Inktober Day 10

Inktober Day 10

Fictober Day 8

prompt: "Are we happy"

Fandom: Supernatural

Character: Dean Winchester, Endverse Dean Winchester

Warnings: Internalized homophobia, the F-slur

Summary:

Dean's POV: Dean has a conversation with Endverse!Dean where they commiserate about the future of his relationship with Cas and how it reflects on his own sexuality.

Dean had a lot to think about after his conversation with himself from five years in the future. He was right about one thing, saying yes to Micheal was completely out of the question.

He continued to watch as his alternative self packed for the upcoming mission they were gonna take. It was weird watching himself in the third person. After a few minutes, he finally decided to break the silence left by their previous conversation. “Have we always looked like that when we walk?” 

“Would you be quiet? I only have like an hour to prepare to kill the devil… my brother– our brother.” Future Dean pivoted so he wasn't looking at his past self anymore. It was just as weird for him as it was for his younger counterpart. “Just because this isn’t your timeline doesn't mean the situation is any less severe.” 

“Come on, I have so many questions.”

“Are they about the mission?”

“...No”

“Then I don't wanna hear them.”

“Don’t be like that. When are you gonna get another chance like this? To talk to yourself face to face.”

“I can just look in a mirror.”

“Yeah well, I got questions about our future.”

Future Dean sighs. He hands his past self a pile of shotguns. “You get three questions, I’ll answer whatever you wanna know… but you clean these while we talk.”

Past Dean hesitates before asking his first question “...Any other regrets? Other than the whole ‘not saying yes when you had the chance’ thing.” 

“...Cutting Sam off. I’m pretty sure that’s why he decided to say yes… and I never got to truly forgive him.” 

“That’s all?” 

“...yeah.”

“Bullshit. I know my own lying tells.”

“...I guess sometimes I regret what I said to Cas… but only sometimes.”

“What did you say to him?” 

“Does that count as your second question?”

“Uh– no.”

“Then I've already said too much about it.” 

Past Dean things for a minute. “Oh I know… my question is what's up with Cas?”

“Very clever,” future Dean says sarcastically. “Fine but it's a long story so buckle up.”

“Buckled.”

“Basically… Cas never left my side when the world first went to shit. You know– I don't know exactly when in 2009 you're from but that's when it started. He turned to me after his search for God went nowhere but I barely ever gave him the time of day. And it's not like I couldn't relate I mean… I know a thing or two about being abandoned by your father when you need him most…” 

“You shouldn't say that kind of stuff about Dad.”

“No, I know… but it's not like neither of us have ever thought it before,” he said. “Anyway, back to Cas. He was just always so anal-retentive and uptight that I never appreciated what he brought to the table.” 

“What table?”

“...After some time I started to suspect that Cas… well I thought he might have had a crush on me.”

“Oh,” past Dean says genuinely surprised.

“You didn’t know?”

“Well, I mean… I thought that he was just like that with everyone I didn’t think it was…”

“But regardless of his feelings, I didn’t think I could, ya know… reciprocate them.”

“Well yeah… were not…” Dean cut himself off. “We're not… are we?”

Future Dean looks down. “Living in an apocalypse camp will do that to you… make you think about things you never had to think about before… things you repressed for years…” 

“We can’t be…”

“No yeah, I'm with you. That's why I slept with every woman I could… to prove it.”

“Prove it to who.”

“To me… to you… to every version of myself in every period of my life.” 

“And what about Cas… what did you say to him?”

Future Dean sighs. “I said… that he should think about finding a girl… or else people will start to think he's a faggot.”

“Why would you say that.”

“Because it's true.”

“True for him or for yourself?”

“Ourself” future Dean corrects him.

“No way I’d never–”

“But you did… because I did.”

“But you said you only sometimes feel regret about that…”

“Yeah… anyways we have to leave soon come up with your last question."

“...Are we happy with ourselves?”

“Happy?” future Dean said with a scoff.

“Well not happy– happy but… it's just you’re throwing a lot of things at me and between what you said to Cas and the way you treat the women around here… there's no way you don’t regret how it went down more than you're letting on.” 

“... You're right. If I could go back in time I’d tell Cas to never change anything about himself.”

“And what about you– what about us?”

“It's too late for us.”

Inktober Day 4!

Imogen breaking down her comphet this season is such an important story line to me and I'm not even a lesbian T^T

Chloe Price has such a hardcore reputation for such a dork and I love her so much for it T^T

Inktober Day 7: in honor of it being Monday October 7th aka Life is Strange Episode 1: Chrysalis day!