@vividly-creative

@vividly-creative

I read you and I feel you *hugs*

I've had similar thoughts about all the stories I've created (I'm having them right now for my 18-month old wip and the one I started... 3 days ago), a feeling that getting to the end is going to be so worthwhile because what I have in mind is so amazing, and at the same time so daunting that it actually stops me in my tracks, because what if I ruin this beautiful thing I have in my mind? What if it never reaches my expectations, and above all others'? And this is the one moment when the poisonous temptation to compare our work to others' pulls out its claws and drooling fangs.

From one thought to another, one day, I eventually considered things from a different point of view and came to a certain conclusion that I'd like to share with you. Maybe it'll ring something inside you, or maybe not.

Recently I've said in a post that I was a planner, and I am. This is the only way for me to beat this whimsical habit of mine: procrastination. I'd procrastinate for almost everything, and while I wouldn't mind postponing work-related stuff, it'd suck more to see myself postpone hobbies that are supposed to make me feel good. Writing falls into that category. Except that procrastination is not just postponing (and it certainly isn't idleness, we know that) Procrastination is also when you decide to do/create/start/continue/review another task instead of the one you "were supposed to do" (please, note the quotation marks), for reasons ranging from subjective importance to objective inclination.

It's not a flaw, it's not even a bad habit, but it certainly is exhausting in the long run.

But procrastination tells us something about us, creators.

Procrastinating is dreading the moment when the project, our project, will reach its term. When we'll have to part from it, when this project will live on with a life of its own, where it's meant to be, exposed to other people's scrutiny and comprehension. When it's no longer ours, and we have no control over it anymore. And yet, our parenthood over this piece of work is intact. We've been its source of life, its legal guardian.

We're responsible for its existence, as well towards its outcome, by making sure it's prepared for what's to come, autonomous, viable, acceptable, defendable. Perfect.

The fear of separation and the quest for perfection go hand in hand with procrastination.

Setting up a deadline, a date, a goal to finish a wip is like scheduling this separation and the grief that'll come with it, because it feels like a part of us will leave too, and there'll be nothing we can do about it. So, we hope it'll go in the best of ways, with flying colours. When the moment comes, we hope we'll be up to it, that the void that'll come after will be tolerable (but if we have other wips on the backburner, it'll hurt less, won't it?)

So, yeah, this is how I feel when I write my stories. I love to see them grow, develop, gain confidence. I'm always eager to write them down, to read the words and sentences flow and discover what I wanted to write (honestly sometimes I don't even know what I write...) And I'm so looking forward to knowing the end (LOL!!) while dreading that moment when I'll have to say goodbye.

Nobody likes to say goodbye to something/someone we love. I said goodbye too many times, without knowing that things were actually over, without making sure that I was happy with the way things were between them and me, that this part of me could go without any reason for future concern or regret.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your wips might go when you finish them, but you can be sure they'll meet amazing people (readers, publishers, you name it) and make them happy. Don't be afraid to finish them and let them go (at your own pace).

Your creativity will never let you down. Take care 🤗

Doubting Myself

Lately I’ve been creating a lot of stuff, back to back.

I’ve been writing a lot and bringing characters to life. I’ve been working so much on my novel, my word count is getting up, my word document is getting longer and I’ve been receiving positive feedback from my friends.

Still, I feel likeI’m barely making any progress.

I have brought so many ideas to life  and I’m proud of myself and of what I created… but  it feels like it doesn’t mean anything.

My portfolio could and should have much more work in it. It feels like I’m behind and I always will be.

No matter how much I create, I constantly feel like I could’ve made more and I need to make more.

I want to have this inhumane amount of art made within a couple of hours. 

The moment I start writing a scene I’m picturing how I want it to sound at the end and I start asking myself if I’ll be able to even finish it. The second I start a new sketch I begin ruminating how it should look and I want to skip the process to finally see the end result.

I have to keep reminding myself that a successful piece of art is the one that makes you proud and allows you to grow as an artist; but that does not mean it will always be satisfying and I get that.

I love to create.

I want to create.

I chose to create.

But it’s hard to enjoy the process sometimes, when you keep telling yourself “This is the time I will finish this novel.“

“This is the piece that I will finally send to publishers.” 

“This is the work that I will have hundreds of rejection slips and just that one approved, because it only takes one publisher to say yes.” 

“Today I’ll make the photograph that gets into a calendar.”

“This is the art project that will make people take me seriously.”

“This is the one that will make me an artist.”

It ’s exhausting.

@the-wip-project Days 12 & 13

Prompt:

Unfortunately, things never go according to plan around here.

Indeed they don't.... I NEVER INTENDED TO WRITE THE FIRST CHAPTER OF A NEW WIP IN THREE DAYS!!! I'M SHOUTING BECAUSE I'M SUPER EXCITED!!!

Look at your characters, maybe even the one you created yesterday, and be honest. Do you have a type?

I've been scratching my head about this question. I don't know if I have a type of character. I certainly have a recurrent type of plot though lol.

What I could say is that my main characters are meant to complete each other one way or another and to meet half-way on their individual paths. My stories revolve a lot around building bridges, facing trauma, sweeping unpleasant truths from under the rug, starting personal inner journeys. So my characters are flawed from the start, aware or not of their own missing pieces and weaknesses (but soon to be) and I guess this is the type of personae I enjoy staging and following along the relative unknown of the plot, the encounters it brings about, self-discovery and retrieving some balance after their life being more or less disrupted.

I realise it may sound super heavy 😅, but it's not necessarily the case. It matches fluff as angst equally.

Day 25

@the-wip-project

Look who's back at it after almost a week MIA 😅 The moodboard is finally ready, by the way. So surprise by the end of the weekend ✨! I couldn't answer the previous questions this week, but know that I read every single one of them and I love them! They got me thinking a lot about my writing and creative process, in more ways than one.

The proof is that I've been steadily writing the whole week!

Back to today's question:

What have you learned recently, about yourself, about your writing, about your story?

I don't know how everybody will interpret "recently"; I'm going to go with the past year, which also happened to have been a tough year for all of us, wherever we are. Ironically, the pandemic and various lockdowns my country has been through have enabled me to reconnect with myself in ways I couldn't believe existed.

And the catalyst of this connection was my writing.

I already knew this activity counted a lot to me, to the extent that I adapt my weekly workload to my writing sessions (and not the other way round). Even though my writing buddy and I are really cool with the schedule, I know that I need it like breathing. And this past year, more than anything.

The lockdowns made me realise how much of an introvert I am, and the extent of 'me moments' I need to recharge: to quiet down my nerves, to ease my social fatigue (which I didn't understand before), even to reboot my work efficiency. Seeing my colleagues struggle with stress while their favourite sports club was closed, I really felt like the lucky one to be able to fulfil my favourite activity at home. Writing took a whole new dimension then. it was my luxury escape, away from anxiety-ridden news, from secluded areas, from masked interactions, from social distancing codes.

So did daydreaming about my story. I no longer try to control the phases I daydream but make do of any occasion I can seize. Just like the writing process itself, I purposefully allow myself to divert my thought to my stories, and turn this gloomy reality where I'm being tossed and turned, hanging by the thread of any overnight decisions on the way I'm supposed to live and act, into something positive, something productive, something I can control. Stories that are about healing, repairing, hope.

Writing has become the safe place, the respite my mind and body need to endure the reality. I don't know how long this situation is going to last; I pray it'll be better soon for all of us. But I've learnt to be resilient inside and to channel my powerlessness into redeeming creativity. And while at some point in my Wip 1, I feared I'd no longer be able to create after that, I was proven wrong and I'm awfully glad about it ✌

@the-wip-project Day 28

Do you have an expression that you probably use too much in your writing?

I sometimes feel like my whole writing is nothing but an endless stream of the same expressions, the same syntax and the same words. Generally, this is the moment when my ever-so-caring self preserving reflex tells me that I need to read other works and other worlds to learn new sentences, new structures, new expressions. There was a time when I'd even note them down on a notebook (I should totally get back to that, come to think of it).

That reflex is actually more traitorous than I think (even after a couple of years - I'll never learn, right) because reading other works unfailingly stirs me to the edge of that self-deprecation chasm, where I stand for some time wondering if I should write at all. Come on, there are some many GOOD works out there (understand: far better)

I know this is a common feeling that many writers go through. Any tips? I'm really curious about how others deal with that?

@the-wip-project Days 16 to 19 (Gosh, I'm so so late 😥)

Do you have prophecies and superstitions as part of the worldbuilding in your WIP? Could you add some?

In WIP2, the A/B/O fic, there's this trope about the bond mates create when they claim each other (which is one of my favourite parts of the ABO universe to be honest) that I decided to use as a prerequisite superstition from the point of view of one of the secondary characters; a secondary character who'll only appear at the beginning and vanish shortly after, but whose impact on the protagonist will be powerful enough to ingrain this belief quite deep.

Only to be debunked later by the other main character 😊

Think about an interview question for your main character/s and then write down what they don’t say. What secrets do they keep? What do they lie about?

Right, so I've decided to present this as an interview between my protagonist and his psyche:

Protagonist: Alphas are a plague. They suck, stink and can go to Hell. I don't need one in my life. I can totally live without them. I'm independent and strong and in love with myself. Who needs alphas anyway?

Superego: Right, I understand where you come from. Your reaction is logical and the emotional charge of your thoughts is legitimate. I'm sure though that, when you calm down, you'll be able to see things in a more composed and lucid way, and consider your words as a bit extreme.

Ego: SHUT UP! I.GOT. HURT! NOT THEM, I! So yeah, alphas are the scum of the earth. Just watch me live my life like I don't care, and learn!

Id: lol.

What ideas came to you recently from daydreaming?

Too many. Like....

I've trying to figure out how a toddler speaks in English and how adults would react. I've also been thinking about future scenes, which should normally happen a few chapters later, and I'm always debating with myself whether I should write them down while they're vivid in my mind or focus on where I'm at, now. I've also made some research on Hawaii for my other wip, so my head is also full of palm trees, paradise beaches, luxuriant vegetation in the volcanic outback (very pleasant part of the daydreaming here) and the serious talk that must take place in such an idyllic environment (pretty ironic)

How do you decide which WIP to work on?

I've been asking myself this question since I started the second wip *scratches head* (my writing involves as much daydreaming as head-scratching, I'm realizing) and I've come to the idea to write a bit of both at the same time. And it's quite satisfying, since I have the feeling of overlooking neither, even if I don't produce a lot. Besides, as they're very different, one really allows me to take a step back from the other and take the time to consider what I've just written (if it makes sense, what I forgot, didn't phrase accurately etc...).