The Couples Bickering Mid Sesh, Is Such A Refreshing Twist To Read

The couples bickering mid sesh, is such a refreshing twist to read 😂

aemulus. (noun) latin for rival or competitor. thought to be the origin of the name emily.

park seonghwa is in no position to ask you for a favor. but being underqualified for something has never stopped him before.

pairing: academic rival!seonghwa x fem!reader

details: grad school/nursing school au, fake dating

word count: 8.1k

warnings: swearing, food allergy, smut (18+ mdni), oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, discussion of birth control methods

a/n: for @sluttywoozi's birthday <3 (just a month and a half late)

playlist

“I need a favor.”

“From me?”

Seonghwa tongues his cheek and looks around. “Is there anyone else in the room?”

You scoff. You aren’t friends with Park Seonghwa. You don’t even particularly like Park Seonghwa. You know the feeling’s mutual so why was he asking you for a favor?

“If you want something from me you should try being a little nicer,” you mutter, turning your attention back to the textbook on the desk in front of you. 

You hear Seonghwa sigh beside you before he tries again. “Sorry, yes, I need a favor from you. I need a date to this event Dr. Harvey is hosting for all of his graduate mentees next weekend.”

Date? You? Your face must be scrunched up into an expression of confusion and concern because Seonghwa puts his hand out to stop you before you interject. 

“Yes, it has to be you. I-I’m trying to secure a position on his research team next semester and I need an extra edge.”

You raise an eyebrow. “And I’m the extra edge?”

“Exactly! Dr. Harvey loves you. If I show up with you on my arm, the spot is mine for sure.”

“You really think it’ll be that easy? I haven’t taken one of Dr. Harvey’s classes since undergrad.”

You’re not even a student in Seonghwa’s program, the one Dr. Harvey was the head of. There just happened to be some overlap between your field of study and his that required you to take some of the same courses. 

“But you were his TA last semester, and you’re the top student in the department, after me-” you have to fight the urge to roll your eyes, “he brings you up in almost every meeting we have,” he continues, sounding more than a little annoyed, “when we’re supposed to be talking about my dissertation.”

Despite the non-case Seonghwa was making on his behalf, you couldn’t help but feel a little curious. “He does? What does he say?’

“Usually, it’s little comments about how you would do something differently, which is not-so-subtle code for better. If you ever decide to write a dissertation on microbiology, let him know. I’m sure he’d love to be your mentor-” Seonghwa stops himself there, taking a deep breath as if to physically shake the bitterness from his demeanor. “Sorry. The point is that he thinks very highly of you and it would really help me out if you were my plus-one to this thing.”

“And what exactly does ‘this thing’ entail?”

“It’s a little appreciation banquet for all of the students he’s mentoring. He said it’s at this hotel, I think it’s downtown, and it’s a dinner and drinks in the evening and a brunch the next morning-”

“Wait, it’s overnight?” You hadn’t meant or intended to interrupt him but the prospect of spending the night in the same room with Park Seonghwa was enough to make you panic and forget your manners. 

Seonghwa looks annoyed that you cut him off but holds himself back from responding with something snippy. Instead, he lets it go. Unheard of for him.

“Yes, but it’s just one night.”

“One night?” He nods. “And I just have to show up with you?”

“Well, you’d pretend to be my girlfriend. ”

Right. That had sort of been implied when he asked but you were hoping that wasn’t the case. It honestly sounded like a nightmare, but the idea of having something to hold over Seonghwa’s head was tempting. 

Doing him the favor was one thing. The execution of said favor was another. Were you going to be able to put on a believable act as Seonghwa’s girlfriend? It certainly wasn’t going to come naturally to you... but you were friends with a bunch of theatre kids. You could pull it off. Probably. 

“Okay, well, what’s in it for me?” you ask.

He blinks, clearly caught off guard by your question like he hadn’t expected to get this far. 

“What do you want?”

Oh fuck. You scramble to think of something worthwhile that he could be of use for, coming up short in pretty much all aspects.

“My dad’s getting married in a couple of months. Our little duet can have an encore then.”

Seonghwa grins and offers his hand for you to shake. “Send me the details. Pleasure doing business.”

-

It isn’t until Seonghwa’s already left the classroom that he realizes he doesn’t even have your number. He’s known you for years now but has never had to contact you outside of the context of school. Never had reason to. He could turn around right now and go back and ask for your phone number. You’re still in there. 

He lets his pride get the better of him, and with a quiet groan, he shoves his hands in his pockets and keeps walking. He’ll just email you later to ask for it. 

-

You iron out the details over text, once Seonghwa finally gets your number. You had made fun of him in your reply email for forgetting to get it back when he begged you to come with him in the first place, which only reassured Seonghwa that he had made the right choice that day. It would’ve been way more embarrassing to have you say that to his face. 

He asks you to meet him at a cafe the day before the event so you can iron out your story together. You look nervous, he notes, so he tries to break the ice. 

“Thank you for agreeing to meet here. I would’ve had you over to my place, but my roommates are kind of obnoxious.”

“That’s okay. Thanks for the coffee.” You gesture with your cup, shaking the ice around before taking a tentative sip. 

“Least I could do, considering.”

You shrug. “You’re already repaying me by going to my dad’s wedding with me, but I’m not one to turn down free coffee.”

“Fair enough.” He clears his throat. “So, how’d we fall in love?”

-

Seonghwa picks you up at five pm on Saturday. He makes some comment about you looking nice that you don’t really believe he means, but you return the compliment anyway. He does look good. Annoyingly so. He had told you it was a formal event but you hadn’t expected him to show up in a fucking three-piece suit. 

His hair is slicked back on the side to show off his undercut, and wire-rimmed glasses sit on the bridge of his nose, the reflection of traffic lights and street lamps shining in the lenses. It’s a little intimidating to be on his arm for the night when he looks like that, not that you didn’t also dress for the occasion, he just... looks so sharp. 

“Do you have everything you need?” he asks as you climb into the passenger seat. “Pajamas? Toothbrush?”

“I think so.”

“If you forget something we can probably grab it at the kiosk they have in the lobby,” he assures you.

You groan. “Yeah, but we’ll have to pay a small fortune for it.”

“That’s the price of convenience.” He puts the car in drive and navigates out of your apartment complex’s parking lot onto the main road. “You can pick the music,” he offers after a moment of silence. 

“But you’re the one driving.”

“Is that a rule?”

“Yeah, the driver picks the music. Have you never heard of that before?”

He shakes his head but hums thoughtfully. “No, but I don’t mind. I’m not picky.”

“Shocking,” you mutter under your breath. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

You plug the aux into the lightning port on your phone and scroll through your playlist until you land on something you deem to be neutral enough to play in the background. You can feel Seonghwa watching you out of the corner of his eye but you willfully ignore it. 

“Do you remember the story?”

You nod. “We only got together officially a couple of months ago. You asked me out by waiting outside the door of one of my classes last semester-”

“Which class?”

“Um...” you frowned, trying to remember. 

“It was pharmacology.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Just be sure to remember that.”

“I don’t think anyone is going to be interrogating us about our relationship,” you scoff. 

Seonghwa takes a deep breath. “You’re right, I’m sorry. This is just important to me and it needs to be believable. If anyone were to find out that I tried to pull this shit off just to get on Harvey’s good side... I don’t even know what would happen to me. Like, would I get expelled? I definitely wouldn’t get the position, I-”

“Woah,” you cut him off before he can spiral any further, “we... don’t have to do this. You can drop me off back at my apartment and pretend like it never happened. I won’t make you go to the wedding...”

“No, no I need you,” Seonghwa insists, panicked. “It just... didn’t occur to me how stupid this idea was until now.”

“If you think it’s a bad idea we shouldn’t do it,” you reason.

“It is a bad idea,” he agrees, “but I don’t know what else to do. Jung Wooyoung is vying for the same spot and he’s way more likable than me.”

“That’s not true, he’s just more of a kiss-ass.”

“Same thing. Either way, I already told them I was bringing a plus-one so I can’t show up without you.”

You nod, holding back from suggesting other alternatives. Seonghwa seemed resolute on going through with it and it wouldn’t do any good to try and convince him otherwise. He was like you in that way. Stubborn to a fault. Trying to “fix” the problem would only start an argument and that was the last thing you needed right now. So you let it go, and it only killed you on the inside a little bit. 

-

Seonghwa checks into your room as soon as you get to the hotel. Since it’s late in the afternoon, it’s already ready, and you go up to drop off your things before navigating to the ballroom together. 

You try to ignore the single king-size bed in the middle of the room but it’s like it’s glaring right at you, taunting you in the reflection of the vanity mirror as you reapply your lipgloss. If Seonghwa notices your apprehension about it he doesn’t say anything. 

“We don’t have to go over the top,” Seonghwa reminds you in the elevator. “You don’t have to kiss me or be super touchy if you don’t want to. Some hand holding and familiarity should do it.”

“Are you sure?” 

He smirks at you. “I mean, if you want to kiss me, you’re more than welcome to. But it wasn’t part of our agreement.”

You stare at him. He had never said anything like that to you before. It felt like it had come out of nowhere. The smirk falls when he sees your reaction and he side steps away from you, clearing his throat awkwardly. 

“Sorry, I was, uh, I was kidding. It was, I wasn’t-”

The elevator dings to signal its arrival on the first floor before Seonghwa can finish whatever excuse he was stuttering through. He motions for you to exit first, putting his arm in front of the door to keep it from closing. When you turn back to look at him, he’s all calm and collected again like nothing even happened. The only evidence of ruffled feathers was the pressed set of his lips and the pink tinge of his cheeks. 

“Ready?” he asks, straightening his tie. 

“As I’ll ever be.”

He offers his hand to you and you take it, entwining your fingers with his. His thumb finds the back of your hand and draws absentminded circles. You’re not sure if it’s supposed to be comforting but it is. 

There are already a few people mingling when you and Seonghwa make it to the ballroom. You don’t recognize any of them but that was to be expected. Seonghwa had said that it was an intimate event, just Dr. Harvey, his mentees, and their potential plus-ones. Not everyone is here yet from what you can tell. You can’t hear Jung Wooyoung’s loud voice echoing throughout the hall so you figure he must be one of the late ones. 

The way the room is decorated reminds you a bit of Christmas with the opulent chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and the ivy garlands laid across the tables. All that's missing are the trees wrapped in lights and potted poinsettias in every corner.

Dr. Harvey is in the middle of a conversation with a couple of other students when he spots the two of you. He excuses himself and approaches you with a smile. 

“I’m glad that you both could make it!” he says, greeting you with a hug. 

He hugs your fake boyfriend next and claps him firmly on the back. Seonghwa coughs at the unexpected hit but plays it off easily with a chuckle. 

“When Park told me he was bringing you, I thought he was kidding. I couldn’t believe he finally got the guts to ask you out.”

Seonghwa stiffens next to you but keeps the smile plastered on his face. You, on the other hand, can’t mask your surprise. 

“What do you mean?” you press. 

“Oh, just that I sort of wondered if you kids would get together,” he explains. “You used to argue in my class all the time as undergraduates, but whenever we had group activities you would pair up anyway.”

“That’s because we didn’t trust anyone else with the work,” Seonghwa points out. 

You squeeze his hand urgently, trying to tell him to shut the fuck up before he ruins his chances with his big mouth. Thankfully, he seems to get the message and relaxes a little but you can tell he still wants to protest.   

“You didn’t even trust each other with the work,” the professor corrects. “You would bicker about every little thing under your breath when you thought I couldn’t hear even though you always sat in the front of the classroom.”

“I guess we are a little competitive,” you admit with a grin, looking up at Seonghwa with what you hope comes across as affection. 

“That’s an understatement, my love,” he agrees.

“Well, it’s nice to see that you’ve been able to turn that energy into something positive,” Dr. Harvey says. “What changed?”

“Well, we’d been seeing each other for a while and finally decided to make it official,” Seonghwa muses. 

And by ‘seeing each other’ he meant fucking. When you decided on your story that day in the cafe, Seonghwa had said it would make the most sense if your fake relationship budded from a friends-with-benefits thing- or acquaintances with benefits, whatever the two of you were. But of course, you couldn’t tell your professor that so you had to more so imply it by talking around the subject.

“Well, I hope that you being together means I’ll get to see more of your face. Park, you need to bring your girlfriend around the department some time. I’m sure the other faculty miss you too.”

Seonghwa nods. “I’ll be sure to do that, sir.”

“Great! I think some more people are starting to trickle in so I should go say hello, but please help yourselves to drinks while we wait for dinner.”

You both thank him and wait before saying anything else to each other. 

“I think that went okay,” Seonghwa sighs.

“Could’ve been worse,” you agree. 

He takes a quick look around before turning back to you. “Do you want something to drink, baby?”

“God, yes.”

At the bar, Seonghwa orders you both a glass of wine. It’s an open bar but there’s a little fish bowl for tips balanced on the edge of the counter so he deposits a couple of bills in it as he thanks the bartender.

He holds one of the glasses out to you with a half-smile. “Cheers.”

“To getting through the night,” you propose. 

“To getting through the night.”

-

Dinner is a choice between a chicken pasta dish, a beef and potatoes dish, and ratatouille that could be made vegan upon request. 

“Does the pesto have pine nuts in it?” Seonghwa asks the server when he reaches your end of the table.

“No, all of our options tonight are nut-free,” he replies. 

“Perfect, thank you. Did you want the pasta, then, baby?” 

“I- yes please.”

“And I’ll get the beef and we can share.”

“Sounds good,” the server says as he jots down your orders on his little notepad. 

You wait until he moves on to the next guest before leaning over to your date and whispering “I can’t believe you remembered.”

“Hm?”

“You remembered... I’m allergic to tree nuts.”

He shrugs like it’s no big deal and murmurs, “you almost dying in the middle of chem lab our freshman year is pretty hard to forget.”

He had a point. Still, you were surprised he remembered the girl that collapsed to the floor and had to be stabbed in the thigh with an EpiPen all those years ago as you. You’re not sure if you’d remember the details so clearly if it were the other way around. 

All of the dishes were pre-prepared by the hotel’s event catering staff so they were served almost immediately after the orders were taken. 

Dr. Harvey led the conversation, engaging each of his students about their studies and personal lives. He was even sure to include the plus ones at the table, making an effort to get to know them as well. That was why Dr. Harvey had been one of your favorite professors, why you’d agreed to TA for him when he asked. He genuinely cared about his students, wanted them to succeed and was willing to go the extra mile to help them do so. You still remember crying in his office over a failed lab report, remember how he had patiently walked you through what you’d done wrong until it finally clicked for you, how he ended up giving you half of the credit you missed back just for following up and showing how dedicated you were to learning the material.

Even now as he listens to his mentees talk about everything under the sun, he doesn’t want anyone to feel left out. 

A hand on your thigh startles you out of your zoning out. You had been trying your best to pay attention but it’s just so hard to stay attentive when Wooyoung opens his mouth. He’s been talking about algae for what you estimate to be the past twelve minutes- so in your defense, you never stood a chance anyway.

“Do you want another glass of wine?” Seonghwa asks, low enough for only you to hear.

You hadn’t even realized you’d finished your first one. It had probably happened sometime in the middle of Wooyung’s rambling. 

“Yes please.”

“Okay, be right back.”

He stands from the table and takes both yours and his empty glasses in one hand, using the other to push his chair back in. Thankfully, he’s back before you can be cornered by the others at the table. You can feel it, the curiosity your presence invokes from your peers. You only recognize a few of them but all of the sideways glances make you wonder how many of them suspect why you’re really here. Maybe you’re being paranoid. Maybe they’re just surprised Seonghwa managed to pull anyone at all... no, that couldn’t be it. He’s too hot, his personality alone wouldn’t be enough to deter anyone from going out with him. 

“What’s wrong?”

You take a sip from your newly refilled glass of wine and try to play it off. “Hm? What do you mean?”

“You’re making a face.”

“What face? This is just my face.”

“No, you’ve got that wrinkle in between your eyebrows. You’re worrying about something. What is it?”

You sigh and lean over to whisper in his ear. “I feel like your... friends think it’s weird that I’m here.”

“These people aren’t my friends.”

“I know. I didn’t know what else to call them- is that really the part of what I said that you think is important?”

“Why do you think they think it’s weird?”

“I don’t know, I just keep noticing everyone looking at me.”

“It’s probably because you’re pretty,” he suggests, which makes you want to change the subject entirely. 

He thinks you’re pretty? Does he think you’re pretty or does he think other people think you’re pretty? What would possess him to say something like that?

“That- no, it’s not that.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because I know what a dirty look is and I’ve been getting a lot of them. Do you think they’re onto us?”

Seonghwa makes a displeased sound in the back of his throat. “I don’t know. Maybe I underestimated the number of people applying for the same position as me.”

“Maybe, and maybe they know we haven’t always gotten along and are suspicious of why this is the first they’re hearing of us dating.”

“I guess we need to turn it up, then,” Seonghwa muses under his breath. 

“Wha- that’s not what I-”

-

After dinner, there’s a bit of mingling. You get the opportunity to formally introduce yourself to the guests you’ve never met before and answer the burning question on everyone’s mind as to why you’re there in the first place. 

Seonghwa’s hand is warm on the small of your back, making you wish you had decided against wearing a backless dress. Although, you suspect you still would have been able to feel the heat of his palm through the silk had it offered more coverage. 

“Didn’t think you had it in you, Park,” Hongjoong, you thought his name was, says as he wraps an arm around his own date. In her heels, she’s taller than him by an inch or so, and somehow it only makes the man more intimidating. “Thought you were too busy for dating, or was that just an excuse?”

“I am busy. But when you meet the right person, you make time. You of all people should know that.”

Hongjoong narrows his eyes almost imperceptibly and grins. “You’re right, we’re all fools for love, aren’t we?”

“It certainly seems that way.”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong continue exchanging semi-polite small talk until the latter’s date tugs him away, mumbling something about needing another drink. 

“I didn’t realize you were so popular,” you say under your breath once the two are out of earshot.

“Yeah, you’re not the only one who hates me,” he mutters. 

“And here I thought we had something special.”

Seonghwa gives you a half-smile. “Sorry to break it to you like this.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t hate you,” you clarify, voice lowered. 

He can’t hide his surprise as his eyes widen. “Wait, really?”

You nod. “I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

He straightens up a bit, stiffening, and you wonder if you’ve said something wrong. “Good to know.”

You each have another drink before the night ends. Champagne is served with dessert and Dr. Harvey proposes a toast to all of his students once everyone’s gathered around the table again. 

You clink your glass to Seonghwa’s and take a sip. The bubbles soothe your throat, making the lies you’ve been telling all night easier to swallow. 

You’re not drunk, you haven’t had that much to drink, but the alcohol is definitely making you feel lighter. People have started filtering out of the ballroom to go to their rooms but a few linger a little longer, taking advantage of the free booze and relaxed atmosphere. Your professor flits between the remaining students, continuing conversations that had been cut short during or before dinner. 

Soft music is playing over the speakers and a few couples are dancing to it. Seonghwa hadn’t said anything about dancing, it probably wasn’t on the actual itinerary, but he draws you out to the floor without warning. You want to protest but his hands are already on your hips and your chest is already pressed to his. You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to him, save bumping into each other in labs and accidentally spilling samples down your coats. Based on the number of times that had happened, you don’t expect Seonghwa to be particularly graceful. But he seems intent on proving you wrong as he leads you to the rhythm. 

“I didn’t know you could dance,” you murmur. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he quips back. 

You quirk an eyebrow. “Yeah? Like what?” 

He seems to think about it for a moment before answering. “I love Star Wars.”

“I already knew that.”

“What?”

“You used to bring a Darth Vader thermos to class. The lid was his helmet.”

“Legos?”

“Lego guy keychain.”

“Animal Crossing?”

“You’d literally play it in class.”

Seonghwa smirks. “Wow.”

“What?”

“I just didn’t realize you were obsessed with me.”

“Wha- I’m not obsessed with you!” you sputter. “I’m just very observant! And you make your interests too obvious.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” he teases, making you roll your eyes. 

He spins you before you get the chance to argue again, extending his arm all the way and then whipping it back so that you’re stumbling into his embrace. 

“My turn, then?” he asks. 

You feel your face scrunch up in confusion before you can stop it. “What do you mean?”

“Your favorite color is pink,” he whispers, as if it’s some kind of secret. “You love The Lord of the Rings. You quote it all the time. You like to cook. You always brought your leftovers for lunch and everyone would ask how you made whatever it was because it smelled so good.”

You’re staring at him now, lips slightly parted in surprise. His gaze flickers down to them and then back up. He smiles. 

“You’re not the only observant one.”

A song is still playing but you’ve stopped dancing. It’s like you’re standing in the eye of a storm, surrounded by music and conversation that blurs and distorts around you. It all sounds muffled, but that might just be the ringing in your ears. You realize what’s about to happen a moment before it does but you’re still unprepared when Seonghwa kisses you. 

His lips are softer than you expected, not that you’ve imagined kissing him before... not that you ever wondered. His arms are still around your waist and he pulls you in closer, deepening the kiss. 

You’re stiff at first, unsure of what to do with your arms or your own lips, but you relax when you feel his tongue swipe at your bottom lip. He makes a contented sort of sound in the back of his throat when you open your mouth for him. It’s just slightly, just enough for him to get a taste, but he seems pleased nonetheless. 

Distant cheering in the background startles the both of you out of your daze, pops the little bubble you’d somehow found yourselves in. It’s then that you remember that you’re in public, and that you probably shouldn’t be sucking each other's faces off in the middle of this very nice ballroom in front of your peers. 

You part, both a little breathless. 

“I hope that was okay,” Seonghwa whispers against your cheek. 

“It was, yeah. It was okay. More than okay.”

“Good. I’m glad.” He grins, the upturn of his cheeks pushing his specs higher on his nose, making glimmers of light from the chandelier dance in the reflection of the glass like stars falling from the sky. One of his hands strays from your waist to take your own.  “Wanna get out of here?”

You’re nodding before your brain can fully process the question. “Yes please.” 

-

The journey back up to your room is a blur. You vaguely register bidding Hongjoong, Dr. Harvey, and a couple of other people whose names had long since slipped your mind goodnight. You’re not sure what you said, Seonghwa probably took the lead. 

Your cheeks are warm with embarrassment as you make your way out of the hall hand in hand. You feel like everyone knows what you’re about to do. And with a kiss like that in a crowded room, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out.

But did it really matter if they knew you were about to get your back blown out? It would only help sell the story to them even more. At least, that’s what you’re telling yourself, still not ready to admit that you’re not playing pretend anymore. 

The clicking of your heels on the marble sounds entirely too loud as you walk through the lobby to the elevator bay. The lights have been dimmed for the night, emulating the darkness outside. Only a few employees remain behind the desks, stationed for any late check-ins. The rest had surely clocked out hours ago when the rush ended.

“Do you have a key?” Seonghwa asks you, eyeing the purse you’d somehow remembered to grab on your way out. 

You did, but, “there’s one in your pocket.”

His hand comes to the front of his pants, feeling for the plastic card. “Right. Sorry.”

He uses the key to activate the elevator and then he uses it again to open the door to your room. The ride up had been silent, and a little awkward, both of you standing on opposite sides of the tiny room, avoiding eye contact.  

You wonder if the energy has shifted, if the moment has passed. Had he suddenly come to his senses? Was he already regretting kissing you? 

You don’t get the chance to ask either of these things, however, because he’s kissing you again as soon as you stumble into the room. It’s dark, so everything is a little uncoordinated, but it almost seems fitting for you and Seonghwa. 

He presses you up against the door, fingers fumbling with the ties on the back of your dress. It’s hard for him to undo them when he can’t see what he’s doing, too occupied with kissing his way down your neck. 

“Fuck this,” he gasps, breaking away. “Lift up your arms.”

You do, gasping as Seonghwa tugs the silk up and over your head. It’s the kind of dress you can’t wear a bra with so you’re left completely bare from the waist up. 

“Fuck me,” he breathes, running his hands over your body. 

“I’m trying.”

A beat lapses before Seonghwa lets out a quiet chuckle. You’re the one to pull him back this time, tugging at his suit jacket as you kiss him in an attempt to get it off his shoulders. 

“Let me, um,” he mumbles against your lips, feeling along the wall of the little hallway you’re standing in for something. “Let me turn on a lamp or something. I want to see you.”

The comment makes you feel shy but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to see him too so you let him go and only laugh a little bit when he trips over his suitcase on the way over to the desk.

“Oh, would you rather have it off?” he asks, noticing the way you’re holding your arms over your chest. 

“No, no, I want to see you too,” you assure him. “I just feel kind of weird being the only one naked.”

“Well that’s an easy fix.”

He makes his way back over to you, loosening his tie as he does. He leaves it hanging around his neck so that you can take it off for him. The satin feels heavy in your hands and you wonder briefly how it would feel tied around your wrists- another time, maybe. 

Seonghwa focuses on unbuttoning his shirt while you lift the tie over his head, hands brushing together as you work in tandem. 

You reach for his belt but he ducks out of your grasp with a grin, shrugging off the button up as he sinks down onto his knees in front of you. You barely register the feeling of his hands on your thighs. You’re too caught up with the way he’s looking up at you. He’s taken his glasses off, though you don’t know when- or where he’s put them for that matter, and is gazing up at you like painted the cosmos themselves. Like he fully intends on worshiping you. 

Park Seonghwa on his knees. What a sight. 

“Can I?” he asks, fingers gently wedging themselves in between your legs to part them. “Please?”

You nod. 

“I need you to say it.”

“You can,” you whisper. 

“I can... what?” Seonghwa presses. “I haven’t even said what it is I want to do to you.”

He’s taunting you now. It’s obvious what he meant when he asked you but he just loves pushing your buttons too much to stop, even when he’s on the verge of begging to taste your pussy. 

“You can do whatever you want to me,” you breathe. 

“Fuck.”

You nearly lose your balance as Seonghwa lifts one of your legs over his shoulder but he plants both of his hands on your ass and pulls you onto his face before that can happen. He groans at the first taste of you, even though it’s over your panties. You’re not sure whether he meant to leave them on to be even more of a tease or if he had just simply forgotten to take them off in the rush to get you on his tongue. 

They’re the seamless kind, the kind that aren’t supposed to show through thin material. You’d chosen to wear them with your dress instead of suffering through the discomfort of a thong all night. The comfort was a benefit. The sheerness was a drawback. You might as well not be wearing anything with how form fitting they were, especially considering how wet you already are.

Your hands are in Seonghwa’s hair and you’re trying not to pull too hard but you have to anchor yourself to something or you’re afraid your knees will buckle. 

“That’s it,” he praises, nose nudging your clit as he licks into you. It’s muffled but you can still make it out, if just barely. “Harder, baby.”

“Are you s-sure?”

He nods and the motion makes you want to cry out. “I won’t break. Promise.”

You decide to trust his word and tug a little harder. He moans and rewards you by pushing his tongue inside of you. He can only go so far with the fabric of your underwear restricting him but it’s enough to get you to whimper his name. 

-

God, you sound so pretty, it’s almost too much for Seonghwa to handle. You taste just as good as he’d always imagined, better even, and he’s losing all sense of control because of it. He can tell he’s making you feel good but this won’t be enough to get you to cum, at least, not as hard as he wants you to before he fucks you... if that’s where the night ends up going. He would be more than happy to have you cum on his tongue, kiss you goodnight, and then fall asleep beside you if that’s what you wanted.   

He manages to get your panties out of the way and to the side with his teeth before diving back in and sucking your clit into his mouth. You make a little surprised sound and melt into him even more. 

He wants to get his fingers inside of you too, but it would be difficult with the way the two of you are positioned so he pulls back and jerks his head in the direction of the bed. You help him to his feet and pull him in for a kiss, moaning at the way you taste on his lips. 

Seonghwa didn’t think it was possible for him to get any harder than he already is but you’re always going and proving him wrong. 

You release him after another moment and fall back onto the mattress, calling to him like a siren. You don’t actually say anything, but you don’t have to. The sight of you on the bed you’ll share with your legs spread and your thighs still glistening with your arousal and his saliva is all it’d take for Seonghwa to throw himself into the sea and drown in you. 

He takes off his slacks finally, just to give himself a bit of relief, and joins you on the bed as fast as humanly possible.

“Can I take these off?” he asks, running his fingers over the soaked patch of your underwear. 

“Please,” you laugh. 

You lift your hips so that he can pull them off of you and then he’s back in between your legs with your thighs clamped around his head so tightly he can’t hear anything aside from your desperate pleas for him not to stop. 

He doesn’t even realize he’s been grinding into the mattress until you’re cumming on his tongue and it takes everything in him to hold back from falling over the edge with you. 

“Hwa...” 

Your voice is so distant he doesn’t hear it until you repeat it. The nickname makes his heart do a little somersault. You’ve never called him that before. It makes him want to smile like an idiot and not fight so hard to suppress those pesky feelings he’s been harboring for you for God knows how long. He wants to kiss you all over and make love to you and give you a little house on his Animal Crossing island even though he’d have to rearrange the entire layout. He actually brought his switch with him, it’s in his bag and he could go get it right now and-

“Hwa!”

Fuck. Right. He pushes the aforementioned feelings down again, clears his throat, and plays it cool. “Hm? What’s up?” His voice cracks on the ‘up’ because of course it does. So much for playing it cool. 

“Can you fuck me, please?” 

He feels like he could fall through the floor. How the fuck could you sound so polite asking to get your back blown out like that? His dick twitches against his thigh and Seonghwa has to take a deep breath to steel himself before answering. 

“You sure you want to keep going? You want this?”

“God, yes,” you whine, leaning forward to try and pull him on top of you. “Are you going to make me beg for it?”

Tempting, but, “no, it’s just... I have to tell you something.”

Jesus, was he really doing this now? It felt like the worst possible moment to bring it up but he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he slept with you without coming clean. He’d already gone further than he probably should have, judgment clouded by lust and alcohol and the lingering scent of your perfume on your neck. 

You face falls, making Seonghwa realize he definitely should have worded it differently. 

“It’s not anything bad! I don’t think...”

“Just tell me,” you say flatly. 

“Um, remember in the car earlier today when we were going through our story, and you couldn’t remember what class I asked you out after?”

“And you yelled at me about it?”

“I didn’t yell at you-” he pauses, and squeezes his eyes shut. This was why he kept going back and forth over what he was about to say, why he was hesitating even now. “I reacted the way I did because... I actually was going to ask you out that night after your pharmacology class got out.”

“What?”

“I was there, waiting outside and I-I chickened out.”

You blink in disbelief. “You don’t... hate me?”

“Hate you? I never hated you!” You give him a look. “There was a bit of... animosity between us, but it was never hate! At least, not for me! Did you hate me?”

It’s your turn to feel exposed. That’s what Seonghwa thinks you feel anyway, from the look on your face. 

“No... I already told you I didn't! It was... what you described.”

Seonghwa narrows his eyes at you. “I don’t believe you.”

“I mean, like you said, it wasn’t hate. I just didn’t particularly like you. And I thought that was a mutual thing.”

“It was!” he agrees quickly. A little too quickly, maybe. “It was. For a while. And then it wasn’t. But I never said anything about it because I kept thinking it was just a phase I was going through. I thought I’d get over it and you’d never have to know.”

“But that never happened?” He shakes his head. “But you built up the courage to show up and ask me out that day. You had to have accepted it then.”

He sighs and rolls onto his back. “I guess I did, but like I said, I was a coward. When I peeked through the window on the door, I saw you laughing and joking around with your friends and I just thought about how it’s never been like that with us. And I thought it’d never work out because we’re... us. We bicker all of the time. We’re always competing. That didn’t magically go away when I realized I had feelings for you. So I thought you deserved someone who you’d actually get along with.” 

“Well, that should have been up to me to decide,” you say. 

“I know,” Seonghwa admits with a groan. Then, he bolts upright. “Wait, would you have said yes?”

“Probably.”

“What do you mean probably?”

“I mean, I would’ve liked to see where it went. I’ve always thought you were attractive.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s one of the things about you that annoyed me.” Seonghwa scoffs. “Just being honest.”

“Well, if I’m being honest,” he counters, propping himself up on his elbow. “I kind of like it when we bicker.”

“Don’t tell me it turns you on.”

“Only sometimes.”

You roll your eyes at him. “You’re sick.”

He shrugs. “It’s only because you’re so hot when you’re mad at me.”

“You must be really horny right now, then,” you mutter. 

“You’re mad at me?” 

“Yes, I’m mad at you! You’ve been keeping your little crush on me a secret all this time! And you chose now to tell me?”

“I know, I’m sorry. I have the worst timing.”

“Understatement of the year.”

Seonghwa figures he deserves that one so he lets it slide even though it chips at his pride. “Wait, so... what does that make us? If we feel the same way, shouldn’t we give it a real shot?”

You groan, putting your hands over your face. “Can we talk about it after you fuck me stupid? I’m still so wet I can’t think about anything else.”

“Oh yeah, right.” He sits up and rolls back on top of you, caging you in. He presses his thigh between your legs so that you can grind on it as he kisses you again. “Are you sure arguing with me doesn’t make you horny?” he teases. “Can feel you throbbing against me, baby.”

“I’m horny because you’re hot and your dick is hard.” 

And because you like him, Seonghwa thinks giddily. 

“We can talk about it later, then,” he surrenders, reaching down to pump himself a few times. “As long as you’ll say you’re mine.”

You tilt your head to the side as you process his request. “Yours?”

“Mine.”

“You want me to be yours?”

“If that’s something you want.”

“It is something I want.”

“Then say it.”

“I’m yours.”

“Fuck,” Seonghwa hisses, grinding against you. He’s not even inside of you yet and he feels like he could explode.

“Please, Hwa,” you whisper and reach down to line him up yourself.

“Wait fuck, I don’t have a condom.”

“I have an IUD. It’s okay,” you assure him.

“Are you sure?”

“As long as you’re clean.”

“I am, I haven’t been with anyone since last year, and I’ve been tested.”

“Me too.”

“Then we’re good?” he asks. 

“We’re good.”

“Perfect. Deep breath, baby.”

Seonghwa’s arms threaten to give out the instant he begins to push himself inside of you. He should have been the one to take a deep breath. He already knows how you taste so he really should have been more prepared for how good you would feel but then again Seonghwa had always been a bit Icarian in nature so his overly ambitious attitude is pretty par for the course in light of everything. 

“Hold on, just... just give me a second,” he stutters.

He swears you clench around him purposefully, playing it off with a meek “sorry, it was an accident” when he glares at you. He wouldn’t put it past you to turn this into a competition too, but he wants to remember your first time together as something special. He wants to be in the moment with you, wants to make you cum over and over and over on his cock until you can’t say anything but his name. He wants to make tonight all about you. He wants to make every night about you, but he’ll have to start with tonight. 

“Are you okay?” you ask him, voice so sweet he almost has to pull out so he doesn’t end what’s barely started. 

“You feel too good,” he admits, dropping his head into the crook of your shoulder. 

“If you cum now, we can just go again, right?”

Right. He forgot about that. He needs to stop thinking with his dick. 

“Yeah, right. Right.”

“Fucked out already?” you tease, brushing his hair out of his eyes. 

“It’s you,” he pants weakly. “How can I not be?”

You open your mouth, probably about to say something smart in reply but he rolls his hips just as you do, pushing himself deeper inside of you. The words seem to dissolve on your tongue, your mouth falling open in a moan instead.

“What was that, baby?” he asks, moving even faster now.

You answer in mumbled nonsense. Seonghwa smirks down at you and leans forward to kiss the point where your neck meets your collarbone. He thinks about what a hickey would look like there, what kind of attention it would draw from everyone tomorrow morning. 

He can’t dwell on it for too long, though, because you’re yanking him back up by his hair, warning him that you’re about to cum.

“Already?”

“It’s you,” you repeat his own words back to him, and he feels his own stomach tense up in anticipation. “You and your perfect dick.”

Okay, so, less romantic than his sentiment but the structure was still there. It made him feel warm inside nonetheless. 

“Can I cum, please? Please?”

“Do you think you can be quiet? We don’t want a noise complaint, remember?” 

“I c-can be quiet.”

You’re lying through your teeth and Seonghwa can tell, he’s known you for so long now that he;’s memorized all of your tells. But he’s right there on the edge too and he wants nothing more than to cum with you.

“I’m close too, baby. Shit, can I cum inside you? Please?”

“God, yes- please, give it to me...”

He kisses you as he cums, managing to swallow some of your moans and cries of his name as you cum even harder than you did the first time. He’s sensitive by the time you finally come down from it but he doesn’t pull out. 

“Can we lay like this for a second?”

You nod easily, letting out a soft laugh when Seonghwa drops his weight on top of you. “I don’t think I can move anyway.”

“Not with that attitude, you can’t.”

“Oh my god, get off of me.”

“Sorry, what was that? Couldn’t hear you.”

“You’re the worst!”

“The worst at what?”

“Everything!”

“You didn’t seem to think that a few minutes ago,” he points out. 

“I’m having post-nut clarity,” you mumble, pushing weakly at his shoulders. 

“I didn’t know that happened to girls,” he muses. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about women,” you snap, still struggling underneath him. “Maybe if you talked to one once and a while you’d be more knowledgeable on the subject.” 

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

“That’s because I- are you getting hard again?” you ask in disbelief. 

“I told you that bickering with you turns me on!”

“You are unbelievable!”

Seonghwa kisses you and rolls his hips experimentally. You moan, relaxing under him immediately. 

“Fuck, that feels good,” you sigh against his lips. 

“Yeah, we’re definitely going to be late to brunch tomorrow.”

happy birthday emily!! i'm so lucky to call you my bestie and i hope you enjoyed your very late present :)

this whole mini trilogy of f2l is just 🧑🏻‍🍳💋

🦋anon here !!! thoughts on your first time riding seokmin? i feel like it’d be half-encouragement from him and half-him losing it over how amazing you feel on top of him ✨

wc: 5.6k

notes: bff2l seokmin x f!reader, established relationship, big dick!seokmin, fingering, piv sex, protected sex, lots of sex and lots of fluff

[part 1] [part 1.5]

"I knew it!"

Soonyoung whacks the table and stands up, eyes glittering as the whole restaurant (and then some) turns to look your way.

"You guys literally wouldn't stop making googly eyes at each other when we all went out last week. And no one believed me!"

"Can you keep it down," you say, desperately trying (and failing) to suppress the bloom of laughter in your chest. "This isn't an episode of Maury."

"Except he is the father, right? Because you call him daddy?" Soonyoung winks devilishly, and Seokmin is all smiles as per usual, except you don't miss how he glances over at you to gauge your reaction first.

"Please shut up before I reveal your laundry list of even more embarrassing...preferences. To put it politely," you retort.

"So I'm right is what you're saying."

And as if he was in a cartoon, Seokmin's eyes widen so big, you think they might just fall out of their sockets.

We'll unpack that later, you tell yourself. You've got enough to handle now—never did you think you'd be so ridiculously happy to reveal to Soonyoung, of all people, the inner workings of your intimate life.

But you are, you're more than happy because you're dating your best friend, your better half, the glowing boy sitting next to you. And even just thinking about what he had said, that he's liked you for years now, sends an unreasonable amount of serotonin to your brain and all the butterflies one could handle everywhere else.

Instead of telling Soonyoung off, you decide to bypass the daddy topic altogether and let your very pointed eye roll do all the talking.

"Fine, fine," he relents, pulling out his phone with a triumphant grin. "Didn't see you as the daddy type anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" you protest. "Please don't tell me you're texting that Maury joke to the group chat."

You notice Seokmin likes squeezing your hand when he laughs. It's yet another thing you're learning about him; it gives you the craziest head rush knowing that even though you thought you knew everything there was to know about your best friend, dating him only drew you in deeper, taught you new things everyday. Like how he only uses the yellow heart emoji for you, or the slow, romantic move of his lips when you kiss in the morning and the rough of his hands up your shirt.

"No, I'm telling Cheol he owes me twenty bucks." He pauses. "But I should, huh?"

--

It's in the parking lot of Seokmin's apartment complex, with his hand on your thigh, when he asks, "Daddy, huh?"

You know he's mostly joking—he still blushes when he sees you in a bra—but for some reason, the whole thing makes your head spin.

"Not really, but I didn't think it was your thing either." The weight of the moment sinks in, the heat of his hand, the hem of your skirt pushed up your legs. "Is it?"

"To be honest," he starts, pausing to look at you, all flushed and pretty—god, he's cute. "It's kinda embarrassing, but—," Seokmin buffers momentarily. "I'm into whatever you're into. I'll do anything."

The instant the words leave his mouth, you're on him.

It's all hands, your sweaty palms over the center console to lean in and kiss him, the desperate fumble of the seatbelt buckle. Hands that you've known your whole life but are something new, reborn in this moment.

"Fuck, fuck," you breathe, and you grab his hand to shove under your skirt and press right against your panties, already warm with arousal. "See how wet I am? Just from your hand on my leg?" Your lips meet his again, tongue and teeth and the moan in the back of his throat as he starts to rub you through your underwear. "I should be the one embarrassed."

His thumb presses against your clit, just enough to make you shudder.

"No, never." He leans in to kiss you but opts to press his forehead against yours instead, and the hand under your skirt stills so you can actually focus on what he's saying. "Can I say this? I want you so bad."

"Then what are we waiting for!"

And you almost close your own damn hand in the car door with excitement.

You wish you could say you acted with more poise on the way to his room (still empty—thank god Soonyoung has a social life), but all you can say is that you pray security never watches the elevator footage.

When you're in front of his apartment door, he drops his keys, and in your shared horny stupor, you both fall to your knees to pick it up, laughing between kisses as you sort through the seemingly endless keyring for the right one.

As soon as the door is closed behind you, Seokmin's leaning you against it, your bottom lip between his teeth in another kiss.

"Are we gonna fuck," you breathe, and your hands search for the hem of his tee to pull it off. "Please tell me we're gonna fuck."

You meet his eyes, tar black with want, then remember your composure.

"Only if you wanna, though. Swear," you add.

Seokmin clasps your hands, still wrapped around the cotton of his shirt, to lift them up to his lips and kiss them, like you're in a fairytale.

"Respectfully, there is nothing I want more than to blow your back out." His eyes widen when he realizes his brain filter has faltered yet again, and he self corrects—"I-I mean, I was planning for it to be more romantic, but—"

"Yes. The answer is yes."

You let your eyes meet once again, and it feels like something is truly unlocked in you.

This time the sex means something, these years and years of puppy love, of trying and failing to love other people because it's always been each other. And you want him, all of him, more than anything else.

The race to take each other's clothes off is neither poetic nor graceful, but there's something about the way your lips can't be apart for more than a second, how your blood feels like it sizzles under your skin at every touch, and the youthful, innocent way you both giggle when you almost fall over trying to step out of your panties—it's neither of your first times, but it sure feels that way, in the best way possible.

The plane of the door is cool against your bare back, and you arch into it as Seokmin's teeth find the soft skin of your neck and trail down to your collarbones.

When your hand wraps around his cock, hot and heavy, he whimpers against your skin. Fuck, it's not the first time you've seen his size (not even close), but you feel your little hand barely come around it and it still makes your knees weak.

"G-gotta prep you," Seokmin breathes. You instinctively hike your thigh up, and he gladly pins it against the door with one big hand and uses his free one to run a careful, reverent finger over the heat of your cunt. "Is this ok?" he asks, eyes glittery under his lashes as he kisses the bloom of a new hickey.

"Yeah, fuck, 's more than ok." you say it so easily, but the mere idea of having him finally inside you actually makes your pussy ache from being so turned on. Luckily, he's not about to deprive you. The pads of his fingers are so big, so rough, against your sensitive skin, and you cry out when he presses a careful digit to your clit.

He's not brave enough to say it now, but you can tell he loves how easy, fragile you become even under the simplest of touches. How his favorite person, strong and confident, can be reduced to this. And he reveres, drinks in the sight of you, heavy-lidded and debauched against his front door, desperately holding his forearm as he pushes just a single finger into your heat.

"Oh, god," you pant, trying to anchor yourself to jacking your boyfriend off. It's hard, given how his hand just feels so, so much better than any toy you have in your bedside drawer, but the way you've also got him under your spell is nothing short of intoxicating.

You watch, almost with an academic intensity, as his jaw just falls open when you run your thumb over a vein on the underside of his cock, fucking him with your fist just as he likes.

No, it hasn't been long since you confessed to him—yeah, his dick was also in your hand even then (but you never were much of a planner)—but you had tried to make up for lost time since.

You had, as Soonyoung so horribly liked to put it, gone to third base (never mind that he knew nothing else about baseball and thought there were more than three bases), but nothing further.

There's territory you had never dared to tread, even as best friends, but as you watch him melt into yet another kiss and feel the race of his heartbeat under the broad, tanned plane of his chest, secrets only yours to keep, you realize there's nowhere you'd rather be.

He pushes a second digit into you, and, regrettably, you're already almost over the edge. Who can blame you? Once he learned what you liked, he had no difficulty in spoiling you—you could almost say he was addicted to getting you off, the way he loved you. He curls his fingers deep inside you, right against your g-spot, and a white hot bolt of pleasure races up your spine.

(You remember the first time you came on his hand. He sucked on your clit and spread you open with just two fingers, and you came so hard you cried. He kissed all the tears from your cheeks, and after double, triple, and quadruple checking you were fine, he buried his head in your cunt to make you cry all over again.)

"N-need three," you gasp, tightening your hold on his wrist. You can swear his dick jumps a mile in the grip of your other hand, and you release it so he doesn't cum too quickly. "Gotta, gotta make sure you fit in my tiny cunt, huh?"

Seokmin nods, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, and gladly obliges, feeling you stretch around his three fingers. Judging by the way he sucks in a deep breath, sounding somewhere between a whine and a wounded noise, you know he's imagining the hug of your pussy around his cock, just how goddamn tight and slutty you'll really be just for him.

God, three fingers barely fit, but as he pushes past the first knuckle, the pressure in your belly coils more tightly than you could ever have imagined.

Helplessly, you watch the muscles on his forearm shift as he continues fucking you open on his hand.

You remember the summer you noticed how strong he had gotten. He was a junior lifeguard, and your days were filled with the endless August sun and his suntanned figure, painted crimson by the sunset with a surfboard on his shoulder.

That first night, the minute he dropped you off at your place, you had snaked a guilty hand down your bikini, playing with your clit and imagining it was him splitting you open against that lifeguard tower.

"God, fuck, how are you so fucking tight?" he murmurs under his breath. Hearing his voice drop like that makes you clench hard, and as the heel of his palm crashes into your clit once again, you cum so hard, your knees really do buckle.

He's got you, pulling you flush to his body with a strong arm around the small of your back as you catch your breath.

"Careful—did too good of a job, huh?" he laughs, sunshine smile making his cheeks glow.

He is so goddamn cute, but being pressed against his bare chest is not helping the situation downstairs, and instead of kissing his nose like the romantic in you wants to, you lean into him so that he can feel how hard your nipples are, how desperate you really are. And then you kiss his nose (impulse control is hard!).

"You did so, so good," you say, trailing slow, wet kisses to his cheek, his jaw, his earlobe. Your hand finds his weeping cock again, and you can hear him swallow hard as you start playing with him again. "I need you, Seok, 'm so ready for you."

"H-how do you want me?" Seokmin asks breathlessly. "I'll do it all, fuck, whatever you want."

"You're lucky I'm feeling nice right now." You kiss his jaw again, and you absolutely delight in how quickly he tips his chin up so you can better access him. You adore that about him, how vulnerable and trusting he is around you. His love is open-hearted, and you never, ever want to take that for granted. "On the bed, preferably. I want our first time to be on a flat surface."

"Door's not flat enough?" he laughs, but he starts walking backwards, arms still wrapped tight around your middle. He lets you guide him all the way to the bedroom, which should have been an easy task if not for Seokmin almost tripping over air every three steps in his excitement. "Could be sexy?" He wiggles his eyebrows, and you're too horny to stop yourself from laughing in the absolutely lovesick way you tend to laugh nowadays.

"Can't ride you standing up, can I?"

And then Seokmin bites his lip to stifle what could possibly be the most embarrassing moan in the world before you push him so the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed.

"Come on, now," you tease. Watching him scramble back to lay against the pillows, monster cock slapping his washboard abs, feels like a borderline crime, but it's so hot in that undeniably Seokmin way. You can't possibly describe it with any other words.

"Hold on," he says, opening one of the bedside drawers. He fumbles around for a beat, the weak lamp not helping much, and procures a shiny foil-wrapped condom. "Got the one that's supposed to make the girl feel good."

"Oh my god." You watch as your stupidly hot boyfriend tears the thing open with his teeth, grinning all the while, and you feel your heart actually swell to an inhumane size. Wonderful, kind Seokmin, who has the biggest goddamn dick you've ever seen and still gets the condom that would make you feel good, just in case.

"If I neigh, will you laugh?" Seokmin asks, completely serious as he rolls the condom onto his dick. It takes you completely by surprise, and he doesn't even need to say anything else for you to laugh, a full body one. He laughs too, and you know he's rambling because that's what he does when he has the jitters, which you somehow have too.

And when the silence settles, it's just you and him and the dew of the lamplight. He admires you as you stand by the bedside, quietly as to not make you feel rushed. There's no reason why either of you should be anything but comfortable (you've seen him with rivers of snot running down his face—on multiple occasions, but the worst was when he didn't get the lead role in the school musical senior year. And you two don't even talk about the time he walked in on you, butt-naked, washing your panties in his bathroom sink when your period took you by surprise. Like a good best friend, he drove to the drugstore to buy you pads. Now there's always a box in his bathroom drawer, like an unsaid kindness).

You straddle him, cunt hot and slick over his abs as you settle onto your thighs, and you feel yet another rush overtake you. Somehow, somewhere inside the pit of your chest, you're a bit nervous.

Even now, when he's sucking the breath out of your lungs in another searing kiss, you feel this overwhelming need to be perfect for him. More than a best friend.

"Sorry, I—," you pause to peck the corner of his smile, feeling the words spin around in your brain like it's a washing machine. "Are we doing this?"

"Do you want to?" His hands run up and down your sides, comfortingly. "We don't have to."

"No, I really, really want to." And it's hard to say it, because you've always been the more confident half, but you do. "I just wanna do it right."

"Baby." The squeeze of your hands again. "You could never do it wrong. Ever."

The earnest way he looks at you makes all of the confidence flood back into your body, and you're suddenly overcome with all the affection your body can handle.

That, and he tenses his abs as he settles deeper onto the bed, and you feel it on your clit, reminding you that you are, in fact, so turned on you might actually die.

Get out of your head and fuck your best friend, you tell yourself, and you wonder why you were so silly for worrying earlier.

"Ready?" Seokmin asks with a gentle tap of the soft flesh at your hips.

"You should be asking yourself that," you laugh, fully recovered and now admiring the mess you've made out of Seokmin. His lips are swollen and glossy, and there's nothing, absolutely nothing, you want to do more than to ruin him.

"That's my girl," he says warmly. "So pretty when you laugh."

"Your girl, huh?" You begin rocking your hips back and forth, letting his dick slide between your pussy lips. "Mmm, I like the sound of that."

You watch his eyes flutter shut as he slowly exhales, finally feeling the relief you're sure he was so desperately craving. "Y-yeah, fuck. I'll call you whatever you want."

"Whatever I want? Oh, you better be careful giving me that kind of power." You grin down at Seokmin, who is furrowing his brow perhaps in the cutest way you've seen from him yet.

You can tell he's trying his best to hold back—his hands rest firm on your hips, and he can very well grind you on his cock himself. You feel the latex slide over the hood of your clit as you sway oh so slowly over him, watching every little muscle in his face as his lip quivers with another broken moan.

"God, you're so hot," he whispers. "Can't believe we're doing this. 'M so lucky."

"Please shut up." You lean down to peck him and are met with the tiniest, softest little kisses all over your lips and your chin because he can't be bothered to aim when the love of his life is about to sit on his dick for the first time. "You're gonna make me like you more."

"That's a good thing, right?"

Deciding to put him out of his misery, you reach behind you to position his dick at your entrance. It's already so, so sensitive from all the foreplay that even just feeling the pressure of it against your skin has you curling your toes in anticipation.

You sink down on him for what feels like a fraction of a millimeter, and already you know he's big big in you. You suck in a deep breath, giving yourself a beat to adjust as your lungs fill and your cunt clenches so hard, other muscles down there feel compromised.

With both of your hands against his chest, hair mussed and cheeks flushed, you look so much more beautiful than Seokmin could ever dream of, but he's too focused on how you're biting your cheek and gasping at how he just stuffs you so, so fucking full.

"A-am I too big? We can, like, stop," he stammers. "Had no idea your pussy's so fucking tiny, holy shit."

Yeah, maybe it's been a while since you've been fucked by a non-silicone dick (hard to sleep with other men when you've wanted only one for god knows how long). But you know the drill, and you bob, albeit a little noncommittally, up and down, and fuck his cockhead in and out of you. The first time's always a stretch, the second time a little less so, and by the third, you're already fuzzy-brained.

"I-I'm serious," Seokmin babbles, obviously not in control of his dick as you feel it pulse inside of you.

"Shhshhshh—" you gently cover his mouth with one hand to prevent any more of his worrying. "Look at what you do to me," you say, voice barely above a whisper, as you splay out your other hand over your stomach. And then you sink down as far as you can on him, slowly, torturously, and you see his eyes widen as the back of your hand swells with how you give way for his cockhead and bulge out with his size.

"Mmph—shit," Seokmin whimpers, still muffled by your hand. "Holy."

He watches as his cockhead disappears over and over again into the heat of your cunt, god, he can hear Soonyoung's voice in his head (it's saying, just the tip, just the tip, in that infuriatingly endearing middle-school cadence), but he had no idea it would look and feel so good.

"You're perfect, so fucking perfect. So good at riding me," he manages, fingernails leaving crescents in your sides with how he's clinging to you.

With every bounce of your hips, you start to fall into a comfortable rhythm. You're sinking deeper and deeper onto him, and although it's not much, you're hell-bent on fucking the shape of his dick into you until he can fit all the way, till he can see you take all of him, feel you flush against him.

"Fuck, no wonder your girlfriends always wanted to stay the night, cock's so fucking good," you sigh, already feeling an orgasm building up in your tummy.

"Jealous?" You pout down at him in reply. "You really shouldn't be."

He experimentally rocks his hips up, meeting you in the middle so you don't have to do all the work, and his cockhead drags against you in a way that rips some strangled, pornstar mewl from your chest and makes your thighs positively shake around him.

"Was thinking about you the whole time," Seokmin finishes, brows knit together as you squeeze so tight around him, his words going right to your cunt as you process what he just said.

You imagine a pretty girl's lips wrapped around Seokmin's cock, all the while he's thinking about you taking him down your throat, cum running down your chin. No wonder when it actually happened last week, he looked at you like you had walked straight out of a dream.

"Every time?"

He nods and rocks up again, and you feel like an organ will explode inside you. Maybe it will, given how you've got that tummy bulge you've only dreamed of in your horniest fantasies.

"S-Seok," you breathe, tears pooling at your lashline as he holds you still so he can fuck the few inches of cock into you that you've taken so far. "A-ahh, fuck, oh, oh my god."

"Feels good? Let me take care of you, angel? Please?"

It feels like a rhetorical question given how he's already started to bounce you up and down like a fleshlight, but you're not coherent enough to even think about the answer pouring out of your mouth, more, m-more, deeper, please, please, god please. You look down as he enters you again, and you see just how, even though you haven't taken him all the way yet, you've creamed his cock so fucking good, it should be on the front page of Pornhub.

It's then that you realize it's not just a want for him to split you open, it's a need.

Partially because it's been the subject of half of your teenage dreams, partially because you realize you are out of practice and your poor legs may just give out.

Seokmin hesitates briefly, likely (validly) concerned he's going to break you if he puts his whole cock in you.

"Remember how you said you wanted to break my back?" you say in your most level, non-fucked out voice. "Like twenty minutes ago."

"Respectfully," he adds. He smiles, but his jaw is clenched with the feeling of your heat around him.

"Well. I need you to make good on that promise." You sink down on him as far as you can go, because if you go any further, you're convinced all the muscles in your thighs will actually liquefy. "N-need your help, baby."

It seems like that's all he needs to hear, because he's hoisting you off his body as gently as he can and onto your back, not forgetting the pillow under your hips (thoughtful as ever).

And it's like this, with your hands laced with his above your head, eyes locked, and lips so close you're breathing the same breaths, that he fucks into you, deep, all the way.

He bottoms out in you, slowly, carefully, and it feels like fireworks go off in your body as the stretch turns to liquid pleasure, the mind-numbing kind you've been craving.

"F-fuck..." you whine, near-drooling already.

"Everything okay so far?"

You squeeze his hands in reply and he squeezes back, like he always does. You know Seokmin said he wished things were more romantic, but you can't imagine this being any more perfect.

Now, pinned under Seokmin's gaze, you feel swallowed whole by years and years of caged up affection.

He's let it leak, the glimmers of just how fucking much he loves you, needs you.

The long, lingering gazes (he was never subtle, and he's more shameless about it now that you've started dating), and you hate to admit it, but he's the first thing you look for in any room. How it's never just one orgasm with him, how he can spend hours with his hand under the blanket, between your thighs as you both ignore yet another movie.

He still pretends flowers he picks one by one at the farmers market are premade bouquets.

And now, Seokmin's holding your hands as he stretches your cunt like a pornstar, and you're in love with him.

When you smile at him, his already slow pace falters, and he buries his head in the space between your neck and your shoulder.

"Sorry," he laughs quietly, pressing a wet kiss to your bare skin. "Get embarrassed sometimes around you. Can you believe it? I still do."

"No reason to. You're doing so good," you reply, a bit strangled because he shifts his hips further up into you so his cockhead's snug against your g-spot. "God, Seok, you're so fucking hot. We've been best friends half my life and I haven't told you that nearly enough."

You can feel his face heat up, but he doesn't relent. "God, I love you." he says, pressing another kiss to your neck, right at your pulse point so you keen right into him. "Can I fuck you? Better than my other girlfriends?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

This time, he fucks you. For real.

His hips crash into the back of your thighs so hard, you move up the mattress, and he abandons the whole hand-holding thing to instead wrap his arms around your torso, pressing your chests flush and connecting your bodies—skin to skin, heart to heart, his forehead against yours.

"Mmmh, god, fuck, so fucking big," you drawl, jaw hanging open as you slur your words. "A-ah, fucking me so good, baby."

Seokmin watches you, crowned by his bedsheets, as you beg for him harder, deeper—seeing you so ready and desperate for him fills him with a possessiveness he's never experienced before.

And this time it's his turn to smile, but he can't smile at you like that. Not when he's fucking you so good, you're ruined for anyone else.

"You like it like this, huh?" he asks. "Like feeling me split your perfect fucking pussy open? Better than your other boyfriends, huh?"

You nod, babbling yes, yes, yes over again. Something about how low and gravelly his voice gets in your ear, how he asks you if he's pleasing you in the most sincere voice as he slams into you hard enough to bruise, is sending you spiraling into a high you don't think your body is ready to handle yet.

"Seok, baby, tell me how good I'm taking you," you whine, toes curling and thighs shaking as they're wrapped around him. Your cunt is squeezing around him so hard, you're surprised he's able to still move. "Wanna hear it from you."

"S-so good, 's like you're made for me." Seokmin's delirious with pleasure, licking your neck and trailing open mouth kisses wherever he can. "Your perfect face and your perfect cunt, everything." His hips stutter inside you, god, you're so high, you're just making noises at this point.

When he bottoms out fully one more time, your orgasm hits you before you even comprehend it coming, and you cry out so loudly, it feels like your soul leaves your body. Your back arches off the bed, and you tremble limply in Seokmin's arms.

He moans, full bodied and low, only seconds after—shit, get so tight when you cum—when he cums in the condom, and your mind fogs with the brief thought of him pumping all that cum into your kitty and knocking you up. Maybe he'd eat you out afterward too, but the thought is making you horny for an experience you cannot physically handle right now.

"Oh my god," you croak. You blink dumbly up at your boyfriend, who now hovers over you, equally as spent and lovestruck. "Why the fuck didn't we do this sooner?"

"They say the best things are worth waiting for," he replies, laughing softly as he tucks a piece of sweaty hair behind your ear. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to how beautiful you are in these moments, dazed and radiant and covered in him. "That was okay, right? As good as you expected?"

"Better. And I have a pretty good imagination." Your lips feel like they're moving through quicksand and your eyelids heavy, but you know it's the post-orgasm haze you're wading through. And you don't even want to think about how your entire lower body will feel in approximately thirty minutes. "I think you fucked the spirit out of my body. It's a miracle I'm talking to you right now."

You hear a dull smack in your vicinity and a quiet whoops, and you hope it's not the tied-off condom missing the trash can (it is. He has terrible aim.)

But you let him sidle next to you in bed and swallow you up in his big, warm arms. "Miracle, huh? Guess I'm pretty lucky then."

"You're not supposed to be so sweet right now, you know. It's hurting my feelings," you jokingly protest, grinning when he kisses your nose.

"So you don't want me to order tacos? For after your nap?"

And of course both of those things sound perfect, because you forget Seokmin knows you inside and out (in more than one way now, you suppose), and he's spent more than one evening waking you up after you crash on his couch with a post-nap snack.

"Hmm.. But a nap is tempting...So are tacos." You settle into his warmth, enjoying the wonderful yet terrifying feeling of being so known. But you wouldn't have it any other way. "Reparations for you actually breaking my back."

"Wait. Did I actually?"

"No, god no," you laugh. "Just maybe my legs and also my pussy."

"Oh, good." He smiles wide, the kind where his whole face scrunches up in joy. "Then I have permission to carry you around for the next 24 hours?"

"I won't stop you," you say, mid-yawn. "Does Soonyoung know I'm over? Should we at least try to make it look like we didn't almost rail on his front door?"

"He probably already knows," Seokmin replies. "He told me to do the pillow thing when you were in the restaurant bathroom."

"Gross. But good. It worked." You shut your eyes tight. "God, I can't believe they all know about us now. I feel so seen. So perceived. Everyone will know I was bullshitting when I said there was no way I had feelings for you."

"Is that a bad thing? Do you wish we kept it a secret?"

You bury your face into the side of his body and wail, "No. That's the worst thing about it. That's how much I like you."

It's true—even you, self-proclaimed mystery, wants everyone in the world to know you're dating Lee Seokmin.

He kisses your forehead, more tenderly than you think you deserve.

"Take your nap. Wouldn't want you to wake up to cold nachos."

"Oh, you're ordering nachos too? I love you. I love you so fucking much."

He laughs because he knows you're probably delirious from how you got your world rocked less than half an hour ago, but you mean it. You mean it with your whole fucking chest, the one presently covered in spit and sweat and hickeys, and as he squeezes your hand one last time, you think about how Seokmin said he was the lucky one between the two of you.

No, there's no way. Not when you're lying in the arms of someone who looks like they've been carved out of marble, who just happens to know every single one of your phone numbers and your drive-thru orders and the answers to your online banking security questions.

"I know you're still awake," Seokmin chides softly, pressing the furrow between your brows (it's your thinking face).

"Fine. But I really do love you, okay?"

"Love you more."

You'd fight him on this one too, but you're too happy to say another word.

the intricacies of falling in love, and facing the reality of life 🥹💖

title: the times we couldn't say goodbye (the times i loved you most)

pairing: hoshi x gn!reader

wc: 2.2k

notes: fantasy!au, wizard hoshi!au, established relationship, implied friends to lovers, fluff, (pretty significant) angst, suggestive content but nothing explicit, small blood mention, special thanks to @soonsluv and @crimsoncauldron for helping me with edits!

for @neonun-au

i.

It’s in the garden behind the inn where you realize you're really in love with Soonyoung.

He’s eighteen, radiant with the glow of youth and the summer sun, long legs askew underneath the now sprawling wisteria you planted with him as a child. The daylight is emerald through the foliage, and you watch it coalesce in his butterscotch eyes, fall into the gentle slope of his nose.

Your bones feel warm and heavy with happiness. Soonyoung’s head rests in your lap, and he meets your gaze with his usual affection, the overabundant kind that feels like you can hold in your hands with how tangible it is.

“When will you come back?” you ask.

He takes a long pause. It worries you because Soonyoung’s never the type to pause. He goes, he goes and keeps going until he can’t anymore. You're surprised he's stayed so long in one place—here.

"I don't know." He laughs blithely and finds your hand so he can lace his fingers with yours. "I haven't thought that far ahead," he admits.

Then he does that insufferable, maddening thing where he trails little kisses down the span of your wrist, up your forearm, across the back of your hand, his touch featherlight, yet deliberate. You wonder if he's mapping your skin as to not forget you when he leaves.

"All I know is that I need to be there."

You don't need to follow his gaze to know where he's looking—the tall silvery spires past the village, an imposing silhouette of the royal castle of the kingdom you live in.

He doesn't say that people usually don't come back when they leave for the city. You already know that one, too.

And, in turn, you stay quiet. You've learned that words aren't enough to change his mind, which, funnily enough, is why you like him so much.

Instead, you let the swell of love wash over you, a heady, slow rush that spreads over your skin like sun (yet, tender like a bruise) as you let yourself admire him.

You want to love him without expectation, without pretense. But it's hard to separate expectation from love, even for someone like you, whose job it is to watch people come and go.

Because as weighty as Soonyoung's love can be, you know how hard it is to keep. And so you sit, limbs tangled, watching the firebugs pulse with their transient June light, knowing this moment, too, will pass.

You feel the warmth of Soonyoung's laughter settle over you, as certain and familiar as ever. You allow his wandering hands as they press little lights into your skin, and let the heat of his skin play back on yours.

With him, there's never been a forever and always. You chase the now, but in the now, you have him and his lips and his racing heartbeat all to yourself.

And some young, foolish part of you thinks it's a moment you can bottle up and keep. That the closer you hold it to your heart, the more likely he is to stay.

ii.

The first time you learned Soonyoung could use magic, you were thirteen.

You had been demonstrating a perfect cartwheel to him—on the bartop inside the inn, of course. And, in your vain attempt to avoid the smattering of ale steins and assorted weapons in your way, you had careened off the counter and given yourself a nasty scrape on the jagged floorboards.

You had both laughed until you cried, and then when Soonyoung realized you were actually crying, he rushed over with a heartrending urgency.

"S'fine," you mumbled, your adolescent body feeling all too big, too awkward under his gaze.

He offered his hand to help, and being the stubborn kid you were, you denied him. And he whined and fussed until you finally let him kneel down and look at the thin gash, now weeping blood.

You can't even describe what happened next. The patient hover of his usually quick hands over your skin, then an indescribable warmth all over.

And then your knee was healed.

Over the next few years, you watched Soonyoung experiment with his powers.

He'd call your name on his way back from the market, waving his free hand around while balancing a bag of produce in the cradle of his other arm.

"Watch this!" And then a vortex of apples would emerge from the burlap, first a magnificent crimson swirl, and then their eventual pathetic scatter over the grass in front of the inn.

"Almost there," he'd mutter, as you both gather the fruits in your arms, everything and everyone feeling a bit bruised.

Sometimes you'd watch the gap underneath his door intermittently light up as you cleaned the inn for the night. You pictured his cute frown, nose scrunched up as he flexed his palm. Orange, black, orange, black, orange, the weak flicker of the flame birthed from his skin.

You wouldn't say Soonyoung was a good magician. But he certainly was a tenuous one with a considerable stroke of luck.

Before he left, he would show you little tricks.

"I’m paying my rent," he'd harumph, staring intently at the unbaked pie you left on the counter, as if willing it to cook itself. "With my valuable labor."

"You better pay faster." You cast a sidelong glance at the disgruntled mercenary in the corner of the dining room.

"Don't worry about Jihoon. He's my friend." And then another hopelessly determined glare at the innocent, perfectly latticed pie.

Soonyoung's eventual contribution was a quick brûlée over the top after cajoling the poor starving warrior, entertaining him with the surprisingly effective party trick of producing a real bit of fool's gold behind his ear. ("See? We're friends!" he'd tell you.)

"Can these hands at least chop some wood?" you'd tease. They fit so perfectly in your own, something you learned you could, no, would miss.

"Yes," he'd start. "But they can also do this!" And then their warm descent on your sides, tickling you until you collapsed right into him, letting him drink up the laughter right from your lips.

When you first met Soonyoung, he was a small, impish little thing who had turned up at the front door of the inn—on an adventure, he said.

He stayed ever since, learning to run the inn with you.

But you'd see the glow of his eyes as yet another traveler regaled him with tales of an expedition in kingdoms past. You knew you couldn't tie him here. You felt lucky to even have the luxury to hold him as you slept, to have him tie your apron behind your back every day and to dance with you and the broom as you swept the floor ("I think I prefer the broom," you'd say, just to see him pout. And like clockwork, he would, and you'd kiss him, and kiss and kiss and kiss).

Now, he packs his bags to study magic in the royal city.

You feel the heavy sway of your heart in the pit of your chest. You've watched many adventurers go, but for some reason, you could never bring yourself to prepare for this moment.

He sits amidst a small disaster in your shared room. "Don't forget your lucky tiger," you remind him, leaning against the doorframe. It's a shitty, dilapidated little thing you sewed together for one of his birthdays. But he kept it, and for someone who loses a lot of things, that certainly was a special feat.

"How could I?" He holds an offended hand to his chest and kisses the bundle of threads, and you feel like bursting into a million tears.

He blows you a kiss at the doorstep.

"Not a real one, because that's for when I come back," he says.

How soon is when? You want to ask. You think of that heat-stained afternoon in the garden, where you crossed hands and hearts but your mind was a million miles away. I don't know was a hell of an answer to hold onto, but he didn't give you much of an option.

Soonyoung lingers at the doorstep. You wonder if he expects you to find another reason to stop him.

Instead, you watch him disappear down the sandy bend of the road, going, going, gone. The lonely dance of the innkeeper, the choreographed parting you had grown accustomed to.

Your life has been a series of goodbyes, but this one, just this once, dies on your tongue.

iii.

It's at the end of a grueling, mind-numbing day—every spring, the traveling mercenaries migrate to the royal kingdom, your small inn a pit stop on the way—when you see Soonyoung for the first time in years.

You're at the faraway market, the one in the royal city, to pick up supplies.

He's taller, broader. He walks with a certainty in his step, one that's forgotten when he runs to you with abandon.

Soonyoung sweeps you up, as easily as ever, hands firm around your waist to lift you so your faces are level. He's stronger, too.

"Soonyoung," you breathe, giddy. His lips find your neck; he's kissing, giggling, breathing you back in. "What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to ask you the same." He grins, all lopsided and toothy, and your heart balloons to some inhuman size. "I live here, you know."

"But your letters—thought the magic school wouldn't let you leave."

"I snuck out," he says, pressing his forehead to yours. "Wanted to come home. See you."

Home. Home. You roll the word around in your head. Soonyoung never called the inn home; he always wanted to be everywhere at once, and yet something kept him there. The thought that it was you presses against your ribs, a crushing swell of guilt and joy all in one.

"Watch," he says, still as exuberant as ever. And even before you roll your eyes, he's insistent—"I'm good now, I promise!"

Protection magic, he calls it. A force field. He's come a long way from a flame barely able to cook an egg.

"It's like you're untouchable," you laugh, pressing the flat of your palm over the shimmering plane before Soonyoung's hand, feeling it pulse against you like a magnet.

"Almost." And then the pressure's gone, replaced by the warm callouses of his skin on yours as the magic dissipates. "Never for you."

And again, you think about how uncanny it is that you and Soonyoung fell in love—the dutiful innkeeper and the restless adventurer.

Who, but you, would he ever let touch him?

It's then you remember how Soonyoung's hand has always fit perfectly in yours.

—

Soonyoung accompanies you back to the inn—"They won't miss me for a night," he had said.

And so you're back in the garden, sitting shoulder to shoulder under the ivy and magnolias.

Although it's been years, his presence grounds you. Everything from the way he squeezes your hand when he talks, the glimmer in his eyes, how he steals a kiss mid-conversation brings you back to when you fell in love all those years ago.

But nothing could have prepared you for when Soonyoung asks you to live with him in the royal city.

He had been asked to join the mages' court at the palace, a permanent, demanding position. That was the real reason he wanted to see you, he tells you.

"Let Mingyu take over. You know he wants to!" Soonyoung laughs like it's a joke. "Come, make a new home with me. I'll cook the pies. The right way, I promise." His smile is dazzling and heartbreaking at the same time.

You replay the moment he told you he returned because he wanted to come home—to you.

How could you tell him that your real home was here, at the inn? In the roots of the wisteria, in the battered floorboards of the dining room, in the bag of produce you get from the market every morning?

"I—" you start. It tumbles out of your mouth, shredded and broken. "I can't. You know I can't."

He's silent. You think it's because he expected this outcome, that it couldn't be any other way, that you both knew this, innately, the night he first told you he was leaving.

You don't look at each other.

The moon is violet. The sky is black. There are no stars tonight.

And as if piercing a great big divide, he reaches for your hand, the habit now a lifeline as the weight of the moment settles into you.

"But I’ll have you for tonight?" Soonyoung turns to look at you. His eyes are shimmery, earnest.

If you could silence the roar in your head, in your chest, you would instead feel the pressure of an invisible clock, counting the seconds you have left together. You both know you're on borrowed time.

"Soonyoung." Your face is so hot, you aren't sure if you're crying or not. "You'll have me for as long as you want me."

"Silly," he murmurs. "I'll always want you." Your noses are touching; he holds your gaze so you don't see the sadness in his smile. But you already know what he's feeling, the heavy twist of acceptance settling in the both of your stomachs.

It's always been this way with you two—you don't have to see him to know his heart.

And maybe it's this knowledge that guides your hands, your lips, when you trace him into memory on this starless night.

It's another postponed goodbye, you know it is, a prolonged farewell you began years ago but could not bring yourself to end.

You go through the motions in your head, the phantom parting, your eventual final meeting.

But it's something you both accept. Tonight is just another push of the hands of the clock. Another stolen moment.

When Soonyoung kisses your lips with the tenderness of all the years he's loved you, your heart falls right into his hands.

What you have with him isn't forever, but it's something.

This is a goodbye you're willing to wait for.

just a cute lil push-and-pull fluff 🤣

⌗ ⸰ ₊⠀ WARM ME UP !

the one where you’re on your third date with seokmin.

pairing: seokmin x reader

word count: 0.8k

rating: g

content: fluff, (kinda) established relationship au

warning/s: none

Seokmin watches you as you stare outside the window of the coffee shop, arms folded on the table while he takes small sips of his drink.

The both of you haven’t uttered a word again after laughing about a story he shared during his high school life, and instead of feeling awkward or the need to start another conversation once more, he’s actually contented to just sit there in silence with you—a pleasing realization given the fact that this has only been your third date together—as there’s always a small part of him that thinks that in order to keep having a good time with someone, he also needs to make a constant effort of being funny and interesting.

“Cold?” he asks when he sees you clutch the mug you’re holding tighter; the beverage isn’t as hot as before, but it still gives you enough warmth that’ll keep your palms from freezing due to the a/c and the harsh rain happening outdoors.

You smile. “A little. You?”

“Not too much.” He then gestures to his jacket that’s hanging on the chair beside him. “You wanna borrow this?”

“No, I’m okay. You might get cold yourself later on.”

“Don’t worry. I can just steal it back from you if I do.”

You laugh at the joke, your smile even getting wider at the endearing expression etching on Seokmin’s face as he hands you his jacket. You think that he just took pride in making you laugh. “Thanks.”

The moment you wear the jacket, you get a whiff of his familiar scent, something that makes your heart flutter and your body to warm up faster than it should; you pull the material over and closer against you—securing it over your arms and shoulders—and take another subtle inhale just to feed your head the illusion that Seokmin is much closer than he really is at this second.

You’re usually not this shy and hesitant to the guys you’ve dated before, but you guess that since there’s this mix of innocence and sincerity when it comes to his gestures towards you, you naturally find yourself doing the same, wanting to treat him with the same gentleness and care that he’s showing you whenever you meet.

“So,” he suddenly prompts once you’re done fixing the jacket on you, “do you think you’ll want to see me again for a fourth date?”

You raise an eyebrow, slightly leaning to where he’s sat. “Well, aren’t you a little impatient to ask me that already?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, you only ask me that via text when we get home.”

“Yeah, because I’m saving myself the heartbreak if ever your expression already says ‘hell no’.”

You chuckle at his ridiculousness. “And are you confident that me having an expression that already says ‘hell no’ wouldn’t be the case right now?”

“Not sure. Though I have a feeling that the universe will be good to me today.”

“You’re a dork, Seokmin.”

“Am I a dork that you’ll be having a fourth date with at least?”

Before you can answer, a gust of wind from the A/C blows towards your table and you immediately notice Seokmin suppressing a shiver, instead huddling his limbs together to fight off the sudden wave of coldness seeping through his clothes.

You feel guilty for wearing the garment that’s supposed to keep him warm, and with the thought of helping him and at the same time feeding into your desires, you let go of your mug and presented a palm to him.

His eyes immediately flash to it. “What?”

“Give me your hand.”

“Why?”

You chuckle at the uncertainty in his voice. “Because I’m trying to hold it to keep you a bit warm too.”

He grins. “That’s sweet.”

“Are you letting me do it or not?”

With that, he places his hand over yours though turns it so that it appears he’s the one who’s actually holding it. More warmth explodes inside your system and you hide it with a glance to the window again, Seokmin laughing to himself at the rather cute action.

“Should I take this as a yes?” he asks, thumb rubbing on the back of your palm.

“A yes to what?”

“To the fourth date, of course.”

You roll your eyes and smile at yours and his hands on each other. “I don’t know. I think I need to think about it more,” you tease.

He fakes a scowl and you tug his hand to tease him back, in which Seokmin just pulls it back and squeezes it with the right amount of tightness to prevent you from jokingly taking it away again.

“You’re mean,” he mutters.

You grin, reaching for your drink to take a sip before staring outside like earlier, only this time with the kind of proximity you—and undoubtedly Seokmin—want with your date.

thank you for reading ! feedback is always appreciated ☻

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*insert* YES, SIT ON IT!

like a chair

member | jeonghan x f reader genre | smut word count | 1.4k synopsis | when jeonghan tells you to sit, you sit. smut warnings | descriptions of female anatomy, face sitting, oral (reader receiving), hair pulling (jh receiving), overstimulation (both receiving), pet names (princess, baby), jeonghan is a dirty little masochist and he cums in his pants notes | jeonghan pussy eater agenda everyone say amen. tagging @duhnova because they'd be mad at me if i didn't

there’s a muffled noise between your legs and you lift your hips up, wincing at the sudden feeling of cold air.

“why’d you move?” jeonghan asks below you, clearly out of breath but pretending not to be. he’s wearing nothing except for his sweatpants, his bare arms wrapped securely around your thighs as he lays against the bed.

you look down at him, unconsciously squeezing your legs around his head when you see the mess around his mouth. his cheeks are a deep shade of pink and his lips are swollen and sticky, glistening with spit and slick. “you were trying to say something?”

“just talking to myself about how good you taste.” he smirks and tugs at your thighs to pull you back down onto his mouth, flicking his tongue upwards through your folds when you try to resist.

you frown and cross your arms, ignoring the tingling in your stomach as you watch his nails dig into your skin, his fingers turning pale at the tightness of his grip. “well, don’t do that. it makes me think i’m suffocating you.”

“princess, i appreciate your concern, but when i say sit on my face, i mean sit. like a chair. don’t think about me.”

“hannie—”

but before you can say anything he yanks you down hard, catching you off guard as you fall against his waiting mouth. you whimper as his lips immediately wrap around your clit, one hand shooting out to grip the headboard to stabilize yourself.

you look down between your legs where you can just barely see the top half of jeonghan’s face, his tangled hair sprawled across the pillow. his eyes are the only part of him that’s visible, hungrily staring straight up at you, as if he’s daring you to sit up again and see what happens.

you throw your head back with a breathy groan. the sloppy sounds coming from beneath you go straight to your core, the knot in your stomach tightening too fast for you to keep up with.

you try your hardest to resist the urge to grind against his mouth, but he knows you too well and knows you’re holding back, which is not what he wants, despite how you worry about him. his hands slide behind your ass and you look down again, finding an almost disappointed look in his eyes as he starts to rock your hips back and forth.

your other hand falls to his hair, weaving your fingers through it and tugging as you give in, dragging your pussy across his tongue with a whine. you can feel him smile against you when you grip his hair tighter, pushing your hips into his eager mouth. 

if there’s one thing jeonghan loves more than anything in the world, it’s when you use him for your pleasure. he usually has to coax you into it at first, not wanting to hurt him, but once your orgasm starts to close in something changes and suddenly you’re more frantic with your movements, more desperate to get off, the only thought occupying your mind is how good the feeling of his mouth, or his fingers or his cock or whatever’s inside you, is.

he lets your hand in his hair guide him, pushing and pulling his head around exactly where you want him. he can tell you’ve stopped thinking, focused only on the feeling of your walls throbbing around his tongue and his nose pressed against your clit. 

he can feel his cock straining against his pants, aching from not being touched, but the wait is well worth it when he finally gets to feel you cum on his mouth. he groans at the thought and you pull his hair harder, moaning out his name as you grind down on his mouth. his grip on your ass tightens, and he can feel his own spit mixed with your wetness dripping down his chin.

“fuck, hannie, right— right there! please,” you gasp out, your thighs squeezing the sides of his head so hard it makes him dizzy.

if his mouth wasn’t currently occupied he would make you beg him for permission before you cum, but he’s feeling generous tonight, as he usually does when you let him eat you out like this.

he purses his lips around your clit, sucking as hard as he can, and he can feel your legs tense up as you finally break, a flood of wetness seeping onto his tongue. your fingers clench and unclench in his hair, almost in rhythm with the way your cunt clenches above his mouth. 

he never lets up, continuing to drag your hips as you ride his face through your orgasm. you try to lift yourself up a little, flinching away from him, but his grip on you is firm. he holds you down against his mouth as he laps at your pussy, determined to clean up every last drop that spills out of you despite your whines and pleas.

he keeps going even when you call his name, the words stuck in your throat as you struggle to breathe through the overstimulation. you tug on his hair one more time to get his attention, but instead it just pushes him over the edge before he can even see it coming.

he nearly blacks out for a second, eyes squeezed shut as he releases a guttural moan into your pussy. his fingers loosen and you finally manage to break away from him, pushing your hips away from his face and falling to the side as your legs tremble with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

without your cunt smothering his face jeonghan finally gasps for air, his mouth hanging open and his chest heaving with shallow, hurried inhales. the dark stain on his sweatpants continues to grow as he lets out soft groans, his cock jerking as warmth floods his abdomen. 

you roll onto your back and look over at him, still panting as you start to catch your breath. watching the distant look in his eyes makes you grin, and you lean over to kiss a dry spot on his cheek. his hand falls to your shoulder as he pulls you closer to kiss you properly, and you whimper at the wetness on his warm lips.

the kiss doesn’t last very long, though, and he pulls back with a long sigh, still trying to even out his breathing. you rest your head on his chest and look up at him, captivated with how fucked out he looks as you wait for him to return to you.

after a moment he looks down at you, meeting your eyes with a mischievous smile. “see? didn’t suffocate,” he says, almost proudly.

you roll your eyes in response, swiping your thumb across his nose to wipe away some of the wetness, though it doesn’t make much of a difference. he sighs again and relaxes into the bed, but you move your fingers to his neck and he tenses up again, grinning when he sees you’re not quite done for the night.

your hand slides down his bare chest, drifting over his defined abs and pausing at the waistband of his sweats before resting on top of the wet spot, adding just a little bit of pressure. he moans and pushes his hips into your hand, shivering as his own overstimulation begins to set in at your touch.

“baby—mmh, too much,” he whimpers, his smile instantly falling. his hand moves on top of yours but his grip is light, his body telling a different story than his words.

you lean over his face and drag your tongue across his chin, keeping your eyes locked with his as you clean up the mess you’d left behind. “can’t believe you came untouched, just from letting me ride your face,” you whisper with a mischievous smile of your own. “you like it, don’t you? it gets you off, when you make me cum all over your tongue.”

“fuck,” he curses, arching his hips off the bed as he pushes his ruined sweats off onto the floor. “i can go again, just wait, please.”

you press another kiss to his puffy lips, deciding to be generous to him, too. “eat me out until you’re hard again and then i’ll suck you off, okay?”

suddenly with newfound energy he flips you onto your back, grinning as he shimmies down the bed and pries your shaky legs apart. “deal.”

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atla headcanons ~~~ 🔥🪨🌊🌬️

SEVENTEEN ATLA HEADCANONS

genre. headcanons. avatar the last airbender au. warnings. none. featuring. ot13 seventeen. wc. 1.6k. (around 100 words each) request. no. a/n. obviously i've been on a svt atla kick since burnt promises, second chances. i'd be open to writing fics for any of these small headcanons if anyone is particularly interested :)

SEUNGCHEOL

Ugh, Cheol is really hard. I kinda see him as any nation and also none at the same time. For the lack of other Water Tribe on the list, I’ll give him Water Tribe, but I don’t even think he’s a bender. He’d be a passionate hunter of the Southern Water Tribe, and a very good one, but not a bender. He’d always be eager to help out and fit his role as a true leader. He’s looked up to because he protects his people without fail. He’s good at strategics and known for his bravery. I see him fitting a role like Sokka’s father, but I don’t see him as anything glamorous like Water Tribe Royalty. He’s down to Earth and humble and honest. He leads and the people follow.

JEONGHAN

Jeonghan is an airbender. He’s witty and intelligent, and a great asset to his nation. He’d be in an Air temple close to the Earth Kingdom, and he often helps out with strategics if they ever need it. Definitely a kind and angel baby, but if there’s anyone who needs dealing with, he will personally take the task up. He’s world renowned and has allies and friends in every single nation. When he’s not busy, he’ll spend his time travelling around and immersing himself in the different cultures of the nations. He’s beaten Water Tribe hunters at their own hunt, evaded earthbender attacks in the ring because of how light he is on his feet. And his agility and wit proves to be useful whenever he goes head to head with a firebender. He can often predict their next moves and avoid attacks before they’re even fired at him.

JOSHUA

Joshua is Water Tribe!! Definitely a Water Tribe prince, or even a poor boy from the Northern Water Tribe whose parents couldn’t afford water bending lessons for him, so he would sneak around and watch lessons without getting caught. He’s mostly self taught, so he’s not exactly the best, but he can still hold his own. If he’s a Water Tribe prince, then he probably got bored with water bending very quickly as a child and started figuring out ways to skip his lessons lol. He knows clever ways to bribe or fool his masters into letting him slack off, but he also has to build enough skill to show at least a little improvement. He’s probably more interested in carving proposal necklaces to give to his future girlfriend than improving his bending skills.

JUNHUI

Jun is Fire Nation, and he’s extremely talented at Fire Bending. He probably runs a tea shop with his family and takes lessons on the side; just a regular middle class kid. He’s not aiming for a military position or anything high up, but he uses his skills to help him in daily life. He might have friends from places higher up in the city, and because of that, he got to take a visit to Royal Fire Academy for Girls. Definitely turns some heads— practically the whole school is crushing on him by the end of the 2 hour visit, and he enjoys the attention that he wouldn’t usually get at home. It’s safe to say that he’s invited back given the significant improvement in attendance and performance after his initial visit. 

SOONYOUNG

Another airbender, only because he’s so agile. Like the spider choreo really makes me see him as someone who just likes to swing around upside down for fun. He’ll play pranks on the older monks, or just anyone he can get his hands on. He’s a lot like Aang in that way. He definitely creates his own airbending moves, because he is a choreographer!!! Somehow takes a trip to the Earth Kingdom because it was his life goal to see a tigerdillo in real life. Once he meets one, he somehow adopts it, and settles down in the Earth Kingdom from there on! He’s perfectly happy, and can he even pose as an earthbender if he’s smart about it.

WONWOO

Anyone could probably guess that I see Wonwoo as Fire Nation. I wrote an entire 14.5k fic about it which is expecting a part 2, but I just think he fits it so much? Especially in a role like the Fire Lord or some notable higher up who is skilled at firebending and definitely owns a dragon (if we’re talking a time period before/during the dragon hunts). He’d be the type to just be a natural at it and reach a high mastery at an early age. He’s such a skilled fighter, and definitely knows how to control his flame. He prefers to study directly from dragons instead of old masters, whose teachings feel regurgitated and watered down, which sounds pretentious, but it’s one of the reasons why he got so good.

JIHOON

I see Jihoon as an Earth bender. He’s short and stout but HE'S SO BUFF. He definitely has the density in him to move some rocks, he’s practically built like The Boulder but without the height????? I definitely see him as part of the royal guard, but definitely not an Earth King. He might teach Earth Bending or get posted out on the coast near the Fire Nation or something— but he definitely has a military position. Somewhere where he can use his earthbending to its full potential. Not the most talkative, but definitely the most efficient, so he climbs the ranks like nobody's business and everyone knows to respect every word that comes out of his mouth. If you say even a word about his height, he’ll throw a rock at your head before you can finish the sentence.

SEOKMIN

It was hard to pick between Water Tribe and Fire Nation for Seokmin, but I think he’s ultimately Fire Nation. I see him as an actor for plays, and he definitely uses his firebending to win over the audience. It got to the point that even though he’s from a small town in the Fire Nation, he became a household name and got increasingly popular until he eventually found himself acting in front of the Fire Lord. Once he got rich enough from it, he got a spot in the most infamous acting troupe in the Fire Nation. His favourite role to play is, of course, the Dragon Emperor in Love Amongst the Dragons.

MINGYU

Just a bulky earthbender I don’t know what to say. He probably got recruited to some military position because he’s fit and can hold his own in a fight, but boy’s just really a sweetheart. He doesn’t enjoy smashing people with rocks, so he tries to get out of the military as soon as possible. He instead works as a carpenter of sorts? Builds elaborate structures with his earthbending, and has a surprisingly artistic touch to his creations. Popular with the older ladies because he is a gentleman.

MINGHAO

I see him as an airbender, but I cannot imagine him with a bald head LIKE HELP. But let's say he is, and for aesthetic purposes, keep the long haired Minghao. He practically floats and flies through the air with his airbendings. He’s probably more of a lemur guy than a sky bison guy. I can imagine him having 1 or 2 lemurs who he spends most of his time with. Obviously very light on his feet and into meditation. He’s one of those star students in the class that the teacher picks as an example for the other students to watch and learn from.

SEUNGKWAN

A waterbender, and he’s good because he focused and studied the traditions of it. He knows the importance of the basics, and when he’s teaching, he can get mad pretty quick if he catches a novice waterbender doing a technique lazily. He teaches them the hard way, making the floor an ice rink or slapping in the face with a water tentacle if they make a silly mistake. But he’s a respected master. (Not to say that he’s old, but he holds the respect of an old master). Also a great healer for the Water Tribe. He thinks it’s important for the men to not just learn how to fight with spears and slices of water, but also to heal the tribe, and he offers his lessons to the women of the tribe as well.

VERNON

Another Fire Nation boy. He’s so skilled he can redirect lightning and all that jazz. He’s a worldwide guy too, so he’s definitely familiar with the other nations and their bending to a certain extent. (Like Iroh, studying the Water Tribe helped him with creating new techniques within firebending). He has a dragon because he’s hot like that, and would hold master firebending classes lol. Definitely has connections to the Royal Family and I could even see him serving as a personal guard or something of that sort. His skills aren’t to be wasted, so he can snag a high paying position practically anywhere he wants.  

CHAN

Earth Kingdom kid from a poor family™, I mean it’s just so clear in my mind. I imagine his mom runs a corner store, and he likes to use his very limited earth bending skills to make the shop look prettier. If the wooden tables break down over time, he’ll earth bend a makeshift counter to display the trinkets for sale. He’s quite charming even though he doesn’t have much to say about himself. In the lower class of the Earth Kingdom, practically everyone knows him because he likes to go around and make new friends when he’s bored. He’ll help out the elderly if they need it, and flash a toothy grin to anyone he comes across.

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