The Gang Infiltrate The Tarkatans Camp

The gang infiltrate the tarkatans camp

Liu Kang: tarkatans. I don't like tarkatans. What's the plan for getting by them?

Kitana: live bait

Liu Kang: good plan. Wait

Kitana: come on. We need a diversion.

Liu Kang: what do you want me to do? Dress up in drag and do the hula?

A few seconds later

Liu Kang: luau! 🎶are you looking for a hunk of shao Lin meat? Eat my buddy Kung Lao because he's a treat. Come down and dine for something divine. All you have to do is get in line. Are you achin'?🎶

Kung Lao: 🎶yep yep yep🎶

Liu Kang: 🎶for human bacon?🎶

Kung Lao: 🎶yep yep yep🎶

Liu Kang: 🎶he's a big pig!🎶

Kung Lao: hey!

Liu Kang: 🎶you can be a big pig too!🎶

Both: oy!

I really like this answer!

I really like bats.

I really like this ask!

Kombat kids first mission

Kombat kids, in outworld: *surrounded by outworld minions*

Jacqui: we’re f*cked

Cassie: there’s too many!

Kano: *comes in and knocks the outworld minions out*

Kung jin: you are awesome!

Jacqui: and quite the charmer.

Takeda: *jealous*

Kano: kano’s the name charming’s my game. I can take you somewhere safe.

Cassie: I don’t know if we should trust him. I’ve heard that name somewhere before.

Kung jin: we need some friend from around here and he helped us out back there.

Kano: actually, Hawkeye is right. And if I do say so myself…

Kano: 🎶outworld is not a nice place for earthrealmers all alone. All around, there are lots twists and corners that could lead to the unknown. Let me guide your way and I’ll be sure to help you through. You could use a friend out here and lucky for you.🎶

Kano: 🎶I’m the friend that you need. When you’re lost and don’t know what to do. I’m your pal, your amigo. Useful and resourceful, too. And my help, you’ll concede, is a plus, guaranteed. You can call and I’ll come running just follow my lead. Cuz I’m the friend you need.🎶

Disguised black dragon 1: 🎶he’s a friend 🎶

Disguised black dragon 2: 🎶quite a friend🎶

Both: 🎶he’s a friend, indeed🎶

Kano: 🎶you need a bud to spot the danger. A bud to stop the creep. A chum, and not a stranger, to assist. you need someone who is cunning that can take the leap. A friend to know what’s lying in the mist. Don’t fear these darkened alleys. They’re scary, yes, I know. Why, you could use a friend to protect you wherever you go.🎶

Kano, looking at Jacqui: 🎶and such a dazzling beauty covered in dirt and muck. But, now your fate is changing. Now you’re in luck.🎶

Kano: 🎶cuz I’m the friend that you need. When you’re lost and don’t know what to do. I’m your pal, your amigo. Looking out for friends like you. And my help, you’ll concede, is a plus, guaranteed. Just call and I’ll come running. We’ll say it’s agreed.🎶

Kombat kids: *enter kano’s outworld home*

Kano, handing a black dragon a piece of paper with an address: here, take this to our employer and tell him,“my place, 20 minutes”. I’m going to get out of debt.

Kano: 🎶cuz I’m the friend you need!🎶

Kombat kids: 🎶he’s a friend🎶

Jacqui: 🎶quite a friend🎶

Kombat kids: 🎶he’s a friend, indeed🎶

Shao Kahn, after losing to Liu Kang: who does that earthrealmer think he is? Nobody defeats shao Kahn.

Mileena: agreed

Shao Kahn: defeated. I lost at my own tournament. Publicly humiliated. It's more than I can bear.

Mileena: would you like some refreshments father?

Shao Kahn: what for? Nothing helps. I've failed.

Mileena: you? Never. You have to keep going.

Mileena: 🎶gosh, it disturbs me to see you, shao Kahn. Looking so down in the dumps. Everyone here would like to be you, shao Kahn. Even when you're taking your lumps. There's no one in outworld admired as you. You're everyones favorite guy. Everyone's awed and inspired by you. And it's not very hard to see why! No one's slick as shao Kahn. No one's quick as shao Kahn. No one's muscles are incredibly thick as shao Kahn. There's nobody in outworld half as manly. Perfect, a pure paragon. You can ask any tarkatans or flunkey and they'd tell you who's team they would rather be on.

Everyone except shao Kahn: 🎶no one's been like shao Kahn. A king pin like shao Kahn.🎶

Mileena: 🎶no one's got a terrifying face like shao kahn🎶

Shao Kahn: 🎶as a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!🎶

Everyone except shao Kahn: 🎶my what a guy, that shao Kahn! Give 5 "hurrahs!" Give 12 "hip-hips!"

Mileena: 🎶shao Kahn is the best and the rest is all drips.🎶

Everyone except shao Kahn: 🎶no one fights like shao Kahn! Douses lights like shao Kahn!🎶

Shao Kahn: 🎶in mortal Kombat, nobody bites like shao Kahn!🎶

Ermac: 🎶for there's no one as burly and brawny🎶

Shao Kahn: 🎶as you can see, I've got power to spare🎶

Mileena: 🎶not a bit of hims scraggly or scrawny🎶

Shao Kahn: that's right 🎶and every last inch of me is laced with fear🎶

Everyone except shao Kahn: 🎶no one hits like shao Kahn. Matches wits like shao kahn🎶

Mileena: 🎶in a throwing match, no one throws Spears like shao Kahn!🎶

Shao Kahn: 🎶I'm especially good at hammer throwing🎶

Everyone except shao Kahn: 🎶10 points for shao Kahn!🎶

Shao Kahn: 🎶when I was a lad, I ate 4 dozen souls every morning to help me get large. And now that I'm grown, I eat 5 dozen souls. So I'm roughly the size of a barge!🎶

Everyone except shao Kahn: 🎶no one shoots like shao Kahn! Makes those beauts like shao Kahn!🎶

Mileena: 🎶then goes stomping around in armour like shao Kahn!🎶

Shao kahn: 🎶I use skulls in all of my decorating!🎶

Everyone: 🎶say it again! Who's a man among men? And then say it once more! Who's the ruler next door? Who's a super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his subjects and his five hangers-on! There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down! And his name is shao Kahn!!!🎶

I accidentally deleted the ask but I'll do the song request

Shang tsung: my sweet kitana. Filling requests is what I do. I live for it. To help unfortunate people like you. pour souls with nobody else to turn to. 🎶I'll admit that in the past I've been pretty nasty. They aren't kidding when they called a bit of a witch. But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways. Repented, seen the light, and made a switch. And I definitely know plenty of magic. It's a talent I've always possessed. And here lately, just don't laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and depressed. A bit pathetic. Those poor unfortunate souls. In pain, in need. One longing to be thin. The other to get the girl. Do I help them? Yes, indeed. Those poor unfortunate souls. So sad, so true. They come flooding to my flesh pits. Crying, "sweet sorcerer, please". And do I help them? Yes I do. Now it's happened once or twice. Someone couldn't pay the price. And I'm afraid I had to rake them across the coals. Yes, I've had some odd complaints. But I've mostly been a saint. To those poor unfortunate souls.🎶

Shang tsung: here's the deal, I'll Grant you the power to leave outworld and experience the earthrealm for three days. But that's it. And, if you can find you like it better there, you can stay. If you don't, you're coming right back here.

Kitana: I'd be abounding my family.

Shang tsung: that's your problem and choice. You need to make these kinds of choices in life. I forgot to mention that I'm going to need some payment.

Kitana: but I-

Shang tsung: not money. What I want is a tiny bit of your DNA. Specifically, blood. But you will be mute for a while.

Kitana: but it just seems a bit odd-

Shang tsung: 🎶you'll still have your looks. Your pretty face. And don't forget the importance of your fighting skill. People in earthrealm don't like a lot of blabber. They think people who gossip are a bore. Yet up there, it's much preferred for people to not be heard. Besides, what is idle prattle for? Come on! They're not all that impressed with conversation. Decent people avoid it when they can. Sometimes the people swoon and fawn on people who are withdrawn. It's they who hold their tounge that get someone. Come on! You poor unfortunate souls. Hi ahead! Make your choice. I'm a very busy man and I don't have all day. It won't cost much. Just some DNA! You poor unfortunate soul. It's sad, but true. If you want to cross that bridge the you have to pay the toll. Go ahead and take a breath the grab a pen and sign the scroll! Shao kahn, I've finally got her. The boss is on a roll! This poor unfortunate soul!🎶

Quan chi, looking at a broken coffee maker: so, who broke it? I'm not mad. I just wanna know.

Kitana: it was me. I bro-

Quan chi: no. No you didn't. Kung Lao?

Kung Lao: don't look at me. Look at Liu Kang.

Liu Kang: what? I didn't break it.

Kung Lao: huh. That's weird. Then how did you know it was broken?

Liu Kang: because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Kung Lao: suspicious.

Liu kang: no it isn't.

Kabal: if it matters, probably not but, Jade was the last one to use it.

Jade: what? Kabal, I don't even drink that crap.

Kabal: really? Then why were you by the coffee cart earlier?

Jade: I sit by it and polish my weapons. Everyone knows that.

Kitana: ok, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Quan chi.

Quan chi: no. Who broke it?

Kabal: Quan chi, strykers been suspiciously quiet.

Stryker: really!?

Kabal: yes, really.

Quan chi steps outside while the revenants argue.

Quan chi: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict that in 10 minutes, they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a demons head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.