@vividly-creative

@vividly-creative

I read you and I feel you *hugs*

I've had similar thoughts about all the stories I've created (I'm having them right now for my 18-month old wip and the one I started... 3 days ago), a feeling that getting to the end is going to be so worthwhile because what I have in mind is so amazing, and at the same time so daunting that it actually stops me in my tracks, because what if I ruin this beautiful thing I have in my mind? What if it never reaches my expectations, and above all others'? And this is the one moment when the poisonous temptation to compare our work to others' pulls out its claws and drooling fangs.

From one thought to another, one day, I eventually considered things from a different point of view and came to a certain conclusion that I'd like to share with you. Maybe it'll ring something inside you, or maybe not.

Recently I've said in a post that I was a planner, and I am. This is the only way for me to beat this whimsical habit of mine: procrastination. I'd procrastinate for almost everything, and while I wouldn't mind postponing work-related stuff, it'd suck more to see myself postpone hobbies that are supposed to make me feel good. Writing falls into that category. Except that procrastination is not just postponing (and it certainly isn't idleness, we know that) Procrastination is also when you decide to do/create/start/continue/review another task instead of the one you "were supposed to do" (please, note the quotation marks), for reasons ranging from subjective importance to objective inclination.

It's not a flaw, it's not even a bad habit, but it certainly is exhausting in the long run.

But procrastination tells us something about us, creators.

Procrastinating is dreading the moment when the project, our project, will reach its term. When we'll have to part from it, when this project will live on with a life of its own, where it's meant to be, exposed to other people's scrutiny and comprehension. When it's no longer ours, and we have no control over it anymore. And yet, our parenthood over this piece of work is intact. We've been its source of life, its legal guardian.

We're responsible for its existence, as well towards its outcome, by making sure it's prepared for what's to come, autonomous, viable, acceptable, defendable. Perfect.

The fear of separation and the quest for perfection go hand in hand with procrastination.

Setting up a deadline, a date, a goal to finish a wip is like scheduling this separation and the grief that'll come with it, because it feels like a part of us will leave too, and there'll be nothing we can do about it. So, we hope it'll go in the best of ways, with flying colours. When the moment comes, we hope we'll be up to it, that the void that'll come after will be tolerable (but if we have other wips on the backburner, it'll hurt less, won't it?)

So, yeah, this is how I feel when I write my stories. I love to see them grow, develop, gain confidence. I'm always eager to write them down, to read the words and sentences flow and discover what I wanted to write (honestly sometimes I don't even know what I write...) And I'm so looking forward to knowing the end (LOL!!) while dreading that moment when I'll have to say goodbye.

Nobody likes to say goodbye to something/someone we love. I said goodbye too many times, without knowing that things were actually over, without making sure that I was happy with the way things were between them and me, that this part of me could go without any reason for future concern or regret.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your wips might go when you finish them, but you can be sure they'll meet amazing people (readers, publishers, you name it) and make them happy. Don't be afraid to finish them and let them go (at your own pace).

Your creativity will never let you down. Take care 🤗

Doubting Myself

Lately I’ve been creating a lot of stuff, back to back.

I’ve been writing a lot and bringing characters to life. I’ve been working so much on my novel, my word count is getting up, my word document is getting longer and I’ve been receiving positive feedback from my friends.

Still, I feel likeI’m barely making any progress.

I have brought so many ideas to life  and I’m proud of myself and of what I created… but  it feels like it doesn’t mean anything.

My portfolio could and should have much more work in it. It feels like I’m behind and I always will be.

No matter how much I create, I constantly feel like I could’ve made more and I need to make more.

I want to have this inhumane amount of art made within a couple of hours. 

The moment I start writing a scene I’m picturing how I want it to sound at the end and I start asking myself if I’ll be able to even finish it. The second I start a new sketch I begin ruminating how it should look and I want to skip the process to finally see the end result.

I have to keep reminding myself that a successful piece of art is the one that makes you proud and allows you to grow as an artist; but that does not mean it will always be satisfying and I get that.

I love to create.

I want to create.

I chose to create.

But it’s hard to enjoy the process sometimes, when you keep telling yourself “This is the time I will finish this novel.“

“This is the piece that I will finally send to publishers.” 

“This is the work that I will have hundreds of rejection slips and just that one approved, because it only takes one publisher to say yes.” 

“Today I’ll make the photograph that gets into a calendar.”

“This is the art project that will make people take me seriously.”

“This is the one that will make me an artist.”

It ’s exhausting.

@the-wip-project Day 15

Does your WIP have fairytales? Do your characters tell mythical stories to each other?

Yes, they do! And since my stories all take place in Asia, I've had a lot of fun digging out some interesting ones for lovely scenes. Here's an extract from one of the earlier chapters of WIP1:

“They’re well known folk-tales, which my eomeoni and halmeoni used to tell me when I was very young, back in Wonsan.” Hence why she thought about him when she found the book, Junghee believes: the idea that his mother is thinking about him fills him with some sweet nostalgia again and brings about the familiar lump that has kept him company here at the back of his throat. He’s so grateful she asked this book to be delivered to him; so grateful Jimin is the one who brought it to him.

“Let’s read some!” Jimin cheers, standing up. “Where’s that lamp you had?” Junghee hears him shuffle over the floor in the dark, blindly feeling along until he hears the scrape of metal. “Ah, here it is.” He winds it up, illuminating his face from underneath, as awake and lively as ever, before he takes his place back on the bed, by Junghee’s side this time, and directs the light towards the book. “So, pick one,” he adds. “Not too long though. And a happy one. Oh, and funny too.”

“Aish, hyung. Folk tales are not always funny. They’re meant to convey messages, lessons of tolerance, generosity, love and hope. This one, for instance, ‘The Two Brothers Who Threw Away Their Lumps of Gold.”

“You’ll have to tell me where the hope is here. The title alone is stupid. Pick another one.”

“But these two brothers love each other!”

“Doesn’t erase the fact they’re stupid…”

“Okay… so, ‘The Beggar Brothers’ —”

“No please, not poor people! I’ve had my share of poverty.”

Junghee pinches his lips to stifle a snicker, and flips more pages: “How about ‘The Net Bag for Catching a Tiger’? About how a man became rich.”

“Brilliant!”

They settle against the wall, bodies pressed close against one another across the narrow width of the bed, legs extended in front of them.

“Once upon a time, there was a poor young bachelor. [why are they always poor?] Because he was really poor, he went to the mountains to find something to eat, [sounds familiar…] but then it became nighttime. He found a house while wandering around and asked the old man who was the owner of the house, if he could sleep there for one night. The old man told the bachelor to come in. The old man was making a net bag with straw. The bachelor asked, ‘why are you making a net bag?’ The old man answered, ‘if a poor person goes into the net, that person will get a lot of money.’ [sounds fishy already] The bachelor was very interested, and asked, ‘May I get into the bag?’[what?] The old man answered, ‘Of course’. He got into the bag, which had been finished. Then the old man suddenly tied up the mouth of the net bag [I honestly saw that coming] tightly and hung it on a big branch in the mountain. The man screamed because he was scared. [Gosh, is he gonna lure the tiger with that poor bugger?]”

Junghee stops his reading, thinking, then yawns loudly.

“So? What happens next? Where's the tiger?”

“Hyung, aren’t you tired? I’m exhausted,” he whines, standing up to get to the bed where the blankets are. He climbs onto it and spreads the two blankets over him.

“Sun Junghee! What happens next? How does it end?” Jimin threatens, hurrying to his side with the lamp and poking him in the ribs.

@the-wip-project Days 16 to 19 (Gosh, I'm so so late 😥)

Do you have prophecies and superstitions as part of the worldbuilding in your WIP? Could you add some?

In WIP2, the A/B/O fic, there's this trope about the bond mates create when they claim each other (which is one of my favourite parts of the ABO universe to be honest) that I decided to use as a prerequisite superstition from the point of view of one of the secondary characters; a secondary character who'll only appear at the beginning and vanish shortly after, but whose impact on the protagonist will be powerful enough to ingrain this belief quite deep.

Only to be debunked later by the other main character 😊

Think about an interview question for your main character/s and then write down what they don’t say. What secrets do they keep? What do they lie about?

Right, so I've decided to present this as an interview between my protagonist and his psyche:

Protagonist: Alphas are a plague. They suck, stink and can go to Hell. I don't need one in my life. I can totally live without them. I'm independent and strong and in love with myself. Who needs alphas anyway?

Superego: Right, I understand where you come from. Your reaction is logical and the emotional charge of your thoughts is legitimate. I'm sure though that, when you calm down, you'll be able to see things in a more composed and lucid way, and consider your words as a bit extreme.

Ego: SHUT UP! I.GOT. HURT! NOT THEM, I! So yeah, alphas are the scum of the earth. Just watch me live my life like I don't care, and learn!

Id: lol.

What ideas came to you recently from daydreaming?

Too many. Like....

I've trying to figure out how a toddler speaks in English and how adults would react. I've also been thinking about future scenes, which should normally happen a few chapters later, and I'm always debating with myself whether I should write them down while they're vivid in my mind or focus on where I'm at, now. I've also made some research on Hawaii for my other wip, so my head is also full of palm trees, paradise beaches, luxuriant vegetation in the volcanic outback (very pleasant part of the daydreaming here) and the serious talk that must take place in such an idyllic environment (pretty ironic)

How do you decide which WIP to work on?

I've been asking myself this question since I started the second wip *scratches head* (my writing involves as much daydreaming as head-scratching, I'm realizing) and I've come to the idea to write a bit of both at the same time. And it's quite satisfying, since I have the feeling of overlooking neither, even if I don't produce a lot. Besides, as they're very different, one really allows me to take a step back from the other and take the time to consider what I've just written (if it makes sense, what I forgot, didn't phrase accurately etc...).

Folklore & Fanlore

@the-wip-project Day 14

Do you have figures/creatures of folklore in your WIP? If not, can you think of something that would fit?

So, which WIP are we talking about here exactly? 😉WIP 1 or WIP 2?

WIP 1 has no figure of folklore in particular, but is ingrained in a specific country's recent history. The context is actually central to the plot so it required some research at understanding of traditions, mentalities, ways of living. It was never my intention to tackle this aspect as an expert (far from it) and it still isn't. However, I love learning new stuff and I hate half-assing tasks, even for leisure. So it was important, and fun, to me to get those details accurate whenever they needed to be.

WIP 2 doesn't hold any figures of folklore per se, but figures of fanlore more like. The Alpha/Beta/Omega trope offers a very intricate and fascinating universe, and whenever you thought you had read every possible variations of it, someone surprises you with more inventiveness (your humble servant yearns to that privilege).

Writing was a healing process when I started it. Now it is part of a learning process, where I give as much as I gain. It requires effort, time and dedication, but the nourishment I get in return is amazing. I grow as a person, just as my characters grow. Add to that kudos and comments, and I'm on cloud nine.

Paradise on Earth

@the-wip-project Day 27

Use at least five adjectives to describe the environment in your WIP.

So, basically in the newly out chapter, the place is peaceful, paradisiacal, luxuriant but also warm, homey and welcoming.

My character is gone to meet some long lost family for the first time in ... Hawaii, USA. The choice is not only for the pleasure of imagining it, nor in some anticipation for my future vacation (well....). There's a historical logic behind this location since my research taught me that after the Korean war, many people fled the peninsula to settle elsewhere. Canada and the USA were often first choices (Hawai, California, British Columbia in order to remain in the west). Hawaii having an important military base, it was relevant to imagine that one of my secondary characters would go and settle there after marrying an American GI, and build a family there.

@the-wip-project Day 30

Did your main characters change as you wrote them? Was that the plan or did they surprise you?

Oddly enough maybe, my wip's mains have changed little from I had planned over a year ago (yes, it's been ongoing for that long and it's getting near the 200k mark slowly but surely). The plot is all about growing and changing from experiences, meetings, explorations of one's past. So change has always been on the agenda, as far as the main characters are concerned. Some are meant to change more than others.

I can't say the same thing about my secondary characters though. There are quite a few secondary characters who play a crucial role in the plot, and although they will be affected by the main characters' own evolution, writing them gradually took a turn I didn't expect.

Let's talk about the main character's sister, for instance. She was supposed to be the one responsible for her brother's downfall, and my intention was to make it cruel. But as I wrote her over the months (and year), building up a strong and determined personality for her, along with a fragile soft side and carefree dreams, I really took a liking to her. I've grown to admire her resilience, her way to put up with tough circumstances (war, refugee camp, flight on deserted roads, deprivation of food) and keep a determined front, yet still nurturing dreams that a teen her age should totally be having. She's been doing everything in her limited power to afford a life as balanced and satisfying as the situation could allow. She's such a great character!

She's still flawed, as all my characters are. And her young age and broken heart are going to crush her for a moment, an irreversible moment, after which everything will be lost. It will no longer be her direct responsibility, contrary to what I had planned; she'll just confide in the wrong person. That moment of unexpected treason will trigger a series of fateful events that will smash everything to pieces.