College Came, I Lost Track Of What I Believed Was Important. I Continued To Lose Touch With Who I Truly

College came, I lost track of what I believed was important. I continued to lose touch with who I truly am, trying to find the answer to the question of "Who am I?" Clearly, I did not reflect on myself quite right. I shouldn't have asked myself that question, when the answer was right in front of me. WHO I WAS THEN is WHO I AM. It was a mistake, focusing on my journey to finding myself when all those years, I am already being ME. I realized I hated myself for the wrong reasons.

I realize that lately, I am afraid of doing the things I used to do. I have become a person who is easily intimidated. I became afraid of speaking my mind, in fear that someone will deem my words unnecessary. I have stopped myself from letting my pen bleed, criticizing myself every time I start scribbling notes on my notepad. At first, I thought I was just tired, but I realized, I never got tired of writing. I just grew afraid of it. Looking back at the words I scribbled behind my journal saying, "I write and so I breathe," I realized that I have become doubtful of myself. And now I will stay true to myself. I am starting by admitting that I am surrounded by the people who does nothing but drag me down by their unwillingness to listen. People who make me feel small by acting upon their superiority complex. I knew my ideas were great, but why have I became silent? And now, I came to a point of another realization, I cannot hold on to people who intimidate me into hating my own craft. I cannot be with people who manages to pull a big stunt of making a fool out of me. I can no longer be silent.

This happened when I entered a university last August. I miss high school days🥲

Friendships as a teenager: we used to talk 5 hours every night now it’s down to 3… are we still friends 🤔? I wonder if they don’t like me anymore

Friendships as an adult: omg I’ve finally cleared up 20 minutes of my schedule to talk to my friend I haven’t spoken to in 4 months #bffs #we will find eachother in every life

One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.

I did not expect it to end that way. Huhu horrible way of stalking a socmed account.