note: Reader is described as full like once by Kirishima. #ChubbyChaserKirishima. Some suggestive writing but no NSFW.

Word count: { 2.5k }

Ever since you were a child you always believed that soulmates were a magical thing. Sharing a bond with someone so deep that it ties your souls together so that you can never really be separated. You saw it with your parents and you saw it with your friends and their partners. Everyone had one. It sometimes took people years to find there's but most of the time, the older you got, the harder it became to find them. 

You were the unfortunate friend to always have to witness your friends and siblings and everyone else find theirs. Some of their soulmates were part of your village, others would just stumble upon a passing traveler and realise that they were meant to be together. Some were even tied to mythical beings, like water dryads and mages. 

You never had one.

You knew that they were out there somewhere. Your softly glowing chest would tell you that their heart still beat with yours, but you could never find them. Sometimes you could have one but you would never meet. Some of the other women in your village would whisper and gossip saying that you were cursed or you were a bad omen for the other couples, that they would never reunite. Just normal villagers talk. You were used to it and you knew you couldn’t change their perspectives of you. 

It was one day when your friend, Mei Hatsume offered you to go with her to visit her soulmate just a days ride away. You had done all your chores for the day anyways and you wanted the break so you packed up your things, told your parents and headed off. It was a long ride, mostly filled with laughter and loud banter between you and your friend but you made it. There you found her partner and you stayed over with them. 

It was just around supper time when you went to collect water at the well in town. Your head was stuck in the clouds wondering what would be for dinner. It was then where you noticed that there was an ominous pink glow in the bucket. You realised it was a reflection of your own image. Your chest glowed a bright pink, the shadow of your heart outlined by it. 

You frantically looked around the area you were in. Your soulmate was close by. They had found you or you had found them. Which ever it was, you couldn’t wait to go and follow the glow of your beating heart. With a huge smile on your face, you picked up the water bucket and headed back to where you were staying with Hatsume and her partner. 

The sound of drums filled the air making you stop in your tracks. Drums. The drums were only ever beaten when there was an attack. When something was wrong. You waited as you turned your head towards the direction of the town gates. A bell rang frantically. A little boy, with a satchel overflowing with items, ran through the streets. You saw people peak out of their homes to see what was going on. 

“ONI ATTACK!” He shouted. “GET TO THE WOODS!” He shouted. You heard people gasp and scream as everyone scrambled to get their things.

You instantly dropped the bucket as fear coarse through your veins. 

Oni. 

They were ginormous, tough and loud creatures that left only destruction in their wake. Oni with their giant clubs, sharp teeth and pointy horns. They were said to be barbaric, boisterous and vulgar with their short revealing clothing and crude language. They were plunderers and they were a force to be reckoned with. 

“Mei.” Her name left your lips like the name of a long forgotten song. You quickly raced, leaving the bucket behind to find her. You pushed past people to try and get to where you were staying. You had to find her and get the three of you out of here. You saw light coming near the entrance of the village. Shouts and battle cries of Oni warriors flooding the gates filled the air along with smoke. You felt adrenalin flood your body as you raced over to where you were staying. “MEI!” You stopped in the open doorway of their residents. 

No one was there. It was dark and empty with everything important seemingly gone along with them. Nothing but the still bubbling pot of food hanging above the fire. They were gone. You could only hope that it was out of the village. You decided to head towards the woods as fast as possible. Your legs burning as you ran towards the treeline where everyone else seemed to be heading. You heard the shouts of people being taken by warriors. 

You tried your best to focus on just heading towards the darkness of the trees. Standing there, her pink hair barely visible in the darkness was Hatsume. Her and her partner looking around for you. Her gold clockwork like eyes locked onto you instantly. “Y/N!” She screamed your name as she reached a hand out for you to grab. “Run!” 

You tried not to retort back a sarcastic comment as best as you could as you pushed to run faster. You felt heavy vibrations coming towards you and before you knew it, you were swept off the ground. You released a scream in shock as arms wrapped around you. You wiggled your legs and pushed at the Oni that had gotten ahold of you. “Let go of me!” You shouted as you punched at his chest. 

He let out a laugh. He had silver swept hair, two horns that came out by his hairline. He had sharp teeth and black onyx eyes with light blond thick eyelashes. He looked at you as if you were adorable. “Cute.” He let out deeply. “I take you too.” He hauled you over his shoulder and walked back towards where ever he had come from. You tried to wiggle and get free but you couldn’t. He was just too strong. 

“Y/N!” Hatsume shouted with tears in her eyes as she was being pulled away from you. 

You reached an arm out to her as a futile attempt to get to her. You couldn’t find the words to say anything. You couldn’t call out to her. She needed to escape. It was best for her and you if she escaped. At least you could live with yourself knowing she was safe. 

The giant silver haired Oni carried you over to where they were keeping the other captives in the town square. Some people were able to escape but on the way you couldn’t help but notice the dead bodies that scattered the once calm village. You were hauled down onto your butt where all the others were. The villagers gave each other comfort as they bickered worried of their fate. You looked up at the Oni that had brought you. He had walked off just a bit to talk to some other oni warriors in their native tongue. You couldn’t understand a word of what they were saying but considering they went in the direction he pointed them to, he must hold some sort of power above them. 

You wondered, for Oni… they sure didn’t treat you as rough as you thought they would. Yah you saw the occasional dead body and that was never a sight someone would want to see randomly but most of the people they manage to catch were here with you. So what was going on? 

You had heard once that Oni kept slaves to make their jobs easier. You wondered if you would be used as a slave. You grimaced at the thought. You hoped not, but working for them seemed better than dying at the hands of one right now. Your chest hadn’t stopped glowing pink and had actually brightened up. You held your body closer to you, you prayed that your soulmate wasn’t among the people here with you.

One by one, people were being escorted to where a particular Oni sat. He was huge but you couldn’t get a good look at him. He must have been the chief of the hoard or the commander of the raid. You didn’t want to be presented to him. You saw that whatever he decided, it would decide your fate. He would point to the left or to the right and say some words too. Suddenly you felt big hands grab under your arms and lift you up. You grunted in protest as you tried to unhand them from your body but you literally couldn’t even weaken their grip. 

You were placed back down on your feet in front of him. You looked up to face him, like all of the other humans did. That’s when you met the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen in your life. Red rubies filled with life and vibrancy. His eyes seemed to almost light up in interest once he saw you. The Oni who seemed to run the show, as much as he was ginormous, he was mysteriously handsome. He had long thick locks of red hair that fell down his shoulders. There were two horns that came from the front of his hairline, they faded from his tanned skin to the same bright red as his hair. His bare chest exposed his muscles and the years of hard work, fighting and experience he had endured. There were tattoos on his left arm that you could probably trace for ours. Although with everything so scary about him, he had such kind eyes. A small scar ran on the right one. But what mostly caught your eye was his glowing pink chest. 

Both your chests glowed gold and then the glowing died down as if it wasn’t practically bathing the both of you in light.

He looked you up and down in intrigue. So this was you? He had to thank the gods for such a gift because you were perfect to him. From your figure to your skin to your face. He wondered how pretty you would look beside him. How amazing you would be pampered by him. He sat up straight and leaned forward. His hand cupping your chin to keep you looking up at him. You froze at his touch. His hands were a bit rough and calloused but they were warm to you. “Hm.” He hummed. “How small.” He let out. His intense red eyes ran your figure, unable to truly look away. “How full.” His eyes flickered up to your eyes for a moment. You couldn’t help your face becoming hot at that statement. It felt like he could see, feel and know everything about you with one look. You opened your mouth to say something but he then grabbed at your body. You were forcefully pulled to sit on his lap. This action caused you and the other captives to suck in a breath in fear. You felt so small against him, as you felt surrounded by him. He was really warm, like your own personal big blanket. Somehow you didn’t feel out of place there in his lap. “Name?” He asked, peering down at you. His hands caressed your arms and shoulders, gently massaging them to get you to ease up. 

You wanted to protest, to push him away and recollect yourself, but his touch felt so good to you. It felt like he knew every knot and sore muscle in your body and just how to hit it right. Your shoulders relaxed. “Y/N L/N.” You answered him, your voice was surprisingly collected for someone who felt anything but that. 

“Y/N…” He said your name on his lips. His deep and warm voice was like molten chocolate to your ears. Like fine sweet rum that burns just right after a long day. He smiled, showing off his sharp teeth. “I like it.” He nods his head satisfied with your answer. He placed his big hand over his heart. He nodded his head to you. “Eijiro Kirishima.” 

Eijiro Kirishima.

The name of your soulmate. 

Kirishima turned to the man that had initially caught you. They spoke in a language you did not know but you had heard the silver man use. You then noticed how similar they looked. You wondered if they were related or not. It would make sense, especially knowing that the silver haired one had a level of power but not as much as Kirishima. Kiri looked back down at you. “Small.” He commented. 

This made the other Oni warriors around him laugh. The air between them was relaxed like friends who knew each other for years. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment. You didn’t like how they seemed so amused by your height. You were not small, not in the slightest. You were of average height for a human woman but yet, here you were being poked fun at by Oni. You folded your arms and frowned. “I’m tall for my species.” You defended yourself. You pointed to yourself. “Tall.” 

Kiri and the other Oni laughed at your words. They found you amusing and adorable. Kiri tapped your nose with his finger. You frowned. Without thinking you attempted to playfully bite his finger but he was too fast for you to do so. This caused him to release a huge burst of laughter from him. You couldn’t help but stare at his laugh. It was full and rich and filled with joy and amusement that you caused. “Feisty.” He leaned down closer to your face making you lean a slight bit back. He seemed to be assessing you. He scoffed. “I like you.” He nodded his head. Before you could even object or say anything, he stood up with you in his arms. He carried you bridal style so that your body was easily supported in his arms. “Tetsu.” He said to the silver haired man who turned to look at him. He spoke to him once again in the tongue you had no clue of understanding. The both of them nodded before Kirishima turned around and walked away from where everyone else was. He walked through the streets of the village tall like he owned everything. The both of you passed other Oni that bowed their heads to him. 

“Uh… Kirishima…” You started. He stopped walking and looked down at you. He smiled brightly at the fact that you had said his name for the first time. “Where are you headed to?” He didn’t answer you as he tilted his head to the side in confusion. He looked like a lost puppy. You thought a bit more of how you could ask him. “Where… place… you take me?” You asked as you pointed to yourself.

“Horse.” He answered simply as he kept on walking. You both exited the village gates. You raised an eyebrow. It seemed travelling by oni was way faster than travelling on foot. 

You nodded your head at his answer. “Okay… but where horse take us?” 

He surveyed the area as the both of you walked, as if monitoring your surroundings for anything to come up and snatch you away from him. “Home.” 

Right. Your soulmate was taking you home. Something told you that it wasn’t where you thought home was. 

-Glitch1d

{Kirishima Masterlist}

Hey yall this is a finished fic on AO3 with three more chapters (4 in total then) of Kirishima x reader and then an optional 2 additional chapters with Kitsune Bakugou added to the mix.

You can find the rest on AO3:

kinktober : oct 20th

könig x getting caught

könig was shameless.

he had you stood up, arched in an uncomfortable yet perfectly demeaning way as he stands behind you, knees bent slightly — practically using you like a toy. you were naked, whilst only his tight khakis were thrust down to mid thigh. you whine, the sound of his pelvis slapping against your ass filling the room.

“thats it, thaaats it.” he growls, one hand coming up to hold you by the throat to give him a better grip on you. “scheiße, my girl. just mine.”

“m’yours!” you try to appease to him, but you’re met with a gentle grip of the jaw, not even turning you to face him, just a show of dominance.

“quiet. if i want a comment from you, i’ll request it.” he pants and you whimper sadly, clenching hard around his obscenely thick length at his mean tone. he goes to say something else, but the door swings open.

some rookie, fresh faced and loudly proclaiming your man’s name as if he’d been searching for him. poor kid, he’ll learn to knock. you gasp, a devastated whine leaving you — and to your surprise könig doesn’t stop, infact he barely acknowledges his presence, only glancing his way as he continues thrusting, leaning back slightly to focus on the way your ass recoils against him. you swear you hear him scoff out a practically inaudible chuckle.

“close the door.” he commands quietly and calmly and the rookie is spinning around, red faced and silent — probably too afraid to reveal to his peers what he just saw. “tsk, silly girl.” he blames you. you cry out in humiliation, a devastating and whiney noise as you try to cover your teary eyes with your hands, and suddenly he’s a lot nicer to you.

he adjusts his stance, spreading his legs wider, feet caging yours as he wraps his arms around your waist, pressing sloppy and affectionate kisses to your jaw, neck and cheek. “did this embarrass you, liebling?” he asks, tone quieter and more sympathetic.

“he s-saw me!” you wail and he’s shushing you, humungous hand rubbing your stomach in a soothing circle before sliding down to rub against your clit. his thrusts are slower now, hips rolling and tummy tensed at the angle he stands at. you collapse against him a little with an eased moan, he hums.

“need to be quiet then, don’t you?” he chastises, but his tone is still gentle. “why don’t you cum for the colonel, hm? make it worth something.”

bad girls do it the best

james potter x female!reader

warning: mentions of smut.

summary: everyone secretly likes a bad girl, even the golden boy.

a/n: i wrote this in a hurry without proofreading so yay! I'm sorry if this is cringe, i just thought of it.

James hurried through to detention; he was five minutes late. He had forgotten that he had gotten in trouble for setting off a firework in the middle of OWL'S.

It wasn't even his fault; somehow, the firework ended up in the classroom; it's not like he placed it.

Of course, that was a lie, but he was the only one who got in trouble, not Sirius or Peter. Remus didn't have any part in it because he takes his studies "seriously," It still wasn't fair.

He entered the classroom immediately; there was only him and a group of Slytherin girls, you included. He hated to admit it, but you scared him.

It's not like you were violent.

Well, that was untrue.

You had beaten a girl in your house for sleeping with your ex-boyfriend. It was one of the most notorious things James had seen throughout his years.

James remembered envying the ex-boyfriend because you were one of the hottest girls in his year, and you knew it. Even with the way you sat in front of him, ass on the desk with your legs crossed and a smirk on your face.

You might've been "bad," but you still got good grades and were one the best witches in your year. You never made fun of good people and only made fun of people who did it to others.

You only disrespected a professor if they disrespected you first.

And you never believed in blood supremacy or house, and your family was well known for not being with the Dark Lord.

So why couldn't James talk to you?

"What's up with the stare, Potter?" One of your friends had said, James almost shitting his pants.

"There is n-no stare," James stuttered, causing the girls to laugh.

"Do you have a fucking problem?" Another girl asked, "You think you're allowed to stare at Y/n?" She threatened, cracking her knuckles.

James had never had a girl scare him so bad. He had never wished for a teacher to appear so fast.

You waved your hand to your friend to stop her actions, "Aw, don't scare the puppy," You snickered. Your friend immediately sat back down.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" You asked, teeth flashing in your smile.

"I got in trouble for lighting a firework in the middle of OWL's," He swallowed, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

Was it hot in here, or was he just nervous?

You tsked, "What a bad boy," You said, causing all of your friends to laugh as James did an awkward one.

"Wanna know what I did?" You asked him as he hesitated.

You raised your eyebrow as he nodded eagerly, "Y-Yes, I wanna know,"

"Well," You stood, "I got caught giving the most mindblowing blowjob to Professor Binns," You walked closer to him as he gulped. You smirked, "I'm just joking; I got caught sneaking out of the castle,"

He exhaled as your face was extremely close to his, "Did that make you nervous, Potter?" You asked, pouting.

The rest of your friends laughed as James looked like a deer in headlights.

Suddenly, you put your hand inside his pocket as he moaned surprisingly, causing snickers from your friends. You pulled out a lollipop that James had gotten from the nurse earlier.

Pulling the sucker into your mouth, it was cherry flavored.

Professor McGonagall came in at the sight of this with a sigh, "Ms. L/n, please take a seat,"

You smiled, sitting down with the sucker in your mouth as James sat down, hiding his bulge.

"As all of you know, this is your punishment and NOT a day at the Quidditch field," McGonagall looked at James, "Nor a day at Three Broomsticks," She looked at you as you blew her a kiss, "You may read or write, but I want absolutely no talking." She instructed.

"Yes, Professor McGonagall," Your entire friend group said in perfect unison.

McGonagall gave one stern look to your group before sighing and sitting in her chair.

James tried to not look at you but couldn't help himself. You were something he never even thought would look at him. It wasn't only confidence but your whole entire being.

Suddenly, you tilted your head to the right, and James heard the loud telephone beside McGonagall ring, causing her to put down her book.

You smirked toward your friend before McGonagall spoke, "I have to take care of something; all of you are to be on your best behavior until I come back!" She demanded, giving a stern look to all of you.

She rushed out of the room as your friends got up to guard the door.

"Thirty minutes," You said to your friend as she nodded, going outside the door.

"W-What's going on?" James asked as you approached him.

"I've always wanted to fuck the golden boy, you know that?" You said as James's face turned tomato red.

"What?" He asked, gripping his seat.

"Don't play dumb, Potter," You smiled, getting on your knees in front of his chair, "Ever since I saw you, I always wanted to taste good in you,"

He couldn't believe this was happening.

"But-" He hesitated.

You frowned, "You don't wanna fuck me?" You asked, "Do you think I'm ugly?" You played with him.

"No, no!" He almost yelled, "You're fucking gorgeous, but I don't know if this is a good idea."

"Haven't you ever just wanted to taste something bad?" You asked, palming his bulge as he closed his eyes and groaned, "I promise it tastes so good,"

He wanted you more than he ever wanted anything in his entire life.

He ran his hands through the sides of your hair, kissing you passionately as you returned it eagerly, removing his belt.

"Tell me what you want," You moaned.

"I wanna see your tits," He whispered in your neck, sucking bruises on it as you pulled your shirt over your head, your tits bouncing out.

He squeezes your boobs immediately, leaning down to suck on the bud of your nipples. You moaned, pulling down his pants with his boxers.

He was bigger than any guy you had seen in growth and length; you had no idea how he would fit inside you.

You pushed him back from your boobs, the harsh air on your nipples causing them to rise.

You sucked the tip of his cock, him groaning as you swirled your tongue around his tip, looking him in the eyes.

You could feel the wetness in your panties just by looking at his pleasure which gave you pleasure.

You took him in entirely, gagging on him as you grabbed your hair in a ponytail from getting in your mouth. You started going faster as James was finding it hard to control himself, about to come in your mouth.

"I'm gonna- fuck," James warned before cumming in your mouth as you swallowed it like a champ.

He had gotten hard again that very second.

You smirked, swallowing the rest, "Open your mouth," James said as you obeyed, sticking your tongue out as he spit in your mouth as you swallowed it.

"You wanna fuck me?" You grinned, standing up.

James couldn't believe you were real, "I wanna taste you," He said as if in a trance.

You giggled, "We don't have enough time,"

"I don't care," He grunted, kissing you deeply as he laid your back on the desk and ground into you.

He ripped off your panties as you gasped into his mouth before he laid kisses down your breasts to your cunt, feasting.

You moaned loudly as he sucked on your clit, causing you to almost scream.

He shoved his tongue inside you, making you put your hand on your mouth as he looked up at you.

He lifted off your cunt, "Don't cover your mouth; I wanna hear you slut," He demanded

You had no idea James Potter was capable of having a dirty mouth.

You did as he said, trying to control your sounds to not let anyone hear. He was attacking your cunt like no one had ever done, girl or boy.

He genuinely enjoyed this as he stroked himself while eating you out.

Once he saw you were close, he put a finger inside you, causing you to go overstimulated.

You came there, and then as your release was all over his mouth. He rose off your cunt, kissing you on the mouth, "Taste yourself," He breathly said, putting his finger in your mouth.

You sucked on his finger, doing as he asked. He gave you one last kiss before you both heard two knocks on the door.

That was the signal that McGonagall was coming.

You and he put your clothes on quickly as you moved back to your side, sitting down before your friends and McGonagall entered the classroom.

You could hear McGonagall berating your friends for being outside before she rushed in and looked at you and James.

You both tried your best to be completely normal, and it was fooling McGonagall.

"Glad to know at least two students followed my tasks!" She said as all your friends sat down, and you smiled at James.

An hour passed before McGonagall let you all go as you slipped in a note in James's pocket with a kiss on his cheek.

Meet me in my dorm after Potions tomorrow.

And James had never felt so lucky in his entire life.

Sorry for inbox spamming, I can stop if you want but I'm thinkin about giant Katsuki who lives at the top of a bean stock LMAO and everyone is so scared of him cause of his big booming voice and such, but really he's just lonely and bored :((

Cue brave reader climbing that shit and looking him dead in the eyes, not cowering in fear or anything, and Bakugou takes you inside, stuffs your tummy full of good giant food, and then stuffs your pretty human cunt full with his cum, shaking his castle with the power of his thrusts. You're so loud the village can probably hear you, but you don't care cause the dick is so good, and he's just groaning and growling in ur ear about how hes gonna give you hybrid brats, and your own golden goose <3

Nn-no wAIT IF HE A GIANT HOW WILL THAT DICK FIT YOULL DIE

But yes to everything🥺 him being amused by this tiny🤏🏻 human huffin n puffin at him so bravely after climbing the bean stock, claiming he doesn’t scare you. But then you flush in embarrassment when your stomach churns loudly, has him chuckling because you probably wore yourself out clinging.

Makes you food, all of it a big feast in comparison to normal sized food and Giant Bakugou watches you eat, grumbles at you to eat slower before you choke. He doesn’t remember talking this much with anyone, his big and empty castle a lot livelier with you around.

And again, you’re adorable, ass fitting on one big palm as you sat on his hand, leveled with his face so he can hear you defend yourself when he teased you about climbing to his castle to steal his golden goose.

“That’s not true! I just wanted to see what you look like!”

“And?” He raises a brow. “Am i the big and scary fuck you little shitty village keeps talking about?”

“No… y-you’re really handsome.”

The new talk of the village is the moans coming out of the giant’s castle, body twitching as you creamed all over the bulbous cock head stretching you too far to even describe, Bakugou’s teeth sunken on his bottom lip with a low hum at your tightness, starting to bounce you on his fat cock.

With an answer like that he has to keep you around, give you your own golden goose and maybe some kids to keep you around longer.

hii! I've been on a James brainriot for the past week and I can't stop thinking about him winning you one of those big animal plushies at fairs and being so proud about it (carrying it for you too if you want 👀 cause he's strong and he wants to show off as if it's heavy) and so this is me asking for a blurb/fic (whichever is fine) with this scenario! Thank you either way!!:)

"That won't fit," The fair employee looks rather unimpressed with the giant sloth that James is lugging around over his shoulder, and you peer warily at the ferris wheel cars.

"Sure it will," James gushes, cheery even in the face of the man's disdain, "C'mon, love, let's squish in there."

"James-" You start, because you're not sure that you should be disagreeing with the safety checker of the ride. But James has already shouldered his way through the slimly open doors of the compartment, and he's set the sloth on the circular bench beside him.

"I'm sorry," You smile guiltily at the ride operator, who looks like he might rather be in the seventh circle of hell than here, and you rush into the compartment to get away from his disapproving glare.

"Next time let's win the giant stuffed animal right before we leave," You plead sweetly, "Okay, Jamie?"

"I think it's fine," He stares at the way you're squished up against the sloth's neon purple fur, the fuzz tickling your face and sticking to your clothes, "I mean, you're not too smushed, are you, love? C'mere."

He scoots himself closer towards the sloth, creating more room for you to slide yourself over. Unfortunately, you'd been compressing the stuffing of the plushie quite a lot by pressing into its side, and it expands to fill all of the space you'd given it.

It means you're now sandwiched between James and a giant sloth, and with an awful-sounding creak, the ride begins to spin, raising you into the air.

"Uh-" You mumble, your cheek pressed against James's, "Are you- is that your foot?"

"'Think so," He murmurs, moving the toe of his shoe out from beneath your heel, "And- your hand?"

"Sorry," You tug it out from where it had been pressing uncomfortably into his hip bone, watching as the sloth merely smiles blankly at you with beaded eyes.

"I think that guy was right," James concludes, and when you turn to look at him while he speaks, your nose bumps right into his own. He smiles, then laughs, then doesn't stop doing either, and you get pulled into his fit of giggles as you finally reach the top of the ferris wheel.

"I'm sorry I crammed us in here with a giant sloth," He apologizes, and when he kisses your cheek, he doesn't have to move his head at all. He simply puckers his lips, and they hit your flushed cheek.

"It's okay. He's a great sloth," You reach out to stroke the purple fur on its shoulder, "Thanks for winning him for me, Jamie."

"Anytime, darling." He vows, dropping another kiss to your skin before he reconsiders: "Or- actually, this'll probably be the last time. Don't know how we're gonna get that thing through the door, much less make room for another one."