Will I Ever Be Happy Again?

Will I ever be happy again?

You have always been one of the strong people, grew up in good circumstances and yet a weakness has developed year after year. You don't know why, you thought it would pass and it was just a phase. Year after year, day after day and hour by hour. You are happy but somehow you feel an emptiness in you. You have a good job and a good life, can travel and should be happy. But you are alone. And then someone comes who catches you, you feel really safe for the first time and are satisfied with your life and then the person with whom everything felt right disappears from your life and you are at the end. You always break together when you are alone and no one notices it. You are alone.

I don't know what you took from me when you disappeared from my life for no reason.

Since then, I feel an emptiness in me that gets bigger with every day and every breath.

When there was a We, you made me complete, I have never felt so strong and happy. And now I only consist of a pile full of rubble and ash that can no longer be repaired..

I don‘t know what went wrong with me a few years ago. But since then I feel a neverending emptiness in my heart.

After surviving year for year and beeing on the right way to focus on myself and get a litte bit happier and confidence with the emptiness, you came into my life.

You fixed all in me which was broken in the past and you had teared down the walls I had built up to protect myself. It was okay for me, you have showed me how beautiful the life can be with someone who is loving you.

But after I found myself again, you left without a reason. You forgot about me and immediately looked for someone new.

You left an even bigger emptiness inside me that can never be filled again. You made me more broken than I could ever have imagined.

But I have no choice, I have to move on and I am afraid I‘ll never be happy again.

And then they will leave you ..

“How do you know someone is for you? They bring peace you haven’t found anywhere else. They support your effort. They water your growth.”

— Unknown

I'm not sure if l've ever loved in my life.

I only know that I was completely satisfied with you for the first time and I felt safe. Near you, I wasn't afraid of the future because I knew I had you by my side forever. It has never been so calm in my head.

And now you're gone and I'm learning to fear again. The fear of never being happy again and having to face the horror of this world alone.