There's One Problem With Me Being The Hot Girl Of The Neighborhood (besides The Fact That I'm Not A Girl)

There's one problem with me being the hot girl of the neighborhood (besides the fact that I'm not a girl) is that I don't live in a neighborhood. I live on a ranch, so when I put on my little slutty five inch inseam shorts and my little crop top and I walk down the laneway to the mailbox, nobody sees me except the cars driving by. I just feel like I need more attention. I need to get glared at by an old woman. It validates me.

Saw some excellent pigeons at my bus stop today.

NOT ZOLF,

ALEXANDER,

NOT ZOLF,

ANYONE ELSE!

(except Wilde also not Wilde)

The worst part about being functionally illiterate is not actually being illiterate, it's the fact people don't understands that I'm illiterate to a degree and whenever I say "what up I'm Mason I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read" they think I'm joking, I'm not joking, I really never learned how to read, I have a severe learning disability.

No one on this bus knows that I had to take out my contacts because one ripped, they all think I can see perfectly, what arrogance, what foolishness.

I'm an evil mastermind.

This is my life now.

There are some many of her.