This Is Part 18 Of The "What If Yuu Didn't Want To Go Back?" Series!

This is part 18 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

"Well, it's not my fault!"

"Of course not! Ace, nobody intentionally trips and falls on the stairs before the big tournament. Why would it be your fault?"

"Well, Deuce, just because I accidentally fell on the stairs doesn't mean I meant to sleep through my alarm and forget my school bag!"

"Myaah? Ace really screwed himself over this time!"

"Shut your trap, Grim!"

"Ace, be nice. Besides, you could've gone and gotten your stuff before class started. Why didn't you?"

He appears momentarily stunned, then resumes his previous attitude. "Shove it somewhere else! I'm not in the mood!"

"Ace! Don't yell at Yuu!"

Ace just flips him off. Trein, of course, walks in right when he does that- in clear view of the door.

"Trappola, detention."

Ace just groans.

The rest of class is quiet and it's easy to focus, right until the end. I notice instantly: when Ace puts his weight onto his right foot, he winces.

Grim and I share a look. Something is going on here. Luckily, we need only a few seconds of walking to determine a few details.

"Hey, Ace, does your right ankle need an ice pack, or were you using magic to keep it cold?"

He stops dead in his tracks and turns to face us, eyes wide with shock.

"Ace? Ace, are you okay?"

"Leave him be, Deuce. Ace, Yuu and I can take ya to the nurse if you want. Seriously, you need an ice pack on that."

"Ace," Deuce's voice is serious now, "did you get hurt on the stairs?"

"N-no, I'm-"

"Ace, that's serious! You could have a sprain! Come on, I'll carry you!"

"Hey, wait! Deuce, you don't have to- woah!"

With that, they're gone, Ace thrown over Deuce's shoulder like a sack of rice.

I smile. Ace is often a hindering factor during alchemy, so it's nice to toss him to the wind for a period or five. Plus, we're helping- he can't get mad at us for that!

Besides, if he's going to be mad, he's going to be mad at Deuce. He's the one who's carrying him like he's a burlap sack of potatoes.

Alchemy is boring, exept for the part when we told Crewel why Ace and Deuce weren't with us and the line "so Deuce threw him over his shoulders like a pillowcase full of cotton" made him laugh.

P.E. involves Deuce returning with two notes to Vargas: one for Deuce himself, and one for Ace. On the bright side, Vargas is rather distracted, and class is easy.

At lunch, we learn something new.

"Yeah, all them weekends're no class 'fter th' firs' one. Anyways, th' Spelldrive tournament's startin' up t'day! Jus' th' interdorm one, 'course, but'chall git th' idea, don't'cha?"

Oh, yeah, we have club activities today. Hopefully, the board games club has other Pomefiore students.

"Hey, you know what happened today? Ace showed up with an injury and no schoolbag. You should've seen Deuce toss him over one shoulder and run off with him; it was hilarious."

"Never seen anything like it, mya-ha!"

"Kinda odd, th-the decision of replacing our last th-three classes w-with clubs f-for the day... Meh."

I zone out and miss the rest of the conversation. My mind is too busy to pay attention- I'm remembering. Remembering how Korrak was exhausted on day one. Remembering how Mandible said "Pilot parents" but Korrak said he had nobody but Mandible, Grim and I just days later.

He seemed so small then. So scared, like he wasn't used to new places or people. But, if he did have pilot parents, shouldn't he be very used to all that?

This roommate is a mystery- and I am a male Nancy Drew with magic and a cat. In spirit, at the very least.

This is part 6 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

"Hey, Yuu! Hey, Grim! How's your day?"

"Hey, Korrak! Hey, Mandible! Guess what happened in first period?"

"Ooh," Mandible chirps, "did someone flirt with the teacher?"

"Myeehh... Nope. Some kid showed up late, and asked another kid what he had up his ass when the other kid told him to try and be on time!"

Epel, Korrak, Mandible, and Rook all burst out laughing, along with several other kids who heard Grim telling the Tale of Trappola.

"Firs' period 'n our class, sum' kid wen' on ahead an' tried t' flirt wit' Crewel! Didn't go well fer 'im, no s'prise there."

Vil is still trying to hold in his laughter. "Who exactly thought it was a bright idea to show up late for first period?"

"The claustrophobe from the entrance ceremony. I told the teacher, mya-ha! He asked the question to a new friend of ours."

I nod. "Yeah, there's a Heartslabyul right in front of us who's really nice. Then there's Trappola..."

"The gall o' some folk, eh? Hey, I dun' think we've really met- name's Epel! Nice t' mee'cha!"

"Nice to meet'cha too, Epel! I'm Yuu- Y-u-u, not y-o-u- and this is my familiar, Grim!"

Epel and I shake hands. Epel then shakes hands (paws?) with Grim unasked, so I like him more than I did listening to him, Korrak, and Mandible becoming friends this morning.

"It's nice to see you all getting along so well. Remember to keep a balanced diet, alright? In other words, that is entirely too much watermelon. Take some of the fish."

"We did, Vil."

"Where is it?"

I point to Grim. Vil chuckles.

"Well, just make sure he switches shoulders every once in a while. Otherwise, it'll ruin your posture. Same with you, Korrak. Mandible needs to sit on your left shoulder as often as he stays on your right."

Korrak nods. "Yes, sir."

"Ah, such young innocence, pushing through the teenage years! If only lunch lasted longer... Alas, there are many things I cannot change. Nonetheless, Beuté!"

"Hey, Rook is right! We have ten minutes to get to our next class!"

"Mandible is right. Come on, Epel!"

With that, Epel, Mandible, and Korrak all rush off to finish their food and get to their next class. Grim and I share a look before running after them, eating watermelon all the way.

"Bye, Deuce! We'll see you tomorrow!"

"Bye, Yuu! Bye, Grim! I'll see you in History!"

I sigh. "That wasn't so bad, was it, Grim? For a first day of school, I'd say that was awesome!"

"I have to agree! Can't wait to go to dinner and bed..."

I laugh. Grim is sitting on my other shoulder- per Vil's advice- and is flat-out pooped. He appears satisfied, though. I imagine I look similar. Oh, well. Nothing to do now but eat, the bedtime routine we're going to be doing all the time now that we're in Pomefiore, and a good night's rest. Maybe a meet-up with Korrak and Mandible- after all, you don't have to be Heartslabyul to spill tea.

Dinner is mostly silent. Everyone is too hungry to talk and too tired to stay at the table once they're done- such a thing would delay bedtime! Most of the chatter occurs on the way to and in the Backstage Room, as we freshies have started calling it.

"So, what happened to the flirt?"

"Ah, he had t' wash all th' mirrors 'n the school- 'cept the magic one, course. All wit' Vargas watchin'! 'Heard 'e kept on givin' 'im terrible dating advice th' whole time! Musta been a sight t' behold, I tell ya. What o' Trappola?"

"He had to wash every seat in the classroom after school. So, 40 chairs. By hand. Alone. To a shine. Those chairs are going to be cleaner tomorrow than they were today!" I glance left. "Korrak, wake up."

"Eh?" He really needs sleep. He got here first, though, so I imagine he'll be first to bed.

"You're done with the routine, Korrak. C'mon, let's get to bed." Korrak complies with his familiar's suggestion and carries himself out of the room, 'possum in his arms. I stop brushing Grim and flip him over.

"Purrrrrrrr, this is awesome. Rrrrrrrrrrr..."

Grim continues his happy rumbles as Epel stands and yawns. "See ya' t'morrow, pal." With that and a pat on the shoulder, he's gone, as are most the people in the room.

"Murrr, that's it?"

Grim keeps purring as I pick him up, stroke his stomach, and carry him to our dorm room. Korrak has done us the favor of forgetting to lock the door, so I do that myself before I put a sleeping Grim in his cat bed and a tired myself into my changing room of a closet to put on my pajamas.

"I wish I had magic..." The words are quiet, nearly silent on my lips, but oh-so-true. These people- these mages- can do so much with so little, and I just can't.

The glass of water is still on the nightstand when I lie down in bed. Now or never, I suppose.

Despite my efforts, all I get are ripples across the surface from the students still walking in the hallway. I sigh. No magic for me.

"Come on, Yuu. You're in Pomefiore, the dorm of tenacity! You can do it. Just go to sleep and stop worrying, just for the night."

I smile, softly. "Come on, Grim," I start, "we both know that mirror sorted you." My voice is somber. Why wouldn't it be? I'm too tired to pretend I'm Perfectly Fine with being the only one in a mage school with no magic. Still, Grim is right- I should just go to sleep.

Tonight, I dream of miracles.

This is part 5 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

Class starts in 15 minutes. First period is History of Magic- should be easy to find, right? After all, Vil made sure to give all of Pomefiore easy access to a map of the school. First floor, somewhere on the left...is this it? The room numbers match up.

The room is about half full. The paper says we have assigned seats, but it doesn't say where those seats are, so... where the hell do I sit?

"Grim... where's our seat?"

"Says we're in seat 34... so, third row, fourth seat?"

Counting the seats, we take our spot and hope for the best. Soon after we remove our notebook, textbook, pencil case, and folder, a boy with dark blue hair and an upside-down black heart on his face bursts into the room, panting heavily. The red color of his vest indicates that he's a Heartslabyul, but I can't tell if he's in the right room or not.

"Myaah? Hey, are you in class A?"

"Yes," the boy pants out, "seat 24... I'm not late, am I?"

"Nope! You're right in front of us."

The boy looks up, seemingly suprised at the sound of my voice. Our eyes meet- his are a beautiful, bright cyan. He'd fit right in at Pomefiore, at least visually.

"Wh...what?"

"We're in seat 34. Your seat is right in front of ours."

"Oh, okay." He looks grateful now, jogging to his seat and turning around to reach us.

"Ah, Deuce Spade- it's a pleasure to meet you!"

He sticks out his hand. I shake it.

"I'm Yuu- Y-u-u, not y-o-u."

Grim follows suit and sticks out his paw. Deuce takes a moment to catch on, but he does.

"And I'm Grim! Pleasure to make your acquaintance. "

Deuce looks relived, but that look soon turns to panic when he hears someone much older behind him.

"We are still missing someone."

A panicking #24 sits down quickly and puts his stuff down. The man- who is probably Professor Trein- lets the door shut behind him, but someone catches it. Another Heartslabyul, by the looks of it.

"Hey, teach! I'm on time, right?"

"Hey, Yuu! That's Trappola, from the entrance ceremony," Grim whispers. "He's claustrophobic. "

I laugh quietly. "That he is, Grim. That he is."

To Spade's horror, Trappola plops down right next to him, in seat 25.

"Heya! Nice to meet'cha. I'm Ace."

Deuce is visibly horrified. "I'm Deuce Spade. Please try not to be late in the future. "

Entrance Ceremony Claustrophobe scoffs. "What's up your ass this morning?"

Grim raises his paw. Trein calls on him. "Yes, Grim?"

"Trappola just asked Spade what's- and pardon my language- 'up his ass this morning.' It's distracting."

Now it's Trappola's turn to look horrified. Deuce, taking the opportunity, raises his hand. "I can confirm that. I can also add that he said that in response to me asking him to try to be on time more."

Trein looks pissed. Trappola looks terrified. I raise my hand, ready to put the final nail in the claustrophobe's coffin-box. Trein calls on me.

"I can confirm that both Spade and Grim are telling the truth." Trappola is very pale. He should get more sun. And more time management skills, but that's been pretty obvious for a few minutes at this point.

Trein's cat meows, and Claustrophobe's fate is sealed.

"Trappola, see me after class."

Deuce, Grim and I smile. Time to learn.

The rest of class goes by without a hitch. Ace's detention is that he has to wash all of the chairs in the classroom after school. Fitting, I think.

Deuce walks with me and Grim to alchemy. Crewel seems strict, but kind, so long as you stay in line. We don't brew anything just yet- big whoop, first day- but we do get a lot of notes. Deuce is turning out to be e great friend, too! He's an honor student, recovering delinquent, and generally great guy- Vil would approve. He doesn't look like he has much of a skincare routine, though.

The big thing happens during Phys Ed. Grim and I faint during the laps- Vil is going to be pissed when he hears about the lack of water- and Deuce is the one to single-handedly carry us both to safety, and then the nurse's office. Apparently, we already lacked energy. Oh, well. Nothing eventful occurs until lunch.

Back at Pomefiore dorm, where lunch is free, Rook stops to talk to us.

"Monseur Mystery, Monseur Chat! I heard you fainted today?" The concern in his voice sounds real.

"Yeah... the nurse says we already lacked energy."

"And we weren't drinking enough water. There's that too, Grim. "

"Why weren't you?" Vil sounds rather intimidating right now.

"Myaah, no water bottle."

Vil just sighs.

This is part 20 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

"Okay, I'll go first. I'm the oldest."

Grim and I share a look. A silent, mutually thought idea is agreed upon and placed into action. Grim dismounts from my shoulder and onto the desk with the board.

"Can I go first? Please?"

He sits, loafing, on the wood, giving his best kitten eyes directly to Idia, and mews softly.

"Alright, sure. Why not?"

Ortho turns sharply to stare at his brother. "Idy! I can't believe this! Willingly abandoning better chances for a cat? And no gain? You shouldn't!"

"You know me, Ortho, you know me! He's too cute; I can't help it! I'm a cat person, and I cannot abandon my primary morals!"

I roll the die. We move four spaces, onto a spot where a cliff leads. We might wind up there again later.

"Your turn, Mr. Oldest."

Grim looks at me. Ortho looks at Grim. I look at Ortho. Smugness and anger and amusement, and only one die has rolled. Only one piece has moved. This is going to be so much fun.

Grim looks at Ortho with the same adorable stare, and Ortho falls just as his brother did.

"...Fine. But only because you're cute, okay?"

Grim gets up, saunters back over to me, and gets on my other shoulder. "You heard him, Mr. Oldest. Your turn."

Idia rolls a three. Ortho rolls a five. Azul walks over and sits at the table, between me and Idia. I look at Idia, who refuses the eye contact but stares at the bridge of my nose long enough to say it: "he could still join the game."

"Hey, Azul! Not sure why you're still wearing those. Barbed is more in-style."

Azul sputters and stutters, eventually settling on, "You are a vice housewarden! You should know what glasses are!"

We laugh. "Hey, if we let him join, he might spend the whole time talking instead of playing. Y'know, like he did with the chessboard."

Azul sputters again. "I will not!"

"Myeeh... I don't think so. Prove it."

"Fine! I wi- wait! You're just trying to make me mad!" He inhales deeply. "I am going to go do something else."

Then he gets up and leaves. The other four of us just look at each other, shrug, and continue playing.

The game itself is uneventful, but the interactions are comedy gold. My favorite two are:

"Oh, come on! I could easily fly right back up there!" -Ortho

"Well, Grim, we've fallen... pretty far. You roll the die now; I have two broken legs." -me

All in all, it's a win. Not really- Ortho won the game- but the experience was a net positive.

"Good game, guys!"

Ortho and Idia agree. "Good game."

Ortho sighs. "Everything is so much fun. I'm so glad this happened."

"We're glad we joined."

Ortho laughes a little at that. "Not really what I meant, but I'm glad you joined, too."

"Myeh? What did you mean?"

"Well, I kind of... Died? And Idy managed to make a body for me. I'm technically a robot, but I do have a soul!"

Idia smiles, his sharklike teeth easily visible. "It was a little difficult, but I'm glad I did it. Being an only child sucks."

"Myeh, that's so cool! Azul is giving you a funny look, by the way."

"He is?" Ortho turns around. "Hey Azul, what's it to ya?"

Just like that, club time is over. It's now back to the dorm to rest and eat.

Korrak is awaiting our return. He's pouting a little, but, after Rook explains that new science club members don't get to handle acid on day one, things start making a little more sense.

"Well, I still don' like that Azul feller."

"We g-gotta meet Heartslabyul's v-v-vice housewarden. He made p-pastries, but didn't b-bring any."

"I got t' meet th' housewarden o' Savanahclaw. 'E really ain't all that plesent."

"Azul is annoying. Fun to mess with, though."

"'Ere's a lot o' folks on th' Spelldrive club. Tons o' Savannahclaws."

"All I had to do was look cute at them, and they let us roll first! It was great!"

"At Azul? Or at s-someone else?"

"At Ignihyde's housewarden and vice housewarden! It was hilarious."

" 'at's all it took, eh? Good fer y'all! By th' way, Leona said somethin' 'bout a celebrity- y'all know what 'e meant? 'Cause I don' know no celebrity."

Rook bursts into a laughing fit beside us. I can feel Vil's eyes from across the room, though there is notable confusion in his gaze.

"W-well, I don't know any, s-so I can't really h-help."

"Myeh... maybe he just meant 'moderately popular influencer' and doesn't know what a celebrity is."

"Th-that's probably it. Th-then again, I probably w-wouldn't know one if they b-brushed my hair."

Accross the room, I see Vil sigh and shake his head. He's probably figured out that none of us keep up with pop culture. He might know the celebrity, but I say it's none of my business.

The sun is low on the horizon, our food is eaten, and our dorm uniforms are cozy warm. Rook is still giggling beside us, Korrak is still complaining about the lack of handling acid he got to do, and Epel is calling Leona lazy.

It's been a good day.

This is part 8 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

Vil stares for a moment, just a moment, and then smiles. Grim is still looking at me weird, but says nothing.

We leave to eat. Grim's strange looks halt when he sees breakfast: poppyseed bagels with cream cheese and lox. We eat instead of talking, and I take the time to admire just how clean this place is.

Everything is so shiny. There aren't any paintings or pictures, noticeably, but there is a mirror hanging over there. It was probably put there to allow people to look at the oven without having to turn around, given the location and angle.

Looking in the mirror... Hey, it's Korrak and Mandible! And...Rook? Looks like he's intercepting them, too. At least he's giving them food first. Korrak walks toward the stairs with half a poppyseed bagel in hand.

Oh, well. That's none of my business. I'm done with my bagel, though, so it's off to the Backstage Room!

Grim finishes his breakfast on the way, and I brush him until his coat is soft and even. He doesn't complain about me stopping this time, but he does set off on a quest of magically dressing himself.

When I finish my routine, we head off to put my new phone up, and then it's off to History of Magic.

Trappola isn't here yet, surprisingly. I figured he'd've learned his lesson after yesterday, but I guess not. Oh, well. His problem! We'll snitch again if he starts today with a repeat of yesterday.

By the time we sit down and start talking to Deuce, Trappola walks into the room- with a collar on?

"I see your stares. Don't ask."

With that, he sits. Deuce stares right at him for a solid 20 seconds before speaking.

"We don't even have oolong."

"Not what happened."

I sit there, contemplating why this kid is wearing a heart-shaped collar with a lock on it to class. Very much a "Heartslabyul" look, though. Half is black, half is red, and the outlines are gold.

The bells rings, and Trein starts the lesson. I take notes and help Grim do the same with his levitation magic. He picks up on it pretty fast, and his writing is easily legible within 5 minutes.

Crewel gives Trappola a funny look when he walks in, but says nothing and the way he teaches seems normal. This is only the second time I've had him, though.

More note-taking commences. I'm rather tempted to question Trappola where he got that and why he's wearing it, but class is ongoing, so I refrain from asking and make sure Grim does the same. He shoots me dirty looks whenever I close his mouth for him, but he stays quiet.

Grim and I actually manage to stay conscious all through P.E.! That's a win for us.

"What, you think you're special just 'cause you didn't take a nap when you fell?"

"Nope! We think we're special cause we aren't the ones wearing a collar, and one of us is a cat."

Trappola turns bright red. "What the hell?!"

"Mya-ha, that's what you get!"

"He has a point, Ace. How did you get that, anyway?"

"Shut up, Deuce."

"Hey, Trappola, remember that one time you were snarky with Deuce and wound up cleaning all the chairs in Trein's room? I do."

Trappola shuts his mouth, forgets his lesson, and speaks again. "Hey, you can call me 'Ace.' I don't mind. Why do you only ever call me by my last name?"

"That's what the headmage called you during the entrance ceremony. Besides, we also call you 'entrance ceremony claustrophobe.'"

"Behind my back?"

"To your face, entrance ceremony claustrophobe."

"Okay, guys, that's enough."

"Shut it, Deuce."

"Dude, what is your problem?" Evidently, Deuce has finally had enough.

"It probably has something to do with the collar." Okay, being a dick here won't help, but I'm bored and hungry, so I'll care after lunch.

"Yeah, it does!"

"Myeh... I'd just take it off."

"I. Can't."

"Why not?"

"You say that like you don't know."

"They're first years from a different dorm, Ace. Of course they don't know. You have to tell them."

Trappola says nothing. Apparently, that thought didn't occur to him. I'm guessing most of them don't, though.

Trappola sighs, but still doesn't say anything. Deuce, clearly fed up, turns to us. "Our housewarden's signature spell is called 'Off With Your Head,' and he uses it on Heartslabyuls who break the rules. The spell places a collar around the target's neck," Deuce motions to Trappola, "and seals away their magic. I'm not sure what Ace did to get collared, but only Riddle can remove it."

I remember one of the Pomefiore sophomores explained all of the housewardens and dorms to the freshmen, me and Grim included. That's how I know Riddle Rosehearts is the Heartslabyul housewarden, a sophomore in the dorm based on strictness. No wonder, huh?

"Myaah... hey, Redhead, did you complain about yesterday in front of Rosehearts?"

Trappola looks stunned. "Yeah... How'd you know?"

"You swear when you're mad. That's probably banned."

"...You're right."

Grim appears prideful of his accomplishment, chest out and everything. Trappola looks lost. Deuce looks hungry.

"Let's go to lunch. Come on, Ace."

Grim and I wave. "Bye, Deuce! Bye, Trappola!"

The walk back to the dorm is tiring, but it's nice knowing we're just a little step closer to whatever it is we're reaching for.

This is part 11 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

By the time I leave, I have a ready-to-use phone and a phone case that somehow reminds me of both Grim and Pomefiore, courtesy of Rook. And, bonus: the touchscreen works through my gloves, so I can use it after class without taking them off and risking losing them.

Grim seems to like the charger more than the phone- naturally. He's a cat, the charger is a long thing that waves and dangles, that's what I figured would happen.

"No, Grim, don't bite that. Come on, let's put on our dorm uniforms and go find a nice stick to make a toy out of."

"Nice stick? How am I supposed to hold that?"

"You aren't. I have a piece of string to tie to it."

"So..."

"I can wave the stick around, and you can chase the string."

Grim's face lights up, and he magically changes into his dorm clothes without further instruction or prompting. I head into the closet.

The dorm uniform is incredibly comfy. The fabric is not only soft, but also tailored to fit me, and thermal in such a way that I'm never cold. I ought to wear this more.

When I reenter the room, Grim hops readily onto my shoulder. Off to find a toy, I suppose.

But, even as I search, something eats at me. It's nothing I don't recognize, but it's nothing I can just deal with- it's the knowledge that, out of all the people here, I am the only one with no magic.

Just knowing I've made it this far, so far, and I'm missing that one final thing- Grim wants to be a great sorcerer, so I either hold him back by keeping him with me 24/7, stick with him and watch as I pretend I'm okay with being so close to magic, and yet so far from having any of my own, or die.

I don't want to die. Not anymore. Not now, not when my death will actually hurt people. Not when there are people who will miss me and mourn me and wish I stayed. Not when my absence will open an unfillable hole in someone's heart.

I don't want anyone to feel that, because I've felt it myself, and it hurts. It hurts so much, like there's a part of you that's just void, and it's sucking the life out of you, bit by bit.

I felt that. For years, I felt that, killing me wholly and forcing me to live, day after night after miserable day, with no end in sight.

No. I won't die now. I'll wait until I've lost Grim and Vil and Rook and Epel and Korrak and Mandible and Deuce and Ace. I'll die when I'm just a distant memory of "one of our roomies in college," and "that classmate from my first year at Night Raven," and "the freshman with the flame-eared familiar."

I will die when I am nothing more than "that blurry memory of someone I knew and forgot."

"Monseur Mystery."

Rook's voice is soft, and tender, and worried, and caring, and kind. Kind. Kind, because he doesn't care about my lack of magic- he cares about me, the freshman with the flame-eared familiar. He cares about me, Monseur Mystery. He cares about me. Me, someone he knows and hasn't forgotten.

I needed that reminder. It's so quiet out here. My thoughts spiral and I can't stop it and there are tears streaming down my face, leaving little dark spots on Rook's dorm uniform.

I blink. Weren't we just on the ground? This ground is soft, like- oh, Rook moved us into a tree. I'm sitting on his thigh, not leaves. That makes sense.

No matter. With his arms wrapped around me and my arms wrapped around his waist, I am safe. That much, I know.

Grim is saying something. I hear his words, I know what they mean, but the dots go unconnected, and I take comfort in simply knowing he's here.

"Monseur Mystery, I hope you do not mind. Vil wishes to see you."

Vil. Another person to whom I am not just a distant, fading memory. Another person who cares about the freshman with the flame-eared familiar. Another person who cares about Yuu.

Rook is tapping on glass now. I am still crying, tears still running down my cheeks and into the fabric of Rook's uniform.

Another pair of strong arms wrap around me, pulling me into an embrace that's warm like the heat from a lit fireplace and strong like the house it's built into.

Secure. I feel secure here, held by two people who are, in some way, my parents, the first parents I've ever had, and never had, because, somehow, I still feel as though my life has yet to start. Like I've never been born, but I've died nonetheless.

Despite that, I feel safe and secure and loved, for the first time in what's not yet my life, but not the first, rather, just the most intense.

Back then, when Vil cut and brushed my hair, when I told them how I'd known Grim's name, I had tried to hold back my tears. I wasn't just sad, I was scared, scared this new world would be just as cruel as the last.

But, here, now, I let the sadness show in my sobs, in my sniffles, in my hiccups, in my tears.

For the first time, I am embracing sorrow, and I am nearly alive, closer than ever before.

The tears have stopped. The despair has lessened. The sadness has given way to joy. Faint joy, but joy nonetheless.

Vil is holding my face in his hands, meeting my eyes with violet irises filled with compassion, the likes of which is so intense I could never dream it.

"What's wrong? Why were you crying?"

I look away from him for only a moment, because that's all the time it takes for me to realize I crave his affection and the look in his eyes.

"All I need is magic," my voice is breaking, "and that's the one thing I don't have."

"You know," Grim pipes up, "remember the thing with the water glass? You said the ripples on the surface were because of the footsteps of the students walking in the hall."

"Well... yeah. That's what footsteps do."

"The footsteps of five people, all at least twenty meters away and trying to muffle their footsteps? On these solid floors?"

Wait. Grim has a point. Could those ripples have really been... me?

No. "There are a thousand things other that magic that could've caused that, Grim. Not all of them were there, sure, but only one had to be."

"Let me see your magestone." Vil's sudden request catches me off guard.

"Why?"

Vil just holds out his hand. "You'll see."

I hand him my magestone, and he holds it up to the light.

"Perhaps," he begins, "it is for the better that you know no spells."

The gem shines a beautiful black, all the way through- with the sole exception of three little lines of Pomefiore purple at the bottom that form a sort of upside-down trident head.

"Why is that, Vil?"

"Because," he smiles, "you would've overblotted by now if you used any magic."

"Overblotted?" For once, mine and Grim's voices are in total unison.

"Yes. Using too much magic, with no rest, causes blot buildup. But," he places my magestone back in my palm, "so do negative emotions."

"What are you?.."

"Do you know what blot requires, Yuu?"

"Uhh, nope."

Vil smiles, closing my fingers over my obsidianesque gem.

"Magic."