When They Arent Busy Impersonating Cryptofauna, Double Crested Cormorants Can Be Found Performing Vocal

When they aren’t busy impersonating cryptofauna, Double Crested Cormorants can be found performing vocal exercises in the run-up to mating season. Gifted with a mellifluous timbre in the tenor range, these sonorous Sea-Birds favour particularly difficult arias in order to attract mates. Above, a Double Crested Cormorant finishes out the ‘Di quella pira’ caballeta from Giuseppe Verdi’s Il Trovatore.

Having never developed feathercare technology, Snowy Egrets live with a perpetual case of bedhead. Unfortunately for these ruffled wading birds other species refuse to loan out combs, brushes, and oils to properly style their feathers. Theories as to why range from simple impracticality (hummingbird feathercare tools are grossly inadequate) to other birds just being massive assholes (ducks).

With a storied history of warfare, Gorgeted Blue Herons are so named for the protective ‘ruff’ covering their breastbone. Fossil records imply these now-decorative feathers were once much heavier and interwoven, so as to deflect or soften otherwise lethal blows to the sternum. While it is true these fierce warriors can still be found engaged in brutal combat, the nature of conflict has changed to a decidedly non-lethal approach, thus reducing the gorget to a largely decorative role.

/!\ DO NOT APPROACH THIS BIRD /!\

This is a Gross Blue Heron, one of the most vile and disgusting birds to stalk the Earth. Over the past few weeks there have been seven confirmed fatalities of small children and under-informed dogs who have mistaken these fell beasts for Great Blue Herons in fancy dress for Halloween. When you are out and about trick-or-treating this year please be wary and change your route should you encounter one; losing out on full-size candy is a small price to pay for keeping your innards from becoming outards.

Reblogging for Daytime Americans because no, seriously DO NOT. MESS. WITH THIS BIRD. I cannot stress enough how incredibly deadly the Gross Blue Heron is in close quarters and doubly so for people with restricted movement due to Halloween costumes. They are relentless and fully aware that they are protected by both the Endangered Species Act and the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, so you have very few legal recourses should you fight back.

/!\ DO NOT APPROACH THIS BIRD /!\

This is a Gross Blue Heron, one of the most vile and disgusting birds to stalk the Earth. Over the past few weeks there have been seven confirmed fatalities of small children and under-informed dogs who have mistaken these fell beasts for Great Blue Herons in fancy dress for Halloween. When you are out and about trick-or-treating this year please be wary and change your route should you encounter one; losing out on full-size candy is a small price to pay for keeping your innards from becoming outards.

As the world approaches the middle of its month-long Halloween celebrations, we here at The Academy of Bird Sciences ask that you please be mindful of the Cattle Egret. These members of the Heron family are incredibly skittish, and can be startled into catatonia by as little as a motion-activated ‘zombie hand’ prop. While we understand the cultural importance of the season, it can at times inflict undue hardship on these high-strung birds.