START OF SOMETHING NEW - Prologue

START OF SOMETHING NEW - Prologue

A/N: I’m starting another series not sure how it will be received. A little angst buys mostly a reader learning to love herself and that the universe isn’t out to get her.

Bucky X Plus size!Reader

Warnings: Slow burn, like seriously slow, self-depreciation

You had always wanted to get married. Wanted a family, people to take care of and get care from. There must be something wrong with you though because no one ever looked your way. It never happened to you, no double glances because you looked gorgeous. No one ever flirted with you, maybe you were broken in some fashion.

For a while, you had convinced yourself that it was ok not to have anyone. Every once in a while you had to face it. No one wanted you. It came in the form of an off-handed comment from a friend or when hanging out and people paired up leaving you to shuffle from pair to pair trying not to intrude on them too much.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly where you fell short. You certainly weren’t fit, round, pudgy, potato impersonator. You weren’t ugly no but you weren’t beautiful. A talent of yours was making people laugh, generally enjoying your presence. But at the end of the day, you had to believe that no one should be forced to deal with you. It was better this way.

It didn’t really help that you were somehow friends with the hottest group of heroes the world had ever seen. You weren’t even sure how it happened in the first place. You work in the Compound but you weren’t an agent. You were a cook in the cafeteria for the rest of the agents. Not the most noticeable, but Tony had found you cooking and cleaning late in the evening. Demanding food, you fed him and like a pigeon he kept coming back looking for more.

It seemed he spread the word because every once in a while another new face would appear seeking the same. You turned into a listening ear as well. A silent partner that would allow them to get everything off a chest and return to their lives.

In essence, you were a support character, not only in everyone’s life but yours as well. You knew though that if that was all you were meant to be then you would be the best support you can. Just because you didn’t get a happy ending doesn’t mean you could help your friends reach theirs, whatever role you had to be.

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Am I Enough PT 8

Summary: A successful return. Now how will they handle being confronted daily with their fears?

Warnings: Bringing back the angst!

A/N: Don’t hate me too much. Also not as long as it usually is. I apologize for the delay. I got super busy. Thoughts and comments always welcome.

“This whole situation is toxic. How can you, for one moment, even think of doing something like this? What started this in the first place? No, never mind I don’t want to know. Don’t tell me. I might do something unforgivable.”

Y/N POV

One would think after such a great reunion with everyone, you would be ok living in the same vicinity as Bucky. You pulled it off so well, something must have happened at movie night. For days you would catch your friends giving you side eyes, checking to see if you were ok, how you slept even. There was this undertone, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on buying it was there. You’d figure it out eventually.

Being as you were back in the city you called up your boss letting her know all had been resolved. She was brief with you, never really staying on topic as you talked. By the end, she told you they had replaced you and you would have to find other employment. She was soooo sorry, as she put it. The temp they hired just worked out a little too well. This left you without a job and without a home for the foreseeable future.

For once you buried your pride and approached Tony, he could help. You went to his workshop, knocking but knowing nothing could be heard over his rock. You slide the door open and stepped in. He was wearing a white tank top and covered in grease. He jammed around the place throwing holograms from place to place. Just watching made you dizzy and confused.

Finally, the song ended, “Hey, Tony.” You raised your voice to ensure he heard as the next song belted out of the speakers.

“Ah, munchkin. What brings you to my lair?”

“I..” You swallow, just say it, you reprimanded yourself. “I need your help. You see I lost my job and I really have no idea what to do now.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place! I have plenty to offer you, even if you want to try something out first. Just know you don’t have to work to stay here. Even if you need shopping money I’m here.” He had grabbed your shoulders, shaking you to emphasize how serious he was.

“Alright, let me know. I think I’ll take some time off first. I haven’t had real downtime in forever.”

“Perfect, I’ll have FRIDAY send you potentials let her know which you like.”

You gave him a quick hug and skipped away. You were coming down the hall toward the living room when you turned the corner. This landed you face to face with a certain redhead. You both froze staring at each other. Besides dinner that night you hadn’t seen her, she was good at what she does but here she was. You stared at her taking her in., her cheeks hollow, her eyes had bags so deep in color it looked almost painted on, even her hair that flaming red seemed dull hanging limply around her face.

Sadness sweeps over you again, she looked so small now. This person was a complete opposite of what you had grown to know. It was then that anger, courses through. She should be suffering, how could she not? What she did to you, she deserved it. You shudder this wasn’t like you, this strong hate. She was your friend at one point, she shouldn’t be wasting away like this. It was still there though the anger, the pain.

Nat saw the shudder and the residual anger on your face. Taking a step back from you, she assessed the situation trying to find the quickest way out. She tilted to make her retreat when she paused.

“(Y/N), I… I can’t… I’m sorry. It should have never happened and I know you may never be able to forgive me but I am truly sorry.” She hiccups eyes filled with tears. For the moment you let the anger take over.

“It still happened, you let it happen. You choose this, you went behind my back and slept with my boyfriend. I told you everything about him and us. All the problems, the tears, and struggles. Everything! So no I can’t forgive you and a part never wants to. You lied to my face multiple times went behind my back. Heck, you're probably still sleeping with him still. But I get, you one, you got the guy. Just don’t expect me to be happy for you either.”

You were yelling at her by the end. Trying to show her just a glimpse of the pain you felt and the anger. “We aren’t together, we broke it off I can’t even look at him. Knowing what I did to you. Please, we want to make it better, I promise nothing is going on between us.”

“Your promises mean nothing to me now. I don’t think you fully know how much it hurt to not only lose both my best friend but to find I lost my boyfriend to her. I lost everything now because you two decided to go behind my back and pretend that what we had was real.”

You were so confused, she had gotten what she wanted. Bucky was her’ s and as far as you were concerned she could have him. Then why did you want to believe her? No, crave to believe it.

“I can’t do this with you any more Nat, just leave me alone.” With that, you shoved passed her.

You were fuming when you walked into the main room as your luck would have there sat Bucky at the kitchen counter. You almost went back the way you came, only you saw Nat still down the hall. You were quite literally between a rock and a hard place. You sigh and resign yourself to your fate of having two not needed conversations.

You head to the fridge pulling it open. Bucky’s head jerks up and stares at you rummaging through the food.

“Oh, hey (Y/N), I.. um.” You ignore him it clear he had heard your conversation with Nat. You tense, but you are actually kind of glad. He knew how you felt now, where he stood with you. Maybe he wouldn’t try anything now. It wasn’t meant to be as he clears his throat.

“You know what she said is true we haven’t done anything since you left. We are barely able to stay in the same room now.”

You bang the fridge door closed, your appetite now gone. “I don’t care Bucky, I’m sure you heard and I’ll repeat you won. You got what you wanted, nothing is holding you back from her. I don’t want to talk to you anymore either.”

“I need to talk to you though. I messed up, but I want to fix it. Please, I’ll do anything, just tell me what to do, doll.”

“Don’t call me that, I’m no longer your doll. Based on how this conversation is going I won’t be your doll ever again.” The name that once made butterflies erupt now left a foul taste in your mouth. You spin and march out of the room, huffing. You weren’t going to entertain them, they can’t just walk back in expect everything to go back. All because they finally understood how much pain they had caused. How much of a ‘mistake’ they had made.

You needed a distraction and fast, so you turned to the one person that had done so so far.

Bucky POV

She practically ran away from him. He drops his head into his hands. Why was this so hard? He opened up to her, admitted he was wrong. Sam was right, as much as he hated to admit it, this was going to be the hardest thing he was going to do.

Steve walked in to see his friends head laid low. He can up behind him clapping him on the back.

“Hey man, everything alright?” He takes a seat next to him.

“No, everything is not alright, I don’t know what to do Steve. She was just here, I apologized to her but she said it meant nothing.” He could wrap his head around it all. This wasn’t like her, this wasn’t in any way like (Y/N). She was the most caring, selfless person, no matter what happened she was always there for him. No, that she wasn’t he didn’t know what to do about it anymore.

“Bucky, I know it may seem helpless right now, but see it from her point of view. She has lost everything that she holds dear. She can’t just trust you again because you say you’re sorry. How many times did you lie to her? Go behind her back? I’m not saying you won’t ever be forgiving, but it will take time a lot of time. She has to learn to trust you again. I know Sam told you this but this is work and it’s hard, but I know you can do it. I’ll be here to help.”

Bucky blinked at him, after everything that he had done, no one would blame Steve for not trusting him. He wrapped his arms around Steve pulling him in close.

“Thank you, for believing me. You didn’t have to but you do.” He had tears on his face. Not letting Steve go.

“You were stupid but I know you can do better and will. This is your last chance, jerk I can’t help you if you screw it up again.”

“Punk, I’m not letting her go ever again.” They pounded the others back and let go.

“Don’t push Bucky, let her come to you that’s the only way this is ever going to work.” He nods and wipes his tears before anyone could see.

“Ok, I can do that. I need…. I need to talk to Sam. He has ideas, I’m sure he can help me.”

“He can, this is going to work out I promise. I like what you did with the dinner, I think she liked it too.”

Again Bucky nods. Leaving Steve he goes to find Sam. He just needs to talk get this all off his chest. He had kept up talking to Sam but instead of over the phone now it was just in person. Having come to rely on it, it was a little harder with (Y/N) around though. It seemed like Sam and she were attached at the hip. One could hardly find one without the other, whispering between each other and laughing at private jokes between them. They seemed to be getting awfully close.

FRIDAY informed him of Sams location in the gym. Moving quickly he headed down. Just as he was reaching the door though he heard voices.

“Sam, thanks for always helping me.” Bucky knows that voice, it’s (Y/N). He stops trying to listen in through the closed door.

They must have retreated farther into the room and with Tony’s impressive sound blocking all the rest of the conversation. He crept closer trying to see in without being seen. The only perk of his Winter training, observing without being seen.

What he saw though made his heart stop. There they were standing close to each other, not an inch between them, suddenly he sees Sam’s hand come up and cradle the back of her neck. He tilts his head and their lips collide.

Bucky jerks away. He’s lost her and he’s lost her to the man that said he was going to help him.

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AM I ENOUGH

Bucky X Reader

Summary: he was your everything but apparently you weren’t his. Left with nothing but some memories where will life take you?

Warnings: Super angst right from the first sentence, Sam being awesome

A/N: ok I know I shouldn’t be starting something new when I’m working on something but this can to me and I needed to write it out before it left me. I’m tagging some people that have helped me write and make a better story. I hope I have put all your advice to good work. @annadier @marvelous-imagining and @metalarmproblems And the always amazing @veronicalei

“You promised you would stay with me. That nothing on Earth could stop you from breaking that promise. What did I do? I don’t know what I did wrong, not to make you leave me.”

“I know she’s perfect, she’s everything you deserve but I thought, maybe for once, I could be enough for someone, for you. You said I was everything you could ever need. Did you ever want me though? If you only needed me, you could have needed me and just been my friend. Why drag me through this and give me so much, only to say none of it was real?” Your cries have fallen on deaf ears. His back is now turned from you shutting you out once more.

The words were echoing in your head they were the first moments of everything crumbling down around you. You couldn’t stay here anymore. He wanted you gone.

You hastily scribbled out a note it was written on the back of one of your pictures making it hard to write on and puncturing the photo at times. Your hand was shaky and tears blurred your vision. You were determined however to get this out and send it to him.

“I’m sorry. I should have seen the signs earlier, but then again I guess I did. I was just fooling myself into thinking I could hold on to you longer when that’s probably when I already lost you. I’m sorry I kept you from her, I won’t bother you anymore. I hope one day you’ll forgive me for keeping you from her for so long.“

You write Love before scribbling it out and simply put your name.

You slide it under the door and walk away. He wouldn’t get it for a few days as he was gone on a mission. That left you with enough time to make a clean getaway, not that anyone was going to come after you.

You weren’t a part of the team, didn’t work with them, didn’t technically live with them either. You were just dating one of the members. Well dated one of them. In fact, if he hasn’t said anything they may not notice your absence for awhile thinking you were busy or something.

You had come to collect everything that you had left here. The clothes, the nic-nacs you had collected over time, photos, really anything that could remind him of you. He moved on and didn’t need your junk in the way. Carting it all away you drop most of it down the garbage shoot putting an end to that. You walked into the main lounge and collected a couple more things. With a final look around you said goodbye and the door shut it all from your view.

“FRIDAY, I’m leaving now you can revoke my access privileges as per his request.”

“All right, Miss (Y/L). It has been nice knowing you. Have a pleasant day.”

“I’ll try FRIDAY.”

Stepping out of the building you head out not quite knowing where you were going but knowing it was far away from here.

The team had gotten back from a grueling mission, they were all banged up and suffering from an arrangement of injuries but none needed professional medical help. A couple band-aids would do the trick and a hot shower for everything else. They filed out of the quinjet; to their surprise, you weren’t waiting there for them. Usually, you would be fidgeting waiting to see that each one was back and relatively unharmed.

Sam was the first to speak up “Hey man where is (Y/N)?” He asks Bucky. “She knew we were coming back today, yes? You text her?”

Bucky stiffens forgetting that you wouldn’t be here anymore. He shrugs attempting to take the subject off you and more so him.

“Man, I could really use a hug from her right now. You know check over my injuries, berate me for getting injured in the first place.” He jokes with the others. They all chuckle knowing that is exactly what you would do to all of them. Well except Bucky, you would be pampering and nitpicking his every move just to reassure yourself that he was safe.

“Maybe she fell asleep waiting for us. FRIDAY, we’re back, is (Y/N) in the building?” Tony asks you had done that a couple times before because of the lateness of a mission.

“No Sir she is not. She has not been back since two days ago. She collected some of her stuff and hasn’t been back since.”

“Oh, alright I’ll just have to text her since other people seem to have forgotten.” He says shooting Bucky a glare. Bucky can’t meet his eyes knowing the true reason to why you weren’t there.

They shuffle to their separate rooms to shower and change. They all eventually drift back to the kitchen when their stomachs announce their need for food. All but Bucky had come down, Steve the concerned friend he always was went to get him. Knocking on the door he found Bucky standing in his room showered but staring at the bed. It was nicely made the grey comforter pulled up and the pillows tucked under and plumped. The room was perfectly squared away not a thing out if the place it seemed odd but Steve shrugged it off and continued into the room.

He places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder causing him to jump at the touch. “Hey just wanted to let you know that there is dinner in the kitchen everyone is waiting for you. Have you heard anything from (Y/N) yet?” Bucky shakes his head. “Hey what’s up with you you’ve been weird for this whole mission and even now?”

“Its nothing Steve, I have just been dying to sleep in my own bed now.”

He rolls his shoulder pushing Steve’s hand off of him. He heads out leaving Steve behind, Steve takes a deep breath and drops his head. He was only trying to help. A picture on the ground catches his eyes, he stoops down to pick it up. It’s the picture from one of your days on the beach together. Bucky and You had romped along the beach all day playing in the water and building numerous sandcastles only to have the other knock it down. Here though you both had laid down tired from the day, your head was on his chest, his arm wrapped around you both sleeping under an umbrella. It was one of your favorites, flipping it over he reads your words.

His heart breaks, suddenly everything makes sense. Bucky’s attitude, he wouldn’t focus to save his life missing quite a few easy shots during the mission; the room, he looks up none of your personal things could be seen, there was nothing scattered about like you usually have. So that's what happened, he whips around and chases Bucky down. He starts waving the photo as he sees him sitting at the kitchen counter, not fully taking in his surroundings.

“What the heck is this?” Shoving it in his face. Bucky grabs it and looks at the photo before turning it over. He reads the words but doesn’t quite comprehend it all, so he sits and stares trying to make it say something else. He thought he wanted to move on from you that you weren’t enough but now, he wasn’t so sure. He hadn’t cared while you had screamed at him and begged him to explain.

“Answer me Bucky what happened between you and (Y/N)? Why isn’t she coming back?” You could hear a pin drop it was so silent in the room all gaping at Bucky.

“That’s why she is not here?“ Tony half standing now from where he had been sitting on the couch.

“Tell me!” Steve snaps. Taking Bucky by the collar and forcing him to look him in the eye.

“I….I broke up with her.” He whispers, “Right before the mission.” His voice keeps getting smaller.

“Why? Why would you ever want to do that?” Steve pleads. “She was your everything. You couldn’t stop talking about her when she wasn’t with you and when she was you were attached at the hip. She’s your best friend, a kind of friend I can never be.”

“I thought…” He trails off not wanting to phrase the next part wrong . “I thought I wanted something else… someone else.”

“You arrogant son of a… Did you cheat on her?” Tony growls.

“No, I couldn’t do that. Not to her.”

“But you could break up with her out of the blue after she gave you everything!”

“Hey whoa back up, now let’s calm down and talk it out” Sam is standing pulling Tony back by the shoulder trying to meditate before tensions could rise further. “Sit down Tony this isn’t going to help anything.”

Tony sits with a huff. Sam faces Bucky meeting his eyes. “Bucky I’m guessing you’re regretting breaking up with her now. Why?”

“I walked in the room and nothing felt right it wasn’t home, I looked for anything to hold on to buts all gone. She took everything of hers is gone even out here. The book she kept on the side table. The blankets, even the pillows every single one is gone. She disappeared and it like I’m missing a part of myself. I don’t know what to do.“

“And this person you were leaving her for, she doesn’t make you feel this way? Does she make you happy? Maybe you just need to get used to the idea that (Y/N) is gone.”

Protests were heard all around. Sam held up his hands shushing them as he went to explain himself. Bucky was looking even more confused staring now down at his hands like they held the answer.

“All I’m saying is I don’t want you trying to get her back just because you are used to her being there. She was a constant but you drifted away from her for a reason. I want you to decide whether she is everything you could ever want and need now and forever. That she is going to be the only one always. Or you can let her go and you both move on with your lives. You need to know she is not just going to let you back in after what you did to her. You are going to have to fight to get her back. It may take a long while longer than either of you may like but you have left a very broken girl in your wake. I want you to be absolutely certain you love her with all you have.”

Now everyone is staring at Sam. They tend to forget he is a councilor for the VA so everything that he just said made so much sense and very true. Now the question was he willing to fight for you?

To be continued……

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and @veronicalei

My Girl

Bucky X Reader

Summary: It takes but a moment to truly appreciate everything about his favorite girl. It’s the little things that add up to make one amazing woman.

A/N: This is based off one of my favorite songs “My Girl” by Dylan Scott.

It was another one of Tony’s party. There were people everywhere, the place was almost bursting at the seams. Everyone was dressed in their finest, gathered together in groups. Laughter and memories were shared throughout. The music was pounding away, overwhelming to some.

In all this, there stood a man at the end of the bar. The party seemed to flow around him, no one paid him much attention, there was nothing off about him. He was dressed in a black on a black ensemble that made his eyes look like stained glass held to the light. It was the atmosphere he held about him. The intense focus he held, his gaze piercing through the crowded room. He was in no way angry or upset, instead, there was adoration adorning his face.

His eyes following a single woman, taking in all her ways. In a room with so many, he saw only her in all her glory, like the sun drawing him in and never letting him go. Even with the countless gorgeous women, the societal version on perfection and all he could see was her.

She waltzed among the groups, laughing with some, dancing and singing to the music with the next. Each movement she made brought back a memory for him.

They were at her family reunion, in the middle of the country. She had worn a pair of faded jeans and a loose top. Her hair out of her face and a backward ball cap. Even though she wore no makeup, she was radiant to him. Her face filled with the joy of being surrounded by family. It wasn’t often that they got together. One is so far away from them, second, the job kept them pretty busy, mission after mission keeping them constantly on their toes.

Now though she was in her element, surrounded by family and friends. She had left Bucky after brief introductions with her family. He was currently sitting at the table with the female hierarchy in her family. Mother, grandmother, and a couple aunts. They were grilling him on his life choices, making sure he was treating their baby right. Even though he was sweating bullets and fidgeting with every question, it only took her to laugh being pulled on the wind to turn his head. He could be mid-answer when his head would spin around and focus in on her. Taking her in, one moment snatching her cousins baby.

At that moment, he could see a future with him. All the anxiety left him and he realized how much he truly loved her. He got up from the table leaving a smiling group of women, sharing knowing looks, he joined her. Wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her forehead.

He gets pulled back, like always hearing her laugh, he grabs her drink and saunters over to her. He slips his arms over her shoulders passing her drink to her.

He leans over murmuring in her ear, asking her if she was ready to go. They had a late night ride to go see her parents. She nods, she’s just as eager to get into the truck and go. Waving goodbye and hugging their friends as they went. The men were teasing him, telling him he was so in loved and wrapped around her finger.

He would always reply the same way. “You just wish you were me, cause that’s My Girl.”

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Am I Enough PT 12

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Things can’t go on like they have it’s time to change some things.

A/N: Hello All, I have had a rough month with writing no real motivation. But as today was my birthday today so I got my butt in gear and write this chapter enjoy. Also get ready for confrontations.

Y/N POV

Getting out of the tower turned out to be the greatest idea ever. Especially when it was with someone that you weren’t mad at. Steve and you spent the day galavanting about the city. You went sightseeing, Steve explained how things were back then, everything had changed of course. There was, of course, some shopping to be done, but it was nic-nacs little souvenirs from today’s travels. Your biggest find was a stuffed plush you had gotten from the aquarium, your favorite sea creature. The best find though was from a little shop that carried Avengers items. You had found it tucked in the back of the shop on the clearance rack. It had Tony wrote all over it, a red and gold mug stating The Stark Truth: Party All Night, Invent All Day, and A Little Love In Between with a picture of Iron Man on the other side. You had giggled the whole time. You couldn’t wait to give it to him when you got back.

It must have been a sightseeing Steve carrying this ginormous stuff you through the main lobby of the Avengers Tower. You had caught a few bug eyes yourself, you merely giggled while pulling Steve along a little faster eager to get home. The elevator ride was animated as you discussed the success of your day. You were both struggling to breathe, you were laughing so hard when the doors opened to the main living room. Clint was lounging with Natasha on the couch flipping through channels. Sam was talking to Wanda while pulling a massive sandwich towards him. He stopped it halfway there when you entered, letting lettuce and tomatoes fall out the back.

“What the heck is that?” Clint flips around on the couch leaning towards it. He is making grabby hands at it.

“This,” you say setting your other bags down to take the stuffy from Steve, keeping it well away from Clint. “This is my new boyfriend, Mr. Snickelfrits.” You pull him in and cuddle your face in the fur.

“Oh, give up on the human race I see, well darn shame. Let me see him. Wanna make sure he’s good enough for my girl.” He reaches out again to inspect the new boyfriend.

You can’t help but giggle handing the plush over. Clint takes the animal and gives it a few squeezes testing his worth. Then he straightens he is to get a good frontal look. “Hmm, good bone structure, clear eyes, don’t see nothing crazy here. Sufficiently lean, for now, might want to keep an eye out on it though. I know his kind.” He thrusts Mr. Snicklefrits down on the coffee table. “Now see here young man, you got yourself a good woman here. I don’t want to hear about any slacking off on your part you hear. I know how your kind works, getting lumpy and popping stitches after so long. Well, I won’t hear of it.”

He continues to educating him while the others laugh. You’re laughing the hardest by far loving every moment. You’re so caught up you don’t see the others gazes meeting around you. It was good to hear that laugh again to see the smile that splits your face. It had been too long for any of them.

You finally catch your breath and save your poor boyfriend from Clint's grasp. “All right leave him alone. He will take perfect care of me. Now if you will excuse me for a moment I need to get him comfy in my room.”

“Wow, at that stage already. Moving pretty quick don’t you think?” Clint called after you. You merely stuck your tongue out at him, continuing to your room.

Mr. Snicklefrits settled you head back to the living room, where you find the group chatting quietly to each other. Natasha sees you first and quickly changes whatever subject they were talking about. You decide to ignore it for now. They had been meddling a lot recently but maybe they were finally catching on that it wasn’t going to end well. Marching up you through yourself onto the couch between them.

“OK weirdos, what are we doing tonight?” You shift your head from side to side searching for answers in their faces. Most looked down looking slightly guilty, some attempting to pull off the innocent look. It was not working, you were, however, going to let it slide for now.

“Hey ho, people,” Tony storms into the room completely missing the atmosphere. “It’s time to get our groove on we to have a game night! Go get ready!” He starts to show people out of the room. They were all more than eager to escape the room with a good excuse to leave.

“Tony!” You get up skittering over to the side table for his gift. “I got you something while we were out.” You thrust the package into his hands as you approached him. You watched him unwrap it while bouncing on your toes, hardly containing the excitement of seeing his reaction.

He pulled out, taking a moment before throwing his head back in a full belly laugh. You couldn’t help but giggle along with him, knowing you hit the jackpot with the gift. He quickly grabs you into a hug, forcing all air out of your lungs. You squeeze him back for a second before tapping his back indicating your need to breathe.

“Well, I totally won that one.” You say with a giant smirk on your face.

“You did indeed! Now, anything you need to make your self more comfortable?” He said morning to your current attire. You nod and head back to your room changing into one of your comfiest pair of yoga pants and a loose t-shirt.

Heading back to the living room you see a giant stack of games has been set on a table along with snacks galore on another. The group was chatting around the bar each grabbing drinks and chatting. Joining them you go to fix yourself a drink when a glass is a slide in front of you already full and rest to go. You send a sidelong glance towards the person to bequeath you the drink. Bucky sends you a small smile, you can see the hope in his eyes silently pleading for you to take the drink as a show of peace for the evening. You pick it up and sip, of course, it is perfect, just like every time before. You nod to him accepting.

Turning you find the majority have sat down and munched on snacks. They had left 2 seats open of course right next to each other. You sigh shaking your head while grabbing a plate of food for yourself. You sit and join the current argument on which games are to be played. Nat and Bucky are arguing for a card game, which came with protests of them being really good at cheating. Bruce and Tony also being able to count cards. Thor was confused and called for the simple games like the Go Fish and Finding the Old Maid with no name.

You laugh at their antics while quietly getting up and choosing a board game. Selecting your favorite you quickly return and set the box down. The others continue to rant while Bucky sends you another smile helping you set up the game and get all the appropriate pieces. They have finally noticed that a game has appeared before them and you and Bucky are quietly chatting over your cards. A little trash talk and a little plan of action.

Noises of agreement go around all once again sharing looks of accomplishment with each other. The game begins and you rotate through your turns. Throughout you find the usual stubborn people are giving in a little too quickly and Bucky is standing up for your choices a little too often. You feel a small twitch growing in your eye.

Games get traded for others, while funny stories get passed around. It’s pretty much how all your game night go. Bucky is practically your butler waiting on you hand and foot. Drink need to be refilled, done. More food, done. Piece or card on the floor, not even a chance to bend over before Bucky has returned it to you. The first twitch goes off after about the 6th time he asks if you need anything in an hour. You merely shake your head at him.

On the 4th game for the night, you’ve noticed a shift in the stories. Most of them containing time when Bucky and yourself were together. Everyone just keeps going, building it up. The twitch gets worse, the sighs more frequent.

It wasn’t that they weren’t good stories but did they have to be so obvious about their plan to get you and Bucky back together. It was the final straw when you got up to pick a new game. You headed to the table glancing at each trying to pick. You heard whispering behind you followed by a scrape from a chair. Bucky had joined you in picking a game.

“Do you need any help?” He whispers. You grip the table while dropping your head to the table in a vain attempt to calm yourself down. Muttering that he was just trying to help and the others were forcing him. You catch him shooting a look back towards the main table.

They must have signaled at him because he followed with, “Are you feeling ok?” You felt the snap, heck Bucky probably heard it. He could see the way your back went ramrod straight and your breathing became heavy.

“Go sit down.” It was more of a mumble really, your last ditch effort to remain calm. Of course, this is not understood by the super soldier. He reaches a hand out placing it on your shoulder. You flip around knocking it off you while turning to the group. Of course, this would have been easier if it wasn’t his metal arm on you. You had swung so fast you were sure a bruise and maybe a cracked bone in your hand now. You clutch your hand to your chest, bouncing on your toes like it would alleviate some of the pain.

Bucky began to fuss, focusing on making the pain go away, eyes panicked with raised eyebrows. His hand flirted about you looking for a place to hold. Since the group had already been blatantly staring anyway they rose to assist.

“Sit down, damn it.” You scream at them, finally coming to a standstill. No one headed your words, still coming towards you. You shuffle backward. “I said sit down, now sit! You as well.” You motion to Bucky. He carefully retreats not wishing to anger you further.

“I know this may come as a surprise to you, but I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I can pick a game out on my own. I am quite good at obtaining my own food. I don’t need to wait on hand and foot. I've not broken anymore.” There was a collective in the draw of air. You shoot all of them a glare freezing any words about to come out. “No, nope don’t even speak right now. I am so frustrated with you all right now.” You point your finger at Bucky staring him down making sure he would understand what you were about to say next. “You best make note of everything I’m about to say cause this is where we stand right now.” You scan over the rest of the group, some were innocent in all this but best get it all out at once to prevent future issues.

“Yes, Bucky and I have broken up. Yes, he did cheat on me with Natasha. Yes, I did run away for a little while. Yes, I was broken and confused on how to go on with my life. It seemed like the best choice at the time. Even though none of you listened to me you still came after me and I thank you for that. Who knows what would be happening right now if you didn’t. That being said I’m doing alright, I’m working through it with the help of you guys keeping me busy and entertained. The meddling has to stop.” There was a chorus of protests going up, but you shushed them. “Yes, you are don’t try to deny it. For a group of superheroes and spys, you aren’t good at hiding this kind of things. You’re so obvious about it, especially tonight. I need you guys to stop now. I need Bucky to show me himself that he is capable of fixing this, whatever this ends up being. Let him prove it on his own.” You glance at the man himself. “I’m not saying you can’t get advice or ideas from them, but I want it to be you. I’m tired of every single meal or event has to be some staged intervention. Tony is a perfect example, forcing Nat and me to go on one of the most awkward lunches ever. I’m not ready for that yet, yes I may need a shove eventually but that is on Natasha and how much she may or may not value our friendship. Just stop please with the plans. It’s their mistake to fix not yours.”

You huff once more before turning back to the table to blink the tears out of your eyes, your hand still throbbing. You loved them all to death, it just killed you that they couldn’t seem to understand how much this hurt you. You feel a hand upon your shoulder, Tony slowly turns you into his chest resting his chin on your head.

“Sorry Kiddo, we didn’t mean to make you feel this way. We’ll stop interfering and let whatever happens to happen. Now can we check out your hand, you’re bleeding.”

You pull your hand up to see the top scrapped up and a blueish purple tint forming. You pull a sheepish smile, nodding in agreement. Bruce and Tony lead you away to the med lab for a quick look. The doctor looks you over and tells you, you’ve cracked the 3 middle fingers in your hand. He gives you some pain. Meds and instructions to properly care for your brace and send you off.

It’s now about 2 am and people are still lounging around playing games. Sam sees you exit the elevator, quickly running over pulling you into a hug.

“Man I knew you were a special kinda stupid but really, though you could beat Bucky’s arm in a slap fight.” Pushing you away to examine the rest of you. You shack tour head with a laugh. One by one they all get a hug followed by an apology, though Thor apologized for no reason other than eating your snacks.

“Alright, I think we’ve had enough excitement for tonight let’s all get to bed. Including you Kiddo.”

You’re left with a squirming Natasha and Bucky. You couldn’t help but fidget as well this was the first time you had been alone with the both of them.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky speaks up first. “I just didn’t want to screw up the chance you're giving me. You’re right though this is my problem and I want to fix it. I shouldn’t have related on them to fix it for me.”

“It’s alright I know why you did it, you know how they like to go overboard with things.” He chuckles and nods. “Bucky,” He lifts his head eager to please you. “I know you can do it, you did it the first time you can do it again.” He nods once more and passes you gently patting your shoulder.

“Oh and Bucky, this” you raise your hand and indicate the bandages, “not your fault. You do have a tendency to take the blame for things that can’t be helped. I shouldn’t have lashed out as I did. My temper got the best of me.” He gives his now signature nod and continues towards his room.

Going back to Nat, you take a small breath. She though beat you to the punch. “Thank you, for giving me another shot, I don’t know why in my ever mind I thought to separate you two was a good idea.” You go to interrupt her. She holds up her hand halting all protests. “Please just let me get this out.” You nod signaling her to continue. “I…I was jealous pure and simple. You had everything I wanted, down to the stupid little problems and I wanted that. Your relationship with Bucky and just complaining about little things from the office. I’ve never been jealous like this before, not with something so pure. I guess I was of you both. Bucky got the perfect relationship, with the normal love. I wanted it so bad it hurt. You had the guy who treated you like you were a Goddess and I wanted that. I’m not trying to reason with you make you forgive me. I want you to know how grateful I am that you still let me in your life and are giving me a chance to prove I was and am your friend and I will do anything to get that back with you. Please just tell me what to do to make it possible.” She had tears building in her eyes, her voice cracking several times while speaking.

Emotion runs through you, you want your best friend back. Every piece that made up its crazy self. From the shopping to the late-night talks with mountains of candy. Heck, you would even take being thrown to the mats a few times. There was this fear though that what happened before would happen again. You couldn’t just throw yourself wholeheartedly in it again.

“Its like I’ve told Bucky and the others, I need time. I can’t go straight back but I’m willing to try taking small steps. Maybe a couple lunches with Wanda or the others. I want my friend back, someone to talk to and gossip with I miss you but I can’t commit right now.”

She nods her head eager just like Bucky to make up. “I’ll do it anything and I’ll do it myself.”

She rushes up to you, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you for the chance.” Letting you go she retreats to her room. Sam comes out a few seconds later wrapping an arm around you.

“That was very brave, few would be willing to give it a shot like you have.” You shift to wrap your arms around his waist pulling yourself close.

“Just tell me I’m not making a mistake with this. I don’t want to hurt again but I want what I had before.”

He runs his hands up and down your back soothing your nerves. “I can’t, but I think you have two people that also want that just as much and are willing to work for it. You can’t take that for granted. It will all work out in the end. Life doesn’t come without pain though I can tell you that.”

Giving your arms a pat he leads you to the couch. Pulling up a movie you both cuddle with each other. You are quick to drift off, pain meds pulling you under quickly. You find yourself stretches out next to Sam, with the opening credits to whatever chosen movie begins to play.

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I'll Be Here Part 3

Steve X Reader

Summary: after successfully being rescued. You head towards Wakanda. There the doctors work to cure you of all Dr. Keigal’s evil doings. Also maybe finally get the guy.

A/N: So here is part 3 sorry it took so long didn’t quite know how to finish this off. Though if anyone is interested I am willing to do an epilogue for this.

The quinjet finally lands in Wakanda of all places, turns out T'Challa has offered you a place to lay low while this all blows over. Though there is no guarantee that any of this will ever work out in your favor. The rear hatch drops and a team of medical personnel come swarming in. If you hadn’t been asleep you would have been overwhelmed by all the hands reaching for you. Luckily you had Steve to accomplish that for you. He tenses shifting back as far as he can, squeezing you tighter to his chest.

“Whoa, easy there Captain they're just trying to help.” Sam is ushering a few of them back, letting Steve have space and giving him the decision on what happens next.

“They are only trying to help Steve,” T'Challa says still sensing the hesitation in him. “I have personally selected each person for her, she will only get the best care.”

Steve nods at this and carefully places you on the gurney. “Don’t strap her down you’ll only scare her more.”

With that, you are whisked out, the team shouting stats out to each other to be taken down. The rest follow behind a little slower knowing that they could no longer do anything to help you now. Steve quickly heads to his room to change leaving the rest awkwardly with T'Challa, wondering exactly what was going to happen now.

“So cat man, thanks for taking us in I guess,” Sam says glancing his way.

“The least I could do considering I helped put you in this situation”

“Think nothing of it just doing what you thought was right, can’t hold that against you when we are pretty much doing the same thing.”

“Well consider this your home now, I have set up a Villa on the outer edge of the palace for you and your friends to use. You are free to roam and merely ask for anything and if possible it will be provided. Kalal will guide you so you can settle in also if you would provide her with basic measurements we can get a wardrobe started for you.”

Woah, never had one of these before. That’s quite dandy. I could get used to this!“ Scott says in awe of all that’s happening.

The group heads out when Clint turns back "Hey where can we find (Y/N) after we are done?”

“Kalal will guide you to her when you are ready.” With that, he turned away and headed toward the largest of buildings on the ground.

Steve moved with a speed he really didn’t know he possessed, eager to get back to you as soon as he could. When he entered the hospital wing he was directed to the ICU, as he grew closer he heard shouting from within. He does up even more running till he found you the doctors were trying to hold you down but without touching you as again you were admitting a grey fog.

You had woken to an unfamiliar room surrounded by people. You tried to scoot away from them, making yourself as small as possible. You start whimpering and creating a hallucinating fog to keep the strangers at bay. This was the first time in awhile you had been able to do it, but it quickly faded as your strength drained. Suddenly you felt a pair of strong arms collect you and your enveloped in warmth and placed against a firm chest. You still and open your eyes glancing into those familiar blue eyes you loved the most.

“Steve,” you sign melting further into him.

“I got you. It’s all ok, these people are here to help you.” You're shaking your head hard, not again the last doctor that “helped” you had made you like this.

“Please, no. I don’t want to don’t make me.” You are begging him, tears falling down your cheek.

“Ok, alright. I got you. I won’t let them do anything to harm, sweetheart I promise.” He squeezes you tight. Making eye contact with the doctor he signals him to drug you. “Close your eyes, you need to rest, I need you all better.”

You nod slowly your eyes already drifting shut, half from the command Steve gave you, the other from the medicine now coursing through your veins. He carefully lays you back on the bed but continues to hold your hand, stroking the back with his thumb. The doctors get to work drawing blood samples and hooking you up to a few different machines again, each had its own annoying beeping sound. They flat out told Steve to stay put, in case you woke up again. For the next few hours, they ran tests and scans trying to figure out what Dr. Keigal had done and how to reverse it. You had another seizure after a while, and again Steve panicked calling for the doctors while holding you as still as he could. They swarmed around getting readings and more samples before injecting another sedative into you.

As you stilled Steve wiped tears away from his eyes. He couldn’t believe this was happening to you. You had never done anything wrong, yeah you were a feisty one but it was always in defense of your family. Even Tony had been rebuked by your statements when confronting Ross. It was probably one of the main reasons Tony had reached out to Steve to make it alright with you. Steve had seen all this and admitted to himself that you were more than special to him. He was going to prove it to you when you got better. Even when he kissed Sharon it didn’t feel right. If anything it felt like a past he wanted to let go of. Yeah he had missed his chance with Peggy but a Carter wasn’t the answer, maybe you were.

When your eyes begin to open you so nothing but shadows and muffled noises could be heard. Your hand twitches causing the hand holding it to tighten. “(Y/N)?” You turn your head towards the sound. Steve is grasping your hand in his. “Hey, how you feel?” You try to speak but not much comes out, merely a faint squeak and some air. You lift your hand a little and flutter it horizontally signaling so-so.

You are taking stock of your self and surprisingly you don’t feel all that bad. Your whole body is one big ache but there is no shooting pain no tremors. You get a confused look on your face while you focus on yourself.

“Ha, surprised turned out all we needed was to reintroduce the poisons back into your system. What is a poison for others is a cure for you? Just have to be different, don’t you? The doctors say you’ll make a full recovery no seizures or anything of the sort.” Steve sounds so excited and thrilled that you’re going to get all better. You send him a small smile glad to see his smile once more, it had been a long time since you last saw it. Rolling your head you see the rest team from Steve’s side of the dispute. They all smile at you.

“Trying to give us a scare are you?” Sam questions you with a raised eyebrow, you shake your head. “Don’t do that again you hear?”

The teams laugh and the conversation continues on. You glance back at Steve watching as he takes in his friend’s lighter mood. He seems so much more at peace no than before. The door swings open to reveal T'Challa.

“I see our esteemed guest has awakened I hope everything is going well and suitable to your tastes?” Everyone nods in agreement even you. “Welcome to Wakanda, Miss (Y/N). The doctors were just saying that as long as nothing happens tonight you will be free to join your friends in the villa tomorrow.” Cheers pass through the roo. Even you get excited about shifting in your bed. “For now though, if you would like, the doctor said a nice stroll outside will do you good. Maybe the Captain can take you?”

You nod your head quickly you want to feel the wind on your face again. See the sun and take in fresh air from the outdoors. Steve calls for a wheelchair and places you gently in, he even straps you in though you attempt to swat his hands away from you. He merely cocks his brows and you give in, he had to do this for his own piece of mind. You part ways with the team with promises of meeting tomorrow back at the villa.

As soon as the outer doors open you can feel the wind blowing in your face. A smile that practically cracks your face, comes on. You take deep breaths filling your lungs with as much fresh air as you can. You mean your head back as the sun glint down upon your face. You take it all in every bit of it. Then you laugh, full and loud.

“I.. I didn’t think I would ever get out of there.” You confess to Steve “I was laying on that bed and multiple times I would think this is it. It’s all over for me.”

“You’re here now though and that’s what matters. No one is ever going to put you in a hell hole like that again.” His voice is firm and determined. You nod having complete faith in his promise to you.

Steve rolls you to a little grove in the jungle just outside the parks you near a bench and sits down next to you reaching for your hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner if I had known…”

“No there was no way you could have ever known.”

“I know that but…”

“No it’s over you came back for me that’s all that matters.”

He nods looking you over. “When we split before the fight, I realized something. But it was more final and completely true when I got you back. When I thought I would never get you back or that they had almost killed you I realized that you mean more to me than anyone ever has. I was willing to abandon Bucky until I got you back that’s how much I need you.”

You can feel tears forming in your eyes, here was the man you had pined over for years hoping one day he would say something like this to you. It was almost to good to be true.

“I need you to know though, I care about you.” Your heart flutter so close to the words. “No I…I love you. There’s no other way to put this. I know it’s bad timing after everything happened but I do. I love you.”

You leap over the arm of his chair crashing into his arms while throwing yours around his neck. You start to laugh and cry all at the same time. A real dream come true.

“I take that to mean you love me too?”

“Yes, I love you! I love you so much. I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to hear that.” You are nodding and wiping tears off your face.

“Good now let’s get you back inside I know the air is good for you but I need my best gal all rested up so she can come home.”

You nod your head “I’ll be here!”

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