Cw // Meltdown , Sh

cw // meltdown , sh

this post just reminded me that i had a rly bad public meltdown. a friend was w me and tried to help me calm down, but all i could do was cry and hit myself (and i don’t hit soft when i’m in that state). it was rly scary bc usually they happen once i am in a more private place, but this time i was just out in the open

and the worst part in my opinion was that i had nothing to help me get through it safely

i did really appreciate having a friend nearby though, i didn’t at the time because i was scared, frustrated and embarrassed, but looking back i feel like it would’ve been a lot worse without them

a meltdown a day keeps the ableists away /s

i hate that ur in my space , get the fuck out. i’ll lose my shit any second now.. i can’t be in this room any longer ohmg

my honesty made me look like an asshole. again.

beanie baby stimboard for anon

❤ credits ❤

i once again had my tone of voice cause me to be mistaken as being rude ,, yay

i hate feeling like i’m self-dxing bc of the stigma around it, but i’m just gonna say something really quick before i forget. i think pop tarts were my same food when i was younger, i always remember eating those and having them in the house. i remember my cousin was over once and she ate my last one, which i was saving for myself if i needed it. i just remember absolutely freaking out and i went crying to my dad about it, but he punished me (harshly) for having a borderline meltdown. and i think that started leading me to repressing my needs and increased my likelihood for burnout

idk,, seeing that experience through an autistic perspective makes my extreme reaction make a little more sense i think :( but i have no idea