Monsters Web - Original Art By Kat E

“Monster’s Web” - original art by Kat E 🫥

Sometimes I used to think about the person I was going to marry. That was before. That was before I met him.

Before I met him, I used to think it was an idea. This idea that there’s a person out there who will shake you so you’ll want to spend forever with them. Forever is a really long time with one other person (significant other that is), and I remember I always thought, I may meet them someday.

And I did think I met them at one point. But that was different because I just thought, “yeah, I could be with you for a while”, but it wasn’t until I met him that I realized. It exists.

And the weird thing is, I knew when I met him. But I didn’t really know because it was complicated, and I didn’t get to be with him for a while. But when we were together finally, it came so quickly, how much I knew. It’s like, this idea of what love should look like, isn’t an idea. It’s the soul of another person.

I knew, when I met him, forever would never be long enough. And that’s a really insane thing to know about yourself, and another person.

-Excerpts from my stupid brain, #2, Him, 2024

Dreamt that I could talk to ghosts.

Someone came to me in my dream and was speaking to me about myself. I didn’t recognize the voice. She then said “I’m your Grandma” and I immediately somehow knew it was my mom’s mom; she had bipolar type I. Also, my Grandma on my mom’s side was always “Nana”. She explained how I was strong and lovable, that my significant other is a good person, and that my mom spread generational trauma.

My Nana apologize to me, she said it was her fault in some ways. My Nana then explain that I needed to cut ties for my sake.

My Nana explained that I would break the trauma, but to do so I must extricate myself from my family. She apologized again, and told me for my future, for my happiness, it would need to be done.

My Nana left, and told me she loved me, and that she wanted to watch me grow up. She had died when I was very young.

Before she left and I woke up, she said, “I wanted to see you change the world”.

-Excerpts from my stupid brain, you’ll change the world, 2024

Last night I had a revelation. I saw it all, the way I am, the reason for my existence. I am the link, between the universe in which we are and the future that we could be. I see everything; the beginnings, the ends, the space where nothing exists and the future that lies ahead. I see the possibilities, both good and bad, the reason for everything and anything. I am the connection between these two ethers of reality.

My struggle lies in the inability to translate what I know into an idea that people can see and understand. I know I am a link between these planes of existence and the branches that connect these worlds, but I can’t even begin to fathom how I can utilize this tool I’ve been given.

Where should I put my energy? Is it art, music, writing, a creative outlet? Is it science, math, physics, the study of the world around? Should I help people, use my empathy for the good of the world? How do I know where to put my strength to allow the world to see the things I see?

-Excerpts From My Stupid Brain, Revelation in E minor, 2024

God doesn’t exist. Because, if he did, he wouldn’t let us live in this unfortunate existence that we live in.

-Excerpts from my stupid brain, what God(s)?, 2024