I Don't Go Here But I'm Calling It Now That Joe Locke's Character Can't Say His Name Is Because Names

I don't go here but I'm calling it now that Joe Locke's character can't say his name is because names have power especially if you're the demiurge, and the moment he does Wanda across the universes will hear it and use it like a homing beacon

just finished reading on the road to freedom and Bucky and Peter having a marriage of convenience after Far From Home so that Peter is granted diplomatic immunity through being married-in Wakandan royalty is hands down the greatest and funniest concept I've ever seen. Even in a strictly platonic sense that shit is hysterical

imagine the running jokes, the half assed threats to divorce each other for anything from siding with Sam over them, disagreeing on missions or liking pineapple on pizza, confusing the fuck out of people casually introducing each other like "this is my husband Peter/Bucky", getting asked why they haven't divorced yet since Peter's long since been proven innocent (because fuck the spell) and the best they manage is a shrug and say they "couldn't be bothered", "don't you have anyone else you'd rather marry? Girlfriends?" another shrug, or why didn't Peter just get adopted too why did it have to be marriage and he goes on a tangent because fuck you he has May he's not comfortable being someone else's adopted child

In a PeterMJ context, MJ finds it hilarious, you cannot tell me she wouldn't be down for screwing over the terrible justice system and fucking with heteronormative marriage norms. She'd be proudly introducing them as "my boyfriend Peter and his husband Bucky" in the most purposefully deadpan voice, or outright claiming them both as her husbands in every way except the shackles of the legal system or saying they're her harem, a package deal, marry one get one free... She and Bucky reply "it was funny" at the same time in the exact same blank tone of voice whenever anyone asks why Peter and Bucky stayed married or ask why is she okay with it

(since Bucky is canonically the MCU's White Wolf, who in the comics is T'Challa and Shuri's adopted brother, in the fic it's explained that being adopted into the royal family is what got Bucky let off with only mandatory therapy as part of his deal and it's genius)

Karli, completely forgetting who she's talking to: I'm fighting for something bigger than myself, and with all the bodies you've collected have you ever been able to say the same?

Bucky Barnes, orphaned eldest child becomes parent to the younger siblings syndrome man who grew up protecting a weaker kid against bullies, WW2 veteran that ended up experimented on in a Nazi POW camp to be unwillingly turned into what she signed up for, then continued to fight until he "died" even though he didn't have to anymore, fought in the battles against Thanos and has spent the last month fighting anyone who breathes wrong to get Sam acknowledged as Captain America: have I ever what?

I feel like if the actors read the script and think it's a joke then the writers in charge of the storyline in question should be contractually obligated to rethink that shit

Bucky has to be under some kind of blackmail from Val or whoever because there's no way you can look me in the eye and say honestly that Bucky would choose to work for the government that screwed over Sam (and Steve's wishes along the way), and did to Isaiah and his troop what Hydra did to him by experimenting on them; dehumanizing them, unknowingly and unwillingly turning them into super powered weapons of war, then punished and imprisoned Isaiah for doing the same shit they made Steve a hero for.

Bucky is one universe-hopping visit from Hobie away from becoming a punk rock anarchist, come on now.

Soulmate + His Dark Materials fusion AU where your dæmon isn't a reflection of your soul but that of your soulmate

Bucky Barnes' dæmon never settles, nice people call him a late bloomer while other people aren't so nice and call him far worse, but Steve never minded and the Howling Commandos soon learned to shut their traps so he got by just fine. Hydra value their Asset whose dæmon can shift around well into adulthood until one day they thaw him out and his dæmon appears to be gone. No matter, they move on. It's not until Bucky's granted asylum in Wakanda that he feels comfortable letting anyone know that his dæmon finally settled: she's an adorable, tiny Jumping Spider, so small that she'd been able to hide from Hydra in his clothes, his hair or even in the inner mechanisms of his arm where she spends his missions so she's safe and can't be crushed.

Peter Parker's dæmon settles unusually early on the other hand, before he's even hit double digits, as an adorable wolf cub that by the time he becomes Spider-Man has grown into an enormous and intimidating Grey Wolf, almost completely white in her pelt and fiercely protective. She's quiet compared to his chattiness, and as a side effect of either the spider bite or possibly Mary Parker having secrets of her own, Peter and his dæmon can be miles apart comfortably.

No one makes the connection for years. Years! Not until Shuri finds out one of the spiders Peter is mixed with was a Jumping Spider, known as the smartest spider in the world, and happens to look up and see a text from the White Wolf. What does she do with this information? Who knows but she's very pleased to have figured out yet another thing no one else has yet.