Welcome To The Club

welcome to the club

He gets six crows tattooed, in detail, one a bit larger, two a bit smaller, and every crow has a little trinket in their hands. A knife, a gun, a stick of dynamite, a bone, a tiny wolf, a cane.

At first he only wanted to get five, his crows, but Inej convinced him to add his own crow to make it complete.

He finds a liking to tattoos and slowly gets more. When his relationship with Inej gets more formal, he gets her first knife surrounded by geraniums.

After a politically motivated attack on Wylan and Jesper he is reminded of how important they (and the other crows) are to him. He gets another crow, made of a pattern, with all their initials in it. It is placed over his heart.

When he reaches the point to not need his gloves anymore, he gets a small version of them tattooed on his wrists near the pulse point. When he gets panicked, he touches them to ground himself.

He gets the crow skull from his cane tattooed on his bad leg.

When he and Inej get their first kid, he gets the start of a little flower garden. A geranium with Inejs name hidden in the lines, one for himself (without a name) and one for the child, with the name. Every child gets added on. One day he falls asleep while Jes and Wylan are over, and they guerilla-add themselves and their kids. Kaz pretends not to love that when he wakes up and definetly does not get small flowers for them added at his next appointment.

Jesper tries for years to have him get a stack of Kruge. He doesn't succeed.

One marriage anniversary, Wylan gifts them a painting of something resembling a sigil, encorporating his story and Inejs and small nods to their kids. When Kaz subtly asks for a simplified version to get tattooed, Wylan cries.

When Inej gets her ship tattooed where the menagerie symbol was for so long, he consideres getting it too. He decides against it, lets her story be hers only. Instead he gets a reapers barge on his ankle, with small nods to the family he lost so early. He includes his own child self on the barge and then puts a crow feather a bit further up his leg to show what he became.

He keeps all his tattooes where they can be covered up and never shows them to strangers. Only his loved ones know them, some are only known to Inej. Because they are a way he shows love, that he values people so much he wants them to be with him everywhere and forever.

And when all the crows get a wolf and a tulip tattooed on the tenth anniversary of matthias' death, he grumbles, but cannot hide the glistening in his eyes when they retell stories and stand in Wylas backyard, the tulips not in their hands but their skin, thinking of the crow that has been lost.

One of my personal favorite Kaz headcanons is that he gets a tattoo for every person he cares about. Obviously he already has the R on his arm, so maybe like six crows for the other crows and then something specific for Inej, like a knife or geranium. And then if they ever had kids, something for each of them, and just. That's it. He gets tattoos for everybody and it's just super sweet.

i do love the idea of the wayne kids giving bernard shovel talks about taking care of tim and all that but also give me batfam who are just as protective of bernard as they are of each other.

give me bernard, attending his first wayne gala as tim's significant other. having a suit custom tailored and funded by bruce even if bernard insists it's not necessary because he already has one. arriving at the gala anxious because of course he is, it's a goddamn socialite event, but being protected from every side by the wayne kids even when tim is dragged away.

Socialite: Oh, and who might you be?

Bernard: Oh, um, hi. I'm Bernard Dowd, nice to meet you.

Socialite: Dowd? I've never heard of your family before. Who...?

Bernard: I'm not here with my family, miss, I'm here with my boyfriend.

Socialite: ... Boyfriend?

Bernard: Yeah, I'm here with Tim.

Socialite, frowning: Tim... as in Drake-Wayne? He has a boyfriend?

Dick, coming up next to Bernard: He sure does! Bernard here is practically one of ours now, aren't you? He matters to Timmy, so he matters to us.

Bernard: Dick—

Dick: C'mon, let's get you back to Timmy. Farewell, Mrs!

Bernard: I could've handled that.

Dick: All the rules that apply to my siblings during galas apply to you too. I'm sure you could've, but you shouldn't have to. I've got your back too, now, yeah?

Bernard: ... Yeah. Thanks, Dick.

Jason, coming up to Bernard at the bar: Not to freak you out, kid, but there's a guy starin' at ya from the other side of the bar. Y'know him or should I encourage him to look away?

Bernard, startled: Huh? (looks around) Oh. No, I don't know him. Why... is he looking at me like that, actually?

Jason, scowling: 'S just how the slimy fuckers at these events are. Can't keep their eyes off anything that's small, young or pretty. Disgusting. I'll deal with him— where's your annoying other half gone, inferior blondie?

Bernard: Tim? He got pulled away for quote; 'something important' by some lady. He said he'll meet me here after he's done, so I've been waiting.

Jason: Huh. If I see him I'll point him yer way. Hey, don't be 'fraid to ask any of us questions or for help if ya need it. We know the best how daunting this shit can be.

Bernard, genuinely touched: ... Thanks, Jason.

Jason: Yeah, yeah. Don't tell Timmers I said that, though, he'll call me a loser.

Bernard, laughing: I won't.

Bernard, being talked to by several people at once and a bit overwhelmed by the attention: Uh— I'm—

Damian, stepping between him and the socialites: Dowd. I require your assistance.

Bernard: Um— hi, Damian— with what?

Damian: You will see when we get there. Follow me, Drake's more tolerable half.

Bernard: Okay... so what do you need from me?

Damian: Nothing. You seemed to dislike the attention from all of the nosy adults over there. It was the most efficient way of extracting you from the situation.

Bernard: Oh. Thanks, Damian.

Damian: Tt, don't thank me yet, Dowd. I am still criticising your choice in romantic partners.

Bernard: Didn't you threaten me with a katana to not dampen Tim's mood in any way shape or form?

Damian: Slander. I said quote 'if you make Drake more annoying by breaking his heart I'm going to maim you.' I don't see how you got the message you did from that.

Bernard, grinning: Sure, Damian. Sure.

despite being older, dick and jason are 1000% the immature ones when it comes to bantering with villains.

like while they're all out fighting crime, Barbara's monitoring their progress, and on one side it's these young, high-pitched voices spouting sophisticated shit like, "while I do admire your unwavering consistency, it does beg the question: do you truly derive any semblance of pleasure from incessantly facing defeat at my hand?"

and then on the other hand, you just hear these two grown-ass men who are like, "FUCK YOU, BITCH, I HOPE YOU GET RUN OVER BY A TRUCK AND THEN RUN OVER BY ANOTHER TRUCK, SUCK MY DICK YOU DUMBASS PRICK, ALSO WANNA KNOW WHAT ME AND YOUR MOTHER DID LAST NIGHT ?I?"

(they say if you're very quiet, you'll hear a sigh of disappointment from the shadows while this is happening)

Regularly, Tim and Steph sit on the floor somewhere, looking at each other until one of them says "what even is your thought process" and then they just start laughing uncontrollably

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