Staring At The "I Think It's Best If We Stop Talking" Text I Sent As I'm Crying My Eyes Out Knowing Damn

staring at the "I think it's best if we stop talking" text I sent as I'm crying my eyes out knowing damn well I don't wanna live without him but it's for the best..

I'm not sure if l've ever loved in my life.

I only know that I was completely satisfied with you for the first time and I felt safe. Near you, I wasn't afraid of the future because I knew I had you by my side forever. It has never been so calm in my head.

And now you're gone and I'm learning to fear again. The fear of never being happy again and having to face the horror of this world alone.

You healed me, you showed me how beautiful this cruel world can be. You made me wake up every day with a smile and a warmth I had never felt before.

And then you let me fall, because of you every day what little is left in me dies.

I just feel empty, hurt and lonely.

Every breath is agony and tears me apart piece by piece.

I wish every day that you would come back to me. Even though I know that will never happen.

And even if you did, I would look you in the eye and feel the loneliness and the pain you have caused me.

And even though you took everything in my life, I still love you for all my life. 💔

Whenever you reach for me, I will do everything I can to further distance myself from you.

I don't know what you took from me when you disappeared from my life for no reason.

Since then, I feel an emptiness in me that gets bigger with every day and every breath.

When there was a We, you made me complete, I have never felt so strong and happy. And now I only consist of a pile full of rubble and ash that can no longer be repaired..

You have always been one of the strong people, grew up in good circumstances and yet a weakness has developed year after year. You don't know why, you thought it would pass and it was just a phase. Year after year, day after day and hour by hour. You are happy but somehow you feel an emptiness in you. You have a good job and a good life, can travel and should be happy. But you are alone. And then someone comes who catches you, you feel really safe for the first time and are satisfied with your life and then the person with whom everything felt right disappears from your life and you are at the end. You always break together when you are alone and no one notices it. You are alone.